Street Fashion | Hipster Runoff

Street Fashion

What genre of music would u get tattooed on ur body?

Photo via @chocolatebobka


Was getting pizza the other day at a local Pizza Hut/KFC/Taco Bell combo joint, and saw this bro with a "lofi" tattoo, aligning his personal brand with the lofi genre of music. It seems like this tatty probably means he lives a 'lofi' way of life, using a home studio and minimal recording techniques, trying to capture

Just wondering what genre of music yall would get tattooed on ur body. I know there are a lot of good answers for the year 2k10, but tattoos last forever. By getting a genre tattoo, u have to make sure that the genre will 'be relevant' forever. Seems like a difficult decision.

What music genre aligns with ur way of life?
What genre would yall get tattied on ur body?
a) lofi
b) hifi
c) Arcade Fire anthem core
d) chillwave
e) Indie
f) indy
g) rock n roll
h) 'rap'
i) dreamy nostalgic pop-lectro
j) fuzzy buzzy
k) dank core
l) California-style dank-core
m) ethnic lady screaming in2 microphone
n) 'every mp3 made, except in the year 2k10'
o) Napster-wave alt rock
p) horrorcore
q) juggalo poopy
r) autotune
s) witchy woman wave
t) cum-in-pussie-core
u) rock rock
v) Lilith Core
w) poopoo peepee conceptual music
x) Jim Carrey talking out of his butt Ace Ventura
y) Bieber lil erect peen tweencore
z) Miley Cyrus's wet vajenga
aa) dronewave
bb) idosecore
cc) butt buddy bro indie
dd) cooldad indie pop
ee) bloggy houses
ff) Cody Simpson
gg) Unchill azn bro
hh) Zooey Deschanel
ii) erotic sketch of WAVVES and Best Coast making love while smoking spliffs
jj) Disney tweenwave
kk) Choose ur own response

What genre of music will represent ur personal brand 4ever?

Is the albino blipster the most alt personal brand possible on Earth?

Photo by Ivan Rodic


Sometimes I wonder if people are born with personal brands, or if personal brands are carved by a person's upbringing + place in society. Like most questions in life, the answer is always probably gonna be 'a lil bit of both.'

I feel like some people are genetically gifted with either 'unique facial structures', 'mad skinny bodies with high metabolism', or even 'beautiful skin' which no combination of Neutrogena and ProActiv could accomplish. Some humans are simply 'more beautiful' than others, and some humans are simply more alt than others. Some humans have to 'overcome' tons of bad vibes in their lives', and some people surfed on chillwaves straight out of their mother's womb.

Sorta wonder what the most alternative personal brand in the world is....After seeing The Albino Blipster, feel like he might be #1.

First of all, being 'black' makes him more rugged & organic than all white people.
But his skin condition makes him 'post-back', achieving a tone whiter than most white people.
He comes with [FULLY LOADED] with 'all of the pain and suffering' of a descendant of Africa, but represents a 'white light', encouraging us to look at more than race, and instead to look inside of ourselves.
In addition, being a 'blipster' gives him an alt perspective on the stereotypical 'black' way of life.

Really feel like we are 'witnessing history'/'transcendent beauty' when we watch this albino model blipster bro. Seems post-human, with a personal

What sort of 'life challenges' does a person have to overcome to become 'auth alt'?
What do u think is the most alt personal brand / race combo possible?

Half icelandic, half portuguese?
Half Los Angelesian, Half Brooklyinite?
Half Utahinite, half Midwesterner?
A blipster who was adopted by ____________?
A California Style Mexi Bro?
A white kid from the suburbs of Maryland?
A child who was born over the Bermuda Triangle?
a child born at a music festival who was raised by buzzbands?
a child born from the virgin vagina of an entry level alt?

Do u feel like ur personal brand is bottle necked by your genetic brand?

Just wish I won 'the genetic lottery' and had the ultimate personal brand, giving me a look/human aesthetic that made me 'more than just another human'.
Want 2 be 'more than just another alt dunce dressed in retail'....
Want 2 have the most authentic personal brand in the entire universe [via aliens vs predators]

I’m hornie.

Photo by the Stereo Argonaut


I'm so hornie
Super hornie
Just a hornie raver bro
Gonna get some horns
and glue that shit 2 my head.

Would be 'mad alt' if I were some how able
to grow horns out of my skull
Sorta look like the devil

Kinda jeal of ram horns though...

They seem mad alt
like u can really 'butt heads' with people
both physically
and intellectually

Elephant tusks seem mad alt, too

Bet u can really 'gore up ur parents'
when they tell u that u can't go out
and that u are not really 'gay'
that ur just pretending to be gay 'just to be different'

Horny toads seem chill too

Horns seem aggressive
but at the same time
'just trying to protect myself'
from so many natural and social predators who are trying to dampen my vibe/brand

Piercings on my face
connecting my nose 2 my mouth
Raver bracelets on my arms
painted finger nails

They are all pretty sweet personal branding tools
But I just wish I had something that 'set me apart' from the crowd
without being a deformity
Something that made me look like I was 'half animal, half human'
Kinda like the wolf tweens [link]

I'm deviant
I'm dark
I'm hornie

Just a lil hornie bro
Might go 2 a rave

I'm hornie
Gonna make out with my bro

Erect peens
I don't believe in 'gender'
I just believe in <3, h8, and cum
bc I'm hornie.

R u hornie?
Are horns an authentic personal branding tool?
Do ravers come up with the best personal branding gimmicks?
Do u know where I can buy some horns, or do I have 2 kill an animal?
What is the most authentic animal with horns?

Is it still unchill 2 wear creatures? Will fur tankinis catch on in 2k10?

Photo by Pregnant Goldfish


I am trying really hard 2 'phase out' the Am Appy phase in my life. Just really trying to implement a personal brand that is post-thriftwave, but not really too 'corporate retail chain at ur local mall core.' Really difficult in our modern world. Feel like the world is a mall, and I am going 2 be stuck window shopping for the rest of my life (or until I pay off my maxed out credit cards that I used to purchase apple products + equipment for my new sound project).

Do u know if it is chill to 'wear fur'? I know a lot of ppl make a big deal about 'killing animals', and how 'it is wrong' since animals deserve to live their own lives', sorta like when humans turn 18. Just saw this hot ass girl wearing some sort of bikini / tankini made from a creature. I think it is either a mink or a sugar glider [via ur local PETCO].

She seems like a chill girl, like the kind u want to get to know + date for 1-2 years until some sort of 'epic breakup' goes down.

I am a huge fan of the tankini. I feel like it really 'liberates' women who are a little bit too 'heavy' to wear a bikini, but dont' want to look like a 'cow' in a 1 piece bathing suit.

Just want a curvy, comfy woman, feeling proud on the beach, not afraid 2 swim in the ocean, becoming 1 with nature.

