Street Fashion | Hipster Runoff

Street Fashion

Is it still unchill 2 wear creatures? Will fur tankinis catch on in 2k10?

Photo by Pregnant Goldfish

I am trying really hard 2 'phase out' the Am Appy phase in my life. Just really trying to implement a personal brand that is post-thriftwave, but not really too 'corporate retail chain at ur local mall core.' Really difficult in our modern world. Feel like the world is a mall, and I am going 2 be stuck window shopping for the rest of my life (or until I pay off my maxed out credit cards that I used to purchase apple products + equipment for my new sound project).

Do u know if it is chill to 'wear fur'? I know a lot of ppl make a big deal about 'killing animals', and how 'it is wrong' since animals deserve to live their own lives', sorta like when humans turn 18. Just saw this hot ass girl wearing some sort of bikini / tankini made from a creature. I think it is either a mink or a sugar glider [via ur local PETCO].

She seems like a chill girl, like the kind u want to get to know + date for 1-2 years until some sort of 'epic breakup' goes down.

I am a huge fan of the tankini. I feel like it really 'liberates' women who are a little bit too 'heavy' to wear a bikini, but dont' want to look like a 'cow' in a 1 piece bathing suit.

Just want a curvy, comfy woman, feeling proud on the beach, not afraid 2 swim in the ocean, becoming 1 with nature.

Feel like the fur tankini is a pretty good look and it helps u 2 become 1 with anture.

Feel like this bro is 'jonesing hard' on this girl. Maybe because she is 'showing off tons of skin, or possibly because of her progressive tankini.

Are tankinis gonna 'catch on' in 2k10?
Do animals have rights?
Do yall know about any 'summer looks' that the internet trendspotters should know abt?

Should I buy some XX dining room wallpaper?

Photos by Plastic Choko

I am always searching for ways to prove that I am 'the most authentic fan' of buzz bands. So many people just steal MP3s and share them with their friends to prove that they are 'true fans'. Some more authentic fans purchase vinyl editions of LPs. Some bands create iPhone apps / games for their fans 2 buy. Going to a live show can prove that ur a fan, especially if u take some sweet video footage with ur point and shoot camera. Buying the poster of a band can make u a legit fan according to people who enter ur college dorm room..

Feel like wallpaper is 'the ultimate poster.' Like something that will be in ur room forever.  Wall paper interacts with the space in ur room, turning a 'bland' room into something that is 'truly beautiful'? This bro decided to get some wallpaper that represents his love of the XX, 'mashed up' [via Girl Talk] with his love of dining. The fork and knife form an X, metaphorically representing where art, commerce, food, and society intersect..

One day, u will take down all of the posters in ur room when you 'become a new version of you', but wall paper is more likely to stick around.  Do u have better wall paper in ur house / apartment, or as the background of ur desktop?

What are some good ways to prove that u r an authentic fan of buzz bands? How can u create a meaningful product to showcase ur allegiance to a buzzband?

  • Grizzly Bear: Go hunting, kill a grizz bear, turn it into an iPod dock + speakers
  • Vampire Weekend: Go 2 the movies and see 'Twilight' on a weekend
  • MGMT: get ur MBA from University of Phoenix online business school
  • Beach House: have ur parents buy u a house on the beach
  • Crystal Castles: build a castle out of crystals
  • Animal Collective:
  • Panda Bear: go 2 the zoo and feed a panda bear mp3 players made out of bamboo
  • Washed Out: huff cleaning agents
  • Neon Indian: Go 2 an indian reservation, and paint some Native Americans 'neon', have them perform on SNL, kinda like Ke$ha
  • the XX: buy a bunch of Dos Equises, then drink them, and keep the bottles in ur room.

Do u know of any good ways to prove that ur really into bands?
What types of band merch do u buy?
Do u want some sort of dining room set that showcases ur love of ur fave indie buzzband?
Should I get a bunch of black clothes + turtle necks so I can copy the XX's brand, sorta like how teen girls dressed like a slut / Madonna in the 1980s?

What is the most authentic utensil: the fork, knife, spoon, spork, or chop sticks?

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Might get 1 embedded in my jacket.

Photo by Stil in Berlin

Hey yall. Just looking at kewl new trends. I just saw this little critter that is chilling on a bro's jacket, but it also might be integrated as a scarf. I feel like I could use a little creature who is an extension of me. A lot of people buy dogs, cats, fish, and other mainstream house pets, but I need something that is 'high fashion' not just some mutt that I have a personal connection to. Always searching for new and exciting ways to differentiate my personal brand, taking it to the next level.

Maybe I should get one of these mysterious creatures and sew him on to my Am Appy hoodie. Feel like that might differentiate me from 'every other tween wearing an Am Appy hoodie.'

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Rlly need to buy one.
a) fox
b) tiger
c) lemur
d) sugar glider
e) wombat
f) muskrat
g) rat
f) wildabeast
g) ferret
h) golden retriever
i) kitten
j) ice panda
k) an animal collective
l) mini-deer
m) Tasmanian Devil
n) armadillo
o) komodo dragon
p) manatee
q) beluga whale
r) Brooklyn sea otter
s) aardvark
t) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Really want to jump on the 'animal fur' trend while there is a backlash against it.

Does n e 1 know how I can create one of these critter accessories? Do I just go to PETCO and purchase a pet to hollow out?

Is it 'mean' to get a real animal and murder it/ hollow it out?
do animals really have rights, or is there no difference between the meat industry and the exotic fur industry?
Is there really such thing as animal cruelty?

R u allowed to pretend that your critter is a puppet, and have it talk to people about relevant issues?
Have u ever worn 'fur'?
Have u ever killed an animal?
R u good at zoology: the study of going on zoo field trips when ur a kid?

Is the 'tube scarf' 2k10's first relevant alternative trend?

