canoodling | Hipster Runoff

canoodling

OMG! Taylor Swift is dating Harry Styles! #HAYLOR

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Taylor BB! I thought that u were NEVER EVER EVER getting back 2gether with N E 1!

However, at the same time, I am VERY happy for you and I'd love to go out for coffee with you and talk about your new life, your album, and where you see yourself in 5 years and you could also listen to me answer similar questions but I would give you more attention because you are much more famous and interesting than me.

I CANNOT believe that you are dating Harry Styles! He is the HOTTEST Hottie McHotHot from the 1Directions. Except for the ethnic one, but he reminds me of my exBF (same haircut). I sincerely hope that Taylor Swift is HAPPY now because she used to be in the bleachers instead of a cheerleader, just like me.

OMG yall look effing keut 2gether! I wanna shop where yall shop! Except they probly don't make close in my size. I honestly need to start thinking about my New Year's resolutions because I need to lose enough weight to get lap band surgery.

BieberSwoop who? #TeamHarryStyles
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber = #JELENA who? #TeamHAYLOR
Reba McEntires who? #TeamTaySwift

Katy Perry spotted canoodling with Skrillex. Are they the next big celeb couple?

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Photos by The Cobrasnake

Katy BB! I was SO sad when u and Russell broke up because I thought that he was REAL good for you because I like a man who can make me laugh. But who is that MYSTERY MAN?

Is that popular alternative EDM dubstep DJ? I am totally just now getting into dubstep because it makes me want to dance. Honestly, I'd never go to a rave because I am at least 35 years older than the people that actually go, but maybe I should check out that new phenomenon of electric music made with machines. #TeamSkrilly I ALWAYS love dancing to new music at the club because it is also a good way to burn calories but then I get embarressed and out of breath and sweaty because of how horribly out of shape I am. I need to apply for federal aid to get a scooter soon.

I honestly just hope Katy is happie, no matter who she ends up with but if any1 is mean 2 her or cheats on her, then I will be sad. I cried at the end of the Katy Perry 3D Movie.

PLEASE do not tell me ur canoodling with the uggo on the right of this picture. He looks scary!

I wanna hang with ur friends! Invite me 2 ur next party, Katy BB!

PLEASE do not invite the scary guy. Is he the one who sings #Daughters? He looks like he got really old and ugg. Honestly, sorta reminds me of how I looked at age 20, then by age 30 I looked old, disgusting and decrepit.

I just hope u and #Skrillem are #happy together. That's all I ever wanted, for my best celeb (friends) to be happie.

Keven Federline who? #TeamSkrillex

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

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A$AP Rocky spotted canoodling with Grimes. He be gettin dat white pussie?

Photos via http://weirdmagic.biz/2012/07/foto-dreams/

From what I understand, A$AP Rocky is obsessed with banging white women. It must be a boner inferiority complex, like dudes who get off to watching 'black on white' porn. He was recently spotted CANOODLING hard with Grimes. Who knows if it will last 4evr, if it was just one night of passionate interracial buzz loving, or if this is just a completely out of context picture where 2 platonic friends are greeting one another and having fun. In this picture, u can see him doing the 'bro move' where u pretend to talk to a girl in a loud place, except u secretly slide ur tongue into their ear. It helps that Grimes' ears have so much surface area that he is probably getting a premium taste of that Grimey goodness. His vibe in these pictures is all like, "Imma fuck a weird white chick 2nite." He probably left his 'hood', so he has a 'hall pass' to bang some1 who u don't 'tell the brothers about', sorta like when ur in HS and bang a weird/ugly chick from a school on the other side of town.

U gotta give him props for 'putting his time in' just to get a lil bit of that Grimey juice. He probably had to endure the dumbest convos, but she is probably moderately intimidated by black ppl, because she is ultimately a rebelling sheltered Canadian honky

MMMM. He be gettin a feel.

Grimes looks EXTRA SAUCY when wet!

Remember when Grimes was thought 2 be canoodling with Picture Plane? He really thought big things were effing popping, but I guess she is too free of a spirit 2 contain.

Does A$AP Rocky GET white women?
Is he still 'soft' 4 covering Pumped Up Kixx?
Does Grimes look happy with him?
Does Grimes look happy with every1?
Is Grimes manic?
Does this look like a relevant alt event, or just some place where alt posers would show up 2 convince themselves that they are 'relevant'?
Do u support interracial buzz relationships?
What.Would.ChikFilA.Do?

A$AP Rocky

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

A$AP Rocky is a buzz rapper who the indiesphere 'endorses' that got into a fight and 'won' #SXSW.

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Grimes

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Grimes is Claire Boucher, a Canadian bleep bloop singer music project.

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Grimes spotted canoodling with Pitchfork Founder & CEO Ryan Schreiber at P4kFest

Link: https://twitter.com/#!/ryanpitchfork

Pitchfork Music Festival takes place every year in Chicago, IL. To consumers, it appears to be a standard music festival, but it is in fact an important industry event where many of the buzz contracts are negotiated between websites, artists, managers, and publicists. It is no surprise that this picture of Ryan Schreiber, the creator of Pitchfork, was spotted in some sort of heavy conversation with Claire Boucher, better known as Grimes. On the surface, they might look as though they are 'canoodling' or even 'bronoodling', leading to rumors of a romance that would explain the rise of Grimes career in the past year.

The truth is, we'll never know what was shared in this conversation. If only more people were willing to ask hard hitting questions instead of being force fed buzz by the same members of the Corrupt Indie Machine that have led us into this buzz drought. We are upside down on our buzz mortgages. Our buzz college loans will never be paid back. So many Corrupt Indie Machine forces trying to cockblock Buzz_health_care that would ensure every buzz citizen has the right to treatment.

Sigh....

Is Pitchfork Festival a buzz pyramid scheme?
Did u go 2 #p4kfest?
What do u think they talked abt?
Why is Grimes wearing a headset?
Did she get deported to an Indian call center?
Is her next album about business campuses in India?
Should she invest in Bluetooth technology?