Feel like the fur tankini is a pretty good look and it helps u 2 become 1 with anture.

Feel like this bro is 'jonesing hard' on this girl. Maybe because she is 'showing off tons of skin, or possibly because of her progressive tankini.

Are tankinis gonna 'catch on' in 2k10?
Do animals have rights?
Do yall know about any 'summer looks' that the internet trendspotters should know abt?

The Justin BiebAlt

The Justin BiebAlt has all of the good, wholesome looks of Justin Bieber, with a completely different, raw & edgy attitude. Instead of dressing in 'fresh hoodies', he was post-ironic vintage grunge gear. As opposed to using expensive shampoos, conditioners, gels and hairsprays, he lets sweat + natural oils sculpt his hair.

Wish I could be
the Justin BiebAlt

Photo by Fatale Femmes


It's sorta weird how 'Bieber Fever' took over America + Twitter for a while. It seems like he replaced the Jonas Brothers as 'the hot tween act.' I think ultimately the Jonas Brothers were a little bit too Christian to maintain their buzz. Justin Bieber is better because he is all about 'sex, relationships, and getting his tween pee pee hard.' That's something female tween fans want to hear a pop sensation sing about, so it was sweet that they got a big black man in the form of a lil white bro with swoopy hair.

From what I understand, part of Justin Bieber's marketability is that his hair is a meme. Not only does he produce MP3s, but his smile, face, and hair provide photo memes 'on the reg.'

He apparently was just a tween with a youtuber account, then Usher signed him because he was marginally talented and white. Little white girls buy tons of iTunes singles, so it seems like he is 'a perfect product.' Not sure about his shelf life, but he can probably 'bring in mad bank' for the next 1.5 years.

Maybe I'll grow my hair out into a sculpted bowl of beautiful, healthy hair. I feel like I might become a 'pussy magnet.'

Do u think it is better to be a mainstream Justin Bieber bro, or a Justin BiebAlt?
Which 1 gets you more 'hot chicks'?
Which 1 gets u 'more money'?
Which 1 gets u more 'alt cred'?

Wonder if it is 'alt' for men to blowdry their hair.

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I feel like the Justin BiebAlt doesn't have to blowdry his hair. He doesn't wash it for days. He lets it get all gross and clumpy, but 'wears it proudly', like he's still the shit.

Just want to go out for pizza with Justin BiebAlt, maybe pick up some 'hot pussy' and make out with them with pepperoni breath. Gonna wash it all down with a Dr Pepper.

Do u know n e 1 with a Justin BiebAlt haircut?
Did u ever have a strategically swoopy bowl cut?
Should men maintain their hair?
How many times a week should u shampoo?
Do u regret not doing everything u could to 'score underaged sex' when it was still legal because you were under-aged?

Is Justin Bieber the next Michael Jackson?
Is Justin Bieber the most successful artist in the history of the internet? Or is it Lady Gaga / the Black Eyed Peas / David After Dentist / Tay Zonday?

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Or is he 'just a little wigger meant to wet the panties of lil girls who sprouted their first pubes'?

Can people with curly hair be Justin Biebalts, or does their hair turn too clumpy?
Is Justin Bieber a 'winner of the genetic lottery' or is he gonna turn all gross after puberty, kinda like Jerry Maguire's hit child actor Jonathan Lipnicki?

Should I buy some XX dining room wallpaper?

Photos by Plastic Choko


I am always searching for ways to prove that I am 'the most authentic fan' of buzz bands. So many people just steal MP3s and share them with their friends to prove that they are 'true fans'. Some more authentic fans purchase vinyl editions of LPs. Some bands create iPhone apps / games for their fans 2 buy. Going to a live show can prove that ur a fan, especially if u take some sweet video footage with ur point and shoot camera. Buying the poster of a band can make u a legit fan according to people who enter ur college dorm room..

Feel like wallpaper is 'the ultimate poster.' Like something that will be in ur room forever.  Wall paper interacts with the space in ur room, turning a 'bland' room into something that is 'truly beautiful'? This bro decided to get some wallpaper that represents his love of the XX, 'mashed up' [via Girl Talk] with his love of dining. The fork and knife form an X, metaphorically representing where art, commerce, food, and society intersect..

One day, u will take down all of the posters in ur room when you 'become a new version of you', but wall paper is more likely to stick around.  Do u have better wall paper in ur house / apartment, or as the background of ur desktop?

What are some good ways to prove that u r an authentic fan of buzz bands? How can u create a meaningful product to showcase ur allegiance to a buzzband?

  • Grizzly Bear: Go hunting, kill a grizz bear, turn it into an iPod dock + speakers
  • Vampire Weekend: Go 2 the movies and see 'Twilight' on a weekend
  • MGMT: get ur MBA from University of Phoenix online business school
  • Beach House: have ur parents buy u a house on the beach
  • Crystal Castles: build a castle out of crystals
  • Animal Collective:
  • Panda Bear: go 2 the zoo and feed a panda bear mp3 players made out of bamboo
  • Washed Out: huff cleaning agents
  • Neon Indian: Go 2 an indian reservation, and paint some Native Americans 'neon', have them perform on SNL, kinda like Ke$ha
  • the XX: buy a bunch of Dos Equises, then drink them, and keep the bottles in ur room.

Do u know of any good ways to prove that ur really into bands?
What types of band merch do u buy?
Do u want some sort of dining room set that showcases ur love of ur fave indie buzzband?
Should I get a bunch of black clothes + turtle necks so I can copy the XX's brand, sorta like how teen girls dressed like a slut / Madonna in the 1980s?

What is the most authentic utensil: the fork, knife, spoon, spork, or chop sticks?

Do u think girls who buzz off sections of their hair are sexie?

Photo by HelLooks


Have yall ever seen girls who have regular girl hair, but then they use men's clippers to shave off part of their hair? It seems weird to me, like they are trying to break free from some sort of societal norm. Women are supposed to have long, beautiful, healthy hair, so any time a woman has short hair, there is a 'backlash' agains them, since they are 'trying to be a man.'

Do u think progressive sectional buzz cutting of women's hair is sexy / authentic?
Feel like this trend is for a type of altbaguette who are more than just rich girls pretending to be alt / tragic.

Should I buy my GF a set of hair clippers for her birthday to 'send a strong message' that she needs to step up her game and buzz off some of her hair?

Seems like u can buzz any section of your hair, and it will make you 40-60% more interesting

Photo by the Sartorialist

Does n e 1 know if Rihanna is alt for buzzing off part of her hair, or is it less authentic when a black girl buzzes off their hair since their hair is 'less manageable' than the soft hair of a white woman?

Should I buzz off the majority of my GF's hair against her will?
alice glass haircut Pictures, Images and Photos

Should I just give her a sensible fade / wedge haircut with hair clippers?

What is the most authentic hair style for a woman? Are bangs still sexy, or did Zooey Deschanel 'kill' that trend?

