Alice Glass | Hipster Runoff

Alice Glass

Name that altceleb lookalike (Grandma Edition)

Name that Alternative Celebrity LookAlike is a fun gimmick game where u see a picture of a normal alternative person who looks kinda like a famous alternative buzz artist or musician. Can u guess who this old lady kinda looks like?

Photos via Hel Looks

She looks really familiar...can't quite put my finger on who she reminds me of... this is rlly driving me crazie.  plz help


  • She is in a buzzband from the UK with 2 letters
  • She is an 'it girl'
  • She is part of a Canadian hardcore 8bit duo
  • She is 'sexie'
  • She formerly dated one of the Strokes
  • Her family was featured in an MTV reality show in the late 1980s.
  • She can play the harp
  • She is married to Ben Gibbard
  • She is on a Bravo TV show
  • she is in a band, but has also been on magazine covers.
  • She is the world's 7th iPad DJ
  • she sometimes DJs topless
  • She was recently hired by Mountain Dew to make a few mp3s that taste like soda

The person who correctly identifies the alternative celebrity will receive a free Genre Shirt from the I AM CARLES store.

Who do yall think she looks like?

Alice Glass

Alternative Celebrity

Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.

Read more>>>>

Alice Glass in Wonderland--designing a meme that is larger than ur live show.

Photos by Ryan Muir via BrookVeegs

I was recently at a Crystal Castles concert, and I noticed the lead singer Alice Glass in an 'Alice in Wonderland' costume. It was a strategic move, since her name is 'Alice' and the kidz movie's main character is also named 'Alice.' It seems like a live show can be limiting. Ur only going to be performing for about 50-350 'fans.' It seems like u should do something that 'gets u attention on the internet from a blogsite that has thousands of daily visitors.' This way u can enhance ur macrobrand instead of just portraying with a meaningful microbrand with a 1and done show.

'Making a meme' out of a concert seems like something all indie bands must do to 'get covered.' Whether it is 'costumes', 'confetti', or 'inviting a member of another relevant indie band out on to stage to pretend to play guitar with your band', it is important to 'get the internet buzzing' abt ur live show. This will make them want to attend ur show when you go to their local scene because they will be 'afraid of missing something.' This seems like a good strategy for bands that are not worthy of 'being relevant.'

For example, Of Montreal has never really been a 'good band', but since their live shows are 's000 zany', ppl really like 2 see them. Here is a picture of an Of Montreal show where they execute women while they are wearing sillie costumes. The photo makes u wanna be there so you can see some1 'take her last breath of life.'

Photo via YvanRodic

Crystal Castles is kinda in the same boat as Of Montreal. I am not sure if they will ever release more music, but I think their brand is 'so established' it won't matter 'how good/bad' their music is. They will realistically never release an album that is 'critically acclaimed' or 'says something meaningful that tons of ppl can relate to', so all they will do for the rest of their lifespan is 'chill & try 2 keep their brand alive.'

Scarie. Seems like a chill meme, though. 'Worth blogging about', potentially.

Do yall know if 'Alice in WoNdErLaNd' is an authentic cartoon film? Seems like it was never that interesting, except ppl who 'do drugs' like to pretend that it is 'fucking awesome.' I prefer the Pixar films cuz they appeal 2 me as an adult, but still entertain my kidz.

Worried that Chrystie Castles are going to start appealing to stoner/druggie bros who now listen to Jam Bands.

Worried that she is trying to look like she is a 'drug dependent person.'

I hope that even if Chrystine Castles is going through an 'experimental phase', it makes their music better. I am worried that it might sound like distorted electro garbage if they 'drop 2 much acid.'

Sad that everything is about drug culture. Wish music and drugs had nothing to do with eachother so that Incubus never would have acquired a fan base.

what's ur fave band with a fan base of ppl who 'do a shitload of drugs'?
do u think they do drugs bc the music would be shitty without drugs?
Or do drugs open up ur mind and enable u to think in ways that straight edge ppl could never dream of?

Will Crystal Castles 'be a better band' now that Alice Glass 'plays guitar+bass'?

