I have always wondered what it would be like to have a high-level alt job. Most days, I sit in my cubicle at my lamestream job in a business park, dreaming of what it would be like to have a COVETED job within the meaningful workspaces of one of the most important content farms ever created. I want to be able to be backstage in the VIP area of a relevant music-based event, and be able to say, "I write for Pitchfork. Ever heard of it?" Immediately, a hoard of PR agents and bloggers will do their best to 'get on my good side' because I am an influencer who can MAKE or BREAK their ultimately mediocre band's album. Girls will basically ess my dee, just based on my relevant alt job.
I feel happy to finally know what it looks like inside the walls of Pitchfork's Brooklyn offices.
Pitchfork.com was launched in 1996 by Ryan Schreiber when he had just graduated from high school and was working at a record store; these days, a rave review on the site can practically guarantee a band’s success. But while most would assume the atmosphere at the indie music bible is self-important and smug, it’s actually laid-back and celebratory. In 2005, the small company (made up of 30 employees in its Chicago and Brooklyn offices) curated its first music festival in Chicago and the following year branched out with its annual weekend-long Pitchfork Music Festival. Two years later, the company opened a Manhattan office, and a year after that came a second location—a two-floor loft in Greenpoint that’s just off the BQE. The casual vibe here is intentional, explains Schreiber, who sits among his local staff of about 15 . He favors “[constant] discussion about the music [everyone’s] into,” made easier with a massive, Pitchfork-exclusive server of unreleased tunes.
It seems like they are 'anti-cubicle' so that every1 has their own meaningful workspace. Every1 is vibing on laptops, no Dell desktop computers for these writers and content creators. U have 2 be able 2 create content ON-THE-GO.
Schreibro should definitely have a workstation 'in the back' so that every1 feels scared that he will see them wasting time on the net, and get back 2 work.
I need 2 work in a place where every1 listens 2 great music. My lamestream coworkers have THE RADIO playing all day on our city's worst rock and/or soft rock station. I h8 feeling like I'm at a dentist's office. I need an authentic vinyl-playing machine.
White boards are an authentic way 2 communicate and manage relevant projects. My company recently invested in multi-million dollar project & financial management software. If only they realized that we could get the majority of our work done 'within the cloud' using Google Docs, dropbox, and other web-based services that could really cut down on our overhead. At the end of the day, COMMUNICATION and ENGAGEMENT create a successful business.
The only person with dual monitors in my office is the guy who is programming our new Blackberry app.
Just want a place with kewl posters on the wall. I don't need 2 show off my irrelevant diploma/GED printed-out certificate.
The Pitchfork team occasionally hosts gigs and parties in its office, including two alcohol-brand-sponsored bashes shot for Pitchfork.tv last year featuring performances by Beach Fossils and Dom. “We clear out the space and kind of turn it into a venue,” says Schreiber.
I feel sad
My office space
could not be converted into a relevant venue
“It’s nice to have it not be completely quiet all the time,” says Fluck of Pitchfork’s chatty, play-tunes-at-your-desk atmosphere. “I’ve found that to be an eerie thing at other jobs, when you walk in and everyone [has] headphones [on].”
It seems like they still have a collection of relevant CDs from yesteryear within their offices, or maybe a relevant interior designer altered their zonespace bc digital tactile waste is 'hot' in the design-o-sphere [via mini-disc players]
This bro seems chill, like a bro who I could really stormbrain with, and bounce mad ideas off. I could truly be myself in our meetings, and we could forge the future of sponsored content, without compromising any of the brands involved.
This binder makes me sad bc it reminds me of my job. I want to work in a PDF-file based office.
It would be great to work for a relevant alternative media company one day. People on the internet reading my words. Watching my content. Being INFLUENCED by the influencer that is me. I could send my parents links to my content, and they can finally feel justified in my decision to major in English instead of Business. Pitchfork looks like heaven, and I dream of the day when I can change my 'employment info' on Facebook 2 state that I work somewhere relevant. Ppl will ask me what I do, and my response will cover topics including content creation, writing, video-scaping, brand management, advertiser relations mgmt, and VIP area quality control.
