Katy Perry | Hipster Runoff

Katy Perry

My parents took my spoiled tween ass 2 a Katy Perry concert.

Photos By The Cobrasnake


Dear Mom,

I'll never forget the time that I made all A's, and you followed thru with your promise. You would take me and one of my friends to go see Katy Perry at the local professional basketball arena. I had been listening to Katy Perry a lot, and this was surely going to be the greatest present any one could have given me since that time you got me tickets to the Monster Ball with Larry Gaga. Even though the seats were crappy, I forgave u because you bought me a sweet t-shirt and Little Monster livestrong bracelet.

Thanks again,
Your Spoiled Tween Daughter/Spoiled Tween Son who 'might be prematurely gay' but no1 is allowed 2 say anything.

PS: OMG CHILL OUT MOM

I wish my parents had 'industry connections' so that the pop stars had to 'kiss my parents ass' by kissing my ass

'We took tomorrow off from work so we could pregame with margaritas and even hit the local strip mall club by our apartment complex!'

We're ToTaLLy "California Gurlz"

Thank God my Gay Uncle Hank is a huge Katy Perry fan. I don't know why my dad hates him so much. :-(

CONTINUE CHECKING OUT KATY PERRY TWEENS>>>>

INDIE GONE MAINSTREAM: GRAMMY 2K11 RECAP

Another year, another crappy awards ceremonies where mainstream celebs try to throw down memes that get blogged about as indie music fans 'wish for' acceptance from mainstreamers. But this year, indie 'finally got recognized' and now every1 has mixed feelings. Seems like it is just time 2 start consuming indie + mainstream music 'side-by-side.'

2k11: The Year of the ArFi

"We did it." -the Arcade Fire
arcade fire grammy win on stage regine

Here is the moment where Barbara Streisand announces that they won and Win is like "What the Hell?" Kinda pissed at him for thanking Canada even though he is from Houston and the Suburbs of America are what inspired him 2 write this album. Really an unchill move by him.

</embed>

Also Regine babbled something in French. Sorta needs to realize how 2 respect America + the American indie dream.

"Ur telling me the ginger bro gets his own Grammy statue? I thought they got 1 and they had 2 share it."

They 'hid' Regine on drums, which was probably a good call instead of letting her sing Sprawl II and ruining any opportunities they had 2 convert new fans.

Here is the Arcade Fire performing "Month of May" as sweet ass BMX bikers ride around on stage. Wonder if this is some sort of co-branding with the X-Games or something. If the Arcade Fire hadn't won Album of the Year, this would have set indie back at least 30 years.

///just wanna ride my BMX trick bike
///out of suburbia
</embed>

Really felt like at that point Arcade Fire 'wasnt gonna win shit' bc they were marginalized the a crappy BMX helmet cam gimmick, but after the win of Esperanza Spalding, u know that 'the academy' was ready to vote for alt picks.

'At least it provided a great moment for Win + Regine's relationship.'

Not sure if this is Win Butler or a member of Slipknot
win butler slipknot hair

...yeah... yalls sex is on fire...

Anyways, the only other indie thing 2 happen at the Grammies was the Vampire Weekends showing up and losing
vampire weekend at the grammys

And Zooey Deschanel showed up without Ben Gibbard (trouble in paradise)?
zooey deschanel grammies


Let's move forward with mainstream celeb sightings + commentary...

SLUTWAVE COVERAGE

...because America <3s boobs, asses, nips, and vag-es....

Lady Gaga showed up in some egg
Lady Gaga egg grammys

Lady Gaga rode slutwaves during some live performance of her new song. Came out of an egg.
</embed>

Here is Lady Gaga coming out of her egg.

Here she is winning an award but no1 cares abt what she is saying because we already saw what she is wearing

'We get it. Ur zany. Kewl.' [via dick tracy]

Katy Perry: I wish I arrived in an egg.

Katy Perry: I wish I had integrated an egg in2 my performance

Miley Cyrus parties with a bro who fingerbanged her later in the nite

Rihanna Riding mad slutwaves in a recycled Christmas tree dress

Rihanna trying 2 make Chris Brown jealous bc he knows Drake 'already hit that.'

Wish Xtina Aguilera 'cared abt her career' as a slutwaver and lost 20 lbs and got drrrty again instead of going for the 'BBW Aretha Franklin vibes' [via Jimmy John's late nite sub snacks]

Nicki Minaj tries 2 ride slutwaves but will nvr be as 'hot' as Rihanna / Beyonce

Oprah tries 2 rebrand as a slutwaver

Hayley Williams from Paramore dresses like a skank because she doesn't know the difference between 'pseudo-real' awards shows and the MTV family of Awards shows

TWEEN COVERAGE

...because Justin Bieber is one of the most famous ppl on the planet ever...

Here is Justin Bieber letting Will Smith's son rap on his song. Unfortunately, Jaden Smith can't rlly rap as well as his father [via Gettin Jiggy Wit It]

CONTINUE READING THE HRO GRAMMY RECAP>>>>

Arcade Fire

Buzzband

The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.

Read more>>>>

Which mnstrm broad will be 'big in 2k9'?

Yall.
Kinda tired of 'alt shit.' I need 2 ask questions that appeal 2 more people.

Who do yall think will be 'big in 2k9'? Kinda like a girl that 'every1 wants 2 tug 2.' Yall know what I mean.