I have heard mixed reviews of the live Crystal Castles experience. Many tweens have found the concert to be 'fucking amazing', but older people and electro purists think that the set is 'fucking garbage.' Many times, the band plays sets that are 15-30 minutes long [unverified statement]. The band is apparently is really 'moody' and 'difficult to work with' [via internet rumors from miscellaneous people who 'know important people']. It is basically just 'flashing lights', 'pre-recored electro beats', and 'Alice Glass yelling into a microphone.' [unverified statement] Sometimes they also 'get in fights with fans' and other edgy, bloggable stuff like that.

I am interested in this new era of the Crystal Castles. I thought that they were just going to be 'irrelevant' for 1.2 more years, then 'release an overhyped+overblogged' followup album that altNewsOutlets covered more bc of 'familiarity', and less bc of 'artistic merit.' But now it seems like they might be interested in becoming 'the best Canadian band since the Arcade Social Fire Scene.'

All artists are trying to 'be authentic' and 'provide an inimitable live experience', and many bands achieve this by displaying their musicianship. I think 'playing live' might be a good idea for the Chrystie Cashes. Think all bands are ultimately trying to 'look cool' by looking like a male rocknroll band. 'Playing guitar' makes consumers feel comfortable watching ur band play. They don't want to see bandmembers 'hunched over a laptop' or even just 'playing tambourine'. A live audience needs to be 'captivated' by ur performance, and enable the much-blogged-about phenomenon of 'word of mouth' advertising to take place [via twitter].

I am interested to see them on tour, and see if Alice can play some mad 'riffs' on the guitar. If CC comes out to your area, let me know how 'the Alice on Guitar' experiment works out.

Name that femalt celeb lookalike

Carles just saw a picture of a regular person who looks like she is a famouser person than she actually is. Help Carles determine who this broad looks like...

Yall... I can't put my finger on who exactly she looks like.

Here are some hints:

  • She is the lead singer of a popular 8bit electro bloghouse band
  • She was featured in an iPod commercial.
  • There was a reality show about her zany rocknroll family
  • She likes to eat fast food late at night.
  • She has a brother whose nickname is 'Chubs McGee.'
  • She recently broke up with Albert Hammond, Jr.
  • She is signed to Ed Banger Records
  • She recently earned the title of the 'hipster grifter'
  • She might be AZN, but maybe not
  • She is marrying the solo project 'Death Cab 4 Cutie'


Current Mood: Frusterated :-&
Current Song: the Velvet Underground vs. Kanye West - "Beginning to See the Flashing Lights (Justice mashup)"

Bad News–Got Expelled from Design School

Yall-- got some bad news. Probably won't be able to blog as much since I got kicked of design school (I usually do most of my blogging from public wifi or the Digital Imaging Apple Lab). I was actually a student worker in the lab, and decided 2 start a lil business where I would use the large scale printers to make custom posters for my friends. It has actually always been my dream to start a t-shirt/poster eCommerce website.

N e ways... was actually printing out a hi resolution image for myself. Just wanted to hang this picture of Crystal Castles lead singer Alice Glass on my ceiling right above my bed. A lot of mainstreamers have pix of Jessica Alba/Cindy Crawford/Bob Marley in their room. I just wanted to alt-ify my dorm room a bit [via tugging urself 2 sleep].

But yea... my dickhead professor walked in and 'flipped a shit.' I wasted s00 much of the department's ink budget. He was angry, and said that my ideas were bullshit anyways because I just 'put Helvetica over everything and call it ART.' I was immediately called into the Dean's Office, and had a talk. My grades were low, yall. Just been getting caught up in other aspects of life, and sometimes I just don't care about meaningless Art History/Photoshop projects. Just want to get a Marc Jacobs/Urban Outfitters/Busted Tees internship. Got asked to resign from school so that they wouldn't have to expell me. Had to clear out of my dorm room by 5 pm. sucked.

Going to pretend that I am still going to college for the rest of the semester, then just pretend to drop out so that my parents aren't mad at me/stop paying my rent and make me move back 2 suburbia.

Have yall ever gotten in trouble for using resources that u weren't supposed 2?
Have yall ever been in trouble? How do yall 'deal with it'? Do u just try to say ur not supposed to fit in2 society and that every1 else is stupid and doesn't 'get' what 'truly matters'?

