Christian Bale | Hipster Runoff

Christian Bale

Did yall watch the Grammys?

Yall.. I didn't watch the Grammys cuz I'd rather just read reactions to it on the internet, then pretend that I watched it/was there/I am connected to the modern world. Seemed like a real celebration of things that are kinda mainstream but letting more alt artists in2 the show. Some of my favourite bands like MIA, Radiohead, and the Jonas Bros were on display. Maybe next year I'll be invited?

Question 1) When an alt artist wins a grammy, I feel

a) validated
b) like I accomplished something
c) a lil bit sad that I am losing a part of me
d) pissed off about my fave band selling out
e) just wanna 'get buzzed' and dance to bloghaus + ironic pop

Question 2) M.I.A. is

a) just a meme
b) pregant
c) should have stayed home
d) trying too hard 2 reach out 2 mainstream audiences
e) just taking care of herself/her career

Question 3: Deadmau5 will be remembered as

a) a zany masked DJ
b) just some weirdo at the Grammys
c) "what is that bro doing at our show?" -Taylor Swift
d) being responsible for bringing 'masked djs' to the mainstream
e) just a meme on the day after award shows

Question 4: This is a picture of

a) the coldplays
b) a band that steals songs
c) the writers of the rock album + song of the year
d) bros who need to retire their gimmick
e) Cool dads searching for meaning

Question 5: These bros are chilling at

a) the Grammys
b) A Cool Dad convention
c) A Kidz Health convention
d) A McDonalds playgrond
e) A liberal arts professor conference

Question 6: When I see this single, I think it is

a) Just another bloghouse mp3
b) just another crappy mp3 posted by a lame entrylevel blog on the hypemachine looking to get hits
c) worth a Grammy
d) the best Remix of all time
e) other

Question 7: Kanye West won a grammy for

a) Best frollet
b) Best blogger of the year
c) Worst black person of the year in America
d) JackOfAllTrades/Renaissance Man of the year
e) Best guy who sounds like a robot on his albums

Question 8: Who wore it better?

a) the broad on the left
b) the broad on the right
(this is a test 2 see if ur a racist)

Question 9: The Lonely Island Bros are

a) going to win a Grammy in 2k10
b) a gimmick for bros
c) comedy for bros
d) glorified bro Weird Al bullshit
e) really funnie
f) really progressive
g) going to make the Flight of the Conchords obsolete for bros
h) something for people who smoke weed and watch dvds/ funnie youtube vids

Question 10: This bro won a Grammy for

a) best assault of a broad
b) best knuckle sandwich 2 a broad's face
c) Best job of 'putting a woman in her place'
d) Most likely 2 be the next OJ Simpson
e) Future Ike TurnerBro
f) Strongest Pimp Hand
g) Artist of the Millennium who Hits Women
h) Bro Who is above the law
i) bro who is above society's norms

Question 11: Daft Punk won some Grammy because

a) they deserve it for this live album thingy
b) there are too many Awards categories
c) people only heard of them after Kanye West cobranded with them for that meaningful duet about becoming stronger on the inside

Question 12: Christian Bale won a grammy for

a) being Heath Ledger's BFF
b) being in Batman
c) becoming a viral meme on audio
d) pretending 'to get angry' as a marketing gimmick for the new Terminator film so that Entertainment Magazines will profile him as being 'complex' and 'deep' and 'really into his craft'
e) he sang a lot in Newsies

Question 13: The name of this band is

a) 3 Tweens and a Blind Black Man
b) Blind, Black, and Musical: The Band
c) Searching for Our Sexuality thru the blindness
d) Bro Circle Jerk in a room with a blindman
e) Guy Who Should be able to see + need Talent Managers who protect their brands a lil bit better
f) The Grammys: Where Legends go to Make Bad Decisions
g) Steve WonderBro
h) Tweens Who Might be GheyBros

Question 14: This band in this picture is

a) the Spice Girls
b) Paramore
c) Blink 182
d) Girls Aloud
e) The Pussy Cat Dolls
f) Aqua
g) Jen Aniston and the Skanky McSkankBroads
h) Chris Brown's "Pimp Hand"

Can't believe I missed the Grammys. Feel really 'out of the loop.' Just want to connect 2 'pop culture' since it is kind of the fabric of society that relates us all.

Kinda feel like this picture represents the state of modern music.
In this picture is everything that we want.
We want bloggable content with stars who attract viewers by saying zany things and being progressive enough to blurb about.

Did yall hear M.I.A. is pregnant?
Are yall excited about how twitter gives u such direct and instant access 2 ur fave celebs while they are at a meaningful event like the Grammys?

[via diplo's drunken memes during the Grammys blogspottwitter]

The Dark Mainstreamer (Knight)


This weekend, I sacrified a lot of my time to go and see 'The Dark Knight.' It took me a while to decide whether or not I was going to see it because I couldn't tell if it was mainstream or alt, but deep down, I wanted to fit in. If it is going to be the biggest movie ever, I thought it would be a good idea for me to 'connect with the human race as a whole.' I thought it would be a rewarding experience to 'connect' with my fellow audience members as we watched a wonderful piece of art that achieved mainstream success.