Photo by facehunter

I've been alive for a while. I have lived through so many different trend cycles and seasonal weather changes. It is always fascinating to see how our global meteorological climate can impact trends. As the weather rides waves of chill winds to winter temperatures, humans must find a way to 'stay warm', but more importantly 'stay in touch with relevant fashion trends.' Just because it is mad cold, doesn't mean u can sacrifice your alternative look.

It seems like the tube scarf is 'gaining steam' about becoming a solid option for alternative ppl who want to wear a scarf, but don't want to seem 'entry-level' about it. The bro in the picture really seems to be protecting himself from the elements, while looking 'like an interesting human being, based on the clothes he is wearing.'  I feel like the modern brand of the scarf is associated with a Jonas Brother/tween or something. Authentic humans must find a new form/function for the scarf, and you can see the flexibility of the tube scarf gives humans ultimate protection.

You can even bring the tube scarf over year head, so you don't have to look like boring ppl who wear 'lil beanies.'

Feel like I have read somewhere that humans want 'options'/flexibility, which is why Coca Cola makes multiple products.

Tube scarves seem to be an interesting, flexible look for both men and women. Like a trend that only 'bohemian consumers' could/would implement. Like some sort of high level band that only people who 'get' the alt scene would even know about.

Scarves are rlly dangerous territory though. I really want to stay warm, but I don't want to seem like I am 'trying too hard.'  Feel like suburban tweens wear scarves to 'look older'/seem like they are 'from the city.'

I will never forget the altstreamification of the keffiyeh/Palestinian scarf. Feel like I watched this trend evolve, much like a proud father watches his son grow into an NFL player.

Sort of wish I could be a mainstreamer/attempted-'hipster' who prematurely wore a scarf on a day when the temperature ranged from 59 degrees to 75 degrees.

Miss the era of girls learning how 2 crochet, then making ppl scarves as gifts.

Always start to 'giggle'/'scoff' whenever I see some1 of any age wearing a keffiyeh, the 'scarlet letter' of an entryleveler.

It is important to note that 'scarves' are simple items for manufacturers to make + get 'huge margins.' Really hope Target doesn't start manufacturing them.

Worried that an entry leveler will wear his Am Appy hoodie, a palestinian scarf, and a tube scarf all on the same day in 2k13.

I am happy that the tube scarf has given me the opportunity to strengthen my personal brand, and distance myself from winter accessory trends that have outlasted their 'useful livez.'

What do u use to keep ur neck protected from the elements?
Does a scarf fit in with ur brand?

Previous winter clothing coverage

Do yall think Old Navy fleeces will eventually 'come back' as an alt trend in a post-post-ironic way?

Hope and Homelessness--Never give up on Personal Branding.

Photo via thecobrasnake

I saw this picture portraying a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, he had a pee pee accident as his dark yellow urine streamed down towards the star of a celebrity. I felt tons of emotions as my brain processed this digital image. Shame. Guilt. LOLability. Snarkfactor. Sadness. AmericanBeauty. Happiness. Loneliness. Fucksocietivity. Bloggy. Alive. Dead on the inside. Alone. Without a home. Metaphorical. This is the power of photography. A simple man who peed his pants in his sleep [via no home] can say so much about humanity, society, and the struggle 2 create a better life for urself.

The sad/beautiful image of the homeless man made me think of a recent post on the globally acclaimed streetfashion blog 'the Sartorialist' in which the photoblogger posted a picture of a coloured homeless man, then wrote an 'inspiring blurb'.

Photo and blurb by the Sartorialist:

I don't usually shoot homeless people. I don't find it romantic or appealing like a lot of street photographers, and if you asked homeless people they are probably not to happy about their situation either. That's why I was surprised to be so drawn to taking a picture of this gentleman.

I was being interviewed for an article in British Vogue; and while we walked down Bowery back in April I barely stopped walking when I took the shot. Fiona Golfar, the writer, asked why I took the photo. At that moment I couldn't really explain - but I just had a feeling about the power and grace of how he was sitting there. It wasn't until later that night when I was working on the image that I realized why I had noticed this man.

Usually people in this man's position have given up hope. Maybe this gentleman has too, I don't know, but he hasn't given up his sense of self or his sense of expressing something about himself to the world. In my quick shot I had noticed his pale blue boots, what I hadn't noticed at first were the matching blue socks, blue trimmed gloves, and blue framed glasses. This shot isn't about fashion - but about someone who, while down on his luck, hasn't lost his need to communicate and express himself through style.

Looking at him dressed like this makes me feel that in some way he hasn't given in or given up.

Damn. The bloggerbro's inspirational blurb is actually kinda true... It's like even though you might be the poorest, most worthless, homeless guy in the world, it doesn't mean that u can't have a little bit of pride 2 make sure that your clothes match. Never give up. Every day, u have the opportunity to brand yourself--you have the opportunity to let the world know that you are a person, and within this person is a brand which the whole world can consume.

Homelessness is not a disease--homelessness is the product of a group of people who have no pride. A group of people who don't play by society's rules. A group of people living in some demented reality, no longer in touch with the availability of legitimate intrinsic rewards through the power of 'creating.your.own.image.' We must inspire the homeless so that they can inspire us to do more than to take artsy pix of them. It is easy for photographers to take pictures of homeless people because they usually look 'insane', 'urban', and as if society has shat upon them.

A lot of people say that homeless people should 'get a fucking job'--now I firmly believe that they would get a job if they dressed nicely, and treated people with respect. It seems like they could some how get a job at an investment bank, or perhaps a McDonalds, similar to the plotline of the popular Will Smith joint 'The Pursuit of Happyness.'

After reading that inspired blurb, it sort of makes me want to tell this guy to 'get his shit together', and 'have a little bit of pride.' U can't go around pissing on urself and wearing lame ass clothes if you really want to turn ur life around.

It doesn't matter if you can't control your bladder, or if you are mentally challenged, or if you are having 'terrible flashback dreams.' Every day, you need to take pride in yourself. You need to realize that your personal brand is being interpreted by every1 who sees you. Do you want to depress your viewers? Or do you want to inspire them? Be a valuable person--not just to yourself, but also to society as a whole.

