Bon Iver | Hipster Runoff

Bon Iver

ULTIMATE LAMESTREAM, DUBSTEP SLUTWAVE & COOL DAD INDIE GRAMMY RECAP


Did u watch the Grammys?
Is there any sort of cultural commentary 2 add other than 'famous ppl of various talent levels gave us memes 2 overanalyze, mock, and slutshame'?

THESE ARE THE 2K12 GRAMMYS....

'I wish these were rotisserie chickens' [via hefty_ppl_jokes]

Tonight was the chubwave genre's coming out party.

Guy from Deep Blue Sea hosted [via Deepest Darkest]

Bon Iver won some award that Skrillex should have won. Delivered horrible speech.

'I am not a whore and men are mean 4 lying 2 me abt loving me' -Taylor Swift's simple message of female empowerment

Say what u will abt Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna, but at the end of the day, he's the best in the game in haunting your graphic rape fantasies.

'U like dat ass?' -Slutwave 101 textbook, chapter 32

Adele collabs with some soulpatch-wave, sculted facial hair country singer bros

Adam Levine is truly the hardest twink in the game right now.

The White Stripes reunited.

Kings of Leon looking swole

Mumford and Sons looking 'dapper'

Robyn looking like a fashion disaster/foreign little boy with bowl haircut

I'm not sure why she wore her kinky sex toys 2 the Grammys. Seems classless, trying 2 hard 2 be a slutwaver.

Not sure why Lykke Li was invited. Thought she was just a random female indie artist.

CONTINUE READING GRAMMY RECAP POST AND LOOKING AT ALL OF THE RANDOM PPL --->>>>>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Read more>>>>

Bonny Bear trends on Twitter after winning Grammy. Has Bonny Bear gone mnstrm?


Last night, indie music made history again when Bon Iver won a Grammy during the mainstream telecast for 'Best New Artist.' However, the Grammys are not just an awards show where indie music fans can say 'indie music has arrived' while watching Nicki Minaj crucify herself on stage, having dry sex with the pope--the Grammys provide us with an opportunity to see 'our two Americas' [via social networks].

While white people often believe that they have created and curated the most authentic, 'connected', and relevant cultural experience, we can always see that there is a 'lower class' of society who aren't just 'poor', but more importantly, not connected to relevant indie buzzbands. Last night, Bonny Bear trended on Twitter. It seems as though the 'lower class' of social network users created an unintentional meme, trying to wrap their heads around Bon Iver, who looked like a lost Midwestern man.

Has Bonny Bear become an important part of society now that he has trended on Twitter?

'Who Be Dat Bonny Bear Ass Fool?' #BlackPplAndTweensWhoMakeThingsTrendOnTwitter

via Brooklyn Vegan


Are 'culturally relevant' ppl 'racist' for making fun of the second class citizens who don't overanalyze indie rock on a daily basis?

Does indie rock only appeal 2 white, affluent ppl?
Do white people think that they are s0oo0o much smarter than poor/black/colored ppl?
Did Bon Iver intentionally dress like a Mr. Holland's Opus-type music teacher who wanted to 'teach lamestream masses' about how they could learn to escape from their sad, sad lives by listening to serene-wave indie music?

Do u <3 the new buzz video by Bonnie Bear?

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Do u <3 Bonny Bear?

Will Bonny Bear go mainstream in 2k12?
Is Bonny Bear more popular than Bon Iver?
Should Bon Iver change their name to 'Bonny Bear' to appeal to coloreds and poors who can 'only spell things phonetically' [via the Third World American educational system]?
Does Bon Iver have it all?
Does Bonny Bear have more than Bon Iver?
R u on #TeamBonnyBear or #TeamBonIver?
Are we #slutshaming poors, coloreds, and uneducateds when we create indie centric memes that celebrate 'how effing stupid' people who don't listen to 'relevant white people music' are?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bonny Bear

Alternative Celebrity, Meme

Bonny Bear is the winner of the 2012 Best New Artist Grammy Award.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver does infomercial for lower back pain to appeal to aging cool dads.


As u may know, we are all dying, and our bodies are slowly deteriorating, joint by joint, bone by bone, and one day we will be unable to even wipe our own asses. There is something abt the process of dying that unites humanity, but more importantly, an entire generation who is coming to terms with 'getting old' and being unable to do things like they did when they were young, like playing basketball and having 'effing ridonk sex without ur peen going soft.' Cool dads are a very important indie market, and they are not immune from aging. Despite their love for boring indie rock played by white men, they are going thru tons of issues.

  • Male pattern hair loss
  • Hair in NEW places!
  • Diabetes
  • Sleep Apnea
  • Snoring
  • Miscellaneous pains
  • heart attacks
  • High Blood Pressure
  • High cholesterol
  • Erectile Dysfunction
  • Torn ACLs
  • Tennis elbow
  • STDs
  • getting ur tubes tied
  • and many more middle-aged-man issues.

That's why Bon Iver released this new video informercial for 'doing exercise.' Apparently, it helps to keep u alive longer and ur body healthy. He must be trying to become some sort of 'fitness expert', eventually becoming a judge on the Biggest Loser where u get to humiliate fat ppl. It's basically the opposite of having a 'feeder' fetish.

He found some 'in shape twink' at his local gym. Usually when I want to pick up a guy, I'll do a Zumba or Core-building class, then 'see what happens' in the showers/sauna.

Bon Iver's life is WAY BETTER bc of exercise. Even when he is on the road, he still exercises, and even makes his band do it. Basically, this seems like it is some sort of advertisement for 'Curves for Men' or something.

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Props to Bon Iver for beating his sciatica, or whatever he said he has. I am afraid of turning into a cool dad, my metabolism slowing down, and having to dedicate my life 2 health and fitness so I don't become some 'fat lamestream dad eating 6 strips of bacon for breakfast.' Hopefully one day I can 'ball' with him, and take out his lower back in order to 'win the game', then every1 will be like 'it's just a pickup game, man. why r u taking it so seriously?' and I'll be all like 'I play the game to effing win, bitches. GAME OVER.'

R u afraid of being a middle aged man?
R u afraid of being an uncool dad?
R u afraid of geting older?
Could Bon Iver 'beat the shit out of Win Butler' at basketball, or would Win Butler 'cheap shot' his back?