One day I will land my alt dream job.
I am smart, creative, and I have a passion for the arts AND the alts.
This is not just 'a job', this is my lifestyle.
What is the most alt company 2 work 4?
Does p4k seem like a chill place 2 work, or is Ryan Schreiber the slave driver of content farmers?
Do u dig their 'space' or should they do more to make their employees 'feel trapped' in their jobs?
What is ur workspace like?
What is ur alt dream job?
Before I was born
into an authentic alt indie music maker
I heard an old legend / old wives tale
abt some 'cool dad' band called Wilco made an album
that received a 10.0 from Pitchfork
I was still incubating in an alternative womb
and wasn't able to appreciate 'the genius of Jeff Tweedy'
I still don't even know what Wilco sounds like (but I would probably find them 2 be boring)
so I didn't really have any sort of 'foundation' for what 'indie greatness' was
This means my modern life
Has been all about 'searching for that 10.0 buzzband'
Selecting 'unknown' bands before they even have an entire album to sample
Watch them grow
Watch them create new genres/memes/mp3s/mediocre music videos
Watch their debut album get a 8.0 - 8.7
Wait for their second album 2 disappoint/exceed expectations
I wanted 2 be there the whole way
Until a buzzband got a 10.0
Sort of like how u 'root for a sports team 2 win a championship'
It doesn't mean as much when u tune in to the final game
to celebrate as a 'bandwagon fan'
U want to be there opening day of the regular season
I wanted to be there the whole way
Watching a buzzband earn their alt-cred
Tons of bands picked 'the easy way out'
and just 'went mainstream'
instead of 'catering to authentic indie audiences'
Trying to get that 10.0
I guess it makes more sense from a 'financial perspective'
Because u have 2 make money in order 2 buy groceries
Just wish I was born 5 to 10 to 20 years earlier
and started a music website when the internet was 'first learning how 2 blog'
I feel like I have a unique perspective
that can be turned into an editorial site
offering news, reviews, and unique writings
on relevant musical themes
I feel like I could have had the chance to be 'Pepsi'
where p4k = Coca Cola
It seems like all blogs are just a bunch of
In a world where bloggers change their last name to the name of their blog
I wish I could be 'Carles Pitchfork'
and be 1 of the most relevant ppl of all time [link]
Back in the late 2k0s
mainstream media outlets wrote a bunch of articles about how
'a great Pitchfork rating can make or break ur career'
(not sure if that is still true or if Pitchfork ratings are just another internet meme/talking point 4 people who read 2 many blogs)
Felt like they had 'won' the indiesphere
Got 'tons of hits' + mainstream coverage abt how 'indie websites are relevant'
The rest of the internet online indie scene was/is an 'afterthought'
They banded 2gether as a unit 2 battle for relevancy
Tons of lil MP3 blogs began 2 pop up
(way 2 many, probably)
Hype Machine made them a lil more powerful as a unit
But then Hype Machine made them all seem kinda long-tail-y
Then a bunch of crappy lil alt snark blogs emerged that don't really offer that much value
And now we are in a stagnant phase of mp3 blog innovation
the niche exists
People know what they are getting
But maybe it is all 'stale' and 'boring'
now that the buzz + buzzband manufacturing process is so established
Who will offer a disruptive indie-blog experience
and 'take online music journalism'
2 the next level?
I googled the name Ryan Dombal
Because it seems like this is 'the defining moment of his journalistic bloggy life'
Even though I don't know anything abt him
And possibly will never know anything more abt him
It seems like he tweeted abt the reaction 2 his article
Wonder what it feels like
2 monitor twitter
knowing something that u wrote
'resonated' with hundreds/thousands/millions of ppl
Wonder what resonated more
or 'the number'
"Life is all about numbers."
