I have always wondered what it would be like to have a high-level alt job. Most days, I sit in my cubicle at my lamestream job in a business park, dreaming of what it would be like to have a COVETED job within the meaningful workspaces of one of the most important content farms ever created. I want to be able to be backstage in the VIP area of a relevant music-based event, and be able to say, "I write for Pitchfork. Ever heard of it?" Immediately, a hoard of PR agents and bloggers will do their best to 'get on my good side' because I am an influencer who can MAKE or BREAK their ultimately mediocre band's album. Girls will basically ess my dee, just based on my relevant alt job.
I feel happy to finally know what it looks like inside the walls of Pitchfork's Brooklyn offices.
Pitchfork.com was launched in 1996 by Ryan Schreiber when he had just graduated from high school and was working at a record store; these days, a rave review on the site can practically guarantee a band’s success. But while most would assume the atmosphere at the indie music bible is self-important and smug, it’s actually laid-back and celebratory. In 2005, the small company (made up of 30 employees in its Chicago and Brooklyn offices) curated its first music festival in Chicago and the following year branched out with its annual weekend-long Pitchfork Music Festival. Two years later, the company opened a Manhattan office, and a year after that came a second location—a two-floor loft in Greenpoint that’s just off the BQE. The casual vibe here is intentional, explains Schreiber, who sits among his local staff of about 15 . He favors “[constant] discussion about the music [everyone’s] into,” made easier with a massive, Pitchfork-exclusive server of unreleased tunes.
It seems like they are 'anti-cubicle' so that every1 has their own meaningful workspace. Every1 is vibing on laptops, no Dell desktop computers for these writers and content creators. U have 2 be able 2 create content ON-THE-GO.
Schreibro should definitely have a workstation 'in the back' so that every1 feels scared that he will see them wasting time on the net, and get back 2 work.
I need 2 work in a place where every1 listens 2 great music. My lamestream coworkers have THE RADIO playing all day on our city's worst rock and/or soft rock station. I h8 feeling like I'm at a dentist's office. I need an authentic vinyl-playing machine.
White boards are an authentic way 2 communicate and manage relevant projects. My company recently invested in multi-million dollar project & financial management software. If only they realized that we could get the majority of our work done 'within the cloud' using Google Docs, dropbox, and other web-based services that could really cut down on our overhead. At the end of the day, COMMUNICATION and ENGAGEMENT create a successful business.
The only person with dual monitors in my office is the guy who is programming our new Blackberry app.
Just want a place with kewl posters on the wall. I don't need 2 show off my irrelevant diploma/GED printed-out certificate.
The Pitchfork team occasionally hosts gigs and parties in its office, including two alcohol-brand-sponsored bashes shot for Pitchfork.tv last year featuring performances by Beach Fossils and Dom. “We clear out the space and kind of turn it into a venue,” says Schreiber.
I feel sad
My office space
could not be converted into a relevant venue
“It’s nice to have it not be completely quiet all the time,” says Fluck of Pitchfork’s chatty, play-tunes-at-your-desk atmosphere. “I’ve found that to be an eerie thing at other jobs, when you walk in and everyone [has] headphones [on].”
It seems like they still have a collection of relevant CDs from yesteryear within their offices, or maybe a relevant interior designer altered their zonespace bc digital tactile waste is 'hot' in the design-o-sphere [via mini-disc players]
This bro seems chill, like a bro who I could really stormbrain with, and bounce mad ideas off. I could truly be myself in our meetings, and we could forge the future of sponsored content, without compromising any of the brands involved.
This binder makes me sad bc it reminds me of my job. I want to work in a PDF-file based office.
It would be great to work for a relevant alternative media company one day. People on the internet reading my words. Watching my content. Being INFLUENCED by the influencer that is me. I could send my parents links to my content, and they can finally feel justified in my decision to major in English instead of Business. Pitchfork looks like heaven, and I dream of the day when I can change my 'employment info' on Facebook 2 state that I work somewhere relevant. Ppl will ask me what I do, and my response will cover topics including content creation, writing, video-scaping, brand management, advertiser relations mgmt, and VIP area quality control.
One day I will land my alt dream job.
I am smart, creative, and I have a passion for the arts AND the alts.
This is not just 'a job', this is my lifestyle.
What is the most alt company 2 work 4?
Does p4k seem like a chill place 2 work, or is Ryan Schreiber the slave driver of content farmers?
Do u dig their 'space' or should they do more to make their employees 'feel trapped' in their jobs?
What is ur workspace like?
What is ur alt dream job?
I was taking my daily 'stroll around the alt internet scene', and I noticed that Pitchforkmagazine.com had reviewed one of the latest albums by the popular mnstrm icon 'Lady Gaga.' I didn't read the review, but noticed that she got a 7.8. In the past, I think that score was what they gave to a 'buzzband who yall need 2 watch out 4 in the future.'
I feel confused. I always thought that pitchfork was an indie music site, but Lady Gaga is 0% indie. Maybe I am supposed to 'appreciate her' since her gimmick is artistic or something. Maybe Pitchfork is no longer an 'indie site' since they get mad hits, so they have to cover this type of stuff 4 'search engine optimization' purposes. Seems like p4k might be 'going mainstream', trying to get some emerging tween hits, or something.
Feel overwhelmed by GaGa mania. I think she really appeals 2 middle america, though. Like she represents something 'zany' and 'glamorous' that helps ppl disconnect from their real lives', and gives them an absurd image to lose themselves in. Wonder if she will evolve into an 'icon', or if people will just 'lose interest' and she will just become another fallen star who performs in gay bars full of audacious homosexers who 'adore' her. I think Lady Gaga's best career move might be staging a suicide/murder/drug overdose, which will preserve her legacy. Afraid that she will have some sort of cheesy 'unplugged' era where she has dark hair, and plays songs that sound like Feist/Regina Spekty.
Still can't believe she got a 7.8. I would 'give my right arm' for my buzzband to get a Pitchfork 7.8.
Maybe Pitchfork should alter their rating system in the 2k10s. Possibly expanding the range from 0 to 11. Truly great albums in the 2k10s will sound nothing like great albums from any time before. I feel like they would generate a lot of buzz by doing this, especially if they called in the 'AnCo rule.' Really would be an effective way of communicating the quality + relevancy of an album.
Previous Lady Gaga coverage
Previous Pitchfork Ratings coverage
I was recently on the youtube, and I happened to stumble upon a 'very controversial' video which may change the way we evaluate and read music websites for the rest of time.
You might have heard of 'Bradford Cox', the lead singers of the Atlas Sound Band and The Deerhunter (band), one of the most successful indie bands of 2k10. You also might have heard of Ryan "Pitchfork" Schreiber--CEO and Editor of pitchforksmedia.com, recently named by Time Magazine to be the Most Important Alternative Man Alive due to his significant impact on indie culture which will be eventually be adopted by mnstrmrs. I recently saw these two humans entertaining a room full of people while jamming on the piano, cultivating some sort of 'singalong' chilling at some sort of 'piano bar.'
They are singing the song 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun.'
I was initially shocked, because one of these bros is a media mogul, and the other one is an independent artist who is dependent upon media blogsites to cover his music to 'get the word out' about his musical endeavors + products. It seems like these two entities should not be 'bro-like' since they have competing interests. According to my perception of reality, there is a formal relationship which media and performers must always maintain and honor in order to keep the scene 'pure.'
Not even sure if 'music journalism' even exists on the internet, or if it is just a bunch of men 'recommending shit' to consumers. Blogs might be a better long-term business model within the attention economy, leading tons of blogbros to 'get egos' since they think they are 'gatekeepers of the scene.' But I think a pure musical artist probably has a more fulfilling life, since he/she gets to experience the instantaneous feedback of a 'live crowd' as opposed to checking webstats and reading anonymous web comments.
It seems 'unfair' that an indie band can have an 'inside track' [via friendship] to today's most relevant tastemakers and content providers. Sorta wish some1 could get me some sort of finite numbers on how 'influential' blogsites are in terms of generating sales + buzz marketing. Sometimes bands and publications can create 'beautiful synergy' if a the band creates a product that is 'good enough' to be 'praised' and universally accepted...but sorta scared that person2person relationships might be influencing the way music is accepted/panned.
Wonder if you can even 'break thru' on to relevant tastemaking sites if you're not 'in bed' with them. This is kinda how it felt when I wasn't accepted to an Ivy League School since I didn't have any bloodline linking me to the school and I didn't have minority blood in me, so I had to settle for design school. It is as if you can 'become authentic bros' with a website that recommends 'kewl shit', then they will eternally recommend ur art, even if you aren't relevant any more.
This seems like a huge scandal.
Like finding out the CEO of Rolling Stone is bros with Lady Gaga.
Or that the CEO of hypemachines is in a band that is 'trying 2 make it' in the indie scene.
This would be like the CEO of HRO being bros with the CEO of Am Appy.
This would be like finding out that youtube sensation 'FRED' was the nephew of the youtube CTO.
Like finding out Ben Gibbard is 'in bed' with Zooey Deschanel.
Like finding out that Ashton Kutcher has a bro-ship with the CEO of twitter.
For all we know, Paul McCartney 'chilled hard' with the Pitchfork staff to 'get this rating.'