Should the Milwaukee Bucks move 2 Chicago, putting a 2nd NBA Team in one of the biggest American Markets, similar to NYC and LA?
Has Justin Vernon 'gone too far' 2 try to appeal 2 cool dads?
Is 'getting older' a very vulnerable process?
Do u think u can stay young 4evr?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

A 'Complete Guide' to Indie, Mindie, Dubstep, Electro & Alt Buzzband Grammy Nominations


During the infancy of 'indie', back when it was something that individual fans felt that they could 'be proud of', a Grammy nomination was met with astonishment and validation. However, in the post-Arcade-Fire-wins-the-night-and-validates-indie era, it seems like random ass indie bands will get nominated every year, and no1 really cares, and we all already know that 'indie went mainstream'. Gonna be a weird era, but we will still see the same tweets/half-assed 'thought pieces' about 'what indie means' & other gimmicky over-analysis of 'the most coveted prize in American music.'

The most stunning development of the night is Skrillex's five nominations. He is just behind Kanye West and Adele who each have six noms. Skrillex is the first electronic artist put into the Best New Artist category, so he is basically a 'legitimate trailblazer' even if James Blake tries to discredit him because his brand of dubstep is too aggressive. Bon Iver also got some Sympathy Noms, and Foster the Ppl are riding their Pumped Up Kickswaves to another awards show, then we get to see if they 'last' or 'fade away' as one of the 2010s best one-hit-wonders.

Here is a breakdown of indie, electro, mindie, bubble gum indie, cool dad, dubstep, dance_house, chillwave, and other relevant alt genres/humans who were nominated 4 Grammys. (View a complete list of every nomination here.)

The 'Biggest' News

Best New Artist

OMG Skrilly and Bon Iver in the same category?
But isn't Bon Iver a middle aged man from the Midwest? Isn't he an old ass artist who has been around 4 a while? Guess it doesn't matter. Bon Iver was also nominated for 'Record of the Year' and 'Song of the Year', but just because he is a cool dad indie band like the Arcade Fire, don't expect that b0ring a$$ album to 'actually win.' I think this is the beginning of a default 'mainstream indie band' nomination for most of the big awards. It is symbolic/sympathetic.

It seems like the surprise Arcade Fire moment of the show would be Skrillex winning. There is always a bad feeling that Nicki Minaj's big ass will waddle up to accept the award, but as long as she is slippin us some nip, we'll be alright.

!!! Continue Reading this post !!

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Do Owls have the legal right to sue Bon Iver and James Blake for using their 'hoots' in their horrible song?


Owls seem like a pretty chill animal. They stay up late at night [via insomnia], get some munchies, have KILLER post-lasik eye surgery-wave eyes, and just chow down on small mammals that they totally crush within their talons. As you know, owls generally make a distinguishable noise: "Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!"

Unfortunately, their traditional noise was used in the TERRIBLE song by James Blake and Bon Iver, which is widely considered the worst song of 2k11...

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It seems unfair to owls to be utilized by Jimmy Blake and Bob Iver in this unfair manner. Owls hoot for various reasons. "Owls call for the same reason as any other critter makes noises - to communicate. A call may be territorial - warning others to stay away, or it can be to contact a mate or young, or advertise availability for breeding..." Owls DO NOT hoot just so they can be utilized unfairly in buzz songs without receiving appropriate compensation.

This chill owl bro is just vibing in the forest, looking to mark his territory, looking to meet other owls, connect with them, socially network with them, throw down chill sessions with them, maybe buy wristbands to go to regional owl-based music festivals with them. Owls want no part in a new buzz song. Owls just want to be owls.

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The new song by James Vernon Justin Blake was a massive disaster, and there are so many stories from many faceless victims whose vibes were totally harshed and abused by their song. Until James and Justy make a public apology abt what they have done, it seems like we cannot move on as an indie society, picking up the pieces 2 rebuild our fallen community.

This wasn't just a terrible song...
This is a terrible moment 4 indie
A terrible moment 4 owls...

The truth is, I might never hear an owl again without thinking of this horrible buzz song.. and that's not fair 2 owls.

This owl family might never recover from the Blake-Iver Disaster. The owl cubs will be lucky 2 get in2 community college.

Do u think this owl rlly wants 2 be seen in public after his likeness was ABUSED in a terrible buzz song? I feel really bad 4 him.

Similar to when Chinese families have daughters, many owls are being thrown off cliffs by their owners. Fortunately for owls, they can fly away...

Any chilly vibes that owls enjoy are certain 2 thaw now, bringing upon the harshest era of owl vibes evr.

Do u feel bad 4 the owls?
Are owls the new official 'alt animal'?
Should owls file a class action lawsuit against Blake and Iver?
Do u think the owl noises are the best or worst part of their song?
What legal rights do owls have?
Is animal sampling going to be the 'next big indie meme'?
Is 'Fall Creek Boys Choir' the worst song of 2k11?
Will we evr be able 2 forgive James Blake and Bon Iver 4 what they did to our endangered owl population?
R u on #TeamOwl or #TeamAsshole?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

James Blake

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

James Blake is a solo buzzband from London. Some call him 'the prince of dubstep.'

Read more>>>>

Is the new James Blake + Bon Iver song the worst song of 2k11?


Yesterday, Bon Iver and James Blake released a new collaborative MP3 entitled "Fall Creek Boys Choir." It was widely blogged abt because James Blake is a buzzworthy new brand in the indiesphere, and Bon Iver is a respected 'heavyweight' in indie. They have similar enough aesthetics, even though they are kinda boring.

It seems like any1 with ears can come to the conclusion that the song is 'horrible.' Why does it even need to exist? Why did they even release it? Were members of their inner-circles too blinded by the potential for the song to 'melt the blogosphere' because of the headlines it would generate?

I gave the song a few more listens to try to see if maybe I was 'missing something.' Maybe there was some sort of hidden beauty, like if u put on big headphones or something.

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Owl hoots. Owl hoots. Owl hoots. This is a total 'laugh riot.' It feels like it 'has to be a joke.' I wonder if one of them knew it was 'not going well', but they didn't have the heart to 'pull the plug.'

