Society | Hipster Runoff

Society

Is Kanye West a more significant role model for young, black men than Barry Obama?


I remember after the election, African American talking heads were 'totally pumped' that African American kids and tweens would no longer want to be rappers--they would want to be Presidents & CEOs & investment bankers & entrepreneurs for social change.

However, I don't think they really thought about the impact of Kanye "Paradigm Shifter" West, and how he is changing the way that all kids look at 'what makes rap cool.' Of course the ideals of Barry Obama are cooler than 'Gangsta+Violent Rap' and 'Having sex with big bootied women' rap, but I don't know if it is cooler than the consumer core ideals that Kanye West brings to the table.

I know that every rapper has a God complex, claiming that they are the 'best thing since sliced bread.' However, no1 has come even close to presenting a case quite like Kanye West. His desire to be 'the best' is unmatched, kind of like a rich tween whose parents let them get whatever they want at the local mall. This is way kewler+identifiable to white people who 'listen to rap' than any rap themes from the past.

This post may or may not be saying that Kanye West is the modern, consumer-core version of Uncle Tom.

Or is it a simple argument to call ever mildly successful African American in the arts+entertainment industry an 'Uncle Tom' because if he achieves critical or mainstream success, it will involve 'convincing white people that you are praise-worthy'? Or are they more like sambos?

Just trying to talk about race issues, yall. Sorry if this is 'too touchy 4 yall', but maybe u should go back to living ur anonymous life on the internet.

Does n e 1 know what happened to Barrack Obama? Is he 'not as cool as we thought' after all? Did we make a mistake?

who is yalls fave African American role model (besides Will Smith)? (Besides Michael Vick/OJ Simpson / Chris Brown)

I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween so I could create borderline pornographic content with my bff

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I wish I could be a tween again
Filled with spirit, a love for modern music,
a will to joy, and a desire to dance like no1 is watching

Record my dances on my Macbook
to upload videos to youtube
so that I can dance like some1 is watching.

Late night on youtube
spent in an endless vortex of RELATED VIDEOS
until I stumble upon (tm) tweens
who are dancing to a rap song
that is not very serious
but still very catchy and popular
because it is so approachable

Alone in my room on the internet
I look behind me
to ensure that Chris Hansen
from MSNBC's To Catch a Predator
is not behind me
watching me watch these tweens
dance like no1 is watching

I wish I could be a tween again
and have fun with my bff
and record a video
dance around my pink room
is my lounge wear
that is comfy/sporty--yet 'sexie'

I learned these dance moves
from watching television/rap videos on youtube
I kind of do them ironically
but there is something within me that wants to be sexy
(I don't know if I realize this yet)

I'm not a tween
Not yet a teen
Not yet a woman

This is a related video.

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Borderline Porn [via youtube]: big in 2k9?
Child Predding without the glasses--big in 2k10?
Getting lost in mazes of RELATED VIDEOS: the story of ur internet life?
Do u wish u had a Macbook when u were a tween?
Do u think these tweens are keuter than the previous showcased tweens?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/i-wish-they-had-macbooks-when-i-was-a-tween-new-hro-gimmick.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/i-wish-they-had-macbooks-when-i-was-a-tween-and-my-parents-took-me-on-road-trips-with-my-bff.html

R yall gonna buy ur daughter a macbook for her 12th Birthday?

I am planning a “Girls Night Out” With a Group of My Closest Girl Friends


I am planning a Girls Night Out with a group of my closest girlfriends. We will spend the entire night together. We will start out at my apartment, 'getting ready' while gossiping and talking about guys who we think are cute and attainable. We will also complain about the daily grind of out jobs, and how $30-35k is not enough for what we do and how valuable we are to the company. The majority of our paychecks go towards shopping for things like sunglasses and designer purses, and the car payment for my second class 'sports car.' My personal brand is mainly built around walking in and out of restaurants and stores, wearing my expensive sunglasses, carrying my expensive bag, and entering+exiting the car that I am 80% too proud of.


GNO will be amazing. We will drive to Chili's to make sure we have a full stomach before a night where we are dedicated to 'raging.' We will order appetizers, fruity drinks, and maybe split an entree. We will text message friends and guys to 'see what they're up to tonight.' After Chili's, we will go to a high-class bar because are wearing black outfits (or maybe a popular alt-nightclub because we are wearing our interpretation of 'hipster' gear). Eventually, we will find out where a group of mediocre guys are hanging out, and we will force our way over there. The will/will not be pleased to see us.

