American Apparel | Hipster Runoff

American Apparel

Is Retail Terrorism the Future of Alt Consumerism?

I recently read a story about a group of 50 bros dressed in all black who 'caused mayhem' on some street, then threw some rocks/beat in the windows of an American Apparel store. This indicates that 'retail terrorism' might be recycled into a relevant alt trend.  I feel scared because I was sorta getting behind the concept of buying stuff from trusted brands to express who I am. Like the concept of 'consumerism' has sort of become 'chill' these days, as opposed to something that we are supposed 2 h8.

Recently, another bro crashed a small airplane into an Internal Revenue Service building in Austin, Texas.

It seemed like he was sort of trying to promote a similar brand, like 'money is bullshit' or something, or maybe that 'the government enables this bull shit society in which we are trapped.'

I feel shaken up by these recent acts of consumer + retail terrorism, like the idea of being anti-government + anti-consumerism is 'back', and I might have to ride that wave in order to be considered an 'interesting person with a relevant opinion.' I like the way things are now, where I just have to keep up to date on buzzbands to be interesting. I think being a self-aware American is fun and chill, since we sort of just get to 'cope' with other ppl abt how we are trapped, but then just watch viral videos and forget about it.

Worried I might have to 'backpack bomb' a local suburban mall or something in order to be alt + authentic.

Sorta wonder if the post-1990s vibe of 'Fight Club' is 'coming back.' Like we 'hate consumerism', and we need to perform snarky acts of chill / metaphorical terrorism to free ourselves'. Miss u Project Mayhem / Fight Club.


Did Fight Club help us 2 become more authentic consumers, or did it 'set back the anti-consumerism' movement 20 years?
Seems like formative alternative bros probably chilled with Fight Club posters in their rooms. Miss u Ed Norton + Brad Pitt.

Sorta miss the days Ed Norton's career when he was 'budding into a relevant alt actor' and it was 'kewl' to say he was ur fave actor. I remember in American History X when he committed an act of retail terrorism against a local market that was hiring illegal immigrant workers.


I feel confused, since terrorism is 'violence', but maybe 'standing up for something' in the real world will become a more popular trend. There will be backlash against 'cowards who only exist on blogs / the comment forms of blogs.'

Is 'retail' bullshit?
Is eCommerce the future/the past?
Should we blow up all of the credit card company buildings across the world?
Should we start regional Fight Clubs with our bros?

If u had a relevant chain of branded clothes + apparel, what type of mall would u put it in? Maybe a safe indoor mall.

Maybe outdoor malls with security guards seem 'safe', since they are tucked away in suburbia

do yall trust 'mall cops' 2 protect ur merch, or is retail inventory 'so cheap' that it doesn't even matter?

R u gonna keep buying stuff from retail outlets or commit metaphorical terrorist acts on them?
Should Am Appy use more animal fur to attract a new demographic of protesters?
How can I perform an act of 'retail terrorism' on
Should I get a summer job at Hot Topic, then set it on fire?
As tweens grow into their teen years, will they experience a consumer backlash against Jonas Brotherian/Hannah Montanian ideals which they once 'bought in to'?
Will Brad Pitt's most memorable role always be _________?

Getting ‘hornie’ viewing Am Appy’s latest gimmick searching for the Best Alternative Ass.

I was browsing the popular alternative brand American Apparel's website, and saw that they had a social media gimmick, probably meant to drive traffic to their site, strengthen their brand, and inspire sales. They seem to have built a web tool that searches for the best alternative ass/bottom.
It seems like 'social media/community building' is truly the future, as we have seen by the facebook, myspace, and twitter. The website features 'complete functionality' for a 'rich user experience.' User submission, progressive commenting features, ass rating scale, and an excellent user interface. I think the goal of the site is to 'turn u on' and 'get mad hits' from the hornball demographic.

I am not sure if this site is something that women will browse. From what I understand, when women gain weight, it goes 'straight to their thighs + ass.' It might inspire young alts to make sure their ass stays in perfect shape, but older alts who are gaining weight/past their prime might feel insecure and defect from the brand. Not sure if they would showcase their 'cottage cheese' bottoms on this site, unless Am Appy meets the demand for aging alts by creating a 'plus size' site.

What is ur ass like?
What do u look for in the perfect alternative ass?

Here is relevant commentary on some of the most notable bottoms displayed on this American Apparel social media experience.

'Dear Lord. Let me see that tong-ta-tong-thong-tlong.'

Always wanted a cute alt ass in an Am Appy onesie.

Always had an Am Appy knee-high sock fantasy.

Feels good to be closer to my Afrikaan Fantasy.

I think this broad is 'cheating' because she is trying to showcase her luscious vagina lips.

Wonder if 'butt cleavage' is going to re-emerge as a relevant alternative trend.

[via the joke 'I'd got something I'd love to drop in that coin slot.']