Is it time for women to start buzzing of sections of their hair?
Should all women be required to shave their pubic hair?
If a girl shaves off part of her hair, do u think she is probably a dyke?
Will women ever become as powerful as men?
if Hillary Clinton had a buzz cut, would she have won the President of the World Vote?
Are women with short hair 'intimidating', or does it make u want to tell them to 'grow their hair out, stop wearing pants, and get in the kitchen'?

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Might get 1 embedded in my jacket.

Photo by Stil in Berlin


Hey yall. Just looking at kewl new trends. I just saw this little critter that is chilling on a bro's jacket, but it also might be integrated as a scarf. I feel like I could use a little creature who is an extension of me. A lot of people buy dogs, cats, fish, and other mainstream house pets, but I need something that is 'high fashion' not just some mutt that I have a personal connection to. Always searching for new and exciting ways to differentiate my personal brand, taking it to the next level.

Maybe I should get one of these mysterious creatures and sew him on to my Am Appy hoodie. Feel like that might differentiate me from 'every other tween wearing an Am Appy hoodie.'

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Rlly need to buy one.
a) fox
b) tiger
c) lemur
d) sugar glider
e) wombat
f) muskrat
g) rat
f) wildabeast
g) ferret
h) golden retriever
i) kitten
j) ice panda
k) an animal collective
l) mini-deer
m) Tasmanian Devil
n) armadillo
o) komodo dragon
p) manatee
q) beluga whale
r) Brooklyn sea otter
s) aardvark
t) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Really want to jump on the 'animal fur' trend while there is a backlash against it.

Does n e 1 know how I can create one of these critter accessories? Do I just go to PETCO and purchase a pet to hollow out?

Is it 'mean' to get a real animal and murder it/ hollow it out?
do animals really have rights, or is there no difference between the meat industry and the exotic fur industry?
Is there really such thing as animal cruelty?

R u allowed to pretend that your critter is a puppet, and have it talk to people about relevant issues?
Have u ever worn 'fur'?
Have u ever killed an animal?
R u good at zoology: the study of going on zoo field trips when ur a kid?

I am the modern ice cream man.

Photo by Yvan Rodic


I am the ice cream bro
with ice cream on my shoulders
hungry 4 sweet, frozen, creamy treats

I am not the man
driving a truck thru the poor part of town
selling ice treats to children
I am the modern ice cream man.

Still want to be as approachable as the mainstream ice cream man
might attach a boombox to my wardrobe
and play inviting music
letting people know
the Ice Cream Bro is coming

Ice cream. So many flavors.

Kinda represents how many different personal brands u can have.
Every1 has a different favourite flavor of ice cream.
No1 wants to be 'plain vanilla.'

So weird how u can make a metaphor about n e 1 with ice cream.
White people = vanilla
Black People = Rocky Road
AZNs = Ramen
Mexicans = bean and cheese
Gheys = rainbow sherbert
Jews = Latke ice cream
_________ = ____________

some people like ice cream
some people like froyo
also known as frozen yogurt

wonder if when i grow past my ice cream phase
then get 'health conscious'
if I will talk myself into being Froyo Bro

Might even start a self-serve frozen yogurt chain

encouraging people
to get crazy serving sizes
with even crazier topping selections

capn crunch
molten chocolate
oreos
reese's pb cups
fresh fruit
weird azn shit
human hair

might just buy a trusted froyo franchise like Pink Berry

might just buy a Baskin Robbins franchise

So many flaves

so many choices
so many ppl in this world

maybe ice cream
is what will set us free
cuz it represents
how we are all our unique flavor
unless ur into froyo
then u can just pour ur own cup
and add ur own custom toppings

Laters,
Ice Cream Bro

Will ice cream shoulder pads be the hot new summer look?
What is more authentic: ice cream or frozen yogurt?
What toppings do u get on ur froyo?

Will hand warming sleeves replace the mitten / glove by Winter of 2k12?

Photo by the sartorialist


It seems like this has been the coldest winter ever, probably due to global warming. I feel like sometimes gloves / mittens / Zissou hats / pea coats / hoodies aren't always enough to keep u warm. As the Earth continues to grow colder, we will need to evolve and find functionally designed apparel that will legitimately keep us warm.

The handwarming sleeve is a perfectly designed tube meant to use your own body heat to keep you warm. The zone inside of the tube is a therapeutic sauna which can provide ur hands with the warmth they need to keep your fingers from turning to ice and breaking off ur hand / arm.

It perfectly insulates ur hands, and cultivates ur own warmth to keep u warm. Sometimes, life will require you to momentarily utilize the touch of ur hands / finger tips to accomplish tasks in cold weather.

Seems like even hunting bros who kill animals have utilized this technology.

I think that the handwarming sleeve brings the aesthetic of the fanny pack, but has more legitimate functionality.

Sorta also reminds me of ppl who keep their hands in the pockets of their hoodies in order to look humble / stay warm.

Can't believe NFL Quarterbacks have been into this hand warming trend for 20-30 years. Maybe Brett Favre is an innovator / thought leader on the field, and as a fashionista.

Quarterbacks require maximum hand warmth, even in cold climates. They must have a soft touch on the ball in order to throw tight spirals to their receivers. This may or may not be a metaphor 4 life.

Rlly need to order a hand warming sleeve from a sporting goods store / alternative retailer.

Free ur hands 2 do great things. The soft touch of ur fingertips will guide u 2 do great things.

Are handwarming sleeves the future of alt winter fashion?
Have u ever needed the touch of ur finger tips during the winter to finish some sort of outdoor installation / art project?
Are gloves / mittens 'mainstream'?
R u ready 4 summer?

Is the 'tube scarf' 2k10's first relevant alternative trend?

Photo by facehunter


I've been alive for a while. I have lived through so many different trend cycles and seasonal weather changes. It is always fascinating to see how our global meteorological climate can impact trends. As the weather rides waves of chill winds to winter temperatures, humans must find a way to 'stay warm', but more importantly 'stay in touch with relevant fashion trends.' Just because it is mad cold, doesn't mean u can sacrifice your alternative look.

It seems like the tube scarf is 'gaining steam' about becoming a solid option for alternative ppl who want to wear a scarf, but don't want to seem 'entry-level' about it. The bro in the picture really seems to be protecting himself from the elements, while looking 'like an interesting human being, based on the clothes he is wearing.'  I feel like the modern brand of the scarf is associated with a Jonas Brother/tween or something. Authentic humans must find a new form/function for the scarf, and you can see the flexibility of the tube scarf gives humans ultimate protection.

You can even bring the tube scarf over year head, so you don't have to look like boring ppl who wear 'lil beanies.'

Feel like I have read somewhere that humans want 'options'/flexibility, which is why Coca Cola makes multiple products.

Tube scarves seem to be an interesting, flexible look for both men and women. Like a trend that only 'bohemian consumers' could/would implement. Like some sort of high level band that only people who 'get' the alt scene would even know about.