One of the girls in the pack will lose interest, slipping into a depressed oblivion. She is a 'chunky virgin' and has never had sex/has only had 1 boyfriend who abused her. Tonight, she was supposed to be liberated. Sometimes, popular mainstream hit songs come on in the club. We dance, and mouth the lyrics to the dance song which we should not be able to identify with. This moment is relevant, because it is a moment which we replicate inside of our 2nd rate sports cars while wearing our sunglasses that 'make us feel famous.' We are a powerful consumer demographic. We are responsible for 5 of the top 10 artists of the year in the iTunes digital store.

The night will end. We will talk ourselves' into what a great time it was, creating stories that we can re-tell for years to come. We go back to my apartment--where we prepared for the night. I will warm up some more appetizers from the frozen food aisle of my local grocery store, and provide a gourmet sweet treat. We will fall asleep, drunk, full, and numb. I have no dreams, but I wake up in the middle of the night to drink a glass of water.

In the morning, we will wake up, eat a carb-y breakfast, recapping the night with tons of laughs. My plate comes with pancakes, french toast, bacon, sausage, and eggs. It helps my stomach settle.
Girls Night Over ends the morning after. I get into my Civic and drive away. I put on a song that I heard last night.

Monday will come. Back at work. Girls Night Out will be 'just another memory that we can reminisce about [via commenting on one another's facebook walls so that other people will know that we know how to party].' We will be back at our desk reading gossip blogs, draining my employer's network by spending the entire day on Facebook/myspace, and dreaming of
a Life
where every night
is not
Girls // Night // Out.

Homelessness: Big in 2k9?


[Photo by YapSnaps]
2k9 is all about taking commonly accepted societal norms and throwing them out the window in pursuit of an authentic alternative life. For example, the concept of 'having a home' and 'a roof over your head' and generating a nuclear family from your own seed/egg. I've never wanted a 'real job.' I don't need to buy stuff to 'be happy' or 'express myself.' Take this homelessBro. His personal brand remains strong by utilizing an AltBro Concrete Bed Blanket. The primary & secondary colours represent moving beyond neon. He also implements a zany-core, yet functional shoe-tying method.

Homeless people are kind of like 'as close 2 nature as it gets', and they 'get' architecture because they are actually LIVING in the city. There's more 2 living in a major metropolitan area than 'walking 2 coffee shops/vegan eateries.' U don't KNOW ur city until u have 2 find a way to hunt, shit, and sleep in it. That's why I <3 NYC. I was homeless there for the first 8 months that I started my blog (blggd from the public library). There's more 2 life than 'a roof over ur head and 4 walls around ur face.' As long as u have a MacBook, u can do anything u put ur mind 2.

Important Questions about Homelessness & How Society Perceives Homelessness

Do yall give money to homeless people?
Whenever u walk by a homeless man, do u walk faster and grip ur purse tighter?
Do u consider homeless people 'sub-human' or 'post-human' or just 'human after yall'?
Is homelessness really a problem, or should we just let homeless bros chill?
Do homeless people only buy drugs when u give them money?
Why do s000 many zany homeless men pretend 2 'be veterans'?
R homeless people 'just lazy' and 'wouldn't work if u offered them a job'?
Is a 'drifter' a more authentic homeless man?
If a homeless man attacked u, would u kill him since laws don't protect people who don't own property?
Whenever u see a sleeping homeless man, do u 'get kinda scared that they are dead'?
Can we 'solve' homelessness by sending homeless people 2 prison?
Will Barry Obama do anything 4 the homeless, or just focus on 'the unemployed'?

But srsly yall... Ever since my parents got divorced I have h8ed what 'home' represents. It's like something that is meant 2 fail, but ur whole life ur taught that the world is perfect. Think we need 2 get rid of traditional suburban structures, especially since hurricanes are getting stronger and tear through most homes built after 1940.

"Home is just a bull shit concept. I am depressed."
-Zach Braff, Garden State (Homeless Guy Remix)

Has my life improved since Obama took office?


I saw this meaningful, pro-GHEYs altbro cuddling with Obama, and it made me a lil sad & reflective. Now that Obammy is chilling in the Oval Office, it's like I have nothing to look forward to. Maybe it means I've 'grown up a lil', but I just don't look forward 2 anything n e more. Am I depressed?

When I was a pre-alt, and an entry level meaningfulcore bro, I used to look forward to things. Movie releases, new album releases, 'shows'/concerts, going back home 4 the holidays to prove that my life was more meaningful than the other people I went to high school with who hadn't found meaningful existences. These days, I feel like there's nothing to look forward to. Maybe I'm scared of growing up. Am I 'losing my edge?'

I used to have a Rushmore calendar in my room that I would highlight important days of album/movie releases. Never 4get the day that I lined up at midnight to see the Royal Tenenbaums at 2 pm the next day. Or the Meaningful Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ( a movie about 4getting about the quirky girl who u r s0 0bsessed with, but every moderately alt guy wants a piece of her ass). To me, new indie films are kind of like Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Matrix/Beethoven releases.

