Saturday Night Live | Hipster Runoff

Saturday Night Live

Mainstream Couples Who People Pretend Are Alt

Remember when people were baffled by Natalie Portman and Devendra Barnhart being in a public relaish?

Do you think Natalie Porty makes Devendry re-enact scenes from Garden State/V For Vendetta/Star Wars?

I wonder how to classify Andy Samberg and Joanna Newsome.

Andy Samberg is generally a 'mainstream bro' who 'should have been alt' but 'looked too much like a bro' but still 'had zany ideas', so he built his own deceptive personal brand where every one thinks it is okay to think he is rlly funny since he knows how to use Adobe video editing software.

Now he is just a 'bro' who is 'too attached to his hair to ever cut it.'

While people sometimes try to spin that the new SNL is 'fresh' because of digital shorts that end up GOING VIRAL, I think we should all be concerned if there is an Andy Samberg era where every thing gets 'way too bro.' I think it sort of a visual/comedy version of the 'looks kute and sounds okay' theory.

I wonder what it's like to date Joanna Newsome since she has the singing voice of a spooky old woman from the year 1850.
Plus her fragile & calloused fingers probably can't tug u off on a regular basis. :-(

NEVER date a freak folker. I learned the hard way. :-(

Will SNL ever recapture the glory days?
Is it cool to admit that you watch SNL in the _______ era?
Who is ur fave cast member of all time?
Jay Mohr? Jim Bruer? Tim Meadows? Mike Myers? David Spade before he gained 50 lbs?
Is it cool to watch SNL clips on HULU, but not 'stay in' on Saturday to actually watch it?

Joanna Newsom

Alternative Celebrity

Joanna Newsom is some indie songstress who plays the harp and writes weirdo songs that some ppl say are 'amazing.'

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Rihanna exploits #seapunk genre in SNL performance, genre is now over.

#Seapunk is a genre that doesn't really have any music, it is just an 'aesthetic' that involves 1990s electronic vibes, Second Life and virtual reality graphics, and failed Microsoft Windows aesthetics. The 'movement' never really had a following, but it was just kinda funny that a musical genre existed only in the context of a Tumblr/Twitter hashtag. This 'visual aesthetic' may or may not be popular on the internet, which means it is 'kewl', which means that mnstrm 'artists' will exploit it and 'bastardize' 'what once was pure.'

#seapunk is probably dead now bc Rihanna took it to the lamestream with her SNL performance.

U can tell that the entire meme was memefied to appeal to meme lovers who meme-out to meme events on the internet that simulate IRL via the visual representation of #seapunk. U can see the colours, shapes, memes, dolphins, floating shit, and other memes that are all s00o0o seapunk. What a sad day 4 the #seapunk movement. Is it finally ovr?

Right now, #seapunkers every where are crying 3D tears into a portal of sadness, filling up a sea of swimming 3D dolphins who are swimming in a visual representation of outerspace.

'This culture used to belong to us. We made this. This was once ours. Now, the desire to resonate through social media and the content farm media architecture of today has made the game not what it used to be. #seapunk has reached its sad final act.' -excerpt from a '#seapunk is dead think piece'

I guess we just live in a time where #tweens run the world, and all they care abt is reblogging the 'kewl looking' visual aesthetics on Tumblr, saying "LOL. This looks kewl, yall!"

It is truly a sad day for #seapunk. The genre might never be the same.

What comes next after #seapunk?
Did Rihanna also 'dress like Crystal Castles'?
Will the mnstrmrs ever stop stealing 'our' culture?
Did this performance 'kill it'?
Was it 'trying 2 hard' 2 be like Conway West's SNL performance?

New York Times profiles seapunk genre. Has #seapunk arrived or is it just a dumb Tumblr hashtag?


Do u think she is sad abt this dead genre?



seapunk is as music genre, hashtag, trend, microgenre, Tumblr topic, and new aesthetic.

Lists: genres, trend
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Famous gay Frank Ocean tries to appeal to honkies by showing he is friends with John Mayer

Frank Ocean is famous for using his sexuality to 'get more buzz.' He basically said that one time he fooled around with another dude and fell in love, and then piggybacked that to the promise land, making every1 cover him like he was 'doing something new' even though plenty of artists have already come out in every genre. Anyways, I don't really 'get' his music, why it was so highly rated, and why any1 cares. They lyrics aren't even that #SWAG or #DEEP. They don't get me #HORNIE at all.

Anyways, he has this new strategy to get more (WHITE) fans: Bring John Mayer out on SNL and then have a music video where John Mayer comes out as himself. Frank Ocean just wants fathers to be good to their white daughters, because they grow into white mothers who buy CDs for their white ass honky children.

John Mayer plays guitar, and he's probably also making a solid, 'Hey, remember that time I was funny on the Chapelle's show? Black people love me!' vibe.

Does John Mayer look #SWAG or #OUT_OF_PLACE?

Frank Ocean also released this horrible video for 'Pyramids', which is too long, and then John Mayer shows up at the end like he is a close encounter of the HONKY ASS kind.

frank ocean [pyramids] from christopher francis ocean on Vimeo.

COOL! Ur friends with John Mayer? Sweet! On behalf of white people, we will officially accept you into the 'black people who we think are cool/won't steal our purses club' [via all white people being racist].

U gotta give him props for trying to get some more honkies to buy his albums. Retro video games, John Mayer in his backing band, wearing a headband... all things that are loved by honkies.