I have a feeling that Natalie Portman might 'get famous' in 2k9. She was in popular movies like the Garden States, and I think she played Keanu Reeves' lovemate in The Matrix.

Another up and coming singer is the Katy Perrys. This is a picture of her before she 'rebranded' into a semi-attainable moderately alt broad with 'breasts that u can make love to.' This makes her attractive to men without isolating her from female markets.

I have also heard of this new mainstream band called Lady Gaga. She seems like she is taking 'electro' to the mainstream. She seems really unique, fashionable, and talented. Think she really 'gets' what life/dance music is all about.

I am not sure if I like her zany personal brand, or if she should have stuck with her 'Sexie New Jerseyian' brand.

Another person who I think will be big in 2k9 is The Jessica Simpsons. She used to be a reality star, but now she is starting to sing country music. She has a beautiful voice and is very talented. She invented 'mom jeans' in the early 00s.

Another band 2 watch is The Girl Talks. Now that they have officially 'become popular' and 'mainstream', we have 2 see if they are going to slip down in2 a spiral of ___________. R yall worried? What happens to ex-authentic alts when they become commoditized + mainstream?

Another band 2 watch is The Ches. They are a communist anti-establishment rock group. They sing about ideas like 'communism' and 'fascism' and 'hipsterism' and 'war' and 'death' and other stuff that sounds like Linkin Park.

N e ways... just wanted 2 let yall know what's going on in 'mainstream world' since sometimes we forget that there's all of these other people out there who like stuff that's less interesting than 'us.'

h8 mainstreamers, but u kinda have 2 follow it a little bit so that you make sure that you're still alt, and not 'becoming one of them.'

Who do yall think will be big/go mainstream in 2k9? What do yall know about these bands/acts/people that I don't know about? Need yalls help so that I can keep my blog 'modern.'

When Creatures are Integrated In2 Fashion


I wonder who this mainstreamer-gone-mainstream-alt thinks she is. Why r people so obsessed with Pandas? Is it bc they are AZN? Is it bc of the popular indie band 'The Panda Bears (ft. the Animal Collective)'?

I just don't get it. Maybe it's bc I just turned 18, so I'm not 'young & naive' n e more. Why do people wear creatures/animals? I'd rather wear apparel featuring my favourite alternative celebrities.

Katy Perry has a SEXI lil NIP SLIP! Oh no BB!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! U'll always be my fave #California_Girl! But that doesn't mean u have to go showing off ur cha-chas!

That's honestly #Emberressing. I remember 1 time I accidentally slipped my nip during an important office meeting. Every1 started pointing and laughing. I was humiliated, ran out of the office, grabbed the Egg McMuffin that I had in my desk, and ran out of the office, never to ever return ever again. But Katy has very respectable nipples, while mine are HUGE and look like DINNER PLATE SAUCERS. It is emberressing to take my shirt off when I am intimate with a man, but I guess that never really happens, so I hope the next guy I am with likes me for me and doesn't judge my body deformalities. #No_H8

Katy! When's the next album droppin'? Let's hang soon plz! <3 u gurl!

I really hope that Katy and Skrillex can be happie 2gether 4evr.

Larry Gaga who? #TeamKittyPurry
Whole b00b who? #TeamNipSlip

#KittyCats

Katy Perry spotted canoodling with Skrillex. Are they the next big celeb couple?

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Photos by The Cobrasnake

Katy BB! I was SO sad when u and Russell broke up because I thought that he was REAL good for you because I like a man who can make me laugh. But who is that MYSTERY MAN?

Is that popular alternative EDM dubstep DJ? I am totally just now getting into dubstep because it makes me want to dance. Honestly, I'd never go to a rave because I am at least 35 years older than the people that actually go, but maybe I should check out that new phenomenon of electric music made with machines. #TeamSkrilly I ALWAYS love dancing to new music at the club because it is also a good way to burn calories but then I get embarressed and out of breath and sweaty because of how horribly out of shape I am. I need to apply for federal aid to get a scooter soon.

I honestly just hope Katy is happie, no matter who she ends up with but if any1 is mean 2 her or cheats on her, then I will be sad. I cried at the end of the Katy Perry 3D Movie.

PLEASE do not tell me ur canoodling with the uggo on the right of this picture. He looks scary!

I wanna hang with ur friends! Invite me 2 ur next party, Katy BB!

PLEASE do not invite the scary guy. Is he the one who sings #Daughters? He looks like he got really old and ugg. Honestly, sorta reminds me of how I looked at age 20, then by age 30 I looked old, disgusting and decrepit.

I just hope u and #Skrillem are #happy together. That's all I ever wanted, for my best celeb (friends) to be happie.

Keven Federline who? #TeamSkrillex

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Read more>>>>

NSFW: Katy Perry has a BUTT SLIP, shows off her whole BIG, BEAUTIFUL ASS CRACK!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! OH effing NO! I can see ur entire butt!

Did u go to the wave pool? That sounds fun! Actually, I almost died in a wave pool, drowning. I was literally just caught in the undertow, sorta like that Linkin Park song! Then I went under, and I couldn't breathe and I prob shouldn'ta been in the deep end bc I can only doggy paddle and do the dead man's float. I would be SO EMBERRESSED if my butt came out of my bathing suit. I always feel like there is a log of poo hanging out of my ass crack, so it makes me extra paranoid. Plus I get raw ass from not wiping my poo and period sometimes, so it feels like a huge slush of brown gunk.