Or that the band Interpol sent over an Edible Arrangement.
Wonder if this band only got a 0.2 because they weren't bro enough with blog sites to get I.R.L. cred which could carry over to web-perception cred.
Feeling uncomfortable, like this huge scandal is 'unraveling my entire life/sense of right+wrong' in our universe. Wonder if many of the Greatest Indie Bands of all time sent 'gift baskets' to magazines and blogsites, attempting to get as much coverage, buzz, and praise as possible. Just wondering 'who is in bed with who', sort of like how Barry Obama is attempting to 'get in bed' with every1 possible. Wishing that Pitchfork could make 'indie idol', a new reality show attempting to find out who the next bloggable indie buzzband is. Not sure who I can trust any more.
The piano singalongparty seemed like a 'fun time' for every1 involved. Feeling sad that I am just 'an internet website', and I can't interact with the bands. I have heard that blogging/journalism is sort of a 'coping mechanism' for failed creative types. Seems like if my blog gets big, I can perhaps one day 'canoodle' with tons of alt celebs within my industry.
Feels like deep inside of me, I wish I could have been at this event, enjoying it, embracing the moment. Not caring that it was going to be an alternative news meme. I would actually be chilling with my bros--the people who truly understood me, my lifestyle, and my interests. A group of core bros who were just as 'in the moment' as I was, without thinking about any other underlying 'interests' that required a promotion platform. Wish I could have existed within this moment--not as the CEO of a site that makes mad advertising dollars, or as a respected creative musician--but as a human. A human connecting with other humans.
Feel like I might never be bros with an indie music superstar, since I don't 'respect music/art' enough, and my blogsite might be 'too poisonous' for an indie celeb who is in touch with 'the arts/humanity' to ever want 2 like me as a blog.
Maybe I am reading into this scandal all wrong. Maybe they are just building a new concert model, built around 'piano bars', where people can huddle around the musician, and singalong.
Srsly feel like Piano Bars might be the alt new place to see a 'show.'
Photo/meme hijack via DailySwarm
Piano bars look like a 'fun time' according to this painting, like you can really connect with the performer and other concertgoers on a micro-basis.
Maybe if I add more micro-connections, my life will have more macro-meaning.
Sometimes I wish digital cameras didn't exist, so that moments could just be moments, instead of moments that u re-live onDemand. h8 youtube + hi speed internet.
Should I invest in a piano bar instead of opening a 'sweet ass nite club'?
Do u think that indiegates happen everyday?
Will INDIEGATE add 0.5-2.3 points to the Atlas Sound album review?
Who can u trust in the bloggisphare?
Have u ever had an Edible Arrangement or other creative gift basket, and how did it make you feel about the person who gave it to u?
Please define the guidelines for a blogger-to-meme relationship.
Should a 'content provider' really get to know a meme on a personal basis?
All of my life, I have been told that the Beatles are the best band ever. They have created the best music in the history of the world. It was always hard for me to evaluate music when a Pitchfork review of the artist/album/mp3 didn't exist. I feel as if the 0 to 10 numeric score really gave you a 'jumping point' from which u could open ur mind and truly appreciate/shit upon an album/band.
My perception of the world finally makes sense. Like I finally 'get' music history since I can compare the Beatles to modern indie hits.
Since I have never heard the Beatles' music, this is a huge relief. Now I have the opportunity to 'accept them in2 my life' since I know how 2 judge them appropriately.
Can't believe 'Yellow Submarine' was a mediocre bust, sort of like a lackluster Of Montreal album or something.
I feel better about 2k9, like I know where the 'best' albums of the year stand [via in a historical context].
I finally know that 'Let it Be'
is slightly worse that AnCo
but slightly better than
'Everything in itz rite place.' - the Radioheads singing a song about the world making sense
Just searching 4 perfection.
Not all albums were created equally
it is our duty as 'die hard music fans'
who are the most 'culturally connected' ppl in the world
to find out which albums are better than others
and create a forum for like-minded people to rally around them
enjoying them for what they are
but mainly preserving them so that they don't get 'too mainstream.'
My concept of musical history makes more sense now.
My concept of the world makes more sense now.
I feel like I am now able to have an educated conversation with my parents about the Beatles.
Tonight, I will finally experience the Beatles when I start to play 'Beatles Rock Band.' Hearing them for the first time will be amazing, but I hope that I am not 'let down' since there are such high expectations [via perfect 10 p4k ratings].
My mind is free
I am a music critic
I honestly believe that my 'taste in music' is a direct reflection of the 'best music' in the world.
This is a post about welcoming the Beatles to my iTunes library 4 official judgment.
My bros left me behind and went on a journey to a meaningful music festival in Tennessee. Bonnaroo is somewhat authentic, but also somewhat 'jam band bro.' I feel left out. Not just because of the destination of a 'sweet ass music festival', but because of what I will miss along the way. Kinda weird how a lot of people think about life as a destination, even though it is a journey, and sometimes u need to appreciate the road along the way.
Feel like the Pitchforkmobile must be 'the most authentic RV in the world.' Probably listening to a very progressive/ambient playlist, trying to get a signal to tweet [via iPhone], and talking about 'who r u pumped 2 see live.' Possibly thinking about 'who they feel like hyping'/'putting on their shit list.'
Feeling left out. Feel like I deserve to be in there, chilling, being myself. Going on a journey. Bonding. Connecting. Discussing. Understanding. Agreeing. Disagreeing. Broing.
HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS: UNTOLD PERSONAL STORIES
When I was a younger bro, growing up, one of my bros and I made a website called www.geocities.com/PitchforkinYall. It started out as a place to post pictures of bands + my favourite song lyrics, but eventually evolved into one of the leading music criticism and news 'webzines' on the internet. Unfortunately, before the website rebranded itself and started making $10 million per year, I was kicked off the editorial team for being 'too controversial' and 'too artsy.' I feel somewhat responsible for the site's success and initial direction, but have seen no compensation since they changed the password on our community hotmail account.
I'm not angry that I was kicked off team p4k, and I'm not bitter that they tried to hire me as 'an unpaid news intern' in mid-2008--I'm sad that I didn't get to share special moments with my bros. I didn't get to feel the excitement when we got our 1millionth hit, or when we got press passes to our first music festival, or when we planned our first music festival, or when we scammed our first advertiser into believing that our site was 'actually worth' what they paid, or even when we just got our first Am Appy ad. I don't really care about things like money/material things, I just want to know that I am living each moment to the fullest and have food + shelter + macbook + 3G wireless network capable phone. Wish I could have been there on the journey towards the top.
Feeling sad. The bros I never had. Feeling sad. Wish I could be in that RV.
All I ever wanted 2 do
was start a website with my bros
turn it into a viable business
and build a meaningful brand
Not asking for much
but just trying to 'live off the land'
then spend the rest of our lives'
managing our brand
protecting it, strengthening it
protecting 1 another
and strengthening our bonds 2gether
U need 2 learn 2 appreciate 'the journey', no matter what life throws ur way.
Yall. I was reading some blogs that still think Time Magazine is 'important', and that their 'list of 100 important people' is important/relevant. From what I understand, the guy who designed the popular Search Engine and Music Blogging Service 'Pitchfork Media' was awarded a slot.
I think the Pitchfork bro's anonymous blogger name is 'Ryan Schreiber.' From what I understand about Pitchfork, there is actually a staff of writers who write under the name Ryan_Schreiber. So I think it's kinda unfair that he gets to be this 'important person' when it's actually a lot of ghost bloggers writing 4 him. Don't think that's what journalism is all about, yall.
None the less, his formula has worked. Can't believe P4k was started in 1995. I wasn't even born then. Shit. Does this mean I need 2 keep posting on my MP3 blog for 10+ years and I will be guaranteed 2 be 'as big and relevant' as pitchfork.blogspot.com?
Kinda jealous of him. Need to feel more 'relevant.'
i think it's kinda weird how u can 'rate' him. Think it might be some sort of metaphorical panopticon pyramid scheme when it comes to Pitchfork Ratings. Like 4 all of these years, he assigns buzzbands numbers, but now we get 2 assign him a number. Makes u realize that u can't rate everything cuz every1 is different.
Also kinda weird how this anonymous blogger got to become so relevant, and now basically controls 'reality' according 2 independent-ish musicians and altbros. I guess that's how it has always worked, except now the Pitchfork Blog Site has replaced 'stupid magazines that u can't click on cuz they are printed on paper.'
Kinda wish I had started 4chan so that I could become very influential on the internet. Feel like I am trapped in the long tail, yall. Need 2 do more to 'set myself apart' and 'build a community of followers' who 'identify with my brand.'
confused. I think if u look at the top people, u realize that the only people who are important are meme-driven politicians, people who have shows on TV that Baby Boomers+GenXers watch, and people who have 'relevant internet websites.' Need 2 build an 'internet community' that 'supports me' kinda like 'tween girls who read Twilight' or something.
Sad that Time's Person of the Year isn't going to be 'me'/'YOU' again. Sad that they had to focus on 'real famous people who do important stuff' again and they couldn't highlight the state of our modern society and our reliance on the internet 2 express ourselves.