This is a blog post about hope.

My first design school project.

Photo via the Style Scout

Hey yall. Had a super busy weekend. I have been awake for the past 72 hours, doing tons of addy (adderal), a lil bit of blow, 5-hour energies, Diet Red Bulls, and even tapped into my 'emergency reserves' of Sparks. My first design school project is due tomorrow, and the critique is gonna be super hard. My professor was a guest judge on Project Runway, so I really need to impress him if I want to get an internship with some1 relevant.

The assignment was 'make a piece of clothing that represents u.' I chose to make a sweet jacket. I'm new to sewing, so I needed something that would rlly 'stand out' without exposing my technical flaws. I think the rugged aesthetic of my jacket really works. It looks formal, but also 'chill' since there is some denim. There's also a patch of my fave game, Super Mario World, on it. Really feel like this jacket is me.

I am afraid of my critique, yall. Afraid of 'having to justify' why my work of art exists. Not sure if I will 'get fucking grilled' for some of my design decisions. Worried that there will be some hi level art fggts who make better stuff than me. Worried about 'not being the best' in my class. Don't want 2 b made fun of. This jacket is 'actually me.' Just hope people accept me 4 who I am.

Still searching 4 my SUMMER LOOK: Football Shoulder Pads?

Photo via glamcanyon

I was looking for summer looks, and I noticed this bro wearing huge athletic shoulder pads. I think that they are supposed to be 'protective.' Might be inspired by 'all of the drama in Iran.' Like the whole world is about to turn into 'a massive battlefield', and we all have to be prepared for 'riot police'/'nuclear weapons being dropped.'

I kinda feel relieved that Obama is in office now. If George W. Bush was in office, he would probably make us 'nuke' Iran, and we would probably have to go to war with them. Would be hella worried about 'getting drafted.' Not sure if I want to be drafted into a war. No sure how that would go. Wonder if the military camps would have wifi. Wonder if I could take my Macbook, or if I could only use compys in compy labs. Wonder if I could still download relevant mp3s from mp3 blogs.

I don't wanna be drafted, yall. :-(

N e ways... Think that football pads seem pretty 'alt' in our modern world, but might become 'mainstream' soon. Might buy some 'leopard print' leggings to set myself apart. Just looking for a summer look.

Sorta reminds me of the most alternative bro of all time, John Alt.

Do yall have any good ideas 4 summer loox?

Sorta miss the days of sleeping over @my_boyfriends_apt

Photo by Glam Canyon

I sorta miss the old days, back when it was kewl 2 wear ur BF's clothes the day after you slept over at his place. Used to just usually be an 'oversized oxford shirt', but think the trend is expanding. Think it is a sign that ur 'seriously committed to some1'--like a cobranding opportunity. This broad is proud 2 show off that she 'spent the night' with 'a very handsome man' who chills in blazers and Oxford shirts. She even added some height by wearing some sort of platform shoes/shoes with rollerskates in them.

I feel like the 'swinger mentality' might be 'going out of style.' Think that it is important to be in a relationship, and find 'the 1.' As fun as it might be to 'put ur peen in a lot of holes'/'have ur holes filled by a lot of peens and fingers', there comes a time when u just need to grow up and get into a long term relationship. Some1 who will be there 4 u. Some1 who u can grow old with. Some1 who u can 'not get tired of' and 'won't resent them as u see them growing older and fatter.'

Might build a time machine and spend my youth 'becoming a twink' so I can get a 'bear' boyfriend and sleepover at his place, get 'rammed up my poop shoot' and wear his big clothes. Feel like that life might be a good one. Just wanna be with some1 who loves me/lets me wear his work clothes+buys me nice things.

Previous sleeping over at BF's and wearing his shirt coverage


Wish I coulda slept with all of them.

Have yall ever worn ur significant other's clothing?

My personal brand is 'being a think piece.'

Photo by Easy Fashion

I am not your standard bro.
I see the world with a different pair of glasses, which are not 'rose coloured.'
I mix elements of Christianity and the Matrix in2 my personal brand.
I do not believe in concepts like 'time', 'space', and 'love.'
I do not find pleasure in any sensory activities.
I try to have 'no aesthetic' but unfortunately people try to call me 'fashion forward.'
I walk down the street and people stare at me. They wonder 'what is up with that bro.' They would never be able to understand what is up with me.

"I" do not "exist." I am just sort of here to 'challenge' people and their 'realities.' I make you uncomfortable because I do not exist for the same reason you exist. I am a conceptual bro. I want to make u 'think' about 'the big picture.' Want to make u ask 'why?'

I want to be noticed. I do not want to be noticed.

This is me.
These are my rings (collected while my family vacationed in Arizona and New Mexico).
This is my cross. This is my faith.
This is me underneath my dark hood.

I am sort of like a 'fameball celeb' who makes u wonder WHY/HOW ppl get famous.
I am a think piece.
I am more than just a human who is 'alive.'
I exist for a reason that extends beyond 'general humanity.'

Will buying a banjo make my personal brand more authentic? [via Sufjan Stevens Theory]

Photo via the Minneapoline

I have always wondered what instrument will help me seem the most authentic. I feel like too many people play guitar, and tons of people can play ableton/turntables, so I'm just searching for something that will make me stand out a little bit more. Would like to start some sort of authentic folk band and get 'significant coverage in p4k magazine.' Might buy a banjo. Feel like people who can play the banjo are always respected as pure musicians. Feel like people always 'respect' folk music no matter what.

Might buy a saxophone instead. Possibly start a 'pazz and jop' band like the TelevisionsOnTheRadios.

Might write an album about every state in the United States, and get it done before Sufjan does.

Do yall know what the most authentic instrument to be able to play is?
Or is it better to 'be a production genius' who is decent at every instrument?
Did ur parents get u musical lessons when u were a kid? Do u wish u took them more srsly so u could be in a relevant band 2day?

