Important Opinions on Alternative Music | Hipster Runoff

Important Opinions on Alternative Music

How Indie Finally OFFICIALLY Died: The Broken Indie Machine.


2k12 has been a really boring year for indie. I’ve been trying to figure out why every thing seems so boring 2 me. I am beyond uninterested, and it has impacted the quality of my blog, along with the quantity of posts that I am inspired to post. In order to attempt to move forward, I will write openly about my current perceptions on The State of the Indiesphere (even though talking about indie is effing boring, too).

R u s000 b00red with indie?
Does it feel like u just check the same indie sites/twitterfeeds/facebooks over and over again, finding nothing and more nothing?
When u click on something, do u feel more ‘link baited’ than ‘interested’?
Have u lost ur connection with artists that you once felt passionate about?
Is the thrill of finding new bands ‘gone’?
Is it ‘just time’ 2 close the book and start something new? How do we even go about doing that?
Is this just ‘part of growing up’ and ‘losing interest’ in something that once felt meaningful 2 u?
Or are we stuck in a broken system that will only perpetuate the evil buzz of the Corrupt Indie Machine?
Is the indie news cycle more ‘predictable’ and ‘boring’ than ever?
Have we reached a ‘status quo’/standard operating procedure for the buzz game that we once loved creating and deconstructing?
Did Lana Del Rey ruin it all?
Did Kanye West's 10.0 ruin it all?
Is the Indie Buzz machine totally broken and unrepairable?

I am bored with indie. Maybe every1 kinda feels this way, or I’m just losing interest in ‘indie & alt culture’, particularly the Genre Formerly Known As Indie Music. I just don’t buy the buzz any more. Maybe I’m too close, I’ve seen how the buzz is made. I’ve seen the faces behind the Corrupt Indie Machine in VIP areas across the world and while there are still some pure souls, it is a broken, unfixable machine that should be put to death. Maybe I’m just growing up, or just trying to escape the overwhelming feeling that the people who still ‘100% buy the buzz’ are laggard ass posers, stagnant cool dads and post-tweens who have some sort of Tavi-Gevinson malfunctioning/contrived nostalgia for the years 2k2-2k8. Like those young people who are just ‘trying to act like grownups’ because they didn’t have any friends as kids, or something.

Maybe I am guilty because I am part of the problem and cannot be a part of the solution.

Maybe it is time for indie ass losers to just go and die, listening to the same overhyped artist from ‘the prime years of indie’ until we all die. We’ll just keep buying ________ (tenured indie band) albums until we’re dead, growing old alongside our favorite artist that connect us to the cognitive prime of our youth even though their music already sounds old and dated.

While that’s probably true, I don’t think it’s time yet, and we deserve one last phase of innovation before we are officially irrelevant and metaphorically wearing diapers because we shit ourselves’ and no longer deserve 2 be alive. Sometimes I’ll think about why I no longer enjoy music festivals, and I’ll think, “That’s for the tweens and teens.” But I feel like I’m shorting myself of a meaningful experience because of commitment and intimacy issues.

I have always taken an internet-centric point of view when it comes to music, meaning that indie = internet music. An internet enabled genre that scaled alongside indie websites in order to create a day to day experience with users. Eventually, ‘mainstream’ websites began to cover ‘indie’ as well, and now it is all just a pretty standard newscycle. It has been that way for a few years, not a ‘new’ or ‘innovative take.’ But what makes the indiesphere different is that we are ‘curating/enabling/facilitating art’ so there is a direct relationship between the media and the art. It’s not like sports where the media doesn’t impact the outcome of the results [via decided on the field according 2 rules].

Here we are in the content farm era where Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, SPIN, HIPSTER RUNOFF, Brooklyn Vegan, AbsoluteIndieMag.biz, Stereogum, Buzzfeed Music, Shitty McBlogBlogMagazine.com/Music, GVB, FADER, Complex, [other random ass blog/dumb website/magazine] all generally post the same stuff. It’s just a matter of creating brand loyalty via aesthetics and the perception of premium content to lemming ass internet users.

Maybe just make something that people can share on Facebook to controversially discuss amongst their friends.

The demand for ‘innovative’ content has formed a buzz bubble. Chillwave and sponsored-content-wave artists were the main beneficiary of this bubble (post2k.5-2k11), but now, so many bands are getting a taste of alleged buzz ‘before they are ready’/before it even means anything in a legitimate context. The buzz machine is broken because there is no trusted, fail proof mechanism to create pure buzz.

Take for instance, Purity Ring, the initial 2k12 ‘next Grimes’ of the year. Two well intentioned weirdo Canadian kids who make decent enough music that ‘sounds the way it is supposed to sound.’ Conceptual, bleep bloop, girl saying random ass things that make no sense. They were signed to ‘major indie label’ 4AD because they ‘sounded and looked the way indie is supposed to sound and look in 2k12’ in order to ensure that it was adequately covered, attended, and sold well.

It looks/feels/sounds like some sort of parody of what ‘indie’ has become [via Spinal Tap]. Srsly though, “WTF is she even talking about? If I wanted to hear inane jibberjabby, I would have listened to Thommy Yorke in the early 2k0s. If I wanted to hear conceptual bleep bloops, I would have built a time machine to go back to 2k8. If I wanted to buzz a boy-girl duo, I would have gone back to 2k_. If I wanted a diy conceptual light show, I would have gone back to 2k_.”

Not to belittle the artistic intentions of Purity Ring like I do with so many established acts, but it’s just hard for me to really connect with them, and not see them as trapped inside the lifeless charade that indie buzz has become. They have assembled a team of people around them who know how to play the game. That’s just boring to me. The probably isn’t even really with them, just the way that we have come to digest them, just like the previous 100 bands that we were trained to love. If anything, the Corrupt Indie Machine has forced us to digest the same meal over and over again for too long. Corrupt Content Farms are so quick to milk the life out of anything new that there are only 2 options for a ‘RISING’ buzzband’s career: Formulaic Rise 2 Indie Coverage or Immediately Fading Back into the Fringes of the Buzzlands.

Which existence is more authentic? Getting a job at Enterprise RentACar and hating ur life.

Additionally, failed memes like Kitty Pryde are just like ‘Get the fuck outta here.’ Farms are so eager to ‘break down the meme’ that Kitty Pryde didn’t even really get to happen because we already saw it with Kreayshawn/RiffRaff, except it didn’t feel like she got the corrupt buzz machine pieces behind her to generate content at a rate to ‘keep people interested’. People are so eager to adopt to a meme these days that some fat ass Korean guy is now the most famous person on the planet for mastering the William Hung act.

Content-farm-core rappers like Riff Raff are a toxic byproduct of this era. They are interesting to watch, cover, ‘think piece’ about, and gawk at, but at the end of the day, the resonate more for being an active internet participant than they do for the alleged ‘art/commerce’ that they are promoting.

“Whatever happened to the spirit of rocknroll?” [via being untraditional/breaking rules]. The rules of indie/content-farm-core are s0000 b0ring. Ughhh. I’m so00oo00o bored even writing about it. I’m so ashamed. I need some new faces from new places who aren’t just trying to play this dumb game that we’re s00oo0o bored of. UGhhh this is totally just more NOISE in ur feed. Who cares. Why even try 2 breakthru the noise on the internet? Just become a part of the noise. Tweet another dumb tweet and pray for retweets.

I am fighting against the 'real world' [via the harsh realities of the internet] squashing me and my formative indie ideals. The spirit of indie taught us that bedroom musicians could make something of themselves, creating a fruitful buzz career from a series of creative nights. We rooted for them, we enjoyed covering them. But now our buzz harvest has gone bad, and now is the Winter of Our Buzz Content.

If content farms have ruined the purity of internet content with listicles, contrived SEO-inspired Bleacher Report-wave think pieces, and other lame ass content that is still lucrative and successful, then it is clear that content farms have ruined artists. It diminishes the fan connection to an artist, and artists are also given a false sense of ‘accomplishment’ for being the 99th post out of 100 on RollingStone.com. No1 cares about ur band bro. U just look and sound the way ‘new music’ is supposed to sound.

I’m not sure if I have unreasonable expectations. There just has to be a new way that bands can ‘become bands’ other than ‘getting on the same set of websites that will issue predictable opinions on them.’ Or maybe a website can offer a new way of presenting bands without standardized commentary. Perhaps ‘streaming services’ like Spotify and Pandora have become those to some extent. Those appeal to the people who ‘just want the music’ without needing to know the context.

As for ‘blogs,’ there isn’t really any incentive to ‘curate’ a legitimately authentic flow of content any more. Once again, not a new point, but just another part of the broken indie machine. Due to the symbiotic relationship between the media and the artists, we can never have buzz the way it once was. It’s just the same old song & dance over and over again. s00oo0oo0o bored.

There hasn’t even been an interesting album cycle this year. The indie album cycle has just become this stupid ‘ceremonial process’ where every1 is supposed to knight a band and say, “Sigh... They’ve come so far. They’ve really grown into their own. They are older and wiser now.” That was cool to do in 2k9 [via the maturation of AnCo], but I guess there isn’t really anything that interesting about these bands any more, other than ‘they are indie bands that make indie music.’ Not every band deserves a pseudo-cover story or ‘think piece’ where we ‘try to figure them out.’ Due to the demand for pseudo-premium ‘long form’ content, some bands have been elevated beyond ‘nice sounding band that I listen to a few times a week but don’t need to know anything about.’

Currently, competitive content farms require 30-100 posts per day in order to stay competitive scale, maintaining a high level of pageviews and uniques [via Search Engine Optimization]. Long form ‘journalism’ is just another worthless content vertical, no more valuable than a photo gallery, interview, or viral meme recap. Readers are too dumb/don't have enough time to curate on their own, so they basically just end up lost on the web, an aimless series of links to click around. Related content that is unrelated to anything relevant.

Additionally, the content farm basically kills the singular voice of any one writer. I can’t really think of many writers who are known by ‘the common indie fan’ as an important/singular voice in indie culture/music. Sure, the ‘talent’ is theoretically there (not really, I’m just being nice [via hypotheticals]), but it is all squashed by the output of the content farm, flushed down the page and into the toilet that is the internet. I’m not even sure what to think about the insane group of ‘young writers’ who legitimately want to ‘cover new music/the indie scene.’ I feel like there aren’t people who are interested in ‘trailblazing their own vibe with their own agenda’, they only want to become one of those people responsible for 7 posts per day for an established content farm. Indie writers can then tweet endorsements about how amazing their blurbs and ‘think pieces’ are, in order to create an illusion of actually doing something that matters even though we are all trapped in the Broken Indie Machine.

There are also certain ‘rules’ to indie coverage that make it boring. You can only pan a band when it is one album too late. You are not allowed to get bored with something you praised just one album ago. Do not offend those bands and individuals who facilitate decent content. Never call out a tenured indie band for their marginal product. We are all guilty.

The weird thing is that there is tons of ‘cool’ content out there. It This ‘cool’ content is usually sponsored by some brand, curated by some website. For example, there was the ToTaLLy KeWL collab between Best Coast and some flavor on the month ‘rising’ rapper.

Theoretically this is ‘kewl’, and paid artists and the Fader Magazine with some of Coca Cola’s billion dollar advertising budget, but who cares. It’s for fucking Vitamin Water. It’s not cool. So lame. Part of me wonders if the indie blogosphere was just some sort of ‘ultimate online advertising’ beta test, where we just worked to create innovative ways to facilitate sponsored experiences.

We’ve allegedly learned that ‘even successful indie bands no longer get paid’ [via Grizzly Bear NYMag gimmicky profile piece], so it makes me feel that any post-2k8.5 buzzband’s only hope is to ‘completely sell out their sound’ [via Foster the People], or just do some solid cash grabs in sponsored opportunities. Give it a good 2-5 year run, then start a new life.

It is hard for me to ‘get legitimately excited’ about new bands because they aren’t really allowed to play by their own rules. They have to play by the rules of the large content farms, as dictated by a publicist who will ‘get them on’ a series of websites that allegedly craft their identity. Sure, some bands tour hard, winning over fans, and that will always probably be more important than ‘the internet.’ But the blogosphere used to be a place that could help artists, now it just boringly boxes them up in a content-farmmy way that might be more detrimental than the ‘old, boring magazines’ that we used to complain about.

From this point forward, referring to your band as ‘being’ or ‘sounding like’ indie will mean that you have a ba$ic ass band, stuck in the past, trying to replicate the sounds and buzz practices of yesterday. Indie exists, but no one should want to join that club any more. I don’t know what is next, and I don’t know if the internet media will perpetuate ‘indie’ until the internet dies.

When I first started this blog, I used to be excited to contribute to an ongoing discussion about art, artists, music, 'the internet indie scene', and any sort of forward progress when it came to ‘the little genre that could.’ Sure, ‘indie’ as we once loved it has been dead for a while, but I can’t help but wonder if things are going to change, who is interested in bringing about change, and if there is anything to culturally look forward to any more. I used to feel like I was sharing a real part of myself when it came to the excitement and curation of independent artists, but now I am basically just bored, resentful, bored, and disconnected.

Can an artist be considered ‘authentic’ any more when they are just processed by the Broken Indie Machine?
Who are the Next Wave of “Authentic” Artists?

The next wave of relevant artists to be excited about won’t play the game by the outdated indie content farm rules.
The next wave of relevant artists to be excited about will rediscover 100% authentic buzz.
The next wave of relevant artist to be excited about _____________________________.
The next wave of artists to be excited about will be corrupted by the Broken Indie Machine.

Can we find a new corner of the internet to find music from? Is there an untapped buzz oasis in the middle of our buzz desert [via drought]? Or will the Corrupt Indie Machine suck the buzz watering hole dry, bottling the water, and marketing it to relevant demographics by way of sponsored opportunities?

Maybe the indie experiment only existed to create Grimes, the ultimate internet content producer who makes content directly aimed at internet viewers. She is the best example of ‘not being a band/musician’, but instead a ‘playing by the rules’ content generation machine that resonates with humans wasting time on the internet.

While I will no longer refer to the Genre Formerly Known as Indie Music as ‘indie’, I still believe in the formative spirit of indie. I still feel passionate about music as a unique experience that can be cherished in meaningful ways. I’m just tired of the way things are done and can’t tell if I should just ‘shut up and deal’ or if it is realistic to believe that there are new, different ways to do things for bands, content farms, and fans. Or maybe things are awesome and this is what we always wanted and now that we have it.

Whether it’s music, culture, memes, opinions, or any sort of web content, I h8 the content farm era, because it makes me want to share less of myself because it is all just to get people to read this even if you trying to write something genuine to make a point because you want to connect with people.

“I guess we were all just killing time on the internet for the past __ years anyways. Who cares.”
-us when we die

“It all used to feel like it meant something real.”
-every1 about the past

Corrupt Indie Machine

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Event, Company, Meme

The Corrupt Indie Machine is a massive conspiracy between the Indie Media, Blogs, Buzzbands, Buzz Humans and (Major and Indie) Labels to produce and farm inauthentic, inorganic, artificial buzz.

Lists:
Read more>>>>

Has Rolling Stone hit a new low 4 music journalism and/or content farms?

Memes Via Rock, Crackle, Pop: If Music Stars Had Cereals
These fantasy cereals are a good source of high-fiber funny

foster the people cereal
The Music Buzzosphere Blogosphere
Is a Crazy, Cruel Place
Dropping MP3s, memes, news, thoughts, ideas
into a deep, monetized well

This is our Utopia
an abstract space that we tell ourselves represents 'modern culture'
We are kings
in control of the masses who are desperate for clickable culture

Maybe we are all kids who are wearing pumped up kicks
running as fast as we can
to avoid being fostered ppl...

It's u, it's u, it's all just trying to generate content 4 u
But maybe it's not abt 'the love of music' any more
attempting to be the ultimate percolator of buzz

Sometimes all we can do
is manufacture a box of memes
4 lamestreamers who are 'on the go' 2 snack on 4 breakfast.

Even if it is a bit Korny [via dubstep originators]
maybe this is all we have left

Maybe there is nothing left

We are all trying 2 win the internet
Get 'mad followers'
Utilize metric to prove that we are 'influencers'
Playing the role of the ultimate cultural commentator
Utilizing humor, seriousness, but most importantly, memeness

Sigh...
I can't go 4 that...
No can do...

She is truly
a blogeater
[via content consumer, sharer, disposer]

Pop Culture is a cruel, cruel monetization pyramid scheme
Do u have the drive 2 compete?
Content Farm 2 Content Farm
4 the most hits possible
Every website must begin to become a 'one stop destination'
4 lamestreamers
who will load our website
while we are bored

The way we consume music has chngd
bc no1 even cares abt music
It's only abt meme, celebrity, and pseudo-controversy
As some1 who doesn't care abt authentic music journalism
Some displays of content farmian do not make me cry for 'the death of music journalism'
but instead for those who are trapped
chasing dreams of 'writing' in the name of farming

It's hard 2 even know what the blogosphere even is any more
What is a magazine, blog, webzine, tumblr, kickstarted zone blog
Would my dead son who fell off a balcony
know my name if he saw my box of cereal meme in heaven?

I guess the White Stripes were right...
It doesn't even matter if u make good music
all u need is a song that people can hum
[via "DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNN DUNN DUNN DUNN" being the defining sound of Jack White's career]

There is truly nothing left here.

Oh Feisty...
She did not ask 4 this...
Even she 'gave up' after her hit 1st album
tired of being processed as a mainstream mega meme

Perhaps we should all be placed
in a Special Victims Unit

Searching for some Blog & Order
Inside the massive ass of my wife
while I eat her butt hole

Perhaps we have all been doing it wrong
and the future of the indie musicsphere is not in
'blurbs', 'think pieces' and 'EXCLUSIVE mp3s'
but instead
in the boxes of cereal

perhaps these boxes each contain the ultimate prize
the golden content
which upholds music journalism authenticity

'When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Content Farmer for Rolling Stone.'
-Almost Famous 2: The Fall of Authentic 'Music and/or Culture Writing'

Did 'culture' ever even exist
or should we all just go 2 Africa
and let spooky witch doctors control our vision of culture
instead of 'deep pocketed marketing teams and major brands'

In the name of content
What more in the name of content?

It was a beautiful day [via the farm]
Don't let it get away.

Do 'music journalism' dream jobs exist, or has every1 just turned into a 'content farm strategist'?
Is there any point in 'being creative' and making things 4 'the web'?
Is there such thing as a 'music journalism dream job' any more, or is the web fueled by demented ppl who are self-obsessed, yet channel that obsession towards 'crap that doesn't matter' like culture consumption?
Do u evr get tired of 'consuming culture'/memes on the web?
Is it all ovr?
Should we all just get full time jobs at Enterprise RentACar and stop worrying abt buzz, cultural commentary, and keeping up with today's big meme?
Should we all just 'effing off ourselves'?
Is the web the most progressive place 2 publish new thoughts and ideas, or should we all just write with our own feces on the wall of a bathroom?
Do u ever just see the web as a flat, dead place where lamestreamers are supposed 2 mindlessly click?
Do U hAvE AnY ZaNy BuZzBaNd CeReAL iDeAs?

Is this it?


Goodnite, Cruel World.

Is Grimes the next BIG Indie Diva, or an overhyped product of the Corrupt Indie Machine?

grimes claire boucher naked nude

[MP3]
Grimes Vanessa
Grimes Oblivion

Many alts and alt blogs have been forced to search for bands and humans to buzz now that the Lana Del Rey slutshaming era is over. It seems like Grimes has capitalized on this void of content, slipstreaming into the alternative zeitgeist, discussed far and wide by ppl who are 'so into indie' that they always have to have some fringe buzzband to overanalyze. The only question is: Is Grimes' buzz organic, cultivated on a free-range artistic content farm, or is she the newest overhyped human buzz meme who the Corrupt Indie Machine is trying to force down our throats?

Grimes is Claire Boucher, some girl from Canada who dropped out of McGill University bc she was too free spirited 4 classes. Her music sounds like a baby voice goo goo gaa gaa-ing over some bleep bloop music.
grimes claire boucher armpit hair

What makes Grimes 'buzzworthy'? Her unique look? Her music? Her artsyfartsyness? Her crusty past? Her fashionmusability?