Do white people already <3 Frank Ocean?
Is John Mayer the ultimate honky magnet?
Should Frank Ocean collab with Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson, the ghost of Jeff Buckley, DMB, or Howie Day?
Did Frank Ocean 'KILL IT'?
Does he deserve buzz or is he overrated due to the SWAG MARKET BOOM of 2k12?
Did he 'exploit' his sexuality 4 buzz, or is all fair in buzz and war?
Will this help John Mayer get 2 bang more pussie?

HONKIE OVERLOAD: Why Kristen Wiig's SNL goodbye was the Peak of Modern Honkeyism

I am blinded by the glare of white skin, honkeys celebrating the honkeyness of a honky moment, the culmination of honkey culture for the past decade. This clip is the embodiment of the self-congratulatory culture that bridges the divide between television and the people who sit on the internet to overrate it. The clip contains A-list honky celebs, blog darlings who are the mouthpiece of modern high-end honkeyism. It is the beginning of an era. It is the end of an era.

The clip was intended to 'say goodbye to Kristen Wiig', the most notable SNL castmember who was basically 'a surprise for a year' because no other woman on SNL was actually funny, then she just replicated the same dumb skits and characters for the rest of her time. She wrote/starred in Bridesmaids, which wasn't even as funny as people say it was, they are just all about 'sucking the dick' of any 'deep Apatow produced comedy,' especially since this was his first notable one about 'bitches' instead of 'bros.' You gotta give her props for making Bridesmaids money, making a marginally funny movie that is overrated by females because most other movies for females are completely retarded. Now she gets to bang one of the dudes in The Strokes, and losers on Twitter/IRL will be all like 'SNL is NOT the same without Kristen.'

It is always interesting when a castmember of SNL 'graduates' to being a 'real movie/tv star.' Still not impressed by any new generation star. No way they can top Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, and/or Bobert Downey Jr. Even Rob Schneider [via 'The Animal'].

Here are some important players in this 'emotional, magical tv moment', and why they are so important honky ass figures in modern comedy/media/television/internet overrating mechanisms.

Andy Samberg -As far as I'm concerned, Andy Samberg ruined SNL. He did a decent job with high highs and low lows, but it's more about the way SNL will go now that he is gone, and they will try 'too hard' to have zany video humor. He is an innovator of bro comedy, but doesn't have the strong taste, voice, or desire to artfully make cultural commentary via humor. It is a celebration of himself and offbeat references. Remember when 'Lazy Sunday' was overshared and overvalued by honkies everywhere?

Jon Hamm - His participation in this honky circle jerk on ourselves was completely necessary, probably a 'tipping point.' The type of people who watch Mad Men are the same type of losers who still pretend that SNL is an important cultural voice that provides relevant commentary. I also h8 the Daily Show and Colbert, but I guess u have to give them props for 'stealing' some of SNL's marketshare on a nightly basis. Anyways, Jon Hamm is trying desperately to be George Clooney meets Alec Baldwin for a new generation, so I guess he is trapped hosting SNL once a year.

Hammbro isn't even a real person, just a white dude who every honkie wants to be hatefucked by.

Arcade Fire Win Butler and Regine Chassagne (And even the ginger bro) kept popping up all over this episode of SNL. I think they are just trying to be aggressive when it comes to appealing to high-end honky ass markets. They see SNL as this 'historic show', so they are doing everything they can to pander to the producers/cast/audience as this 'totally kewl band' that does untraditional stuff. They are really pushing into ridonk ass honky territory.

Amy Poehler- I feel really bad for Amy Poehler, because I'm not sure if she ever developed her own comedic voice, she sorta just 'gravy trained' off Tina Fey, and established herself as 'the poor man's Tina Fey.' She never really busted down a door to form her own career path. Basically just followed Tina Fey to Weekend Update, then 'stars' in a poor man's version of The Office meets 30 Rock, which people only started liking when they stopped focusing on Poehler as 'the main character' and went with the ensemble vibe that just allows every1 to be quirky without letting the viewer have to think about how terrible the show is.

Chris Kattan - He probably shouldn't belong because he is from the era of SNL that people enjoy pretending was 'bad', but they choose to overrate the Tina Fey + digital short era. Chris Kattan is arguably the best pound for pound SNL castmember of all time. He's not THAT honky.

Jason Sudeikis- I'm not sure why any one ever thought Jason Sudeikis was a relevant castmember. He was basically just 'white dude.' The only decent moment of his career was doing a Kenny Powers impression for a few episodes during Eastbound and Down: Season 3. Anyways, he is totally the embodiment of hollow honky humor that is placed on a pedestal by honkies who want to enable their perception of honky ass humor being s0o0o funnie.

Mick Jagger - I think honkies like to 'rock out' to the Rolling Stones, but it probably would have been honkier if they had utilized Paul McCartney, or even the ghost of John Lennon.

Forgettable Girls on SNL who never leave a mark and will be fired/replaced by another crop - Feel bad 4 these broads. They are all so desperate to implement their own brand of comedy on the show, but usually end up without a strong voice/'breakout hit sketch'. Then they 'try too hard' to be a team player, use too much energy in crappy sketches, and get fired before their standard 7 year contract is up.

Seth Myers - I remember Seth Myers used to be funny when he looked like a lost kid 'doing his thing' on SNL, sort of like Andy Samberg without the digital short gimmick. He was most likely to be an 'outside the box' cast member. Then he 'bought in' to the whole SNL thing and became head-writer, doing the self-congratulating move where you appoint yourself as the anchor of weekend update. I guess for some people, the 'Weekend Update' anchor position is sort of like the 'Tonight Show' seat, u overrate it to the point that it ruins your perspective on reality [via Conan/Letterman/Leno]. Now u just milk that position as 'SNL head writer' because the last decade of your life has been dominated by trying to 'win' the writer's room, so it is difficult to let go.