Actually, Katy's butt is kinda nice so she shouldn't EVEN worry. Mine is disgusting, covered in pimples, cottage cheese, and other brown spots that I have to get checked out by a medical profesional. I will ALWAYS be a #KatyCat despite this #scandal! I hate the media! They make everything a big deal when it is not!

I hope Katy gets her privacy, even at the wave pool. She deserves it....

Look at that DISGUSTING peeping tom!

He needs to mind his own GODDAMN business! He's a FATTIE McFATFAT himself!

Ugh I can be so mean sometimes. I need to stop #fat_shaming, #moob_shaming and #cyberbullying ppl I don't even know. He is probably actually real nice and happy to see Katy, just like me. I hope he doesn't OBSESS over her #BUTT like a disgusting teen boy.

LarryGaga who? #TeamKaty!
Alanis Morasette who? #TeamKatyPerry

Anthony Gonzalez of M83 wants to write Katy Perry's next album 2 go more mainstream


M83 played at Coachella, and it was clear that "Midnight City" is a lamestreamer magnet. So much so that Katy Perry stood in the audience and tweeted about how TOTALLY EPIC M83 is. Anyways, since it is being blogged about, and M83 is becoming this 'hot, new mainstream indie band', blogs are pretending that they are 'going to collab.'

Anthony Gonzalez, frontman of M83 decided to take the meme to the next level by pleading to the internet to contact Katy Perry, letting her know that he wants to produce her next album. Hopefully she can just get what she truly wants: Purchasing a "Midnight City" sample, completely bastardizing the song, leaving every one pissed off.

Here is some bullshit 'music journalism' by some random MTV blog, even though this will probably never happen:

M83's Anthony Gonzalez has taken his widescreen electronica on the road with the likes of Kings of Leon and the Killers. He's recorded a double-disc answer to the Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and has even seen his work show up in the occasional Miley Cyrus song.

But after his set at the Coachella festival this past weekend (yes, there were artists besides Holo-Tupac that performed), he's really dreaming big: He wants to make Katy Perry's next album.

"I think I saw Katy Perry dancing [to] 'Midnight City' yesterday night," Gonzalez wrote on his Facebook page following his performance. "Katy, let me write your next album!"

For the uninitiated, "Midnight City" is the fantastic single off M83's dynamic 2011 double album, Hurry Up, We're Dreaming, and yes, Perry was right in front when Gonzalez played it (here's photographic proof). And following the performance, Perry tweeted, "M83 ONLY." But does any of that mean a collaboration between the two might be in the works?

Should Anthony Gonzalez just 'motorboat' Katy Perry?
Do u <3 when mainstream celebs and alt celebs 'pander' to one another to obtain 'cred'?
Should Katy Perry join M83?
Should we all just kill ourselves b4 this collab comes 2 fruition?
Is M83's "Midnight City" the song of the decade?

M83

M83 is a French is a post-shoegaze, pre-dreamwave buzzband.

Read more>>>>

Katy Perry watches M83 at Coachella. Is the city her church?


Coachella is a relevant music festival where tons of mainstream celebs show up to watch mostly mainstream headliners, but they also 'stop by' to see buzz indie-world acts to boost their indie cred. It seems like Katy Perry went to see M83 at Coachella, and did the whole 'fan girl thing' where she acts like it is the best thing in the world, when she probably only really sees some French dude and tons of people banging on shit while bleepy bloops are bleepy blooping. I guess she is just doing her best to not be perceived as 'too mainstream'. Maybe she just did a bunch of molly and ended up in that tent, or something.

Here is some cheesy lamestream blog recap (aka how the mainstream world interprets this meme):

Katy Perry dances the night away at the 2012 Coachella Music Festival on Friday (April 13) in Indio, Calif.

The 27-year-old entertainer jammed out while the band M83 rocked the house! “M83 ONLY” Katy tweeted after their performance.

This begs the question(s)...
Is the city ALSO Katy Perry's church?
Has the church gone mainstream now?
Has the city gone mainstream?
Is M83's "Midnight City" the definitive maltstream anthem post-Young Folks, post-Pumped Up Kicks?
Do u still consider the city ur church?
Do u not want the city to be ur church if Katy Perry is vibing there too?
Is Katy Perry 'trying too hard' to be 'alt'?
Is M83 = mnstrm?
Does Katy Perry look like she is TOTALLY having fun?

M83

M83 is a French is a post-shoegaze, pre-dreamwave buzzband.

Read more>>>>

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

Katy Perry NAILS a cover of 'Niggas in Paris'! Takes it 2 the NEXT_LEVEL

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Katy BB! Oops, u've done it again!

Honestly, I love 'N**** in Paris'! It makes me feel like I'm in the club with Jay and Kanye, except we are in Paris eating crepes! I love crepes because they are like a pancake that u wrap around YUMMY filling! U PERFECTED this song by putting ur SPECIAL mark on it. Honestly, it's sometimes hard to listen to big black men sing and rap because my ex was a scary big, black man. #dont ask

Rap would be WAY better if it was sung by female white women, IMHO. Katy PUTS AN ORIGINAL STAMP on this song, and takes it to the #NEXT_LEVEL. There really is NOTHING she CANNOT do, and on top of that, she has a BANGIN BOD! I honestly wish I had those milkers, but mine are just floppy pancakeys. :-(

u FIXED this song, and MADE IT BETTER, more listenable, and i wouldn't be surprised if it is even MORE successful now, bb! BTW, U look SO effing KEUT in ur viddy! I CANNOT even HANDLE #IT.