XX BONUS SCHREIBSY INSTAGRAMMING XX

Thank U
4 attending
#p4kfest
but I prefer 2 call it
#ME_fest
A celebration of me and my accomplishments
All of u ppl
are nothing without me
I invented this culture
Give thanks 2 ur Buzz God
I Am The Buzz God
Creator of the Ultimate Buzz Pyramid Scheme
Where I will always be on top

Ryan Schreiber

Alternative Entrepreneur, Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Ryan Schreiber is the creator of Pitchfork Media. He is one of TIME MAGAZINE's most important people in the world ever.

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Grimes

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Grimes is Claire Boucher, a Canadian bleep bloop singer music project.

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel spotted canoodling with Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers

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Zooey Deschanel divorced Ben Gibbard because she was done using him for buzz. Then she had a rumored quirky, honky new post-Benny bf named Jamie Linden. Now it seems as though she has been spotted canoodling with Green Bay Packers Quarterback Jock Hottie Hunk Aaron Rogers. They appeared to be on a date on the stage of the Oscars of sports. I don't watch sports, but I didn't realize that awards weren't actually decided on the field, but instead by a series of votes from viewers like you. Sports don't matter... What matters is that Zo Zo can be happy with.

Do u think they make a good couple? They are DEF d8ing, right? They have GREAT chemistry! Both so funnie. :-)

It seems as though she is trying to 'pull a Giselle' by dating an elite NFL quarterback. Vicki's Secret Model Giselle Bunchden is married to Tom Brady, who is considered a hottie hunk. Aaron seems like a chill alt bro who just has a zany moustache and loves to bend his ladies over to show them whoze Da Boss.

I'm sure ZoZo thinks his lil moustache is whimsical. Hell, I'd let his lil moustache into my endzone ANY day of the week.

I can't believe ZoZo is moving so quickly, from guy 2 guy, especially after she decided to be a tomato soup hermit 4 a while who only talked to her celly phone. Maybe this honky didn't cut it after all.

Do u hope ZoZo is happie?
Has she finally found something more than tomato soup?
Does he have time 2 make her tomato soup?
Do u think he can dance around 2 "Shake, Rattle & Roll"?
Do u think he 'scored' a 'touchdown' [via 'in bed']?
Is he the jock she always wanted Ben 2 be [via him running in marathons post-breakup]?
Is Aaron Rodgers 'hot'/would u let him mount u?
Is he the alt-est player in the NFL or is the NFL too mnstrm?
Do u hope they can be happie 2gthr 4evr?

PREVIOUSLY

Zooey Deschanel has new boyfriend, quirky honky named Jamie Linden. Will Ben kill himself?

NSFW: Alice Glass spotted canoodling with a dead rat.


Oh Alice, bb...
Who is he?
Who is that dead rat?
He truly has the world at his rat finger tips...

The soft feeling of ur panty hose leggings
against his rat fur
panties
ur hoodie still on...

This is Level 1 Canoodling...
Tier 1 Buzz relationship status
Who is that alt rat?
Is he dead?
Does he support ur career?
Is he front row at all of ur shows, like a stage BF?

What I wouldn't give
to be a dead rat...
I would live my life with nasty diseases
covered in filth, searching for scraps of food

Just as long as it meant
I got 7 minutes in heaven
2 canoodle with u...
Captured in a relevant photograph...

****
R u jealous of the rat?
Is the rat dead or alive?
Is it Alice Glass's soulmate?
Do u wish u were a dead rat?
Are dead rats the ultimate alt BFs?
Are all men 'filthy rat pigs'?
R u worried abt Alice? #pray4Alice

Lucas Vercetti crosses over to the mainstream because he is dating famous person Tallulah Willis


Demi Moore was married to Ashton Kutcher until Kutcher decided to bang 'actual young pussie' instead of a cosmetically preserved cougar. Before Demi was with Ashton, she was with Bruce Willis, best known from the film "Dying Hard with Vengeances" where they created a few spawn children who were destined to be famous for simply being the children of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Along with her sister Rumer Willis, Tallulah is getting MAD COVERAGE for her new boyfriend: Lucas Vercetti, the white guy in Odd Future.

This is a HUGE moment for Lucas AND for the Odd Future brand.

Lucas is embracing the attention from the papparazzi, being all like "I'M FAMOUS, BITCHES! GOLFWANG! SWAG!"

Here is a better picture of Tallulah Willis before she decided to get swept up by the Odd Future ceremonial token white member.

You might know Lucas Vercetti better as The White Guy in Odd Future.

Here is a MAINSTREAM GOSSIP ROUNDUP on Lucas Vercetti's new FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD RELATIONSHIP. U can rlly appreciate the lamestream, SEO driven 'journalism.'

Via Radar Online:

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's youngest daughter is in a relationship with a hipster who runs with rapper Tyler The Creator, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.

Tallulah Belle, 18, is dating Lucas Vercetti — known as "The White Kid in Odd Future," a hip-hop collective led by Tyler.

Lucas friended Tallulah on Facebook in February under her secret "Lu Willy" account and by March 14 his relationship status was changed to "in a relationship."

RadarOnline.com can confirm the pair has been photographed kissing each other and Tallulah's Facebook profile picture is a shot of the two of them together.

Lucas was dubbed the "white guy" in Odd Future after his face was features on their album cover and he's often the center of the group's hijinks — including a video of him being forced to suck on a man's toe after losing a bet.

No word yet if Bruce and Demi approve!

Check out my Odd Future hand symbol! We're like a gang!
LUCAS TALLULAH WILLIS

Here are some photos [via the Cobrasnake] of Lucas and Tallulah being ashamed of him.

Why r u hiding bb?
lucas vercetti tallulah willis white guy odd future

From the Daily Mail. No idea why they call him Lucia Vercetti:

You'd think that dating Bruce Willis's younger daughter might make a chap tread carefully around her, lest he offend the action hero.

But apparently not if you're Lucia Vercetti, the cult skater dude who is currently stepping out with 18-year-old Tallulah.

The skinny youngster, who has his hair dyed a shocking blonde, put on a precocious and cocky display for photographers in Beverly Hills yesterday.

Having been spotted with the Die Hard star and Demi Moore's daughter, he decided to draw as much attention to them as possible, as Tallulah tried to hide.

This fact alone would surely prompt Bruce to start knocking the mothballs off his John McClane wifebeater, but Lucas went further.