Thinking about writing a pilot for a new television show.

Yall. As u know, I am a very creative person. I am thinking about writing a television show. Please give me feedback about my ideas.

Think that I am going to cast two bros as the lead bros.

Photos via histiley

Bro #2 also seems chill.

Think that there are a lot of different directions 2 go in.

Might decide to cast a woman and have the bros be entrepreneurs.

Might make the sitcom about teen issues.

Might make the sitcom more of a 'teledrama' about dead bros in the alt scene and crimes and shit like that.

Might make the bros mutilate themselves' and film it. Will make them do shit like 'cut their peens in half' and other stuff that the Bam Margera/Johnathan Knoxville/Verne 'Wee Man' Troyer did.

Might import a funnie show from Britain and do my best to Americanize it so that it is 'critically acclaimed' even though it is empty.

Thinking about writing some sort of tween mystery show to get an authentic following of tweens who are both smart and lonely/not allowed 2 have BFs/GFs [via the Twilight audience]

Might make it a snarkie social commentary cartoon for adults only.

Might have an ensemble cast of alt people living life in a meaningful city.

Might name one of the bros in my sitcom 'seinbro' and have him get

Feel like maybe a reality show would work. might include 'fighting and death.' I have read articles that cagefighting is the new sport that people are into since 79% people only watch sports to watch ppl 'get severely injured.'

Do yall have any ideas for a good sitcom about alternative people in our modern world? Sometimes I feel like I can't come up with ideas that are original. Just feel so influenced by images from my youth. Wonder if I will ever create something that is totally my own, and not influenced by anything else.

Feel free to pitch some ideas in the comments section of this post, and I will relay your ideas to people I know within the industry. What types of characters + themes + plot + setting are necessary for the modern show that realistically portrays alternative ppl? Or is this show already on television [via GossipGirl/Skins/TheApprentice]?

What will alternative people look like in 2k45?

Photo via advancedstyle

Sometimes I wonder what we will be like when we're old, yall. Like will we still be the same size, and still look the same? Will we have grey/gray/white hair/go bald? Will we be like 'suddenly everything has changed' [via the Postal Servicing]? I feel inspired to 'stay young 4evr' by this beautiful old woman wearing an altbro colour palette.

I hope that when I'm old, I'm still able to stay 'fresh.' I just want to be kewler than my kids and grand kids, and I don't really want to let them experiment with trends that are doomed 2 fail. I just want them to be a lot like me, and if they ever stray from the path of authenticity, I will lash out at them, like I am deeply disappointed in 1 of their life decisions. Not sure if I even want them to be successful, but I think I just want to know that they aren't 'wasting their glory days.' Miss being seventween, yall.

1 day I will be on my deathbed (wearing Am Appy)
and I will look back on my life
and I will say 'i was a chill ass bro
who just wanted to have a good time
and there's nothing wrong with that'

Scared about getting old, yall. Don't want to lose 'the most important' parts of 'me.'
What do yall wanna be like when u grow up and are about 2 die?

The PattyWolfAlt

Yall. I have recently heard of this artist who is some sort of free-spirited twink from a forest/from the past or something. I am not sure what his gimmick is. He may or may not be a fashion icon. His name is Patrick Wolf. I have never heard his music, but I think he probably makes music that is worse than that Final Fantasy bro who plays a violin.

I think he might be like 'fashionable' or something in a way where ppl 'think he is interesting and awesome' just because he makes bold choices. Think he might be some sort of 'minstrel' who traveled in a time machine 2 the present, trying 2 bring a lil bit of authenticity to alts of tomorrow.

I feel like PattyWolfAlts might be invading local scenes. Seems like it must be a pretty intense lifechoice. Personally, I would probs rather just wear Am Appy.

Photo by the streetwalker

Not sure if PattyWolf Alts are twinks or post-sexuals. Feel like they just want to 'stand out' and possibly 'be fierce.'

Not even sure it Patty Wolf is a 'relevant artist.' Does n e 1 know some 1 who buys his records? Can some1 tell me what he sounds like?

Feel like the Brandon FlowersAlt/KillerAlt might be more relevant.

miss u

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier, yall.

What is the most authentic portable gaming device necklace?

Photo via Facehunter

Yall. Just saw this blipster wearing a necklace with a Game Boy on it. I wasn't born when these gadgets were around, but I know that they were a pretty big deal. Kinda weird when people apply the whole 'vintage' mindset 2 technology. U assume that things 'continue 2 get better', but some people prefer aesthetics from the past. Kinda weird.

What portable gaming device would u use as a necklace?
a) PSP
b) Nintendo DS
c) Gameboy
d) Gameboy colour
e) Game Gear
f) blue Game Gear
g) Portable DVD player
h) Tamagachis
i) an iPhone with no music or service, but just games
j) a Super Nintendo tied around ur neck
k) a Wii controller
l) the band 'the Ataris'
m) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Hope that the increased demand for these old machines doesn't make the price go up. Need 2 get a good deal on ebay.

Previous HRO video game analysis

"It Doesn't Matter if Ur Black or White." - Michael Jackson

Photo by Facehunter

I saw this bro, and I think he is a 'human metaphor.' I think he is sort of like a cartoon character that is supposed to help us think about racial issues. While his skin is black, he has created an environment where we mostly see white.

There is also a symbol on his sweatshirt which represents 'the white man.' I think it is probably another metaphor about 'something racial' like slavery, colonial rule, and the white man's adoption of hiphop culture. Sometimes yall need 2 do more to think about the power of imagery. Fashion is more than just 'trying 2 look cool.' Fashion is an opportunity to celebrate culture, comment on history, and make other people think, kind of like a progressive freshman English class with a teach with a passionate, liberal-minded teacher.

What do yall think this metaphor means?