-probably some smart person / business person / mathematician
I never thought I'd live 2 see this day
a 10.0 on a new album
via the Pitchforks
(until Merriweather Post Pavillion is re-issued in 5-20 years)
But I feel 'a little bit effed'
Like there is 'no where to go' now that I have experienced perfection
It would be kinda like of God descended from Heaven
and was like 'Sup it's me--God.'
Then every1 would be like 'well, I guess we know who God is now.'
and there would be no more problems + drama
no more unanswered questions
no reason to keep searching 4 truth
Because God bro was like 'sup, I'm truth'
Perhaps this will lead to a 'reactionary sect'
creating 'even more backlash' [via hits] for the Pitchforks
It might get 'rlly boring'
And no1 will even care any more
Maybe 'white man's indie' has been killed
and mainstream African American hip hop for white people will 'crowd out'
altbro internet market share
We live in a time where humans use tastemaking websites
2 construct their identity
Maybe alternative ppl will 'disconnect' from the internet
now that 'online perfection' has been experienced
We already know that in the 2k10s
only rappers can be 'brilliant' / produce perfection
so groups of 1-4 white dudes
can't make relevant albums any more
As a white skinned bro
Who used to think indie music made me 'unique'
I'm not sure why I am alive any more
I no longer believe that 1 day I will create the_perfect_buzzband
I sorta want to pull a 'reverse Michael Jackson'
and become black
not to play in the NBA/NFL,
but instead to write a relevant album
Somewhat confused about the decision to co-brand with Kanye West
Attaching ur credibility 2 Kanye West
unless u think he is gonna 'tragically die'
and then people will overrate him
and they can say 'we were on board b4 he died'
I thought that Kanye West = mainstream
And he didn't really make albums, he just gave outlandish interviews
and generating troll-wave memes
Waiting for a dude to implode/die/commit public sucide/overdose
I guess maybe he is 'more like Radiohead'
where every1 has to say they are 'amazing' whenever they release something
I thought Pitchfork was a place for white skinned people 2 chill
But I guess now they will probs start blogging about video hotties, sneakers, and the NBA
I respect them for going after 'the negro mainstream'
Kanye West represents an amazing land bridge
2 those 'random black avatars on twitter'
who are tweeting about mainstream stuff + trending topics
It takes a socially transcendent moment to remind us what makes life worth living [link]
It might make us think that life is worth giving up on
[via having 'no identity'/no reason to 'go on']
Really don't care abt Kanye West
This is 'just another meme'
in the Top 20 memes of his career
I still rank 'banging Amber Rose' ahead of getting a 10.0 from Pitchfork
"I'd rather pound an ass like that than a 10.0 from Pitchfork' -a bro
Today is not abt Kanye West
Today is about Pitchfork.com
An important day, a celebration of greatness
'making a bold decision'
'shaking up 2k10'
'shaking up the decade'
'shaking up indie'
Taking time 2 celebrate Pitchfork.com's blogzine career
Behind every blog/website is a spirit
and they were waiting for a 10.0
even longer/harder than u were
Back in the day
It used to take a 'revolutionary piece of journalism'
an interview where 'some1 famous said something controversial'
or a 'behind the scenes look at a public figure who is relatively secretive'
to make a splash
It only took one number to transcend the modern state of music journalism
four characters 1 0 . 0
(sorta wonder if they should get the rights to a 10.0 sponsored by a brand)
10.0 brought 2 u by Old Spice / Heineken / Bud Light Amber Wheat
My life is totally different
My life is totally the same
My online existence where I search for relevant bands, albums and mp3s is no longer a journey
I have reached my destination
Should give themselves a 10.0
For winning the battle 4 hits]
The battle for relevant memes
The battle for editorial weight in a world where bloggyspots just post reactionary crap and forgettable mp3s on the reg
Transcending the long tail
and the bottlenecks of content generation
and 'making the leap'
riding the human meme
that is Kanye West
Do u think this 10.0 will 'revitalize' Pitchfork's brand?