Jay-Z and Conway West who?
#TeamKatyPerry!

Katy Perry rocks her PINK hair! I need a makeover ASAP

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! U look good BB!

I wish I was that DARING when it comes 2 appearance! But the truth is, I look the same as I did ten years ago, except for a few (hundred) pounds gained. I wish I was more BOLDER! I made it a resolution to change my body appeerance by HITTING the GYM, and switching up my hairstyle! KP BB, ur new hair color has inspired me to DO BETTER! i will DEFFENITLY be telling the stylist at Fantastic Sams to MAKE ME OVER!

Ur a inspration Katy BB! HOnestly though, I am worried that my hair is thinning due to a problem with my thyroid.

Are those Smart Water bottles? i LUV LUV LOV Smart water! I drink it cause it makes u SMART! and I need all the help I can get when it comes to BRAINS :) srsly tho, water is so much better when it comes in a BOTTLE! (like soda!) I think it's all the added minerals and flavoring. The only problem with water bottles is that I always FORGET which one is mine! That's probly why KP is carrying 2! So in case if she forgets, she can just open a new one!! What a SMART(water) IDEA!!

Honestly I drank a lot of tap water that led to the deterioration of my teeth due to a high amount of calcium and flouride, but at the same time, I drank a lot of sodas....

Katy BB! I can't wait until my hair appt! U are a fashion ICON BB! Luv u! I LOVE the salon bc some1 washes my hair for me.

What color should I dye my hair??

Katy Perry shows off her PERFECT BUTT at the Smurfs premiere!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! Ur skirt is sooo short! Do u realize that ur perfect, firm butt is showing?

Honestly it would be a COMPLETE DISASTER if i wore a mini skirt. Even if the wind didn't blow up my skirt to expose my ass, I've got enough cottage cheese to feed an entire bodybuilding team... Not very pretty but I have looked into procedures to remove it once i lose my weight

1 time my ex, who had his own lawnmowing company accidentally leaf blowered my skirt up. It was such a frightening sight for the homeowner that hired him that he actually fired him, then he broke up with me because he always told me to wear baggy jogging pants but we had a d8 at Chipotle that day so i wanted to look festive and ethnic to match the restaurant.

BB who is that Smurf that ur canoodling with???

I have often fantasized abt cartoon characters, and to be honest, i DID have a phase when I was dating a guy who was really into the whole furry fetish thingy... It WAS weird when he made love to me in animal costumes, but at the same time, it was WILD. Unfortunately he was eventually jailed for taking this fetish 2 far... I dont wanna get into it

Katy LOOKS GOOD and her butt is FIRM and MUSCULAR.

i really really NEED2HITTHEGYM so that my butt can look that GOOD.

Lady GagWho? #Teamkatyperry!

Katy Perry shows off her bangin' bikini bod!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


OMG BB! is that an itsy bitsy, teeny, weeny yellow polka dot bikini??! U bet ur ass it is! And Katy Perry is rockin' it like it's her job.

WEll it kinda is her job 2 stay in shape bc she is a pop star... I wish my job was to stay in shape. Sometimes it feels like the exact oppisite in my life. I sit at my desk all day snacking and my body looks like a tub of goo! No way could i pull off a bikini. Hell, get me a trashbag, bb! My bf bought me a bikini once but i turned out to be a pair of spaghetti drainer thingies.

Katy has THE BEST chachas bc they are beautiful and ALL NATURAL. Implants who? #TeamNatties

I might get my bosom restructured after I lose weight.

Gaga 4nvr! Katy 4evr!

Katy Perry makes out with a giraffe! Ew! H8 beastiality!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB!
What r u thinking??? A giraffe? REally???

Honestly I have been in a very, very dry spell. I haven't been with a man in what feels like decades, and my last ex left me feeling like the least sexual person in the entire world. There have been moments where i have contemplated dark, sexual desires. Fruits. Vegetables. Bed posts. Putting cat nip on my goodies and letting one of my cats have a field day with me.

But honestly i havent orgasmed in so long. I recently purchased a sex machine that looks like a horse saddle. The first time I got naked and sat on it, i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I cried and cried. I was about to have sex with a machine. After that I treated myself to unlimited salad and breadsticks at the Olive Garden and felt a little bit better.

Katy LOOKS EFFING GOOD. AND SHE HAS RUSSRUSS
BB u dont need animals... u have a man

but u look so good even the animals want u
Beastiality who? #TeamHumans

Katy Perry debuts new line of perfume called PURR!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! U LOOK GOOD, but also U SMELL GOOD!!! CANT WAIT for Katy’s new line of perfumes in cat bottles! I LOVE LOVE LOVE perfume.

Sometimes I don’t feel very sexy when I get dressed in the morning because nothing i own really fits me anymore, but then ill spray on a bit of perfume and I feel A LOT more beautiful! I love the sweet stank of celebrities <3

These cat ladies LOOK GOOD too. After my exbf broke up with me I actually bought 4 cats (NOT cat ladies LOL). Im not really a cat person but they DO keep u company when you don’t want to watch TV alone. I am worried I might be allergic to them. Sometimes they DO smell bad and im worried maybe that’s why guys never want to stay the night. My cat honestly loves watching Glee with me.