Not sure if this is 'progressive underwear' or just a 'wardrobe malfunction.'

Wonder why the 'lil twink asses' are getting such low ratings.

What was ur fave ass?
What is the best type of Am Appy underwear?
Have American Apparel briefs 'gone tweenstream'?
Are thongs still 'relevant'?
Are g-strings the new alt underwear?
R u an 'ass man' or a 'tit man'?

Do u think this gimmick will help Am Appy's brand, or will they turn into a 'hipster porn site'?
Have u ever pleasured urself while looking at the Am Appy website?
Wonder if the search for the perfect alternative ass will replace the search for the perfect alternative breasts?

Explore the alt ass website

Is Target 'ripping off' American Apparel?

I was recently shopping for some miscellaneous items at my local Target store, and I walked through the 'clothes' section to see if there were any 'sweet buys' that I could find that 'didn't look like they were from Target.' It's always rewarding to 'get compliments' about elements of my wardrobe, since I am a rlly trendy person, and then 'surprise' people by telling them that I 'got it for cheap at a relatively mainstream outlet.'  Then I made 'the ultimate discovery' that might turn the entire alternative world upside down.

Photo via flickruser

It seems like the display rack in Target looks 'a whole lot like' the display racks in American Apparel. Like the products are 'complete rip offs' or something.  At first I was excited, since I thought I would get a ton of Am-Appy-ish materials 'on the cheap' but then I started to wonder if these knock-offs would enable me to achieve the same brand goals.  Not sure if I would be able to 'lie' to myself, kinda like women who use fake purses.  Not sure if the $5-$10 prices would be worth paying if they weren't officially amAppy.

Can't believe Target 'totally ripped off' Am Appy. Wonder what they are trying 2 do.

I feel like Am Appy owns the 'design rights' to this aesthetic, and probs deserve to sue any1 who rips them off. They are responsible for branding this aesthetic as 'kewl.'

Maybe Target decided to 'rip off' the Am Appy clothing aesthetic in order to 'get back at them for 'stealing their logo aesthetic.'

I did some internet research and found out that Target was founded in 1902. American Apparel was founded in 1989. I feel 'very surprised' by that fact, since I have only known about Am Appy for a few years (I first found out about them when they moved into my suburban market mall.) It is interesting that they both have similar logos that rely on 'the power of Helvetica' to get across their store's aesthetic. It seems like Am Appy might have 'ripped off' the Target logo by using Helvetty/Arial as their font.

Yall can probably notice the similarities in the store logos.

Seems like most 'everything' stores are trying to appeal to alts. Or maybe alternative aesthetics have 'taken over', and they are trying to enable the poors to wear solid coloured shirts. Maybe poor people will no longer think that they need 'branded logos' + scribbly shit [via Ed Hardy] on their t-shirts to make them look like they are rich/fit-in.

Just don't know what belongs to who, and what type of 'intellectual design property' can really be owned. I feel like the Font Industry and the Music Industry are really similar. I think I expect to utilize fonts for free, much like I expect to listen to music for free. The person who creates a font is looking to 'go mainstream' by 'getting included' on tons of personal computing machines. This is the same thing that buzzbands need to try to accomplish. Fonts + Music can't really 'change the world' but they can definitely be an under-appreciated element of ur every day life.

Bands need to create files that make it on to as many computers as possible. MP3s, JPGs, MOVs, FLVs, PDFs, EXEs, DMGs, and any other type of file known to man. Buzzbands need to 'make it' on to pplz computers.

Having a huge crisis.

Do u think that Target will get sued by Am Appy?
Do u think Am Appy will get sued by Target?
Do u still think Am Appy is a 'relevant brand'?
Is there a new Alt brand?
Should I be a font designer, or should I start a buzzband?
How does the law decide 'who owns a font'/font-based logo?

Previous Target Coverage

Should I start a business utilizing only Am Appy's latest product 'the bag-o-scraps'?

via am appy store

I was browsing the Am Appy store, and I found a kewl new product called 'the bag o scraps.' I think that the concept behind the product is that you can 'create your own meaningful arts and crafts' using Am Appy material/the exclusive Am Appy colour/design palette. Like if you can't afford a real Am Appy t-shirt, you could glue together these scraps to make ur own unique one. Or if you are a free-spirited girl, u can 'let ur imagination run wild' while creating some thing 'beautiful' with the bag-o-scraps.

It seems hard to run a clothing manufacturing company, like there is all of this 'extra shit' left over, but u don't really know what to do with it. Then u hire some 'alternative arts+crafts consultants' to come in with some 'fresh ideas' about how you can brand this waste. Seems like u are just 'jonesing 4 money' in anyway possible, trying to 'liquidate inventory' and 'reduce the bottom line' by 'creating brand synergy' and 'manufacturing efficiencies' while keeping 'fixed costs at a minimum' and creating a 'progressive business culture' where 'ideas are incubated' and ur 'vertically integrated corporate structure' is able to 'make huge margins.'