Does a 10.0 mean anything to people who already listen to Kanye West?
Is the new Kanye West album 'bold' and 'amazing'?
Do u wish u could be a journalist/blogger/online web presence?
What is the future of online music blogs?
Do u think Pitchfork will take away Wilco's 10.0 because they are white?
When an authentic black artist writes an authentic album, does it 'transcend race' or should it only resonate with 'fellow black ppl'?
R u proud of Pitchfork for 'doing something bold'?
Do u think P4k will ever give a modern buzzband a 10.0 now?
Can a 'crappy new white buzzband' get a 10.0, or does this introduce a theory where u first have to 'go mainstream', then make something that 'is bold/innovative' that makes u more relevant/10.0worthy?
Is Pitchfork 'done' with the Animal Collective brand?
Will ppl begin to associate P4k with Kanye West instead of AnCo?
Does this mean 'less Animal Collective = the face of indie' jokes will ultimately hurt the band?
What's next for mp3 blogs? Will they find a new 'indie darling'?
Is indie music dead?
Do u buy into any of the 'conspiracy theories' abt this 10.0? [link]
Does any1 even 'give a shit' abt p4k ratings any more?
Has pitchfork 'rebranded' and 'opened up a new era' in online journalism + the evolution of their reviews?
Is this the greatest moment in Pitchfork Reviews history?
If Pitchfork could rate ur life, what do u think they would give u?
Pitchfork does feature interview on Skrillex. Has he 'crossed over' 2 indie audiences after being ostracized?By Carles on 28 Mar 2012
Up until today, Pitchfork has taken an anti-Skrillex and anti-American dubstep stance. In the early days, they supported James Blake's minimal bass version of dubstep, but then his buzz sorta died. Now, Skrillex has 'taken over' the modern American music zeitgeist, managing 2 appeal 2 mnstrm vibes AND moderately alt vibes. There's been a whole wave of old ass indie journalists doing dumb 'pieces' where they 'went to a Skrillex show', 'felt old', then 'gave Skrillex his due' for recapturing the authentic essence of music, even though it clashes with the old live-music-experience paradigm that is basically just 'white dudes with guitars, now with a few more bleep bloops.'
Anyways, he was 'featured' in a Pitchfork interview, so u have 2 wonder if P4k is going to start 2 'bail' on fringe/fake buzzbands, and instead focus on dubstep, music that ravers listen 2, and everything else that cool dad, white, indie NPR listeners are not really used 2. In a way, u have to say that Pitchfork is moderately responsible for the memefication of Skrillex into some 'joke meme', just the face of a rave scene for people who wanted to do molly and dress in small clothes, disregarding his art over the course of his rise to post-relevancy, Grammy wins, and mainstream fame.
Pitchfork: Do you have any theories about why you've been singled out as somebody that people hate?
SM: If you try to understand, that's diving in and reading what people say about you, and you can't do that because, fuck man, it's strange. It causes a stigma. For a long time, I was so oblivious to it because I play these shows and everyone's having a great time. I remember doing my first big Skrillex interview, where I talked with the writer for hours. We touched on everything. And then they chopped it down to a one-minute thing with the headline: "Skrillex Talks Back to the Haters" and it got like a million views. They made it look like I was just defending myself the whole time. It's strange because, before someone has a chance to have their own opinion about you, they already have an opinion about you. That's the thing about press and media, it's out of your control.
It's a shame. People are like, "Oh, I heard about him, he's the crazy dubstep guy," and they listen expecting that. But if you take a step back from the different connotations and you observe things for what they are... there are a lot of artists that might be misunderstood. If anything, I just want people to actually have their own opinions about me. I don't care if people hate me. I mean, I get it. When you were young, you were like, "The Backstreet Boys are gay!" And kids are on computers now. I'll post something on Facebook, and then, within two seconds, there are comments: "Fuck you dude... you suck... pussy... bitch... faggot... you ruined dubstep... emo." But if you look at their profiles, they're so young. To everyone else on the street, there's this really elitist, big group of haters everywhere. But fine. No offense to young kids.