Name That Alternative Celebrity Lookalike (some broad)

[lookbook photography]

I was looking at pictures of hot alt tween chicks, and I noticed that this altbroad looked a lot like one of my favourite alternative celebrities. Can yall guess who she looks like?


  • She is famous 4 wearing top hats
  • She sings the song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it, Yall."
  • She was in the hit reality show The Osbournes.
  • It may or may not be "The Uffie."
  • She sings the song "Just Dance."
  • It might be Alice Glass as a blonde, but I'm not sure.
  • She was on the show The Simple Life



I was recently browsing youtube, searching for live performances of all of my favourite bands, and I stumbledupon this video entitled "ALICE GLASS BEATS IDIOT OVER HEAD WITH MICROPHONE." I watched it 2 find out what was happening.

At the 1:25 mark, I noticed that the music stopped, and lead singer of Crystal Castles--Alice Glass--did something very violent. She slung her microphone back, and then wound up, and then hit some bro. U can hear a thud, which was probably an altbro skull being crushed by a microphone. Then she called him a 'fucker' and hit him a few more times.


Kinda sad that one of my favourite altcelebs of the Blog House era resorted to hitting a bro with a microphone. Makes me kinda sad, but then u start 2 think, what did the altbro do to get beat+kicked out by a bouncer?

In the past, I have made several posts about ppl 'having a grab' at females when they fly into the crowd.
One Post is entitled "Alice Glass Upskirt Grab"

Another post features a tweenAltBro with braces drooling over having his face in Alice Glass's Business

And here is some other Female Crowdsurfing Theory inspired by Uffie

Hope people didn't get the wrong message from these posts. It's not okay to 'grab' female altcelebs, yall. U wouldn't grab a female accountant while she was accounting, would u? She's just doing her job. Hopefully venues don't make us start signing waivers b4 we go in to keep us from violating members of bands.

I'm kinda worried. I feel like this act might have happened because the BlogHouse bubble is bursting. A lot of altcelebs are feeling a lot of stress ever since the latest AnCo album came out, and sort of made electro/bloghouse seem obsolote+trivial.

Let's take some time to remember Alice Glass from her glory days with an old tribute video.


Do yall know if this is the pic of the person who Alice Glass beat up?

Do yall agree with violence?
Or whenever an act of violence occurs, is some1 'asking for it'?
How far is 2 far, yall?
Should the other member of Crystal Castles have stood up 4 her?
Should we all have to take Anger MGMT classes?
Are 'acts of violence' just viral marketing techniques?

Tonight, an altceleb will pour vodka into my mouf.

[Photo by The Friend Attack]
Tonight, an alternative celebrity will give me life [via pouring vodka into my mouf while I am at the front of a meaningful DJ set]. I am used to a sillie AZN man doing this, but this time it will 'mean a little bit more' since it will be done by one of my fave altcelebs of yester-year.

While Alice Glass pours vodka into my mouf, I will think about the future of bloghouse/electro. While I 'was really into her' last year, I am not sure who I am right now. I am not sure who I should find attractive. I am not sure what music presently 'defines' me or if I am still attending DJ-centric events because I am afraid of the future/having to build a new personal brand.

Will this weekend be the last weekend that I listen 2 bloghouse?
Will I reset my iPod, erasing the former version of me, moving into the future by only loading conceptcore music on my iPod?
Am I too attached to my personal brand to 'move forward' in my quest for authenticity?
I will not sleep tonight.
I will stay awake, trying 2 dream of 'a better place.'


The Most Fascinating/Beautiful Alternative Personal Brands of 2k8

Every year, certain individuals set themselves apart from 'the crowd' with strong personal branding decisions. In our alternative word, you must be creative/talented/beautiful/sluttie/zany/good@self-promotion/have a gimmicky gimmick in order 2 b noticed. For the next couple of days until I lose interest in the gimmick, I will post about some of the strongest personal brands of 2k8.