Photo by The Cobrasnake

Think it has 2 do with Colonial America, and how black people were slaves, therefore the flag should be only black and white since there were no other races in America yet, and since society was 'upside down' the flag should be too.

How would u explain this metaphor? Is Michael Jackson a 60 year 'performance art piece' kind of like that zany Joaquin Phoenix bro?

h8 when my mom drops me off at school and decides 2 get off the car

Photo via Hel Looks

As yall know, I am a tween who attends an upscale private school with an emphasis on the performing & liberal arts. The tuition there is close to what some dumb people pay for a semester at their state university/community college. My parents aren't the wealthiest people--fortunately I am on scholarship at this school. Sometimes I don't fit in with all of the other rich, entitled kids, but it makes me work harder to be the best without the cushion of rich parents.

My mom is a little bit on 'the free spirited side.' She is one of the most active parents at school, and has formed many relationships with teachers and leaders of on campus organizations. I h8 to say this, but I am kinda embarrassed when we drive up to school in our old mini van, and then when my mom gets off the car sometimes. I feel poorer than the rest of the kids when I am doing a good job of fitting in, even though I don't have all of the tools 2 fit in that other kids have. Wish my parents made more money. Want 2 fit in

Just sux. I 'love' my mom, but at the same time, kinda wish she would realize how important a personal brand is, even when ur a tween.

Just do me a favor and drop me off a block away from school, mom. If u loved me, u'd understand.

Previous free spirited mom coverage

Do u ever wish u could sleep 4ever?

[via lookbook]
Sometimes I wish I could go 2 sleep
and never wake up
This doesn't exactly mean I want to end my life
but I just want to be at peace
I want to lug my twin mattress
out to a meaningful public space
and take a lil nappy.

There is so much pressure in my life
Parents, Going away 2 college, expectations from others
The pressure to stay modern/current/relevant
Overcoming my insecurities

Sometimes I wish I could just 'let my hair down' [metaphor]
and be myself [metaphor]
free of the concept of 'mainstream vs alt' [metaphor]
because if u really think about it
there's no such thing as 'normal' [metaphor]
and if u really think about it even more
there's no such thing as money

so while I keep hearing things about the economie
being 'in the shitter' [metaphor]
I realize that we just have to pretend that 'gold' is valuable
but in all reality
that's just corporate bullshit
made up by companies like Coca Cola and Dell Computers

Kinda wish we had a new Che Guevara / Joan of Arc /Tyler Durden
in the modern world
who would challenge society
and take us to a whole new level
where I wouldn't just want to
metaphorically close my eyes
and metaphorically sleep 4ever.

Not sure if I'll ever pay back my student loans
Not sure if I'll ever own a home
Not sure if I'll ever make more than $33K/year
Not sure if I'll ever find what I'm looking for
Not sure if I'm even the type of bro who can handle a 9-5 job

Sometimes I wish I had a beautiful angel
in my life
to take care of me
and tell me that every thing's gonna be alright.

[Photo via Pregnant goldfish]
////SLEEP /// 4 /// EVER

Hoodie Manifesto [via Conceptual Activist Bro]

[lookbook social network]
I think that being an 'activist' is an important trait/personal branding tool. It's important to 'stand for something' and 'not let the world spiral in2 some bullshit snarky, post-blogosphere cesspool." [via people who describe bad places as "cesspools"]

I am not sure what the pictured bro is all about, but u can just kinda tell that his message is important. His hoodie has a lot of words, and his face is hidden beneath the shadows. If I had to guess, I would say that the rant has something to do with:

  • the environment
  • the government
  • large corporations
  • pollution
  • the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay getting 'beat up' 2 tell us secrets about Osama Hussein
  • Sustainable energy sources
  • John McCain
  • Sarah Palin meme theory
  • women's suffrage (big mistake, yall)
  • Minority rights
  • The impact of modern media & 'how it shapes society's perception of lyfe'
  • How the law should classify transgendered ppl
  • Themes from the movie MILK
  • Steroids + HGH in professional sports
  • The War on Terror
  • The War on "brown people"
  • class wars
  • poor people not getting as many opportunities as rich white people
  • music criticism on the internet
  • banning the hypemachine
  • installing the hypemachine in all Chevrolet automobiles in 2012 instead of the radio
  • Withdrawing from the United Nations
  • getting all mad abt celebs who wear fur
  • getting all mad that _________ are 'get paid more than teachers'
  • the concept of 'getting all mad'
  • the portrayal of black people in films during the pre-Obama era
  • Spousal abuse
  • tween violence
  • the Obama pyramid scheme + internet hype circles
  • Paying Am Appy employees less money 2 make it fair 4 the rest of the world
  • other important stuff

Just wanted 2 know: what are YALL passionate about?
Is there stuff that's happening that yall have aligned ur personal brand with 2 let people know that u care?
Do yall wish that the unabomber wrote his manifesto on a hoodie instead of on a piece of paper?

Do yall think more people would have chilled with the Unabomber's anti-technology ideas if he was edited/reviewed by J.D. Salinger / Vonnegut / Crichton / Johnny Grisham / R.L. Stine?

When I grow up, I want 2 b on a Party Pic Site

When I grow up, I want 2 be frequently seen on a party pic website (on a weekly basis). I want 2 show up on 1 of the relevant sites in a major city. I want people 2 know that every week, I attend at least 1.5 cutting-edge cultural events. The world is watching me for the next big trends. This gives me a reason to be alive.

When I was young, I thought I wanted to be an astronaut/fireman/ professional athlete / doctor / lawyer / investment banker, but now I realize that there's more to life than just 'having a title that people respect.' U should want more than just money + status in a local community. U need international alternative internet fame. U need 2 be seen + be relevant. U need 2 'look prettie' and participate in a more personal version of 'the paparazzi.'

Just because there aren't tagging features on most party pix sites doesn't mean they are worthless. Party pix sites are more authentic than facebook and flickr because you have 2 work harder to 'be a community.' When u r on a party pic site, u r part of something bigger than urself.