The youngster, who works at the LA store for merchandise connected to hip hop collective, Odd Future, even raised his hands in the hair in a valedictory manner.

It looked as though he was proudly taking credit for his new relationship, it's a physical brag that would irritate any concerned father.

Later, Lucia, crossed his arms in a hip hop pose, as Tallulah trailed behind... simultaneously cringing and laughing at his antics.

Lucia, wore pair of old-school Vans and a T-shirt while Tallulah rocked '90s jeans and flats with a grungey vest and sweater.

Lucia 4evr!

It seems clear that Lucas Vercetti is becoming the most famous member of Odd Future. While Tyler the Creator is often celebrated as the leader, Lucas has the most upside to crossover into a massive sensation. Right now, he's just the manager of the Odd Future outlet store, but before long, he'll probably have his own album, shoe line, swag line, and stable of pure bred white women.

Can Lucas become more famous?
Is he the #1 member of Odd Future?
Is he banging more premium pussie than Tyler the Creator?
Do u <3 Lucia?
Is Ashton Kutcher an 'effing a-hole'?
Is Tallulah Willis 'the hot one'?
Have u ever heard of this broad?
Do u prefer Tallulah or Cholula, the popular hot sauce?
Is Lucas ready 4 mnstrm fame?

PREVIOUSLY

What it's like 2 be Lucas Vercetti: The White Guy in Odd Future

Lucas Vercetti (the white guy in Odd Future) spotted canoodling with a BB at Coachella

lucas vercetti coachella
Whaddup guys! Lucas in the house!

Any by IN THE HOUSE, I mean that I'm KILLING IT at COACHELLA with the Odd Future crew. Check me out, with my girl, KILLING IT. Sidestage, checking out some SICK bands. I hope the guys get to collab with them soon. Hell, I hope I get to collab with any one other than the members of Odd Future. They are sorta turning into HUGE dicks, like reverse racism vibes.

Not gonna lie, the ride from Los Angeles to Indio, CA wasn't exactly a fun one. Last time, they made me suck on a toe. This time, I'm not even gonna say what they made me suck on. Sigh...

I wish I had a different job where they appreciated me more. I do a good job, mopping the floors, stocking the shelves of the Odd Future LA outlet store. But I feel like I deserve a promotion, or at least a raise. Sometimes it feels like they keep me around just to bully me. I am starting to get tired of it.

My GF always tells me I should get a different job, or maybe try out college. I'm a young guy, and I've got time to figure things out, but as for right now, I'm just at Coachella, canoodling with my girl. I'm in heaven.

One day, it's gonna be me on that stage, and not Tyler. Not Earl. Not Frank Ocean.

One day, it's gonna be me.

Vercetti OUT!

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

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Lana Del Rey is dating old dude Axl Rose. Read more about her old man fetish!


Lana Del Rey is famous for having a rich daddy who sells internet domains. But what if I told you that she has a new daddy...? Guns N Roses lead singer Axl Rose. There is a 25 year age difference between Lana Del Rey and the old rocker dude. U gotta give him props for stealing her away from not just Marilyn Manson, but also that random dude from Scotland. 'The Media' is eager to write any blog post about Lana Del Rey being spotted with a random man. I am sorta tired of this 'musician phase' era of her love life, and hope that she soon moves on to C-list actors like Wilmer Valderamma, and other bros who have banged half of young Hollywood.

It's great to have grown with Lana. We know that she is addicted to fame, soaking up any promotional opportunity that she can to make us believe that she is in a relationship with some one. U gotta hand it to Axl for making up for the 25 year age difference if he is really 'tappin dat.' Do u think Lana is going thru so many men bc she has daddie issues, or does she just like the attention + she is so 'new' to fame that she is like 'OMG I can't believe I'm dating some1 famesies!'

Apparently she has a pre-existing b-side demo song about wanting to bang/bone Axl Rose. Seems sorta dark, like she has a pre-existing fetish. But I guess he is part of her whole 'old Hollywood' fetish.

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From what I have researched on the internet, Axl Rose used to be a 'rocker twink' from the band Guns In Roses, but then he got 'hella chunky' because he hid from the world and only ate at Wendy's every day, or something..

Seems chill. vibin on some Chili Peps.

Miss u twinkie bangin bod!

R u happie for LDR and Axl?
Will they 'last'?
Does Lana Del Rey have an 'old man fetish'?
Has she upgraded on rocker boyfriends?
Can Guns N Roses 'make it' in2 the indiesphere?
Does Lana need 2 settle down with 1 man?
Should Lana Del Rey 'get a DUI' and 'go to rehab' just to stay on course for a predictable mainstream existence?

Deadmau5 spotted canoodling with Zooey Deschanel. Has she moved from indie 2 EDM?


Joel Zimmerman is deadmau5, known as one of the hottest hunks in the entire EDM game. Although he often wears a mouse mask, he usually takes off the mask and shows off his beautiful face. But we're not the only ones finding him beautiful these days. As you can see, he was spotted SITTING SIDE BY SIDE with Fox's New Girl, Zooey Deschanel. The EDM pioneer has got to be living in 500 days of Zooey if he played his cards right.

We recently say Zooey Deschanel in her new video for "Call Me Maybe" showing off her FEROCIOUS bangs that brings ALL the hipster milkshakes to the yard! [link]

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Oh ZoZo... Ur KILLING it and the NEW YOU is FREE to do AS U PLEASE.

Has Joel Zimmerman replaced Ben Gibbard?
Haz ZoZo gone from 'indie royalty' to EDM royalty?

Do u <3 deadmau5?
Do u think he 'raised his weapon' in the bedroom and got his 'Strobe' on with her?
R u happy that she's moved on post-Ben Gibbard?
Do they look like a good, happie couple?
Did they KILL IT at the Juno Awards?

PREVIOUSLY

Zooey Deschanel goes solo, shows off BANGIN BOD in new pop music video!

deadmau5

Buzzband, DJ

Deadmau5 is one of the top DJs in the world who is taking dubstep 2 the mainstream.

Read more>>>>

Lana Del Rey spotted canoodling with Marilyn Manson. Has she gone 'too dark'?