Maybe I should spray some KATY PERFUME to cover it up!

honestly though I lost my security deposit on my old apt because of the smell of cats, AND because my neighbors called in one too many domestic disturbences.

Katy Perry's breasts looks BOMB ASS on the cover of Vanity Fair

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! U have the BEST body in rock n roll...

I might never reach my dream weight... but at least Katy Perry already has!

I have never read Vanity Fair, but 1 time I went to the state fair, and they had AMAZING food. Fried oreos. Fried pickles. Fried Snickers. Fried catfish. Fried fried. It was REAL GOOD. It was the only date my ex ever took me on, then he said I spent too much money and acted like a pig. ...Maybe he was right.

Katy looks good, bb! Lady Gaga who? #TeamKP

U r CLASSY and TALENTED

Katy Perry and Russell Brand look SO HAPPY at the Arthur movie premiere!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


OMG! Katy and RusRuss look REALLY HAPPY together... I really do believe that they are SOUL MATES...

Katy's breasts look BIG, FIRM and her body is TIGHT and she ultimately LOOKS GOOD, BB!

None of my boyfriends EVER wanted to be photographed with me in public, nor did they ever introduce me to their friends or family. It really hurt. I am jealous whenever I see celeb couples because even though they have tons of tough famous-ppl problems, they are still PROUD 2 be with 1 another... Most of my boyfriends would only take me to a McDonalds drive thru after 11 pm and would always claim to be 'watching the game with the guys' then come over at 3 am smelling like stripper perfume and Coors Light. #assholes

Katy and Russ LOOK GOOD and I think they will be together FOREVER.

Russell is so funny! I love accents. #LOL He does the BEST British accent impression.

Bennifer who? #TeamBrandPerry!

Malstream Celebrity slutwavers Whitney Port, Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton go 2 Coachella 2 try to be alt.


Whitney Port is always quick to give out Coachella fashion tips, but she committed a MAJOR fashion no-no at Coachella 2011... showing off her upskirt panties cooch vagina. While we all would see buzzbands at any cost, perhaps showing off your goodies is 'going too far' to get close to bands and generate Coachella headlines...

Speaking of slutwave hipster hotties, check out this hippie headband that Paris Hilton is sporting. U have to think that she was able 2 sleep with one of the Strokes / Win Butler of the Arcade Fire.

Is there a photographer in the house? Well... kinda. Lindsay Lohan is shooting buzzbands at Coachella, perhaps in an effort to start her own indie music blog.

In addition, slutwave queen Katy Perry was seen looking EXTRA curvy in a free-spirited Coachella top.

All of yall look good, BBs! Maybe next year we can hit up Coachella together, but if u just wanna stay in, I have Netflix Watch Instantly.

This post was written by The Mainstreamer, the world's #1 fan of mainstream celeb gossip, tweens, TGIFrday's potato skins and all things Ben & Jerry's.

********

Which slutwaver looked 'the most alt'?
Is Coachella 'alt' or 'mainstream'?
who 'looks the best'?
Does Whitney Port's upskirt make u hot & creamy?
Did u see any mainstream celebs at Coachella?

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

New Katy Perry and Kanye West Music video for "E.T."! Loves it!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE this new song and music video by Katy Perry ft. Kanye West called "E.T."

Katy Perry has OFFICIALLY outdone Lady Gaga! She is truly the #1 alien slutwave of all time! She looks good, bb! (Even as an alien bb!)

But seriously, I was abducted one time, and the aliens WERE NOT as beautiful as Katy Perry. People think I am crazy, but I swear to God it happened. They stripped me naked and humiliated me, which actually reminds me of the time I was detained after shoplifting and the creep rentacop did a strip search even though he isn't even a REAL police officer. #shady

I LOVE Katy Pery, and I am FINALLY starting to forgive Kanye for what he did 2 Taylor Swift. #such_a_dick

This song is OFF THE CHAIN and I will definitely burn it on a CD and listen to it in my car <3
I LOVE Kanye's Gold Digga because it is #So_TRUE

<3 u Kanye BB
#TeamKatyPerry
Gaga Who? #AliensExist

Katy Perry dyed her hair blue!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Katy BB! What did u do 2 ur hair!

Part of us is scared... But most of us loves it! #TeamKatyPerry

U honestly look sooo fierce.

I wish I had that much confidence, but the most I have ever done is putting some highlights in my hair, but now I really want to do something DIFFERENT that changes the way people think of me. Maybe not blue, but I do need a change in my life.

What color should I dye my hair? I was thinking maybe a tint of red.

#goKaty
gaga who?
#BlueHair4evr

Katy Perry covers "Born this Way" by Lady Gaga! Slutwave Divas can get along!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

As any one who works close to my cubicle can attest to, my JAM OF THE MONTH has been Lady Gaga's "Born This Way."

But what if I told you that KATY PERRY covered that shiznit LIVE. Baby, we were all BORN THIS WAY

#jamoftheyear
#jamofalltime
#jamof4evr

I thought that 2 divas like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga could NEVER get along, but a CLASSY move by Katy to tip her hat to the brilliance of this song!

I used to be really good friends with some1 but then she changed and now we are not friends. Well, it was actually because she stole my boyfriend, but she says we hadn't been dating for 2 years, but I say TRUE FRIENDS DONT DO THAT. Ugh anyways serves her right because he got her pregnant and even though they live in a really nice part of town now and have really good jobs with the city, I am still happy that I am me and my life turned out this way because I can still change who I am and adapt.