Rachel Dratch - U gotta feel sorry for that broad. I guess she just proves that u have to be 'marginally hot' in order to parlay your career into being more than just 'returning to SNL where people recognize u' every year or so.

The entity of Saturday Night LIve - I am not sure what SNL has even 'become.' I really think that the Tina Fey headwriter era ruined SNL, and it allowed Andy Samberg to 'control' the face of mainstream bro comedy. Now it's in this weird area where everything is 'trying to go viral' due to cultural context, instead of balancing timeliness with comedic innovation.

Important honkie human memes who were missing:
Jimmy Fallon, ?uestlove, Barry Obama, Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, cast of Breaking Bad/Game of Thrones, fat Betty Draper, Tavi Gevinson, overrated internet writer of the quarter, cameos by Toddlers and Tiaras girls..... who else?

Saturday Night Live is one of the most fascinating corporate environments in the world, a competition to 'win' SNL and then get your movies greenlit so you don't have to just have cameos in Adam Sandler movies/Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes.. This is a celebration of the people who 'belong in the club.'
This is modern honkidom.
Honkies love their honkie elite more than any one else.
These are the faces responsible for honkie culture.
Television, Music, Comedy, Streaming Videos on the Internet and assessing their historical worth.

Do u <3 or h8 SNL?
Is Kristen Wiig 'actually funny', 'overrated', or 'pretty funny but still overrated'?
Is Kristen Wiig funnier than Tina Fey?
Do all white people want Don Draper 2 hate fuck them?
Is SNL an important cultural voice?
Who is the pound-for-pound greatest SNL castmember of all time?
Is the most recent era of SNL overrated by the internet?
Does n e 1 watch SNL?
Is this the honkiest moment ever on TV that was overcelebrated by honkies on the internet?
Do u <3 or h8 the pressures of honkie culture?

Justin Timberlake straight 'makes a bitch outta' Bon Iver on SNL

Bon Iver won a Grammy, and gave one of the worst speeches all time in the history of in the history of indie and mainstream awards acceptance speeches. By 'trying to make a scene' on the Grammy stage, he marginalized his entire existence into a meme, which was then 'mocked' on SNL bc he is officially a part of mainstream culture as 'that crazy, boring guy from the woods.'</embed>

Justin Timberlake is 'desperately trying' 2 be an SNL-funny man, although he should be singing soft R&B songs for white girls 2 cream their panties over. Ever since he played that Napster guy in The Brocial Network, it is clear that he is obsessed with becoming a mnstrm
justin timberlake as bon iver justin vernon

Perhaps Timberlake is attempting to become an indie band, since he is participating in the art of 'Indie Pandering.' I'd expect this type of behavior between two indie bands on twitter, but creating a sign to overcompensate for 'making a bitch' outta him after he brought his snooze waves 2 the stage just a few week ago seemed like he was 'trying 2 hard.'
justin timberlake bon iver sign on SNL
Was this sketch 'effing boring'?
Why is no1 talking abt Beyonce's fake baby?
Are Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler the least funny, yet overhyped female castmembers of all time?
Did Justin Timberlake 'straight bitch' Justin Vernon?
Is Bon Iver 'riding high' after winning a Grammy?
Is Bon Iver part of the mainstream cultural lexicon zeitgeist?
Will they be forced to change their sound to adapt 2 mnstrm masses?
Will Justin Vernon get to 'upgrade' from collab-ing with James Blake level C-rate alt celebs, and now get to bronoodling with Kanye, JT, and Bruce Hornsby?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Did Sleigh Bells 'effing tank' LDR-style on SNL?

The best part abt the Lana Del Rey SNL TANKJOB is that it has us watching our beloved mainstream indie bands more closely than evr, pretending that we care if they disgrace 'the sacred SNL stage.' Sleigh Bells went on there, and I guess they were 'whatevr'. What's important 4 them is that Sexi Lexi Krauss LOOKS GOOD, bb, even if they make relatively inaudible noises. For some reason, they added another OTHER DUDE, when they probably should have added another Alexis Krauss, but maybe there can 'only be 1' diva per buzzband, or else u accidentally turn into an indie slave band, sorta like the Dirty Projectors. I wonder if OTHER OTHER dude had 2 sign a contract that said he would dress like other dude, but at the same time, not completely 'jack his steeze' to where his personal brand was marginalized.

Did Sexi Lexi Krass LOOK GOOD, bb?
sleigh bells saturday night live promo

After 2 albums, I don't even know it I 'get' Sleigh Bells. Is there 'beauty' somewhere in the breakdown, or is it all some sort of buzz pyramid scheme because they have successfully found a scheme to exploit in the Corrupt Indie Machine?

I wonder if American lamestreamers prefer the 'hard rock' duo Sleigh Bells, or the 'hip hoppity rap pop' stylings of Karmin, since they both look 'one of those relationship' bands.

I wonder if I should 'hang myself' in my effing closet while listening to Sleigh Bells or Karmin.


Does Karmin look like 'effing dunces'?

Should I start a boy-girl duo fronted by a keut female?
Should we be an indie hardcore band or a viral Youtube pop band?
If Alexis Krauss's career had gone perfectly, would she be fronting a Karmin-like band?
Can lamestreamers 'tell the difference' between Sleigh Bells and Karmin, or are they 'just the same', trapped in a buzz machine, trying to sell albums and make 'mad bank'?
Was she forced to 'settle' for Sleigh Bells, or did she ultimately find fulfillment thru mnstrm fame?
Do u <3 or h8 Sleigh Bells?
Do u <3 or h8 Karmin?
If u wanted to 'make it' on 2 the SNL stage, would u go 2 Berklee College of Music, start a youtube channel, or start an indie buzzband?