More importantly, we must determine if Claire Boucher is an indie diva who has reached Vicki LeGrand, Alice Glass, Sexi Lexi Krauss, Caroline Polachek, Maddie Follin-level alt status, or does she still need 2 prove herself AND her bangin bod?

Here is a breakdown of the strengths of Grimes in relations to the current buzzgeist:

Her live show is 'conceptual' [via 1 woman bleep bloop band]. You can see that she has a potentially BANGIN BOD, but also a Panda Bearian stage presence, rushing to turn nobs, press buttons, and emit bleep bloops out of her bleep bloop machines. It is clear to see that her unique personal brand and stage presence make her INDIE BLOG J.O. material, not just for the predominantly male blogosphere, but the, "OMG I'd love to be her friend"-wave female blogosphere who basically support anything where a female 'looks cool' so they can be all like "Props 2 a girl who is doin her thang! #Big_Thangs_Poppin"

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She may eventually face the 'Toro Y Moi' problem, where you have to eventually hire an entire backing band to appeal to mainstreamers who have to experience everything with the 'full-band' experience.

Her music is 'decent enough', but at the same time, 'bad enough' to be overhyped by lofi tastemakers. Sorta tried to stream her album to see if there was anything worth 'writing home about', but it is the standard conceptual bleep bloop band with only one or two 'half decent' songs that aren't even THAT listenable, but I would probably put them on a mix CD for some girl who wanted to 'feel artsy', like she was listening to 'the new Bjork', which could be a GREAT angle by which Grimes could present herself in her album cycle.

I know this might sound weird... but I kinda wanna canoodle with Grimes, and get 2 know the REAL Claire Boucher as I give her a 'touch up' on her Skrillex haircut with my clippers.

Her free spirited personal brand means that she can be converted into some sort of 'fashion muse.' As we have learned from LDR, it is important to have a BANGIN BOD that can be commodified, and your music must inspire some random fashion designers 2 find beauty in u, then u can represent a beautiful, free spirit. While Claire Boucher does have elf-like qualities, she is still a bonafide QT, bb!

</embed>

She has a Skrillex-y haircut, and looks like a futuristic crusty. I'd pay upwards of $20 to go to a concert where I got to stare at her and be like "Is she hot or not, yall? I'm gonna go with an alt 8, perhaps a 10 on the conceptual altbaguette scale."

She is all about 'art'/'being an artist.' Here is some interview where she shows off her meaningful doodles. In order to be taken seriously in the buzzosphere, you have to have deliberate artistic intent (until u write a song sponsored by Mtn Dew/Converse and everything begins 2 fall apart).

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She is potentially 'completely insane', ready 2 meltdown. It seems like 'being a buzzband' is the most 'normal, stabilizing thing she could have done with her life. She apparently tried to float down the Mississippi River like a trust crusty homeless person. While many blogspots would say 'that's totally kewl', I feel like we've all had that one crusty friend in HS/college who 'went too far', and you feel like it is only a matter of time b4 they end up dead from trying to trainhop/eating food out of a dumpster one last time.

In 2009, Claire Boucher and a friend from school constructed a 20-foot houseboat, named the "Velvet Glove Cast in Iron," with the intention to sail it down the Mississippi River from Minneapolis to New Orleans. The cargo included chickens, a typewriter, 20 pounds of potatoes and a gifted copy of Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Boucher and her companion adopted the names "Veruschka" and "Zelda Xox" for the trip.[8] Due to engine trouble and subsequent harassment from the Minnesota police, the journey was cut short and the houseboat and chickens were impounded.[9]

Here is a picture of her house boat and crusty Mark Twain-wave Huck Finn Tom Sawyer ass BF. [link to sad/stupid story]
grimes claire boucher house boat
How could such a crusty at heart make such bleepy bloop music?

PREVIOUSLY: Are Crusties the Most Authentic Alts in the World?

She makes for a good interview where she is honest, meaning that there she has not yet constructed a boundary between her 'real self' and the 'Grimes who has to do tons of interviews every day and answer the same crap over and over again.' Eventually, she will say stupid stuff that the blogosphere is able to manufacture into a conflict and/or thinkpiece. Similar to Best Coast, if she is determined to just be a 'dumb bitch' by the end of her first album cycle, we can dedicate the second album cycle to discrediting her artistic intentions.

</embed>

She has a doomed Twitter brand. It will eventually lead to emotional outbursts, oversharing, displays of rage/jealousy, or general Best-Coastian stupidity [via simplicity].

Do u <3 Grimey BB?

There are so many forces that must have gone into the construction of Grimes. She has been featured in 'mad ad takeovers' on indie blog sites, and she even 'took over' the popular weblog Gorilla Vs Bear.

We may never know the true story behind Grimes... Is she a 'legitimate indie artist' who will rectify the sins of Lana Del Rey, or is she just a flat product who the Corrupt Indie Machine is 'hyping' to prove that they can still 'control the corrupt indie media'?

Do u prefer Claire Boucher or Bobby Boucher [via The Water Boy]?

Is Grimes just 'another pretty face' in indie, or a legitimate indie force?
Is she the buzz flavor of the month, or a Tier 1 Indie Diva?
Do u <3 or h8 Claire Boucher's vibe?
Is Grimes' music 'good', 'great', 'just okay', or 'effing terrible and meaningless'?

Is Claire Boucher's Grimes project 'authentic', or just a creation of the Corrupt Indie Machine?
Is Grimes a 'failed crustie', turning to bleep bloop indie as her last hope?
Or does she truly care about the progression of the bleep bloop with baby voice singing over it genre?
Is Grimes just a mainstream version of Fever Ray/Bjork/etc?
IS Claire Boucher a compensatory representation of the 'spirit of indie' that we thought LDR was, normalizing the forces of the Corrupt Indiesphere back to it's core competency of overhyping a decent/marginally talented artist into an artificial construct of indie fame?

Grimes

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Grimes is Claire Boucher, a Canadian bleep bloop singer music project.

Read more>>>>

Corrupt Indie Machine

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Event, Company, Meme

The Corrupt Indie Machine is a massive conspiracy between the Indie Media, Blogs, Buzzbands, Buzz Humans and (Major and Indie) Labels to produce and farm inauthentic, inorganic, artificial buzz.

Lists:
Read more>>>>

Bonny Bear trends on Twitter after winning Grammy. Has Bonny Bear gone mnstrm?


Last night, indie music made history again when Bon Iver won a Grammy during the mainstream telecast for 'Best New Artist.' However, the Grammys are not just an awards show where indie music fans can say 'indie music has arrived' while watching Nicki Minaj crucify herself on stage, having dry sex with the pope--the Grammys provide us with an opportunity to see 'our two Americas' [via social networks].

While white people often believe that they have created and curated the most authentic, 'connected', and relevant cultural experience, we can always see that there is a 'lower class' of society who aren't just 'poor', but more importantly, not connected to relevant indie buzzbands. Last night, Bonny Bear trended on Twitter. It seems as though the 'lower class' of social network users created an unintentional meme, trying to wrap their heads around Bon Iver, who looked like a lost Midwestern man.

Has Bonny Bear become an important part of society now that he has trended on Twitter?

'Who Be Dat Bonny Bear Ass Fool?' #BlackPplAndTweensWhoMakeThingsTrendOnTwitter

via Brooklyn Vegan


Are 'culturally relevant' ppl 'racist' for making fun of the second class citizens who don't overanalyze indie rock on a daily basis?

Does indie rock only appeal 2 white, affluent ppl?
Do white people think that they are s0oo0o much smarter than poor/black/colored ppl?
Did Bon Iver intentionally dress like a Mr. Holland's Opus-type music teacher who wanted to 'teach lamestream masses' about how they could learn to escape from their sad, sad lives by listening to serene-wave indie music?

Do u <3 the new buzz video by Bonnie Bear?

</embed>

Do u <3 Bonny Bear?

Will Bonny Bear go mainstream in 2k12?
Is Bonny Bear more popular than Bon Iver?
Should Bon Iver change their name to 'Bonny Bear' to appeal to coloreds and poors who can 'only spell things phonetically' [via the Third World American educational system]?
Does Bon Iver have it all?
Does Bonny Bear have more than Bon Iver?
R u on #TeamBonnyBear or #TeamBonIver?
Are we #slutshaming poors, coloreds, and uneducateds when we create indie centric memes that celebrate 'how effing stupid' people who don't listen to 'relevant white people music' are?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

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Bonny Bear

Alternative Celebrity, Meme

Bonny Bear is the winner of the 2012 Best New Artist Grammy Award.

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How SOPA will kill blogs, internet humor, the indie scene, and ur personal email account.


I have heard rumblings that there is a MASSIVE LAW that is being talked about in some sort of branch of the government that is trying to make websites and blogs and the majority of the content on the internet COMPLETELY ILLEGAL. I was reading up about SOPA, trying to exactly who it would impact. Here are the hard facts on SOPA, how it works, and how your life will be forever changed in the SOPA world.

ALL MUSIC BLOGS WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW
Did u know that 100% of music blogs are 'hella illegal'? They are just as illegal as they were when they were 'innovative', but now every1 just got used to it. This would mean the bloggers behind your favorite blogs would go to jail. Many would be placed in isolation chambers, and they would not have internet access. This means Pitchfork writers, ad salesmen, dudes who start Tumblrs, and any one who has ever downloaded an illegal leak. Some critics say that this would actually be a good thing for the blog-centric indie world because it would force the creation of music in 'real scenes' instead of losers on the internet getting famous then tanking when they perform live.

ALL INDIE BUZZBANDS WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW
Believe it or not, any band trying to get buzz could be sentenced to at least 3 months in prison. Any band planning on releasing an album in 2k12 better 're-think' their strategies. It seems like we will move back to a taped-bootlegging era. Instead of doing a formal release that is uploaded to the internet to be sold, bands will have to sell CDs and minidiscs at live shows. Any band caught releasing an MP3 file, or if their fans make MP3s, the entire band will be executed live on FOX TV. The first round of executions will debut after the Super Bowl.

YOU WILL LOSE YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ACCOUNT AND YOUR TWITTER AND FACEBOOK WILL BE SEIZED BY THE GOVERNMENT
Remember the days when u could fire off an email? Over. Thanks a lot, SOPA. There will be no way to connect with other people on the internet. Classmates.com has a few lobbyists making HUGE moves in Wershington, and they might be the last social network standing when it's all said and done.

YOU WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW BY READING 'COMMIE GARBAGE' ON THE INTERNET AND SHARING IT TO A SOCIAL NETWORK
Let's face it, the majority of internet content is all 'communist garbage', written by, consumed by, and shared by a Network of Reds. In order to get America back to on track, riding capitalistic vibes, eliminating Commie propaganda is 100% necessary to the old white-hairs in the House of Congressentatives. No longer will u be allowed to read words on the internet unless they are approved by the government. It will be a lot like a parental control filter. There will be no more Browsers, everything will look like America Online 3.0.

ANY1 WHO DOES ONLINE SHOPPING WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW
Sites like Groupon, Amazon Gold Box, and SexSlaveCoupon.biz will be illegal, because the government finally realizes that 'online deals' have hurt the economie. Instead of allowing retailers to charge markups, so many outlets have driven prices down, hurting our economy because u can't waste money, and businesses can't make money. Events like Black Friday will be outlawed, and if you buy stereo speakers from some dude driving around a parking lot, you will have your hand chopped off. Stores like iTunes will be illegal, and it will be illegal to download MP3s AND buy MP3s.

ANY1 WHO BEATS OFF 2 PORN ON THE INTERNET WILL AUTOMATICALLY GO 2 CYBERJAIL
Some say that pornography takes up over 95% of all internet bandwidth. In order to decrease the bandwidth shortage of 2k12, providers want ppl to 'beat off' less. Instead, dating sites and 'fuck meetups' like Grindr will be given government grants & subsidies in order to allow members to join free, encouraging them to not beat off in privacy, but to go out into the world and find some1 to procreate with.

ANY1 WHO USES WIKIPEDIA WILL GET THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
One of the main reasons SOPA exists is to finally 'delete' the terrible website known as Wikipedia.org. It is a little known fact that lobbyists for CD-based Encyclopedias such as Encarta and World Book are throwing HUGE bribes at congressmen to revive their business. Let's be honest, every one knows that Wikipedia is filled with lies based on internet lies. In order to prevent kids from using Wikipedia for term papers, the Electric Chair will be brought back 2 really scare the kids.

ANY ARTIST WHO TANKS ON SNL WILL BE GIVEN THE DEATH PENALTY
Apparently, after the Lana Del Rey tank job on SNL, congressmen, senators, and even Barrack 'Ole Blue Eyes' Obama decided to write this into #SOPA. They just want to protect us from another buzz market collapse like last week, when the Buzz Jones Industrial and BUZDAQ both PLUMMETED. Right now, we're dealing with a record high un-buzzployment rate, and seeing buzz rates fall across the board. Right now, natural resources and precious metals are the only thing with value. Insiders say that SOPA will pass because lawmakers want to protect us on this issue. Thanks a lot, LDR!

INTERNET MEME HUMOR WILL BE ENSLAVED
I'm not sure how they are planning to do this, but there is talk that some of the most classic viral memes on the internet will be enslaved in order to 'make examples' out of them. Studies have shown that American tweens are more interested in generating viral content than they are in math and science studies. The fear of eternal enslavement is the only way to 'get their asses in line'.

R u scared of SOPA?
Will it change the internet forever?
Should the internet be regulated?
Will mp3s still be legal?
Will SOPA ruin the internet?
Is the internet 'over'?
Does n e 1 know how SOPA works?
Will my blog be shut down bc of SOPA?
What happens when SOPA is legalized?
Is SOPA losing support?
Will SOPA ruin or save indie?
What does SOPA stand 4?

Lana & Me: Our Dark, Abusive, Co-Dependent Relationship on the Content Farm


I have a blog called HIPSTER RUNOFF. Every day, I wake up, open my laptop, and type words that are stored in the internet as ‘content.’ My goal is to ‘get as many hits’ as possible because I metaphorically ‘have mouths to feed.’ I realize that at this point, it doesn’t matter if my content is ‘premium’, pseudo-brilliantly written web_prose or just ‘link-bait-wave,’ I was fortunate enough to not have gotten lost in the ‘long tail’ of indie music + Gen-Y-opinion-driven coverage blogs. Every day, I prey upon different buzz topics, exploiting my voice, but more importantly, my position as a ‘recognized outlet 4 buzz’ to try to trick people into thinking I am ‘relevant’, which basically just means that I am trying to make ppl talk abt my blog and get them addicted to my web brand even if they hate it because even when they are like ‘OMG THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT’ it is just some sort of post-grassroots-h8-wave-warketing.

My goal as a website is to ‘be the ass hole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the ass hole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’

Lana Del Rey is the perfect buzz topic, and I’ll never forget the times we shared in late 2k11 and early 2k12. I honestly do wish the best for her career, not because I have a rooting interest in her/care about her as a person, but because Lana Del Rey is an important search term to refer viewers to my website.

Sometimes I wonder, when it’s all said and done, and the internet is deleted, will I only be remembered as “The Guy Who Invented Chillwave?”

It feels like Lana Del Rey was sent down from the buzz heavens, God’s way to save us from the well-documented buzz drought that has plagued us since early 2k10. Some blamed the buzzbands for not putting out solid mp3s. They said that there were not enough buzzworthy bands 2 authentically buzz and that buzz was being misappropriated unfairly due to blogosphere favors and the fear of hurting the feelings of legacy, past-their-prime buzzbands. In the post-LDR bubble burst world, we are finally able to see what caused the buzz drought: it was the bloggers, the writers, the content farmers, and the implosion of the sub-prime buzzing crisis that has been the expanding crack in the foundation the indie blogging and content farming infrastructure since as far back as 2k8.5.

LanaBB officially redefined the core competencies of the ‘indie blogosphere.’

We used to be tastemakers. We used to be regulators. We used to be trustworthy. We used to be a valuable resource. Lana made it okay for us to post magazine covers. Lana Del Rey was pretty enough to post even the most irrelevant performance video. For the first time, Lana Del Rey took indie blogs over ‘the edge’, and made it okay for us to speculate about her physical appearance, which is way more interesting than trying to figure out if her artistic ambitions are ‘relevant’/pure. Basically, Lana Del Rey finally marginalized ‘the decently-enough-thought-out opinion piece’ into a worthless meme that any one could poop out.

#LDRSNL marked another maturation/retardation milestone for ‘online indie journalism’, bringing the indie blogosphere from a humble place that posted MP3s with generally positive/neutral commentary, and flung us right into the generalist meme-blurb content farm spotlight. We scrambled like enslaved content farmers, minutes after the performance to preserve our Google rank with a perfectly placed headline. We were ready to chew up and spit out memes, finally ‘graduating to the big leagues’ with a ‘big boy meme’, not just some other over-written ‘spotlight’ on a group of poor dudes from Brooklyn who were ToTtaLLY wErTh ChEcKiNg OuT and/or the typical ‘no one cares--what happened to REAL music?’ reaction pieces to said buzzband.

Buzz experts truly believe that Lana Del Rey is the last artist/band that the network of indie blog buzz will have a role in ‘hyping.’ The happy days of the AnCo 2k9 buzzosphere are long gone, and we all cannot just get along. After Lana Del Rey, we live in a hypeless world where we trust no outlet, now that we have finally seen the hype apocalypse because the LDR snake-eating-its-own-tail cycle has finally ended, and the sum is “-0” [via undefined]. Readers who once thought that they were reading organic, farm-grown content will feel misled, angry, and betrayed by the warped context of blogs.

I’ll admit that as a blog, I am obsessed, and probably over-estimate the impact of ‘modern web media’ on ‘reality.’ But it seems like LDR was a blogosphere ‘passion project’ that we incubated, and got to ‘tear down’ for the sake of generating, controlling, and commenting our own content. We enjoyed it, sorta like while u r stroking ur peen, but then u finally ‘effing blow’, and you are not sure whether you should admit ‘how good’ it felt. After #LDRSNL, no one is sure who has control of the #LDR meme any more. It was her viking meme funeral, even if she goes on to achieve mad sales in Europe/decent sales in America.

“Where r u Lizzy Grant? R u okay? I swear, I care about you. Blogs r mean. :-(”
-some blog with female readers

LDR should probably make other alt famous humans and upcoming buzz humans incredibly nervous, because the silent agreement of ‘pandering’ to indie celebs is over. The concept Indie celebrity may or may not exist, but a successful blog now must realize that the way indie blogs ‘baby’ the ‘alt famous’ in order to preserve relationships can no longer exist. Mudslinging will be beneficial to both parties. Maybe after LDR, it will no longer be a good idea to be ‘an anonymous’ project because then dumb blogs will just use Google to construct an unfair narrative for you.

I think the most interesting/most-covered story to come out of the #LDRSNL tank job was the ‘widely read and covered’ story about the guy who invented Gawker and revolutionized modern content farming, Nick Denton, publishing a private email from famous NBC newsanchor Brian Williams for the sake of ‘winning hits’ and introducing the Gawker web-brand to non-readers. In the email, NBC Nightly news anchor Brian Wiliams basically just says LDR is a disgrace, but I guess it is ‘interesting’ because he works for NBC, or something. His commentary on ‘her’ as a ‘person’ is as arbitrary & worthless as yours or mine, but the keyword synergy behind the story is ‘so money’ and it ‘doesn’t even know it’, except Gawker’s genius content farm editor has a sixth sense for virality that most crappy bloggers will never have. A.J. Daulerio will always be remembered as one of the Founding Fathers of Modern Content Farming.

As I struggle to deal with my own periodic content farm existential crises, I wish I could have just invented Gawker. We could’ve had it all. Rolling in the deep pool of unique visitors.

In no way is the ‘conversion of blogs to content farms’ and ‘the secret corporate nature of indie blogs’ a fresh, relevant, or innovative ‘take’. I am just trying to share my view from inside the meme prison with you. Lana Del Rey and I are on this content farm together sort of like we are the last and only two humans left on Earth. We hate eachother, but at the same time we need eachother to stay alive. There will never be any sort of cathartic epiphany where we admit wrong-doing, nor will there ever be a genuine reconciliation. We will never have what feels like a ‘real’ relationship with Lana Del Rey.