When a song is this bad, it forces u to take a step back and look at the current indie infrastructure. How can a song that is so bad get so much buzz 4 all the wrong reasons?

We are all MP3 consumers, consumers of buzz, and we entrust indie artists to deliver relevant MP3s for us to add to our MP3 libraries. The MP3s become the soundtrack of our lives'. We become angry when relevant artists BETRAY us by releasing subpar content. They are mocking us. They bait blogs into blogging about them, just because blogs want hits, and megabranded artists are the easiest way 2 get hits.

Blogspots 'sacrifice' their 'editorial voice', attempting to remain neutral to a 'big pile of poo' song. The indie consumer becomes confused. Their trusted tastemaking blog posted an MP3 by their fave artist(s), but for some reason, it sounds like poo. Everything is a mess. Every1 has violated one another's indie trust.

The buzzband abused the blog.
The blog abused the buzzband.
The blog abused the consumer.
The buzzband abused the consumer.
The consumer has lost trust in the buzzband and the blog.

And at the end of the day, all we have left is some silly song with men trying to do Rick Astley/Bruce Hornsby impressions and owls hooting in the background.

Shame on Bon Iver and James Blake. They really let the blogosphere down... It seems like their new song will certainly be considered the WORST MP3 of 2k11. Hollow buzz can ruin a career. This might be the beginning of the end for __________.

Is this the worst mp3 of 2k11?
Is this the worst 'hyped' mp3 in blog decades?
Do u <3 or h8 Jimmy Blake?
Do u <3 or h8 Bon Iver?
Do u know n e 1 who thought this song was 'brilliant'?
Are u srsly 'perplexed' by how pointless/bad this song is?
Do u think some1 should have 'pulled the plug' on releasing this song?
What is the worst/overhyped mp3 of 2k11?

James Blake

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

James Blake is a solo buzzband from London. Some call him 'the prince of dubstep.'

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver tries to appeal to hip hop community by wearing a Frank Ocean headband

Photos via P4k

Dude!
Bonny Bear!
Whaddup dude?
HAven't seen u since like the Grammys when u KILLED IT
with ur thrift store suit

What's that on top or ur head?
Oh cool a #headband
Reminds me of Frank Ocean
Oh KEWL
U bros are headband bros!

U guys just swaggin out?
That's kewl
Throwin down a chill.
I might get a Frank Ocean headband.
I heard all the chill bros are vibin in Frank Ocean headbands

Welcome to the headband bandwagon
GTFOuttahere
I've been rockin the DIY headband since before u were doing Nappy Dynamite Uncle Rico impressions

Does Bon Iver look #SWAG?
Will he appeal to the hip hop community?
Is Frank Ocean 'trying too hard' 2 be friends with white ppl?
Do more white ppl like John Mayer or Bon Iver?
R u gonna make a Frank Ocean headband?
R u gonna be Frank Ocean 4 Halloween?

PREVIOUSLY


Was Bon Iver the biggest FASHION DISASTER of the Grammys? [via the FASHION POLICE]

ALSO


Was Bon Iver's Grammy acceptance speech a disgrace 2 the indie community?

Bon Iver grows new pair of bro-wave side burns, has KILLER mutton chops!


Dude! Bron Broiver!
IS that friggin YOU, bro dog?
I didn’t recognize u behind those SWEET ASS #BRO_BURNS
IS that ur summer look, dawg?

Ur gonna effing CRUSH IT on the festival circuit
Stealing MAD FANS from Avett Brothers, Mumford and Bros
Ur gonna take over that bro ass market share
Who just wanna vibe out to some ruralwave honky shit

Dude, ur like a friggin confederate bro general
Killin some Northerners
Enslaving some slaves
Making love to some slavewives
Covering up your halfie illegitmate children
Now that’s what i call effing #SWAG: Volume BRO4evr

Dude! I gotta grow those friggin mutton chops on my face
I’ll bet so many bitches sit on that shit
Like ur face is a toilet
but instead of discharging the bad juice and goo
They discharge the sweet stuff

PIMP.

Keep growing that shit, Bon Bro.
You are no longer a fashion disaster
Ur just a Civil War ass bro
Prob like to drink some moonshine with the boys

That’s pretty effing swag, dawg
Let’s meet a breastaurant so we can eat some fuckin wings and talk about the waitresses’ titties, bro
Then we can run a train, and Eiffel Tower some fuckin bitches who get wet 2 ur music
Bon Iver is finally embracing the bro of his appeal

R u going to grow some Bon Iver sideburns?
Does he look totally bro?
Do u think he goes to some frat in the SEC conference?
Does he look hella chill?
Do u want to fight in an Indie Civil War re-enactment with him?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver designs shoe. Are the AIR BONNY BEARS the ugliest shoe in indie?


Bon Iver is widely known as one of the biggest fashion disasters in indie. He showed up to the Grammys wearing a thrift store suit, and continually displays a sense of uncool dad fashion. He is trying to build his brand empire by creating a new shoe/sneaker line for cool dads. Imagine an NPR-wave cool dad wearing this shit, and being all like, "Have u heard of the Bon Ivers? This is their shoe." Then the other person will be like, "Who is Bonny Bear?"

R u gonna buy the Air Bonny Bears, or do they look really ugly?

Ur telling me this guy gets to design a shoe? I'd rather go to an Asian sweatshop and have an enslaved 'shoe artist' make me a shoe than wear ANYTHING made by this man. Sure, he's a Grammy winner, but that doesn't mean he deserves his own brand.

S000 uggo. I feel like this has to be some sort of cat chew toy or something. Maybe there is cat nip in it to attract forest creatures.

Is this the worst shoe in indie?
Do u think tons of swag bros and blipsters will camp out 4 this shoe?
Is this shoe 4 'boring a$$ white ppl' [via boring white ppl music]?
Will u become a cat lady if u buy this shoe?
Do u think his shoe should be built for more rugged terrains [via ruralwave]?
Would u rather wear plastic shopping bags filled with poo than wear these FASHION DISASTER ASS shoes?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver's Justin Vernon was a FASHION DISASTER at Coachella Weekend 2!

PHotos via Brooklyn Vegan

:::::::SIREN NOISES:::::::::::

FREEZE!