Alexis Krauss

Alternative Celebrity

Alexis Krauss is the lead singer of Sleigh Bells. She has a Virgin Mary Tattoo.

Lists: tattooed, QTs, bangs
Read more>>>>

Sleigh Bells


Sleigh Bells is a 2k10 buzzband that doesn't really make 'good' mp3s, but still gets a lot of buzz and sells a lot of albums.

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel shows off her BANGIN BIKINI BOD! Does she have the ultimate indie bod?

We finally did it.
We finally got the coveted 'Zooey Deschanel in a bikini' picture. It was featured during her Saturday Night Live hosting gig. Not sure what happened during the show, or whether or not it was funny. Right now, the entire buzzosphere is simply #hornie4zozo

ZoZo has it all, bb!

According to the Google Machine, previous Zooey Deschanel Bikini Pictures exist, but they look to be from 'before she had discovered her quirky alternative spirit.'

Maybe she was trying to be more of a 'mnstrmr' back then. Her alt / retro / quirky sex appeal wasn't fostered via the alt ppl yet.... But she does look BANGIN.

It is clear that she is an independent woman now that she is divorced from Ben Gibbard. This BANGIN BIKINI BOD photo HAD to be an 'EFF U! Look how SEXY I am' message that was sent to the Deathcab For Cutie frontman.

Tonight, we can finally tug in peace. We have the ZoZo BANGIN BIKINI BOD photo. #hornie4zozo

Here is some sketch from SNL that 'mocks' Zooey Deschanel's quirkiness with Michael Cera and Mary Kate Ashley Olson. Not sure if any1 even cares, especially because the BANGIN BIKINI PIC was all we rlly wanted.

Does ZoZo look good bb?
Do u <3 her bangin bikini bod?
Should she show off MORE skin in her bikini bod?
Did we finally get the most coveted BANGIN BIKINI BOD pic in the entire indiesphere?
Does ZoZo have it all?
zooey deschanel bikini body
Do u think Ben Gibbard threw his remote thru the TV as he 'hate watched' SNL with all of his BFFs?

M.I.A. is 'mocked' in boring, unfunny SNL sketch, confirms whole world thinks she is dumb.


M.I.A. is a Sri Lankan hip hop artist who accidentally got buzzed into the mainstream because one of her songs had gun shots in it. Since then, her entire career has been a series of memes, follies, and anti-American rants where she just talks abt how much she hates America, Capitalism, and #The_Government. After her MIDDLE FINGER at the Super Bowl, she became a meme that every1 'cared abt', except no1 actually cared about her, she was just a group of three letters in a blog headline.

Now SNL has 'mocked her', and it isn't really funnie, no1 cares who she is, and we are all stuck, slutshaming until we can shame no more. I sorta wish MIA was as 'hot' as this that comedienne broad, though.

Do u LOL @ M.I.A.?
Is this sketch FUNNIE, providing relevant cultural commentary?
Will MIA be banned from the SNL stage?
Does n e 1 even care abt MIA any more?
Will #LDRSNL always be the greatest indie meme of all time?
Is 'cultural commentary' 4 lamestreamers?


Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Kristen Wiig desperately tries to be alt by impersonating Lana Del Rey


Kristen Wiig is doing her best to break into the INDIE SCENE. First, she started dating [ALLEGEDLY] the drummer guy from the Strokes, Fabrizio Moretti [link]. Now she did some impersonation of Lana Del Rey. It wasn't really funny, and not worth watching because she is a one-trick pony who just plays the same female character over-and-over again. Just some skit that was probably written by an LDR apologist feminist comedy writer. Not sure if LDR even matters any more, or if her meme ship has sailed, so they probably should have just 'panned the eff out of her' instead of making it seem like they are on #TeamLana.

Anyways, Kristen Wiig is clearly trying to win over 'the indie-leaning blogosphere.' Next thing you know, she will have her own IFC original series [via Fred Armisen]. I have no idea why she is so obsessed with alt culture. I guess she didn't have a phase in her life where she ESSED the DEEs of random members of bands, so now she is 'catching up' at a later stage in her life.
kristen wiig fabrizio moretti together
She prob needs to leave SNL soon since she already has 'mad Bridesmaids bank' but she is probably addicted to the week-to-week buzz spotlight and watching herself do the same character over and over again that was fresh 4 years ago.

Having said that, I'd take Wiig over Tina Fey any day. Based both on looks AND comedy gimmickry.

Is Kristen Wiig 'obsessed with alt'?
Is she 'indie'?
Was this LDR impression 'good'/'relevant'?
Did SNL provide cutting edge cultural commentary on LDRgate?
Did u forget who LDR was?
Is LDR a pop culture legend, or just a meme?
Will Moretti take Wiig from Bridesmaids to bride?

Bon Iver sounds like dying indie rock on SNL, has mysterious HUGE black teenager in backing band

Bon Iver played on SNL, but no1 watched, and no1 really cared because he didn't tank like #LDR. I guess he is nominated for Grammys, or something, but that's only because the Grammys will now have '1 white man indie rock slot' per year in the post-Arcade-Fire era. I wouldn't even recommend watching these videos. Bon Iver just represents how 'the indie scene' is getting older and boring, and most blogs are 'stuck' posting this garbage because cool dads have to waste time during the day at their jobs that make them $50-90k/year. Roughly 5% of their annual income goes towards investment in 'culture', which includes purchasing music.</embed>

While no1 cares abt Bon Iver's performance, America is left wondering 'who is the black dude in Bon Iver'?