The bag-o-scraps sorta reminds me of how barbecue restaurants invented a product that is a sandwich made out of the leftovers from beef scraps and the leftover meats that have a 'high fat content.'

The Chopped Beef BBQ sandwich is made up from the scraps and leftover fat cuttings from the 'premium beef products.' They are able to mix all of this 3rd class waste with barbecue sauce, and sell it like it is a 'special recipe', but the people who eat it are actually 'eating pig slop.' It seems important to only eat 'white meat' and possibly red meat that has a 'reasonable fat content.' But I think in America, ppl like to eat unhealthy stuff, and take pride in it.

(What is ur fave kind of BBQ?)

It seems difficult to run a business efficiently. I feel like ideally, there would be no 'leftover scraps' to salvage. But maybe the bag-o-scraps is sorta a lesson about life. Not everything is going to be a perfectly tailored t-shirt in a unique colour sold at an above-market price because ur buying a 'quality brand.' Sometimes u have to take what life gives you--a bag-o-scraps-- and turn it into something beautiful. Maybe life is just a bag-o-scraps, and the individual scraps are the people/mp3s/blogsites/social networks/tweets that make U who U R as an individual.

Might buy a bag-o-scraps and open up an etsy store/ebay thrift store. Seems lucrative. Might open a BBQ restaurant.

'Matter can neither be created nor destroyed. It may be rearranged in space, and changed into different types of particles, and utilized to create meaningful arts, crafts, and branded products.'
-God when creating the Bag O Scraps

Previous Am Appy Coverage

[Kanye West Shops at Am Appy] [Am Appy Swine Flu Mask] [Am Appy Black Guy Employee] [Product Packaging Analysis] [Am Appy undies with cock pic] [Afrikaan products at am appy] [Am Appy Products that are easy 2 <3/h8]

Do u have n e good ideas 4 making shit with the 'bag o scraps'?
Do u know if Am Appy cloth is 'the same as a condom' if u wrap it around ur penis and penetrate ur lover?
Does n e 1 know where I can buy Hollistercrombie bags-o-scraps?

Is Calvin Klein the new Am Appy?

Photo via gothamist via flickr

Since I am moving to NYC after this summer to go to design school, I have started to read NYC-centric blogs to sort of 'put my finger on the pulse' of what real New Yorkers read and see on a daily basis. I couldn't help but notice this huge Calvin Klein ad with 4 ppl in some sort of 'orgy.' It seems hot, and sexual. It reminds me of the feeling of when my 'penis becomes erect' while I am wearing jeans. I think that is what 'advertising'/'marketing' is all about--"SEX SELLS."

Seems intense to have a 4some with a 3-to-1 boy-girl ratio. I would hope that I could be the one 'doing the penetration.' Then there is the bro who 'awkwardly walks over and tries to position himself to 'get a blowjie.' Then there is 'extra bro' who is on the floor 'tugging off', hopefully getting his chance to 'be inside' of the girl eventually. Have yall ever had 3somes? Is it awkward when 1 of your bros is involved? Have u ever 'crossed swords'?

Sort of worried about Am Appy's brand. I read on a design blog that they 'made an official flag.' Think that this means that they might secede from America [via Civil War].

Photo via PSFK

Not sure if this flag is 'still sexual.' Sorta wish it was a picture of a real broad, or something, maybe with her areolas exposed. Not sure if this is the kind of flag that I would want to 'put on the moon.' Can't believe they have an official flag.

What do yall think of these branding choices?
Do yall think that sexual advertisements are bad 4 society?
Do u think it is natural to 'get aroused' when u see a sexie ad?
Have u ever 'made love' 2 more than 1 person at the same time?
Are Calvin Klein jeans 'the new skinny jeans'?

Just saw Kanye West shopping at Am Appy.

Photo via Am Appy Daily Update

Can't believe Kanye West shops at Am Appy. Not sure if this makes me want to wear it more/less. Not sure if this means that American Apparel is meant for people of all races, or that they are trying to be some sort of upscale blipster brand. Feeling very confused, like I want to burn all of my Am Appy/try to think of new conversion projects.

When I see Kanye looking at Am Appy shirts, it seems like he is saying that he could design them better than Dovathan Charney. It seems like he 'likes the aesthetic' but would probably 'tweak that shit' to make it more 'epic' somehow.

Can't believe he brought 'his skank ass girlfriend' with him. Wonder if her curvie figure can even fit in2 Am Appy. Feel like I might need to find a new brand. Has any1 heard of Anthropologie / Hollister / Ammy Eagle?

would have guessed that Kanye was 'above' generic retail bullshit. Guess he's just trying to chill. Apparently he bought 2 hoodies & sunglasses. Seems like a sillie purchase, since summer is coming up.