(gonna miss 2k8)
/// The Year
/// The Neon Died


Dear Uffie and Alice,
Yall were really good 2 me this year. Not sure if I found yall talented, and not even sure if yall have albums from 2k8, but I just posted a lot abt yall. Sorry if yall feel 'objectified' or like I gave yall non-traditional coverage that entry level blggrs + fggt alt news sources give yall, but please appreciate me for giving u 'coverage.' Didn't mean to demean your 'art'/'vision' or whatever u wanna call it. Not gonna apologize for 'crossing the line' cuz I don't think I did, but I hope yall are able to 'stay sexie' in 2k9. This might require releasing a book where you post pictures of yalls selves' having sex with men, kind of like Madonna. Or maybe you can 'go krazie' like the Britney Spears band. Not gonna tell yall how 2 manage your careers, but just sayin...
Most importantly, don't let yalls alternative fame and sex appeal go 2 yalls heads. Don't 4get ur past, and don't turn into the ppl u h8. Sorry if I sound like yalls 'resentful dads' who don't understand ur careers because u don't have medical/dental/vision coverage, but do what u can 2 take care of urself. We don't even know if MP3s will still be legal in 2k9, so just take care of yalls selves.
Proud of yall for having a stronger personal brand than Ladyhawke/Lady Gaga/Little Boots/Lovefoxxx/etc. (U never know what could happen in 2k9, though).

Your blggr,

PS: "I still haven't found what I'm looking 4." -U2 about Uffie's alt breasts

Pupu Platter of Links
Uffie Grabfest // Uffie Audrey Hepburn Makeover // Uffie Pregnancy Rumors Uffie Grandparent///// Alice Glass Upskirt grab //// Some AltBro + Alice Glass /// Uffie nips foto shoppe /// Uffie Juicy nips // Uff Ribcage /// Alice Glass leggings

(besides 'Barry Obama')

I remember when haute chicks used 2 tape Xes on their nips. (NSFW)

I remember in the past, alternative exhibitionists would tape Xes on their nips. These days, I guess your personal brand is stronger if you have the Xes AND find a way to show your beautiful nippies. It works for me.

Did yall know that udders on cows are the same thing as nipples on humans? Kinda weird how at the core of everything, we're just animals. Guess I nvr thought abt it that way... h8 science. Makes my alternative life feel less 'special'/'spesh.'

////afraid 2 die////

BUT SRSLY... do yall know if this is a Converse ad?
Do they have a new target market now that they have saturated the 'authentic suburban high schooler' demographic?

[Photos by LastNights Partie]

More n00ds after the jump <3 <3 <3

Still searching 4 my ideal Hallowen Costume

Halloween is coming up in just a lil bit.
Kinda getting anxious about 'what I'm gonna be.' I might have to go to the doctor to tell him I need some more of my anti-anxiety pills cuz I srsly can't handle this kind of pressure. H8 dealing with real life + issues that no1 else understand.

N e ways... what should I be for Halloween?

Think I might end up just being DarkHearted Mickey Mouse.

[Photo by GlamCanyon]

I might just settle for being a Hotdog/ popular DJ with dancing edible items. I heard having dancing objects is the new MASKED DJs. PNAU implemented this gimmick a while ago.

Should I be a 'think piece' costume that represents Crimes Against Animals?

Should I just make a costume of an animal utilizing real animal fur? If I end up doing that, I might be a panda/polar bear/manatee.

should I be Girl Talk on a bicycle going to pick up some xtreme MTN DEW at his local grocery store?

Or maybe just a Black Eyed Pea Alt. (blipster)

[Photo by GadeMode]

Maybe I'll just be Alice Glass in 20 years.

Unless yall speak up, I'm just gonna be Juicetise.

[Photo by Style Clicker]

Do yall have a costume yet?

Name that Alternative Celebrity LookALike [Mashup Edition]

[Photo by Glam Canyon]

This AltCelebLook-Alike is a human mashup of two separate alternative celebrity personalities.  They have merged as one to create an intriguing-looking superAlt.

Do yall know which 2 altCelebs have merged into this one alt?


  • One is a former HRO 'it girl'/'tugbsession'
  • One is from Canada & the other is from the North Pole
  • One is zany/in touch with nature
  • One inspired a lot of girls to dress as a duck/swan costumes 4 Halloween.