Who do yall nominate 4 HRO's Person of the Year?
Who should win Person of the Year for 2k9?
Do yall think people who 'support Obama' for these 'awards' are ass holes?
Starting 2 realize that Ryan_Schreiber might be the most relevant alternative celebrity of all time.
'Just trying 2 sell magazines so that we don't go out of business.'
-Magazine Editors Creating Gimmicks and selecting Hot Sluts 2 b on their Mag Covers
I have really been enjoying the rebranding of Pitchfork Media. I used 2 h8 them for 'being ghey' and other arguments like that, but now I think I can really identify with them. Glad that they got 'a new tone' that appeals to the snarky demographic/the 'too cultured and above mainstream bullshit demographic.' Hope p4k is paying these bros at least $15 /hr, or $100/review, or $30/meme.
Glad that they decided 2 review the latest AnCo album [via Vlog] instead of the traditional review. Happie that they invested in p4k.tv. Feel closer 2 them. Feel like they are making social media that matches my attention span + mental capacity.
Do yall agree with the vlog review, or are they 'teens having 2 much fun with a Macbook'?
What's the difference between a 'tween' and a 'teen'?
Whose opinion is more authentic: a fan, a tween, a teen, a music writer, a music blogger, a vlogger, a magazine critic, or God's?
"What is the future of music journalism?" - the Hipster Runoffs, 2k8
Yall. I was reading at the Pitchforks that they made a mega list of the 500 most relevant songs since music started being relevant 2 alternative subcultures. I know sometimes it is hard 2 read p4k, but I thought that I would re-interpret pages of their book/website The Pitchfork 500.
Here is the original page, describing the masterpiece "Bros" by Panda Bear.
Here is the Carlesfork 500 version
XX BONUS OLD PANDA BEAR MEME XX
///Just trying 2 re-interpret the world in a way that every1 can relate 2.
Does n e 1 know if this album is ever going 2 come out?
I downloaded the leak, but it wasn't as good as Here Comes the Indian and/or Sung Tongs.
////Post-Meaningful Quote of the Day ///////
Can you imagine if the entire Grammy telecast ends with M.I.A., Diplo, and Switch up there at the podium? How cool would that be?
-the Pitchforks getting excited about M.I.A. being nominated 4 a Grammy 4 'Record of the Year'
Today's MEANINGFUL QUOTE OF THE DAY represents the spirit of 'feeling proud' of your alternative taste in art and media. U usually decide to like alternative music/film/art bc it makes u different. U have an emotional investment in the success of the artist, because U WERE THERE FROM THE BEGINNING. When the artist gets mainstream recognition, there is a bittersweet feeling inside of u. Ur proud, but u kinda feel betrayed. Some simple people decide 2 just 'h8 the artist 4 selling out.' Other simple people say to themselves 'I'm glad that good art is reaching the masses.
How did u feel when ______ won an Oscar/Grammy/Gummy/Bloggy/American Music Award/MTV Music Video Award/MTV Movie Award/VH1 Divas Lifetime Achievement award?
Were u proud of ______?
'I hope Feist wins a grammy'
-my iPod that doesn't charge n e m0re
but srsly... wonder who will win the Biggest FGGT band of the year Grammy
a) the coldplays
b) Kanye West
c) the Nickelback men
d) David Cook
e) Simon Cowell
f) Linkin Parking
g) Dashboard Confessional
Yall, I just watched this series on IFC.com about 'the future of the music industry.' They talked about a lot about the future, and answered a lot of important questions that keep me awake at night.
Will we ever find out what 'indie' means?
Are blogs bad 4 music?
Are bloggers dummies?
Are traditional music journalists going to be executed in public?
Will Pitchfork purchase the Hype Machine?
Is the Hype Machine the only authentic 'music service' on the internet?
Did the Hype Machine create a terrible place for artists to lose money, and crappy bloggers to get more hits than they deserve per day?
Do artists deserve 2 make money?
Are bands just memes?
Is the guy who made Pitchfork more of an altBro, a cool dad, an AuthenticAlt (altPro), or a mainstreamer capitalizing off alts, or just 'a guy who likes music a lot'?
Do people want a music service like 'muxtapey' or are they satisfied with myspace music?
Should the government deregulate the music industry kinda like the airline industry?
When will we get tired of remixes and take artists seriously if they 'think remixes are bad for their product'?
I know all of yall read a lot of music blogs, so u like feeling important when people talk about u being on the cutting edge of culture.
/////THE FUTURE OF MUSIC JOURNALISM//////
Music blogs are okay, but at this point, they aren't terribly important on their own. The Hype Machine is important. However, each individual crappy blog isn't THAT important, unless they have been blogging for 2+ years, then you can make a case. I think the point of 'ur personal mp3 blog' is to create an authentic content stream without any sort of outside influence.
All bloggers get the same emails from the same marketing companies who are getting paid to let me know about krappy new indie bands. I think the difficult part about 'creating a good blog' is a blogger being able to ask himself 'Do I REALLY care about this band/newsbit/mp3 or do I feel pressure to blog about it because I think it's what people want to hear about?'
You can call this theory the 'Popular Artists on HypeMachine' theory. When entry level bloggers see that 'a lot of people are downloading radiohead', they think that their blog becomes a more valuable resource if they reBlog a popular song to increase their traffic. At the same time, entry level alts see that Radiohead is #1 and feel like 'I am supposed to appreciate this band/music because a lot of other people are appreciating it.' Is Radiohead GENUINELY buzzworthy, or is it just too many content sources caught in a cycle of 'letting people know about news that they thought they were supposed to know about but didn't know why.'
While I think blogging about 'what you think uninteresting people need to hear about' is good for news source type blogs, I think the best blogs for 'pure tastemaking' are just 'authentic content streams' that people can cultivate their personality from [via MP3s]. There is a traffic ceiling for these types of blogs 'but at least u get 2 b respected/perceived as authentic.'
Another issue is that 'mp3 blogs' turn into mp3 blogs because they derive their value from 'posting mp3s.' This doesn't always make your blog more valuable. It usually just makes the hypemachine more valuable. If u really 'care about music', I think more bloggers should focus on creating 'music blogs' instead of 'mp3 blogs.' Does n e 1 else hate those crappy blogs that post a video/picture and only an mp3? I guess I'm just a [HIGHLY SKILLED] blurber, so maybe I should try 2 b a little bit more compassionate.
I also wonder what my blogging goals should be? How authentic can HRO be? Should I just try to drive traffic and report news even if 'it's not that interesting'/capitalizing on the demographic of 'people who feel like they are supposed to know about stuff like Kanye being arrested.'
Yall! Blogs are gonna die after they invent _________.
I read on a tech blog that Hypemachine is gonna start aggregating MP3s from my local radio station, since they started playing indie music like "Paper Planes."
Watch more panels with important people in the altMusic Industry (various cool Dads)
Topics include "Entrepreneurial Sites" (like the hypemachine & muxtapey), "The Music Video bein' killed by websites/TV", and answering the question "What is Indie Music?"
I love seeing Gaspy and Xavy bein' a little bit sillie for once. While I like thinking of them as rockNrollers with 'attitude' who 'make bangers (not mash),' it's good to see that they are embracing their power animals.
Gaspy & the Justices on myspace
But SRSLY yall, I learned a lot from the Busy P interview on P4K. There was a lot of name dropping, banger-referencing, and tales from a meaningful+fun youth. Here are some of my fave parts:
********WTF IS BLOG HOUSE?*******
Pitchfork: Do you think the term "nu rave" describes the music that acts like Justice, Digitalism, or Boys Noize produce well?
Busy Pedro: I think nu rave is already over. One term I really like to describe this kind of music is "hooligan disco." A guy from French label Institubes came up with that name, and I think it fits perfectly.
****OMG I WANT HIS ALT-CELEB LIFE S0 BAD*****
Pitchfork: You're a DJ, producer, and manager in addition to running a successful record label. Do you always know what to do first when you get in the office in the morning?
Pedro Winter: One the one hand, I have a pretty normal office day. I get to work at 10 in the morning and leave at eight or nine. I first check emails and communicate with our artists by iChat. Then I go for meetings at Because Music, which is a licensing partner for Justice.
On the other hand, my job at the moment is a bit similar to that of a taxi driver because I don't know what will happen-- there are always surprises. The other day Rick Rubin calls to say that he likes our music. Then I had to explain to Madonna why Justice doesn't want to support her on tour. It's crazy.
****NVR 4GET 'WE R UR FRIENDS' ******
Pitchfork: Did Justice's success surprise you?
Peddy Winter: Of course! We sold 250,000 albums worldwide, almost 100,000 in France alone. There's no other electronic dance act selling like that at the moment. It's crazy. It's incredible. We sold more copies of the Justice album in France than of the last Daft Punk album. This is just crazy. And I just met them at a raclette dinner that [Ed Banger's graphic designer] So-Me invited me to. I was the oldest one at the dinner, and they later told me that they were a bit impressed that I was there. At the end of the evening they asked me if they could play me a track, which was "We Are Your Friends". I took the track, told them to come to my office the next day, and signed a contract with them. That night I had a party at the Le Pulp club in Paris. I played the track, and the club went crazy. I knew I had something special. For me this record is a generational anthem, and I think it will be something that the kids of today will still like to remember when they are 30 years old.