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

lana del rey marilyn manson
Lana BB! Say it ain't so! Ur canoodling with the PRINCE OF DARKNESS Marilyn Manson!

He's evil, bb! He actually reminds me of my exBF. He was all into being GOTH and DEATH and one time he almost KILLED ME with a satanic ritual! I'm NOT gonna let that happen to my Lana! One time I actually went to prison for a short time because he killed all the cats in our apartment complex to use in a ritual to try to talk to dead people. He was WEIRD, but I had a 1 year lease signed with him and nowhere else to go. :-(

I hope Lana is NOT dating Marilyn Manson!

I DO NOT think he can please u in the bedroom! I don't think he even has a peen, but I guess u could straddle his chest and ride one of his moobs.

UGH! GROSS! But I shouldn't be talking anyways :-(

Lana BB! I need you to get back with your REAL boyfriend, Barrie James O'Neill! He's a dreamy McHotHot!

Luv U Lana! Stay the same! And DO NOT date a goth guy! Trust me!

Lady Gaga who? #TeamLDR4evr

Lana Del Rey

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Lana Del Rey is a hot female indie singer. She is 'mad controversial.'

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Crystal Castles spotted bronoodling with Joseph Kony. Are they making him alt famous? #STOPKONY #KONY2012


Jospeh Kony is a brand new internet viral sensation who has all of the blogs buzzing. No1 knew who he was, so some white dude who has a perfect life so he uses his excess energy to worry abt Third World issues was all like "I am going to make him go viral bc I own a nonprofit internet buzz company." It worked, and #KONY was #trending harder than any #hashtag that I have seen in hours. Now it seems like Joseph Kony is 'on the run', or he is actually just trying to raise his dictator-vibe/warlord brand, become Osama Bin Laden/Saddam Hussein level 'famous.' It is always hard to convert internet fame to IRL accomplishments, even in the field of genocide, oppression and cruel acts against humanity.

Kony must be trying to break into the buzzosphere because he was recently seen vibing with Crystal Castles. Sorta jealous that Alice Glass might be getting VIP tips on how to construct child armies. More indie buzzbands are attempting to corner the tween/pre-teen market, so u have 2 give CC props for reaching out 2 Kony, killing 3 birds with one stone:

  • Chillin with big thangs poppin
  • LEarning how to build child armies
  • Making Kony Famous #KONY2012 #STOPKONY

Do u think Kony was #canoodling with Alice Glass?
Do u think Ethan Kath will let Kony be an 'other dude' in his band?
Will Kony hurt or help their album sales?
Is Kony replacing 'Bob Smith' in Crystal Castles?

Will Joseph Kony become more alt famous?
Has JoJo Kony's buzz already 'died'?
Is Invisible Children just going to buy iPads 4 Uganda?
Should Invisible Children be shut down by the government?
Were Crystal Castles the original Invisible Children?
What would U do 2 make Kony famous?

Meet MGMT hunk Andrew VanWyngarden's HOT MODEL girlfriend Camille Rowe, see her naked

andrew vanwyngarden girlfriend camille rowe
Andrew VanWyngarden is considered to be one of the hottest indie hunks in the entire game. Despite a lackluster album in Congratulations, he is still vying with Ezra Koenig to be considered the Hottest Hunk in Indie. It seems like Andrew VanByoGarden is officially 'off the market', rumored to be dating his new girlfriend Camille Rowe. From what researchers have pieced together on the internet, Camille Rowe is a model, actress, free spirt, and it girl. VanWyngarden was previously seen canoodling with Disney Tween Star Vanessa Hudgens.

I'm happy 4 Andrew. I never see him smile, but now he has a reason to be smiling, living a 'Models and Bottles' lifestyle, canoodling with Grade A premium BBs. He truly has it all.
camille rowe andrew vanwyngarden naked
Camille looks good, bb! [via Terry Richardson photoshoots]

Ugh. She has everything. I feel ugg next 2 her.

PREVIOUSLY: Is This Woman Ezra Koenig's Girlfriend?

Ugh. It is not fair that Camille Rowe gets a hottie like Andrew VanWyngarden... but at the same time... Andy VanBrogarden deserves a PREMIUM hottie. Look at his bangin bod!

PREVIOUSLY: Cheer up, Andrew VanBrogarden: A look inside the MGMT's depressed vibe.

As a long time student of MGMT, I've nvr seen Andrew so happy. He is usually a tortured soul, imprisoned in the mnstrm expectations of being a widely loved indie band, but now he is free, happy, canoodling with models.
andrew van wyngarden camille rowe

Here is Camille Rowe naked in "Notre Jour Viendra," directed by alt music video director Romain Gavras (M.I.A., Justice, ginger genocide videos).
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Does Camille Rowe have a BANGIN BOD?
R u jeal of VanWyngarden?
Does he not only have buzz riches, but more importantly, premium BBs?
R u happy 4 him?
R u jeal of Camille Rowe?
Do u wish u were a beautiful, talented model it-girl worthy of the love and affection of one of the most creative minds of our generation?

See more photos of the beautiful Camille Rowe, AKA Mrs. VanWyngarden!

Lana Del Rey spotted canoodling with her Hotty McHotHot boyfriend Barrie James O'Neill

lana del rey boyfriend paparazzi
Lana BB! Ur out and abt with ur Hottie McHotHot BF, Barrie James O'Neill! It must be nice to be Lana Del Rey's boyfriend. You have the most coveted mainstream diva in the game in ur arms. She must have some sort of Lord of the Rings fantasy, or vibe out to some Braveheart-style roleplaying. To each her own... Sigh....

PREVIOUSLY: MEET LANA DEL REY'S MYSTERIOUS BOYFRIEND, BARRIE JAMES O'NEILL

Yall DEFANATELY are NOT playing VhheheeehdeeeoohooyooGHHaaYMMEESSSAAAHH tonight! Instead, ur out on a date to WHERE EVER LDR wants to go.
lana del rey first boyfriend who is video games about
Who woulda thought, we spent all this time talking abt her indie cred when her true value was LOOKING BANGIN in some CANOODLING PIX.