Cheat Sheet Hint: It is not Uffie + Sarah Palin.

Alice Glass explains her Personal Brand

I was reading my local newspaper, the Independent, and I saw a section with fashion tips from one of my favourite female vocalists of the post-Feist musicsphere. Here are a series of quotes that help us understand why Alice Glass is s000 sexie.

[Photo by HalfAlive]


On why she didn't get a breast augmentation & keep her hair blonde:

I'm feminine: I'm wearing a skirt, I own a bra. I think that whole big blonde look has been taken over by transsexuals now. I'm a natural blonde, but that blonde hair, big tits idea of what men want, it's now really unfeminine.

Photobucket Image Hosting
On her keut haircut which she has had 4 a long tyme

I've had my hair like this since I was 13. Before that, it was much shorter. I had a Chelsea, which is bangs [a fringe] and then the rest is shaved off.

Photobucket Image Hosting
On wearing little boys clothing...

My top is from a sports store in Dalston. It's a sweater for little boys

On coming out of her mother's womb with a pre-established personal brand:

I must have come out of the womb wearing Converse.I just wear them until they rip and become sandals. I like the white ones when they get that awesome brown shade.

On the dangers of playing to crowds of entrylevel alts:

I can't take anything valuable on tour; kids jump on stage and steal my stuff.

On what happens 2 u if u never have a real job:

My make-up routine involves putting a bunch of black stuff on my eyes. I've worn lipstick before, but I'm not big into it. I don't really care or think about how I look. I wouldn't wear something I didn't like, but I've never had a real job so no one's ever told me how to dress.

[Read more personal Alice quotes]

I feel kloser 2 her now, since I understand where she is coming from. It's kind of like when u r dating some1, then 1 night u just have an 'amazing conversation' where u get vulnerable with them, find out about their childhood, and learn to understand & value them on a totesally deep level.

'I need u s0 much closer'
-death cab for Crystie Cutesle

P0ST M0RE legging-protected upskirt

[Photos of Alice by HalfAlive]
Leonardo Di Cappy + blue tights + upskirt + Alice Glass = bisexual altBro porn?

(SRSLY that a Mr. Potato Head Tatty or not??)

Alice Glass has had a great run, but it's time 2 move on, yall. Having an altCeleb crush is kind of like dating some1 in real life--after a while u get tired of them, and the stuff that you thought was cute/interesting about them gets boring & ugly. U know how it is, yall.

Who is the next HRO 'it' girl?

[Photo by JamesLooker]


[Photo by JamesLooker]

Miss u a lot 4vr--nvr will 4get u, Chritie Cattyles.
Luv u so much Alice. Luv, the HIPSTER RUNOFFS 2k8.5-2k8.75 forced-infatuation with Alice Glass.

[Photos of Alice by HalfAlive]
Previous upskirt grab

Previous legging protected upskirt

Previous braceface entrylevel altBro having a grab at Alice Glass' Ass

Meaningful Tribute Video to Ally Christy

A Tribute to Alice Glass a.k.a. Christie Castle



"American Woman...stay away from me."
-HRO + Lenny Kravitz duet, 2001

Previous tribute video to Kala "M.I.A." Smith

Previous tribute slideshow to Stephen "the flying AZN DJ" Aoki

Crystal Castles: Will their next album be 100% BANGER?

I was listening 2 Crystal Castles's'z's remix of White Lies song "Death", and I couldn't help but notice how banger-ific it is. I haven't listened to a banger in so long, and I haven't posted a banger since 2k5.5 . It's been a while.

Are pure bangers coming back?

Will Crystle Castals' next album be 100% bangers?

Does Alice Glass know how to use Ableton?

Will Crystel Castels ever top their co-remix with Health? [link to the shittiest HRO post ever when I was a gimmicky hypemachine mp3 blog that had no reason 2 b alive]

Will they ever top their remix of the Little Ones?[MP3]

White Lies Death (Crystal Castles Remix)


Yoinked from discobro

XX BONUS ALTBRO PORN XX Lately I've been rlly into alt-zombies & snuff-ish films with alt-divas with fishnet over their face.