Note: This song will be played at my funeral.
***When did u discover myspace?***
"I discovered MySpace in 2005, maybe a little bit before it blew up. "
NOTE: I DID NOT MAKE THAT UP. Is being on myspace before it blew up kind of like 'knowing about the Arcade Fire when they had under 10K myspace pageviews'?
I tried to go the thepitchforksmedia.com today, and it didn't work. :-(
WTF. Where will I find new music? Where will I read reviews of my favourite bands? What if I forget how to rate things on scales that range from 1 to 10? What if I want to jerk off to alt music videos in HD?
It sucks sometimes how so much of our lives' are stored on these machines. What if they go away? What if gas prices get so high that we can't run our computers any more? How will we formulate opinions or friendships without the internet? :-(
Would 'getting buzzed & going out with friends' be as fun if we couldn't share in the experience the next day when u have been tagged in 17 photos?
Sites that I couldn't live without:
- [party pic site that my friends and I chill on]
- [party pic site that I jerk off to]
- vimeo cuz I made a lot of vlogs
- blogs about random stuff like cats that talk funnie
- blogs about interesting cultural stuff
- the hipster runoffs
- sites that have 'u might be a redneck if' jokes
- youtube cuz I watch random stuff from my childhood a lot
- Justice's website/their personal myspaces
What website couldn't U live without?
Please note: I haven't listened to the CD. Please stop reading now if you are interested in reading a qualified opinion.
Sure the CD is probably less than mediocre, obvious, forced, and gimmicky, and I'd rather download a free mix off the internet, but it's tough to get over the fact that Pitchfork used the review as an opportunity to deliver an an angsty middle-aged rant against the whole electro scene.
Let's get past feeling OUTRAGED about such a low Pitchfork Rating, since I think that's more of a formula of
[(LABEL x Hometown)^2 +/- previous album's standards + Obscurity Factor x Perceived Authenticity]= Pitchfork Rating
The Pillowface Review a rant that wasn't only meant to dis the artistic integrity of Steve Aoki, but also YOU. This is about you, the reader of music/mp3 blogs. This is about your best friend, the guy who downloads Popular Tracks at the Hype Machine every 3 days. This is about the 15 year old in Australia who you've never met, who started a music blog with the dream of getting on to the Hype Machine (he lost interest after 10 posts). This is about every single one of Steve Aoki's ex-business partners that he parted with on bad terms. This is about your ex-GirlFriend who got a DSLR for her 21st birthday, and planned to start a party pics website. This is about every blog who ever posted "D.A.N.C.E.", no matter what the self-aware blurb that justified why they are posting it was. This is about every French person who ever made a Tecktonic video. This is abou a 13 year old in Wisconsin who will wear American Apparel for the first time in 2008, and for the first time, she'll feel like she's worth something. This is about a 20 year old in his dorm room at a university in Oklahoma who has dreams of becoming the next big electro act since he just got a Mac, downloaded Ableton, and learned how to make GIFs for his myspace user pic. This is about the GorillaVsBearses, the PandaToesers, the DiscoDusts, and even all of the crappy blogs that just write reviews of the same stuff that Pitchfork writes about, since we're all getting the same information. This is about the next 1.7 years in Middle America, when more people start listening to even crappier imitations of the electro-dance glory days of today.
Let's get a few things straight: I don't know what makes a good DJ, or a good song. I'm just a blogger, not a student at the Berklee School of music. I only know that music is 'good' because a band is written about a lot, or because it sounds like a feel-good hit from my childhood. Or maybe I was really drunk the first time I heard it.
While I usually poke fun at the envious position that Steve Aoki is in (downing bottles of Grey Goose and getting paid for using iTunes DJ software), this Pitchfork Review is certainly dipping into the 'blog-style, buzz generating' content that they would probably put themselves above.
Bolded are some of the more memorable jabs from the review:
Pillowface and His Airplane Chronicles
[Thrive (Red); 2008]
This mix, the first (and hopefully last) from Dim Mak major domo Steve Aoki, kicks off with Refused's "New Noise", a 10-year-old track that mixes Fugazi-loving ruckus with the merch-friendly electronic ambiance now heard on the quiet moments of your average Linkin Park single. After two minutes of this enjoyable ruckus, the disc jumps into a 16-track mix of modern-day post-punk and indie-approved dance tracks that I assume by the incongruous Refused intro is meant to signify the "new noise" of a 21st century American Apparelled rock/dance zeitgeist that's not at all played out in the slightest.
Granted, this thing passes the American Bandstand test just fine, which is its primary purpose. That said, a broken dishwasher also has a beat to it, and sticking someone's gussied-up 1987 Maytag front and center at the trendiest L.A. hot spot would undoubtedly get both scene-stealers and scene-makers on the floor in time for a Cobrasnake photo op. So we have a guitar-flavored version of the the boundary-busting credo offered in Green Velvet's "Shake and Pop"-- "I like electro/ I like retro/ I like ghetto/ House & techno"-- never mind that kicking those doors down in a Daft Punk world doesn't take all that much effort. That said, whenever Aoki tries to bring two (or three) purportedly great tastes together, the end result is the aural equivalent of mixing toothpaste and orange juice. In Aoki's mind, Mickey Avalon can offer a verse on a perfectly fine little electro squiggle like K.I.M.'s "Wet 'N Wild" without gumming up the works, while Pase Rock can pinch a horny-backpacker loaf on one of two Justice tracks and not sound like an assclown. For what it's worth, Pase does his business all over "Waters of Nazareth"-- take a wild G.U.E.S.S. what the other Justice track is (and guess which indie-rooted RMXGRP worked their magic on it).
Guests of similar quality pepper the disc, with only Kid Sister's turn atop "Shake and Pop" being worth a damn. Turns by the vocalists for Hot Hot Heat and the Faint come off more like extraneous cameos than the spotlight-grabbers they should be. If only other folks followed suit: Har Mar Superstar fronts like Licensed to Ill is the be-all and end-all of hip-hop, Spank Rocker Amanda Blank manages to make a turgid remix of Does It Offend You, Yeah? even worse, and Santogold damages one of the mix's more enjoyable tracks ("Licky [Work It Out]"), with her bargain-basement-Peaches turn at the mic.
If you're the sort that accepts no substitutes, then you'll be happy to know that the original shows up on this thing as well, thanks to Weird Science, a remix duo featuring a member of Moving Units and a certain Mr. Aoki. Peaches emerges relatively unscathed on their manhandling of "Boys Wanna Be Her", but then there's her turn atop a castrated version of Bloc Party's "Helicopter". Weird Science t
ake a perfectly fine guitar-driven track, strips out its frenetic drive, adds a lumpy sea-sick strobe-bass beat, and puts the track's focus entirely on Kele Okereke's and Peaches' vocals, because that's supposedly where the party is.
After 50 minutes of this tired nonsense, with the highlights (like the bloops and bleeps of Yelle's thankfully untouched "Je Veux Te Voir", or the bits of Datarock's strummy "Fa-Fa-Fa" that aren't beset by hot hot air) sorely outnumbered by the lowlights, the mix ends with another turgid rock-meets-dance-with-guest remix, this time a track by Dim Mak group (and post-punk aficionados) Scanners with additional words of wisdom offered by Justice labelmate Uffie. By this point, whatever "new noise" Aoki seemed to promise at the start comes off as just futile sound and fury signifying the number of folks he has in his iPhone and/or under contract.
-David Raposa, February 20, 2008
I guess the problem with Pitchfork as it relates to 80% of Generation Y is that it is trying to preserve integrity and quality in both music and journalism. However, good journalism and good music aren't terribly important to a significant sect of young internet users these days. Music should be fresh and free. Online content is usually just a picture, and an easy-to-consume blurb.
Maybe the entire problem with Pitchfork is that they mismanaged their perception. I remember I found out about Pitchfork because it was 'a place that wrote really pretentious reviews.' Maybe that worked in the days when it was cool to network with indie record labels by becoming Programming Director at your college radio station, but I'm not so sure about today's zany landscape. It's also interesting to think that Pitchfork was probably one of the first places to be universally known as 'having an American Apparel ad.' How seriously did you ever take Pitchfork, and when did you give up the desire to have an ultimate authority on 'music worth listening to'?
The value of today's Pitchfork as a ' good source for good music' is questionable. No longer do we need a music 'magazine' to find out about new music. Doesn't every one know an acquaintance whose band was featured on the SPIN/Rolling Stone website as the 'band of the day'? Maybe Pitchfork was 'revolutionary' in that it was a magazine that linked you to an online music store, but the service just isn't valuable any more. In fact, I'd probably encourage Pitchfork readers to utilize the iTunes store and Amazon.com auto-recommendations before talking themselves into being influenced by a Pitchfork Review. I am more focused on fitting in, and making myself aware of what people are purchasing and talking about in both mainstream and alternative circles.
I trust the Hype Machine, LAST.FM, iMeem, iLike, and other web based services. I trust the algorithms that determine what's popular, and what most people are listening to, because most importantly, I want to fit in. I want to know what people are talking about. I find comfort in knowing about Vampire Weekend, but not having really listened to them, and knowing why it's alright for me not to like them even though I 'haven't given them a fair chance.'