Be proud 2 be seen, yall.
Be proud of who yall are.
Be proud of ur wardrobe.
Be proud that u 'get' the world.
Be proud that u attend relevant events.
Be proud that u 'get' that u will be on a party pix site, then make a tshirt abt it[via graphic design], show up on another street fashion blog, then get blogged about by some 3rd altBlog. ( u r a meme. )

[Photos by Facehunter]


miss u

Dear Mom, You are a bitch for getting me an iPod for my BD. ttyl bye.

[Photo via Lookbook]

Dear Mom,
I h8 how u do not 'get' me 1 bit. U need 2 pay attention 2 me so that u don't end up looking like a dumbass shitface who 'doesn't care about her son' when u try to do something nice 4 me. Recently, u went to a local Best Buy to get me a meaningful gift to go with last Christmas's Macbook stocking stuffer. U decided 2 get me an iPod touch.

First of all... I already have an iPhone. Totally don't need an iPod touch. s00 dumb. U srsly should NOT be alive. U need 2 read more actual publications on the internet instead of reading the local paper from 2 years ago. U think ur smart because u 'have a career' but the shit u do is meaningless, and I would srsly slit my own throat and wrists if I had 2 do what u do every day. There's more to 'life' than ur version of life--I wish u could see it my way so that you'd understand my most recent personal brand implementation.


N e ways, Just wanted 2 let u know that record players are the new iPods. Just a more 'organic' feeling when ur listening to music. Like ur closer to the artist. (I might also give up my iPhone and only use pay phones.)

I h8 the idea of
1) purchasing mp3s
2) being 'so portable' just like every1 else
3) co-branding myself with white earbuds
4) having some ghey-metallic coloured iPod
5) being 'so connected' with a wifi connection
6) the audio quality isn't authentic
8) The recent Apple product recall because Steve Jobs's disease 'contaminated' a bunch of product lines

Record players are the future bc U have to make a decision about 'where u want to be' and make sure that your apartment/room/space is extra meaningful. It's also more difficult to 'collect vinyls' than it is to collect mp3s, so it makes you 'love music' more that typical people.

I wish u'd realize how 'out' iPods are. They are for high schoolers and overgrown tweens. Do u really think I look like this guy?

[Photo via Easy Fashion]

/// h8 the shit out of u, mom
/// we used to be 'bros' right after dad 'left us'
/// but now I am finally seeing
/// that I was the 1 worth leaving.

your altSon

PS: can u leave me some pizza money 4 the weekend?

The Forever Young AndrogynAlt

[photo by Easy Fashion]
Yall might remember the Forever Young Alt:

Forever Young Alts never age. They never appear to get older. They don’t appear to have a definite gender.
You can’t tell how old ForeverYoungAlts are. He or she might be an 11 year old whose parents make too much money and let them go on an alt-shopping spree, or possibly a 52 year old who worked in graphic design before Adobe even existed.

Yall might also remember the Androgynalt:

Androgynalts, also know as ‘unisex alts’ are a rare breed of alt with a gifted body type, hair texture, facial structure, and personal brand.

This pictured person is a mix of both of these concepts. Part of u starts 2 wonder 'how young is that bro/broad?' but then u also kinda have 2 ask urself 'Is that a bro or a girl or a halfie?' Kinda weird how people want to look so young these days. I remember back in the 19_0s, people used to think that 'getting old' was sexy, because you became 'wiser.' These days, I don't think our society values 'how much knowledge about life' u have [via wisdom] because old people don't even know how young people live. They don't even know how 2 google--why should we respect people who are so inefficient? Makes me feel like the world that old people lived in was a 'stupid world' filled with 'stupid, slow, boring people.'

Don't know what I would do if I lived 'before the internet' but we have to remember that ForeverYoungAlts are a good representation of our inherent desire to 'stay current' and 'youthful' and 'vibrant' and 'forever young.' Just want 2 be connected 2 the world/memes/news/celeb gossip and stay 'more in the know' from the most authentic sources [via social media]. Can't be friends with people who still 'read the newspaper.'

Even if I physically age, will I be able 2 'stay young/connected', or will I eventually 'lose interest' in the things I once valued, and focus on raising my kids/getting 'fat' and 'disgruntled' with my life/the world around me.

Should I spend 2k9 trying to figure out how 2 stay 'forever young'?
Does n e 1 know what type of liquid is contained in the AltFountainOfYouth?

Monitoring Emerging Trends: MAN BANGS

[via GlamCanyon]
Not sure 'who I am' but getting a better idea of 'who I want 2 b." My ideal version of who I want 2 b involves some sort of implementation of man bangs/a helmet-type of haircut. Whenever I see a keut girl with a set of bangs, I wonder why more bros can't implement them. Not gonna be 'afraid' any more. Gonna make sure that I 'follow my dreams' and activate my lookbook account.

All I ever wanted
was a browl cut
& some1 2 'love' me
& a 5-5-5 deal from Dominos
& extra dipping sauce
& an unlimited supply of office supplies
& a chance to write the sequel to "Office Space"
& a chance to write an episode of "The South Park"
& a chance to make my 'parents' understand my alt lifestyle
& a chance to break free of my social class
& the opportunity to get paid for 'lookin at kewl stuff on the internet'
& a lifetime contract with Apple so that they send me a new lappy whenever a new1 comes out
& a highly coveted gmail invite
& man bangs
& express myself

What do u want from 'life'?
"Don't be afraid 2 dream." -HROs Theme of 2k9

Previous Browl Cut

Previous Man Bangs

I want to 'get back to my roots' as a trendhunting blog, but ever since my post on AnCo and my podcast, I've just been wondering 'what i'm supposed 2 do with my life/bloglife?' //help

I am the ringmaster.

So this is the new year,
and I don't feel any different.
I am the ringmaster,
in a world of zany zaniness.