Aligning Your Personal Brand With the Simpsons

Hey yall, do yall watch the television show 'The Simpsons'? Oh u did when u were a kid? keut.

N e ways...which 1 of these alt-lectro divas looks better in Simpsons paraphernalia?

Alice "Eat My Shorts" Glass from the band Ally and the Crysty Casties?

[Photo by Max Tollworthy]


Are the Simpsons 'alt'? Are they 'retro' or just 'intermediate retro' or are they 'thrift-core'?

Remember when obnoxious people with 'extroverted' personalities tried to tell u that FAMILY GUY was 'the future of comedy', but then they 'grew up a lil' and decided to be into smartComedies like the Office, Judd Apatow films, and full seasons of canceled-but-'friggin-brilliant' comedy series'.

<3 people who have personal brands that = summarizing zany references and events from Fammy Guy and expecting people to find their description to be as 'hee-lare-ee-ous' as watching it, and expect that the group of people will respect him as a source of funnie content <3

I don't have the answer 2 this question, but maybe u do:
What is the alt-est cartoon?
a) Toy Story
b) Wall-E
c) Cool World
d) Beauty and the Alt
e) The Little Mermaid
f) Hipsters in Space
g) this has the potential 2 b the longest multiple choice question ever, but maybe yall should just 'b creative' 4 once and Choose.Your.Own.Response

Piss-tal Castles

Do u listen 2 Crystal Castles?
Or do u h8 them?
Or do u find them to be just okay, but don't like to say that u like them because so many mainstreamAlts have merged their personal brands with CC?

[via Quentin's Meaningful Party Pix]

Remember the PISSING CALVIN craze of the late 90s? Mexican Americans would put this logo on the back of their car and make a zany representation of Calvin pissing on something. Those were the days when ur personal brand was only about the car you drove and the funnie bumper sticker/decal on the back of your car.

But srsly ALICE GLASS hot or not? Can some1 make a account to figure this out?

[Photo via RainyDayKidd flickr]

Teenagers &#34;B-Side&#34;

You might remember the popular blog band 'the Teenagers' from the era when the blog 'HIPSTER RUNOFF' wouldn't stop talking about them and performed the only real interview in HRO history with them.

N e ways...since I am basically Teenager HQ on the internet, here is a song that was left off REALITY CHECK but included on some single in a foreign country.

They are working on new stuff. Wouldn't u be tired of playing 'Homecoming' to entry-level alts who just heard it last week, too? Does n e 1 else miss remixes by the Teenagers? Bloghouse was so innocent back then. :-(

The Teenagers Trouble




Is that a Mr. Potato Head Tattoo on her wrist?

Alice Glass = Agyness Deyn + a hint of darkness

I remember Alice Glass used to always have a 'goth highschool girl with no fashion sense' haircut/personal brand.

In this picture, she looks like she got a makeover that helps her bring out her natural alt beauty. (Natural Alt beauty is easier to attain than mainstream natural beauty.)

Don't yall think she looks like a Bizzarro Agyness now?

Are there any other Alt-Evil Twins?
Which 1 would u be in a relationship with/which1 would u tug off to if you were an entry level alt?

Does getting a little boy haircut automatically make u look like Agyness Deyn?


The Teenagers & Justice = AltEvil Twins?

Alice Glass Upskirt Grab

Remember the brace face who was dr00ling all over Alice Glass, lead singer of the popular post-bloghouse band The Crystal Castle? We sort of said that we wished he would have taken a grab at a sweet slice of Alice&#39;s perfect, firm, independent butt/junk. Even though he didn&#39;t, it&#39;s good to know that there are some pervs out there who will do whatever it takes to get a lil bit of action from an indie goddess like Alice Glass.

Is this picture disturbing?
Should Alice Glass start wearing skinny jeans to protect herself from Crystal Predators?
Should women refrain from crowd surfing no matter how much the &#39;music takes over their soul&#39;?
Has Crystal Castles ever &#39;taken over ur soul meets body&#39;?
Did Alice Glass buy her Chuck Taylors before or after 1970?
Do u think the people who held her up in the crowd smell like teen angst/are covered in eye makeup now?
Is it ur dream to have a grab at the Uffie while she is basically topless, too?