Perhaps Bon Iver is not an indie band, but instead, some sort of movie about a teacher who teaches a group of innercity kids about how indie rock can save them from 'the streets'. Sorta like a mix between 'Mr. Holland's Opus' and 'Stand and Deliver' and 'Coach Carter' and 'Dangerous Minds.'

Does n e 1 know if Bon Iver is 'just 1 person' or 'a whole band'? Maybe it is like the Dave Matthews Band where they all take 1 guy's name and then play honky jam chime rock?

Do u feel bad for any website that ranked Bon Iver in their 2k11 Top 10?
Is their music 'beautiful'?
Who is the black guy in Bon Iver?
Is he Bon Iver?
Do u wish that u were saved from ur innercity community with the power of indie rock?
Are we living in the post-LDR era of indie where some1 has to 'go out of their way to shock us' to get our attention or else we don't care even if it is a deece performance?
Did Bon Iver 'kill it', or did they just look like random ass dudes from the woods who 'made it to the big time'?
Do u ever cry at night and listen to 'Holocene'?
Is Justin Vernon a HOTTIE HUNK BB?
Are the sounds of Bon Iver the sounds of dying indie rock?

Here is their song "Midwestern Bed'N'Breakfast' or something.

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Lana Del Rey EFFING TANKS on SNL. Is her career 'effing over'?

Even the most entry-level buzz market analyst knew that Lana Del Rey would COMPLETELY tank on Saturday Night Live. It happened right before our eyes like a trainwreck, except that the train was carrying tons of port-a-potties, and then everything got covered in poo-poo and they had to shut down an entire small town because of the toxic smelliness of the poo fumes, and then every1 got on twitter to say 'OMG THERE'S SO MUCH POO AND IT SMELLS SO BAD! EWIE MCGOOEY!' What was supposed to be Lana Del Rey’s introduction to Middle America turned into a nightmare, with even the lamest of lamestreamers turning to their social media network of choice to say, “Who be dis bitch, yall? She can’t sing 4 shit.” This has already been the perception of many critics, blogspots, and content farms who resent her rise to internet fame.

Where were u when Lana Del Rey tanked on SNL? It's a moment we'll never forget.

Although 'Video Games' was the song that garnered the most per capita adjusted 4 inflation buzz, the song is a 'complete dud' live. She has had many opportunities to 'fix' her live show, which leaves us asking, begging, pleading, "Why Lana? Why?"

At least she looked good, bb!

There have been rumblings that the entire team associated with the current Lana Del Rey launch will be fired. Even at her first performance at Glasslands Gallery in Brooklyn where she was secretly billed as the Queen of Coney Island, she had a band that was intended to hide in the shadows [link]. There was already a disconnect between the universally projected image of LDR and her branded output. It never came together, and every1 must have been convinced that foreign press and TV appearances meant that 'everything was okay.'

This is LDR's fault.
This is not LDR's fault.

"Blue Jeans" was just good enough to be forgettable, but still sorta 'effing terrible.'

Lana Del Rey’s voice has been widely accepted as a gimmick, but her and her team never took the time to decide how it should be utilized when she was singing live. Obviously, she would have to turn down her wacky vocalisms, and learn how to gesticulate like that Florence + the Machine broad in order to make herself a viable product. Unfortunately, they just put her in a pretty dress, and figured every1 would all be like 'what a sweetheart, yall', but then they forgot that every1 just wants to h8 everything, especially when it looks like ur not trying, and u don't care.

Heads will be rolling this week on #TeamLDR....

What did u think of her performance?
Did LDR tank as hard as u thought she would?
How can Lana Del Rey save her career?
Is there too much negative buzz?
Was she 'not ready yet'?
Who is 2 blame?
Did we build her up just to 'tear her down'?
Did we 'buzz her up' just 2 'hate buzz her down'?
Is she indie's 'biggest failure of all time'?
Did she 'disgrace' the SNL stage/waste the time of Middle Americans?
Is she 'the Rebecca Black of indie'?

I guess Lana Del Rey was right... U and I... We were born 2 die...
lana del rey blood

Lana Del Rey shows off her belly button, tight abs in SNL teaser promo


Lana Del Rey is abt to perform on SNL with that lil Harry Potter guy. This is a commercial for the show where Lana Del Rey tries her hand at sketch comedy, telling some joke with Harry and the guy from Good Burger who has rebranded himself as a self-hating African American comic. It's only a matter of time before Lana Del Rey stars in a FunnyOrDie video. I have heard rumors that she will NOT participate in one of Andy Samberg's digital shorts because his current GF, Joanna Newsom, is incredibly jealous and resentful of Lana Del Rey's success and buzz in the indie world. Joanna Newsom's last album 'Have One On Me' tanked.

R u excited?
Was Lana funnie?
Does her belly button look AMAZING?

Is #LDR showing 'too much skin'?
Can she pull off SNL?
Will she 'effing tank'?
Is this the beginning of the end of the LDR buzz cycle?


LANA DEL REY: EXPOSED. B4 she was alt, she was a failed mnstrm artist without fake lips!