You have the right to remain poorly dressed, but anything u wear CAN and WILL be held against u, Bonny BB! Anything you wear or accessorize can and will be held against you in a court of fashion law. You have the right to speak to a stylist. If you cannot afford a non-Midwestern stylist, one will be appointed for you and will be televised on a TLC makeover show. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

Say it isn't so, Justin Vernon, bb! U showed up to Coachella in an weird dot shirt! Oh no! What a blunder!

::ALERT::: :::SIREN NOISES:::

Some1 PLZ call the FASHION POLICE! We have an OFFENDER who should be PUT IN JAIL for the AGGRAVATED ASSAULT of our eyes!

We have a ROBBERY in progress, the assailant was last seen ON STAGE playing Midwestern folk! U shoulda worn a Coachella tank top, bb!

The case is certainly closed, and the jury has spoken, this crime should be PUNISHED by DEATH! What were U THINKING?

We are all innocent until proven guilty, but Justin Vernon's suit is CERTAINLY grounds for a citizen's arrest, trial, and lynching!

I truly have an OBJECTION 2 this suit, ur honor!

:::SIREN NOISES::::

Get on your knees! Put your hands where I can see them! And take off that TERRIBLE shirt!

Oh no, Justin Vernon is truly the ultimate indie fashion disaster of Coachella!

Was Justin Vernon the biggest fashion disaster of the Coachella?
Or is his shirt kinda alt in a Win Butler sorta way?
Did some1 call the fashion police?
Because we DEF have another CRIME AGAINST FASHION
What were U THINKING Bon Iver?
Remember when Bon Iver was a FASHION DISASTER at the Grammys?
PREVIOUSLY: Was Bon Iver the biggest FASHION DISASTER of the Grammys? [via the FASHION POLICE]

Bon Iver plays on Ellen to try to sell albums to lesbian homemakers

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Bon Iver is probably one of the most mainstreamest bands in indie. Even though they are a total snooze, they some how won a Grammy, so now there is this whole perpetual post-album cycle era where they have to capitalize on their opportunity to sell more albums to lamestreamers. This is why they played ELLEN, the daytime tv show hosted by 'the kewlest tweeniest viral-est lesbian in the history of the human race.' I am not sure how Ellen stays motivated to exploit so many memes, and produce web content that goes viral with lamestreamers all the time. I think whenever some1 is a famous tween or meme sensation, she basically enslaves them or something.

Anyways, she pretends she is totally into Bon Iver, even though the only thing she probably listens to at night are the moans of one of her female love slaves as she punishes and pleasures them.

Of course, Justin Vernon does his whole 'aw shucks! Lil ol' me on Ellen!' act, even though he is totally milking the fame, basically addicted to it at this point. So annoying when people don't just sack it up, accept they are mainstreamers, and instead have to act borderline disgraceful. Maybe he just h8s lesbians or something.

Maybe he's just like me, and the look on his face says, "I wonder if Ellen DeGeneres wears a strap-on underneath her pants every day when she goes to work." I truly believe that Ellen would be less popular if more people wondered that.

Is Ellen Degeneres just a viral pyramid scheme?
Is she trying too hard 2 be Oprah?
Do u feel sorry for Bon Iver 4 having 2 play Ellen?
Should Bon Iver just retire?
Do u wish that the Ellen show was just 1 hour of family friendly lesbian x-core?
Did this Bon Iver performance put u 2 sleep?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Was Bon Iver arrested for public intoxication?

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Bon Iver aka Justin Vernon is known as a Grammy award winning mindie artist. But what if I told you that he could kick back a few too many cold ones leading to his arrest. In this video, a man with a beard and an amazing voice sings Queen's hit song "Bohemian Rap." A commoner definitely couldn't hit these notes. It has to be a professional musician.

IS this man Bon Iver?

Do u wish he sang "Brolocene" instead?

Does this look like Bon Iver bro?
Do u think it is him?
Does it sound exactly like his mature, smooth voice?
Did he 'kill it'?
Do u think he was drinking 2 much Bushmills?

[UPDATE: It is not Bon Iver after all according to the internet.]

...but maybe some of us still believe...

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver looks like a hottie hunk on the cover of his new documentary


Oh Bon Iver bro...
I remember back in the day when we used to 'feud'
U said I was mean
and a huge piece of shit [link]

But now we're totally boys!
I love the new documentary cover, bro!
Effing crushing it
KILLING IT

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Who woulda thought
one bro from the Midwest
Living in a cabin
would MORPH
into an EDM legend
collab-ing with Will.i.am
The Black Eyed Peas
Luda

U did it, Bon Iver
U rlly did it.
U r the bridge between HOUSE and URBAN culture
the bridge between whites and blacks

I guess u were right...
NOTHING BUT THE EFFING BEAT

**********
Does Bon Iver look good, bb?
Do u <3 his foray into EDM?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Justice spotted canoodling with Madonna and bronoodling with Bon Iver and Avicii.


Xavier DeRosnay is the lead singer of Justice (aka Jousteece). His band Justice is known for their bloghouse banger hits, but then they took too much time off, released a prog rock record, and by that time EDM had taken off without them and Skrillex basically stole all of their fans.

ANYWAYS, some1 threw Justice a bone because they still wear black leather and have a cross and let them play Ultra. This means that they got to brooodle with relevant alt and mainstream celebs. U have 2 wonder if Xavi is dating Madonna since she is really in2 random ethnic men impregnating her and creating 'halfie' it-girls.

Bon Iver looks pretty swag, too. Just getting EXTRA grabby with Madonna.

Dude, is that Avicii, the bro who wrote the EPIC club anthem "Levels"?

Avicii! LeVeLs, bro... Fuckin' LEVELS!

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LEVELLSSS
FUCKIN LEVELS, BRO

Oh, sometimes
I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

Oh, sometimes
I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

LEVELS, bros!
EFFING LEVELS!

Oh, sometimes
I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

LEVELS! #CRUSHING_IT

Do u think they all listened to LEVELS?
Are Xavi and Madonna 'dating'?
Does Bon Iver look like a chill ass EDM bro?
Do u <3 Joustice or did they ruin their careers?
Whatever happened 2 the banger?
Did u go 2 #ultra and #kill_it?
Do u evr get a good feeling that u never, never, never, never had before, no no?