[Via Katherine Coats Photography]

I dr00l over Alice Glass

I think one of the fun things about HIPSTER RUNOFF is keeping 'relevant bands' relevant, even months after they released their latest album or 'reporting' tour dates as an excuse to post an mp3. For instance, I get to post this picture of a brace face drooling over Alice Glass's (lead guitarist of Crystal Castles). It's a shame that Alice Glass always wears leggings so he can't sneak a reach up her skirt.

:-( We all have our dreams (yall).

Who is your female-alt celeb dream hookup?
The lead singer of CSS? Uffie? Ladyhawke? Vanessa Carlton? AgDeyn? Feist? Cat Power? Tegan and/or Sara? The girl in m83? A girl in Ladytron? An indie skank in a popular alt music video? An Au Revoir Simone gurle? One of the girls in the band AIR? A weirdo from Iceland? A grossly kute girl from Scandinavia?

Been to any good High School Talent Shows lately?

I'll never forget the High School Talent show during my senior year of High School. I was a Master of Ceremonies, and a group of my friends and I made a parody of the Justice video for "Stress." Good times, good times.
While most of the performers were bros with acoustic guitars playing Jack Johnson songs, and 'punk bands' playing Blink 182 covers, there was one act who stole the show. Her name was Alice. She was in my Speech class. She never spoke to any one, and people called her 'weird goth girl.' I always thought she was kind of cute, but thought maybe 'things weren't okay at home.' She wore a lot of eye makeup, and skirts over leggings. A very unique girl. I heard her talk once, but she just kind of screamed something about an "Air War" and I didn't know what it meant.
Anyways, at the Talent Show, Alice signed up to sing a song. The whole school was worried that she was going to use the public forum as an opportunity to utilize a backpack bomb. To every one's surprise, she took the stage with her 26 year old boyfriend. He stood behind his laptop playing electrobeats, and she yelled into the mic. Every one stood up, danced, grinded...just 'let go.' For a moment, Alice was Queen of the School.
After the Talent Show, every one got closer to Alice. She ended up dating the Quarterback of the football team, and even went to prom. Her parents were proud of her for being social, and they bought her a cherry red Jetta.

"Life is meaningful. Never give up."
-Alice Glass, in the made for TV movie The Alice Glass Story

[Photo by Every1isClayton]

Alice Glass Upskirt! (Where da vag at?)

What's up with those leggings? Will we ever be able to see the shaved vaginas of our favourite alternative female celebrities?

I think should make a show where they give artists and musicians makeovers. The kind of show where they go through some one's closet and make fun of their clothes, and make them lighten their hair so they look less old, and more approachable. They could turn Alice's look from 'directionless sophomore in high school whose parents work a lot' to 'professional female musician/secretary.'


Crystal Castles look sexie, scarie on the cover of NME

Oh Crysty Castles...
How did yall get on the cover of NME?
Oh yeah, the British h8 Americans
and yall are Canadian

That's chill.
yall look scarie
but at the same time

There's just something abt yall
That puts me in touch with my #DarkSide
Where ur really scared and afraid ur gonna die
but also rlly TURNED ON

Like getting effed with a gun 2 ur head
then crying abt youth
then having lilac hair
then seeing a man with a beard

Do u evr wish
that u were 1 of those ppl
who deserved 2 be punched
by Allie Glass?

Do u <3 Alice Glass?
Do u <3 Ethan Kath?
Do they look SeXy?
Is Crystal Castles III the #1 album of 2k12?
R u going 2 wear a bandana?
R u going 2 dye ur hair 2 be Allie Glass?