Indie harpist Joanna Newsom spotted canoodling with Andy Samberg at Portlandia premiere

Portlandia had a 'massive premiere party' because it is the most-watched show ever on IFC, so Fred Armisen has basically turned into 'the Jerry Seinfeld [via NBC]' of IFC. Anyways, there were basically just a bunch of 'alt comedians and comediennes who were trying to go mainstream there' aka 'SNL castmembers.' The only real indie highlight was a picture of indie harpist songstress Joanna Newsom 'canoodling' with her Jewish SNL funnyman BF Andy Samberg. I sorta wish I could know more abt them, or better yet, actually be one of them so I would know what it was like to be in a famous relaish. It seems more entertaining than a 'regular person' relaish where ur just bored, watch TV, then argue abt 'what'z 4 dinner'. :-(

U have 2 feel happie for Fred Armisen's success after her was dating that broad who played 'Bettie', the floozie who got preggers and gave away the baby on Mad Men because IRL she started riding Scientology waves. #TeamFred #TeamFarmisen

Do yall think they 'look happie' or will one of them jump ship soon 2 another relevant indie famous person?

There were more ppl at this partie.

Here is the guy from "All That!", which was a version of SNL for tweens, eventually leading him to star in the hit film "Good Burger."
keenan thompson

Kristen Wiig shows off her HOT BOD now that she is dating with that guy from the Strokes who d8s famous ppl.

U have to give Joanna Newsom credit for not 'going ZoZo' and doing everything she can to monetize her 'indie brand'. She's just a simple girl who likes playing the harp...

Here are some of the women from the SNL cast. They will probably all get mysteriously fired at the end of the season and replaced with equally forgettable comediennes.

Here are the non-famous SNL bros who will probably 'get canned' and end up playing a guy who gets mad at Larry David on an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in 5 years, and every1 will be like 'SNL totally didn't use _____ right!'

Do u wish u went to the Portlandia premiere?
Does it seem buzzworthy?
Would u rather be in a buzzband or be a buzz comedian?
Is Fred Armisen at the top of the alt world?
Was episode 1 of Portlandia 'mad funnie' or 'whatevz'?
Do u wish u could canoodle with some1 who was alt famous?
Will Joanna Newsom 'take' Andy Samberg's name when they get married?
Will he force her 2 sign a prenup?
Do u dream that 1 day u will be on SNL / Portlandia /

Fred Armisen

Alternative Celebrity, Actor

Fred Armisen is an alt comedian who is the star of IFC's "Portlandia."

Lists: comedians
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Joanna Newsom

Alternative Celebrity

Joanna Newsom is some indie songstress who plays the harp and writes weirdo songs that some ppl say are 'amazing.'

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Coldplay was AMAZING and NEON and MAGICAL on SNL!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Coldplay! Yall are AMAZING! Chris Martin honestly dances around like a FREE spirit. It reminds me of my Zumba classes, except my instructor is this mean skinny lady and one time i strained my ankle and fell over, dislocating it, and she went on with the session, and every1 stomped all over me like I was just another yoga matt.

I honestly love the new Coldplay album. They are truly at their zenith peaks. Their song 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' is honestly very true. Every time I cry, I just can't stop, and it is super duper sad. But then at the same time, my tears are not a waterfall compared to my heavy periods AND when I go #2 after going to Arby's. Honestly, I don't understand how something that tastes so good can go out so watery and acidy on the way out, but perhaps I have another worm embedded in my tummy.

Ugh. Gwenny Paltrow is a LUCKY WOMAN bc she gets to canoodle with Chris Martin, the #1 hottie rockstar in the world (except for Mark Foster).

Real men wear pink, bb!

I'm gonna get a Mylo Xyloto tattoo on my body when it stops expanding!

<3 u Chris Marty!

Keane who? #TeamColdy

Foster the People was AMAZE-BALLS on SNL! Totally KILLED IT! #pumpedupkixx

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Foster the PPL is a hot new indie band that THE WORLD is FINDING OUT ABOUT. The song "Pumped Up Kicks" is my #1 jam of ALL EFFING TIME of the year.

They were AMAZEBALLS on SNL. I love the part where they whistle and when they guy has the maracas AND the tambourine! He really knows how to jimmy jangle, bb!

Honestly, it was a surprise to see them on the TV because they are so indie. They had the opportunity to HEADLINE Saturday Night Live, which is the most honored opportunity in the ENTIRE music industry. It means you are COOL, IN, NOW, and what is HOT on radios all across America. I actually used to have a dream that I would one day become famous and host SNL. I am sad that I am too hefty to be famous, but now I have hope because of the heavy lady in 'Bridesmaids' becoming all famous. I know that if I stay true to myself and I am willing to let people laugh at my rolls of fat.

Mark Foster is a Hottie McHotHot! I would let him into my panties ANY day of the week! I would DEFANATELY get wetter and creamier than alfredo sauce at Olive Garden... and trust me, that is EXTRA creamie.

OMG he pointed at the camera. I honestly believe he was pointing at me.

They are TRUE SHOWMANS, ready to put on a show for their fans. They have DEFANATELY fostered me into their people. :-D

Needless to say, Foster the Ppl #KILLEDIT and were #AMAZEBALLS. They have CONQUERED the entire music scene, indie, AND top40 radio. Their song is gonna be around for a LONG TIME, and it is only a matter of time before Mark Foster is hosting Extra or Access Hollywood, just like Mark McGrath.

I love LOVE LOVE Foster the PPL. We just watched ROCKNROLL HISTORY. I'm already buying my tix to the rocknroll halloffame ceremony for 2020 when they are inducted.

Was Radiohead beyond forgettable on SNL? Does n e 1 still care abt them?