Justice

DJ, Buzzband

Justice is a popular banger house electro group from France on Ed Banger Records.

Read more>>>>

Avicii

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

AVICII is the bro who wrote the club hit LEVELS and is a member of the EDM community. LEEVEELLLSSS

Lists: EDM, LEVELS
Read more>>>>

Bon Iver KILLS his DJ set at ULTRA, changes the entire game.

Photos via dancingastronaut


DUDE
Bon Iver!
u effing KILLED IT at the Grammys
bringing home a trophy 4 the indie genre

and now u CRUSHED IT
at Ultra Music Festival
U effing DROPPED that bass, bro!

</embed>

Who woulda thunk
A Midwestern man like urself
could capture the heart of the EDM community
and so many ravers from around the world.

Today, you should be proud, Justin Bon Iver Vernon
U have it all
There's nothing u can't do
Always believe.

This is Bon Iver's world.
We're just lucky he lets us live in it.

NAILED IT!
#GAME_CHANGER
GAME OVER

What happened at Ultra stays at effing #Ultra.

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

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Justin Timberlake straight 'makes a bitch outta' Bon Iver on SNL


Bon Iver won a Grammy, and gave one of the worst speeches all time in the history of in the history of indie and mainstream awards acceptance speeches. By 'trying to make a scene' on the Grammy stage, he marginalized his entire existence into a meme, which was then 'mocked' on SNL bc he is officially a part of mainstream culture as 'that crazy, boring guy from the woods.'</embed>

Justin Timberlake is 'desperately trying' 2 be an SNL-funny man, although he should be singing soft R&B songs for white girls 2 cream their panties over. Ever since he played that Napster guy in The Brocial Network, it is clear that he is obsessed with becoming a mnstrm
justin timberlake as bon iver justin vernon

Perhaps Timberlake is attempting to become an indie band, since he is participating in the art of 'Indie Pandering.' I'd expect this type of behavior between two indie bands on twitter, but creating a sign to overcompensate for 'making a bitch' outta him after he brought his snooze waves 2 the stage just a few week ago seemed like he was 'trying 2 hard.'
justin timberlake bon iver sign on SNL
Was this sketch 'effing boring'?
Why is no1 talking abt Beyonce's fake baby?
Are Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler the least funny, yet overhyped female castmembers of all time?
Did Justin Timberlake 'straight bitch' Justin Vernon?
Is Bon Iver 'riding high' after winning a Grammy?
Is Bon Iver part of the mainstream cultural lexicon zeitgeist?
Will they be forced to change their sound to adapt 2 mnstrm masses?
Will Justin Vernon get to 'upgrade' from collab-ing with James Blake level C-rate alt celebs, and now get to bronoodling with Kanye, JT, and Bruce Hornsby?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Was Bon Iver's Grammy acceptance speech a disgrace 2 the indie community?


Bon Iver's Grammy speech will be analyzed as one of the most pretentious displays of indie elitism as portrayed to the mainstream masses in the history of the music industry. Bon Iver won a mainstream award, and decided to 'stay alt', prancing up on stage in his FASHION DISASTER outfit, offering contradictory points that celebrated his own authenticity, the authenticity of artists who would never get mnstrm praise, and the mnstrm artists who are 'actually' talented. Understandably, Bon Iver hunky frontman Justin Vernon was nervous... but u have to wonder if he should have pulled it together for the sake of indie. This was his moment to promote specific buzzbands, cool blogs like NPR.blogspot.com, and improve vibes in a broken indie scene that has resorted to tabloid journalism.

Instead, we're left wondering if Bon Iver came across like a 'lost man from the woods' who stumbled on 2 the Grammy Stage. He was sorta 'ashamed', like 'I don't belong in this world', offering an apologetic speech to the mainstream audiences, but also the crappy buzzbands who he outbuzzed to mnstrm success.

U did it, Bon Iver. U won indie this year.
Somewhere in Canada, Win Butler threw his Grammy trophy thru his 140 inch plasma screen HDTV.
Bon Iver is the King of Indie, and can get handjobs from entry level alts in any scene that he wishes.
He has it all.

U did it, Bonny Bear, bb! U are the definitive sound of 2k11.
Don't look so ashamed 2 win! U earned it! BB ur a firework...cmon let ur colours burst, bb!

Did he tank in his speech?
Do u know what the eff he was even talking abt?
Was he 'confused'?
Should he have planned on winning, and practiced his speech in front of the mirror a few times?
Did he 'nail' his speech?
Does he seem 'proud' 2 win, or 'ashamed' like he is apologizing?
Was this the worst Grammy Acceptance speech of all time?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Other dudes from Bon Iver mad at Bon Iver for hogging the spotlight at Grammys.


Bon Iver: I won!
Bon Iver: No bro. We won.
Bon Iver: Who the hell are u guys?
Bon Iver: We're Bon Iver.
Bon Iver: I thought I was Bon Iver.
Bon Iver: Dude, cmon bro. We're in this, too.
Bon Iver: I srsly invented Bon Iver, though.
Bon Iver: No u didn't bro.
Bon Iver: I don't even know who I am any more.
Bon Iver: Is Bon Iver my name or the name of a band or what?
Bon Iver: I'm not sure, I'm really confused. I think it is the whole band, and your name is Justin Vernon, but people call you Bon Iver.
Bon Iver: This is sorta like the film 'Adaptation' or 'Being Jon Malkovich' or something like that.
Bon Iver: Kinda existential vibes.
Bon Iver: I'll be sure to thank u guys on the stage.
Bon Iver: We'll join you on the stage.
Bon Iver: But I'm Bon Iver.
Bon Iver: So Am I.
Bon Iver: If u rlly think about it, maybe we're all Bon Iver.
Bon Iver: No, but seriously, is Bon Iver just one person or an entire band?
Bon Iver: I'm pretty sure that Bon Iver is a dude, but also a band named after the guy, or something. Sorta like how the Beatles were named after Paul Beatle, or Van Halen, or something like that.
Bon Iver: Let's agree to disagree, and start over as "Bonny Bear."
Bonny Bear:Hashtag Deal!

