old people | Hipster Runoff

old people

Are old ppl 'the future of music journalism'?


I recently watched this video of some old broad interviewing the popular 2k9core buzzband Neon Indian. (Note: Neon Indian has also been lumped into the now defunct "chillwave" genre by web pundits and blogzines.) It's kinda weird to see this old lady in a position that so many younger alts would love to be in. I feel like since MTV created the VJ (video jockey), there has been a demand for 'a person who looks like they are kewl/'in a band'' to interview the actual band. The interaction of two 'interesting/kewl' personal brands are meant to create synergy, making the interview seem 'really kewl', like two inherently-fascinating people who genuinely respect one another interacting to build a scene/brand.

Feel like this ceremony of bros between Bradford Cox (indie musician) and John Norris (MTV alt journalist) is sort of 'the gold standard' in two bros simulating a stimulating convo, inspiring 'common-folk' to connect with their brands.


2 bros // laughing // sharing // being relevant
makes me yearn /// 2 be close to 'the music'/'scene'/'city'
becoming bros with musicians // and learning the stories behind the music
///creating the stories behind the music ////

I have always read that being a 'music journalist' is sorta a coping mechanism for not being a talented/buzzworthy musician, therefore you should always take any sort of reviews/widely-read opinions with a 'grain of salt.' Music Writer Bros use the opportunity to let the world know that they understand what makes a 'great band', even though they don't necessarily have the technical skills or personal connections to legitimize a music career on a level that they would find to be respectable. Fortunately, in our modern world, the music journalist/blurber/blogger has an important role in 'creating content', and sometimes can be more (self-)important than the actual musician. I am not sure if it is still 'romantic' 2 be connected to artists, since most of them end up being shitty/uninteresting/boring/strategic/simple people, and the ones 'worth getting to know' usually end up talking about charity/global causes.

I wonder if the old_hag interview is more/less 'compelling' than if some other alt person interviewed Neon Indian. It seems like when some standard alt 'talking head' interviews a bro, it sort of takes away from the artist for participating in such a hokey procedure just to get 'press' ---> get attention from lesser-connected people. I possibly find the old_lady+neon_indian_bro video 'refreshing', because it shows how disconnected and lost old people are. Maybe it kinda says 'Interviews are rlly stupid and no1 asks original questions', so it might be a better format to have clueless old ppl

Worried about growing older, losing relevancy, but this sorta gives me hope that I can still find a way to be appreciated by young, trendy ppl even when I am old. Worried about getting dementia/alzheimer's and losing all of my memes/memories. Going to start taking life more seriously, appreciating NOW. There is no guarantee that the dementia-core genre will take off when the Neon Indian bro turns 72 and releases his 24th EP.

Wonder if AnCo will still be able to 'show growth' as musicians past age __, or if they will plateau?
Will we live 2 experience alzheimer-core unintentionally lofi retirement community bedroom rock?
What do u look for in a 'good interview'?
Who is the greatest living music journalist/indie-writer/weblogger/zine-page-creator?
Do u want to be a music journalist 2 get closer 2 the music?
Is it kewl to 'stand in the front' at shows since u r legitimately 'close 2 the music'?

What will alternative people look like in 2k45?

Photo via advancedstyle

Sometimes I wonder what we will be like when we're old, yall. Like will we still be the same size, and still look the same? Will we have grey/gray/white hair/go bald? Will we be like 'suddenly everything has changed' [via the Postal Servicing]? I feel inspired to 'stay young 4evr' by this beautiful old woman wearing an altbro colour palette.

I hope that when I'm old, I'm still able to stay 'fresh.' I just want to be kewler than my kids and grand kids, and I don't really want to let them experiment with trends that are doomed 2 fail. I just want them to be a lot like me, and if they ever stray from the path of authenticity, I will lash out at them, like I am deeply disappointed in 1 of their life decisions. Not sure if I even want them to be successful, but I think I just want to know that they aren't 'wasting their glory days.' Miss being seventween, yall.

1 day I will be on my deathbed (wearing Am Appy)
and I will look back on my life
and I will say 'i was a chill ass bro
who just wanted to have a good time
and there's nothing wrong with that'

Scared about getting old, yall. Don't want to lose 'the most important' parts of 'me.'
What do yall wanna be like when u grow up and are about 2 die?

The Oldest AltBro Alive

What happens when an altBro grows up?
If yall are familiar with high end AltBro theory, then u will know that altBros are typically destined to die alone. AltBros can either 'stay alt' their whole lives since they can't hold down GFs bc no altBro is special enough for any girl to 'settle down with' for more than consecutive weekends for two months.

An AltBro's alternative essence can live as long as he wants, but he will be alone (spiritually and physically) for over 95% of his lifetime. (The few moments of tug may give him enough hope to want to stay alt forever). His wardrobe might stay the same, or it might tweak into an 'alternative business casual + receding hairline', but the altBro will die alone.

An altBro will never become a Cool Dad without ditching his careless altBro mindset. An altBro is not willing to sacrifice his hard earned money to buy essentials for his son/daughter. He is also not mature enough to

If an altBro hasn't transitioned into an altBag by age 27 (or his 6th year of undergrad), then he needs to seriously consider retiring his alternative ways and searching for meaning [via mainstream relationship]. If you're a worried altBro, just enjoy your time, but know that there are critical decisions ahead of you. Know that you need to differentiate before it's too late.

[Photo by TheBrobrasnake]

I am just an altBro. I am not ready for a relationship. I am not ready for responsibility.
I am ready for the weekend. I am ready for my favourite blog 2 update.