To me, it's all about making music and playing shows. I think it's healthy to talk about why something is better or worse, but everything's connected with that, too. Like, I see someone take a photo of me and they [start typing on their cellphone] and they're putting it on Twitter and Facebook, and it's tagged "Skrillex," and now there are more people talking about me right away. It creates this discussion about so many things, but I guess that's just how it is.
Why didn't Skrillex initially appeal 2 Pitchforkian NPR markets? Is it just a matter of a new generation of 'young people' getting into something new that 'old people' can't call their own?
Has P4k 'caved' 2 the fame and success of Skrillex?
Does this mean random ass Brooklyn buzzbands are in danger of no longer being covered?
Is EDM 'taking over the world'?
Has Skrillex + America 'prevailed'?
Has Skrillex been 'ostracized' unfairly from the white man's indie scene?
Will Skrillex get a 10.0 from P4k?
Are they just being nice to him because he has a song with Kanye West coming out in the immediate future?
Is EDM 'kicking out' indie music?
Is 'indie' over/a dead dream?
Was Skrillex discriminated against?
R u going to listen to EDM so that you are no longer forced to listen to NPR and boring stuff like Bon Iver?
Has Skrillex 'grown on u' after unfair ostracizing him based on internet meme hatred?
Did 'indie music' get boring and overhyped anyways?
Is indie music 'too honky'?
Is Skrillex OFFICIALLY the Prince of Dubstep?
Is Skrillex the current sound of America + rocknroll?
I guess Skrilly was right... rocknroll will take us 2 the mntn top...
Sometimes I wonder 'what is the future of the blogosphere?' Will ppl get bored reading boring blog posts with boring words, pictures, videos, and widgets? What can we do to make the 'live concert experience' completely obsolete and offer consumers a way to stay home and still feel like they are at a live concert, except without all of the hassles that come along with the live experience.
Pitchfork seems to be launching Pitchfork 3D at SXSW to 'take the mp3 blog experience 2 the next level.' I am not sure what all of these ppl are watching. Maybe they are watching a buzzband in 3D. Or just some video. I am not sure. The only buzzband I have seen in 3D is the Avatars, fronted by iconic indie songstress Sigourney Weaver.
Do u wish u were at SXSW to be the first person to experience tons of kewl tech startup launches and cobranded deals?
Will Pitchfork.3d 'save' the music blogosphere?
Will other blogs and websites have 2 go '3d'?
Will we be able to read Pitchfork without 3D glasses in 2k11.5?
R u exited about the 3D era of the blogosphere, or is it getting 'too corporate and mainstream'?
Do u think that the era of 3D TV/internet will 'pan out' or are there just too many annoying elements 2 make it a viable entertainment medium?
Was Avatar a 'big pile of blue poop'?
Pitchfork is a popular internet reviewing service that 'rates' modern indie music bands and sometimes hip hop bands to seem 'kewl and trendy.' Anyways, Sufjan Stevens is a folkwave indie artist who 'crushed it' with a couple of definitive indie songs that were used in meaningful indie movies. If he wanted to 'go mainstream' he would just mimic the formula, but instead he decided to get all artsy fartsy and made a bleepy bloopy electro album.
Since he is a relevant indie artist of the meaningfulcore era (2k4-2k6), it is impossible for indie critics to 'throw him under the bus' / euthanize him, so all of these formative indie presences keep getting 'high scores' even though their music isn't valuable 2 culture any more. Sorta just a celebration of 'hey--remember when we used to like this music/person?' Now it is just kinda an awk relationship, like 'dude--can u make them sound like they used to instead of going all MGMT on us, bro?'