In a world where Radiohead was force fed to me through way too many different media outlets, the only solace I can find is in the power of choice -- my own freedom to decide whether or not to like something for any stupid reason, how long I want to like it for, and most importantly, the freedom to determine whether or not I want these decisions to make sense.
Fortunately, the internet helps us perform this evaluation process this at a faster rate than ever, and with more information than we could ever need to make an educated (or unfounded) decision.
Anyways, I guess I'm just trying to say that a) Pitchfork is for people with receding hairlines and b) if any one is going to make fun of Steve Aoki, it's going to be us, because we've paid our dues by investing in the lifestyle (whether we are serious about it or not).
It's also probably good for Aoki that Pitchfork overwhelmed his douchey image. We'll see if it will be similar to the transition of the Green Ranger to the White Ranger.
But oh well. Most of the world doesn't listen to the most of the music on Pitchfork, and even more of the world doesn't listen to the top HypeM tracks. I guess we should all just give up our 'good taste in music' and start listening to The Fray.
Needless to say, this is a time to rally around Steve Aoki. Maybe you should leave him a supportive comment at his myspace (http://www.myspace.com/steveaoki), or send him a personal text message if you have his number in your cell phone. Tell him HRO sent you.
Did you take the time to fill out the annual Pitchfork Media Survey? They ask you standard questions like 'where do u buy ur music?' and 'what kynd of MP3 player do u have?' You should take it and tell them that you find out about all of your music from your favourite blogs instead of Pitchfork.
In honor of aggregating data about readership, the new poll on Hipster Runoff's sidebar has to do with what kind of content you come to HRO to read.
IS IT THE MUSIC?
IS IT THE MYSPACERS?
IS IT THE FASHION TIPS?
DO YOU HATE HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Let us know, in case we need to stop blogging.
On a sidenote, check out the 2007 WEBLOG AWARDS for the 'top' music blogs on the internet. HIPSTER RUNOFF didn't make the list, but there's always 2008. We're actually going to do our own TOP MUSIC BLOGS list which will be more useful and just as meaningful as the Weblog Awards.
She has great taste in music. She is a humanitarian. She went to college. She made a playlist for Entertainment Weekly that showcases her love for freak folk. She is the real-life version of her characters in "V for Vendetta" and "Garden State" combined. She wears wrist bands for causes. She goes to conferences where important people are talking.
Portman also revealed herself as something of a freak folkie to EW.com, saying "I love this whole movement now with Antony and Devendra and CocoRosie and Sufjan Stevens," though she also claimed, "Stevie Wonder is probably my No. 1 [favorite artist]. And Radiohead, the White Stripes-- they're modern-day classics."
She also downplayed her role in launching the Shins into the stratosphere, telling EW.com, "The Shins are the ones who created their own success. No one is gonna think a sound is great just because I say so. They hear the songs, and that's what decides it for them."
Don't you secretly hate the person in your group of friends who acts 'globally aware' and says stuff like that?
We think she should focus on being a more realistic role model. Like some one for those kids who aren't going to go to college, and get an Associate's Degree in fashion/design/hair styling/ auto repair, etc. She could probably really cross over if she made a film about a girl who is myspace all day, goes out to the movies with her friends to see the new Wes Anderson film, has a Sidekick, and takes a lot of pictures of herself throughout the whole day.
I think it's time we stop holding it against teens for glorifying the Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan type of lifestyle that they'll never achieve. Instead, we should work to create a less lethal, more accessible version of that lifestyle for the masses.
The Shins Caring is Creepy
It's nice of Daft Punk to clear up our motives when it comes to why we should appreciate electronic music VS. why we should enjoy electronic music.
Pitchfork: What's your opinion of DJs like Justice, who are obviously hugely influenced by you? Do you feel any sense of friendly competition with them?
TB[Daft Punk's Thomas Bangalter]: Justice are talented. They make good tracks and have fun doing it. We come from a generation that wanted to make electronic music accepted, at a time [when] it was not. The place of electronic music, culturally and socially, is today completely different-- it is now everywhere, and it has been totally accepted. Consequently, there is now a younger generation that is more focused on making great electronic music, good parties, and having fun, where there is not any more so much need for cultural and ideological statements in electronic music itself. We're genuinely happy if some musicians of this younger generation are influenced by our music, as we were ourselves influenced 10 years ago by older musicians.
This quote makes me feel REALLY Generation Y-ish. Do I listen to good music to have fun, or do I really appreciate it?
Chicago is a mecca of everything that is hipsterdom. Located in the middle of the country, it is a city worth writing a song about. Some people love New York, others love LA. Chicago may or may not be a city worth loving, too. If you are a band, you will stop there, though. They have a scene for every one.
If you are driving to Chicago for Pitchfork Music Festival next summer, maybe you should put these songs on your mix.
Well, I think if I were a panel of Generation Y judges, I would probably pick HIPSTER OLYMPICS because of it's utilization of pure Youtube, along with digital film making technology. While the Onion offers funnie commentary on the site that we love to hate to love, you can't top Myspace Editor humor.
What do you think?
Ryan Schreiber is an indie blog innovator behind Pitchfork Media. He started his blogspot, it blew up and replaced dying magazines, and now he just pays people who are desperate 2 be associated with the Pitchfork brand 'content farm prices', attempting to produce branded alt content. Schreiber recently decided to descend from his stacks of buzz bucks in order to 'get his hands dirty', doing the work of the content farmer. He decided to give the popular EDM DJ act "AVICII" Best New Music.
Is this a 'turning point' in Pitchfork history, abandoning the traditional 'indie sound'?
I didn't actually read the review, but it probably just tried to explain why p4k was blogging abt EDM because ppl mainly read P4k to hear that people died or to spooge over the honky band of the month in a more tasteful way than NPR's advertorial voice.
As genre names go, EDM is about as vague as "indie." While it's useful shorthand for the post-millennial rave movement's superstar DJs and producers, it doesn't give much insight into the stylistic diversity of the music. Its artists may share an affinity for dramatic, wind-up builds and earthquaking drops, but there's still a world of difference between Skrillex's glitched-out mayhem, Diplo's baile-funk bangers, and David Guetta's big-tent trance.
Then there's Swedish producer Avicii, who essentially makes straight-up house music with an ear for the kind of universal, candy-coated pop melodies that his homeland seems to produce with astonishing ease. More than six months after its official release, his 2011 electro house anthem "Levels" is still gaining momentum as one of EDM's defining singles.
U vibe 2 LeVeLs, too, bro?
Listen 2 the track. Does it sound 'relevant', 'best', and 'new', or just the usual chords that make ppl on molly 'go crazie'.
This is a bold move by P4k, and it certainly adds to the rumors that there WILL be a dance tent at next year's Pitchfork Music Festival in order to capitalize on EDM markets. The Online Mag recently 'crossed EDM lines' in order to interview Skrillex.
Is EDM more relevant than indie?
Has the EDM bubble already burst?
R u more into this song than Majestic-Coma-Wave Beach House?
Should music not have labels/genres?
Don't u wish we could all vibe?
Is EDM the future of the indie blogosphere?
Does all white man's honky indie sound the same anyways?
Remember that time when Avicii was interviewed by some1 who had no effing clue who he was?
Pitchfork Music Festival is a 'cash cow' for the Pitchfork Media Group, making 'mad bank' from fringe-alts who vibe to festivals but don't really check out blogs that much. More importantly, the festival is a LIVE BRAND that exists as a way 2 show bands 'who wears the pants' in the blog-vs-band relationship. Most bands that headline Pitchfork Music Festival are guaranteed above an 8.7, and Vampire Weekend's headlining slot means that they will be 'shielded' from any sort of indie-blog-backlash, even if their upcoming post-Contra album is 'mainstreammy sounding.'
It's times like these that we wonder, "Who is pulling the strings in the Corrupt Indie Machine?" Is this a prime example of indie corruption, or are two brands creating synergies for the greater good of music? You have to think that this means Pitchfork will reward Vampire Weekend with AT LEAST a 9.1, and there will be no 'backlash' despite their sales numbers or overall vibe/aesthetic. There is NO WAY that this headliner would have been 'green lit' without [EXCLUSIVE] access to early b-sides and album storyboards, meaning that Pitchfork has basically 'already endorsed' the album.
Here are some of the other bands that will be given 'favorable treatment' from Pitchfork bc they aren't allowed 2 say that their own lineup sux:
Vampire Weekend, Feist, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Hot Chip, AraabMUZIK, A$AP Rocky, the Field, Liturgy, Kendrick Lamar, Grimes, Cloud Nothings, Tim Hecker, and Willis Earl Beal will all join us in Union Park! And that's only the beginning-- over 30 additional acts will be announced.
U have to give Vampire Weekend 'mad props' for securing this headlining spot. It is also important for P4k Music Festival to pick a 'universally liked' mainstream indie band to help extend their brand, and poach away bands/fans that would often go to Chicago-area festival Lollapalooza in order to see similar bands, except it would be degrading bc Lolla is 'so mnstrm' and 'huge', and P4k is still chill-sized.
Should Vampy Weeks have picked NPRfest?