Alice Glass crowdsurfs, tons of bros try 2 have a grab

Photos via Brooklyn Vegan

Oh Alice...
Sometimes I feel like u were my guiding light
thru the farce that was 'the indie movement'

Now every1 needs a piece of u
every bro wants a grab
Be careful with our dark angel
She is more than just a random ass 'it girl'
created by the Corrupt Indie Machine
She is everything that is good and pure

U make me feel alive again, AliceBB

Be careful with her, please

Watch where ur putting ur hand, bro
Show some goddamn respect
This isn't just a 'flavor of the month' buzz girl
It's Alice Glass [via Crystal Castles]

Is Alice the most authentic diva 'in the game'?
Did Crystal Castles new song end the buzz drought?
Will their album be 'the best of 2k12'? [via non-indie bullshit]
Is Crystal Castles the only band 2 deliver on LP1, LP2, and LP3?
Have u ever been touched by Alice Glass floating above u?
Is that what it feels like 2 be touched by an angel?

Alice Glass is SEXI and TOPLESS on the new Crystal Castles album cover

This is the Crystal Castles' album artwork for their hit album III, which is their third album. As you can see, it is frontman Ethan Kath passionately holding Alice Glass in his arms. It is a touching cover, perhaps trying to send a message about 'true buzz love' or something dark or something I don't understand because I didn't waste my parents' money majoring in Art History at a small liberal arts college in New England, getting taught by a bunch of losers.

Crystal Castles are notorious for putting Alice on their album covers, like their previous one.

I miss my GrAvEyArD GuRLe!

Do u <3 the new Crystal CAstles album art?
Does Alice look good?
R u KrAziE 4 the return of Alice Glass?
Will this album be the best of 2k12?
Do u live 4 CC and no1 else?
Did Sleigh Bells ever have a chance of 'overtaking' CC for 'best boy-girl duo' or were they always doomed?

Alice Glass KILLS IT on stage, riffs hard on guitar like Hendrix

Photos via Brooklyn Vegan


Hard on that guitar
Sounds like effing Hendrix
Maybe even Len Kravvies

I want to get away...
Fly away...

R u friggin kidding me?
New Crystal Castles demo sounds great!

Save Us From the Buzz Flames
Save Us From the Buzz Drought
Save Us From the Buzzpocalypse

Alice Glass on guitar
U never cease 2 amaze me, bb...
Keep riffin!

DIY Punk vibes

Johnny Fuckin Frusciante

Do u <3 Allie Glass on guitar?

BREAKING: Alice Glass has purple hair. Does she have the best hair in indie?

If ur an indie diva, ur hair is one of your most important physical assets. In a series of recent shows and appearances, it seems as though Alice Glass has purple hair. After a few missteps by Victoria LeGrand and her artificial curls, and the HORRIBLE RED LOOK by M.I.A., it seems clear that Glass is gearing up for a memorable album cycle with Crystal Castles. In the battle for the best Hair [via indie divas], Alice Glass has emerged as the clear front runner.

Does Alice look good, bb?

Color experts claim that her hair is actually 'lilac.' This color distances her from the sea foam blue/green pink #seapunk trend that has been invading high school campuses.

Indie critics claim that her hair is channeling Kurt Cobain, deceased singer of the band Green Day from the 1990s.

Is Alice gonna 'pull a Kurtie Cobainy' on us/herself?
Does she have the best hair in indie?
R u gonna 'go lilac' / purple?
Is Crystal Castles 'going #seapunk'?
Will Crystal Castles save us from the buzz drought?
Should they let Bobert Smith back in2 the band, or can Alice Glass finally shine without him?

NSFW: Alice Glass spotted canoodling with a dead rat.

Oh Alice, bb...
Who is he?
Who is that dead rat?
He truly has the world at his rat finger tips...

The soft feeling of ur panty hose leggings
against his rat fur
ur hoodie still on...

This is Level 1 Canoodling...
Tier 1 Buzz relationship status
Who is that alt rat?
Is he dead?
Does he support ur career?
Is he front row at all of ur shows, like a stage BF?

What I wouldn't give
to be a dead rat...
I would live my life with nasty diseases
covered in filth, searching for scraps of food

Just as long as it meant
I got 7 minutes in heaven
2 canoodle with u...
Captured in a relevant photograph...

R u jealous of the rat?
Is the rat dead or alive?
Is it Alice Glass's soulmate?
Do u wish u were a dead rat?
Are dead rats the ultimate alt BFs?
Are all men 'filthy rat pigs'?
R u worried abt Alice? #pray4Alice

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