I remember Kanye West had a song on his first album where he talked about being a black dude who worked at the Gap. He rapped about 'murdering his boss' and 'smoking blunts at work.' He was just a disenfranchised black bro, still hungry to 'transcend society.' Now that he is 'famous' I feel like his content is 'totally different', and he just sort of sings about 'generic hip hop greatness.'


Feels weird that Kanye West used to have a 'different image.' Wonder if he was still 'demented' back then. Feels weird to 'look back' on 'rappers who we thought were going to be different than every other rapper', but eventually all 'hip hop stars' turn in2 the same thing.

I remember when Kanye's signature gimmick [via 1st album] was a 'dejected bear.'

Seems like maybe he was 'less cultured' back then, and this was 'all he could think of.' Back before he met the Ed Banger crew/ traveled to France / started 'blogging' / 'going 2 fashion shows' / becoming an 'artist.'

Can ppl change, or are they always the same?

Meme that we must nvr 4gt

Name that Alt celeb lookalike (Laptop DJ Edition)

Photo by thecobrasnake

Yall. Saw this picture of some bro. Thought he looked a lot like 1 of my favourite DJs...


  • He is not AZN.
  • He wasn't on That 70's Show
  • He seems like a chill bro
  • He invented 'mashups.'
  • His favourite baseball team is the Pittsburgh Phillies.
  • He will play 'crunk-ass' parties on college campuses for the next 4-30 years.
  • He 'stole' Radiohead's 'pay what u want' model 4 his most recent album
  • Ppl who 'still see him' are usually under the age of 19 / 16 / 8.
  • He's a "P.C."
  • He starred in the film Honey I Shrunk the Kidz, yall!
  • He works in a factory that creates 'Free AOL' cds.
  • Pitchfork gave his latest mixtape a 100 stars
  • he has a party picture website that gets 1million hits per day

Who do yall think he is?

Girl Talk

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Girl Talk is a laptop DJ who got big in the bloghouse era but really just produces generic, well-branded mix tapes.

Read more>>>>

Looking 4 something that will protect me from Swine Flu [via American Apparel]

Yall. Feeling paranoid about 'germs' and 'catching the swine flu.' I have heard that if I wash my hands once every hour, I won't get swine flu. It is also essential to have some sort of mask that filters out germs.

Do yall think this mask might work? Do u think the moustache can filter out all of the bad germs?

Or should I actually buy a protective mask from Am Appy? Not sure which colour I want.

screenshot via the Am Appy Store

Can't believe Am Appy is actually selling protective gear. Feel like I might actually 'start taking the swine flu' more seriously.

Just want to protect myself without compromising my fashion sense. Might just buy a 'pakistani scarf' to cover my mask.

Does n e 1 have any tips for avoiding swine flu?
Does n e 1 know any other signature Am Appy / Urban Outfitters / H&M styles that might help 2 protect me from catching 'pig fever' without 'looking like a poor mainstreamer?

h8 when u can't tell the difference between 'art' and 'advertising.'

Yall. Don't u h8 when u think something is 'beautiful', then u find out that it it being used 2 sell u something? That's what happened 2 me when I saw this picture.

Initially, I thought that it was a beautiful picture that was about 'ending racism', celebrating 2 beautiful people coming together as 1 [via interracial couple]. But then I found out that it is an advertisement for a tennis shoe/ strip club / slice of white ass. Sad that the tennis shoe isn't featured in the picture.

'ugh'. Think that sometimes I assume that everything Kanye West makes is 'beautiful art' and don't realize that he is actually just 'trying to make money', or what rappers call 'hustling.'

Feel manipulated. It's kinda like when I see a beautiful logo that I would consider getting as a tattoo, but then I realize that it is part of a global brand. Thought I was gonna get this tattoo, but then I realized it belonged to CHILI's.

(Fortunately, I found out that it is a kick ass restaurant.)

In my digital art class, I actually made a symbol that looked like the 'Nike Swoosh' without even ever seeing it. I thought it was beautiful, but then my classmates accused me of 'ripping off Nike' and wondering 'how could u have never seen the Nike logo b4?'

Feel dumb when art = advertising, and I appreciate it too much when it I thought I was just admiring something beautiful.

But I did like the recent Am Appy custom Woody Allen campaign. Feel like it really went viral.

wish websites had 'billboards.' Think 'billboards' might be the most authentic artistic medium.

Felt sad when I read that famous street graffiti artist Banksy was actually hired by a Coalition of the Eastern world to spread anti-American messages [via internet viral campaign].

Does n e 1 know where I can get an advertising/marketing internship?

Might not find girls who wear Am Appy to be 'hot' n e more.

Yall. I remember the days when I would totally 'get a hard on' when I saw a girl wearing Am Appy. Whether it was a pair of leggings, a 'deep ass' v-neck, a pair of briefs on a lezbo core broad, or even just a bright coloured t-shirt, I always thought a girl who was wearing Am Appy was just as hot as one of the Am Appy models.