Where does ‘the modern media’s relationship’ with Lana Del Rey go from here?

Unfortunately for indie bloggers, it is back to posting dumb MP3s and serving as a well-crafted PR blast for bands that every1 already knows about. As ‘writers’/people who publish text to webpages on the internet, can we be so sure that another meme comet like Lana Del Rey will come again in our lifetime? Will we sit on our porch, every day looking up at the sky, wondering if another Lana will come by... Or this this our final chance to ‘commit suicide’ with other members of our stupid cult in an effort to be transported into the buzz spaceship that is trailing in the tail of the comet [via Heaven’s Gate/Marshall Applewhite vibes]?

Why do we keep going?
Why do we keep farming in the name of blogging in the name of writing?

In the name of authentic music journalism? What more in the name of authentic music journalism.
-Bono [via U2]

Online publishing is ‘relatively new’ [via long-term historical contexts]. I guess this is just a natural part of the maturation process of the beloved idea of the indie blogosphere. But who even wants to be a part of indie blog farming any more?

Even the most ‘talented’ people who ‘write things on the internet that are actually worth reading’ and/or are reduced to farm fodder. Every character of a writer, blog, or content farm’s 140 character or less tweet is cringe-worthy, 100% worth resenting. Part of me feels ‘confused’ as to why any one would even want to ‘be a music writer’, or write about bands/humans/music on the internet. It takes a warped personality to believe that any one ‘gives a damn about what you and ur crappy website’ thinks, unless you are being paid handsomely for it, then you can sort of approach it like a desk job. It will dehumanize you every day, but at least it pays the bills.

Who is ‘actually passionate’ about ‘how they feel about Lana Del Rey’? It doesn’t matter if you are writing an ‘IN DEFENSE OF LANA DEL REY’ or if you are writing a hilarious and/or insightful web culture + societal takedown piece that accurately deconstructs #LDRgate with an original angle. We all have the same motive. Can 1 voice really shift an entire conversation? What the eff do u think ur gonna tastemake? Do u think u can really make another LDR? Those days are gone, child. We’ve peaked. It’s over. The machine’s broken. Somebody call the Geek Squad.

I am on the edge. I no longer believe in blog evolution. I no longer believe in buzz creationism. I am a believer in buzz intelligent design.

It is interesting to think that there is a generation who even finds these memes to be ‘interesting’ enough to think that they want to be a part of the indiesphere discussion. Do they think the can ‘save’ it by showing us cool, new bands? Do they think they can save us from the content farming doom? Do they think that they can reverse the impact of social media on the speedy, link-baiting nature of all websites, designed to ‘get a good jump on’ SEO?

The indie blogosphere is over the hill. Our opinions are old, tired, uninspired. The next generation will follow our lead, continuing to turn things into poo, inspired by the biased outlook on indie celebrity and relevance that we portrayed to them for years. There is nothing worth saving. Everything is COMPLETELY EFFED, but it will keep going, and we will keep writing that it is COMPLETELY EFFED, but no1 really cares and there isn’t really anything to fix so I guess maybe we should act like it is a beautiful indie film and find ‘happiness and peace’ with that truth.

It is all just sort of just ‘funnie’ but also ‘sad.’ Are the dreams in which Lana Del Rey is dying on the stage of SNL = the best we’ve ever had?

Lana Del Rey saw it coming. We all saw it coming.

</embed>

In the post-LDR blogging era, I feel free to openly admit that I don’t care about honoring ‘bands that sound good’. The opinions that I have on bands are not actually my own, and my goal is not to preserve a relationship with readers or bands/artists based on editorial pandering. All I can do is ‘go down in flames’ with my sweet, Princess LanaBB. My demented online personality that motivates me to type these words in order to accumulate hits, empathy, praise, and controversy does not have much time left.

Wag The Blog.

Cultural criticism on the internet is dying because we finally realized that the voices behind blogs, twitter feeds, and authentic writing outlets are as fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous as the fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous voices that we thought we had escaped from.

I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am a content farmer. These words mean more to the Google robot than they do 2 u. There is nothing exciting about writing, tweeting, or sharing opinions. I do not want to inspire any one to follow me into this dark prison, surrounded by a pile of memes, while I must sort thru them and spin them as ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, or whatever else will generate a pageview.

Lana & Me had it all. I’ll look back and think about what I could have done differently. But I'll also think about how beautiful our effed up relationship was and how it some how 'just worked.'

To music and indie purists, Lizzy Grant is the AntiChrist.
To indie modernists and loveslaves of internet content, Lana Del Rey is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Having said that, Lana Del Rey hit a GRAND SLAM on SNL. U did it, BB! I am proud of u. U took 1 for ‘the team’, and now we’re all gonna go to Pizza Hut after the game to celebrate. C U THERE. Let’s share a pitcher of Pepsi. We deserve it. We worked hard.

Is Lana Del Rey indie’s ‘Rebecca Black moment’?
Is LDR ‘not even a big deal’?
Do all buzz humans die?
What’s ur fave content farm?
What’s the future of indie blogosphere?
Do u generally feel ‘who cares’ abt it all?
Do u mainly load webpages ‘out of habit’ not rlly because the site emotionally resonates with u?
If u thought LDR album cycle #1 was fun, are you PUMPED for album cycle #2 in 2-3 years?
Does LDR 'have it all' or 'have nothing'?
Do u <3 LDR for emancipating us from being farm slaves?
Can the farm become self-ware [via skynet]?
Where is Lana Del Rey right now?

"The Great Lana Del Rey Meme Harvest" by Carles

Set to the tune of Garth Brooks' "The Dance"
</embed>

Looking back on the memory of
The Lana Del Rey meme harvest we shared on all the content farms
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye?

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
U could have missed the pain, cyberbullying and slutshaming
But I'd of had to miss the great Lana Del Rey meme harvest

Memeing you, I memed everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know... I might have changed it all...

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go [via SNL]
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Yes my bloglife is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the Great Lana Del Rey meme harvest

Luv u Lana. Mean it. <3 :-*

A 'Complete Guide' to Indie, Mindie, Dubstep, Electro & Alt Buzzband Grammy Nominations


During the infancy of 'indie', back when it was something that individual fans felt that they could 'be proud of', a Grammy nomination was met with astonishment and validation. However, in the post-Arcade-Fire-wins-the-night-and-validates-indie era, it seems like random ass indie bands will get nominated every year, and no1 really cares, and we all already know that 'indie went mainstream'. Gonna be a weird era, but we will still see the same tweets/half-assed 'thought pieces' about 'what indie means' & other gimmicky over-analysis of 'the most coveted prize in American music.'

The most stunning development of the night is Skrillex's five nominations. He is just behind Kanye West and Adele who each have six noms. Skrillex is the first electronic artist put into the Best New Artist category, so he is basically a 'legitimate trailblazer' even if James Blake tries to discredit him because his brand of dubstep is too aggressive. Bon Iver also got some Sympathy Noms, and Foster the Ppl are riding their Pumped Up Kickswaves to another awards show, then we get to see if they 'last' or 'fade away' as one of the 2010s best one-hit-wonders.

Here is a breakdown of indie, electro, mindie, bubble gum indie, cool dad, dubstep, dance_house, chillwave, and other relevant alt genres/humans who were nominated 4 Grammys. (View a complete list of every nomination here.)

The 'Biggest' News

Best New Artist

OMG Skrilly and Bon Iver in the same category?
But isn't Bon Iver a middle aged man from the Midwest? Isn't he an old ass artist who has been around 4 a while? Guess it doesn't matter. Bon Iver was also nominated for 'Record of the Year' and 'Song of the Year', but just because he is a cool dad indie band like the Arcade Fire, don't expect that b0ring a$$ album to 'actually win.' I think this is the beginning of a default 'mainstream indie band' nomination for most of the big awards. It is symbolic/sympathetic.

It seems like the surprise Arcade Fire moment of the show would be Skrillex winning. There is always a bad feeling that Nicki Minaj's big ass will waddle up to accept the award, but as long as she is slippin us some nip, we'll be alright.

!!! Continue Reading this post !!

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

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Why the new M83 album is kinda boring & pretentious


I generally felt 'excited' about the new M83 album, but I have been trying to give it a few 'spins' [via SpotifyTunes] to try to figure out what it is all abt. It seems like critics are 'creaming their pants' over the new album. M83's usual strategy is to have 2-3 'really, really good songs', have a few songs that are artsy and have kids talking, then some more aggressive filler that says 'take us seriously.' It's a pretty good band model, and probably what modern bleepybloop indie buzzbands should follow.

However, I feel like there are some MASSIVE RED FLAGS abt the vibe of this album. Overall, still probably worth 'endorsing', but some of the vibes that it projects are sorta troublesome if you think about them too much.

These are the RED FLAGS associated with M83.

Red Flag #1: The album is effing 73 minutes long.
It takes an artist with 'their head up their own ass' to make a 'beautiful piece of art.' It's generally a good thing when we trust the artist. However, I'm not sure if Hurry Up, We're Dreaming really needed to be so long. I wonder if they just 'held on' to too many b-sides, or if they honestly believe every1 needs to hear every minute of this epic 'double album.' I wanted to 'stay true' to the album and listen to it uninterrupted, but I ended up doing the thing where I just 'searched 4 the good songs', then I will uncheck the ones that aren't as listenable so they don't harsh my vibes.

I wonder if they should have done something to 'brand' the 2 albums as 'different experiences.' Or maybe just had some 'self control' and buried some of the stray songs. If the album was 20 minutes shorter, this would probably be a 'lock' for album of the year. Instead, we have to deal with their desire to create a 'dreamscape' album experience.

Red Flag #2. Why are they so obsessed with children?
There are a few songs with children talking. I know that 'youth' is a buzzworthy gimmick for Generation Y indie fans, but I feel like u sorta gotta 'grow the eff up' and write an album abt 'grown ass problems' eventually. You can't just be all nostalgic, or else you eventually sound like shoegaze kidzbop. This is actually a great way to 'change the discussion' that usually takes place when an album is being evaluated. When ur singing about KID themes, you focus on 'how it feels' as oppose to obsessing about 'how it sounds' in a technical way. It's a good strategy, but M83 is 'technically mature' enough to make that conversation obsolete, anyways.

Their video for 'Midnight City' has children with super powers. Sorta just wish they'd ease up on the kid vibes. We get it, M83. U wish u still had kid vibes, but instead u just play synths and write lyrics about wanting to be an alt version of Peter Pan.

Do u ever start to ride pedophilia waves when u listen 2 M83?

Red Flag #3. BARELY LEGAL Lolita-wave album art

Piggybacking off the vibes of #2, u sorta just don't know what ur supposed to think when u see this album art. U wanna go spend the night with them? R u into 'babysitter porn'? Do u want to be a kid again? Do u want to be a creepy old man who 'gets off' to vibes of youth? I'm confused.

Red Flag #4:Douchey/Pretentious song titles

Moving beyond the actual title "Hurry Up Yall! We're Effing Dreaming, riding twee waves!", it seems like only M83 would 'get away' with these types of song titles.

-'Intro' ALWAYS BEWARE OF ALBUMS WITH INTROS
-'Outro' BE EVEN MORE WARY OF ALBUMS WITH OUTROS
-'Train To Pluton' WHERE THE EFF IS PLUTON?
-'Raconte-Moi Une Histoire' I GUESS THIS ONE IS OKAY BC THEY ARE FRENCH
-'Year One, One UFO' WHAT THE EFF IS THIS UNSOLVED MYSTERY VIBE?
-'OK Pal' OKAY, WHATEVER.
-'Klaus I Love You' WHO THE EFF IS KLAUS? SANTA KLAUSE? I LOVE HIM 2.
-'Claudia Lewis' WHO THE EFF IS CLAUDIA LEWIS?
-'Steven McQueen' WHO THE EFF IS STEVEN MCQUEEN?

Every1 has dumb song titles when analyzed for face value, but these are just sort of funnie. I guess that is a standard M83 gimmick though [via Running in2 Flowers].

Red Flag #5: They are French.


French indie bands get to be way more naturally pretentious. There is a bigger barrier 2 entry for French bands to invade indie markets, but once they become 'branded' as 'legit', they can do whatever the eff they want, even if what they are singing doesn't make sense. Think about Phoenix. Who the hell knows what Thomas Mars is singing? U sorta assume he just wrote lyrics after taking an English As A Second Language class. Oh well. Every1 loves Phoenix.

Maybe France is just branded as 'artsy', so they can do whatever they want. I guess it sorta works. Justice was successful on their first album. M83 has kept it together. Maybe because they live in France, they aren't as obsessed with the American blogosphere, which seems to have a direct impact on the psyches of many American artists. In France, are u more 'free' 2 be an artist? What American buzzband would be 'easier to digest' 4 critics if they were French?

Whenever a band that speaks English tries to do something that is branded as 'very imaginative', it just comes across as 'trying too hard.' French buzzbands can pull off the most Cirque Du Soleil-wave gimmicks evr.

******

The M83 album has highlights, and is probably worth considering an 'admirable piece of art.' However, these Red Flags might alter the long term legacy of HURRY UP, WE'RE DREAMING.

Do u <3 the new M83?
Is it 'flawless'?
Were u taken on a ride with Anthony Gonzalez?
Do u think the album is 10-20% 'overrated' but still 'really solid'?
R u obsessed with kids/youth?
Did chillwave 'exhaust' the entire nostalgia gimmick?
Are ppl being 'too positive' abt this album?
Is Real Estate's "Days" better?
Has M83 perfected bleepybloop music?
What is the album of 2k11?

Is Real Estate ready to 'make the leap' to the top tier of indie alt fame & critical recognition?


[MP3s]
Real Estate It's Real

</embed>

Real Estate - Green Aisles by DominoRecordCo

Real Estate's new album "Days" is available to stream at NPR.

It seems like every one has probably heard an MP3 by Real Estate, Ducktails, Alex Bleeker or another member of their 'collective' that extends way deeper than the AnCo collective collective. It feels like Real Estate are in a similar position to Twin Sister, another likable New Jersey wave band that had a 'charming group of MP3s'/first album/EP, but then had to 'put together a legitimate product' that can be marketed on a mainstream indie label. Both artists released their latest albums on Domino.

I can't really tell if Real Estate is a band that 'every1 has kinda heard' or a band that 'not enough people have heard'. It seems difficult to be a band that 'garners authentic vibes from tastemaking audience.' Real Estate managed to do that, but then you big to wonder about scalability. Can their sound be memorable enough to carve out some legitimate indie marketshare, making them a 'must-see' act as they tour across the country, filling iPods where ever there are eager indie fans?

The latest album seems way more 'memorable'+listenable than the latest Girls album. However, Girls has a proven track record, and the latest album sounds like they are 'serious' and 'trying very hard to be great', which are both overvalued qualities when it comes to vintage sounding rock in the post-chillwave era. What should a band like Real Estate want right now in their career? Do they want a Girls-like jizzfest? Open for some overground bands like The National? Headline shows with forgettable opening bands that do a poor impression of Real Estate?

It's hard to be a buzzband. So many decisions. So many unknown variables that you may or may not be able to control. The tastes of the fans, critics, and buzz altering powers. Personal interest in success. Identifying a realistic goal for your own buzzband. Few buzzbands have the opportunity to become 'legit' beyond just a buzzband that blogs blog even though no1 listens.

May The Buzz Gods bless Real Estate on this Upcoming Album Cycle.
In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Ghost!
@Mother_Indie

Can Real Estate become a top tier indie band?
Is it all just a matter of 'PR' and 'branding'?
Do u dig the new album?
Is it a lock for 'top 10' of 2k11?
How does a buzzband go from the comforts of lofi to scalable mindie without 'sounding like shit'?
Is Ducktails bro 'better off' in Real Estate or should he go 'permanently solo' after the success of "Killing the Vibe", better known as the last Panda Bear song that sounded like the Panda Bear that we once loved?
WHat will p4k give their album?
Is it a solid piece of work, or just 'another nice sounding lofi poppy thingy'?
Can they 'break thru' and what will their buzz status be after this album cycle?
Do we want bands like Real Estate to become more than just a name that recorded a few MP3s that we listen to?

Is Lana Del Rey the next overrated, marginally talented but TOTALLY HOT female in indie?

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Lana Del Ray might be the most buzzworthy new artist of 2k11 so far. I have seen her product/image getting buzzed, and it seems like 'all of the right mainstream and alt forces' are getting behind it, and she is destined to become the next 'leading lady of indie.' Her songs seem alright, like she has a good voice. Her music videos execute a 'modern lofi sample-based' aesthetic, but more importantly remind us that 'she is kinda hot.'

I feel like she has way more upside than Lykke Li because a) she is an American AND b) she is more 'directly pretty.' (Sometimes u get scared that Lykke Li/Robyn will turn into a monster if they are under the wrong lighting). That's what I love about new female in artists (mainstream OR indie)... we accept them based on their looks. The male blogosphere wants Lana Del Ray to succeed because she is 'hot.' She will show off her thick lips, curvy body, voluminou hair. She will sing in her 'swaggy white girl' voice. She will make music videos that trick ppl into thinking that she is 'cool.' One day we will be in the VIP area of a music festival with her, and tweet abt how 'SHE IS SO MUCH PRETTIER IN PERSON.'

I enjoy new female artists because it allows us 2 ask the question: "Do female artists like Lana Del Rey succeed based on 'talent' or are 'looks' more important than we would like to admit, even in our beloved indiesphere?"

I am not sure what her record label situation is, but I would guess she will go with the 'indie major' which is probably 'the right choice' as Cults proved. Her album will be plastered all over ads on blogs. Bros will put her songs on meaningful mix CDs for their girls, just so that girls can 'think they are deep' while they hear a comforting female voice.

Every rising artist needs a gimmick that every music journalist will ask her about for the duration of their album cycle. DID U KNOW LANA DEL REY LIVED IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER?

Pitchfork: Your dad is a successful domain investor, but I read that you were living in a trailer park a few years ago. Do you fetishize that trailer park lifestyle?

LDR: My dad is an entrepreneur and an innovator. Being an entrepreneur doesn't make you a rich tycoon and being an innovator doesn't mean that you're successful. It just means that you’re interesting. No one cares that I lived in a park-- Dad loves trailers and is getting one in the Everglades. My first record label gave me a small check and I moved into a park near Manhattan. It's not something I cared to even share but people keep asking me about it. My songs are cinematic so they seem to reference a glamorous era or fetishize certain lifestyles, but that's not my aim. I'm not trying to create an image or a persona. I’m just singing because that’s what I know how to do.

Create an image 4 us, bb! Ur music isn't THAT important 2 us... Believe!

I am really excited to read tons of interviews that ask her about her white trash/trailer trash lifestyle LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

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Do u vibe 2 her music and videos? Is she getting 'too much buzz'? Will she break the 9.0 barrier on her first album? Is she just a 'pretty face' in front of a talented producer?

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I think there are a lot of females in indie who are way less appealing to look at AND don't have a voice that is theoretically as 'good' as hers, so I guess she deserves 2 'be in the club.' With all female artists, we want them to sing girly songs. I think that Lana Del Ray might be the 'great female hope' in indie, to try to reclaim the glory that Feist has lost.

Here is some post from some random MTV blog that perfectly embodies the generic buzz forces that are hypeballing Lana Del Rey to 'such buzzworthy heights':

If you haven't heard of Lana Del Rey, YOU WILL SOON because we are convinced that this gorgeous crooner is going to be everywhere ASAP, like basically by the time this post is published. ZOMG she is so important. Anyway, this self-proclaimed "gangster Nancy Sinatra" embodies the best of strong, sculpted eyebrows, bump-its + hairsprayed tonsorial PERFECTION, and we can SO vividly picture her swanning out of a beautiful Hollywood Hills house with a kidney bean-shaped swimming pool in an ultramarine nylon mini shift and white patent leather go-go boots.

AND a big-ass dookie rope chain and gold hoops. She is also, obviously, drinking something out of a martini glass. She describes her sound as "Hollywood Pop/Sad Core" and uuuuuuum #sadcore is VERY up our alley. The enormously satisfying juxtaposition of old-school glamour plus inexplicably morose contemporary images in her music video plus super-duper prettiness is completely blowing our minds.