Should they have headlined Lolla for mad $$$$?
Is this an important move to prevent any 'critical backlash'?
Is Ezra Koenig 2 keut 2 ever do any thing wrong?
Do u evr feel like ur just waiting, and waiting for Ezra Koenig 2 come back in2 ur life?
R u going to the Fork Music Festival?
Will this make Pitchfork 'more relevant' to the Tumblr-VampyWeeks-MGMT fan girl community?
Has Pitchfork compromised their editorial voice with a Music Festival, or are they just 'raking in those sweet, sweet buzz bucks' except it is actually real $$$$?
Portlandia isn't actually a 'comedy show', it's just a relevancy pyramid scheme that involves the inclusion of random indie celebs, then every1 has 2 blog about it because it is the only interesting way that an alt celeb musician like St. Vincent could 'get press.' Just let Fred Armisen invent some dumb role for u, and ur all good to go, set free into the indie memesphere. Anyways, last Friday's episode included a parody of Pitchfork founder and CEO Ryan Schreiber. In the sketch, some buzzband achieved maximum relevancy, and the Schreiberian character was seen inside the Pitchfork content farm offices saying that it was 'time 2 shut the site down' after maximum relevancy had been achieved. Many indie insiders understand that the purpose of Pitchfork is not to celebrate music, but instead to make mad bank off indie ppl.
Ryan Schreiber is widely known as one of the most influential moguls in the indiesphere; however, no one is quite sure if he is the biggest cog in the Corrupt Indie Machine. A few years ago, he was named one of Time Magazine's most influential people ever [link].
Here is the episode. It happens 'at the very end' if u care/are bored enough to scroll thru 4 it.
Has Ryan Schreiber 'made it', or will he have 2 'be parodied on SNL' for P4k 2 officially be mnstrm?
Is Portlandia 'funnie' or just high-end webisodes?
Is Pitchfork the most important indie influencer on the web?
If u could trade lives with one relevant alt celebrity, would it be Ryan Schreiber?
Is Fred Armisen 'the funniest alt comedian' on the planet, or will his mainstream years doing 'hack comedy' on SNL tarnish his legacy?
What is it like 2 work 4 Pitchfork? [A LOOK INSIDE THE MYSTERIOUS INDIE MACHINE'S OFFICES]
Pitchfork cyberbullies & slutshames Best Coast, calls her an 'inauthentic two-timing sell out panderer'By Carles on 08 Feb 2012
Best Coast was 'hand picked' to play some festival that Metallica curated. 'Who cares?' Well, Pitchfork came up with a GREAT angle to make it interesting. Recently, Best Coast's Bethany Cosentino tweeted that Metallica TOTALLY EFFING SUCKED [via that crappy album that every1 said sucked, "Lulu".
Haha, remember when Bethany Cosentino called the Metallica/Lou Reed album "the worst thing I've ever heard"? That apparently didn't stop Metallica from hand-selecting Best Coast for their new Atlantic City festival, Orion Music & More.
It seems as if they 'went out of their way' to #slutshame and #cyberbully Best Coast, letting her know that she is a PHONEY, LIAR, TWO-TIMER, and a SELL OUT by accepting a spot in the Metallica Fest. I would expect this type of treatment from HIPSTER RUNOFF, but it seems clear that TABLOID JOURNALISM is the future of the blogosphere.
Best Coast had to TWEET an APOLOGY to 'CLEAR THE AIR', asking 'OMG WHY DO U H8RZ CARE? WORRY ABT UR OWN GODDAMN LIFE U EFFING LOSERS WHO WRITE THINGS ON THE INTERNET?'
It seems clear that Best Coast's new album will 'get panned' by Pitchfork, and the Corrupt Indie Machine might be taking a universal stance against her, basically saying 'Dis Bitch Be Dumb. Her music is dumb' Say what you will about her Twitter brand, but at the end of the day, she does speak to a tween generation of female fuzzybuzziers. NO ONE knows how her album will perform on the charts, but 2k12 is truly a PRESSURE COOKER 4 her, as she must become more than just a 'blog darling' to be able to one day own property instead of renting. It seems clear that CRITICS like Pitchfork Media are lining up AGAINST her.
Best Coast went on to tweet this mssg abt cyberbullying websites:
at the end of the day, i love this job because i get to encourage people. hate is always going to exist, but don't let it stand in yr way xB
Is Best Coast a 'liar' and a 'panderer'?
Will she 'fit in' at Metallica fest?
Should she have declined this invite?
Will she be 'booed off stage' by scary men?
Does she only care abt mnstrm fame, bronoodling with Drew Barrymore?
Is Best Coast 'doomed' or can she inspire Lana Del Rey levels of backlash, and cruise them to fame and mad album sales?
Does she need to 'commit herself to the craft' and get cosmetic surgery like LDR?
Are blogs 'turning' on Best Coast now that she is going to 'try to go mnstrm' on her next album cycle?
Is the Corrupt Indie Machine DONE with Bethany?
R u tired of the cyberbullying and slutshaming?
If critics want to make sure an album doesn't perform well, should they 'pan' it and dehumanize the artist, or just 'ignore' it?
Can we title Best Coast's upcoming album cycle EVERY ONE HATES BETHANY?
#pray4snacks: He is the true victim in all of this
Childish Gambino's "Camp" was widely regarded as the biggest joke of an album of the year. Even Pitchforkmedia.com 'panned the eff' out of it with a 1.6, making sure that every1 knew it was 'totally irrelevant' and the 'biggest disgrace to rap' since Asher Roth. Anyways, P4k had some sort of 'reader's poll' where voiceless people who are bored enough to think that their opinion matters 'chimed in' on what they thought the most underrated albums of the year were. It was probably just a bunch of college dude bros who were in the middle of drinking a brewski and arguing with their dorm room buddies about the album of the year. They were all like, 'U totally effed up P4k! Camp by Childish Gambino is actually a great piece of art', then they went back to watching Episodes of 'Community Office Recreation' or whatever dying NBC show Donnie Glover is on.
Here are the most 'underrated' albums according 2 'Pitchfork readers.'
01. Childish Gambino: Camp
02. Radiohead: The King of Limbs
03. Wild Beasts: Smother
04. Panda Bear: Tomboy
05. Youth Lagoon: The Year of Hibernation
06. Wilco: The Whole Love
07. Destroyer: Kaputt
08. The Strokes: Angles
09. Yuck: Yuck
10. Arctic Monkeys: Suck it and See
'Dude [underrated album] by [underrated band] was actually kinda really good because [dumb reason]. It doesn't matter if they are [generally accepted perception of the band], what should matter is good music. And they achieved it.' -college dude bro talking about indie music
U have to wonder if this is the validation that Donald Glover was seeking with his Childish Gambino project. Maybe he 'won' indie rap after all...
Did 'Camp' deserve a 3.2 instead of a 1.6?
Did Donnie Glover 'win over the masses'?
Will Pitchfork 'extend an interview' to Donnie Glover in order 2 milk this meme beef for hits + indie history?
Has Donald Glover 'won' the indie rap game?
Can Donald Glover take down Kanye West?
Do people confuse 'tv/movie stars' with 'real musicians'? [via the Zooey Deschanel theory]
Also, these are Pitchfork readers 'fave albums' of 2k11.
01. Bon Iver: Bon Iver
02. Fleet Foxes: Helplessness Blues
03. M83: Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
04. James Blake: James Blake
05. Girls: Father, Son, Holy Ghost
06. St. Vincent: Strange Mercy
07. Radiohead: The King of Limbs
08. PJ Harvey: Let England Shake
09. Jay-Z / Kanye West: Watch the Throne
10. Destroyer: Kaputt
11. The Weeknd: House of Balloons
12. Real Estate: Days
13. tUnE-yArDs: w h o k i l l
14. Panda Bear: Tomboy
15. Drake: Take Care
16. Kurt Vile: Smoke Ring For My Halo
17. The Antlers: Burst Apart
18. Childish Gambino: Camp
19. Youth Lagoon: The Year of Hibernation
20. Yuck: Yuck
Should Pitchfork change its editorial mission 2 'pander' 2 its readers, or should it 'remain progressive' and push readers 2 vibe in an altered zone?
Do u prefer Danny Glover or Donny Glover?
Lana Del Rey is known as 'the fakest broad in indie.' She was a failed mainstream artist, but now she's invaded the indiesphere, and because the indiesphere is a) super boring, therefore desperate to ride and human meme until they burn out AND b) obsessed with attractive females, Lana Del Rey has basically already earned blogosphere tenure. Pretending u have an opinion of this broad is way more interesting than pretending you have an opinion on some lofi band's latest shitty mp3/video. Because 2k11 is a really bleak year musically, the indiesphere has resorted to the tactic of 'writing extensive thinkpieces about artists we know damn well aren't going to be around for more than 4 months', which basically explains how James Blake and Tyler the Creator became s00 2k11 famous.
It's just the era of hollow buzz, our last line of defense to hydrate indie lands as the buzz drought turns to a bonafide buzz apocalypse.