Feel like I'm growing up and valuing different things about a woman. Have yall ever made a new wardrobe out of nontraditional items, like 'wearing duct tape 2 prom' or something zany like that? Have yall ever made a body-suit from the skin of fat women?

Not sure if I'm even gonna wear Am Appy n e more. Might just start wearing the Am Appy bag. Need to brand myself better with Helvetty + something that showcases my body.

All I want 2 do
is live in 1 of the cities on the Am Appy bag
Settle down
Start a family
Be the person I want 2 be
and grow old without feeling old
Getting more meaningful with each passing day

Kinda sad. Not even sure what I think it 'hot' any more.
Might just start looking at 'a ton of porn'
because it's good 2 know that some girls 'just want 2 get pounded'
and only consider themselves' to be 'lil fuck holes'

What do u look 4 in a woman?
some1 who looks like Jessica Alba?

Where would u work if u were poor, uneducated, and unskilled?

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were a minority/poor/unskilled/uneducated? Seems like it is hard out there 2 find a job in our economie. I think that I would probably try to work at a place that treated me with respect, like a human.   Just want to make sure I 'get health benefits.'  Not sure if poor people are 'smart enough to work at Starbucks', though.

What would u do if u were in a no-win situation and 'needed a good job'?

Might move 2 LA and work at the American Apparel factory.


  • They will teach me English
  • They will give me stock in the company
  • They will teach me how to make t-shirts
  • Can probably get a lot of free kewl merchandise


  • My family probs won't realize that I am wearing Am Appy, and will just think I am a 'fggt' wearing 'bright shit' that I got for free at work from my employer

Might also work at the Envelope Stuffing Centre at Netflix Inc.


  • Access to 'bad ass' movies: action films for black people, romantic comedies, movies about step teams, and movies about minorities who learn to excel in the classroom
  • Won't have to wait for a day or two for the movies I want
  • Probably could take my computer into work and rip movies on to my compy
  • Probably get to 'watch movies' while I work in Windows Media Player
  • Employee Snack Rooms
  • Cons:

  • Could probably just get all of the same movies on youtube/hulu/pirate bay without having 2 stuff envelopes with DVDs

Might also be Chili's Waiter


  • People will think that I am a bro working on his Associate's Degree at a local community college for up to 8 years
  • Will get to learn how to cook some bad ass party foods
  • Get to interact with 'hot, mildly thick' desperate broads


  • 40 lb weight gain and getting into a relationship with a fellow employee who is as sad as u, then living in a local apartment with him/her, then building ur whole social life around ur Chili's franchise co-workers.  Also getting tempted 2 work for TGIFriday's/Applebee's.

Might just settle for McDonalds bro.


  • Free meals
  • Free McGriddles
  • Free Hot Cakes
  • Free Sundaes
  • Free bluetooth headset
  • Get to 'poop in the ball pit'
  • Getting 2 interact with children 4 birthday parties


  • Having 2 work in the mornings 2 eat McDonalds breakfast.

I feel lucky 2 b me. Glad that I got to go to design school and live out my dreams working for an advertising firm behind some of the world's most recognized viral marketing campaigns and strategically created memes.

However, not every1 has it as lucky as me.

Previous post about authentic careers.

Where would u work if u were 'poor' and 'trapped in ur life'?  What would ur 'career goals be' besides 'putting food on the dinner table'?

Worried abt American Apparel

I'm kinda worried about Am Appy. I saw this advertisement, and it wasn't a traditional ad of a 'hot girl' showing off her perfect alternative figure. Instead, the advertisement was meant to highlight what a great company Am Appy is bc they hire unskilled ppl, make them skilled, and then pay them above-market wages + give them a chance to wear Am Appy clothes at work + learn English +etc.

Photo via PSFK

Feel like they have already penetrated the entire alternative market, and realize that maybe it is time 2 start targeting more mainstreamers. Feel sad that the Am Appy authentic glory days might be over/might live 4ever. Just looking for simple clothes that don't brand me too much, but can still associate me with a relevant aesthetic. Not sure if there will ever be another Am Appy. Glad they came along, or all alternative ppl would still be wearing 'vintage' or maybe even 'trying to make THE GAP' seem alt.

Kinda sad that I didn't know there was a 'financial crisis' going on behind the scenes of Am Appy. Not sure how businesses work, though, so maybe 'mergers and acquisitions' are . Feel like 'such a consumer' sometimes. Then I pick up the 'newspaper' on the internet and read abt how companies are doing their best 2 expand and stay alive in a rapidly changing economy.

Sometimes Product Packaging is More Important Than the Actual Product

[Photo via]
As yall know, I am an alternative businessman with relevant opinions on how to set up a successful alternative business. If u come to my blog offices for a consulting session, I will teach u how to turn 10 Am Appy t-shirts and a permanent marker into a thriving alternative business.