Lana BB! Ur looking CURVY and AMAZEBALLS. How do u FIT all those curves in2 ur TINY, BEAUTAFUL figure?
lana del rey ass
Where'd u get ur jeans? Mervyn's? Marshalls? Kohl's? I NEED 2 get me a pair, bb!

I am jealous of Lana Del Rey.
She has it all.
Over 1 million records sold worldwide.
International fame.
And a DREAMBOAT BF named Barrie James O'Neill.

UGH. I need to start a youtube channel and make more mashups so that eventually I can become an internationally known diva.

Does LDR look good?
Should she date some one more famous?
When will Lana Del Rey and Barrie James O'Neill breakup?
Do u think he calls her 'Lizzie Grant' or 'Lana'?

Barrie James O’Neill

Barrie James O’Neill is rumored to be Lana Del Rey's boyfriend. He is in a Scottish alt rock band named Kassidy.

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Meet Lana Del Rey's boyfriend: Barrie James O’Neill

lana del rey boyfriend barrie james oneill
The GOSSIP RAGS have been going GAGA for #LDR, wanting to know EVERYTHING about her personal life. I'm sure that's way more chill than tons of random pretentious indie blogs doing every thing that they can to discredit your artistic intentions and personal aspirations. At least she 'won' the war against indie critics by selling mad albums.

Barrie James O’Neill of Scots rockers Kassidy is dating Lana Del Rey.

The pair finally confirmed they are a couple last night, months after we first reported on their romance.
Video Games star Lana and Barrie were first spotted together at the Tartan Clef awards in Glasgow in November.

Canoodling at the Tartan Clef awards? Sounds like a a dream night!

A source close to Kassidy told the Razz: “I can confirm they are together.”

Lana, 25, has been gushing about Glasgow and told us in November that she visits as often as possible.
She said: “Glasgow is different. It’s very welcoming.”

Does that mean that they don't have internet connections in Scotland?

From what I can tell based on pictures, Kassidy is a ruralwave artist from Scotland. Sorta like how Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver are from the Midwestern American forest, but Kassidy is actually from where ever Lord of the Rings is based. They have beards and long hair.

Here is some song, that features some intense bear dudes playing mad acoustic guitars. Sounds like a song that would be in an American truck commercial.

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Here's another video if ur into bearded bros with long hair.

</embed>

I hope I can turn into LDR's 'type' in the next 3-4 months.

I hope some random fan captured video of this cover emerges, and every blog will have a meme headline, "Watch Lana Del Rey's boyfriend cover VIDEO GAMES."

Kassidy have taken to ending their live shows with a cover of LDR’s No1 smash, Video Games.
Our source said: “They make an unlikely couple but seem to work and bounce well off one another.”

I rlly want to be the other half of her unlikely couple. :-(

UGH. I'm so jeal of this bro. I need to grow out a long, flowing mane of hair and a beard! I wanna canoodle with Lana Del Rey!
lana del rey boyfriend scottish
Does any1 care about Barrie James O’Neill as a human, or is he just "Lana Del Rey's boyfriend"?
Should she find a hotter hunk?
Do u <3 Kassidy?
Will #LDR and #BJO breakup when his band doesn't become as famous as her, then she will date a famous mainstream movie star?
Who should Lana Del Rey date?
Should she be able to date an A-List hunk celebrity, and not just some busker who signed a record contract?
Do u wish LDR happiness?
Will this relaish last 4 evr, or will the distance tear them apart?
Do u h8 filthy Scottish men?

Barrie James O’Neill

Barrie James O’Neill is rumored to be Lana Del Rey's boyfriend. He is in a Scottish alt rock band named Kassidy.

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel spotted canoodling with mystery woman. Is she 'experimenting' post-Ben?


Just this weekend, Zooey Deschanel tweeted this picture of another woman holding her. For the first time in what seems like forever, I feel like I'm looking at a picture of Zooey where she looks like she is at peace, comforted by the embrace of another human. I don't mean 2 fuel 'zooey deschanel lesbian rumors', but I rlly just want her 2 be happy. I don't believe in 'gender' or any sort of assigned sexuality [via societal standards]. I want Ben to be happy too... One day, Ben and Zooey will both find happiness, even if it is not together. Who is this mystery woman?

After doing some internet research, I learned that the woman is actually named Whitney Cummings. She stars on some NBC comedy sitcom called 'Whitney', which tells the tale of a white woman in a whimsical world. I guess it is basically NBC's version of 'New Girl', so it makes sense that ZoZo and WhiWhi understand one another perfectly. They are the same person, except just on different networks....

Do u think Ben is jeally?
Is she just having 'girl time', creating internet content to improve her profile?
What's the difference between bronoodling and canoodling?
Does ZoZo 'finally look happy'?
Would ZoZo ever 'go lez' to 'pull an Anne Heche' into the hearts of mainstreamers?
Should she d8 Ellen?
Have u ever watched 'New Girl' or 'Whitney'?
Does Whitney look like she has a 'bangin' Chelsea-Handler like body?

Indie harpist Joanna Newsom spotted canoodling with Andy Samberg at Portlandia premiere


Portlandia had a 'massive premiere party' because it is the most-watched show ever on IFC, so Fred Armisen has basically turned into 'the Jerry Seinfeld [via NBC]' of IFC. Anyways, there were basically just a bunch of 'alt comedians and comediennes who were trying to go mainstream there' aka 'SNL castmembers.' The only real indie highlight was a picture of indie harpist songstress Joanna Newsom 'canoodling' with her Jewish SNL funnyman BF Andy Samberg. I sorta wish I could know more abt them, or better yet, actually be one of them so I would know what it was like to be in a famous relaish. It seems more entertaining than a 'regular person' relaish where ur just bored, watch TV, then argue abt 'what'z 4 dinner'. :-(

U have 2 feel happie for Fred Armisen's success after her was dating that broad who played 'Bettie', the floozie who got preggers and gave away the baby on Mad Men because IRL she started riding Scientology waves. #TeamFred #TeamFarmisen

Do yall think they 'look happie' or will one of them jump ship soon 2 another relevant indie famous person?

There were more ppl at this partie.

Here is the guy from "All That!", which was a version of SNL for tweens, eventually leading him to star in the hit film "Good Burger."
keenan thompson

Kristen Wiig shows off her HOT BOD now that she is dating with that guy from the Strokes who d8s famous ppl.