We can't get enough of her video for "Video Games" because not only are our ears oh so happy with her Florence meets Cat Power meets A Fine Frenzy melodies, but we also really need more retro off-the-shoulder sweaters in our lives and closets. Thankfully, we're positive that this isn't the last we've seen of Lana. And PRAISE BE, because her style strikes such a unique and perfect balance between classic beauty and refreshingly unexpected (do you have EYEBALLS? Are you SEEING that top made COMPLETELY of roses/carnations/I'm not a horticulturist???) that is just so ready for its place in the sun. Now run along and entertain yourselves for a while with the video below while we go dig up some hot rollers and lip venom. Swooooooooooooooooon.

i LOVE LOVE LOVE beautiful women in buzzbands!

I just wanna meet her in VIP, get lost in her eyes/lips/curves...

In addition, I think her twitter has 'Best Coast' potential. It might be one of those unfiltered trainwrecks that we get to watch every day.

What a sweetie! I <3 @pitchforkmedia, 2!

Best case scenario, she 'livens up' the female indie scene, talks shit about other bands, gets other females in indie 'mad jealous' of her. Girls h8 when they are no longer the 'pretty new girl.' Then Lana BB will go on to 'cross over', becoming richer than 99% of females in buzzbands, and 'never looks back' on the crappy world of female buzzsingers who h8 her so much. The blogosphere can continue to like her for too long based on the 'WE CREATED HER AND WE ARE NOT LETTING HER GO' theory.

Is she the new perfect alt female aesthetic?

"I can't wait to hang this poster in my room!" -a girl / hornie bro who reads too many indie blogs

Has she catapulted to the 'top of the indie female charts', even above Feist?

Should she just start releasing bikini photos instead of mp3s?

Is Lana Del Rey's music vaguely meaningful enough to appeal to women?
Are all female solo artists in music just 'manufactured' and 'marketed based on their looks'?
Will every male blogger in the world overvalue her, just based on her looks?
Is she destined to become the next female indie music + fashion icon?
Is she way better than Lykke Li / St Vincent already?
Is Lana Del Rey the 'final nail in the coffin' for St. Vincent's career?
Has she surpassed Alice Glass / Vicki LeGrand / Maddie Follin levels?
Is her gimmick 'fresh', 'stale' or 'whatever'?
How do u feel abt the forces that create a buzzband?
Does it seem 'fair and balanced' or 'arbitrary' and 'based on random bullshit'?
Is Lana Del Rey TOTALLY HOT?

Oh Lana BB... No 1 has put a spell like this on me since Regine...

R u on #TeamLana, or r u a #LanaH8R?

"Go play ur video games, bb..."
-a lamestreamer on Facebook trying to be 'deep', 'singing' lyrics from her fave new female artist

Some juggalo band samples Ariel Pink. Has lofi 'crossed over' 2 horrorcore?

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In this video footage of a live performance of the horrorcore band CORPSE CIRCUS, we hear the Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti song "Fright Night" being utilized as a sample. The band sings along with Ariel's pop vibes, and eventually departs 2 touch on horrorcore themes like killing ppl, having sex with dead bodies, and other dark, violent images.

This begs the question(s)...
Has Ariel Pink 'gone horrorcore'?
Did he license this song in order 2 reach juggalo audiences?
Is Ariel 'getting dark'?

Can CORPSE CIRCUS break thru 2 the indiesphere?
Is this a buzzband we should all know abt?

Now that horrorcore rapper Tyler the Creator has broken into the indiesphere, maybe more horrorcore acts will follow. Maybe Bon Iver was a lil bit 'too lite' for some indie fans who are raging against the 9.5.

Sorta got dark listening 2 this song "CHOPPIN U UP", which tells the story of chopping up ur bod! I think it is a metaphor 4 life, and haterz.

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Thinking abt gaining 100 lbs. and buying an XXL, sleeveless CORPSE CIRCUS t-shirt.

Should I start a digital agency that curates sponsored, premium content 4 juggalos by juggalos?

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R u vibing to this new sample-based Horrorcore group?
Has Ariel Pink 'broken thru'?
Will we hear Ariel's darkest lyrics since "Menopause Man"?
R u getting in2 lofi horrorcore?
Is lo-rrorcore the next relevant indie genre?
Will Ariel Pink 'headline' at the Gathering of the Juggalos?

PREVIOUSLY


Horrorcore is bad for society/humanity. Horrorcore must die.

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Read more>>>>

Watching buzzbands watch other buzzbands.

Photo via Brooklyn Vegan


Going to see live music isn't really that interesting to me. I'm way past my alternative youth, back when I thought the live music experience was meaningful. But I am really interested in watching buzzworthy interactions, deals, and knowledge-sharing activities going down. When you are posted up in the VIP area of a relevant concert or festival, you can't help but notice buzzbands watching, scoping out, and analyzing other buzzbands. It is a natural stage before an act of 'bronoodling' can go down.

I saw this picture of George Lewis Jr. and the other members of Twin Shadow watching another buzzband. They look very focused, trying to retain as much knowledge and info as possible. The truth is, a buzzband is a lot like a human. A buzzband has hopes. A buzzband has dreams. A buzzband has desires. A buzzband has insecurities. Every buzzband wants to be the best buzzband that they can be, but tons of other buzzbands are standing in the way. Buzzbands want to be friends with other buzzbands. Buzzbands get in fights with other buzzbands. Buzzbands make up. Buzzbands eat, poop, live and die. Buzzbands experience high highs and low lows.

The act of a buzzband watching another buzzband encapsulates this entire range of emotions within the singular/universal buzzband existence.

Why do buzzbands watch other buzzbands?

a) To pay their dues -
A lesser known buzzband watches an established buzzband to 'pay their dues.' It is sort of like doing homework, and paves the way for a c-level buzzband to introduce themselves to an a-list buzzband. Then they can tweet about how 'at the end of the day, the Arcade Fire deserved to headline Coachelly for the 10th year in a row.'

Example: Some bro in a chillwave lofi project watching the Arcade Fire then going up to Win Butler and expecting him 2 know who he is because his mp3 was on Pitchfork one time. After the show, he goes up to Win and says 'great show.' Win Butler finds out who he was 2 years later.

b) To 'size up' their competition- Buzzbands are insecure. Buzzbands do want to be 'the best they can be'. Scouting other buzzbands is a great way to know how hard ur buzzband has to work to trick people into thinking your buzzband is amazing. Also a good way to analyze the gap between a buzzband's live performance and studio recordings.

Example: Going to see an LCD Soundsystem concert, and saying, "Ya. His voice isn't that great and the synths are pretty meh."

c) To 'intimidate' a weaker buzzband- This psychological move is usually done by 'pretentious' and/or outspoken A-list buzzband. They want to go to a sidestage at a music festival, and let an up and coming buzzband know "ur not welcome in our club." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Example: Dave Longstreth of the Dirty Projectors hears about a DIY buzzband that has one mp3 and is playing their first show at a relevant Brooklyn art space. He goes to the show knowing who the buzzband is, gets hammered, ruins the show by chatting and laughing, then snubs the lofi frontman when he tries to make small talk.

d) A buzzband watching a mainstream famous buzzband - Buzzbands are just like you and me. Sometimes we are fascinated by mainstream acts and want to know if they 'live up to the 10.0 mainstream album sales hype.'

Example: Best Coast watching Kanye West and livetweeting about it saying something like 'Ye is The Truth!'

e) Doing some 'research' on 'gear'/'equipment' - Buzzbands are under constant pressure to stay relevant, and that sometimes includes the implementation of cutting edge instruments and meaningful on-stage visual displaying technology. Buzzbands are always 'looking to take the next step', building a more relevant, yet universal sound, and have a 'sweet live show.'

Example: A buzzband going to see Animal Collective and being like 'ya i can do that. pretty lame/easy. Gotta hit Guitar Center and buy a copy of Adobe After Effects.'


f) Buzzbands are friends with other buzzbands -
Some buzzbands knew other buzzbands before they were buzzhumans, like they went to college together, so they just vibe out in VIP and pretend to watch eachother even though they are probably a little bit resentful, and all like "I never thought they would make it this far because their college demos sucked."

Example: Deakin goes to an Avey Tare show.

**IMPORTANT**
Buzzbands do not watch other buzzbands because they 'like music.' People in buzzbands can no longer appreciate music. All they can do is analyze their competition. It's all a very intense war, and if you don't seize your moment and strategize to 'win' indie, you might become irrelevant.

****
I've been around a lot of high-level buzzbands who have logged thousands of miles on tour, meeting tons of buzzbands and festivals, and buzzbands can be complex. Sort of like human nature. But like human nature, buzzband nature can be simple.

Like the buzzband Cults once said, "Go... outside." Buzzbands must venture out of their comfort zone in order to network, build alliances, and strategize to take down their competition.

Why do buzzbands watch other buzzbands?
Do u wish u were in a relevant buzzband or does it seem like too much social stress and pressure?
Is buzzband life just a big competition?
Is life 'just a game'?
Do u have what it takes to become an A-level or B-level buzzband?
Who are the meanest/nicest buzzbands in the game 2day?
Have u ever seen a buzzband intently watching another buzzband's show?

Twin Shadow

Buzzband

Twin Shadow is the 2k10 buzzband buzz project of George Lewis Jr. His hit album FORGET is 'highly bloggable.'

Read more>>>>

My buzzband wanted 2 go viral so we blocked traffic on a busy freeway.


It's so difficult to be a band these days. Close to impossible to get a decent amount of buzz from an authentic tribe of followers on the internet. U have to something special 2 get some1's attention on the internet, fighting against so many other memes that exist.

There's more 2 being in a band than just writing songs, recording MP3s, building myspace layouts, and guilting your immediate network of friends into coming to ur crappy shows. U have be be a master online strategist who knows how to generate content that truly 'gets ppl tlkng.' Gets ppl tweeting. Gets ppl buzzing. Gets ppl excited abt ur brand.

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My buzzband and I decided 2 'take matters into our own hands', and do something that would get the attention of not only 'in-real-life' consumers, but also generate bloggable content that would force people on the internet to listen 2 our band. We decided to block a busy expressway in our local city during rush hour traffic. We knew there was a high chance of us getting arrested, but we didn't care because we were probably never going to get real jobs anyways.

This was our moment. Our time to shine. We weren't just playing for the cars in the front row of our traffic jam. We were playing for all of the ppl who were gonna watch this shit on youtube, and share it with their friends. They would see how chill we were, how 'effing sick' our music was, and what we were all about. We would be on every television channel and blog, and soon we would get a 'sweet ass record contract.' Maybe we would even make some money on iTunes sales 2 mainstreamers.

Here's what we look up close up. We're the Imperial Stars. Do we seem chill? Do yall wanna listen 2 our mp3s? If we 'guestlist' u, can u come backstage and give us Beejes?

Just trying 2 get home 2 suburbia
But there was a buzzband blocking my way
so trapped in my life
so trapped in my car
so trapped on society's roads (physically + metaphorically)
now trapped listening to this crappy buzzband :-(

This is 'brilliant marketing' because we are also releasing a track called "Traffic Jam." Here is the official music video. U can see we're sorta like 3 Oh! 3 meets Linkin Park, except way more bad ass and u can't even really describe us.

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We truly embody the spirit of rock n roll.

Unfortunately, the plan didn't really work. We were arrested and our converted ice cream truck was impounded. We only got about 5 minutes of footage, and it was kinda crappy. We really shoulda hired a production team, and thought more about 'sound' issues. Maybe we invested too much in our 'official video' and we shoulda spent more on the 'guerilla' product. Worried we can't try again or else we will see 1-5 years of jail time. Guess we missed our 1 shot, our 1 opportunity to truly create a 'viral meme.'

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Feeling sad. Keep refreshing youtube to check our view count, expecting to see it in the millions. Still in the low thousands. Feeling like a failure. Like now we are 'effed' every time we get a background check and we didn't even go viral. Honestly feel like committing internet suicide.

At least we got some sweet 'chopper' footage via the local news station's 'eye in the sky' helicopter.

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Feeling alive.
Knowing that 'at least we tried'
Some bands never get blggd abt
But I proved today that I will do anything it takes to get 'mad coverage'
Maybe we'll get a few more fans, maybe we won't
But we were able 2 prove that we care abt our music reaching new fans
We didn't just make an anonymous myspace and upload a lofi mp3
We brought the music 2 the ppl.

Are these bros hella unchill?
Does their buzzband suck, so it doesn't matter how viral they go bc no1 is going 2 listen 2 them?
Were u in traffic when they started playing and did it make u late 4 dinner/soccer practice/a real buzzband's show?
Which buzzband do u wish played in traffic?
Do u hope these bros were put in jail 4evr?
Is this a huge safety hazard, and should the judge 'come down on them' hard 2 set an example, letting buzzbands know that it isn't chill 2 put other ppl's lives' in danger just because u want 2 go viral?
Are bands required 2 become 'master internet marketing strategists' in the modern world?

What would ur life be like if u couldn't hear buzzbands?


Sometimes I wake up after having terrible nightmares. I dream that I have lost one of my five senses.

One time, I dreamt that I couldn't see any more, and I was stuck in the middle of a forest trying to navigate by 'feeling it all around', unable to see all of the things that were in front of me. Another time I had a dream that I could no longer taste--sitting at a buffet of neverending Chili's, Subway, and McFlurries, however, there was no joy in my tastebuds. I had a dream that I could no longer smell, and when I smoked marijuana, I could no longer 'get high' because my smell buds were dead. One other nightmare I found myself unable to 'feel' in the middle of receiving a tugjob. I am unable to 'cum' and must explain to my partner that I can no longer feel the tight grip of their hand on my peen.

My ultimate nightmare is a recurring one, where I lose the ability to hear. I had my earbuds embedded deep within my ears, music jamming so loud, really vibing out to all of the buzzbands on my iPod Phone. However, all of a sudden the musics cut out. I fiddled with the headphone jack on the phone, and double checked the volume settings. Everything seemed fine. Frantically scrolled thru all of my Music Library, hoping my iPod wasn't broken.

It turned out my iPod was just fine. It turned out that my hearing was gone. The ultimate nightmare. What would I do if I couldn't enjoy buzzbands? Would I lose 40-70% of my personal brand that is constructed around the indie music scene? How would I fill my time if I couldn't scan blogs all day searching 4 relevant artists?

I had lost the ability to 'hear'. I had lost the ability to be an active member of the buzzband ecosystem.

How would I escape from all of the troubled thoughts in my head without free mp3s?
What would I listen 2 when I smoked dank?
How could I impress a girl without making her an indie mix CD/playlist?

If you go to a relevant music festival, will there be some1 there to do 'sign language' to convey the vibe of the buzzband + relay important meaningful lyrics 2 u?

Yes, there will be.

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It seems like there is an entire demographic of 'deaf ppl' out there who can't hear buzzbands, but still deserve the opportunity to 'love music.'

There is so much emphasis on buzzbands to create 'buzzworthy mp3s', however, maybe there's a lot of ppl who can't hear who don't even require MP3s. Maybe if you just have a 'cool-looking' personal brand, and have some insightful lyrics for deaf ppl, ur buzzband can sell a lot of albums. Maybe there' people out there who will 'still buy albums' just as long as there is sweet album art + content is ur 'CD booklet.' Always thought that in order 2 make a great buzzband u just had to make 'great noises recorded as MP3s' and 'look cool', however, it seems like maybe u only need to 'look kewl.'

Am I going 2 go deaf 1 day and lose my ability to hear?
Will I still be able to hear buzzworthy mp3s of yesterday in my head?
Do the hearing impaired deserve 2 enjoy buzzbands?
Is there more to a buzzband than just 'listening' and 'feeling kewl'?

Don't forget abt disabled ppl. They wanna ride chillwaves, uncover buzzbands, throw down rape gazes, and attend relevant music festivals, too. Feeling inspired. Might start a buzzband without traditional 'music'

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Maybe in a way, we're all already kinda deaf.
Maybe we need to stop listening to buzzbands
There is a language of buzz
A method of buzzworthy communication
that transcends audio/visual vibes
Beyond some sort of media that u can 'blog abt'

True buzzbands appeal 2 all humans
Equal opportunities
Making accommodations 4 those with special needs
Every1 is invited to experience their brand

Do u think the 'sign language' ppl at music festivals are 'chill' or do they ruin vibes for people just trying to enjoy buzzbands?
Do all humans have the right to enjoy buzzbands?
Would u still enjoy ur favourite buzzband even if u could no longer hear?
What do bands need to do to appeal to the 'hearing impaired'?
Should Barry Obama pass some sort of law that requires clubowners to staff a full time 'signer'?

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Does sign language get u 'hornie' if the lyrics are sexie?

What is the future of chillwave? Have new chillwave bands emerged?


Sometimes I get worried about the emerging/emerged genre of 'chillwave.' Tons of pressure on me because I 'invented it.' Maybe even more pressure on me as a 'tastemaker' than on the bands that actually have to use their computers to make new MP3s. Feel like I have a 'social responsibility' to chillwave, to 'stay on the metaphorical surfboard' until the chillwave thaws, and takes me under [via Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow]. Maybe I should do more to 'keep it alive', and box more artists into the genre. Maybe it would be good for their careers. Maybe it will lead to the chillwave bubble 'bursting' hard.

Here are some mp3s that 'show promise' and/or represent the challenges of importing new bands into the chillwave genre.

*** Chillwave MP3 #1 ***


[MP3]
Small Black Photojournalist

Small Black has been riding chillwaves for a while, getting 'mad coverage' from Pitchforks, but I was 'resentful/'cautious' abt covering them because the three best chillwave artists had already been established (Neon Indian, Washed Out, Toro Y Moi). You just don't want to expand too fast, then weaken the genre by letting in 'any old Brooklyn Buzzband', then the chillwave bubble bursts, and ur stuck covering bands that are as irrelevant as Interpol, Blonde Redhead, and Broken Social Scenes [via the death of indie / buzzband euthanasia].

Since Memory Tapes 'sucks' / only has 1 or 2 'solid' MP3s, it seems like Small Black is 'prepared' to be relevant as long as they 'deliver' a listenable album, which will 'come out' in October. I am 'rooting for them' because Twin Shadow probably needs some 'competition.' Was skeptical of Small Black but "Photojournalist.MP3" shows promise, and they can probably have a fruitful 3-5 year indie career as long as their album is 'chill study music' or better.

XX BONUS VINTAGE WASHED OUT RMX XX
Small Black Despicable Dogs (Washed Out Remix)

Remember when Small Black was 'blog famous' for being Washed Out's backing band?
Should Washed Out have 'bought them out', or will Washed Out 'survive' playing solo shows/hiring a new band?

Web Presence: http://www.myspace.com/smallblacksounds

*** Chillwave MP3 #2 ***


[MP3] [via IGIF]
Palmbonen Moon Children

Not sure how to really feel about this MP3. Palmbomen is apparently from Holland/The Netherlands. I can't tell if it is 'chillwave' or just some Euro bro with tons of vintage synths. Chillwave is 'pretty self aware' so u sorta gotta know that ur making music to fit into some weird electronic, sampled, nostalgic genre that earns u the 'right' to have the 'chillwave' label slapped on u during a writeup. Palmbomen means 'palm trees' in some foreign language, so maybe he knows what is up, but he'd probably have a better chance of 'making it' if he was some random place in Brooklyn / South Carolina / Texas / California / New Mexico / Colorado.

Feel like if u were told that this was a Neon Indian MP3, it would be 'easier to buy in2' / it would melt some blog servers or something. Don't think the rest of his stuff is 'that good', so u can sorta just file this mp3 away as a 'blog hit wonder' [via chill European bro]

Web Presence: http://www.myspace.com/palmbomen

*** Chillwave/lofi MP3 #3 ***


[MP3] [via gvb]
Waskerley Way Cat Alert

This mp3 is apparently by some cat concept band. Not sure if they are chillwave or catwave. This mp3 might be more 'post-Ariel Pink lofi.' That genre really throws me off because I want to say it is 'crappy' but also say it is 'amazing' [via pop sensibilities]. Wonder if this would be a 'song of the year' if it was actually by Ariel Pink.

Do u think 'indie music' is in trouble if you can talk urself into this mp3 being a 'relevant blogworthy mp3'?
Has our 'taste' degenerated in the post-AnCo era of indie music?
Has 'the shit' hit 'the fan'?