Scarves are rlly dangerous territory though. I really want to stay warm, but I don't want to seem like I am 'trying too hard.'  Feel like suburban tweens wear scarves to 'look older'/seem like they are 'from the city.'

I will never forget the altstreamification of the keffiyeh/Palestinian scarf. Feel like I watched this trend evolve, much like a proud father watches his son grow into an NFL player.

Sort of wish I could be a mainstreamer/attempted-'hipster' who prematurely wore a scarf on a day when the temperature ranged from 59 degrees to 75 degrees.

Miss the era of girls learning how 2 crochet, then making ppl scarves as gifts.

Always start to 'giggle'/'scoff' whenever I see some1 of any age wearing a keffiyeh, the 'scarlet letter' of an entryleveler.

It is important to note that 'scarves' are simple items for manufacturers to make + get 'huge margins.' Really hope Target doesn't start manufacturing them.

Worried that an entry leveler will wear his Am Appy hoodie, a palestinian scarf, and a tube scarf all on the same day in 2k13.

I am happy that the tube scarf has given me the opportunity to strengthen my personal brand, and distance myself from winter accessory trends that have outlasted their 'useful livez.'

What do u use to keep ur neck protected from the elements?
Does a scarf fit in with ur brand?


Previous winter clothing coverage

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/02/are-palestinian-scarves-still-authentically-alt.html

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/the-pea-coat-mafia.html

Do yall think Old Navy fleeces will eventually 'come back' as an alt trend in a post-post-ironic way?

The Dorito Bro.

After pouring his beautiful heart/mind/soul into his last post, Carles was scared, afraid to blog again. Then the Dorito Bro was sent 2 him [via God] as a reason 2 blog again. This post is a celebration of the Dorito Alt.

Photo via lookbook


Planning a party, so many choices
Just want to facilitate a good time for all of my bros
offering the best drugs and alcoholic beverages
playing the best music
and having the most appropriate party snacks available.

I don't want people 'making a fucking mess' in my house
I don't want to spend too much money
I do want ppl 2 b able to 'grab n go'
I do want ppl 2 remember this partie 4ever.

It seems like there are so many choices in the chip aisle
No transfat, kettle chips, tortillian chips, chips made of the blue corn
Cheetos, Tostitos, Fritos, Doritos, Ruffles, Sour Cream N Onion, BBQ
Cheddar, Jallypenny, Cracked Pepper, Sea Salt, Vinegar
Brands presented 2 me by Frito Lay, Inc
and miscellaneous underground/indie chip brands
trying 2 'break thru' offering a healthy alternative to mnstrm chips
(much like the indie music scene)

I want 2 pick something healthy
but I want something tasty
maybe I'm messing up
and should be in the 'cracker' aisle
or perhaps buying some sort of 'spread'/'dipping concoction'
offered by the local Whole Foods

I trust Frito Lay because of the years, they have done so much
to innovate the chip industry

s0 many choices
s0 many brand loyal customers
s0 many manufacturing efficiencies
s0 many low prices

Seems like i might narrow down my choices
to Fritos, Doritos, Cheetos

Worried that ppl will think I'm 'boring' if I choose Fritos
Worried that ppl will get 'cheeto dust' fingers if I choose Cheetos
Doritos seem like a 'kewl' option.

I think it is alternative/authentic when your brand is customizable
or if the brand offers you multiple alternatives
so that u can choose which flavor truly represents u
From what I understand 'consumers are not searching for the perfect flavor, they are searching 4 as many options as possible.'

s0 many choices with the Dorito Brand

I really appreciate the core flavors

'Nacho Cheesier!' seems cheesier than just 'Nacho Cheese'

'Cooler Ranch!' is also extreme bc of the exclamation point in the name. It is as exciting as a band with punctuation in their band name.

Really could go for a full meal. Possibly a steak dinner.

Might 'cut back on the calories/fat' and eat chicken instead.

Pizza also sounds like a good option

If I lived in India, I would probably 'really dig' the Curry flavored Doritos

If I lived in ______, I would really enjoy the Rock & Cream Doritos.

'Damn.'

Not even sure who some of these are marketed 2. Seems like the Dorito CEO made a lot of these flavors 'just for shits.'

It's kinda kewl how their brand did 'mashups' kinda like Girl Talks.

I think this is another mashup for Aznz.

Think this flavour was meant 4 me since I am a 'late nite' bro who needs 'drunk food'

Might fly to Asia just to try this American flavor, or possibly just go 2 Taco Bell.

It is also xtreme 2 eat Doritos because they have 'drugs' in them.

Wonder if I can 'get fucked up' by eating a couple of bags of doritos.

Seems like this flavor is made out of horses.

I'm not sure what these doritos taste like. It seems like the are breaking free from the traditional triangle Dorito shape, providing a new dipping structure.

Doritos 3Ds also 'transcended' the traditional form+function of Doritos.

Eager to try 'human doritos.'

Hi. I'm the Dorito bro.

R u coming to my party?
"Friends, Food, Fun." -the description on the facebook event page
Description: "We're gonna eat a shit load of Doritos, drink Mountain Dew, and listen 2 bloghaus."

Sorta wish Doritos naturally existed in nature and we got to 'harvest' and 'export' them. Feel like it would save our economy.

What's ur fave kind of 'potato chip'?
What is the most authentic chip/party snack?
Do u have any party planning tips?
Are Doritos the most authentic alternative brand on the planet?
Is Doritos the new Chili's?

Which arts and crafts experiment will take ur brand to the highest level?


Hey yall,
As u know, I am a huge fan of self-expression [via arts and crafts]. It's like you can take any object and convert it into another more meaningful object, and the transformation process will give you an outlet 4 all of ur thoughts, hopes, and desires. For those of u who didn't go to a school that had arts+crafts activities, u can basically take household items and turn them into functional objects that look kewl.

I was browsing some of the world's most relevant fashion & trend blogs, and saw some kewl arts + crafts that I thought I should 'shine a spotlight on.' If u ever have any interesting craft ideas, please leave them in the comments. I honestly believe that we will only be able to find happiness through self-expression, through some method of design. But if ur not properly educated in 'design', then all u can really do is 'arts and crafts.'

Art + Craft #1: Showing ur faith in The Lord by Creating a safety pin t-shirt for him (a Justice t-shirt)

Photo via thefacehunter


This bro clearly 'loves the Lord', and wanted to make a shirt that was a tribute to our Lord Saviour Jesus Christ. Not every1 is able to mass produce shirts with designs on them, so sometimes you need to take whatever you have around the house and 'make it work.' Sometimes I will squirt toothpaste on my t-shirts in kewl lil designs instead of actually buying a t-shirt that has stuff on it 4ever.

I might make this shirt as an 'activity' with the community Bible Study group that I lead called Teens4Christ.