U have to give Joanna Newsom credit for not 'going ZoZo' and doing everything she can to monetize her 'indie brand'. She's just a simple girl who likes playing the harp...

Here are some of the women from the SNL cast. They will probably all get mysteriously fired at the end of the season and replaced with equally forgettable comediennes.

Here are the non-famous SNL bros who will probably 'get canned' and end up playing a guy who gets mad at Larry David on an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in 5 years, and every1 will be like 'SNL totally didn't use _____ right!'

Do u wish u went to the Portlandia premiere?
Does it seem buzzworthy?
Would u rather be in a buzzband or be a buzz comedian?
Is Fred Armisen at the top of the alt world?
Was episode 1 of Portlandia 'mad funnie' or 'whatevz'?
Do u wish u could canoodle with some1 who was alt famous?
Will Joanna Newsom 'take' Andy Samberg's name when they get married?
Will he force her 2 sign a prenup?
Do u dream that 1 day u will be on SNL / Portlandia / funnyordie.com?

Fred Armisen

Alternative Celebrity, Actor

Fred Armisen is an alt comedian who is the star of IFC's "Portlandia."

Lists: comedians
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Joanna Newsom

Alternative Celebrity

Joanna Newsom is some indie songstress who plays the harp and writes weirdo songs that some ppl say are 'amazing.'

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Unchill AZN Bro spotted canoodling with unknown monkey


Hi Unchill AZN Bro...
How've u been. It sure has been a long time, hasn't it?
It's good 2 know ur still the same...
Hella Unchill...
But at the same time...
Why r u still so unchill?
I thought u would have learned by now...
just to chill out.

who is that bro?
A monkey?
That's chill
The monkey seems like he knows how 2 vibe out
But ur kinda harshing his vibes

Why don't u just leave him alone?
Maybe bring him a banana
He can just hang out, vibe on the banana
Just like he's in the jungle

Oh Unchilly...
U always know how 2 harsh every1's vibes
It doesn't matter if the being is a human
or an animal
or an alien

Ur unchillness transcends it all, bb!

Unchill After All

Will Unchill AZN Bro 'get more chill' in 2k12?
Or will he only get unchiller?

Brooklyn Poet & DJ Tao Lin spotted canoodling with Lana Del Rey


Recently, Lana Del Rey was spotted canoodling with relevant AltJew DJ A-TRAK [link]. She is truly becoming a top tier alt socialite, and we will see no shortage of pictures of her canoodling with other relevant alt celebs so that blogs can post it and be all like '2 brilliant minds and talents are meeting.' Can't wait 4 festival season! <3 <3 <3

Now, it seems like she has moved on to a new DJ (and writer/poet) Tao Lin. As you may remember, Tao Lin made his DJ debut at #BleepyBloopFest several months ago [link]. He is best known for writing abt his personal life as if he is depressed, so he will probably write some erotic story about a sexual encounter with Lana Del Rey, except his penis couldn't get hard then he will say random quirky stuff that wanna-be-literary-tweens will think is all insightful and revolutionary.

Who knows if Tao Lin and Lana Del Rey will last... he sure is moving fast after the recent separation from his ex-wife, Megan Boyle. He is on record as saying that the breakup was 'her fault', so I hope that he has found happiness.

Do u think they make a good couple?
Does Lana Del Rey have 'yellow fever'?
Does Tao look good, healthy, tan?
Can Lana Del Rey finally find a man who isn't on the couch playin' his veeehddeeooohh gaaahhyymes? -mainstream 'gossip rag' when Lana Del Rey dates a famous TV star

New Alt Couple Alert? Strokes drummer Fab Moretti spotted 'canoodling' with Kristen Wiig


Kristen Wiig is known as 'the new Tina Few' because Bridesmaids was funnier than 'Mean Girls', even though Kristen Wiig just plays the same one-trick-pony-wave characters on SNL. Anyways, for some reason, she has been branded as a 'hot cougar / MILF' even though she doesn't have any kids and u have no idea how old she is. Now she is 'dating a rock star' or something, that drummer dude from the Strokes.

Anyways, they were legitimately 'canoodling' at a lamestream cool dad Black Keys concert, 'according 2 sources.'

Has Kristen Wiig snared hot Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti? After unveiling a sexier look in the new issue of GQ — pouting in black underwear and high heels, with a Champagne flute — “Bridesmaids” and “SNL” star Wiig was spotted canoodling with Moretti, Drew Barrymore’s ex, at a Black Keys album party Monday night. Spies saw Wiig and Moretti “all over each other” at the rock ’n’ roll shindig at newly opened W Union Square club Lilium. “They were literally on top of each other,” said a source who witnessed the comedienne and the snare-beater keeping time together.

Pix or it didn't happen... I guess we just have to wait and see if some lamestream paparazzi photo of them 'canoodling' in the street emerges...

Is Kristen Wiig 'funny' or 'overrated' as a comedienne + hottie?
Would u rather bang Wiig or Tina Fey?
Do u want to canoodle with a buzzworthy famous person at a mindie concert VIP section?
Do u think they were rlly 'canoodling' or is this 'fake news'?
Is Fabbie Moretti the 'hottest member of the Strokes'?
Should she d8 Ezra Koenig instead?
Can they replace Andy Samberg and Joanna Newsom as the #1 'SNL castmember + buzz human' couple?

Do u want to 'bend over' Kristen Wiig and make her call u 'daddie'?

Fabrizio Moretti

Alternative Celebrity

Fabrizio Moretti is the drummer in The Strokes. He is a chill Brazilian bro.

Lists:
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The Strokes

Buzzband

The Strokes may have been the first buzzband of the 21st century.

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Avril Lavigne spotted canoodling with her Sum41 hottie BF!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Avril BB! U an ur hubby look like u BELONG 2GETHER. Ur both totally punk hipsters!