Web Presence: http://www.myspace.com/waskerleyway

*** Lofi/vintage MP3 #4 ***


[MP3]
TEEN INC Fountains

'Indie' music has degenerated so much because so many alts have a 'need' to discover new, fresh yet nostalgic sounds. This usually means 'working backwards' and re-importing aesthetics into the indiesphere. Feel like this brand of new age / post-jazz lofi has a 'chance' to emerge if bands can execute. Not sure if these bands can ever monetize very well, but they have an opportunity to get 'tons of coverage' from websites that think they are authentic/represent 'the new sound.'

Sorta feel worried about Ariel Pink's career. Feel like he might already have 'all the fans' he will ever have, so some sort of lofi prodigy might 'overtake him' and brand themselves to 'crossover' instead of just have some 10-15 years as a 'lofi legend' who is portrayed as an 'acid-wave recluse.'

*** Do yall know about any more kewl new indie-wave chillwave post-post bands? ***

What is the future of chillwave?
Will it die? Is it dead?
Will new chillwave bands emerge / join the genre?
Should there be a 'chillwave meeting' where chillwave leaders discuss the future of the genre?
Has 'shitty lofi' ruined the blogosphere [via 'trying 2 hard' 2 sound 'unique']?
Can the Small Black 'make the leap' and do they 'deserve' it?
is catwave more relevant than chillwave?
Is lofi music 'ruining everything'?
IS the conceptual lofi era going to end, and will consumers swing back 2 appreciating mp3s with a high production value?
Are nostalgia wave bands 'cheapening' the indiesphere?
Should we just 'hand over' album of the year to the Arcade Fire? [via mnstrm indie]
Will Small Black 'beat' Best Coast / Wavves on p4k?
Should chillwave 'die' or 'live on' forever in the spirit of new buzzbands?
Should new buzzbands 'try to join' chillwave, or aspire to create a new sound/genre?
Do u believe in buzzband reincarnation?
Can chillwave/ post-chillwave bands write 'sweet albums' or will chillwave morph into the bloghouse experience [via only expecting sweet single mp3s+remixes]?

Will Best Coast’s stoner personal brand limit her critical & commercial upside?

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Video footage has emerged on Pitchfork.com of Best Coast, aka Bethany Cosentino, smoking mad dank with some African American bro. It seems like this is the 'pinnacle' of her stoner brand. After hundreds of tweets related to 'smoking dank', interviews about Cali dank, and danking around with her dank dank weed marijuana, it seems like we finally get to see '@The_Real_Bethany.' Chillin in her natural state, 'lifted' as hell, getting lifted-er.

One can only wonder how her 'weed loving/addicted' brand will impact her long term brand, both commercially and critically. It seems like in all walks of life/genres of art, u kinda have to placate the conservative mainstreamers in order to 'go far.' Ur brand has to be strong, yet inoffensive. Present nothing alienating/controversial about yourself, just keep making agreeable jams without getting political and doing things that are 'illegal' in the eyes of tweens/grandparents. Wonder if Converse would offer her a record deal 'all over again' after this 'controversial' dank video. Seems like a huge 'brand liability issue.'

What's ur fave part of this video? Does it remind u of watching high schoolers smoke weed when they talk about 'how high' they are? Do u like when they talk about abusing medical marijuana cards? How abt when they talk about how medical marijuana establishments are 'putting the local dealer out of business.'

Best Coast's mp3s seems 'agreeable' and 'listenable', which is very uncommon for many bands with female lead singers/female sound projects. There is so much commercial upside in a weak female indie market, where decent female mp3s and albums can see a huge sales bump just by 'being female' [via the Feist/Zooey Deschanel theory]. Seems like she really could have reached a tweeny Feist-like status on album #2.5 if she just 'stayed chill' and didn't 'tank' her personal brand. Wonder if we will look back at 2k10 and just think of it as the year of M.I.A./MGMT/Best Coast letting us down for a multitude of different reasons.

Critically, it seems like the indie blogosphere views her 'art' as a 'joke.' Some bros probably always thought she sounded like 90s alt rock disguised as fuzz, but other bros were 'more than willing' to neglect these vibes just to have another female in 'the game.' Why do u think indie bros are 'turning' on Best Coast. Probs because of the 'U = the people u chill with' theory [via guilt by association with WAVVbro]. Not sure if the criticsphere takes Best Coast and/or WAVVES seriously as artists/musicians, mainly just sees them as meme generators. Feel like they both had a 'golden opportunity' to take advantage of a weak year of music, but it is clear that they aren't 'serious' about becoming 'great' indie musicians. Instead, they just want to milk tour life and record deal advances to put themselves in situations where weed is 'bountiful.'

Now is the time that Best Coast must dump WAVVES in order to save her commercial + critical viability. She must do so in a public forum, possibly using twitter, or in an exclusive sit-down interview, similar to LeBron James' "The Decision." In addition, she should 'check into rehab' to save her brand.

Sorta feel sad about social media + the modern world. So much pressure to 'be somebody', to 'evolve ur personal brand' into something greater than yourself. Not sure who I wanted her to be, and if that person is even who she wanted to become. I sorta wanted her to dye her hair blonde, and have a short stint on VH1/eventually end up playing Lillith Fair when she is 38. Maybe write a few songs for Demi Lovato/Miley Cyrus along the way. I wanted to hear her song(s) in iPad commercials. I am so angry at her for 'not seizing her opportunity.' It feels like I am 'stuck in hell' with my bro who smokes too much weed, wasting his/her opportunity to 'get their life together' and experience 'something more.'

Only a few indie products have the opportunity to become 'Top Tier Indie bands' and this is becauase they are not afraid to 'achieve greatness.' Whether they are pretentious about it or chill about it, the pursuit of everlasting indie greatness is what separates 'the heavyweights' from the 'meme of the week' buzzbands. As high level post-indie music fans, we expect top tier buzzbands to take their jobs seriously, doing their best to present art which inspires high level discussion about genre-bending mp3s.

What r ur feelings towards Best Coast like?
Is it simple, like 'she is just a dumb stoner', or is it more complex, like 'she represents everything that is wrong with buzzbands'?
When u monitor Best Coast memes, do u think of her as a 'real artist'?
Is Best Coast good at rolling blunts?
On a level from 1 to 10, how high were u when u read this post?
Is it always a good policy to 'do drugs on camera'?
Will the Chicago police put Best Coast in jail after seeing this video?
Will Best Coast's PR team get this video taken down, or have they passed 'the point of no return'?
Is 2k10 the year of buzzbands getting 'coverage' but not necessarily having the product/brand to back it up?

Which indie bands are 'openly pursuing greatness'?
The Arcade Fire?
LCD Soundsystem?
Animal Collective?
Grizzly Bear?
Ariel Pink?
M.I.A.? (no)
MGMT? (maybe??)
Chillwave artists? (to be determined on album #2)
WAVVCOAST? (no, just smokin some dank)


Some bands want to have an 'album of the year.'
Few bands want to have an 'album of the decade.'
Truly great bands want to have an 'album of the century.'
I only listen to bands that are aiming to create an 'album of the Millenium.'
Still waiting for a buzzband who creates the 'Album of Forever, Yall.'

-Carles, 2k10

CHILLWAVE OIL SPILL: When Natural and Man-Made Forces Collide To Form an Indie Disaster


Every morning, I walk out on to the beach and dig my toes into the sand. The sand feels fragile, malleable--as if I could shape the entire coast line into any desired land formation by myself. The waters are calm and blue. I put on my waterproof iPod and go for a swim in the chill waves of the ocean.

It's important for me to do this every morning because it keeps me in touch with Mother Indie (the sister of Mother Earth), who is responsible for creating the indiesphere's natural wonders. We live in such a jaded post-blog era, where we would like to theorize that all organic buzz is manufactured by man-made forces. People try to be cutting edge by saying that websites, blogs, PR agents, record labels and other man-made companies are the forces that control the indiesphere.

But they don't realize that there is something 'organic' about at the heart of the indiesphere. They don't honor Mother Indie as the lady who bestows indie gifts upon us--mp3s, zany album art, music videos, and other buzzband related memes.

"Authentic buzz is organic. U can't create man made buzz--true alts will see thru it."
-Mother indie

Mother Indie is the natural force that creates buzzbands. She keeps the waters chill, waves crashing against the coast in a powerful, yet chill manner. She governs the natural processes of the album lifecycle. She has a direct relationship with Jimmy Fallon that keeps him in touch with the internet indie zeitgeist and helps him to book relevant buzzbands on his show. Mother Indie is the chil force behind everything beautiful and relevant in the buzzosphere. These ugly incidents in the buzzosphere are usually the result of human error and misguided judgment + action.

There are natural laws which guide the indiesphere. No one band, genre, website, blog, or any other buzz entity has more power than Mother Indie. A circle of memes has been created in the buzzosphere, and all participants in this beautiful process have a natural life & a natural death.

As consumers, we try so hard to 'manage our personal brands', and make educated decisions about relevant bands. We try to predict trends. We do our best to invest in buzzbands before they are mainstream bands. We ask 'Why?' We feel entitled to know 'How?' When a buzzband 'breaks thru', we want to understand the flow of data + information from band --> blog --> consumer, and how that creates a sustainable business model.

We need to stop asking 'why?' and learn to trust Mother Indie again. There is no explanation for the natural wonders of the buzzosphere.

So many snark critics accuse high level alts of being 'trend hopping mother fuckers', but they don't understand that the true authentic alt is in touch with Mother Indie. While an outsider sees some1 who is constantly evolving, searching for new sounds, mp3s, and aesthetics, they don't realize that Mother Indie is the one guiding us on our quest for authenticity. We aren't just regular consumers, there is a spirit guiding everything that we do.

"AltLife is more than just collecting mp3s."
-Mother Indie

Sometimes I wonder how man-made forces can 'contaminate' our alt blog world. I feel like sometimes bands are 'forced down our throats', getting 'buzz status' when their music isn't even 'that good.' These man-made bands have numerous detrimental effects on our buzzosphere. The voice of the tastemaker is weakened. Our festival lineups are weakened. The 2nd and 3rd tiers of indie music fans are left 'confused', accidentally purchasing these albums because they trust indie websites.

Buzz pollution caused by man-made buzz is going to thaw our chill ass o-zone layer, exposing us to many hardcore rays from the sun, eventually ending the buzzosphere as we know it. Some could say that this is 'natural', but it is not up to one man, one blog, one band to decide the fate of the indiesphere. We can preserve our ecosystem as long as we'd like it to exist, but I worry. I worry that our time might be nearing, and our buzzosystem will begin to die.

Mother Indie is responsible for so many natural indie wonders.

Sometimes new genres are created. Some 'make it.' Others die as soon as they were created. We must trust in Mother Indie, knowing that she lets the 'culturally relevant genres' last forever.

Blogs come and go.
MP3s accumulate on your computer/iPod just to be lost in a hard drive crash/spill in2 water.
Buzzbands go into hibernation every 1 year.
Consumers are inspired to share their fave buzzbands with groups of their closest friends.

"Remix others as you would like to be remixed." -Mother Indie

It seems like there are a lot of questions about the origination of 'chillwave.' Is chillwave a 'man-made' phenomenon, or is there something organic about it, created by Mother Indie? Were chillwave buzzbands created by man-made forces, or were they gifts provided by Mother Indie?

Some say that chillwave is a 'bullshit blog microtrend.' Others have invested their hearts in it, and have disconnected from the core spirit of 'indie rock.' Critics are so divided right now, unsure what is 'real' and what is 'bullshit.' There is always a desire to 'move on.' It is natural to try to find security in what we once cherished (the Arcade Fire, Panda Bear, etc), but we can't be afraid any more. We can't be afraid of the unknown. We can't live each day on edge, praying for a new buzzband to provide us with some relevant MP3s.

We have to trust. We have to trust in Mother Indie.
Or else buzzbands will get soaked in oil, unable to move/evolve. We will all die.

I feel scared. I feel like some1 is going to cause an oil spill into chill waters. It will be some sort of 'man-made' force, trying too hard to create a new trend/band. Maybe a blog oil spill, leaking an album before it is in high quality format. Maybe a mainstream indie band buzz tanker will 'spill', contaminating the chill waters. Maybe a business that is 'trying too hard' to reach alts will cause a Mountain Dew/soda/liquor/oil spill.

So much 2 clean up.

So much pressure to 'evolve', for music to 'move forward' and find a new aesthetic/trend to rally behind.
But maybe Mother Indie just isn't ready for that yet. She knows what she is doing. Bands, trends, genres will all die one day. But man made pollutants / unchill vibes might prematurely end what we have.

R u gonna be a part of the solution, chilling in harmony with Mother Indie?
Or are you part of the man-made indie machine?

Just want to chill
avoid man-made indie pollutants
Utopian style chill
where all buzz is organic + authentic

It's time to start cleaning up the blogosphere

It's time to start letting Mother Indie do her thing.

Have u ever been touched by Mother Indie?
Remember that time you felt goosebumps when you saw a buzzband at a music festival as the sun was setting? Mother Indie made that possible.
Do u remember the time you made out with the band member from _______? Mother Indie was your invisible wing man.
Do u remember that time you clicked on a link accidentally, but you found a really sweet buzzband? Mother Indie's hand was on your mouse.
Do u remember when you wasted 2-5 years of your life reading indie music blogs? Mother Indie wants you to know that you weren't wasting time--you were broing down with her.

Tomorrow morning, I'll start my day like I start most days. I'll take a walk out of my Brooklyn-based duplex apartment, thru the conceptual forest, down to the beach, and soak in the chillwaves. Tomorrow will be different though. Because today I realized that Mother Indie is under siege from man-made evils.

Mother Indie is more than just a connected wired + wireless network. Mother Indie is more than just data encoded in an mp3 file. Mother Indie is everything & nothing.

What man-made indie disasters are ruining the blogosphere?
What one website/indie band thinks they are bigger than Mother Indie?
Is chillwave a 'bullshit trend', or is it one of Mother Indie's many gifts?
R u worried about a metaphorical oil spill?
Who is the BP of the indiesphere?
Can Kevin Costner save buzzbands?
Do u believe in Mother Indie, or is the buzzosphere just an incubated network of websites + PR agents + record labels?

Who is the frontrunner for 2k10 Album of the Year?


Can't believe 2k10 is 'flying by.' So many album cycles, but no real 'clear cut album of 2k10 fave' just yet. Feel like we are still waiting for the buzzosphere to 'officially cream their pants' abt 1 album, but no single album has been 'good enough' to warrant mass spoogage. Really wish we had a 'gold standard' of 2k10, because as of right now, it is like we are all worshiping different Gods, valuing different versions of 'divine truth.'

Maybe we took for granted 2k9. I feel like that was possibly the 'peak' of the blogosphere, back when we had tons of positive vibes to share, and we weren't looking to tear down old indie bands like we are in 2k10. 2k10 seems really 'defensive' like we are protecting some the idea of some era that might never have existed, and hesitantly waiting for a new album that transcends our existences. Every time an album fails to come thru, we can't help but have a huge meltdown, reflecting on better days.

Do u think 2k10 has been a 'good year' for music or a 'shitty year'?
What has changed between 2k9 and 2k10?
Will 2k11 be a better year because
What are the chances that these relevant albums will win album of the year?

////////

MGMT - Congratulations


Seems 'impossible' that any website would mortgage their brand to 'take a stand' for this album. Even if people took the 'radical approach' and tried to make it sound like a masterpiece, it still wouldn't really be believable.

More than likely, this will be named the 'biggest flop' of 2k10, and it will enable websites to write overly in-depth articles about 'how and why' MGMT 'went wrong.' Like this album will be a case study on 'how not to manage sophomore release.' Feel like a lot of indie bands will study this flop, and do their best to make fans happy instead of writing a 'far out, trippy album.'

IS MGMT's album 'the worst album of 2k10'?

///////

Beach House - Teen Dream


Beach House seems to have 'delivered', and will probably be a 'Top 5 lock' just because it is 'their time' to become Tier 1 alt celebs. I think their product is generally consistent, and they produce buzz mp3s on schedule, so they deserve to be rewarded. Much like we honor McDonalds with our business for providing a consistent product, we honors Beach House for serving us adequately every 2 years.

Does n e 1 know if Beach House is a 'band' or just 1/2 people?

////

Toro Y Moi - Causers of This

Wonder how this album will 'do' at the end of the year. I think Chaz Bundick probably needs to release another EP towards the end of 2k10 to 'remind every1 about his brand.' Worried that people might forget about chillwave era buzz mp3s by 2k10.9.

This album seems like it could 'finish anywhere.' Feel excited and scared. I think his brand has 'gotten stronger' since the album release, so maybe if he releases a few more music videos or EPs, people will still feel excited about the brand, and have a positive memory of his album.

Is the chillwave era 'dead' or just 'dormant'/'hibernating'?
Will formal music critics care about chillwave, or are they just looking forward to writing about Neon Indian in 2k11, and how he outgrew the chillwave genre?

////
The National - not sure what the name of their album is

People apparently 'really like this band' or something. Not sure what they sound like. I'm sure they will end up in some top 10 lists since people find them to be meaningful, but also those same people might just go with the Arcade Fire instead.

Is the National for Cool Dads?

//////

Panda Bear - TOMBOY

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Read more>>>>

Joanna Newsom

Alternative Celebrity

Joanna Newsom is some indie songstress who plays the harp and writes weirdo songs that some ppl say are 'amazing.'

Read more>>>>

Beach House

Buzzband

Beach House is a relevant buzzband who has 'tons of indie cred.' Lead singer Victoria LeGrand is known as 1 of the sexiest women in indie.

Read more>>>>

Panda Bear

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

Panda Bear is a member of Animal Collective. He wrote the hit album "Person Pitch" but failed to deliver in 2k10 with TOMBOY.

Read more>>>>

Best Coast

Buzzband

Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

Read more>>>>

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Wavves

Buzzband

WAVVES is a fuzzy buzzy buzzband that sings about aliens, marijuana and being a failure in life but laughing abt it because u r high.

Read more>>>>

Is the new Ratatat video the most boring/brilliant music video of the past 50 years?

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Ratatat's new music video for "Party With Children" is one of the most important music videos ever created in the post-internet music era, where music videos exist for the sake of 'generating blog buzz and conversation.' Everything must be controversial. Everything must be a meme. Bands can't just make good music, they have to create either 'visually stunning' videos, or they have to just do something shocking involving violence and nudity. Seems like your music video can't be 'worth shit' if it costs less than $10,000 to make.

In Ratatat's video for "Party With Children", we are introduced to a bird bro, who I will call RattyTat. RattyTat isn't asked to do much, they basically tell him 'Do your bird thang.' There are no trippy visuals, and no ginger genocides. There is no over the top violence, and no sexuality. There are no free spirited, alt-looking kids roaming around a relevant part of town getting in to trouble + making out with one another.

It is just RattyTat, being a bird. Existing. Not understanding technology. Just wanting to survive, live life like an animal who isn't even a part of a collective. It seems like bands are in a tough place these days when they make music videos, like they have to try to make it seem like they are 'aware of the modern world' or something. Sorta just want music videos that aren't meant to get the attention of mainstreamers who are 'just passin by' on the internet.

Just want to be a bird
Being free
without a computer
not understanding what music is
sounds are just sounds
no music
no internet
no 'labels' assigned 2 sounds, 'good' or 'bad' don't exist
just eating bird seed
pooping
flying around

For a while, I was kinda 'pissed' at Ratatat, because their new song sounded the same as their old song, but now maybe I 'get' it. They are trying to use animals to represent the animalistic existence of buzzbands. All buzzbands are in some sort of alternate ecosystem where they are fighting against natural selection to 'stay relevant.' Their previous song WILDCAT represented the beast inside of them, clawing for survival in an everchanging world.

Now their evolution to house-pet bird serves as a metaphor for the insulated life of an accepted band with a brand. We expect great things from buzzbands, but ultimately, they are just 'being gawked at' while they are inside of a cage, being asked to repeat the same sounds over and over again.