I felt a lot of pressure to go. According to what I've read in blogs and newspapers, 'The Darky' is a big deal. I wanted to be able to appreciate what has been described as the most authentic-mainstream movie experience EVER.

However, after going through the process of 'going to the movies to see The Dark Knight', I have realized that I will never be able to appreciate what mainstreamers think they are supposed to appreciate.

1. Going to the Movies

DARK KNIGHT = way 2 long. Kind of like one of those bad HRO posts where Carles just 'keeps tlkng & tlkng abt stuff he doesn't know abt.' If you're going to see THE DARKIE, expect to lose 5 hours of your day. If u see it in the IMAX, a teen usher with acne will tell u to put your iPhone away when you are trying to liveblog abt how the movie is 'kinda long.' SRSLY tho... kinda wish some1 would embed the movie in youtube, or maybe I could watch it on HULU. The best solution would be for some1 to open a theatre chain where you had to pay like $40 per ticket, except u didn't have to watch previews/commercials. You can have the option of having these ads emailed to you. N e ways... I just think stuff like 'going to the movies' and 'watching baseball' are for people in their prime from the year 1989.

'OMG...I DEFAULTED ON MY MORTGAGE BC I HAD TO BUY AN ICEE AND WHOPPERS WHILE I SAW THE DARKIE' - rlly old people taking their grandkids to the movies

I thought the whole movie was going to be Heath + CBale chillin in this room.

2. Heath Ledger

Heath may or may not be dead, but his (fake) death was great for BOX OFFICE $$$$$$$. I wish some1 had told me that he was only in the movie for like 15 minutes. I went into the theatre thinking that the movie was going to be about him. I felt kinda lied to when I had to sit through a bunch of 'stuff blowing up' for so long. If I wanted to see stuff blow up, I would have gone to a Justice concert.

Remember people who thought they were 'visionaries' because they were into anarchy/punk music?

3. The movie had a bunch of ghey themes

Another thing that really bothers me was that 'The Dark Knight' had themes that were made to appeal to people who didn't-go-to-college-but-like-feeling-smart. Basically, the movie exposes the audience to themes that are so complex that smart people don't bother trying to apply the themes to our modern society but they can convey an abridged version for mainstream dummies to feel like 'they are actually thinking about important issues/philosophy.' This makes them feel deep. They went into the theatre solely looking to be entertained, but since they were also exposed to ideas that a freshman in college would have been exposed to in his Political Science 101 course, they feel like they come out of the theatre a better person. I feel like movies like 'The Matrix' or 'V for Vendetta' are some of the most popular films in this genre. They usually deal with concepts like 'why is our society so zany/capitalistic/controlled by 1 person?' or even 'what makes us human, yall?' It would have been nice if Heath Ledger just read some Foucault to me for 3 hours. I mean srsly..what's the deal with society/prisons/social systems/'the world'/'how history has altered the way things are(that's kinda unfair--especially 4 minorities)'.

4. Heath Ledger as the Voice of these 'Deep, Complex Themes'
This weekend, I was walking down the street and I saw a little Mexican kid dressed as the Joker. He had facepaint, a big red smiley, green coloring sprayed over his dark mexi-hair, and was dressed just like Heath in the movie (aka he was wearing the church clothes he used to wear before he rebelled against his ever-loving Catholic mother's dead ideologies). I'm sure last week the same kid was into identifying with Linkin Park lyrics that commented on how 'people r full of shit, there's no such thing as love, and I hate my dad, too.' Ultimately, exposing impressionable tweens to concepts that they don't really need to be aware of is bad for humanity. I understood when goth-ish people dressed like they were in 'the matrix' to seem interesting until high school administrators determined that they 'looked like they were going to shoot up the school' in the post-Trench Coat Mafia era, but I just think 'dressing up like the Joker' to let people know that you 'see the same world that he sees' is a little bit much. I wish the Joker just wore business casual so I wouldn't notice audacious little JokerMexis any more. It's sort of like the 'deep version of a little girl dressing up like Hannah Montana.'

A lot of people say that Heath Ledger killed himself because he 'couldn't pull himself out of this dark, dark role.' If that is true, then we can assume that Heath Ledger has the same mental-makeup as a 13 year old angsty kid who dresses up like the joker.

5. Christian Bale
I feel like every one is just waiting for him to turn into Patrick Bateman in American Psycho again. He did a lil Batemen with his Bruce Wayne impression, but he sounds kinda sillie when he talks with his Batman voice. Is Batman even a difficult role to play? People who have played Batman: Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney. N e ways...I hope Patrick Bateman does a good job in the new Terminator movie. I miss Edward Furlong, though. He was pretty alt when I was a kid, so I think John Connor wedge haircuts might be big in 2k9.

Remember Arnold b4 he was mainstream/conservative?