Art+Craft #2: Rat Tail Extension Kid


Many of yall are familiar with 'rat tails', but u probably didn't know that you could have them on any part of ur body. All u really need to do is create a rat-tail extension kit with safety pins and human hair. This is similar to black women who wear 'weaves', except this is for alternative people. It seems like if you put a rat tail in an 'unexpected place', u will get a better reaction. I have a feeling that 'safety pins' might be one of the most important fashion accessories of the next decade.

Kinda turned on by this, like I would want a girl to use a safety pin + rat tail extension as a clitoris piercing.


Art+Craft #3: A shirt with ur own face on it

Photo via YvanRodic


I am not sure if this is a look for every1, particularly if you are ugly. It seems like ugly people might want to wear a shirt with some1 else's face on it, but that also might make the person seem 'uglier.' This shirt is bold, letting the world know that u are truly 'all about U.' I feel like u have 2 be artistic 2 execute this shirt, or else u will end up looking like a crappy doodle.

'This bro is me.' - u, 2009


Art+Craft #4: Building a body suit out of duct tape and aluminum foil

Photo via drunkenstepfather


I feel like this look might only work for 'curvy ass bitches.' It seems like some1 else might have to make it for you by wrapping your body in duct tape. U might only be able to wear it once.

Art+Craft #5: Metaphorically Lynching urself

I have always wanted to show the world how much pain I have inside of myself, but without 'actually killing myself.' It seems like I don't actually want to kill myself, because that wouldn't really be noticed by enough people, unless I went on 'some sort of death rampage.' I feel like I might build an art+craft where I 'lynch myself', and make it seem like I am dead in public. As if I am Jesus Christ or something, and I was murdered by tons of people who don't 'get' me.

I love 'living' 2 much 2 kill myself, but I really just want the world 2 know that they don't 'get' me. I want them 2 know that they are slowly killing me.

/////
Just want 2 create shit
& express who I truly am
2 the world around me
looking at me
analyzing me
interpreting me
'u don't fckng know me'
'u don't fckng get me'
'I nvr thought I'd die alone.'

do u know n e fun arts+crafts activities?

Hope and Homelessness--Never give up on Personal Branding.

Photo via thecobrasnake


I saw this picture portraying a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, he had a pee pee accident as his dark yellow urine streamed down towards the star of a celebrity. I felt tons of emotions as my brain processed this digital image. Shame. Guilt. LOLability. Snarkfactor. Sadness. AmericanBeauty. Happiness. Loneliness. Fucksocietivity. Bloggy. Alive. Dead on the inside. Alone. Without a home. Metaphorical. This is the power of photography. A simple man who peed his pants in his sleep [via no home] can say so much about humanity, society, and the struggle 2 create a better life for urself.

The sad/beautiful image of the homeless man made me think of a recent post on the globally acclaimed streetfashion blog 'the Sartorialist' in which the photoblogger posted a picture of a coloured homeless man, then wrote an 'inspiring blurb'.

Photo and blurb by the Sartorialist:

I don't usually shoot homeless people. I don't find it romantic or appealing like a lot of street photographers, and if you asked homeless people they are probably not to happy about their situation either. That's why I was surprised to be so drawn to taking a picture of this gentleman.

I was being interviewed for an article in British Vogue; and while we walked down Bowery back in April I barely stopped walking when I took the shot. Fiona Golfar, the writer, asked why I took the photo. At that moment I couldn't really explain - but I just had a feeling about the power and grace of how he was sitting there. It wasn't until later that night when I was working on the image that I realized why I had noticed this man.

Usually people in this man's position have given up hope. Maybe this gentleman has too, I don't know, but he hasn't given up his sense of self or his sense of expressing something about himself to the world. In my quick shot I had noticed his pale blue boots, what I hadn't noticed at first were the matching blue socks, blue trimmed gloves, and blue framed glasses. This shot isn't about fashion - but about someone who, while down on his luck, hasn't lost his need to communicate and express himself through style.

Looking at him dressed like this makes me feel that in some way he hasn't given in or given up.

Damn. The bloggerbro's inspirational blurb is actually kinda true... It's like even though you might be the poorest, most worthless, homeless guy in the world, it doesn't mean that u can't have a little bit of pride 2 make sure that your clothes match. Never give up. Every day, u have the opportunity to brand yourself--you have the opportunity to let the world know that you are a person, and within this person is a brand which the whole world can consume.

Homelessness is not a disease--homelessness is the product of a group of people who have no pride. A group of people who don't play by society's rules. A group of people living in some demented reality, no longer in touch with the availability of legitimate intrinsic rewards through the power of 'creating.your.own.image.' We must inspire the homeless so that they can inspire us to do more than to take artsy pix of them. It is easy for photographers to take pictures of homeless people because they usually look 'insane', 'urban', and as if society has shat upon them.

A lot of people say that homeless people should 'get a fucking job'--now I firmly believe that they would get a job if they dressed nicely, and treated people with respect. It seems like they could some how get a job at an investment bank, or perhaps a McDonalds, similar to the plotline of the popular Will Smith joint 'The Pursuit of Happyness.'

After reading that inspired blurb, it sort of makes me want to tell this guy to 'get his shit together', and 'have a little bit of pride.' U can't go around pissing on urself and wearing lame ass clothes if you really want to turn ur life around.

It doesn't matter if you can't control your bladder, or if you are mentally challenged, or if you are having 'terrible flashback dreams.' Every day, you need to take pride in yourself. You need to realize that your personal brand is being interpreted by every1 who sees you. Do you want to depress your viewers? Or do you want to inspire them? Be a valuable person--not just to yourself, but also to society as a whole.

This is a blog post about hope.

Should I get an 'M.I.A. tattoo'?

Photo via StyleClicker


I'm really not sure what's 'kewl' n e more. Seems like we are in the 'longest dry spell' in the history of independent music, or maybe I am too relevant 4 my own good. I am thinking of getting some tattoos that serve as tributes to 'The Most Relevant Times of my Life.' Maybe some stuff like Justice Crosses, MerriweatherPostPavillion arm sleeves, and miscellaneous Paper Planes flyin' around my body like krazie.

I am also considering tattooing the 'best mp3s of the decade' on my forearm, so that when I am in public, I will always be able to generate conversations in which I can thrive. h8 when people get a ton of unrelated tattoos, and don't realize that tatties are art, and they are meant to tell a story about your life on top of your body. It seems like if I had a 'Paper Planes' tattoo, people would know that I was sort of 'floating in the wind' and 'just trying to crossover.'

Much like the song, I am not sure if the tattoo will have 'staying power.' Not sure if my kids will 'get it' when they are teenagers. Hope they don't laugh at me. Worried that my kids will 1 day be 'kewler' than me. Hopefully I can just keep checking alt Websites until I die so that I stay 'in the know.' Always want my son/daughter to know that he/she will never be more authentic than me.

what did u do 4 labor day weekend? I had a lil sleepover and we made yewtewb videos.

