The 12 Days of Effing Hipsters | Hipster Runoff

The 12 Days of Effing Hipsters

On the 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th/8th/9th/10th/11rd/12th/13st/69th day of Xmas, my true alt gave 2 me:

a) one copy of Tomboy
b) 2 gaggles of AZNs [link]
c) 1 Unchill Azn Bro
d) 2 full sized Alice Glass posters
e) crack
f) 'AnCo vinyl records'
g) Miscellaneous alt alcoholic beverage
h) a blogspot
i) ten 10.0s
j) an entry level alt
k) 2 tix 2 a relevant music festival
l) A weekend on the Vampy Weeks cruise, departing from New Orleans on July 22, 2042
m) a job at Am Appy
n) an internship at Urby Outties
o) a worthless 20something former altbro 2 smoke dank with
p) an [apple product]
q) an [android phone]
r) a residency at a vegan bakery
s) 1 scholarship to an auto-acceptance design school
t) an all expenses paid getaway to a resort in Brooklyn
u) an all expenses paid jungle safari 2 Laptopistan [link]
v) Netflix [via lamestreamers]
w) a pair of TOMS 2 wipe ur ass with
x) a couple of GROUPONS [via poor+middleclass ppl]
y) an all expenses paid stint living in ur parents house until u r 30 years old
z) Choose ur own Xmas Wish

What r u getting 4 Christmas?
Do u believe in Santa Clausbro?
Are these alts 'totally authentic'?
Do they make u yearn for the glory days of 'hipster bashing' between 2k3-2k7?
Do u sing some sort of 'effing hipster' video abt the 12 days of Xmas?
Do u h8 visiting home?
Do ur parents 'get' ur personal brand?
Have u been running into any 'totally inauthentic exGFs/exBFs while u have been at home visiting ur parents who make u sad bc they live an inauthentic life'?
Did u get ur parents any sweet alternative CDs for xmas bc they will be able to relate to their 'vintage lofi pop sound'?
What is ur Xmas like?