Anyways, this article is more relevant than the typical mailed-in Lana Del Rey think piece that leads us to question the modern definition of 'indie' and the perception of females in music because it indirectly functions as Pitchfork's 'official stance' on whether or not they will pile on the cyberbullying of Lana Del Rey, or if they will judge her based on appearance and gimmickry. They basically say, "We're gonna let her gimmick around, and we'll judge the gimmick. We just wanna be fair. Sorry. Nothing 2 see here. Move along. We're not just got to write abt her potential plastic surgery like other low-class indie blogs."
They had some writer bro 'jump on the grenade' for the team, writing some sort of vague piece that basically said 'Let's just judge the broad 4 her music' instead of riding literal pitchfork-waves and storming her metaphorical bastille and crucifying/cyberbullying her. Honestly not even sure what the eff the article is saying, but I can assume that because we can't really extract a coherent thesis from it, it was just meant to 'sidestep' important issues, and proclaim that 'the broad is okay by us.'
Here is some statement that explains her history, then ends in a metaphor abt how all bands are processed meat.
First, I noticed people arguing about her on Twitter, then I read articles and thinkpieces and features about her and the contested authenticity of her history/music/face. (Short version: She used to play plainer music as Lizzy Grant. She looked different then.) Only then was the YouTube clip for "Video Games" sufficiently buffered to give it a decent listen. This is how efficient our online music press is now: With a slow enough connection, you might actually see how the sausage was made (and marketed) before you even smell it cooking.
I sorta actually do wish I had Dr. 90210 style footage of Lana Del Rey 'being made' [via plastic surgery consultation vibes].
Lana Del Rey is a victim. She's just an artist who is dealing with bloggers being a-holes. It's not her fault she can't just make a sexi video on MTV any more. She has 2 go thru blogs bc she is a creative soul who wants 2 give more 2 the world than she would as a mainstream artist.
Del Rey has the ear and the ambition for a pop audience, and an aesthetic that makes an effective splash around the "indie" press. In another time, she might have aimed at a major-label contract, gotten a striking "buzz" video on MTV, and attracted whichever fans responded to it; as of 1996, that's precisely what Fiona Apple did with music not so differently pitched from this stuff. As of 2011, the closest thing we have to MTV's old "buzz bin" is music blogs-- entities with the exact same vested interest in mainstream cool-hunting that your television once had. The only problem is that the people who read, write, and obsess over them are hyper-aware of what a tempting audience they are: They're sensitive to pandering and "fakeness," wary of being used to piggyback toward another audience. Appeal to them successfully, and long arguments about music-industry machinations and "authenticity" are more or less inevitable.
Lana Del Rey is okay, I guess, at some stuff, or something, but maybe not, but it looks okay, but maybe it is contrived, but I guess let's just keep waiting and talking about her, or something.
Watching the clip for "Video Games", you certainly see someone with a terrific visual imagination, someone who's created, and is executing, the kind of pop-star persona that expects her to actually be Lana Del Rey. But the music she's making is squarely in pop's realm; it's not as interested in sounding surprising as it is in looking and feeling that way.
I'm not sure what this closing line means. Maybe just like 'her music might be good, so let's stop talking about her obvious plastic surgery to look more indie.'
In that sense, these great videos are oddly terrible at their job: Instead of selling you the music and showing you how it can feel, they actually hint at what the music lacks, the places it could go but has chosen not to. That situation is a lot more interesting than anything going on with Del Rey's face, and it's a tricky corner to be stuck in.
Sorta wish they just had more of a vibe of like 'if ur a female in indie, and u get plastic surgery, we will boost our coverage and rating of your personal brand/art.' Then we could see artists like St. Vincent get 'b00b jobs', and more broads with big lips. Sorta hope this is a new era of indie, similar to the 'juiced' era of baseball, where we pretend that artists aren't creating an unfair playing field due to unnatural resources.
Overall, #LanaGate is already really boring, but we're going to have 2 keep sifting thru stuff like this for the next ~1 year. This is probably going to be one of the better 'formal blog entries' abt LDR, until magazine writers poop all over the toiler paper that they call 'magazines', reblurbing her story and the same ideas 4 the market of lamestreamers who are chilling out in waiting rooms.
Did P4k basically 'endorse' Lana Del Rey?
Did they 'cream their pants' 4 her?
Do u know what this bloggypost even said?
Is it clear that P4k is officially on #TeamLanaDelRey?
Was this actually a 'pan' or a typical 'mainstream publication sidestep-pan' where the meaty/interesting 'vitriol' is deleted by an editor?
Does this mean she is breaking the 9.0 barrier?
Is she the only reliable meme that the indiesphere has now?
Is she too hot not to cast a spell on indie bro bloggers?
In conclusion, this is a picture of Lana Del Rey in a bikini top, holding a cat.
Pitchfork.com is known as 'The King of Indie Music Blog Websites' bc it emerged as an early entrant 2 the blog scene, using a high-level editorial brand 2 convince ppl to 'take it seriously' as a music recommendation service. Like most websites on the internet, it must adapt to meet the users of contemporary-wave/modern internet users. It seems to have launched an ALL NEW redesign that attempts to make it more competitive in the current internet landscape. Do u think it is a 'design success' or a 'massive design failure'?
Here is the official statement on the redesign:
The new edition features larger, clearer images, improved organization and usability, and a more readable typeface. Pitchfork.tv has been reworked, making artists and series easier to find, and its archive of music videos has been moved to the still-expanding Music Videos section. Our new Tracks section merges Forkcast and The Playlist to highlight the best and most notable new tracks as they become available. Video game culture magazine Kill Screen has been given its own dedicated section, and experimental music blog Altered Zones now has a presence on our homepage.
Twitter is A-BUZZ with this SHOCKING NEW DEVELOPMENT, and reviews are MIXED. Needless to say, some users are NOT giving the site a 10.0, nor are they giving the site 'Best New Layout Status.'
I reached out to a well-known internet HTML designer, and he issued to following analysis on the redesign:
It's by no means a compelling or game-changing redesign It's super bland, really. In many ways, the indie thoughtleaders made their site look like just about any other site on the internet. The most notable element is the blank space on the side of the page, which will surely morph into a coveted skin-based ad solution. While Gawker used their redesign to push forward the internet's ad solution model, Pitchfork's redesign symbolized confidence in their advertising sales team AND probably just meant they needed to clean up their code-base, specifically on the TV side.
To get nit-picky, the redesign features an inordinate amount of clutter. It bastardizes the finer assets of a number of better sites. The footer approach lifted from at least 30 popular websites. The partners section is also doomed. It is highly redundant to have Tracks and Best New Tracks across from each other. The new design just made their typically poor typography even bigger--their confused brand identity illustrated by excessive number of fonts. 24 pt Georgia body text? You've gotta be kidding me. The prevalence of their social media presences is necessary for most blogs, but the implementation is incredibly middle-brow. The site is a colorless, slow-loading Frankenstein. No finesse by their design team. Cool treatment on hoverstates, though.
Did Pitchfork 'nail it' on their layout?
WIll they ENGAGE new users?
Have they already 'won' indie? Can they takeover more genres?
Have they 'gone Huff Po'?
Do they look unique + well-branded, or 'just like any other crappy blog on the internet?
Will they see a decrease or increase in pageviews based on their layout?
Will they see a decrease or increase in uniques based on their layout?
Do u think they will make more $$$ based on the layout?
Will they decrease server load with the new layout?
Did they hurt or help indie by redesigning?
Do u go 2 design school/internet college majoring in HTML? What is ur analysis on the new layout?
Do u miss the old layout?
Do u miss the older layout?
Do u miss the older older layout/kewl favicon?
Do u miss the lil text layout?
Should they revert 2 the original layout 2 refocus on Authentic Music Journalism? (Schreiber, 2000, pp. 1-3)
What is the best alt blog design of all time?
How would u rate the new layout?
Pitchfork is a mega alt brand that started out as a lil music website b4 blogspots even existed, but now they are probably at the top of the Fortune 500 list of alt companies. Making mad bank, producing premium, sponsored content, and extending their internet brand in2 reality by hosting showcases and festivals in relevant areas of the country.
Now it seems like p4k continues to 'go global' by launching Pitchfork Paris. I don't know much abt French ppl, but I assume that they all just listen 2 Jousteece and dance around 2 banger-wave synth pop. Hopefully this festival goes off without any1 dying, or else the French govt might ban pitchfork.fr in their country.
R u gonna go 2 this? Does Southwest Airlines fly 2 Paris?
Since its inception in 2006, the Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago has come to epitomize summertime in our city: a park in the West Loop, beautiful views of the skyline, and best of all, great music. We've worked hard over the past six years to keep our festival affordable while offering the best band lineup around, and we look forward to continuing that tradition here in Chicago-- in two weeks at this year's festival, and in the years ahead.
We also look forward to recreating that magic this fall-- in Paris! Yes, this October, the Pitchfork Music Festival will embark on a journey across the Atlantic, touching down for two autumn days in the City of Light.
Sorta wonder if I can 'trade in' my Chicago tix bc they seem totally irrelevant now. As a lamestreamer from the Midwest, I was just gonna go chill in Chicago 4 the weekend and vibe out 2 some indie tunes. But now I am just reminded that I am trapped in the Midwest and I will never live any where meaningful or relevant.