Sorta feel like all buzzbands are 'prisoners' / 'domesticated animals'. Some sort of relationship has formed where we feed them, and they 'do whatever we ask of them.' Seems like there is a lot of pressure on them, or else they won't metaphorically get fed with album sales/youtube views/concert tickets/etc. Wonder if buzzbands who have evolved beyond their first album get pissed about consumer expectations, and how commerce can hold back ur art.

Does n e 1 know what kind of bird is in the Ratatat music video? I sorta want to say he is a parrot, but maybe that is because I only have 'mainstream knowledge' of birds. I did some google image searches, and feel like it might be a cockatoo.

Is it the tanimbar cockatoo?

Maybe it is the Little Corella (aka the Little Cockatoo)?

I feel like this cockatoo is 'too alt' to be featured in a video, since his crown of feathers is sorta a 'look-at-me' type of bird meme

What kind of bird is RattyTat?

Should I get a 'mascot' for my blog, to sorta represent how we are all fighting for survival?
Are 'birds' the new 'bears'?

Is RattyTat the Bird one of the most important alternative celebrities of 2k10?
Will Ratatat bring their cockatoo on tour with them?
Will it fly around the venue, interacting with Ratatat fans in order to strengthen their brand?
Are music videos still 'relevant' / 'artistic', or are they just marketed bullshit?
Should Ratatat change their name to R@@@ in order to fit in with the post-twitter world?

Can The Books be critically relevant in 2k10 or has concept-sample music evolved past them?


[MP3]
The Books Beautiful People

Have u heard the new mp3 by the Books off their upcoming hit album The Way Out? Have u heard of The Books?

Back in 2005, The Books released some album called "Lost and Safe."

</embed>

I think it was 'culturally relevant' cuz it was kinda like art + music. From what I understand, they take 'tons of audio samples' then rearrange them to make songs, or something. Sorta like an even more artsy version of the Avalanches or something. "Less poppy." For some reason, I think rearranging audio samples of people talking + miscellaneous sounds was a more marketable meme in 2k5 since indie rock was kinda vanilla, and more indie fans were 'yearning for an conceptual experience.'

Wonder if they were the forefathers of indie sample-based music. It's so weird when a band comes back from hiatus, and they are evaluated with the same scrutiny/critical/socially-aware review system that modern buzzbands have to get run through. Feel like 2k5 was sorta like 'playing tee ball', but 2k10 is 'the mother effing big leagues' of independent music. Buzzbands have to be on their a-games, dropping memes, making sure they stay authentic, or else buzz blogs will shit all over them.

It seems like concept music has come so far in the past 2-3 years. An Co Merriweather Post Pavvy. The chill wave era. Tons of other mediocre concept bands that have garnered critical approval even though their product is kinda mediocre. I feel semi-stimulated listening to the new mp3 "Beautiful People" by the books, but I wonder if my taste is 'so refined' that this doesn't really do much for me any more. Like I need a 360 degree stimulating, socially relevant + aware meme dropping band to fully garner any sort of high level praise from me.

From what I understand, The Books consists 2 bros. One on a cello and another one on guitar. Seems like they really turned their live indie performance into an 'artistic experience.' I wonder if they will 'go mainstream' and sell albums to tweens, or if they are stuck with their same fan base from 2k5.

</embed>

Back in the day, I feel like I had more time to listen to bands talk about their artistic gimmicks, branding themselves as 'interesting artists/humans' in long interviews. Not sure if I have that kinda time with so many music / ginger / mp3 memes flying around at such a rapid rate. Just need a band to produce some good mp3s, a decent album, a conceptually interesting music video, play some talk shows, play live in my local scene, then I will be happy.

Will The Books release a Top 10 album of 2k10?
What score will the Books album get from Pitchfork?
Do u feel like the Books had it easy, back when the indiesphere wasn't so competitive?
Are bands not conceptually relevant until the headline coachella / have an art show at the Guggenheim?
Do you still enjoy conceptual music, or is chillwave the only sample based music that you choose to enjoy?
Is chillwave the perfect sample based music, and everything else is sorta 'too artsy' and not accessible enough?
Will The Books be overrated in a Broken Social Scene kinda way, making it more difficult to genuinely appreciate their music in an authentic way?
Do the Books have an 'uphill' battle ahead of them by re-entering the indie buzzosphere after a long hiatus?

Does n e 1 know if GORILLAZ are alt/authentic? Do u like 'doodle' bands?


I keep checking indie music blogs, and they are blogging/blurbing about the Gorillaz. I feel confused about them. I can't really tell if they are a new buzzband, from the 2000s, or from the 1990s.  I think they were probably marketed as 'anti-rock stars' because the true bros behind the band decided to stay anonymous. Really confused about how I am supposed to interpret them. Wonder if they are part of the 'doodle band' genre, which consists of bands that were doodled on to paper, then marketed 2 people who like cartoons.

"Doodle" is a popular term used to describe fun drawing.

Part of me wonders if Gorillaz were a seeded viral marketing gimmick for the popular video game Rock Band / Guitar Hero. From what I understand, part of the appeal of that game is the intense rock star avatars.

Maybe people just want to visualize a band that reminds them of playing a video game where you pretend you are a real musician.

I remember there was some song called 'Clint Eastwood' that was buzzworthy b4 the internet existed and MTV needed 'alternative' content.

</embed>

Really can't tell when this is from. Maybe Gorillaz is authentically 'timeless' music.

They seem to be some sort of conceptual cartoon of bros playing some sort of weird electro music. I don't know if it is 'pop', bloghouse, or maybe even dubstep. I am confused by Gorillaz. It seems like they must have fans, but I don't really feel like I know any1 who is 'popping a Gorillaz' CD into their car stereo.

I remember there was some other song named 'Feel Good Inc' that was buzzworthy, but I really can't remember when it happened.

</embed>

Not sure what kind of people 'actually listen' to this stuff. I feel like it is people who listen to the same 5-10 mp3s over and over again. Like teens who 'just started to smoke weed.' Like people who 'seriously listen' to Gnarlz Barkley.

Here's who I would guess listens 2 Gorillaz

  • weird kids from the UK
  • normal people from the UK / Europe
  • Lost American tweens
  • People who like anime
  • 30-70% of people who like Radiohead because they don't really have an opinion

They seem like a chill band who chills out together 'on the road.'

I wonder if it is gonna be the next alt thing to be a cartoon band. Maybe it's a European thing.
I heard there is a cartoon dubstep producer called The Burial.

Also heard of Josie and the Pussy Cats.

Even Scooby Doo played in a cartoon chill wave / no-fuzz / lo-fi band.

Does n e 1 know what the deal with Gorillaz is?
Has n e 1 heard their new song that they allegedly 'stole' from some other bro?
How should I process them?
Do they make good music, or just like music that was strategically created to be commercially licensed?
Does Gorillaz have any real?
Are they irrelevant UK pop, or do they make authentically good music that transcends genres?
Should I start a cartoon band?
Should I start 2 use my imagination and doodle more?
Should I ask for a 'doodle pad' for my birthday so I can start a band?
Is doodling real art?

///doodle bands

The Great Lo-Fi Hope.



[MP3]
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Round And Round

[More information]
http://gorillavsbear.blogspot.com/2010/03/mp3-new-ariel-pinks-haunted-graffiti.html

Is This #1 the Song of 2k10?
Is This The Relevant MP3 We Have Been Waiting 4?

2k10 has led us on a 'wild goose chase' for relevant mp3s. We aren't even looking for life-changing mp3s any more, like in the pre-Garden State/pre-Postal Service era. We are searching for MP3s that make us feel like we are at the pinnacle of human and artistic development. Searching 4 something more in the mainstream indie internet world.

Watching our favourite bands from 2k5-2k8 end up at the top of the charts. There is no longer an inverse relationship between a 'critical acclaim' and 'commercial success.' Vampire Weekend, MGMT, LCD Soundsystem, M.I.A., Arcade Fire. 2k10 is all about 'harvesting our megacrop' and ensuring that these artists get paid. In 2k10, these mainstream indie bands will 'set sail' and move into new markets, and we must rally around new bands and artists that can garner massive critical acclaim.

Ariel Pink represents the mp3 criticism sphere's chance to get back to their roots of 'loving' something that is in the 99th percentile of cultural authenticity, as opposed to functioning as tastemakers for the late majority of alternative music consumers.

Ariel Pink was once signed to Animal Collective's initial collective, their label Paw Tracks. He handed them a demo after one of their shows, and they could instantly hear his 'pop genius.' Realistically, Ariel Pink is the only other modern musician who has the conceptual skills / unintentionally authentic brand to 'compete' with Animal Collective.  Guess we'll find out if his upcoming album 'has it' or if it is an mediocre effort that inspires resentment + a bitter taste in ur mouth after having high hopes.

Photo: Ariel Pink's weird single cover art


Ariel Pink was once branded as a permafried lo-fi genius who incidentally made 'brilliant' lofi music in his Los Angeles apartment. But now he has been harvested by the record label 4AD [website] who has been in charge of converting mainstream indie bands like The National, Atlas Sound, St. Vincent, TV on the Radio & Gang Gang Dance into marketable/coverable/bands that sell records.  It seems like they 'trust' Ariel Pink can get mad coverage, sell some records, and build a strong brand.

While it is easy to write a blurb saying that a sound or an mp3 is 'nostalgic' or reference a decade that is 'sounds like', it is most important to note that the majority of relevant music today is about enabling us to reminisce about the past. No longer do we have something to look forward to. The temporary escape of a pop song from the 60s-90s is all we need to remember the days when we had hope that 'things were going to get better.'

In the past, many authentic indie music critics have gone on record as feeling 'lukewarm' about Ariel Pink albums, possibly saying that they weren't complete, or that they were just too weird, probably.

And that's the trouble with The Doldrums, and the reasoning behind this conflicted rating. The album is not so much Ariel Pink's creation as it is Ariel Pink himself, a real-time observation of his brain synapses at work. His nerves are either firing at Einstein levels or misfiring like harlequin babies, and in fairness, I'm hardly the staff brain surgeon.

In the post-chill wave / ternative era, we are in a position to finally 'embrace' Ariel Pink. Maybe we have grown up, and learned more about what we want 'good music' to be.  It also helps that Ariel Pink is now 'part of the machine' with a record label that will send crazy email blasts to hypemachine mp3 bloggers/find a way to get his face on some magazine covers. He is playing 'by the rules' so that makes it safer to rally behind him.

Based on my assumed knowledge of his personality type, I am not sure if Arel Pink can 'play the game' like the sort of relevant indie musician who knows how to schmooze at relevant music festivals, but I think this will be a refreshing quality in the modern indiesphere. The artist with minimal personal and cultural connections can focus on his art, and not have to excessively check the internet and worry about the impact of their work based on an undefined/evolving context.

Ariel Pink. This is his time to shine. His time to transform into the artist every1 thought he deserved to be. It might be a rare second chance in an internet indiesphere where you usually only get 1 shot. His chance to be more than just another pointlessly acclaimed (yet forgotten) lo-fi artist.

He has gone on record about 'trying to shed the lo-fi tag', but it seems like maybe he should focus on that discussion as he builds up towards his album release:

Previously known mostly for his work as a lo-fi artist, Pink is trying hard to break away from that stigma. "Our records are lo-fi because there's not a lot of money behind them," he explained. "Lo-fi actually isn't an artistic decision for me. Every recording we've made uses a lot of attention to detail, and I do the best I can with what I have. I'm better now at producing," Pink continued. "But I'm trying to get the lo-fi tag off of me. I think the reason I've never been offered a major record deal is because [A&R reps] can't hear the songs; they don't take it seriously." And though he's growing squirmish in his independent label status, Pink still recognizes - and appreciates - the many benefits of working at that level. "The records come out exactly as I make them, as I assemble them, without any changes. [They're] just the way I imagined them, and that is really special. But the lo-fi presentation makes it something difficult for the money people to invest in," he concluded.

One thing we learned from the chill wave era is that you need a lot of people asking you what genre you fit into in order to be successful. In depth 'journalists' will ask you if your genre even exists, then 'connect' with you by laughing about how silly 'genres' are.  A band's  product is just as important as how compelling they are to cover. When you are bloggable/buzzable/tweetable, the money people will come to your house with a truck full of money.

When Ariel Pink comes to my city to play at a relevant venue, I will stand at the front of the show, already familiarized with his extensive discography, ready to smile with a shit eating grin that says, "Yes, I get it." (Side Theory: One of the underestimated factors that made Animal Collective so critically successful in what seemed like such a short time was their extensive catalog of music that allowed people to 'go back and listen' to their albums in the bulk, then pretend they had been into them for 2 years longer than they actually had been.)

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Rallying around Ariel Pink might be our last chance to turn our backs on the mainstreamication of indie.
The Great Lo-Fi Hope will save us from what we have become.

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Do u trust this man?

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Read more>>>>

Evolving beyond 'indie music': The Era of Ternative Music.

In search of an authentic aesthetic/genre/content-stream/sample pool of art

Indie is/was/has been/will never be dead.


I feel like 'everything that needs to be said about indie music has been said', and now modern music journalists are 'on cruise control', writing puff pieces and 'insightful' blurbs that make obvious conclusions about the 'meaningless genre of indie music.' Sort of like when 'hipster' articles were 'big' between 2k6-2k11. Music journalists and blog blurbers are important tastemakers, introducing users/consumers to new content/bands/artists. It seems like we/'the altosphere' has hit a point where the most influential tastemakers must 'dumb down' their writing/content/presentation for the mainstream masses.

I feel like 'indie music' is probably better than it has ever been, because it has transformed into a corporate arms race. Much like we enjoy watching Super Bowl ads featuring Coca Cola, Pepsi, Toyoto, and Apple, we enjoy watching 'indie' bands like Radiohead, Phoenix, MGMT, and Arcade Fires battle for headlines and a larger/deeper 'reach' into a mass market of consumers. It seems 'fun and engaging' to view the 'indie' musicsphere with the same goggles that we view 'pop culture gossip.' It is amusing and entertaining. We understand that it is 'trivial' and functions as a mode of 'escapism/warped idealism.' We enjoy watching artists/humans rise, fall, live, and die. Along the way, we like to 'laugh out loud' at them/with them, depending on their public displays of self-awareness.  The most successful indie bands have a talented group of well-connected creative individuals managing + designing their corporate identity.

'Indie' is what it is, and we must be strong enough to say that 'there is nothing wrong with indie' to break free from the shackles of indie slavery.

Here are some general conclusions/points about 'the state of indie' that humans/writers continue to make:

  • We understand that 'indie' is corporate.
  • We understand that 'indie' doesn't directly correlate to 'being associated with an independent label.'
  • The definitive 'indie' acts have been harvested by 'major' labels and converted into brands which can generate digital sales to tween + cool dad demographics.
  • We understand that 'indie' music has become 'less independent' over time.
  • The 'indie' aesthetic has built a 'meaningful' brand that is now difficult to take seriously.
  • 'Indie' bands are achieving 'mainstream success' because they are 'a part of the machine.'
  • 'Maybe hipsters are a lil bit more corporate than they thought they were...'
  • The 'hype cycle' is 'such bull shit'
  • 'Ppl dont even LISTEN 2 music n e more...'
  • The album is dead

As a progressive mp3 writer, I feel 'bottlenecked' by the overwhelming 'obviousness' of these facts. Like 'so much chatter' is going on around me as writers/bloggers/twitterers continue to try to express these points in creative + hit-generating ways. I feel like 'music writing' as a whole needs to move beyond 'the elephant in the room' of 'indie being mnstrm.' Since the 'music review' has become obsolete with high speed internet services enabling easy streaming/sampling of mp3s, every 'review'/blurb must display some sort of 'tongue in cheek' type of awareness of 'the global indie climate.' We only 'trust'/read the writers who 'make this clear to us' in the most direct way possible. Some people just 'find solace' in music writers who write about how the song 'makes their emotions feel.'

It seems like there needs to be a 'new spirit'/zeitgeist of alternative websites/journalism/blogging in order to move beyond the 'indie era' and find/explore exciting new music. There is a serious crisis brewing. Alternative websites will either lose their reach to mainstream gossip blogs that add 'indie' coverage of maltstream bands (indie.tmz.com or indie.perezhilton.com), or formerly-alt websites will become 'mainstream' sites that function as a deep namedropping database. Some people could make the argument that 'as long as all of the best music is the most popular, we should be happy.' This argument is not valid, since we have evolved into early adopter listeners who enjoy an mp3 70% more when we are among the first several thousand people to hear it.

Some sites can cross over into the mainstream as they continue to grow with mindie bands. Other sites must 'go in a whole new direction' and actively try to find 'the new aesthetic.'   MP3 blogs that are already irrelevant hypemachine longtail blogs are generally already a 'completely lost cause.'

What is the future of indie music websites?

'Indie' has become a googlable search term that bands/blogs/websites/humans must associate with their personal profile or webpage if they are trying to build a brand that appeals to people who still honor the term 'indie' in a face-valuey kind of way.

It seems like we are at a point where you can either have an 'indie' blog/site that is made to get mainstream hits for the next decade, or you have a brand that is 'searching 4 something more.' I wasn't alive in the early/mid-2000s, back when 'indie' was first exploding, but I imagine it was a special time where mp3s were still valued in the post-CD era, and 'live shows' were more difficult to find out about and therefore less populated with entrylevz. Websites who covered the initial indie wave got to come along for the ride, eventually evolving into better business models than a traditional 4-person band (websites can produce content easier than bands). Alt websites had the opportunity to 'cover something special': the evolution and growth of new artists who had a new aesthetic/set of ideals to promote. There was probably some sort of 'genuine' spirit of excitement back then, which was the foundation of the modern voice of the music writer/blurber/listener (who is now kinda snarky and disenfranchised).

I really don't see the problem with the 'indie music' evolving into a monetizable model, but indie websites have 'a completely different content/identity/authenticity crisis' ahead of them.

I honestly believe that it is time for authentic blogs and webzines to either move away from 'indie' coverage OR make the bold decision to begin to cover 'all pop culture elements' using their voice that they believe readers 'love'. It seems to make sense that an 'indie music fan' might want a 'pop culture' dose' blurbed about in the familiar voice of the standard 'bro who is pumped about a new release', a very common voice deployed by many popular indie music websites. I would like to hear that same 'pumped bro' voice get jacked up about a new Paris Hilton upskirt shot or maybe have a bro's perspective on the Heidi Montag surgery.

If the large 'indie' music sites don't generalize their blog/content into 'culture hubs' [via pop culture coverage], they run the risk of moving into direct competition with music recommendation websites + communities. The 'technological ones' such as Pandora, lala, iTunes, last.fm, and whatever other site that a larger web company recently acquired. Wonder if 'algorithmic recommendation' will eventually 'kill' music websites, and there will be the same sympathy for music reviews sites that people feel for record stores. Like one day, when our kids tell us that they just 'listen to their auto-generated recommendations to find new music', we will tell them that 'back in the day, we used to go to websites that manually updated who they thought we should listen 2.'  Not sure how long the 'indie coverage' niche will last.

The unification of 'pop culture consumption' and 'indie consumption' under the same umbrella will make it easier to move forward in the authentic pursuit of 'the best new music on the planet.'

Taking the best elements of indie, and moving forward with them into the new era.

It seems like 'self-respecting' fans who are in the pursuit of authentic music no longer want to say that they listen to 'indie music' because of the complexity of that genre label by moderately aware people. Listing 'indie' in your Favorite Music section on facebook could make you the laughing stock of your social network. Listing varied 'indie' subgenres can make you seem pretentious. No1 can win because no1 can list what they truly like.

I think most humans want 2 feel excited about music, but feel like there are issues that make the presentation/discussion/sharing of music 'more complex' than ever before.

It seems fair to assume that we are looking for music that is 1) 'good', 2) new AND 3) created by relatively unknown band/human who has an approachable backstory that makes us believe we can 'make it' if we dream. It seems 'impossible' to expect a widely read alternative website to write/post/blog about a band that could meet all three of these criteria. It seems like by harvesting buzz bands, large maltstream sites are only looking to perpetuate the 'indie aesthetic' because they are plugged into a 'the machine.' Consumers can no longer trust these new bands as recommended by large sites because of the context/scale by which they are presented.