Do yall know if Bon Iver is just 1 person or an entire band?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bonny Bear

Alternative Celebrity, Meme

Bonny Bear is the winner of the 2012 Best New Artist Grammy Award.

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Bon Iver thinks his Grammy trophies are made of chocolate, tries 2 eat them

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Bonny Bear! U look good, bb!

I would LOVE to spend time with u at ur cabin one weekend while u play me songs on ur guitar. That would honestly be the most beautiful ever, but I HATE cabins because they don't have TVs or the internet then I feel like a lost crazy woman. :-(

Don't eat ur Grammy, bb! It's not made of chocolate! I love LOVE LOVE chocolate bunnies, not just because I LOVE bunnies, but because they are fake, and made of chocolate, and u don't have to feel bad about a bunny dying when u eat it.

I LIVE 4 U, Justin BB Bon Iver!
Ur an INDIE HUNK. Do NOT listen to the HATERS who say that u were a FASHION DISASTER. I think that u look as HOT as my American History teacher. Unfortunately, I flunked that course because there were no Edward Norton HOTTIES teaching it, like in the movie American History X. One of my exes actually had the same tattoo as Ed Norton in that movie, but he dumped me when he found out that I had foreigner blood in me.

U look good, Justin BB!
Don't break ur teeth. As some one whose teeth are rotting away, TRUST ME, it's expensive to have fake teeth put in, unless u go on a weekend trip 2 Mexico. Even if u do eat them, u will regret not having them when they are worth a lot of money in 10 years. As some one who had a weird habit of eating pogs, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life to eat all of those, not just for the sustainable health of my digestive tract, but because of their resale value. #pogs

Arcade Fires who? #TeamBonIver
Bon Iver who? #TeamBonnyBear

Was Bon Iver the biggest FASHION DISASTER of the Grammys? [via the FASHION POLICE]


You have the right to remain poorly dressed, but anything u wear CAN and WILL be held against u, Bonny BB! Anything you wear or accessorize can and will be held against you in a court of fashion law. You have the right to speak to a stylist. If you cannot afford a non-Midwestern stylist, one will be appointed for you and will be televised on a TLC makeover show. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

Say it isn't so, Justin Vernon, bb! U showed up to the Grammys in an organic hemp thrift store suit! Oh no! What a blunder!

::ALERT::: :::SIREN NOISES:::

Some1 PLZ call the FASHION POLICE! We have an OFFENDED who should be PUT IN JAIL for the AGGRAVATED ASSAULT of our eyes!

We have a ROBBERY in progress, the assailant was last seen ON STAGE holding a Grammy trophy wearing a green suit!

The case is certainly closed, and the jury has spoken, this crime should be PUNISHED by DEATH!

We are all innocent until proven guilty, but Justin Vernon's suit is CERTAINLY grounds for a citizen's arrest, trial, and lynching!

I truly have an OBJECTION 2 this suit, ur honor!

:::SIREN NOISES::::

Get on your knees! Put your hands where I can see them! And take off that TERRIBLE suit!

Oh no, Justin Vernon is truly the ultimate indie fashion disaster of the night!

Black tie, bb! Black tie!

Was Justin Vernon the biggest fashion disaster of the nite?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bonny Bear

Alternative Celebrity, Meme

Bonny Bear is the winner of the 2012 Best New Artist Grammy Award.

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Bon Iver's hunky frontman Justin Vernon commits FASHION DISASTER on Grammy red carpet


Justin BB! Oh no! What were u thinking? Ur the frontman of Bon Iver, NOT a member of the Black Eyed Peas!

ALERT! ALERT! :::SIREN NOISES:::: some1 call the #FASHION POLICE, bb! We have a first degree fashion offender! This is TRULY a disaster, as u try to transition from Midwest Hunk to Mainstream Personal Brand who the entire world knows.

A sequined jacket and matching shoes??!? BB... No... Plz... Make it stop, JustinBB! Ur making me feel like I NEVER want to canoodle with u in a Beth&Restfest, nor do I EVER want to be seen in our local relevant HoloScene 2gthr!

Oh BonBB! I truly hope u get it 2gthr. Although u won a Grammy for Best Alternative Album, u REALLY need a makeover! Let's stop by Express Men on the way home! We can get some gear with tight ass dragons on it, or something like that. <3 <3 <3

Live 4 u, Justin Vernon bb!
Congrats on ur BIG Grammy win!
Even if ur a fashion disaster, ur still an INDIE HUNK underneath it all!

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver's Justin Vernon apologizes 2 Carles. Has he won the first battle against the Corrupt Indie Machine?


We fight against the Corrupt Indie Machine 4 u.

This week, a battle was launched against Carles by Justin Vernon. He stood against Independent Indie Media. He stood against The Indie Truth. He stood against indie free speech and the Progressive Alt Blogosphere.

Many speculated that he was a part of the Corrupt Indie Machine.

Perhaps he has seen the light, taking to #Twitter to issue a formal apology 2 Carles. He said, "sorry CRLS."

In the fight against the Corrupt Indie Machine, maybe we should all be sorry. Sorry 4 letting our indie society come 2 this.

Should Carles have apologized 2 Bron Iver?
Is Carles just 'milking this meme 4 hits'?
Is Carles 'a complete effing ass hole' who is 'self-obsessed' and only cares abt promoting the brand of his slow loading blog?
Who are the winners and losers of the Bon Iver Vs Carles battle?
How can we win the war against the Corrupt Indie Machine?
Is Bon Iver 'actually a chill bro' or a harshly vibed bro, taking to Twitter 2 voice too many of his dark thoughts?
Which indie artists should be banned from Twitter by their publicists?
Do u <3 the new era of 'indie journalism' where blogs basically just over-analyze minuscule, unimportant tweets that are actually just the irrelevant, passive thoughts of artists who are bored?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Carles

Meme, Blog, Alternative Celebrity

Carles is the popular blogger from the popular internet website HIPSTER RUNOFF.

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Corrupt Indie Machine

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Event, Company, Meme

The Corrupt Indie Machine is a massive conspiracy between the Indie Media, Blogs, Buzzbands, Buzz Humans and (Major and Indie) Labels to produce and farm inauthentic, inorganic, artificial buzz.