Radiohead went on Saturday Night Live. I am not sure why they did that. Their whole gimmick is 'being interesting', 'cutting edge', and 'controversial.' But I guess they haven't really done anything that innovative since they 'gave away their album for free.' They must be desperate 4 something, which is why they went on SNL, which is basically only watched by 'losers in dead end relationships who stay in everynight' while they stuff their faces with Whole Foods pastries and feel convinced that they are the most important cultural critics in the world.</embed>

At least we got to see Thom York jimmy jangle some maracas. Otherwise, a total snoozefest.

Really boring performances that didn't translate to TV at all. Sure, they are accomplished, but u can tell that their heads are so far up their own asses that there is no way they will ever make another album that isn't more than 'branded noises'. We're witnessing the death of what are supposed 2 be 'legends', but I could find 100 myspace bands who could poop out these noises in their sleep.

Did Radiohead 'tank' on SNL?
Is SNL 'funnie'?
Who still 'gives a damn' abt Radiohead?
Have they ever been 'edgy' or just conceptual jam band music for ppl 2 do drugs 2?
Does Radiohead have anything left in the tank, or should they hurry up and do a 10 year public breakup so that they can overcharge for their reunion tour?</embed>



Radiohead is a conceptual band that ppl like to think is kewl because u can do drugs and get deep 2 their music.

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Thom Yorke

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Thommy Yorke is the lead singer of the Radio heads. He dances around like a free spirit.

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Foo Fighters Rock N Rolled on Saturday Night Live! Dave Grohl is effing hot!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

The Foo Fighters EFFING RULE and I LOVELOVELOVELOVE their rock n roll music.

Here they are on SNL playing a COOL rock n roll song that is surely gonna be a chart topper... Last week Curt Kolbain died, and every1 was sad, but I feel like the Foo Fighters have made a BIGGER IMPACT on music than Nirvana ever would have. It reminds me of when my boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident, and he went into a coma, and I had to spread my wings and get my Microsoft Office certification without him to become the office assistant I am today. #Word #Excel

Dave Grohl is HOTTTT

U look good, bbs!

Kings of Leon who? #TeamFooFighters
Kurt Cobain who? #Team_Dave_Growl

Miley Cyrus does impression of Justin Bieber, yall!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Miley!!!!! Ur so talented...
U went on the Miley Cyrus show and made fun of Justin Bieber. LOL

U look just like him, bb!
U were amazing, and you did a great job on SNL!

BB ur monologue was so true and right


I wish madTV was still around so she could host that too #TeamMadTV
I thought that show was really funny but SNL usually just relies on poop jokes and lewd man jokes. Ugh. Maybe it's just because I am one of the few people on the planet who received a dick in a box from my ex on our anniversary just because he is a perv like that.

The Strokes bass player ruins the Strokes' collective brand by wearing a sleeveless shirt on SNL


The Strokes were on Saturday Night Live, and it was potentially good, but also potentially 'hella boring.' The only real shocking part of the performance was the decision of The Strokes bass player Nikolai Fraiture to wear a sleeveless shirt. I guess maybe he is just trying to ride summer-style chilwaves. Usually members of bands wear 'jackets' and other shit that 'makes them look kewl' on stage even when they are playing on TV because they are trying to just 'look how a band is supposed to look.'

Did Nikki ruin the Strokes collective personal brand, or did he take his own personal brand 2 such great heights?

Is Nikolai Fraiture the 'most alt' member of The Strokes?
Should Nikki 'go solo'?

Here is the other song they played called “Life Is Simple In The Moonlight” which seems 'okay', but still really couldn't take my eyes off Nikolai and his sleeveless shirt.


Are sleeveless shirts gonna be 'big' this summer?
Should I wear a sleeveless shirt to Coachella?
Are tanktops 'effing dead'?
Do u have a mancrush on Nikolai?
Did he 'ruin' The Strokes brand, or will his sleeveless shirt be the alt touch that 'saves' our perception of The Strokes progressiveness/kewlness?

Did the Strokes 'crush it' on SNL? Or were they 'whatever'?
can the Strokes replace the Kings of Leon as the #1 bro band in the USA?
Are sleeves on t-shirts gonna be 'so out' this summer? [via the slarf]

Laters yall. Gotta go buy a sleeveless shirt for Southby/Coachella/Bonnyroo/Lollypalooze/_____.

The Strokes


The Strokes may have been the first buzzband of the 21st century.

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Kanye West plays more boring songs on SNL, uses ‘smoke & mirrors’ 2 make ppl take him srsly


Saturday Night Live is a sketch show and they have musical guests that come and play. They usually have a stage with a boring ass band, but this time Kanye West was all like 'nah. gonna have a white background yall.'

Kanye West was on the TV, and he made it all different because he wants u 2 believe he is a 'real artist.' Sorta like the same 'BS' that Lady Gaga pulls, except he is a rapper, and she just rolls around on the stage humping the ground and letting her boobies pop out. Sooo over this whole modern artist pop icon gimmick. Like 'we get it, yall. ur more than just a singer... okay, kewl. Don't care. Lemme just listen 2 u on my iPod or something instead of having to hear boring people shape their identity around taking ur seriously as an artist.'

S000 annoyed, yall.
Was really hoping Kanye West was going to stay retired 4evr, but now he is back and every1 has to cream their pants over him.
Do yall think Kanye West peaked 5-10 years ago?

Here is some other dumb performance where he brings out a bunch of ballerinas or something. At the beginning he 'pretends he is playing a synth/sampler' 2 make himself seem more authentic.