It is clear that we are in the thick of an era of perpetuation. I think that there are established models of success and monetization that 'bands that are trying to be indie' attempt to replicate. It seems like 'looking like ur in an indie band' is sort of a updated version of 'looking like ur in a rock star.' The concept of 'looking like you are in an indie band' means that you no longer seek widespread fame and fortune, but instead would settle for acceptance by a moderate sized group of people who are aware of cutting edge culture.  Honestly feel like we're at the point where 'indie bands' are manufactured in the same way that Lou Pearlman manufactured NSYNC/BSB/O-Town during the boy band era.

It is up to the consumer to let go of our previous expectations of bands. The mass market will lag behind, but the micromarket is what drives the 'authentic creative types.' They know that if there is a receptive market, they will 'go 2 work.'

We no longer want carbon copies of 'indie bands'.
We are searching for something ternative.

/////////
The Final Solution
////////
Welcome to the Ternative Era.
//////////

Those who are in search of 'good, new, authentic' music will move forward into the Ternative Era.

We will listen to ternative music. Ternative is the only way we can 'embrace indie for what it is' and differentiate music/aesthetics in the immediate future. All we really needed was a 'new term' by which we could differentiate music

Will you take my hand, and transform into a ternative bro with me? (Ternative is already inside of u).

WTF is ternative?

As we enter the post-Vampy Weekend #1 album in the World era, we must mentally prepare ourselves' for this 'charting' phenomenon 3-5 more times in the next year. It seems like when a band 'charts' in the top 10 upon their album release, we should call them "MINDIE" bands, short for Mainstream INDIE. I feel like the term 'indie' could be relegated to shitty bands who perpetuate the 'trying 2 be earnest' indie aesthetic from the mid-2k0s. Sort of like bros who make a decent product, but don't really 'get' why their music will never reach more than several thousand fans.

Some ternative music already exists, but the ternative era will really be prevalent between 2k10.5-2k11.75.  It might be a microtrend 'frowned down upon' by music purists, sort of like blog house.  It will be an enjoyable era where music will be fun/chill, and the expectations of turning a band into a mindie sensation will be removed.  Ternative bands will exist, and they will be largely untainted by huge marketing campaigns and gimmicky music videos meant to inspire coverage/social network sharing.

TERNATIVE VS. INDIE EXAMPLES

Part of me wonders if the popular post-indie band Animal Collective were the forefathers of the ternative era. It seems like bloggers would be 'divided' about whether they are 'indie.' They seem 'very plugged into the indie machine', but most bloggers would probably just write a piece about them called 'The New Indie.' Feel like that will probably happen in their next album cycle.

I feel like 'ternative' music will probably be pretty sample based. Traditional instruments are discouraged. (Indie will always be tied to 'indie ROCK', which requires guitars, thereby being more accessible to mainstreamers). The live experience is not required. Unique content besides mp3s would be 'welcomed' as long as it wasn't gimmicky.

Here are some progressive thoughts/statements by which we can begin to think about the ternative era.

  • Animal Collective was the first ternative band, shattering the mold of successful indie bands
  • Ternative music will never appeal to tweens because __________.
  • Chill wave artists have the opportunity to either 'plugin to the indie machine' or move forward into the ternative era.
  • My favorite ternative website is ______________.
  • Gorilla Vs. Bear is generally the breeding ground for ternative artists, but some of the recommendations are too reverby/not poppy enough for me. These selections are possibly too post-ternative for me, the mainstream ternative listener.
  • I am tired of maltstream music sites trying to turn ternative artists into indie artists. They are setting them up to fail.
  • Ternative bands have a shelf life of 1.5 mp3s, but that is okay for me, because they are not overtly 'trying 2 be indie.'
  • Female bands continued to be indie until 2k12, when the first all-female ternative band was formed. They were weird lesbians.
  • Never will I ever pay for a ternative mp3. I might impulse buy a limited release vinyl.
  • I still listen to indie music, but only on the radio. I also put indie music on mix CDs to impress girls, but eventually introduce them to ternative music if they really 'get' me.
  • Deerhunter/Atlas sound is an indie band trying to be ternative sometimes.
  • Vampire Weekend's next album will be predominantly indie, with a few allusions to the current ternative movement.
  • Arcade Fire has written the mindie album of the century.
  • Many music fans were 'let down' by the Beach House album because they didn't know if it was trying to be indie or trying to be ternative.
  • Washed Out's career was redefined when he decided to focus on being an indie/ternative artist.

I feel like 'ternative' has been alive for a while, but we haven't really had a way to properly ingest it, since we expect everything that is moderately good to evolve into a Mindie band.

Ternative is a term/genre name that I have reserved as a descriptive term for music that I consider to be authentic.

We keep on waiting
Waiting on a ternative band 2 come

What will happen 2 indie?

I'm sure every one had a 'very shitty' local music scene in their hometown during high school. Sort of like your friend's shitty band who you had to see play once every month. I think 'indie' is probably the term that this high school generation will associate with those shitty acts.

Indie will live on. It is a cute lil term that was made for mainstream success. We can let it be mainstream, and continue to consume it in the same way that we consume the mainstreamest aspects of life.

Still feel like I am 'waiting' on a new band to emerge in 2k10, but I feel like the next band to get excited about won't be 'just another indie band.' They will be a Ternative band, ready to help carve our expectations and desires from a band in the post-indie world.

Feels good to move past indie. Like my ears are unplugged, unearbudded, & open. Ready 2 listen 2 music again.

During the indie era, ppl 'listened with their hearts' until the heart became 2 cliched, kinda like this pic.

In the ternative era, listeners will approach music with an informed mind.

R u ready 4 Ternative Music?

How do u feel about the proposed ternative era?
Is 'ternative' a 'dumb'/'silly' enough genre name to 'catch on' [via the shoegaze theory]?
What qualities of 'ternative' will prevent it from going mainstream?
Do ternative websites have a 'ceiling'?
Who will be the biggest mindie band of the next decade?
Is mindie the new bro rock?
What's ur least fave kind of music journalism?
What is the future of the mega-indie blog/website?
What is a good business+content focus strategy for a formerly indie blog in the 2k10 decade?
Is the ultimate goal of every website just to get 'mad hits at any cost'? Does this goal work against the music discovery process?
What's ur fave band?
What kind of music do u listen 2?
What's ur fave music website?
Will twiter die/overtake the internet?
Does ur brain/heart feel free now that u have moved beyond the indie era?
Has any1 figured out what 'alternative rock' means yet?

The Beach House Theory of 2k10.

[MP3]
Beach House Norway

Analysis of the Cultural and Critical Impact of this Song:

This mp3 is the 'beginning/launching point/kickoff' of the 2k10 music season. The first step on an annual cycle to attempt to understand 'who is the best/most culturally relevant/buzzworthy/meme-able' band of the year. It is this cycle which gives the blogosphere purpose, giving us a reason to live/evaluate/judge even though 'time' is irrelevant on the internet.

Beach House's PR/marketing team should be commended for setting the tone for 2k10. In the post-chillwave era, we will be looking for meaningful music that has substance--lyrically, emotionally, musically. No more 'going to the beach and chilling' music by bands who we will never hear from again. 2k10 will be all about people 'overcompensating' and 'wanting a full album experience' after spending the last 2-4 years scavenging for mp3s in the hypemachine world. Wonder if the XX will be cited as the end of chillwave since their album was so meaningful/vulns.

2k10 will feature releases by the established tier 1 bands such as Arcade Fire, Panda Bear, MGMT, Of Montreal, and Vampire Weekend. It seems like Beach House is on tier 2 of the indie band power chart, with a 'beloved' 1st and second album. I think the Beach House Theory of 2k10 would predict that Beach House is 'the front runner' for 2k10's album of the year because of the criticism-sphere's desire to 'anoint' a band that they 'created.' It seems 'too predictable/boring' for most web outlets to continue to gush over the same bands over and over, unless they are AnCo/PandyBear. We love to 'watch a band grow' into 'artists who can put together a complete album.' We will reward them for their efforts, and their willingness to share with us. If they are good to us during their buzzband phase and don't do anything too inauthentic/gimmicky, then 'deliver' on a second album that demonstrates progress, we will ensure that by their third album, we will grant them Alternative Tenure--our gift to them which includes 'guaranteed coverage' of releases/tour dates/miscellaneous tidbits, minimal negative/attacking coverage of your brand, and the promise to band that our website will link to the website that is selling their album for years to come.

Wondering if a major label/marketing team will see the appeal of Beach House, and attempt to turn her/them into Feist 2.0 + bro who plays guitar and has an interesting drum machine in a suitcase. Wonder if this post-TingTings era will 'embrace' them. Seems like they wouldn't have a poppy/ghey girly song on this album, so their chances of 'crossoverability' are diminished. Dark tones/vulnerability will keep their appeal strong within the indiebrocriticismsphere during 2k10.

If u had 2 bet ur entire bank account, who would yall 'bet on' as album of the year creator in 2k10? Do u buy the theory that critics need 2 'pick something new 2 seem fresh', or will they just have predictable favourites that demonstrate their unwillingness to move forward into our modern era. Is Ratatat the 'wild card' in the 2k10 album of the year race?


/////////

missing u.

Srsly tho... do yall feel like Ed Droste's twitter suicide is the indie equivalent of Heath Ledger's murder/suicide, Michael Jackson's death, or Miley Cyrus' internet suicide?

Beach House

Buzzband

Beach House is a relevant buzzband who has 'tons of indie cred.' Lead singer Victoria LeGrand is known as 1 of the sexiest women in indie.

Read more>>>>

Victoria LeGrand

Alternative Celebrity

Victoria LeGrand, known as "Vicki" is one of the hottest indie songstresses in indie music in the hit band the Beach House.

Read more>>>>

What are the perks of being in a relevant buzzband? What are the pitfalls of being in a relevant buzzband?

I just watched this new video made by the Washed Out Bro (aka Ernest Greene). In the video, he showcases HD video footage of his honeymoon, featuring his newly acquired wife, on their vacation to some exotic location. You can see the beautiful images while listening to a promotional chillwave track. Juxtaposing the smooth sounds of chillwaves are a series of telephone messages from people who are looking for Ernest.

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It's kinda weird how once you become a relevant, marketable product, covered by all of the most relevant eCommerce recommendation sites (altblogs), so many people want stuff from u. Whether it is a record label (Modular), a brand that puts on alternative concerts (the KIA soul tour), a 'relevant booking agency' (Billions), a pseudo-buzzband (Josh from the Small Black), miscellanous bros who 'want something from u', or even just friends, it seems like every1 wants a piece of Ernest Greene.

However, WashedOutBro is 'chilling' on his honeymoon with his wife. He is only accessible to the woman that he loves.

I wonder if 'having a wife/serious GF' makes you a better artist. Like you can focus on your craft, instead of seeking out rewards [via tugjobs] from entry-level alt fan girls at every stop on your North American tour. I feel like we could call this theory the AnCo Relationship Theory. All three members of Animal Collective are in 'serious relationships/marriages' (some with kids). It seems like they have only become 'mad relevant/successful' since they have found people who probably give them the space and support system that they need to be 'artists.'

It's kinda weird how Washed Out 'gave up on alt celeb perks' before his touring/entire career had even taken off. Do u think he will begin 2 regret 'what could have been', or will he be happy with his decision since it will allow him to 'truly chill' for the rest of his life?

Maybe the chillwave genre is more about 'moving forward with family values' as opposed to 'escapism' [via chilling]. Maybe chillwave is more about 'chilling with a wife' as opposed to 'chilling with a group of bros.' Maybe chillwave will help the former altbros of electro begin to transition into adult life.

What would do if u were in a budding hype-band? Would u 'use it to get alternative sex'? Would u try to marry some1 who 'knew u before u were an alt celeb'? Would u try to marry some1 who 'only loved u because of ur status as an alt celeb'? Were Ben Gibbard + Zooey Deschanel married for 'public relations/marketing' purposes?

When u become a buzzband, so many ppl who u don't know 'want something from u.' Maybe u just need some1 who wants/likes/loves u for u, even if you weren't a buzzworthy, monetizable artist.

See unwatermarked photo here.


(wonder how much pitchfork paid for these exclusive wedding photos. wonder when an alternative website will pay for baby photos. Can't believe the alt blogosphere has entered the paying for wedding/baby photo meme era.)

Wondering if Panda Bear 'invented' chillwave back before we even knew it...

[MP3]
Panda Bear Untitled (eventually AnCo's Guy's Eyes)

I really want to do just what my body wants to
I really want to do just what my body needs to
I really want to show to my girl that I want her (and I do)
I really want to show to my girl that I need her (and I do)
If I could just hold all the thoughts in my head and just keep them for you
If I could just purge all the urges that I have and keep them for you
I really want to show to my girl that I need her
I keep it locked right now

Need her
-Panda Bear/Animal Collective

//////feeling it all around
////maybe being alt famous/artistically relevant is not a gateway to a meaningful/sex-filled life...
////maybe u need to 'shack up' with some1 before u r 'successful.'
////LoVe iS a HiGhWaY

Which indie artists will be selected as 'The Best _____ of the Year'?


As yall know from the popular website calendar.blogspot.com, the year 2k9 only has 2 months left. The annual music cycle is 'officially over' and will be dormant until the first major indie album release in 2k10. This means 'we' as an altosphere need 2 do our best to reflect on the year that we just lived, and try 2 analyze which album/artist/mp3 we want to be the embodiment of 2k9. Each alt website has a responsibility to select a 'best' artist, which may not actually 'be the best', but instead will represent 'how they think 2k9 should be remembered', and convince u 2 'stay on board with us, cuz our perception of the indiesphere is really genuine and down2earth in a hi-level kinda way.'

I will make a list of potential 'Best' Artists/song writers/album makers/meme generators of 2k9, and evaluate the evaluation process of each product.

/////WHAT WILL BE THE BEST ALBUM/MP3/SONG OF 2K9?

Animal Collective - I feel like websites that select AnCo as their #1 album will end up doing the usual AnCo 'Journalism', which addresses 'the hype bubble' on the internet, but then switches to a 'serious tone' that refocuses on the 'brilliance/textures/genius' of the album. It seems like this is a 'safe pick' which will keep your readers happy, and feeling relevant. Possibly 'too boring' of a selection for some readers, but also possibly 'the correct decision.'

Grizzly Bear - It seems like their album Veckytemmy was 'very well received', but people only really learned 2 evaluate them in comparison to AnCo.  Maybe this is more indicative of the flaws in the US Educational System, not really teaching kids how to evaluate and analyze products for 'what they are.' Instead, we can only 'compare' stuff/events/people/places/nouns/ideas to 'what already exists.' It might be a 'somewhat controversial' selection to put them at #1, but also possibly 'bold', like u could really 'get ur music journalism on' in an impassioned blog/blurb. The product seems transcendental of eras, so it might be the sort of album that does better on a 'best of decade' list, as opposed to a 'best of year' list (This does/does not make sense).

Atlas Sound - I feel like I 'enjoyed' this band/album, but wonder if it was 'overrated.'  Feels like it followed the model of having 2.5 'obviously good songs', then sorta just existing in positive chillspace for the rest of time, with a few 'kewl sounding parts.'  Possibly music that appeals to college students who need some ambient shit 2 study 2, then they have a 'positive memory' of the album, since it helped them get a B+, even though they 'only studied the night before.' It still seems 'very good', but feel like we are possibly entering an era where most semi-conceptual artists can poop out this kind of album every 6 months.  Feel relieved that Panda Bear 'takes his time' on his personal albums.  Really preserves his brand. I feel like another positive blurbing tool when blogging about Atlas Sound, is that u can say something like 'Georgia-based frontman Bradford Cox is also the mastermind behind indie rock band Deerhunter', or a similar sentence.

Neon Indian - It's kinda weird how u can have a 'good band'/'good song'/'good album', but not every product is worth paying attention to, or convincing people that it is 'worth their time' to say that they are a 'fan.'  Now that Neon Indian has reached the point where 'every1' likes them and 'knows about them', they could enter a backlash phase where their original fans [via blogCulture] are reluctant to 'commit to them' as a band that they will cover for the next 5-20 years.  It's always scary to commit urself to a band that was once only 'buzzworthy', and say 'I am looking forward to looking forward to this band in the future' and 'I will consider overhyping their next album.' I don't think Neon Indian really 'resonates' enough with music criticism aged bros, but will do well in emerging consumer demographics (so u can't really leave them out of ur top 10).

VEGA - I wonder if electro bros would select Vega as 'electro's last hope', or if critics would rather just 'focus on Neon Indian' since that aesthetic is 'way cooler/coverable' now. Seems like it would be 'kewl' to say 'Yeah, I liked Vega before Neon Indian' in 2-4 years when Neon Indian has to go into conceptual hibernation.

Passion Pit - I wonder if we 'expect greatness' from this band, of if they are they have an existence where they aren't really 'expected to be great', but we 'know what we get from them.' Seems like they might be the new type of festival band that can sort of just chill indefinitely as long as their music stays positive/poppy and they don't get too 'dark.' Feels like they are a band who 'u got 2 see for free' and then u 'became a big fan of theirs.'

The Very Best - Don't really want to cover/think about the type of people who 'love' this band/album/mp3.

Here We Go Magic - I feel like these bros were probably 'the best' of the conceptual-core flareup of mid-2k9, and people might select them as a 'hey... remember this was kinda good' way (not as #1).

Washed Out - possibly 'too chill' to feel like a 'historical selection' to listmaking music bros, but could be 'very definitive' based on your perception of what happened this year.

Girls - If I owned a major publication in San Fransisco, I would require my Indie Journalism writers to make Girls the #1 artist of the year, in order to make it seem like San Fransisco's scene was hella important. I feel like Girls are sorta like 'chill out music' for those Gen X alts who like garage rock. It seems like it might be 'cool' to know about them, but I don't know if your readers will value your list if you pick them #1, unless they are over-40 and looking for something 'cool, but not isolating.' I think they 'look like a band' to it might be sweet to have a picture of them on your blogpost/article.

The XX - Selecting the XX as the #1 ______ of the year would be very bold. The band hovers on the 'fringes' of 'indie greatness', but it is probably a more logical decision to 'hype them', encourage people to consider them a 'band 2 watch', then 'gush' over their future releases, whether or not they are as good as/better than their debut. They physically 'look like' a relevant band, and their music is also easy to explain/'gush' about in a generic indieblurb way so those are huge pluses for your blog/magazine layout. Wonder if any indie debut could ever be considered 'album of the year', or if indie websites have an established hierarchy/progression of buzz that no band will be able to shatter.  How long does it take for a band to 'change the aesthetic of relevancy'?  (How long has AnCo been a band?)

Yacht - Seems like this album really went 'in one ear and out the other.' Probably 'sounded kewl' or something, but seems 'shameful' to select as a seminal album of 2k9.

Dirty Projectors - I feel like the people who select the Dirt Projjies as #1 probably 'believe in their decision' the most. They think that there is a 'right answer' to "Who is the Best _____ of 2k9?" and they are the only bros to truly understand the criteria and have the critical thinking skills to come to this decision. But it seems like it is 'easier to enjoy' AnCo than it is to enjoy the Dirt Projjies, so you don't want people 2 h8 ur alt website/magazine if they buy the album, and it is just these people 'wailing' over complex guitar stuff. It still seems plausible to describe/pan the DirProjjies as 'a Jack Johnson-sounding bro with broads wailing in the background.'

Phoenix - 'I really want to remember 2k9 as being a peppy, poppy time.' I feel like this is a 'feel good' album to put into your top 10, like you want people to say 'oh ya... that was a lil fun... totes love phx... great pop music.' Probably something that female blogger would put at #1, but most male music journalism bros 'need to seem like they are yearning 4 more' than what Phoenix gives them.

St Vincent - I am not sure if her latest album was really 'that identifiable' to men or women. It seems like if it was, she would have ended up with a Feist-like existence, since she is potentially younger and more attractive than Feist. I am proud of Feist for becoming the 'gold standard' for indie female artists.

Fever Ray - I feel like this product is 'too dark' to ever be an 'album of the year.' No1 wants to select a gothy product as being 'definitive' of an entire year/era. It seems like society approves of 'escapist' art, but doesn't want stuff that sounds 'too dark.'

Bat for Lashes - Never really listened, but seems like it would be 'acceptable' to be the lone female in your year-end list. If you have a top 10, it seems healthy to have no more than 2 female singers/artists, since the majority of your readers are men.