6. Morgan Freeman

Remember when he played a Black President in 'Deep Impact'? Remember that time he played 'God' in that other movie?

7. The Most Troublesome Part of going to the movies was being exposed to this commercial:
JC Penny is trying to appeal to ___________?
a) people over the age of 30
b) Emilio Estevez fans
c) lil alts
d) people who listen to ska/punk cover songs of 80s anthems
e) tweens who are still searching for their sexuality but identify with bands like Good Charlotte, Fall Out Boy, and Panic!@the disco.


SRSLY tho... I'd rather slit my wrists with broken Criterion Collection DVDs than go 2 the movies again. It took a lot out of me. So many people, so m
any lives', so many differences, so many similarities. I mean, r we all just 'trying to make money to thrive in our society?' That would be s0 random if we were...

Theoretically we all want to fit in (be mainstream), but sometimes u just have 2 realize that ur gonna be an alt 4evr. You should surround yourself with a network of alts who understand their positions within the alt-mainstream social graph and how their social interactions from grades K thru 16 impacted their social self-perception.

Maybe I should just loosen up and 'enjoy goin out to the movies + grabbin bite 2 eat at TGIFridays.' <3333

Christian Bale vibes out 2 buzzbands at ACL

Every music festival has a series of memes that are like 'OMG, DID U HEAR THAT [SOME1 FAMOUS] WAS WATCHING BUZZBANDS AT A [MUSIC FESTIVAL]?!?' It's usually Lindsay Lohan skanking out 2 a buzzband... This year's most famous Austin City Limits buzz was Christian Bale. You might know him from the mainstream movie "The Dark Knight" or maybe "Ammy Psychy" or "Newsies" or something. Anyways, he was spotted at ACL, and he was apparently filming a new DEEP Terrence Malick film. As yall know, Terrence Malick made this year's hit art film marketed to high-end mainstreamers called "Tree of Life."

Can u hear the meaningful Cut Copy playing in the background? "I WONDER IF PATRICK BATEMAN WOULD LISTEN 2 THEM?" -entrylevel mp3 blogger doing a 'culture' piece

Via some film blogspot:

The impromptu (or not) shooting session makes sense, as Malick lives in Austin and is known to be highly secretive. The only thing we know for sure about the duo’s collaboration is that Bale is the star, and he’ll be joined by newcomer Haley Bennett. The Playlist is quick to point out that Malick had previously been working on a Jerry Lee Lewis-related project, so this film could be a new iteration of that. From the looks of things, it appears that Untitled Terrence Malick Project #2 may turn out to be a music-centric pic, though what the finished product will look like is anyone’s guess.

Side note: to satisfy your curiosity, Malick and Bale were backstage filming during the sets of Bright Eyes, Pretty Lights, and Coldplay. Make of that what you will.

Sorta wish I coulda vibed with him at the festival. Told him who was relevant, who was entry-level. Guided him towards authenticity instead of festival bro lamestreamness.

"Do u know where the Google+ stage is?"

Check out this video of some lamestream festival bros being like "IS THAT BATMAN? I LOVE UR WORK BROSKI!"


'OMG I JUST MET CHRISTIAN FUCKING BALE. ACL IS AMAZING.' -ppl who are still 'impressed' by famous ppl

Here he is 'sidestage' at Bright Eyes. Cheer up, Christian BB!


Did u see Christian Bale at ACL?
What buzzbands would u have taken him 2 see?
Is Terrence Malick 'so real' or mad overrated [via incoherent]?
Is 'Tree of Life' the most authentic movie ever made, or a massive pile of pretentious poo?
Do u think that there will be dinosaurs in this music festival movie?
'Why are we alive? Why do we feel feelings?' -Terrence Malick
Does Christian Bale seem alt, or is he a secret mnstrmr?
What would u have yelled 2 him?

Watch the beautiful buzzband. This is buzzlife.

All Modern Authors are ripping off Bret Easton Ellis / American Psycho?

This article states that all modern authors are greatly influenced by the work of Bret Easton Ellis. Any emerging Gen Y author with a concise tone that describes sensational, detail oriented elements in an underwhelming/disaffected tone may or may not be ripping off the bro who wrote American Psycho.

It's no wonder, I think, that it's influencing a new generation of writers. The simplicity of the prose, the precision of his imagery, and the atmosphere of menace and cultural oblivion are invigorating even at this remove. The scene where Clay leaves a party at which they're showing a snuff movie is a masterful evocation of true horror; the erection visible in the pants of his friend as they walk to the car an image it is hard ever to shake.

I wonder if Gen Y authors are ripping him off bc they read him, or because they saw the sweet movie starring Christian Bale before he went mainstream.

Not sure if the movie Am Psych is more relevant/well-known than the book American Psycho, at least with Gen Y ppl.

Is Bret Easton Ellis the last great American author?
Are modern authors 'worthless'?
Is the movie American Psycho have a wider cultural reach than the book?
Should I just read the DaVinci Code?
What will Christian Bale's legacy be?
What's ur fave Bret Easton Ellis book?

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