Lists:
Read more>>>>

Lance Armstrong supports Bon Iver against Carles & other anonymous cowards


The war of Twitter words between Carles and Bon Iver continues, but now, famous indie celebrity Justin Vernon has acquired the support of Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong. It seems as though Carles has truly been backed into a lonely corner of the internet against the fame and power of celebrities like Justin Vernon and Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong is an Austin resident and long-time fan of indie music, particularly in the cool dad genre. Armstrong is actually probably one of the coolest dads in the world, though--not just some dad with a leather interior-ed car listening to NRR-wave rock.

Lance Armstrong himself has been the victim of baseless claims of doping by many anonymous cowards, and can identify with Justin Vernon's crusade against hate in the blogosphere.

This is a dark moment for Carles, who is on record as a Lance Armstrong supporter and avid cycling fan, even contributing an Article during last year's Tour De France [link]. particularly against long time rivals Alberto Contador. Carles has followed Lance Armstrong's post-cancer cycling career and has drawn great inspiration from his time on US Postal Service, Discovery Channel, Astana, and Radio Shack. Not only is Carles a supporter of Lance Armstrong as an American cyclist, but also other Americans like George Hincapie, Levi Leipheimer, and David Zabriskie. Carles is also a supporter of the LIVESTRONG foundation, as some of his closest friends and family members have fought against cancer.

Carles still remains an Armstrong and LIVESTRONG supporter and fan, despite Vernon showcasing the reach of his mainstream indie power and connections.

It seems as if the entire world is turning on HIPSTER RUNOFF. Will Carles continue to fight against the corrupt indie media, labels, and gladhanding alternative celebrities?

This is truly a turning point for the entire indiesphere, where we all must ask ourselves HOW IS THE BUZZ REALLY MADE? Are the words we read, mp3s we stream, and music videos that we embed safe for consumption, or have they been artificially tainted by corrupt buzz?

Is Carles 'over'?
Is this the beginning of the end?
Is Carles a coward, hiding behind 'anonymity'?
Is the indie media 'turning' / abandoning HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is this a 'non-story' / 'just an example of how blogs are desperate to farm any content that involves entities that drive page views'?
Or has the indie media proven that they are on #TeamBonIver by not 'covering' this important moment in Indie Free Speech?

Why can't we all just farm and produce organic, authentic buzz together?
Because it is CHEAPER for the CORRUPT indie media to farm it at low-cost prices with CHEAP LABOR writers and bloggers.

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Carles

Meme, Blog, Alternative Celebrity

Carles is the popular blogger from the popular internet website HIPSTER RUNOFF.

Read more>>>>

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Meme, DJ, Company, Buzzband, Blog, Alternative Celebrity

HIPSTER RUNOFF is a blog worth blogging abt, created by Carles that is trying 2 stay relevant. It blogs abt buzzbands, alt stuff, relevant topics, the end of the social web, and more.

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Bon Iver's PISSED OFF frontman Justin Vernon LASHES OUT at HIPSTER RUNOFF over critical coverage


Bon Iver is a tenured indie buzzband who brought the soothing sounds of a lonely man in the pure rural American vibes to the mainstream, recently earning a Grammy nomination for his contribution to the arts and mindie scene. He is at the mainstream indie mountain top, mad record sales, critical buzz, truly on top of the world. You have to remember that Bon Iver was buzz incubated in a time when there was 'no internet h8', and instead of creating backlash to generate buzz, you just had to release decent MP3s and promote your local scene. The entire indie game is changing so quickly that sometimes it is hard to keep up with the modern backlash-wave-indie-celebrity-driven-zeitgeist.

Recently, in the spirit of a true alt, Justin Vernon is on record as saying 'Eff the Grammies, man!'

It seems as though today, he is saying 'Eff you' to another very important cultural institution: The popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF and the blogger/mastermind behind it all named 'Carles.' After a recap post about the band's performance on SNL entitled 'Bon Iver sounds like dying indie rock on SNL, has mysterious HUGE black teenager in backing band, Vernon took to his passionate Twitter account to #slutshame Carles. Previously, Carles blogged about his fitness regimen, highlighting his dedication to health and fitness [link]. We are not sure what Justin Vernon (commonly referred to as Bon Ivbro) has taken issue with.

However, he has gone on record, calling HIPSTER RUNOFF basically 'the scum of the Earth.' Right now, the entire indie blogosphere has been muddied by TABLOID JOURNALISM, especially after the rise of Lana Del Rey. Even the most established indie sites and blogs are lost, searching for an authentic editorial voice in the face of booming SEO results and ANGRY readers. While some blogs will continue to use their weak editorial voice to write 'lukewarm praise' of any embeddable content made by a widely known indie celeb, Carles MUST be celebrated for his position as the Last Authentic Content Farmer Standing. Recently, the New York Times and the New Yorker celebrated The Passion of the Carles.

Others claim that Carles is dedicated to eternally belittling the artistic intentions of every one, attempting to cheapen real people who are 'trying to do something that helps the world.' They fear that he has evolved into the last indie gatekeeper, creating the (usually artificial) narrative that could either MAKE or BREAK a buzzband OR buzz human's entire career. The truth is, Carles might be the dead end of overvalued cultural commentators who have no authority to pass any judgment on anything, but still write words that sound important and sometimes impact 'reality.'

The truth is, Carles has given so much to the indie scene, and for buzzbands to GANG UP on him 2 cyberbully could lead to a backlash against said bands. If we take a step back from the situation, we are all just staring at the impending indie apocalypse straight in the face. Sometimes it is important to ask yourself: Are you a part of the problem, or are you a part of the solution? After everything that Carles has done for the indie scene on a day-to-day basis, some say that Vernon has crossed the line and needs to do a wider examination of the state of Buzz. On the other hand, many are calling for the head of Carles. It is only a matter of time before Indie's Last Battle results in the death of all of us.

Justin Vernon could not be reached for comment. He is rumored to be watching the film 'Gettysburg' on a sweet home entertainment system.