Today's Alt Biz Lesson is about product packaging. What yall need 2 realize is that product packaging represents your product. Sometimes even more than ur actual product. Even though 'Am Appy' is 'just a t-shirt', the way that the colourful product sits in a meaningful clear bag with names of relevant cities printed on it does a better job of branding. In this picture, you can see proud entry level alts who are proud of their recent purchases at the popular international boutique "The American Appy." The opportunity to walk around the city with a branded bag gives the entrylevelers a chance to show other consumers what 'people who look interesting and culturally connected' are purchasing.

I know yall don't realize this, but when u walk with this bag, u r a 'walking billboard', kind of like a bus with an advertisement, or one of those portable billboard thingies.

I guess what I'm trying 2 say is that yall need 2 b aware of the world around u.
Understand that product packaging can inspire consumers to rally behind ur product's brand.

Should I use my Abercrombie bag as my backpack when I go back to High School to get my G.E.D.?

Should I be proud of my Forever21 bag?

Is it still authentic to brand yourself with The Gap?

I <3ed my macbook packaging so much that I use it on a daily basis as a purse/laptop bag so that people nvr 4get that I'm a Mac user.

When I grow up, I will only live in a city that has been listed on an Am Appy bag.

What's yalls favourite bag 2 walk around with?

Kinda bummed out (about titties in my face)

Ever since I was an entry level hypemachine mp3 blog, I wanted to 'make it' and look like 'a real' website that was 'an authentic content source' for 'tastemaking audiences' and miscellaneous 'trendsetters.'

Guess what I'm trying 2 say is that I wanted to get American Appy ads on my site. Having American Apparel banners mean that 'u have arrived.' U r 'real', 'valuable' and 'relevant.'
So I did that, and I'm feelin kind of empty. Now that my site is 'branded' as being 'legitimate' according 2 the casual internet viewer, I want more.

I'm bummed out.
I read that Am Appy is starting to run nude ads on select websites.

Click Here

I know yall probably think I should chill out. But I just want a nip or two on my website. I just want a few alt breasts to be peeping out at my readers saying, 'hey yall. come and buy some of our stuff, yall!'

I might just put some smut videos up on my sidebars to make HRO//NSFW.
Should I ban nudity on HRO?

Should I ban Ben & Jerry's on my weblog?

[Photo by lastnightsparty]

Are a pair of titties gonna make yall more likely 2 buy something?
When u see breasts aligning with a brand, does it make u want to cum with/on the brand and the pair of sweet, sweet juggs?
Do u still want 2 be an Am Appy model?

What is the most Authentic Alt Job?

When I graduated from High School (got a G.E.D. cuz I outgrew a lot of the social bullshit rlly quickly) and made a 10 year plan, I realized that I wanted a job that not only provided financial security, but more importantly projected an image that enabled people to think that I am 'cool' and 'passionate about what I do at the same time.' Picking a career is a difficult, soul-searching journey/ongoing quest for self-awareness+actualization.

When you are building a personal brand, you want a brand so strong that people want to emulate it. Kinda like Michael Jackson when he was in the process of turning white. You want other people to want your life.

Picking your authentic alt career is difficult. Sometimes it takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes it means 'standing up 2 ur parentz bullshit expectations' and/or 'societal norms.' It means taking risks, going to college, not going to college, changing your major, taking a year off, and transferring to a school where u r socially comfortable+'academically stimulated.' It means being yourself and being some one else. While 'wanting 2 make ur parents proud' is an innate within all humans, authentic alts are willing to rage against this desire. Your pride is the most important thing in the world. Your pride, your terms.

This is ur life.


The Guy who works the soundboard at concerts. He knows a lot about sound quality, systems, and bands.

DJ at a shitty radio station/college radio station/guy who is affiliated with a university 5+ years after graduating & not getting a real job.

"Door guy" who multitasks as a bouncer/ticket tearer/janitor.

Buffalo Exchange employee

Am Appy employee

postpostironic McDonalds employee

Start an indie band that is better at 'looking like an indie band' than it is at making music

Start a web 2.0 company

Start the first myspace profile

Work for a web marketing company who tries to get products/services/memes to go viral for companies who don't 'get' how the internet works. h8 when 'big businesses' don't understand the importance of the meme economy.

Work at Costco

Be a Zany Doctor

Work at a free spirited, local coffee shop

Work at Starbucks (great benefits, yall)

Go 2 beauty school.

Learn photoshop/become a designer. Carles is certified in Photoshop CS1.

Transition your name into a fashion label / be a judge on a Bravo show / make clothes for keut women.

Buy a video camera and make a lil meaningful film.

Start a blog!

Go on a Bravo Show/pretend u r 'into the design sciences.'

Become an altCEO // start a 'plain tee shirt company' that is 'fueled by legal Mexis'

Spend ur whole life 'becoming good at the internet' for no real reason.