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Do yall think that M.I.A. is the female artist of the decade, since she was able to inspire mainstream lil girls to 'sing about issues' and 'make gun shot noises'?

If u had 2 get 1 tattoo that was a tribute 2 ur fave band/record label/lyric/music festival/alternative website/alternative concert venue, what would it be?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Will FUPAs be a relevant trend from 2k10-2k20?

Photo via GirlsofEbay


I am sure that 80% of the world is familiar with the FUPA, an acronym for 'Fat Upper Pussie Area.' It seems like after the mom jeans resurgence of 2k7, FUPAs were really just 'inevitable.' As females continue to grow older, their metabolism will slow down, and they will begin to gain weight. Usually women gain weight in their ass and thighs first. (Men are more likely 2 get 'bellies'.) It seems like this FUPA trend might be 'metabolically driven', as opposed to just a 'viral marketing gimmick.'

It seems like FUPAs are some sort of rare phenomenon, possibly caused by the form fitting structure of most altPants. Maybe as u gain wait, the tightness of ur pants 'shape' where fat is distributed. Seems like it might be a 'major health risk' or something. Wish that Parsons/Pratt would do some sort of 'study' about that, instead of just generating 'designers' who will work for mainstream brands. Seems like FUPAs might be 'trendy' but also 'unhealth.'

From what I understand, they sell 'butt pads' for women with no asses. I wonder if some1 will market FUPA pads, for skinny girls with a Skinny_Upper_Pussie_Area. I might add this as a product to iamcarles.com, in order to capitalize on tween females who are still 'rain thin' but want that extra 'padding' to achieve an older aesthetic.

(Did yall used 2 stuff ur bras when u felt like u had no titties?)

Feel confused about FUPAs, mom jeans, skinny jeans, and how health + fashion can counteract one another. Might buy velco orthopedic shoes for old people to have a post-ironic prsnl brand, but more importantly, to give feet/arc/ankles proper support, ensuring the load bearing capabilities of my footwear are optimized.

Do yall think that FUPAs will 'catch on' in the next decade?
Will alternative women gain weight in the next decade?

Will altwomen have to 'retire' leggings in 2k10?
Will the current alt generation 'gain weight' and how will it alter the future of fashion?
Do u have any health tips 4 'staying thin' besides 'shopping at Holes Foods and 'doing lines of blow'?
R u a bro with a FUPA?

My first design school project.

Photo via the Style Scout


Hey yall. Had a super busy weekend. I have been awake for the past 72 hours, doing tons of addy (adderal), a lil bit of blow, 5-hour energies, Diet Red Bulls, and even tapped into my 'emergency reserves' of Sparks. My first design school project is due tomorrow, and the critique is gonna be super hard. My professor was a guest judge on Project Runway, so I really need to impress him if I want to get an internship with some1 relevant.

The assignment was 'make a piece of clothing that represents u.' I chose to make a sweet jacket. I'm new to sewing, so I needed something that would rlly 'stand out' without exposing my technical flaws. I think the rugged aesthetic of my jacket really works. It looks formal, but also 'chill' since there is some denim. There's also a patch of my fave game, Super Mario World, on it. Really feel like this jacket is me.

I am afraid of my critique, yall. Afraid of 'having to justify' why my work of art exists. Not sure if I will 'get fucking grilled' for some of my design decisions. Worried that there will be some hi level art fggts who make better stuff than me. Worried about 'not being the best' in my class. Don't want 2 b made fun of. This jacket is 'actually me.' Just hope people accept me 4 who I am.

Still searching 4 my SUMMER LOOK: Football Shoulder Pads?

Photo via glamcanyon


I was looking for summer looks, and I noticed this bro wearing huge athletic shoulder pads. I think that they are supposed to be 'protective.' Might be inspired by 'all of the drama in Iran.' Like the whole world is about to turn into 'a massive battlefield', and we all have to be prepared for 'riot police'/'nuclear weapons being dropped.'

I kinda feel relieved that Obama is in office now. If George W. Bush was in office, he would probably make us 'nuke' Iran, and we would probably have to go to war with them. Would be hella worried about 'getting drafted.' Not sure if I want to be drafted into a war. No sure how that would go. Wonder if the military camps would have wifi. Wonder if I could take my Macbook, or if I could only use compys in compy labs. Wonder if I could still download relevant mp3s from mp3 blogs.

I don't wanna be drafted, yall. :-(

N e ways... Think that football pads seem pretty 'alt' in our modern world, but might become 'mainstream' soon. Might buy some 'leopard print' leggings to set myself apart. Just looking for a summer look.

Sorta reminds me of the most alternative bro of all time, John Alt.

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/the-worlds-most-alternative-athletes.html

Do yall have any good ideas 4 summer loox?

Will fannypacks be this summer's break-thru fashion accessory?

Photo via SBTVC


Still searching for my 'summer look.' I know that fanny packs have been something 'ironic' to mention since the beginning of time. But srsly yall...I think that fanny packs are actually really functional now that I have finished my design school curriculum. I was fortunate enough to major in Product Design & Engineering, and had a class taught by the guy who designed the first generation iPod Shuffle.

I feel like soon, ppl will want to carry 'less belongings' than ever. All u really need is ur debit card and ur smartphone. We will soon eliminate pockets, and either have specially designed pouches for specific items, or perhaps some sort of 'camelbak' that you can fill with the beverage of ur choice.

I'm not very creative, but I do come up with good ideas sometimes. Sorta wish that bars would sell pre-loaded camelbaks full of beer / well drinks / sparks / etc. Feel like it would make business more efficient, and decrease 'foot traffic' within the bar, allowing people to enjoy themselves' even more. U could even encourage people to 'bring in their own huge container.' Might just use a camelpak because I am worried about dehydrating in the summer sun.

Yall... I'm just looking for a better way to live--and I think the best way to improve your life is to bring as many 'kick ass products' as possible into your life. I don't really understand why 'we were put on this Earth', but I do know that u can do whatever is in ur power to make urself look kewl/have a 'functional wardrobe.'

might buy an iPhone 4.0

Previous Fanny Pack Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/fanny-packs

Sorta miss the days of sleeping over @my_boyfriends_apt

Photo by Glam Canyon


I sorta miss the old days, back when it was kewl 2 wear ur BF's clothes the day after you slept over at his place. Used to just usually be an 'oversized oxford shirt', but think the trend is expanding. Think it is a sign that ur 'seriously committed to some1'--like a cobranding opportunity. This broad is proud 2 show off that she 'spent the night' with 'a very handsome man' who chills in blazers and Oxford shirts. She even added some height by wearing some sort of platform shoes/shoes with rollerskates in them.