Props to these 2 slutwave divas! They really know how to perform with TRUE PASSION.
What's next: Lady Gaga covering "Tweenage Dream"? #YesPlease <3 <3 <3
#putUrPawsUp

#BORNTHISWAY, BITCHES!

Does Katy Perry still look like a Grade A slutwaver without photoshop magic?

Katy Perry photoshopped Rolling Stone fat
I was looking at this .gif of Katy Perry that shows how Rolling Stone had to 'photoshop' her in order to make her look '100% hot.' They took a lil bit off the tummie, popped the breasts so they weren't just 'big and saggy', and added some more colour/shine 2 her skin, and probably a lot more stuff that makes her look 'perfect.' Maybe Rolling Stone thought that it would 'save their magazine' by making Katy Perries breasts look way bigger.

It sorta made me wonder...
Is Lady Gaga the most authentic slutwaver because she is kinda ugly, but she just compensates by starving herself and exposing as much of her body as possible?
Has Katy Perry just used 'Hollywood magic' 2 become a top slutwaver?
Do magazines 'cheat' 2 airbrush + photoshop women 2 look hot?
Is our society 'truly effed up' when a slutwaver can't even show her goodies without the pressure to 'look perfect'?

Shame on Rolling Stone. Shame on Katy Perrier. They are rlly not helping tween body image issues.

For all of our female readers, it's okay 2 show off ur body even if ur 'thick.' Real Women Don't Photoshop.

G-d Blss us, every1.

Alt Has No Size
alt has no size
LOVE HAS NO SIZE.

Katy Perry visits Facebook HQ, Mark Zuckerbro has hornie grin


Katy Perry visited the headquarters of Facebook, the popular social networking website on the internet. As u can see, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook CEO 'abused' his billionaire status and position of power 2 lure Katy Perry 2 FBHQ. I know tons of web tech companies have 'workout' and 'cafeteria' facilities on their business campuses, but Techcrunch/ValleyWag cannot confirm that Facebook has a 'sex dungeon' installed.

Do u think Mark Zuckerberg just wanted 2 ride Katy Perry style slutwaves?
Do u think he is writing a followup movie after the success of the Social Network?
Do u wish u were rich enough 2 bring ur sexy pop icon fantasies 2 life?
Do u think his GF was 'pissed' that Katy Perry came down 2 the office, and he looked 'reeallly excited' 2 see her?
If u hugged Katy Perry, would she be able 2 feel ur semi/fully erect peen?

"Yes, I'm worth several billion dollars. Who is the dude ur dating now? Russell Brand. Yeah, he's not rlly that rich. Or funny."

"This bro is worth a lot 2. U should have at least married a record executive."

Zuckerbro taking her back 2 the office 2 have a 'closed door meeting.'

Rlly just hope that 1 day I can be rich enough 2 'make ur fantasies come true' [via indecent proposals]?

Is Mark Zuckerberg trying to raise his celeb status by dating a celeb?
Is it unfair 2 think that Katy Perry was engaging in sexual favors in exchange 4 money/more FB friends just because she is in the slutwave genre?
Why do celebs visit social networking HQ busines campuses? 2 get more friends/followers?
Or do make the employees feel like they 'work in a special place' that is way different than the traditional 'stuck in ur cubicle' job?
Does Mark Zuckerbro need 2 stop trying so hard 2 be famous?
Should Mark Zuck leave his GF 2 try 2 band some Grade A famous A$$?

Katy Perry

Alternative Celebrity

Katy Perry has 'tig ol bitties', also known as 'buge hreastes.' She sings songs that showcase her breasts.

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Mark Zuckerberg

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Mark Zuckerberg is the CEO of the_facebook.com and the star of his self-directed documentary called "The Social Network."

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Katy Perry makes new video where she shoots fireworks out of her titties

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Katy Perry is a modern slutwave artist who has 'the sweetest rack' in the genre. She basically tries to let her 'goodies' hang out at any possible moment just to keep ur attention. Guess it is a deece strategy, because I keep watching her music videos, hoping to 'get aroused' [via a Tweenage Dream].

Anyways, this is some new music video by Katie Parry called "Firework." It sounds like some weirdo uplifting techno song, except lots of pop songs sound like house techno jams these days, so I guess it is just a relevant trend. Anyways, the video seems like it is just trying to be a meme that showcases Katy Perry's slutwave breastes bc fireworks shoot out of them.

It seems like this is supposed to be 'uplifting', like Fireworks are a metaphor for a lifeforce that helps u 2 do great things. The video is trying to be all meaningful/controversial because it features a cancer patient kid, a fat girl, a gay couple, and a family with an abusive father.

Would have to say the highlight/lowlight/unchill-light was when the husky girl took her clothes off and jumped in the pool. Woulda been chill if she stayed insecure.

Then she jumped out of the water like a whale and fireworks were shooting out of her tummy/breasteses.

Kinda ruined the slutwave vibes with this story arc/theme confronting body image.

Did yall like this video, or was it 'lost'/retarded?

Do u wish more indie female stars would have fireworks shoot out of their breasts?