I need to add a little bit of pizzazz to my outfits to be more hipstery! They seem to be ALL THE RAGE. I wanna get ur pants, Avril BB! They look like a TOTALLY FUNKY american flag. Hehe. U have an AMAZING BOD and an AMAZING LOOK. I wanna be U! My exBF honestly never went shopping with me. He'd just stay at home and work on his rap career, but then he downloaded a bunch of free software onto my Dell laptop and it got contaminated with viruses. So much for McAffee antivirus :-( #liars

Ur BF looks like a boat captain! 1 time I went on a boat, but I ended up sinking it bc I was too hefty and I broke a hole in the boat. It was emberressing, and they didn't throw me a life jacket. Fortunately, my hefty layers of fat helped keep me bouyant and I eventually reached shore ~4 days later. It was TERRIBLE and my skin has never been the same! I;ve retained s0 much water weight :-( I need to start going to Zumba again.

Avril! I hope ur happy now! U deserve it!

Hayley Williams who? #TeamAvril!

Lana Del Rey spotted canoodling with relevant alt DJ A-TRAK. Is there ♥ in the air?


Lana Del Rey is 'fresh meat' on the indie scene, which means that she hasn't been tainted by years on the road like many other relevant alt females. Every1 wants a piece of her. Boys, girls, agents, managers, some guy who just opened a club, some people with blogs that want to interview her. There is simply not enough Lana to go around...

Which is why we are SO happy 4 her because she was spotted canoodling with relevant AltJew DJ A-TRAK. It seems like he is truly a Chosen One... not just because he is a member of the Chosen Ppl, but because Lana chose him 2 canoodle with. I have NEVER seen her smile like that. She usually just sexily gazes into the camera and sings 'VEEDEEOHHYOOO GAAAHHEEYMMS.' But now she finally has some one to ride in the passenger seat of her Ferrari!

Congrats to Lana Del Rey and Alain Macklovitch! I wonder if she will keep her last name or go by 'Lana Del Macklovitch.' Most likely, she will keep her stage name, and be referred to as 'Lizzie Macklovitch.' Let's hope that she isn't telling A-TRAK to get back to playing his turntable video games any time soon!

WILL YALL SRSLY KNOCK IT OFF? WE GET IT. UR TOTALLY IN <3.

Twitter PDAs make me sad bc I have no1 relevant 2 flirt with me on twitter. :'-(

R u happy for A-TRAK and Lana Del Rey?
Is Lana Del Rey dating A-TRAK?
Do u think Dave 1 from Chromeo is 'hella jealous' of the 'slam piece' that his bro snagged?
Have u ever seen Lana smile like that?
Do they seem like a good couple?
Do u think he is producing a Duck_Sauce-like anthem to help her appeal to ppl who like 'club music'?
On a scale from 0.0 to 10.0, what score would u give them on the CANOODLE FACTOR?

A-Trak

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

A-Trak is a popular alt DJ who is also mainstream.

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Kickball Katy spotted canoodling with Black Lips frontman Jared Swilley who bronoodled with Ryan Gosling


Kickball Katy is known as one the QTest BBs in the entire indiesphere. Jared Swilley is known as 'one of the bad boys of indie.' What happens when they get together and pose 4 a Gorilla Vs. Bear polaroid? The are TOTES canoodling, but most importantly, they both LOOK REAL GOOD, BBs.

This is great news, especially after the death of Zooey Deschanel and Benjamin Gibbard. We need more of the world's alt celebs producing 'canoodling moments', even if they are just 4 us 2 blog. I hope that JarBear gives Katy a chance, even tho he seems to be canoodling/bronoodling with RyGos, who is totesally a hauttie.

Who would u rather canoodle with: Kickball Katy or Ryan Gosling?
Is Jared Swiley 'hotter' than Win Butler/Bradford Cox?
Can Kickball Katy 'go solo' and release an album that sounds halfway between Best Coast and Lana Del Rey?
Who is the #1 couple in indie right now?
Is Ryan Gosling 'the poor man's Leonardo DiCaprio'?
Is Ryan Gosling just 'the new James Franco' [mean that as an insult]?
What indie celeb do u want 2 canoodle with?

Jared Swilley

Alternative Celebrity

Jared Swiley is the frontman bad boy of the Black Lips. One time he beat up WAVVES.

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Andrew VanWyngarden spotted canoodling with Vanessa Hudgens. New couple alert?


Andy VanWyngarden is the lead singer of the popular indie band MGMT. Although their sophomore album 'Congratulmalautions' kinda tanked critically and didn't meet the pop expectations of the indiesphere, he is still one of the most famous alt celebs in the game, and is still seen as a VIP at relevant altstream events. In this picture he is seen canoodling with Vanessa Hudgens, star of High School Musical. It seems like they are really vibing, and he is on his way 2 replacing her Hottie McHotHot ex, Zach Efron.

Hudgens: I LOVE the management!
VanBroGard: I love Hi Skewl Musical!
Hudgens: Despite what the h8rs say, I <3 the new album, bb!
VanBroGardy: I beat off to ur nudes on the regs, bb!

CoMe On OvR... CuM oN oVeR BB....

Andy's a lucky man!

Just wanna take some molly with her at Coachelly.... [link]

I really hope Andy can 'tap dat'... #TeamIndieBrosBangingMnstrmTabloidBroads

S0 S0 VIP DJ set

R u happy for Andy VanWynGarden's new <3?
Does Vanessa Deserve him?
Is she a hot lil slutwaver?
Is Andy's body WAY MORE BANGIN than Zach Efron's'?
Does it look like <3 is in the air?
Is Andy VanBro abt to become a mainstream tabloid-wave celeb?

Alice Glass spotted canoodling with mystery man. Who THE EFF is he?

Photo by thecobrasnake

Alice BB...
I thought we had something...
I thought we were spesh...
I thought what we shared was real...

But now I see pix of u
canoodling with some 'big shot'
dressed in a suit
all rich looking.

Is that what ur attracted 2?
I started dressing like Ethan Kath bc I thought that was the vibe u r in2...

Now all I'm left with
are a bunch of hoodies
and jackets from the army surplus store.

Who is MR BIG SHOT, Alice?
What does he have that I don't have?
$$$$$$$?
Alt power?
Fame?
Political power?
Buzz power?
Music Industry cnnxns?
Sponsorship opportunities?
Relevancy?
Post-relevancy?

Alice...
Why?
Alice?
I thought we were spesh...
I thought we vibed...
I thought I knew u...