They start off by trying to really sell the angle that Sufjan is 'finally free', being himself, and even saying 'the F-word' on some mp3s:
With his sixth proper album, Sufjan Stevens does battle with what we've come to expect from a proper Sufjan Stevens album. This time, instead of painstakingly humanizing the locations, historical inhabitants, and trivia of a certain slab of America, he's more concerned with his own state of mind. Banjos are out; moody electronics, deep bass, and drums that burst like geysers are in. The lengthiest song title on his last LP, 2005's Illinois, was 53 words long; here, that same superlative goes to a tune called "I Want to Be Well". He's whispering less, hollering more. And at the climax of The Age of Adz, the devout Christian and poster boy for mannered indie-dude sensitivity shouts, "I'm not fuckin' around!" no less than 16 times. Believe him.
Here is some part where they use the term 'Brooklyn-dwelling', evolving beyond the phrase 'Brooklyn-based.'
Yet, there is no mistaking this as a work by the Detroit-born, Brooklyn-dwelling overachiever.
R u depressed that Sufjan has 'lost it'?
Should he retire and get a job as a State Farm insurance agent?
Here is a paragraph where we find out that Sufjy is a 35 year old single cool dad, and that the reviewer thinks that Illinois got 'hella gay' when the mainstreamers found out abt it [via indie movies].
Because The Age of Adz is a relatively dark affair, with the 35-year-old songwriter sometimes forgoing his child-like naïveté for something more oblique and adult. Considering the triumph of style that was Illinois (and the legions of lesser lights that subsequently turned it into some sort of over-the-top Disney on Ice parody), the change of perspective is welcomed.
It just closes out with the usual crap, like 'If u listen to this a lot, u will start to like it. Sufjan is the real deal. This album is a grower.'
But instead of succumbing to trends, Stevens barrels through with another long-form work that requires-- and rewards-- time and devotion. As important questions about music's worth in the age of free continue to swirl around him, Sufjan's still combating instant-gratification culture the best way he knows how.
Did The Age of Adz 'effing blow'?
Is Sufjan in a dark place?
Should he have just stuck 2 writing meaningfulcore folk songs?
Did Sufjan miss out on an opportunity to 'go mainstream'?
Did u even listen to this album, or can u guarantee it is poopy?
Do yall drink beer? Do yall listen 2 buzz bands? The popular website Pitchfork Media has created a SXSW flyer meme that is meant to appeal to beer drinkers who are in2 buzz bands. SXSW hosts over 300,000 parties 1-2 weeks, so it is important to create flyer that generates 'tons of internet buzz.' Their flyer has come under intense scrutiny from buzz band fans, beer fans, and graphic designers from all over the world.
Wonder if the Neon Indian bro will be offended that they branded him as a brown skinned savage according to his little picture?
Worried that Pitchfork h8s Native American savages [via Cowboys and Injuns].
Washed Out = Coors Light? Never tried it, but have heard it was a watered down frat boy beer.
Are these beer memes 'half assed' by a design intern, or did they 'waste money' by hiring a creative agency 2 do this? Do yall think that this flyer is better than the identity work done for the Videogum + Stereogum brands?
We can only assume that this flyer was made to 'go viral', but more importantly, appeal to the non-music fans who are in the Austin Area for SXSW. It seems like they will probably be technology bros who 'like premium beers.' They will see this flyer, then think that there will be premium beer for free if they attend.
The Windish Agency is one of the elite alternative booking companies for most relevant artists. We can only assume that this party collaboration with Pitchfork represents some sort of monopoly/collusion between two mega entities in the indiesphere.
Will these beer companies 'sue the fuck out of Pitchfork' for parodying/exploiting their brands?
Will any of these buzz bands replace their logos with one of these brand parodies?
Will a buzz band denounce their
What is the worst flyer in the history of the world?
Do yall support of denounce this flyer?
Is Pitchfork going to try 2 'take over' Texas during SXSW? Worried about this imagery.