Is Katy Perry the #1 slutwave artist?
Does n e 1 still listen to Lady Gaga any more?
Do u <3 Katy Perry's breasts?
Do yall beat off 2 slutwave music vids, or just watch p00rn0?
Have fireworks ever shot out of ur body?
Is "Fireworks" Animal Collective's best song?
HAve yall ever had cancer, then Katy Perry shower up with sparkler titties?

Katy Perry

Alternative Celebrity

Katy Perry has 'tig ol bitties', also known as 'buge hreastes.' She sings songs that showcase her breasts.

Read more>>>>

Some AZN flight attendants try 2 go viral by flying the slutwave

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The slutwave is an exciting new genre of music featuring artists such as Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and even Rihanna. They are all basically trying to wear the least amnt of clothes/make the sexiest dry humping/blowjob dances possible while still appealing 2 tweens and Christian Middle America. It seems like these airline flight attendants are trying to 'calm down' their customers who are abt to fly in2 the air by dancing around to some slutwave music by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. They are giving the customers safety instructions in case of an emergency, but at the same time, they are making it interesting, engaging consumers by making them 'a lil bit erect'.

They dance around, shaking their perfect AZN booties 2 "Just Dance", a 1990s hit by Larry Gaga and "California Gurlz--We <3 2 give BJs" by Katy Perry. So exciting, so modern. Really helped me be 'less afraid 2 die' in a huge airplane crash. Started 'carrying on' my own parachute bc I have a fear of flying :-(

Are yall afraid of dying in a plane crash?
Do yall h8 when they tell u how not 2 die when ur plane is abt to crash?
Do u think u will ever end up in a water evacuation?

Just wish I could be a flight attendant who 'goes viral' by offering a unique customer service

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Just want a job where I have the ability to show off my 'talents' + personality that exist beyond my 'boring ass job.'
Want to be part of a brand that encourages

Will the airline industry continue to 'bleed money' unless they jazz up in-flight entertainment with topless dancers + mobile bath houses?
What is the most authentic airline experience? Jet Blue? GoGo in-flight internet? Southwest Airlines? Virgin Consumer Space Flights?
Do yall wish these flight attendants 'stripped naked' and let every1 'motorboat' them 2 go viral?

What is it about the flight attendant personal brand that is 'so sexie'?
Do they just seem like 'easy women' with no sense of home who just want to 'make love' to business travelers?

Slutwave Legend Katy Perry goes on SNL just 2 shake her titties around.


Katy Perry has large breasts, and it is her social responsibility as a slutwave artist to make sure that every1 looks at her titties in floozy-ass costumes that are supposed to 'represent her music's brand.' She went on the popular talk show Saturday Night Live--Funnie Sketch Comedy 4 People Who Are Stuck at Home on a Saturday Night.

Honestly, just 'get a kick out of' posting her live performances, because it 'drives hits' because of her breasteses. Really couldn't pass up on the opportunity to post a tittie jiggling gif to drive mad click-thru rates.

Here she is 'performing' "California Gurlz", a song abt how girls from California will basically 'give any1 a BJ' and let them 'ejaculate' on/in any part of their body that u want.

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Feel like she is trying hard 2 let ppl know that she is an 'authentic artist', with a strong, powerful voice, who is more than just a 'nice set of tits' with a backing track.

Here she is singing that 1 song by Beach House called "Teenage Dream" abt what it feels like 2 lose ur virginity when ur 13 / how u can get an authentic rush when ur hymen breaks.

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Is Caitie Perry is an authentic artist?
Do u think her songs are 'brilliant'?
Did she showcase that she is a 'legit artist' / 'amazing singer'?
Is Katie Perry a relevant artist who will be remembered alongside Madonna, Feist, and Fionna Apples?

Just wish I could be the guitar bro in the backing band, having to wear some cheesy costumes.

Soo much charisma

"watch out russy brand!" -gossip blog developing a 'scoop'

R u hornie?

boing
hornie
tittie shaking
poor lil elmo bro. just wanted 2 motorboat
cumming
erect peen

///RIDING SLUTWAVES///////////
////so jiggly////
////Man Overboard/////

does Katie Perrie have the perfect alternative breasts?

Katy Perry rides the slutwave with Elmo, chills on Sesame Street

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Katy Perry is one of the most influential modern slutwave artists of all time today, in a heated competition with other slutwave artists like Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Ke$ha to have the strongest, sexiest personal brand. Many slutwave themes are about 'boys', 'having fun', and 'getting drunk.' Not exactly sure why Katy Perry was allowed on Sesame Street. Feel like they should have at least made her wear a 'huge baggy t-shirt' if she was going to speak to kids. Instead, her corset thingy seems to make sure people know that she has 'huge breasts', but at the same time, some sort of 'optical illusion' that tries to make her breasts look 'smaller.' Staring at the screen 2 try to figure it out.

<3 the song "Ur hot and I'm chill" though. Feel like that song is soo true [via commentary on modern relationships]. It's so weird how u can like some1 so much, and then they are like 'oh wait. don't like u. sorrie! gonna find some1 new.'

Kinda miss the days when Sesame was 'wholesome' and indie, back when Feist chilled on there. Wonder when she is going to churn out a new album to 'counterbalance' the slutwave. Worried she will get nipple pasties and try to ride it, though.

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Worried about American family values. Seems like kids just want to be 'entertained' and they don't really care about 'learning' any more. It seems way easier just to give a kid a laptop /xbox 360 instead of 'actually having an interactive discussion/learning experiment.'