Well, I hope ur happy
and u find whatever it is
ur looking 4...

btw
Can I still get a guestlist spot when u come to town?

Steve Aoki spotted canoodling with Paris Hilton.


Steve Aoki is a ravestream electro DJ who is largely responsible 4 taking relevant electro 2 the masses, capitalizing off a bunch of Middle Americans who 'want to be more like cool Los Angeles ravers' and purchase shirts with his image on them. Anyways, it seems like he was spotted canoodling with 'mainstream it girl' Paris Hilton. I'm not sure how mainstream relevant she is, or if she had a labotomy like Britney Spears or something, but she hasn't really been generating very many headlines lately. Maybe that means she found happiness.

They are 'canoodling', with Aoki doing the 'hover hand' on her bangin bod. If I were him, I would probably get a better grip on those ROCK HARD ABS. He earned it.

Is Paris Hilton 'still relevant'?
Did u ever vibe 2 her sex tape?
Is Steve Aoki 'the God of Rave'?
Do u miss the prime of Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton back when they were all abt dropping memes 2 be famesies?
Do they both look good, bb?

Grizzly Bear frontman Ed Droste spotted canoodling with alt comedienne Sarah Silverman


Who is that indie celeb brushing shoulders with alt comedienne Sarah Silverman? Well it's Grizzly bear's lead Hotty McHotHot, Edward Droste. Ed has been WORKING HARD on a new GrizzBear album, so I'm glad he took some time 2 bronoodling with some relevant Hollywood celebs at a VIP event... U deserve it, bb! Ur so Hollywood! I'm sure she made some really 'inappropriate jokes', then farted, then talked in stupid voices. Every1 laughed, she got a sitcom deal, then it was cancelled after 1 season when it only got niche-level ratings.

Here he is playing grab ass with some broad who looks moderately famous. I still feel like the picture of him next to Sarah Silverman 'carries more weight' in terms of celebrity cred.

Does Ed 'look good'?
Has he 'gone Hollywood'?
Are indie celebs maturing, and reaching the point where they 'leave NYC' and start a new, rich & leisurely life in Hollywood?
Will Grizzly Bear ever set aside their internal differences and determine who is the 'famousest' member of their group?
Do u think that their 2k9 album 'Vecky' was better than 'MPP'?

Christina Aguilera hangs out with ADELE! I <3 my Curvie BBs!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Xtina BB! Adele BB! You 2 are SO lucky you get to hang with each other!!

I would KILL 2 meet some1 famous. Srsly, one time I volunteered at the butcher's because the manager had an IN with the puffy tire guy. I chopped up cows for three months just to shake hands with the tire guy. And it turned out that it wasn't even HIM, it was the butcher's NEPHEW dressed up in white spray-painted innertubes and floaties! A-Hole!

Honestly sometimes my body feels like I am covered in puffy tires filled with lard goo. It is honestly difficult, but Xtina and DeleBB give me HOPE that a curvy woman can truly MAKE IT in this industry. I need to start hitting the gym, asap, so that I can finally get my dream bod.

Adill BB! When I 1st heard ur singing, i thought u were a black woman!! I didn't know a white girl could have so much SOUL!! Aretha Franklin who? #TeamAdele

Luv u 2 BBs!! Luv lulv luv ur BIG hair Adlee! CUTE hat Xtina BB! I need to get a lil cap for Girls Nite Out ASAP!

WAVVES spotted canoodling with Courtney Love. Are they cheating on their indie lovers?


Nathan Williams AKA WAVVES is known for dating Best Coast frontwoman Bethany Cosentino. They are in a passionate love affair united by weed, tween TV, and twitter. Courtney Love is dating Jack Donoghue from Salem. Why were these 2 indie alt powerhouses spotted canoodling?

U can't help but wonder... is there TROUBLE IN PARADISE?
is this an indie LOVE AFFAIR scandal?
Who is CHEATING on who?
Should there be an indie web TV show called 'CHEATERS' where cheaters are busted on camera?

I feel really bad for Jack and Beth... U never know, maybe they'll end up 2gether just to 'get revenge' on their ex-lovers. I am saying my indie prayers, and just hope that every1 ends up being happy on the inside. Love is beautiful, but it can also hurt. The same goes 4 buzzluv.

In related news, some alt tweens took a keut picture with Nathan Williams.

Keep it in ur pants, Nate Dog! Bethie deserves better.

And while ur at it... Change ur shirt, bb! Weed is NOT kewl.

R u sad abt this new INDIE SEX SCANDAL?
#Pray4nathan #pray4courtney #pray4kurt #pray4beth #Pray4jack #pray4every1

Wavves

Buzzband

WAVVES is a fuzzy buzzy buzzband that sings about aliens, marijuana and being a failure in life but laughing abt it because u r high.

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Courtney Love officially dating Jack Donoghue from Salem.

courtney love boyfriend jack  salem
Courtney Love is a famous alt rocker broad who was married 2 Kurt Cobain but then he took his own life. It seems like now she is just searching 4 a man who is alt enough 2 fill his shoes. Here comes rapegaze hotttie Jack Donoghue 2 save the day and make her feel like she's the only gurle in the world!

They were spotted canoodling at a red carpet event and Jack was showin' off his totally keut new indie male haircut!

Hooray 4 'going pub'!

Courtney Love went public with her new boyfriend, rocker Jack Donoghue, at a charity gala in New York City this week.

The Hole star, who has been open about her search for love in recent months, arrived at the amfAR New York Inspiration Gala on Tuesday night on the arm of Donoghue, a member of Michigan-based rock group Salem.

The new couple posed for pictures on the red carpet with their arms around each other and were snapped holding hands.

I rlly need 2 check out this 'Michigan-based rock group. I'll bet they sound a lot like Nirvana.' -a rockstreamer

Will Jack and Courtney 'make it'?
Who goes on better benders?
Do they have good body language 2gthr?
Should Jack d8 some1 who is 'more indie'?
Will this help Salem 2 'go more mnstrm'?
Can Jack 'replace' Kurt Cobain?

Salem

Buzzband

Salem is a rape gaze buzzband who sing songs abt dark themes. Many ppl say they 'suck' while others think they are 'brilliant.'

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