R u on #TeamBonIver or #TeamCarles?
Was it mean of Bon Iver to LASH OUT at Carles like this?
Has Carles 'crossed the line'?
Is Bon Iver 'just another buzz human who hates Carles'? [via growing list]
Will the NPR cool dads who vibe to Bon Iver 'boycott' reading HRO, or are they already on lame content farms anyways?
Is Bon Iver 'in pain'?
Is this just a 'generational disconnect issue'?
Is this the beginning of the end of HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Will Bon Iver lead a campaign 2 put HRO out of biz?
Does Bon Iver have 'rose colored glasses on' when he visits the blogosphere, expecting every blogpost to have the same loving tone as a local news puff piece?

Who is 'right' and who is 'wrong'?
Does Carles TOTALLY FUCKING SUCK?
In a way, do we all totally effing suck bc we are buzz humans trapped on the internet reading abt buzz humans?
Why can't we all just ride chillwaves 2gthr?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver sounds like dying indie rock on SNL, has mysterious HUGE black teenager in backing band


Bon Iver played on SNL, but no1 watched, and no1 really cared because he didn't tank like #LDR. I guess he is nominated for Grammys, or something, but that's only because the Grammys will now have '1 white man indie rock slot' per year in the post-Arcade-Fire era. I wouldn't even recommend watching these videos. Bon Iver just represents how 'the indie scene' is getting older and boring, and most blogs are 'stuck' posting this garbage because cool dads have to waste time during the day at their jobs that make them $50-90k/year. Roughly 5% of their annual income goes towards investment in 'culture', which includes purchasing music.</embed>

While no1 cares abt Bon Iver's performance, America is left wondering 'who is the black dude in Bon Iver'?

Perhaps Bon Iver is not an indie band, but instead, some sort of movie about a teacher who teaches a group of innercity kids about how indie rock can save them from 'the streets'. Sorta like a mix between 'Mr. Holland's Opus' and 'Stand and Deliver' and 'Coach Carter' and 'Dangerous Minds.'

Does n e 1 know if Bon Iver is 'just 1 person' or 'a whole band'? Maybe it is like the Dave Matthews Band where they all take 1 guy's name and then play honky jam chime rock?

Do u feel bad for any website that ranked Bon Iver in their 2k11 Top 10?
Is their music 'beautiful'?
Who is the black guy in Bon Iver?
Is he Bon Iver?
Do u wish that u were saved from ur innercity community with the power of indie rock?
Are we living in the post-LDR era of indie where some1 has to 'go out of their way to shock us' to get our attention or else we don't care even if it is a deece performance?
Did Bon Iver 'kill it', or did they just look like random ass dudes from the woods who 'made it to the big time'?
Do u ever cry at night and listen to 'Holocene'?
Is Justin Vernon a HOTTIE HUNK BB?
Are the sounds of Bon Iver the sounds of dying indie rock?

Here is their song "Midwestern Bed'N'Breakfast' or something.
</embed>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Skrillex is melting in an ad for the Grammys. Don't melt, bb!

skrillex grammys red carpet
Skrillex BB!
Don't melt!
I need u!
Ur the Prince of Dubstep.

Think abt all the things u have left 2 do after u win a Grammy
U r responsible for the future of electronic music
In the words of Lana Del Rey...
"It's U, It's U, It's All 4 U..."

Maybe ur dubvibes are just 2 cray 2 be captured on film.
We rlly can't have u melting
I remember that 1 time Daft Punk melted in that movie 'Electroma'
Not sure what happened 2 them afterwards

</embed>

I am cool with Bon Iver melting, though.
bon iver grammy ad red carpet

R u pumped for the Grammys?
R u worried abt buzzbands, humans, and DJs melting?
Are Grammys for lamestream masses and entry-level bloggers 2 complain abt snubs?
Will Skrillex get more Grammys than Bon Iver?
R u ready 4 dubstep's big night?

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver wears a dank tween Bieber hoodie on the cover of some magazine

bon iver under the radar magazine cover
From what I understand, there are businesses out there that exist just to put indie bands on their magazine covers. I noticed that cool dad-NPRwave 2k11 sensation Bon Iver was on the cover of some magazine called Under the Radar Magazine. He is wearing some sort of 'dank weed hoodie', probably because tweens wear hoodies, and he is trying to breakthru into new demographics by seeming 'younger', 'fresher', and 'swagger.' Probably trying to steal fans from Incubus, those dudebros who just wanna existentially dank vibe out and vibe and think abt the universe and be all like 'swaggy whoa brah, I'm thinking abt shit, yo and this music mellows me the eff out, sliggas!"

This is a massive moment for the future of Bon Iver's brand.

It seems like a chill ass marijuana leaf. I sorta wanna start vibing out in dank hoodies. Will probably go with this 1, though....

Does Bon Iver look 'mad swag'?
Does he even know how 2 turn his swag off?
Where can u get a sweet DANK hoodie?
Does this mean Bon Iver is trying to be a stoner bro?
Do u get depressed dank and listen 2 Bon Iver?
All day u dream abt gras?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bon Iver wears dad khakis to appeal to his NPR-wave fans


2k11 has been suffering from the worst buzz drought in the history of the indiesphere. Such a drought that Bon Iver's snooze-wave album accidentally became 'critically acclaimed', but it was mainly because of the implosion of the sub-prime mortgage buzz loan vibes in ruralwave albums/artists. Although Bon Iver has vintage indie 'cred', his latest snoozefest post-kanye collab was way overvalued, and now confused outlets like NPR 'accidentally thought it was actually good'.

Anyways, he was spotted wearing dad khakis. Not really cool dad vibes, more of a comfy dad, going to his chill middle-management job. Maybe putting on a bit of weight, going for a size 36-38 dockers pleated khakis type of vibe. He seems comfortable, versatile. Ready to go from the office to his kids' soccer game. This is clearly a shameless attempt to appeal to NPR-wave fans who also wear khakis while driving home from work searching for buzz album recommendations and feeling 'cultured' bc they listen to humans with soothing voices and/or foreign accents saying stuff that sounds 'progressive and insightful' but is actually just mid-market liberal propaganda.

Do u vibe out on khakis?
Does Bonny look chill?
Do u like pleats in ur pants?

Are khakis for cool dads or uncool dads?
R u gonna vibe out in some khakis?
What's ur fave khaki brand?
Are khakis a new relevant alt trend [via replacing skinnie jeans]?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>
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