The Authenticator | Hipster Runoff


The Authenticator

the xx - Last Christmas (WHAM! cover)

Relevancy Rating: 
-5


2k12 saw the xx's critical stock plummet thru the floor. After winning over every1 with their trendy buzz in ~2k9, they shat the bed with their sophomore album "Coexist." While they could have stopped writing horrible, boring music, they decided to push onward, ruining the music of other ppl by doing a horrible cover. This cover of WHAM!'s hit song "Last Christmas" is sure to ruin any family's Christmas. If anything, this cover version sort of demonstrates how the XX became such a joke this year by turning their 'signature sound' into cheesy cliches [via longing whispers].

I would expect this type of song from a 2k7 entry-level buzzband 'trying to break on2 the Hype Machine', but not from an alleged 'tier 1 indie band.'

Poor WHAM!. :-(

George Michael is rolling over in his grave.

#FreeJamieXX

John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John - I Think You Might Like It

Relevancy Rating: 
-10


'Hey look, it's the couple from GREASE with a new song! It looks like it was shot and directed by a fringe Youtuber.'
-old person

I only posted this video because I am always fascinated by John Travolta's painted-on hair.

AZEALIA BANKS - Atlantis

Relevancy Rating: 
1


I feel bad for Azealia Banks. She has one 'really really good song' in "212" and everything else she will ever make will be less interesting/appealing. It is sorta like M.I.A., except I guess M.I.A. has a few pretty good songs AND she is a crazy bitch who knows how 2 thrown down a meme.

Unfortunately, Azealia Banks can only 'be all #seapunk.' I feel bad for her for only being able to reach 'Die Antwoord' levels of interest, where u basically make one of those 'visually stimulating music videos' that is meant to be played at a lamestream dance club where the DJ is mixing music AND music videos.

R I P #seapunk

Can Azealia Banks ever return to "212" levels of trillness, or is she 'trapped' being the same 'indie-ish female rapper' that we've seen before?
Has her career already peaked?
Is Kreayshawn more successful than Azealia Banks?
R u tired of every1 exploiting #seapunk? [via Rihanna on SNL]
Is John H. Seapunk, inventor of #seapunk turning over in his Second Life grave?

Would u rather ride #seapunkwaves or #chillwaves?

Sufjan Stevens - Silver & Gold

Relevancy Rating: 
3

This new song sounds like a Sufjy song, which is what I thought I wanted during his bleepybloop experimental bullshit phase.

But now it sounds just like a previously existing song or two. Maybe banjo-wave music means that u can only write the same song ovr and ovr again.

What previous song(s) does his new song sound like?
R u excited abt his 'Christmas album' or can Sufjan only thrive while writing 'gimmick albums'?

Sufjan Stevens - Star Spangled Banner

Relevancy Rating: 
6

Remember that time Sufjan Stevens wrote that BLEEPYBLOOP album AGE OF ADZ, and every1 was like, "Why don't u make the music that captures the sadness, frustation, and hope of a Midwestern existence again? You know, the type of shit with all those zany instruments and women/children vocal choruses." Maybe this Star Spangled Banner is his was 2 reconnect with America, bc as far as I'm concerned, his career is a failure until he records at least a song/EP/LP for every one of the 50 states.

I guess he is just trying to capitalize off that Obama liberal indie buzz by releasing this the day after the election.

Can't tell if this is 'chill/kewl' or if he sorta ruined it. I guess the only way to tell is to let him perform it live at the Super Bowl and see if people boo or cheer.

I just hope he doesn't wear neon shit anymore. Never vibed 2 that gimmick.

Animal Collective - Crimson

Relevancy Rating: 
1

Do u evr feel like u have 'outgrown' AnCo?
should they 'pull an LCD Soundsystem' and 'retire' just to come out of retirement in 5-10 years?

Do u listen to AnCo and 'just hear noises' and no longer feel feelings? Is that a problem with U, or is that a problem with AnCo's product?

Crystal Castles - Affection

Relevancy Rating: 
9

I wonder if Crystal Castles will get 'album of the year' consideration, or if they will be 'blacklisted' in favor of some bullshitters who make zany interview videos for BuzzBlog.TV just so their publicists can keep their job. If any one deserves to be 'thrown a favor' due to quality of output for the past ~5 years (basically haven't written an unlistenable song), it's CC. Not 2 much else is THAT good anyways/deserves to be #1, so might as well make it the Year of the Castles so we can remember it fondly.

Sort of like how Martin Scorcese won his Oscar for The Departed even though it was 1 of his shittiest movies. (And this album prob isn't going to be shitty.) We know that CC are great, treat them like indie royalty, but they are often (for better or worse) not part of the Corrupt Indie Machine that panders to boring white ppl.

Who is ur album of the year?
Is it time 2 honor Alice Glass in the same manner that every1 sucked the clit of Vicki LeGrand/the peen of Bon Iver & Win Butler in previous years?

Chromatics - Looking for Love

Relevancy Rating: 
7

The Chromatics always sound like the Chromatics.

Did they 'kill it' at CHANEL Spring-Summer 2013?

Toro Y Moi - So Many Details

Relevancy Rating: 
7

I remember back in pre-2k10, before the buzz drought when I could find an interesting MP3 every week. Sometimes I wonder if I was just a 'trendy loser who thought everything new was kewl.' This gives me 'hope', or maybe reconnects me with an old memory associated with music discovery.

# In Chaz We Trust.

When it's all said and done, Chaz Bundick has arguably put out the most quality MP3s since 2k9. I can't tell if that is a good thing for the 'core fans' or if it alienates 'critics' who think that 'real indie bands' have to have some sort of song and dance album cycle every 2-3 years.

Will the new Toro Y Moi be the most interesting album Chaz Bundick has ever made?
R u a fan of modern Toro Y Moi, Contemporary Toro Y Moi, Pre-Toro Y Moi Chaz Bundick or Chill Waver Wave Core Everything?

Holy Ghost! - It Gets Dark

Relevancy Rating: 
9

Holy Ghost! had one of the best albums of 2k11. Most of the time 'album of the year' lists are filled with crap that you can only really listen to 'now' because it feels 'fresh' and 'buzzy,' but you forget about 'music you can consistently listen to bc it is fun, interesting, and not trying2hard.' Holy Ghost! will probably have one of the best albums of 2k12/2k13/whenever their album comes out. "It Gets Dark" reminds me of the time I got 2 dark. :-(

#dark

'I hope it all falls apart.' -Alex Frankel, 2k12