[photo by thefriendattack]

Read more altbro theory

Is n e 1 else afraid of being murdered/dying?

[Photo by Preggers Goldfish]
Some people fear death. Some people fear murder.
I think it would be terrible to die at the hands of:
a) an altClown JasonMasked sneakerfreak with a tat sleeve & a necklace designed by Masterlock
b) an escapee from an alternative asylum where the mandatory wardrobe includes eye makeup masks, a straight jacket by Marc (via Marc Jacobs) and some kutesy striped undies
c) an AZN DJ
d) a failed alt
e) a festivalBro on LSD during a Jack Johnson/Crystal Castles Show
f) a trivial electro producer who was angry that his track was only blurbed about once on a now defunct blog that posted pretty much anything
g) a hipsterrunoff// commenter
h) a child predator
i) an alt in Child Predator Glasses
j) Choose.Your.Own.Murderer


[Photo by AltaMira NYC]
In the future, retirement homes will be replaced with scooters and old people will be given Amazon Kindles by the government.

The Amazon Kindle: It's like a book on a screen, and u can read blogs on it too!

I wonder if they I can plug it into my iPod FeistChromatics Nano and get my iPod to speak the words in the book.

Orange U Kinda Keut!

[GINGER ALERT] (possibly NSFW if u work in an anti-ginger environment)

[Photo by JustGlitterLust]

My favourite part about fashion is that it is a word that describes when people wear clothes. That means every1 is fashionable, kind of like that one party pix site (everyoneisfamous.com). It doesn't matter who u r or what u look like, u have the ability to put on clothes. Life is beautiful, yall.

Whether u r young or old, u can put on clothes and have dreams of being fashion blogged about. There is hope for every1. Let's start watching Project Runway every week and think seriously about attending design school in a major metropolitan area.

Which of the following is true about old people?
a) they don't know what the internet is
b) they think cameras can capture souls when they take ur pic
c) they don't believe in homosexuality
d) they call blogs 'websites'
e) they call websites 'internet explorer pages'
f) they only eat in buffet-style restaurants
g) they demand excessive service at restaurants
h) they will be eliminated in the electro wars
i) Choose.Your.Own.Response

[The Street Walker]

God Bless the Young At Heart

Do you think she went home with an alternative bro?
Should there be a party pic age limit?
Does having an Old Maid on your party pic site ruin the site's brand?
Will you be in Party Pix when you are older than 40?
What would U do if ur mom ended up in a party pic, then ended up on HRO?
Do you think her clothes are actually pretty cute & retro?

[Photograph by Every1 Is Famous]

Speaking of Old People, does this movie make you excited about getting older? Life is a celebration, yall, and beauty does not equal youth...

I wonder if those old people can sing Justice's "Phantom Pt II."
What would U wanna see them sing 4 u?

(Editor's Note: Assume that they will learn songs in exchange for prunes and Vanilla Wafers).

Some old man vlogs about how he is out of touch with the modern world + new music

Andy Rooney speaks about contemporary music and how he is losing touch with today's popular artists. Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and Usher? It's All A Mystery To Andy!


Andy Rooney is an anchor on the popular TV show 60 Minutes, and they basically give him a few minutes per week to 'say something insightful or funny.' He seems like the type of bro who they gave a job to back when they had tons of money to throw around, but now he just keeps showing up, so they have to pay him as some sort of 'memorial' to the way the industry/journalism/television used to work. Feel like even if his pieces were once insightful, his segment has probably just turned into the vlog of a person who is slowly dying, and becoming less culturally aware/significant by the week.

In this recent vlog, he starts out by claiming he is 'a very mainstream American' because he is white, has a family, served in the military, and other normal ass stuff that makes you a generic American consumer. Then he says he read Billboard magazine (not sure if he knows how to use a computer), and he said he didn't recognize any of the top 200 artists. I think he was trying to probably make the point that 'dumb kids don't know shit abt good music.'

He went on to name drop Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and Usher, then laughs in disbelief because he is 'just an ordinary American', but these popular artists don't resonate with him. Think he forgets that he is a senior citizen and doesn't use the internet, probably. Even Larry King does his best 2 tweet.

I feel bad for this bro. Like if his kids loved him, they would 'keep him in touch' with pop music, and give him a preloaded iPod.
Do old people who try to make a point just sound like they are just 'bitching' that too much stuff has changed?

Feel like it is naturally that old people listen to old ass boring music, and tweens listen to shitty, inconsequential new music. Think this bro should 'get over it' and quit 'bitching' on national TV. Overall, this content 'made me sad' because I just get kinda sad whenever I see an old person do anything because it reminds me that one day I will be old, unhealthy, irrelevant, and abt 2 die.

Is Jim Carrey the most authentic 60 Minutes anchor of all time?


The show 60 Minutes seems like a terrible national extension of the local news, or something, but I guess the people who still watch TV are old and about to die, and probably related to this segment.

Do u feel sad when old people talk about new music?
Are the bands that I like now the bands that I will like forever, or will I continue searching for buzzbands until I die?
Is it 'worth it' to be culturally connected if u just find out abt shitty music?
Should I become a journalist and get a job on 60 minutes / 48 hours / nightline / Anderson Cooper 360?
Do you have any good buzzband reccs for Andy Rooney?
Do 'talking head' journalists who are trying to shed some light on a cultural phenomenon that they are unqualified to talk abt just make u kinda sad?
Do u hope u get dementia / Alzheimer's when you get old so u don't have to worry about remaining mainstream, alt, or culturally relevant?

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