I feel like the 'swinger mentality' might be 'going out of style.' Think that it is important to be in a relationship, and find 'the 1.' As fun as it might be to 'put ur peen in a lot of holes'/'have ur holes filled by a lot of peens and fingers', there comes a time when u just need to grow up and get into a long term relationship. Some1 who will be there 4 u. Some1 who u can grow old with. Some1 who u can 'not get tired of' and 'won't resent them as u see them growing older and fatter.'

Might build a time machine and spend my youth 'becoming a twink' so I can get a 'bear' boyfriend and sleepover at his place, get 'rammed up my poop shoot' and wear his big clothes. Feel like that life might be a good one. Just wanna be with some1 who loves me/lets me wear his work clothes+buys me nice things.

Previous sleeping over at BF's and wearing his shirt coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/wearing-my-boyfriends-shirt

OR CLICK ON A GIRL FOR A VINTAGE HRO MEME

Wish I coulda slept with all of them.

Have yall ever worn ur significant other's clothing?

My personal brand is 'being a think piece.'

Photo by Easy Fashion


I am not your standard bro.
I see the world with a different pair of glasses, which are not 'rose coloured.'
I mix elements of Christianity and the Matrix in2 my personal brand.
I do not believe in concepts like 'time', 'space', and 'love.'
I do not find pleasure in any sensory activities.
I try to have 'no aesthetic' but unfortunately people try to call me 'fashion forward.'
I walk down the street and people stare at me. They wonder 'what is up with that bro.' They would never be able to understand what is up with me.

"I" do not "exist." I am just sort of here to 'challenge' people and their 'realities.' I make you uncomfortable because I do not exist for the same reason you exist. I am a conceptual bro. I want to make u 'think' about 'the big picture.' Want to make u ask 'why?'

I want to be noticed. I do not want to be noticed.

This is me.
These are my rings (collected while my family vacationed in Arizona and New Mexico).
This is my cross. This is my faith.
This is me underneath my dark hood.

I am sort of like a 'fameball celeb' who makes u wonder WHY/HOW ppl get famous.
I am a think piece.
I am more than just a human who is 'alive.'
I exist for a reason that extends beyond 'general humanity.'

Will buying a banjo make my personal brand more authentic? [via Sufjan Stevens Theory]

Photo via the Minneapoline


I have always wondered what instrument will help me seem the most authentic. I feel like too many people play guitar, and tons of people can play ableton/turntables, so I'm just searching for something that will make me stand out a little bit more. Would like to start some sort of authentic folk band and get 'significant coverage in p4k magazine.' Might buy a banjo. Feel like people who can play the banjo are always respected as pure musicians. Feel like people always 'respect' folk music no matter what.

Might buy a saxophone instead. Possibly start a 'pazz and jop' band like the TelevisionsOnTheRadios.

Might write an album about every state in the United States, and get it done before Sufjan does.

Do yall know what the most authentic instrument to be able to play is?
Or is it better to 'be a production genius' who is decent at every instrument?
Did ur parents get u musical lessons when u were a kid? Do u wish u took them more srsly so u could be in a relevant band 2day?

Thinking about writing a pilot for a new television show.

Yall. As u know, I am a very creative person. I am thinking about writing a television show. Please give me feedback about my ideas.

Think that I am going to cast two bros as the lead bros.

Photos via histiley

Bro #2 also seems chill.

Think that there are a lot of different directions 2 go in.

Might decide to cast a woman and have the bros be entrepreneurs.

Might make the sitcom about teen issues.

Might make the sitcom more of a 'teledrama' about dead bros in the alt scene and crimes and shit like that.

Might make the bros mutilate themselves' and film it. Will make them do shit like 'cut their peens in half' and other stuff that the Bam Margera/Johnathan Knoxville/Verne 'Wee Man' Troyer did.

Might import a funnie show from Britain and do my best to Americanize it so that it is 'critically acclaimed' even though it is empty.

Thinking about writing some sort of tween mystery show to get an authentic following of tweens who are both smart and lonely/not allowed 2 have BFs/GFs [via the Twilight audience]

Might make it a snarkie social commentary cartoon for adults only.

Might have an ensemble cast of alt people living life in a meaningful city.

Might name one of the bros in my sitcom 'seinbro' and have him get

Feel like maybe a reality show would work. might include 'fighting and death.' I have read articles that cagefighting is the new sport that people are into since 79% people only watch sports to watch ppl 'get severely injured.'

Do yall have any ideas for a good sitcom about alternative people in our modern world? Sometimes I feel like I can't come up with ideas that are original. Just feel so influenced by images from my youth. Wonder if I will ever create something that is totally my own, and not influenced by anything else.

Feel free to pitch some ideas in the comments section of this post, and I will relay your ideas to people I know within the industry. What types of characters + themes + plot + setting are necessary for the modern show that realistically portrays alternative ppl? Or is this show already on television [via GossipGirl/Skins/TheApprentice]?

What will alternative people look like in 2k45?

Photo via advancedstyle


Sometimes I wonder what we will be like when we're old, yall. Like will we still be the same size, and still look the same? Will we have grey/gray/white hair/go bald? Will we be like 'suddenly everything has changed' [via the Postal Servicing]? I feel inspired to 'stay young 4evr' by this beautiful old woman wearing an altbro colour palette.

I hope that when I'm old, I'm still able to stay 'fresh.' I just want to be kewler than my kids and grand kids, and I don't really want to let them experiment with trends that are doomed 2 fail. I just want them to be a lot like me, and if they ever stray from the path of authenticity, I will lash out at them, like I am deeply disappointed in 1 of their life decisions. Not sure if I even want them to be successful, but I think I just want to know that they aren't 'wasting their glory days.' Miss being seventween, yall.

1 day I will be on my deathbed (wearing Am Appy)
and I will look back on my life
and I will say 'i was a chill ass bro
who just wanted to have a good time
and there's nothing wrong with that'

Scared about getting old, yall. Don't want to lose 'the most important' parts of 'me.'
What do yall wanna be like when u grow up and are about 2 die?

The PattyWolfAlt


Yall. I have recently heard of this artist who is some sort of free-spirited twink from a forest/from the past or something. I am not sure what his gimmick is. He may or may not be a fashion icon. His name is Patrick Wolf. I have never heard his music, but I think he probably makes music that is worse than that Final Fantasy bro who plays a violin.

I think he might be like 'fashionable' or something in a way where ppl 'think he is interesting and awesome' just because he makes bold choices. Think he might be some sort of 'minstrel' who traveled in a time machine 2 the present, trying 2 bring a lil bit of authenticity to alts of tomorrow.

I feel like PattyWolfAlts might be invading local scenes. Seems like it must be a pretty intense lifechoice. Personally, I would probs rather just wear Am Appy.

Photo by the streetwalker


Not sure if PattyWolf Alts are twinks or post-sexuals. Feel like they just want to 'stand out' and possibly 'be fierce.'

Not even sure it Patty Wolf is a 'relevant artist.' Does n e 1 know some 1 who buys his records? Can some1 tell me what he sounds like?