Not sure why ppl are creaming their pants over this stuff.
Totes another boring rap performance
Smoke and mirrors
boring ppl saying Kanye is 'interesting'
and just because he is 'more interesting' than honky white dudes playing guitar, he gets 'mad cred'
Feel like he should at least try to be more like Will.I.Am or something.

Is all rap the same?
Is kanye ovrrtd as an 'artist'?
Do white people try to seem 'chill' with black culture by <3ing Kanye West and Jay-Z?
Did Kanye 'fix' Daft Punk [via strongers]?

Slutwave Legend Katy Perry goes on SNL just 2 shake her titties around.

Katy Perry has large breasts, and it is her social responsibility as a slutwave artist to make sure that every1 looks at her titties in floozy-ass costumes that are supposed to 'represent her music's brand.' She went on the popular talk show Saturday Night Live--Funnie Sketch Comedy 4 People Who Are Stuck at Home on a Saturday Night.

Honestly, just 'get a kick out of' posting her live performances, because it 'drives hits' because of her breasteses. Really couldn't pass up on the opportunity to post a tittie jiggling gif to drive mad click-thru rates.

Here she is 'performing' "California Gurlz", a song abt how girls from California will basically 'give any1 a BJ' and let them 'ejaculate' on/in any part of their body that u want.


Feel like she is trying hard 2 let ppl know that she is an 'authentic artist', with a strong, powerful voice, who is more than just a 'nice set of tits' with a backing track.

Here she is singing that 1 song by Beach House called "Teenage Dream" abt what it feels like 2 lose ur virginity when ur 13 / how u can get an authentic rush when ur hymen breaks.


Is Caitie Perry is an authentic artist?
Do u think her songs are 'brilliant'?
Did she showcase that she is a 'legit artist' / 'amazing singer'?
Is Katie Perry a relevant artist who will be remembered alongside Madonna, Feist, and Fionna Apples?

Just wish I could be the guitar bro in the backing band, having to wear some cheesy costumes.

Soo much charisma

"watch out russy brand!" -gossip blog developing a 'scoop'

R u hornie?

tittie shaking
poor lil elmo bro. just wanted 2 motorboat
erect peen

///RIDING SLUTWAVES///////////
////so jiggly////
////Man Overboard/////

does Katie Perrie have the perfect alternative breasts?

Did you see MGMT on SNL? Was it a snoozefest, or a transcendent performance?


I think Saturday Night Live is all about booking mainstream indie bands as their music guests. Sort of like the final step of the buzz process where you are branded as a 'kewl underground product' that even the laggards of American society will begin to think is 'super trendy.' MGMT was on Saturday Night Live and they played "Flash Delirium" and some song called "Brian Eno." It seemed like it might have been 'inaccessible' to mainstreamers who just want to watch the Kings of Leon / Nickelback / Ke$ha get their music on when they watch Saturday Night Live. Feel like maybe booking MGMT was a 'reach' for SNL to be 'trendy', like trying to appeal to the same blog viral buzz content consuming Americans who think Andy Samberg shorts are 'funny + cutting edge.'

Should MGMT have played "Kids" on Saturday Night Live?

Sorta feel like there is a zany bro in MGMT who 'stole the show' by making tons of zany faces at the camera. Maybe he was trying to 'upstage' Andrew VanWyngarden, preparing to go solo after MGMT 'dies' / 'goes on hiatus.'

Not sure if those are 'crazy coke eyes' or just regular eyes.

Did MGMT 'kill it' on Saturday Night Live? Do u like the conceptual jam at the end of this performance?


The crazy coke eyes bro also decided to get conceptual, and play his keyboard using his guitar.

I think they had the reality show star Precious host SNL. Not sure if she brought anything funny 2 the table.

Is MGMT continuing to 'kill it'?
Are MGMT memes drying up?
R u pissed that MGMT did not play KIDS on SNL?
Are MGMT the most authentic mainstream artists of all time?
How many albums will MGMT sell in week 2?
Is the latest MGMT album 'accessible' to mainstream audiences?

Hulu Embeds in case youtubes come down


Ke$ha performs on SNL, metaphorically poo poos all over the stage


Ke$ha performed on Saturday Night Live last night. Apparently she had the #1 single in America for a while, called "Tik Tok." The song is about living in Los Angeles and having a party lifestyle, so I think teens + tweens were into it, cuz she says that she brushes her teeth with a 'bottle of Jack' in the song. I think she really 'tanked' on stage. Like she should have just 'pooped' on stage, then rolled around in it for a while, and it would have been an identical consumer experience.

A lot of people call Ke$ha some sort of product that was meant to appeal to people as an after-market Lady Gaga product. Sort of like a touch pad phone that isn't an iPhone. I feel bad for her, like she has no identity. Must be hard to be a female musicians, since you can only be like 2-3 types of performers.

Not sure how I am supposed to feel about her vocals when she performs live. She seems to be a studio musician who relies on auto-tune rapping, so she probably ruins her brand whenever she performs live.

In her performance of "Your Love is My Drug", she painted her body with glow-in-the-dark paint, and made her entire backing band + dancers do the same. Probably looked 'hella tacky' on HD TV.


I wonder what it is like to be in the 'backing band' of an artist like Ke$ha. Even when her ideas suck, do u just have to 'run with them' or else you get fired? I feel like it might be the same as having an out-of-touch, tyrannical boss.

Is this the greatest performance in the history of SNL?
Should SNL stick with mainstream indie bands?
Is Ke$ha authentic?
Is Ke$ha 'better than Uffie'?
Is Ke$ha just a poor man's Lady Gaga?
Is Ke$ha sexy, or does she look exactly like John Travolta?

Hulu embeds in case vids come down

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