Wavves - The Wavves Bro might have been the 'human meme' of the year in terms of the zany headlines that he generated 4 the altosphere. Hope he 'keeps it up' in 2k10. His music is also 'theoretically memorable', but I think his genre is not really era-defining. It sorta just will 'exist forever.'

The "Dark Was the Night" compilation - Think that this was a 'big deal' and 'for a good cause' or something. I feel like it might be worth mentioning again if you feel like 'seeming like a good person' based on the brand of your website/magazine. This probably appeals to people over the age of 28. 'Know ur audience' -music journalism editors when coming up with their lists

The Big Pink/Florence and the Machine - I am not really sure who these bands are, but it seems like something a UK publication would select. Seems like those bros always 'try to take credit' for top American artists, but also 'hype up their own shitty bands/comedians'etc. Wish we could set up some sort of artistic trading guidelines with them. Wonder if the Spice Girls/The Office were 'good imports.' Worried about Amy Winehouses, etc.

Julian Casablancas - Wonder if bros who pick this solo-debut to 'define 2k9' are the kind of bros who 'are too impatient' to wait to excessively value the next Strokes album.

Kings of Leon - Can't believe they are 's0 mainstream' now. Wonder if it would be 'cutting-edge' to write some indie journalism about 'why we should still appreciate them', or if u should just pretend they don't exist n e more [via Nickelback].

Lady Gaga - It seems like it might be trendy/cutting edge to select her as an 'artist of the year' if you had an altWEbsite, then talk about her art/concept/ability to create pop Art, or something.

///////////
/////////Did I miss n e 1?
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Can't believe 2k9 is done. U were a good year, 2k9. U did ur best.

What/who do u think should be remembered as 'the Most 2k9' album/song/mp3 of 2k9?
R u gonna miss 2k9? Will 2k10 be any better or any worse?
What is the 'most likely' artist to be pitchforked to the #1 spot?
What is the 'boldest' album of the Year selection?
What is the 'fucking obvious' album of the Year selection?
Are 'lists' the future of music journalism since they get 'so many eye balls'/it is easier for normal readers to 'catch up' with new music on an annual basis?

The Evolution of the Chillwave Genre: What's Next 4 'chill wave' artists.


As yall know, in the 2k9 post-AnCoGrizzPhoenixBear world, the indiesphere generated a new genre of music to love/follow/listen 2 called 'chillwave.' Most authentic alts were there to watch the chillwave genre 'get off the ground', getting 'tons of mad blog hype buzz' from relevant mp3 blog tastemakers. Now that chillwave has grown up a lil bit, chillwave artists are required to 'tour', and take their band/brand to the next level.

A key element of the chillwave era was that the members of your band/project were required to be unknown/from an obscure place. Sorta weird how these bands consisting of 'Jim Nobody from Nowhereville USA' are now becoming 'must-see' acts on 'the festival circuit', etc. Sorta feel pressured to see them before 'too many people know about them.' I honestly feel like the first time I see a blogbuzz band live will be the last time I see them. I guess the Arcade Fire was right when they said, "Funeral."

These are the three 'largest' chillwave artists, and an analysis of their live performances.

Live Performance: Washed Out (A much 'hyped' CMJ debut in NYC).

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As you can see, WASHED OUT bro went with a '1 man band behind a Macbook' setup, utilizing some 'sweet visuals', and also doing some live singing. It seems to be a good representation of the music, but how can Washed Out convert his show into a 'touring machine.' Maybe he could 'only play concerts in water parks [via wave pools] or something. I am not sure if WashedOutBro will have enough money to purchase a 'daft punk pyramid.' Maybe he could rent it while Daft Punk is not touring.

I sorta wish all bands had some sort of megastructure, similar to the Daft Punk Pyramid. It seems like concerts might be more exciting that way.

Photo via rez avissar


I have heard live reviews calling Ernest Greene 'very attractive.' It seems like he has the opportunity to brand himself as 'one of the most handsome men in indie music', sort of attracting tons of females to his shows, and building up alternative resentment [via untalented/angsty altbros]. Ultimately, this model was 'very successful' for Panda Bear's live show. I think Washed out should 'build solid visuals', and then protect his brand by 'only playing relevant shows where he can make mad bank.'  Possibly try to crowd out the 'generic DJs' and steal their potential earnings.


Live Performance: Neon Indian

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Neon Indian was apparently '1 bro making an album in his bedroom', but his live performance consists of 3 additional band members. It seems like the '4 person band' model is 'very cross-over-able.'  This is important to capture the attention of mainstream bros, etc.  Most mainstreamers can really only consume live music if there is 'a band of 3+ members' or if there is a rap crew milling around on stage.

I am not sure what my expectations of Neon Indian are. Did I want them to 'be a band', 'be 1 bro on stage', or maybe just 'be the next AnCo.' It seems like it might be 'economically feasible' to lay off one of the band members and work towards a mainstream+conceptual textural live show.  It seems like they really 'look like a band.'  I feel like the Neon Indian bro might be implementing a boy-band-esque formula, where the members of the band are disposable & constantly feel pressure to add value/'look like a member of an alt band'/understand their role in the overall project.

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Seems like Neon Indian might become one of those 'bands that plays at every festival'/comes to my local alt scene 2x per year.  Has the genre of 'sorority girls who go to music festivals' already caught on to Neon Indian?


Live Performance: Memory Tapes/Memory Cassette


Apparently, this 'chillwave' band does not perform live. I feel like this band was actually 'pre-chillwave' but sort of got 'lumped in afterwards' just cuz they had a few chillwave characteristics, but didn't really make pure chillwave music. I will probs download free MP3s by this band 4evr, but won't buy their vinyls until I am a rich bro in a meaningful loft with a shelf of vinyls.

******
Which chillwave band has the best/worst live model?
Which chillwave band will 'make it'/'go mainstream'/be 'the most authentic'?
Which chillwave band will u see first?
Which chillwave band will lead to the implosion of the chillwave genre?
Which chillwave artist will escape/out-live the chillwave era?
What's ur #1 musical memory of 2k9?

Previous Chillwave coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/07/is-washed-out-the-next-neon-indianmemory-cassette.html

Will 2k10 be the 'shittiest year' in the history of music/indie music?


I feel worried about 2k10. It seems like 2k9 is a year that we should feel 'ashamed of', and 2k10 is a year that we will sort of just emotionally 'pull back' our interest in tastemaking. I feel like 2k9 has had some 'good products', but maybe it was just a year where we are learning 'how 2 use the internet' when it comes to consuming music. It's like we went to xtremes when it came to 'experiencing' and 'analyzing' music, and now we are just trying to work our way out of that era.
Seems like I am ready to 'close the door' on 2k9, and 'fast forward' beyond music in 2k10. I think in 2k10, we will sort of just stick with familiar bands, and not very many 'new bands' will emerge.  We will stick with what is 'comfortable'/'known products', and just give a band like the Arcade Fire the top album of 2k10, just so we feel like 'order' is 're-established' instead of giving 2 much 'power' to fresh bands.

Feel like reflecting on 2k9, even though there is still half a year left.
How will u remember 2k9?

  • Animal Collective taught us how to 'excessively anticipate' an album.
  • Grizzly Bear taught us how to 'ascend' into a 'respected maltstream band' even though ppl just want to 'evaluate u' against the other 'top band' of the year.
  • Neon Indian/VEGA taught us how 2 'manipulate the internet' until u have some how 'invaded' major blogs+webzines to seem just as 'real' as pre-existing 'relevant' bands.
  • Major Lazer taught us how to create an 'interesting'/'ethnic' product with a strong marketing team
  • Dirty Projectors taught us how to be an nyc hi-end buzzband that people feel pressured to 'enjoy/appreciate' or else they will seem 'uncultured'
  • Here We Go Magic taught us how 2 be a pretty 'simple' conceptual band but still achieve a 'relevant level of success' that will be sustainable for 'a long time'
  • Passion Pit taught us how to make music that falls between 'conceptual' and 'electro' genres, appealing to the mass market of 'indie simpletons' [very lucrative]
  • Phoenix taught us how to become 'more widely accepted' even though their product has been the same for the past 10 years, instead of just 'fading away' and becoming insignificant.
  • St. Vincent taught us how to be a girl, look keut, sound complex, and appeal to the middle aged critic bros
  • Atlas Sound will teach us how to 'collab with other relevant artists' so ur band is 180% more blggbl
  • Classixx taught us how to 'rise' to be the most 'relevant' remixer of the year
  • Crystal Castles will continue teaching us how 2 utilize 'negative press' to stay 'in the headlines'
  • WAVVES taught us how 2 'not give a shit' abt anything, even ur alternative career.
  • 'Conceptualcore' music taught us that ppl are just looking for shit that sounds 'new/different', and will go 2 great xtremes 2 justify what is 'good/relevant.'
  • The now defunct chillwave era taught us how alternative websites need a 'bloggable topic/scene' to emerge as a coverable topic that unifies a 2-4 month span that can represent 'progression' of the indie scene/musicians/the power of 'the internet' 2 help promote 'good music.

Seems like we should be 'most ashamed' of how internet users/indie music fans handled the Animal Collective release. I think it will take a year to sort of 'forget' how 'we' handled that 1. Just really 'overthought' the entire year. Seems like we were looking for something that sounded like AnCo, but also something that didn't sound like AnCo. Feel like we are confused. Not sure what I like. Can't even remember what pure electro sounds like [via 2k7].

2k10 will probably be 'boring.' We will not trust buzzbands and we will not trust 'internet blog p4k buzz', sort of resenting new bands. We will not consider new anonymous chill-electro-lofi projects to be 'worthy' of our attention, because they will probably be 'just another meme'/producer with 1.5 'good songs' that u can throw into a falsified 'genre/movement.' Seems like in 2k10, we will have learned to have a 'backlash' against an entire era, instead of just an individual band.

Seems like 2k9 might be over.
Goodnite 2k9.

What will u remember about the 'now defunct' year 2k9?
Will 2k10 be the worst year in the history of indie music?

Some ‘respected’ U.K. magazine makes list of ’50 artists who are going 2 alter the future of music


Sometimes I read blogs that post 'relevant stories' that were generated by magazines. I am not sure if music magazines will still be alive in _ years, but I think that their last opportunities to 'get people to visit their websites' means making 'huge lists' where they list a bunch of blogworthy/noteworthy people, then get 'the entire internet' to react to it, as if their 'editorial staff' is a group of people who are 'way more qualified' than a 'bro who started a blogspot.'

I think that 'NME Magazine' is something that exists in the United Kingdom. From what I understand, lots of artists try to 'get buzz' in the UK or something, then they try to 'make it cool in the USA.' Kinda like the Spice Girls. Sometimes it catches on, but sometimes it doesn't [via David Beckham/The Office]. I think that life is different in the United Kingdom, and they are into different aesthetics, so I feel 'pissed' when Americans want to 'seem more european' so they'll pretend 2 like British stuff. Feel like it is kewler to 'like' French + scandinavian stuff [via IKEA]. Possibly Japan.

America is #1, and I feel like the USA is the kewlest country in the world. h8 the british buzz gimmick.

N e ways... NME made this list of 'artists who are going 2 change music/art/everything' in the future. Here is the 'deep blurbe' that NME 'wrote' abt the list:

In times of economic uncertainty everyone always yawns on about people hankering for familiarity and hiding in nostalgia. But that just doesn’t seem to make much sense. Surely it’s more reassuring to know that things are progressing and developing rather than lying stagnant?

After watching the 2009 Future 50 take shape, it is now our firmly-held belief that no matter what happens to us – come further financial meltdown, come raining sulphur or plagues of locusts, come the new Twang album, even – everything will fall into place. One day it will all make sense.

Here is NME's 'future 50' list, with HRO's 'criticism'/'analysis:

50. Gaggle - not sure who/what this is. Remember 1 time I 'invented' tuggles of AZNs.
49. Xenomania -seems like a 'Peter Jackson' movie
48. Invasion - Not sure what this is.
47. Yo Gabba Gabba! - just a gimmick 4 kids + parents to buy 'kewl street clothes with zany creatures' + 'collab with relevant artists
46. Diesel:U:Music Radio - think that the Diesel brand probs 'paid' for this somehow [via advertising].  Seems like a 'widget' or something.
45. Cooly G - seems like a 'mashup' of Coolio and Warren G
44. Star And Shadow Cinema - Might be a movie theatre with 'stadium seating.'
43. Sonar Festival - are all music festivals 'the same'
42. Blackout Crew - Seems like a group of frat bros who 'date rape' bitches and came up with a sweet facebook group
41. 3OH!3 - music 4 kidz who r trapped in suburbia / fggts
40. Stephen McGregor - Must be Ewan MacGregor's son 'gravy training' off his dad's fame.

39. Opera - I think this is some sort of 'internet browser'
38. Aldene Johnson and Hannah Marshall - Sounds like 2 girls who look keut and make mediocre music
37. Project Natal - Probably something about 'abortion'
36. Lady GaGa - hope she 'has a meltdown' somehow.
35. Rostam Batmanglij - Think this is the Vampy Weekend keyboardist bro.
34. Hyperdub - sounds like a 'ghey ass' genre of music
33. Seb Chew - sounds like an azn genre of music, like 'eating noodles with a lot of bass'
32. Sweden - not sure if this is 'the country' or a pop star
31. Greg Kurstin - wish it was Greg Kinnear [via Lil Miss Sunshine].  Sad that Joel McHale will never be the actor that Greg Kinnear is [via Talk The Soup]
30. Beck - via the year 19k90

29. Sonic Boom - This was a 'move' by Guile, a character in streetfighter. Was a 'sweet move' but I think 'Hadouken' is already a band name.
28. Take That's stage show - I remember 'Take That' sang this sweet song about wanting u back 4 good.

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27. Bandstocks.com/Patrick Wolf - seems like some sort of product placement.  Not sure if Patty Wolf is 'still a band' or just some brand that is co-marketed with magazines+websites.
26. Micachu - I think this is a jewish rapper who ppl think is 'kewl'. might be band, or possibly a guitar bro.
25. Salem - I think that they are 'buzzworthy' and will probably accidentally see them within the next 2 years.
24. Gigbaby - Seems like an octomom meme (R.I.P.)
23. The Dream - I think this is a 'producer turned artist' black guy.  Seems like they had to put 'a black person' on this list.
22. Ray Tintori - sounds like 'Ray Liotta'
21. Platform - sound like 'pavement'

20. The Big Pink - I have heard that they are 'overhyped by the UK media'.  Seems like I won't listen to them for a year or two, then when I hear them, they will make me feel the same way that the dirtieprojjies do
19. Twitter - Seems 'relevant.'  Heard that u can use it to tell people where ur chilling and meetup to share pictures or something.
18. Popjustice - Think this is Justice's sideproject
17. Mike Sniper - I think this is the bro who 'shot up people' from the top of the tower at the University of Texas in Austin
16. Nick Zinner - seems like a guy whose name showed up on your caller ID when caller ID was first invented
15. Norwich - Think this is a 'city'
14. Bradford Cox - It is important 4 magazines to 'hype up' artists that are 'obviously going to be successful' just so that they can feel like 'they did it.'
13. Mattias Arrelid - confused
12. Dan The Automator - sounds like a 'fat person's nickname'
11. Blocks Recording Club - Confused

10. La Roux - I am still trying to understand if this is a band/girl/bro or something. Seems to have an overwhelming marketing reach.
9. Little Boots - Not sure if she is still 'relevant.' Think she just had an album that was 'huge' in the UK.
8. VBS.TV - Have never watched it. Think they make stuff that is 'too serious'. Just want to 'look at those fucking hipsters.' I think they make 'mad ad revenue' though or something.
7. Jack White - Feel like I am waiting for this bro to do something 'legitimately crazy.' Like 'taking a poop' on Conan O'brien's desk, or 'beating some1 until they almost die and settling out of court', or something.
6. The XX - They will be 'solid' and 'heavily relied upon' for putting meaningful songs on a mix CD 4 a girl.
5. Omar Souleyman - seems like a 'souley' bro
4. Dizzee Rascal - I think he was 'indie' in 2k4 [via 'hipster hop']
3. Trent Reznor - Still don't 'get' the obsession with legacy artists who say 'obvious things' but are 'glorified' for being 'fucking geniuses about the modern music industry.'  Seems like he is 'respectable' but don't understand why 'indie outlets' need 2 'cover him.'
2. The Knife - Remember when they were 'relevant' in 2k_. Maybe they have a new album coming out. Seems weird that they 'totally sat out' the bloghouse era. I think that they will make some sort of 'really good album' that I will resent.  Wonder if they will make new 'cock nose' masks.

1. Animal Collective - 's00000 0bvious.' Christ. The should at least do something stupid, like write out the 'real name' of a band member. Like write out 'Noah Lennox is #1.' or possibly 'Noah Lennox's twitter feed is #1.'

Feel pretty ______ about this 'list.' Feel happy/sad that magazines are dying. Seriously feel 'sad' for a bro who doesn't read the internet, and only reads NME magazine, and thinks this list is 'cutting edge.' Worried that if I go blind, I won't be able to consume the internet, and I would just have to listen to radio.

What do yall think of NME's list?
Is it 'relevant'?
Will all of these people/bands/websites 'change the world/art/music' or something?
Do British people 'know what the fuck they are talking about'?
If u were a magazine, what would u do to 'utilize ur brand' to 'get blog + twitter chatter' going?
Is Animal Collective reall going 2 'change the world'?
Is Twitter really more important than Lady Gaga?
Who would be on ur list for 'bros who are gonna shatter society's norms'?

Remember the time that NME 'made a list' of the Top 25 indie American bands?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/1-list-of-25-bands-that-kind-of-hurts-americas-image.html

Not sure if I 'get' the Dirty Projectors


I heard of this new band that has possibly been around for a while. They are called The Dirty Projectors, and I think that they are from the greater-New York area. They have a new album called Bitte Orca--not sure what that name 'even means.' Might be Latin / French / German / Mexican.

I think that they might be one of those bands that people think 'are really good' but are hard to 'identify with' for a normal bro. I have listened to their songs a few times to 'try 2 understand them' but I still feel like they are 'close to impossible to identify with.'

They have a song called 'Stillness is the Move.' The song has some guitar playing, and some girls singing, as if it is some sort of conceptual indie karaoke song.

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From what I understand, people are saying that this is 'better than' Animal Collective and Grizzly Bear [via the Indie Contest 4 'da best album of 2k9.' Not sure if I 'understand why' any one would think that, even though I haven't listened to the album.

From what I understand, there are two bros in the band, and 2 broads in the band.

Feel like I have to go back to HRO's ancient MIXED GENDER BANDS theory, where HRO says that bands appeal to a wider audience when they have boys+girls in them. Also, indie music critics enjoy 'liking bands with girls' since it makes them seem less chauvinistic/like they are an equal opportunity provider. I think it is good to have 'haute indie girls' in ur band, because bros will come to ur show and say 'damn...want my gf 2 look like her' and girls to think 'wish I could be as authentic as that girl on stage...feel like i'm trying 2 hard and don't have any indie talent besides dressing like a lil cunt.'

Here is a clip of them from 2008 that I randomly found on the utube. Think that they showcase that the girls are 'actually talented' altbaguettes.

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Not sure if it 'sounds good' to me, but I think that might be because it is in complex time signatures and has more key changes that I am used to in bloghouse/electro. Might be uncultured. Feels weird when something is 'deemed relevant' even though u don't have a past history with it/it is 1 of those bands who u always ignored because their name sounded douchey/boring.


Start to feel anxious when there is this band that is 'highly critically acclaimed' but I can't seem to appreciate them. Like there's something wrong with me--but I feel like I make good consumer decisions. Maybe it is just like an arthaus film from the Frog Nu Wave era--I feel pressure to 'appreciate it' but I would rather 'take out my junk and tug off 2 pornography.'

Do yall like the Dirty Projectors, or does n e 1 have a 'healthy way' to approach their music that would make me seem 'more open'?
Do yall think that the girls in the DPs are 'hot' or 'just indie keut' or altbaguette??

Previous bands that I don't 'get'
No Age / Santogoldy / TV on the Radio / Most bands from 2k8

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