[via Designnotes]

Tattoo artist

Apple Store Employee

Blipster Apple Store Employee

Make a viral vid

Note: Working in a record store is no longer an authentic alternative career in the postMP3 blog era.

Yall have a lot of options to express your personal brands. I'm sure I left out tons of options. Feel free to add some more to the comments.

In conclusion, it is just important to always remember the power of your alternative self, and the power of alternative free will. You are not functioning within the implied expectations of society. You will justify your life at any cost. You want people to understand that you are at your job for a reason. Even if you are just 'working at a coffee shop before you move to NYC to get a job at a design firm after you get your portfolio of doodles+MSPaint files together.'

Never give up on you. You are special. Eventually, you will find a way to get paid for just being yourself. You have a unique perspective on the world, and eventually, you will find a way to let people know 'who u really are', establishing a platform where people will listen 2 u, and most importantly, want 2 b u. (kinda like God/Michael Jordan/theGirlTalk/Macauly Culkin circa Home Alone).

Is n e 1 gonna wear this?

Are yall going to stop wearing solid coloured American Appy products and start wearing Afrikan products? Or does it is it too 'entry-level alt' for your authentic personal brand?(kind of like AmyCore)

I often wonder about the direction of American Apparel over the next century/1 million blog years. How will they keep their powerful brand alive? Will people keep buying solid coloured shirts? Will they setup a factory in a different American city and take pay above-market wages to a different set of legalized minorities?

Do u know if new colours can still be invented, or did some1 already invent all of them? <3 RoyG. Biv <3 Should I change HRO's colours to AFRIKAN ones?

N e ways, what did yall do this weekend?

Save Afrika?


Seen n e kute testicles lately?

I know there are a lot of female readers who complain about HRO not having enough 'HOT BRO' representation, but I'm doing my best to post m0re QT guys. I know the altbro readership gets to tug they-selves off when they visit HRO, so hopefully females can find a lil bit more pleasure when they visit

BUT SRSLY...there's nothing sexier than a guy with a dreamy gaze with one of his hairy ballz hanging out of his shorty short jorts.


I wish that I could have been able to see into the future when I was a kid. If I had been able to see that American Appy was going to make gold tights, then I wouldn't have thrown away my golden rollerblades. :-(

[Photos Domestic Fine Arts]

I Slept Over At My BF's Last Nite, (yall)

I think it's really sweet that this QT is wearing her boyfriend's shirt and that she was proud enough to get streetfashionbloggedabout in it. I wonder if her BF would have been blggd about if he was the one wearing it. Based on the shirt size, he seems like a pretty big guy, so maybe not, since there aren't many fatties on street fashion blogs, and if they are, they are fat old men who look like the Penguin.

N e ways, her leggings are super kute.
I wonder if they are Lindsay Lohan(c)(TM) brand leggings.

Here's a pic of Lindsay and some of her friends modeling the kute tights.

I think if I had to pick a pair, I'd buy the ones on the left because they have knee pads, and that means I could have doggie style sex in them without getting carpet burn.

Does any one know who invented leggings/tights/panty hose?
Was it American Apparel?

Or was it L'EGGS?

What Music Will Sound Like/Music Videos Will Look like in 2k8


<3 alt broads rolling around on the floor like sexie beached whales <3

Question from a concerned HRO reader:

What is the female equivalent of an 'alt bro'? u kno
the kind that wear amapp headbands n carry round a
lomography camera to all the hella dp's they r invited

Should I start a party pix site with a lomography camera, a headband, and a dream?

HRO in some cartoon about Hipsters on Al Gore’s internet TV station thingy

How do u feel about online media that 'makes fun of hipsters'? I feel like it usually appeals to people who are on the sidelines of hipsterdom, and have an unhealthy obsession with 'what is means to be alt.' Kind of like the people who bought $100 worth of American Appy, a pair of shutter shades, and other miscellaneous 'look@me' accessories, but only wear it once to an 80s themed party and spend the whole night saying, "OMG i look like such a hipster. hehe."

Here are two screen shots from the cartoon

I hope 50% of my readership has purple hair. Should I change the HRO layout/blog title? Did u connect with it on a meta-post-meta-alt-physical level?

Hey look that's me, yall! right next 2 my other fave site. "Loves it! That is all."

Watch the video just to hear the use of the words 'mainstreamer' and 'alt.' (Also if you like Nike spaceships and floating Steve Aokis.)


[Video may not be viewable in your RSS reader]

Did u like the video? What was ur fave part? Does it represent U? Is it for FGGTs?

How do u feel about 'hipster' themed videos? I feel like alt audience will always think this is ghey, because 'most of us' are alt-er than the entry-level, uneducated alts who are portrayed in this. Most mainstream-ish [HIGHLY PORTRAYABLE] alts who are REALLY alt aren't even smart enough to use the internet to do more than social network/upload photos/change user pics/write on walls.