By launching a music festival in Paris, has p4k 'diluted' their brand or made a 'savvy bizdev move' in2 emerging indie markets?
Are they just going after 'low hanging fruit'?
Will they sacrifice their editorial brand?
Is the Chicago festival 'an international event' or is it just a Midwestern oasis?
Should p4k attempt 2 'outgrow' Lollapalooza?
Will this expansion 'backfire'?
we're gonna host a music festival in Paris...
I'm on it...
Apparently, some trendy writers penned some script called "Pitchfork." The type of writer bros who write meaningful bro comedies about bros 'coming of age' after a series of quirky events that lead you to question the spirit of bro, and make the brotagonist wonder if he will ever grow 'beyond a bro' to 'become a man.' Anyways, this headline seems trendy because the name of the movie is "Pitchfork." I don't know if mainstreamers know about that indie music site.
Titled "Pitchfork," it's a dramatic thriller about the middle-aged mother of an indie rocker who, after her son is killed in a car accident, seeks vengeance on an online blogger who had peddled snark about her son (on the music site Pitchfork, hence one of the title's entendres). Things take a turn, though, when she finds out the snarker is just a teenager.
Is Pitchfork even 'snarky'? It seems like they 'respect artists' and never really question them as human beings or memes. I wonder what the indie rocker's personal brand will be all about. I wonder what the blogger will look like? Probably some MASSIVE, disgusting blob who hasn't seen the sun in days.
I wonder if this is based on a specific Pitchfork 'writer.' I think they all call themselves 'writers' even though it is just an HTML file on the internet.
Apparently Jonah Hill 'is rumored to have read the script' so we can basically go ahead and say he is 'starring in it' [via blog industry standards].
The film contains a juicy role for the mother (Susan Sarandon is one of the actresses who's being sought for the part) as well as the teen blogger, with Hill having discussed it with the filmmakers, said a person familiar with the pitch.
Was really hoping that this was going to be a biopic about Ryan Schreiber, and the bro he betrayed to start Pitchfork Media. Kinda let down.
This seems like it is the kind of movie that will just 'get a lot of blog buzz' and then no1 really goes 2 see it [via Scott Pilgrim]/the majority of movies involving Jonah Hill or Michael Cera.
R u going to see this movie?
Will this movie 'get greenlit'?
Do u think Pitchfork should let this movie 'use' it, or will it be a 'jump the shark' moment when the movie tanks and becomes 'dated' in _ days?
Will it be as meaningful as 'Almost Famous' [via Rolling Stone]?
Who is the #1 indie snark blogger?
Is this movie 'based on Carles'?
Will the mother of a deceased indie rocker hunt down Carles 1 day?
Image by The Mainstreamer
Pitchfork Media is a popular music news and reviews site, and they also have a festival, and they are 'super influential' when it comes 2 the indie scene, replacing mainstreamer old magazines as the #1 source 4 indie buzzbands. Anyways, the 'genius' behind Pitchfork Media is some bro named Ryan Schreiber. Basically, he effectively turned Pitchfork into an authentic content farm filled with employees who still think they are 'real writers' and he basically just chills and 'cracks the whip.' I have heard rumors that he is mainly focused on creating the technology for Pitchfork 3D, similar to how James Cameron didn't make a movie for a decade just 2 make the technology that created Avatar.
Anyways, TIME Magazine wants u 2 vote 4 him 4 'person of the year' or something like that. 'Most relevant human ever of the year', just another traffic hoarding scheme by a dying magazine, but u gotta do what u gotta do...
In 1995, Ryan Schreiber was a 19-year-old Minneapolis record-store clerk who wanted to publish a rock-music fanzine but lacked access to a photocopier. Instead, he started a website, called it Pitchfork and began posting his thoughts on his favorite indie bands — groups whose songs never got played on the radio or MTV. Fifteen years later, Pitchfork is the Pravda of indie rock, steering opinion (and sales) with its unsparing and infamously dense record reviews.
Do u think Ryan Schreiber is more important than Obama / The Wikileaks bro / the bro who invented Facebook / ?
Did u know that Ryan Schreiber 'invented' / 'discovered' / 'uncovered' the Arcade Fire?
(Among Schreiber's discoveries: a little-known Canadian band named Arcade Fire, who this year took home the Grammy for Album of the Year.) As industry revenues crumble and genres fracture into ever smaller niches, Schreiber and Pitchfork may be the closest thing the music world has to an authoritative voice.
Feel like the Arcade Fire really 'screwed him over' by not thanking him during their Grammy acceptance speech.
Do u think he 'deserves' this honor?
Will u 'vote 4 him'?
Do u <3 'internet popularity contests'?
Is Pitchfork the #1 music site on the internet?
Who really 'controls' indie music these days? Websites, artists, or ppl who work 2 brand artists or _________?
Is every other blog just 'trying but failing 2 be P4k'?
Who would win in a blog 2 the death: Carles, Ryan Schreiber or __________ (miscellaneous 'music journalist' with legacy brand who is grandfathered in2 job at some newspaper/magazine's website)?
It seems like we finally can say "The new Strokes album rlly, rlly sux and was a huge letdown and it might be EVEN WORSE than the MGMT Congratulations flop of 2k10." The popular alt blogzine Pitchfork magazine 'panned the eff out of it.' I think they still sell albums, so magazines like Rolling Stone and SPIN have to pretend the album/band still 'has it', but this is a CLEAR MESSAGE from the indiesphere that 'we are done with the Strokes, except might still post about them bc they generate traffic.'
It seems like maybe this album sux because Julian Casablancas didn't write the entire album himself and tell every1 what 2 play so he was all like 'eff this joint, I'm recording my vox Postal Service style':
The album attempts to rebuild the band from the ground up. Whereas Casablancas had previously written nearly every part of the group's songs including guitar solos and basslines, he steps back on Angles, which features songs from other members. And this revised process is evident in the credits: "All Music Written and Arranged by the Strokes." Casablancas called the new way "Operation Make Everyone Satisfied," which sounds condescending enough. And while the more democratic move may seem generous, the singer threw his clout around by separating himself from the rest of the recording process and sending his vocals to the band via electronic files. And the album's oddly collaborative origins are evidenced in both its scatter-shot diversity and its lurching fragmentation.
Seems like the Strokes don't rlly care and are just doing it for $$$ or something.
Also, he sort of got all emo on his lyrics and every1 hates him:
Throughout, the album is hobbled by disconnections-- between verse and chorus, lyrics and music, intent and execution. Casablancas' ambivalence about his own actions crops up often. On the ugly prog wannabe "Metabolism" he declares, "I wanna be outrageous/ But inside I know I'm plain." Disjointed closer "Life Is Simple in the Moonlight" has him confessing, "There's no one I disapprove of or root for more for than myself." And while the singer's singed self-loathing was present in the Strokes from the beginning, it was always tempered with music that provided some uplift. But on the sad-eyed and drum-less "Call Me Back", he's left to moan about how "no one has the time, someone's always late" against a single guitar and ethereal keyboard. Listening to the track, it's pretty easy to see why people may not be returning his calls.
Anyways, the review is 'hella brutal' [via blood bath], but they basically tell the Strokes that they should probably retire (like the White Stripes and LCD Soundsystem) so that ppl remember their legacy:
As news about the Strokes' shaky resurgence has continued to flow over the last few months, two of the group's contemporaries chose to bow out. The White Stripes-- who faced off against the Strokes in a friendly Coolest Band Alive competition for a few years in the early aughts-- officially broke up after a hiatus on February 2 in order to "preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way." Meanwhile, fellow wry New Yorkers LCD Soundsystem will wrap up their run April 2 at Madison Square Garden. As it happens, that's just one day after the Strokes will play the same venue to kick-start their second life. Everybody wants to quit while they're ahead. Some actually do it.
Should The Strokes 'retire'?
are they 'way past their prime'?
Have they ruined their brand/legacy?
Is this Strokes album 'good' or 'bad' or 'not that bad'?
Is the indiesphere 'done waiting' for the Strokes to re-discover their '2k0-2k2 swag'?
Have the Strokes gone 2 buzzband heaven or buzzband hell?
I just saw the new Pitchfork Music Festival logo, and it looks pretty alt. Like it might be the background .jpg to my new indie underground altered zone wave blog that also has a vintage minidisc label... Sure it looks alt... but is it 'mainstream enough' to really present the p4k brand to the mainstream bro type? Can they really 'slap that bad boy on a t-shirt and sell the hell out of it' to all of the lamestreamer Midwesterners who go 2 Chicago for Lollapalooza?
I sorta miss the old vibe...
Always <3 making up my old fonts when I am bored in class.
This seems kinda chill too
Stencils are pretty chill. One time I spraypainted address numbers on curbs just to pick up a little bit more cash.
Do yall <3 the new redesign / rebrand?
Is this 'worse than the GAP logo'?
Is the new logo 'branded' enough in a mainstream lamestream way, or did they make it 100% alt?
Is the redesign 'brilliant' or does it leave u 'wanting more'?
R u an 'arm chair graphic design major' [via having high level design sensibilities]?
R u gonna get ur parents to buy u a 5 day pass 2 this music festy, or will u wait to see honkier bands at Lollapalooza?