Feel like the Brandon FlowersAlt/KillerAlt might be more relevant.

miss u

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier, yall.

The Karl Lagerfalt

Photo via Discofunbath


Yall. I pretend 2 'follow fashion' and 'know a lot about fashion design' sometimes, and I have heard of some bro named KARL LAGERFELD. I don't really 'know what he does' but I think he is 'relevant.' He seems to maintain some sort of brand that is similar to 'the bad guy in a movie' or something like that. I am not sure how long he has 'been around' or 'what he has done for fashion.'

Think he might be somewhere inbetween 'an old Mark Jacobs' / 'the ghey, lovable guy from Project Runway.'

Sometimes I feel like an uncultured suburban kid. Not even sure if I will wear any of his designs unless he does some Am Appy work. Sort of hope I get him as a teacher next year when I start at Parsons.

does n e 1 know this bro?
Does n e 1 know if alternative people are going to start dressing him, kinda like the M.I.Alt or the Viva La VidAlt or even the Ryan Adams Look Alike Bag??

'I used 2 rule the world.'
-the Coldplays

Photo via the Minneapoline

ugh. h8 fashion.
who am I supposed 2 b?
'sometimes feelin like life is just a circus, yall!' -brit spearsie

What is the most authentic portable gaming device necklace?

Photo via Facehunter


Yall. Just saw this blipster wearing a necklace with a Game Boy on it. I wasn't born when these gadgets were around, but I know that they were a pretty big deal. Kinda weird when people apply the whole 'vintage' mindset 2 technology. U assume that things 'continue 2 get better', but some people prefer aesthetics from the past. Kinda weird.

What portable gaming device would u use as a necklace?
a) PSP
b) Nintendo DS
c) Gameboy
d) Gameboy colour
e) Game Gear
f) blue Game Gear
g) Portable DVD player
h) Tamagachis
i) an iPhone with no music or service, but just games
j) a Super Nintendo tied around ur neck
k) a Wii controller
l) the band 'the Ataris'
m) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Hope that the increased demand for these old machines doesn't make the price go up. Need 2 get a good deal on ebay.

Previous HRO video game analysis
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/i-am-thinking-about-buying-a-new-video-game-because-it-looks-cool.html

Been thinking a lot abt my future. Do I want 2 spend the rest of my life with some1?

Note: Photo NSFW if u work in an office environment that doesn't allow Off-Road Strollers through their porno filters.

Photo by facehunter


Is there a difference between a girl who u want '2 hook up with' versus a 'girl who u want to spend the rest of ur life with?' Feels kinda weird how I feel like some girls 'aren't worth' 'taking home 2 meet ur parents' because ur parents would be like 'who is that skank'/'who is that altbro?' I am not sure what type of relationship u have with ur parents. Maybe u like to 'shock them' by 'telling them that u r in love with pieces of garbage'?

Or do ur parents 'worry about u getting some1 pregnant'? Or do ur parents 'worry that u'll get married too young and end up getting divorced, just like them'? Do u 'take pride' in ur significant others? Do u feel like when u tell ur parents that u r 'dating some1' that they respect u 'more', and say 'my lil kid has grown up--what a beautiful soul'? Do u have parents who 'get' u, and 'love 2 bond' with ur significant others because they can stop focusing on their failed marriage and start bonding through you + your significant other?

Just trying 2 find the best qualities in a woman. Want some1 who wouldn't mind pushing a dual-core ergonomic stroller through a public space with me. Want some1 who will 'love me 4 me.' Want some1 who 'won't start 2 focus on the kids' after they are born, and keep the attention on me.

It's hard yall. Not even sure if I am 'looking 4 love' or just 'looking 2 cum.' Hard 2 know the difference between the two. Feel like most girls who I would meet aren't 'special' because they are usually just 'the last skanks standing' at a weekly alternative club event. H8 how some 'relationships' feel like ur just 'getting off' with some1 until both of u 'find some1 who is closer 2 what u actually want/what u think u deserve.'

Not sure if I am 'happy with myself' so I don't know if I would every think some1 else is good enough. Guess I just wanna have kids so that my 'perspective on life' will change completely. Just wanna be a cool dad and raise a kid in an upper-middle class alternative life.

What do u want out of a relationship?

Think I just want some1 who will 'sit on a laptop with me all night' and 'make snarky commentary about a hit television show/reality show' that people in our demographic are 'supposed 2 watch'.

XX BONUS 'lil ball of turd' fashion XX

'poop' humor: big on HRO in 2k9.5? Or will I just stick with 'racist post-post-satire' that 'goes 2 far'? [via fearing AZNs]

Shin Guards: Big in 2k11?

Photo by Cobrasnake


Yall. I was looking at a high-end fashion website, and noticed a group of broads standing around with shin guards on. It kinda reminded me of the season that I played youth soccer until I made my mom stop taking me to the games cuz I didn't 'give a shit' about things like organized sports. Worst time of my life.

But yeah...Not sure if these shin guards are gonna be necessary because of some sort of 'ground creature' that will start 2 bite our shins. Or maybe since there will be more homeless people on the sidewalks [via the economy], we have to protect ourselves from them grabbing at our legs.

Gotta go to a local soccer shop in suburbia 2 get some shin guards. Might also pick up a 'David Beckham jersey.'

Which type of shin guard is more authentic?
The kind that wraps around ur heel?

Or the kind that is a lil 'free floater'?

Just trying to find out what would help me 'look kewler.'

Remember when indoor soccer shoes were alt?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/indoor-soccer-shoes-big-in-2k10.html

Might need 2 'get more athletic' in 2k10. Is smoking bad 4 u?

Just want a fashion forward girl who wears shin guards, or maybe just an AZN with a puppy dress [via Falcor]. :-(

"It Doesn't Matter if Ur Black or White." - Michael Jackson

Photo by Facehunter


I saw this bro, and I think he is a 'human metaphor.' I think he is sort of like a cartoon character that is supposed to help us think about racial issues. While his skin is black, he has created an environment where we mostly see white.

There is also a symbol on his sweatshirt which represents 'the white man.' I think it is probably another metaphor about 'something racial' like slavery, colonial rule, and the white man's adoption of hiphop culture. Sometimes yall need 2 do more to think about the power of imagery. Fashion is more than just 'trying 2 look cool.' Fashion is an opportunity to celebrate culture, comment on history, and make other people think, kind of like a progressive freshman English class with a teach with a passionate, liberal-minded teacher.

What do yall think this metaphor means?

Photo by The Cobrasnake


Think it has 2 do with Colonial America, and how black people were slaves, therefore the flag should be only black and white since there were no other races in America yet, and since society was 'upside down' the flag should be too.

How would u explain this metaphor? Is Michael Jackson a 60 year 'performance art piece' kind of like that zany Joaquin Phoenix bro?

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