This world is like a circus
kinda like the Britt Spears song/album
and I am in the middle
and every1 is looking @ me
and things are crazie

Circuses are metaphors
for when
the world
getz 2 zany 2 handle
and the whole world
is watching

I want the whole world
2 watch me
bc my prsnl brnd
is worth watching

What will I do next?
What will I wear next?
What will I say next?
What will I be next?

This was a poem that I wrote to support uniforms + dress codes in public school.


This bro lives in the forest, free from society, and free from design/fashion norms. His life is simple, yet conceptual, and he has a clearer state of mind than you.

[via lookbook]
In 2k8, there was the electro jungle, populated by entry levels in Am Appy headbands + neon/Afrikan leggings & altbros in oversized graphic print tees. Now that we live in a less-electro era, we will venture into the Conceptual Forest. In this forest, we can hear songs more conceptual, open-ended songs. The Conceptual Forest is an incubator for authentic expression and progressive techniques of recording sounds.


In the Conceptual Forest, our minds are free, and we seek 'meaning' that we cannot find in a major metropolitan area. We are alone in this Conceptual Forest, allowing us to get in touch with who we truly are.

Will u leave a major metropolitan area 2 find urself [via the Conceptual Forest] in 2k9? (At least maybe take a weekend trip?)

/// We are living in a Post-Merriweather Post Pavilion World
/// And I am a Conceptual Bro

The Search for the Most Authentic Scarf

Yall. Isn't it kinda weird how scarves blur the line between 'functional' and 'completely unnecessary' depending on the weather? h8 people who 'wear scarves when it is 65 degrees outside.'

Men with scarves = kinda like entry level altbags, or maybe like 'people who shopped at the GAP for too long.' Girls with scarves seem like they are 'trying 2 hard 2 be kutesy', but that might be bc of the limited range of scarves. Wearing a scarf does not give u an Instant-Brand like a lot of other possibly-useless accessories. S0 many types of scarves.

h8 u Palestinian scarves. trying 2 forget abt 2k8, yall.

[via lookbook]

h8 plain bitches/mainstreamers in scarves

h8 'zany scarves'

Don't mind altbaguettes in progressive scarves that challenge existing design concepts

Do yall know if scarves that look like the blanket/quilt that ur mom has on the couch for people whose legs get cold is going 2 be big in 2k9?

[photo by GlamCanyon]
What's next after the scarf? Trying 2 identify the core competencies of a scarf, and how we can make scarf technology a lil bit more obsolete? Are scarves essential+necessary, or are they kinda like the drinking straw?

Hopefuly American Apparel puts rain ponchos into production soon. Probs would wear one even when it's not raining to make sure that my personal brand was differentiated from every1.

So this is the new year // and I (do/don't) feel n e different, yall!

Has n e 1 ever knitted a meaningful scarf 4 u as a gift? Do u think they made it as a labor of love, or are scarves just 'the easiest thing 4 entry levelers to knit'?

Forecasting the Child Predator Glasses Economy

In 2k8, I was able to make tons of mediocre posts heavily relying on the strength of the gimmick of Child Predator glasses. I'm not so sure if 2k9 will be easy. We are slowly but surely reliving the product lifespan of shuttershades. s00 popular at the beginning, but then got rlllly inauthentic.

[photo by click/clash]
I think what we're slowly realizing is that there's more to a Child Predator aesthetic than just glasses. A Child Predator is a direct threat to society, and looking like a child predator is less of a 'fashion choice' and more of a lifestyle choice. A ChildPred can strike at any time without warning. There is a certain level of free-spiritedness and 'I might kill U' zaniness that we can see in the eyes of Authentic Child Preds.

Putting on the lenses of a child pred does not enable u 2 c the world that they see.

This entry-level alt is indicative of the increasing inauthenticity rates among people who have branded themselves' with child pred glasses.

[via lookbook]
As soon as things reach the kids/entry-levelers, the personal brand image has been tarnished, rendering the look to be inauthentic for the next 7-10 years.

Maybe I am all wrong. Maybe the next wave of child predators will wear zany suspenders & kute white shoes to 'appeal 2 young kids.'

I will miss u Child Predator glasses.
(miss u shuttershades)
/// help
Which glasses will be 'next'?
Have yall heard of Wayfarers?

What is the future of the Modern Child Predator (Glasses)?
Will Child Predators be forced to Update their gimmick in order to appeal to modern kids?

Oops I diarrhea-ed My Pants Pants

Yall know that Oops I Crapped My Pants pants are slowly but surely replacing the 'skinnie jean'/'stepdad jeans' in 2k9. However, we must be sure to differentiate between varying extremes of OICMP pants. Some versions of this pant only have an 'enlarged diaper' type of effect. This broad has the fashion equivalent of a toilet bowl beneath her, ready for any scale or variation of 'accident.'

Not sure how much 'accident space' I need architected in2 my pants. Don't even know what kind of 'accidents' I am capable of excreting. Hope I figure it out when I am casted on the next season of Project Runways/The Biggest Loser.
2k9 is hard, yall.


[Photos by Lookbook]
When I die
and come back to our Earth
as a minority
I will come back to Earth
as a fortunate AZN
carrying my groceries & macbook
in relevant product packaging
to differentiate myself from
the generic AZNs
not the 'good in school' AZN
but the 'express myself via art+fashion' AZN
the fortunate AZN
without dictatorial parents

Reincarnation as Minorities: Emerging HRO 2k9 Gimmick that is a mix of 'lite hearted, absurd, & offensive 2 ppl who dont 'get' HRO'?

Name That Alternative Celebrity LookAlike (Jew Bro)

[Photo by the street walker]
I noticed this bro on the streets and realized he looked A LOT like 1 of my fave alt celebs.  Is it just me, or does he totally look like _____________?