Remember the Hipster Olympics? That went s00 alt-viral.

I was also searching for a video that was representative of the 'poor portrayal of American Apparel mockery' genre, but I happened to stumble upon an authentic gem that is better at showing
<3 entry level 'searching for my inner alt' alts <3
I wish I could have been there 4 this.
This video is so much deeper than stuff like this.


I think striped shirts are always a good relief from your solid AA shirts, and your 'overdesigned, overpriced graphic tee.' Part of me wants to call them 'JAIL shirts' or 'PIRATE shirts', but that usually depends on how dirty the person wearing it looks. Usually bros in striped shirts are just 'd-bags in striped shirts.' (in a good way).

This bro's striped shirt looks rlly cute. I am an avid fan of buying Plain White Tees, and designing them to match your personal brand. For instance, this bro made his own stripes, and included a picture of loved ones on his shirt. It's kind of kute/meaningful. I wonder if he has a startup screen printing business?

True or False: Mainstream bros NEVER wear striped shirts unless they happen to own a striped Polo shirt.

What is ur favourite striped shirt combo?
Is it this 1?

I hope so/I hope not.

Luv yall. What r u doin this weekend? o cool I was thinking of doing that 2. My friend is getting me on the list.

[via The Streetwalker]

HRO Gimmick Revival? Products Worth Blogging About

Do u remember in the early days of HRO when I used to blog about American Appy?
I haven't been online shopping in a while, nor have I stepped in to an AA to see one of my alt-bro/mainstream-girl-trying-to-be-alt acquaintances who work there.

N e ways, I am excited about the type of people who will wear the unisex BIG T-SHIRT.

I always appreciate styles/prints that are 'so American Apparel that only an alt-d-bag or entry level alt would wear it.'

Here are some of the most American Apparely products that are easy to love & h8:

1. 'that shirt.'

2. 'The hoodie with those white strings.'

3. 'The slut in that AA tube top'

4. 'The skank in the heather AA t-shirt/v-neck with titties hanging out'

What are your favourite items that are 'obviously from American Apparel' that people wear?

Remember that time I blogged about the AA Halloween Contest?

I hope the BIG T-SHIRT factors into the Halloween Costume Contest in 2k9.

Pre-order Your Big T-Shirt Here


Should stop buying lighters and only buy AA matchbooks with alt titties in them?

[Via Copyranter]

<3 <3 <3 American Appy <3 <3 <3

The Best Of: Human Accessories

The most popular human accessory of the summer has to be the "+1 baby." Chilling with your child shows that you are dedicated to gettin your buzz on, and hopefully getting your dance on, even though you have brought an extra life into this world.

[Photo by Every1 Is Famous]

There's nothing wrong with being an alternative cool dad/cool mom.
There's also nothing wrong with having an alt-baby accessory.

Purchase Alt Babies & Alt Baby Apparel at

P0ST M0RE N00DZ in an effort to appeal to both sexes of readers

For the ladies (and gheys)

Every guy I know who has worn a pair of AA undies for any reason is a huge _________.
What is the perfect alternative bum?

For the alt bros:

Have u ever been in a club and had some1 ask you to ice their nips?
We are still on a search for the perfect alternative breasts.

[The Friend Attack]

V Necks Fuel the CHEST TATTOO Industry.

For men and boys, the most valuable aspect of the AA V-neck is not the ability to show off your budding chest hair. The Vneck is instead an opportunity to show off your chest tattoo. Even if people can't tell if your tattoo is a cock, a bong, or some other object that's 'a metaphor about ______', the v-neck will effectively display your body art.

Who would have thought the kid who 'didn't make good grades, but was really artistic...seriously, you should see the doodles in his chemistry notebook' would eventually have the opportunity to doodle all over his body?

Sidenote: Does the guy on the right shop at the FALLOUTBOY LeadSinger Outlet Boutique?

(Sideburns sold separately)

[Via Scene-There]

PRODUCT LEAK [Do Not Repost This Or Else I Will Get Sued]

American Apparel is beta testing the Striped Ribbed Long-Sleeve Gloved Hoodie TurtleNeck Ski Mask. Also available in Crimson + Lapis.

[Image By TheFriendAttack]


300 words or less.

Great Moments in Retail History


Never has the liquidation of excess inventory been executed in a way that resonated with a generation on a social, spiritual, and cultural level.

We'll never forget the American Apparel Factory Flea Market Sale of 2007.


[Via the FaceHunter]
I saw this dress, and it made me yearn for a zigzagging striped shirt that represents the peaks and valleys of day-to-day life.

Do you think the zigzag pattern is too time consuming for the American Apparel factory workers to make?

I just want to express myself, and sometimes horizontal stripes just aren't enough.


Great Moments in Corporate History

From the NY Times

AA <3s Mexicans.
American Apparel vs the American Government.

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