I honestly believe that Sesame Street was bad for education because it 'opened the door' for parents choosing to let the tv babysit their kids. Sorta like a 'gateway drug' or something. Wish we could just invent a 'social network' for kids that could replace both 'parenting' and our failed educational system.

Is Katy Perry the #1 slutwave artist?
Every time Sesame Street producers get some1 questionable to interact with the characters, are they basically 'pooping' on Jim Henson's grave?
Do yall like Katy Perry 'because she has big breasts and big eyes'?
R u worried abt Elmo, or does he seem like a 'motorboating pimp'?

Katy Perry plays slutwave song on the TODAY show, ruins chill family vibes

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From what I understand, the TODAY SHOW is a popular morning show that people who are unemployed or stay-at-home moms watch. Sorta like a blog in morning show format, featuring news, in depth interviews, recipes, healthy lifestyle tips, and even live musical performances by popular artists. It looks like Katy Perry showed up to ride some slutwaves on the TODAY SHOW. Seems like parents probably had to explain 'the birds and the bees' to their kids after they all got hard + wet watching Katy Perry 'shake her shit.'

Are you a "California Gurl"?
Do tweens really relate to this song?
Should I live in some sort of hyper-reality candy world and vibe out half naked?

Seems like things 'got crazy' cuz she brought candy on stage, then wore a sexie lil outfit to make sure no1 changed the channel. Guess she is just accepting that 'sex sells' instead of being another female pop star dressed like she shops at JC Penny's.

Really seems like this might be 'too slutwave' for a morning show, but I guess they are in trouble and need to book whoever the can. From what I understand, TV is kinda like the internet, and u have to try to get 'mad hits.'

Here she is singing the song "Teenage Dream", and it seems like she struggles with the vocals + movement during her song. Worried about her. Some1 needs to get her a 'solid backing track' so I can focus on her body, instead of her vocals.

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Is Katy Perry the #1 slutwave artist?
Is her career going to be more successful than other slutwave artists like Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus?
Does Katy Perry have 'an awesome voice'or did she only get famous because of her 'luscious breasts'?
Who is yalls favourite TODAY Show anchor?

Would u ride slutwaves with Katie Couric, Ann Curry, Kathie Lee Gifford or Al Broker?
Is "California Gurls" the song of the summmer?
Should I cut off my peen and move 2 California?

Slutwave artist Katy Perry makes new skanky video 4 a song abt hot teen sex

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Really feel like the slutwave wars are more interesting than the current indie wars. Now that 2k10 has officially tanked in the indie world, all we can really do is try to find pleasure in watching hot sluts 'roll around', pretending they are real singers. Just want to hop on some new post-indie waves/vibes. Feeling like Best Coast and Wavves officially harshed 2k10's summer vibes.

N e ways, Katy Perry has some new music video for a song called "Teenage Dream." It seems like the song is about how 'teen love feels.' Like the first time u have 'hot sex' and u feel like ur gonna be with some1 forever, but then u grow up, break up, and have better sex with new people, and explore various sexual fantasies that make ur life get 'super dark.'

From what I understand the most thrilling part of teenage sex was 'being scared' of becoming/inseminating a 'teen mom' [via MTV].
Do yall like 'teenage sex' back when u first learned how ur sexual organs worked, or do u prefer 'middle aged sex' where u can get dark since u 'take out ur frustration with ur life' on ur partner?

Do yall thin Katy Perry ripped off Beach House's "Teen Dream"?
Do u think Victoria LeGrand, lead singer of Beach Haus, should make a slutty video where she is 'banged' by a buff model dude, and she sings about how 'teen sex' makes u feel alive?
Do u miss being able 2 have sex with a 16 year old back when u were 16 years old? [via firm lil bodies]
Is the slutwave the new chillwave, or an auxiliary wave that you can jump on when ur feeling 'friskie' / 'hornie'?
Do u wish u still lived in a Teenage Dream, or would u rather live in a Teen Dream?

Katy Perry rides the slutwave, poses naked in Rolling Stone 2 sell magazines


From what I understand, the magazine industry is 'tanking' and the only way to sell copies is to put tween sensations on the cover, or to put 'hot, half naked skanks with big titties.' Fortunately for magazines, the slutwave movement is stronger than ever and u can fill up most of ur issue covers with a half naked woman trying to look 'sexy' and 'artsy' at the same time. Usually female pop stars just 'get naked' in an artsy way, like they'll put a lil ribbon over their vajeng and breasteses, or maybe they will do something controversial on the cover, like pee on an American flag while stabbing an African-American with a cross.

It seems like Katy Perry is on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine, just showin off ur big ol bosoms. Feel like they have really helped her take her career to the next lev. Do u dig her vibe?

Wonder if they also filmed a 'hardcore porn beach scene' during this photo shoot. Seems like her vagina is accessible, ready to get sand + peen in it.

Do yall know where I can buy a denim bra to push up my titties?

Does the slutwave movement 'turn u on'?
Are yall on #team_Slutwave or #team_lilith_fair?
Is Katy Perry 'the hottest piece of ass' in the slutwave movement [via bigger breasts than Lady Gaga + Ke$ha]?
Do yall know any indie females who should 'crossover' and ride the slutwave?
Do u prefer the pasty, lofi version of Katy Perry without any airbrushing / makeup?

Do u think Katy Perry has an 'All-American' look, or does she remind u too much of a suburban alt Middle American?

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