  • He has zany tattoos.
  • He is 'a designer bro.'
  • He has a collection of ghey sex slaves that he keeps in a basement. (not sure if he makes manginas out of their skin).
  • His lifestyle has inspired him 2 make clothes 4 progressive women
  • He is a creative 'thought leader', kinda like Harvey Milk.
  • He has a 'knack' for selecting relevant celebs to be the 'face of his line' between 1-5 years after they were buzzworthy.
  • He lost a lot of weight and got 'twinky buff' kinda like Brad Pitt in The Fight Clubs.

Who do yall think this bro looks like?

The person who correctly identifies the altceleb-lookalike will be given a $50 gift certificate to blogspot.

I need a break, yall.

I need a break, yall.
It's okay for me to take a break, because I am usually working. Having the opportunity to 'take a break' means that I am productive.
I have been in the studio all day. I need to decompress my mind--too much thinking. I will go outside. I will bitch about my demanding professor. I will go to a meaningful coffee shoppe. I will 'bum' a cigarette and forge a relationship with some1 based upon 'bumming ciggs' from 1 another.

[Photos by Lookbook]
I am outside. (torn pant knees)
I have branded myself with the building I am standing outside of. Much like it is pathetic 2 see a McDonalds employee standing outside of their franchise, it is intimidating 2 see me outside of my progressive office/progressive college of the Arts. I set my bag on the ground. I keep a close eye on it. I have valuable books ('idea' books with memes in them + a Macbook Pro) in my bag.

I take a break.
I look into the sky.
I feel the temperature.
The way I feel is
directly related to today's weather.
On some days, I throw down an iPod chill.
Today I read my Neon Bible.
Other days, it is quiet. I become one with The City.
The Sounds of The City
Is like music
or the sound of Television on the Radio
A Technological Societal Natural Paradoxical Metaphor
Is my life in the city
Busy--but on break.
This is my idle state
The city is a Meriweather Post Pavilion.

I have to go to a cafe to study/work
but it will be a relaxed environment
that will facilitate creativity
I will 'get shit done' but in a light-hearted way.

I need a break
2 get my mind off things
like the Justice song 'STRESS'
I am s0 stressed
about deadlines, tests, relationships, and emotions that I don't know how 2 describe.
This break will be a solid opportunity for me to collect my thoughts
and have some caffeine--I was up l8 last nite.
I might treat myself to a carb-heavy snack--I skipped breakfast
and possibly a smart snack--I need a potassium pick-me-up.

This break will be good for me
but I dread/anticipate
getting back 2 work.
I am me. Me does

For 2 weeks out of the year,
I need a vacay.
I will travel
It will be more than just a 'break.'
Because I will leave my standard setting
and broaden my horizons
by seeing
a completely different part of the world
where people
have a completely different way of life.
(One day we're going to live in Paris
I promise
I'm on it.)

I want to live in this world of yours.
Where you do things
differently than I do things
on a day to day basis
(riding vespas and healthier diets)
I have dreams
of living in & with U
But I am
trapped in suburbia

I need a break/change/paradigm shift/vacay.


As yall know, 70% of the world's most innovative/zany trends from from the Land of AZNS (Asia). Trends travel across the land bridge to California and Eastern Europe, eventually making their way to Middle America/mainstreamerdom within 3 years. Just wanted 2 take a look at what AZNs have been wearing & predict which trends will reach the Mexicalt population in 5 years.

Trend 1: Protect Urself From Dirty Air

As yall know, there is a lot of noise and air pollution in our world. AZNs have a lifespan that is 200% longer than white & black ppl's natural life--they take better care of themselves than we do [via only eating fish + noodles + rice]. The AZNs are beginning to mix fashion with health safety by wearing these protective masks. They also banned fastfood in Japan after seeing the hit mockumentary Super Size Me: Fast Food Nation.

Trend 2: Bangs Which Impair ur vision [via bowl cut]/critters around ur neck

I think that bangs which impair ur vision might be big in 2k9. Bangs are theoretically functional. They 'keep hair out of ur eyes' and help to 'frame ur face.' I think taking a little bit of that functionality away might help bangs stay around forever. AZNs 'get' where engineering, design, and personal branding come 2gether as one. In addition, AZNs will no longer use gigapets/Tamagachis in 2k9. They will have 'real' pets that they can wear. These real pets will be controllable through iPod Nanos.

Trend 3: AZNs who look like this //Where the Wild Things Are

I am not sure if I will still be attracted to women if they morph into neon creatures from the hit children's book 'Where the Wild Things Are.' Not sure if I support these AZNs and their zany personal brands. h8 neon azn beast glam rockers.

[Photos by StyleSightings]

But srsly yall... after we rebuilt Japan post-nuclear bomb WWII, should we have given it a new name?
Something like 'California Pt 2' or 'Broville' or 'Gizmodo' or 'TechCrunchville' or 'The Land of Gigapets' or 'Trend City USA'?

Trapped In Suburbia Bro + Fake Crystal Castles Fan Club T-shirt

[Photo via lookbook]
TrappedInSuburbiaBro has been named one of Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008. While other candidates like Barrack Obammy and Michael "Water Buffalo" Phelps are more famous than TrappedInSuburbia Bro, there are more tweens & teens on the planet who can relate to TrapedInSubBro. He represents an internal and external struggle 4 all moderately alternative ppl on our Earth.

Recently, TrappedBro created his own Crystal Castles Fan Club t-shirt, but in an effort to remain progressive, he let the world know that the t-shirt was 'fake.' The shirt is a think piece. What will HRO's Emerging Bro of the Year do next?

Previous TrappedBro Coverage


[Photo by Nicky Digital]
This picture is a picture that represents the power of branding. There is a common lifestyle brand called PUMA. One bro merges his personal brand with Puma by wearing their shoes. The other bro had a Puma logo tatted on the back of his neck. In order to strengthen your personal brand, you must be willing to take risks and make bold choices.

Should I get the Nike/AmAppy/HypeMachine/Sparks/PBR/Chili's logo tattooed on me?

Will 2009 be all about merging your personal brands with corporate lifestyle brands?

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