//Just trying 2 figure out 'The Science of Sleep' ///
//Closing my eyes// Opening My Heart ( <3 )

Do yall know 'what the deal' with Obammy is? Why does he want 2 'go viral' s0 bad? Did he not have a 'traditional post-y2k childhood'? Are these lil vlogs the only way to reach the tweens of America who will be critical in his failed re-election in 2012?

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[via zany Saturday Night Live sketches that blogs feel like they have to 'recap']


Kinda scared. Read in a blog magazine that Barry Obama is a smoker. Does that mean he does blow off his blackberry?

///PART OF THE 2K8 ELECTION NEVER DIES.
R.I.P. GEORGE 'vonnegut' BUSH

The Crowning Achievement of Mexicalts/Altinos

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When I think of MexicAlts, I think of a lost group of peoples. I think of a group of minority alternatives who have trouble analyzing the modern tools of personal branding. I think of a brown skinned man who has not stepped in the sun in years, with his eyes torn out, standing in the middle of a mall. His hair is not of his natural colour. He may or may not be a cartoon character [via Anime]. He is able to forge his identity using 'alternative stores' within this mall. This results in the implementation of a Hot Topic-ish personal brand.

Mexicalts are not sure who they are. They are attached to who they were, and very interested in forging their future identity based upon who they were. This often leaves their personal brand with a very weird state. They are a walking pupu platter of what trends have been 'hot' in the past 5-10 years.

While this video has already gone viral in a 'wtfrotflmao' kind of way, I think it will live on forever as the meme/art that finally expressed who the Mexicalt people finally art. The song is a masterpiece, mixing genres in a way that shits down upon the golden era of rap+rock [Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, etc]. The video features all brands of Mexicalts, searching for an present identity without losing touch with 'who they were.' The music and their personal brands are beautiful, but u might only feel that way if are working on a thesis called 'The State of the Modern Mexican American (Born after 1985 [in the internet era])--MillenialMexis, Myspace, and a Shifting Cultural Zeitgeist | Throwing Away Previous Cultural Standards in an Effort to Fit In + Express Themselves.'

AltinosMexicalts consist of the following:

Is n e thing missing from 'what makes a Mexicalt?'

Do u know n e Mexicalts will ever reach 'authentic alt' status?
Or will they forever be in the late adopter/laggard group, targeted by alternative apparel companies who are looking for a brand loyal group of consumers?

Who do I want 2 b and how does my cultural background influence the person I am capable of being?
Will there ever be a Mexi President? ///////////////

"Housekeeping." [Read this title in a derogatory Mexican voice.] (NSFW)


It's kinda unfair how some people are born in2 situations which they can't control. For instance, when these two people popped out of their mother's wombs, their lifepaths were already set. One was destined to be a housekeeper at a high end hotel. The other was destined to be a girl who took n00d photos and railed dudes. I'm not sure which life path I would want. While one is a little bit more priviledged and means I would have to work harder, the other life option might make life a little bit more meaningful. The harder you work, and the less that is handed 2 u [via silver platter], the more meaningful your life probably is.

(Wonder how my life woulda been different if I wasn't middleclass/uppermddleclss when I was a kid? Would my perspective of the world be ttly diff or the same? Or would I have a 'chip on my shouldr'?)

There's just s0 many ppl on Earth, yall. Kinda feel 'blessed' that I have an opportunity to be the only me on this planet. It's a privilege, and I respect the process of choosing my authentic career and forging a meaningful personal brand around it.

[Photo by LastnightsParty]

Should I start reading books abt how my life is special & how I can do whatever I want?

Should I start going 2 church in basketball arenas to be 'part of something bigger than myself'?

Should I become a party promoter/positive ChristianBro? Should I stop being a trivial electro producer and start dressing like a bagmainstreamer who srsly plays the acoustic guitar and wants to 'make it' as a Christian band?

THNXGVNG


I am back home with my mainstream family. I feel so displaced coming back to suburbia. It's like I don't even have a home n e more, and I can finally relate to the theme of most indie movies made from 2000-2005.

I look across the dinner table, and wonder who these people are, and how they have forged my independent spirit. They have no knowledge of what I know and what I have seen, but some how, they made me into the person I am today. While I am thankful for my parents' support, I wish I could prove to them that I can make it on my own. I wish I could prove to them that there is a reason that I live my life the way that I do.

This will happen one day.

They see me, and they don't quite 'get' me. Perhaps they are just relieved that I am pursuing a degree. Perhaps they are relieved that I am not a 'ghey' like they probably thought I would end up being during high school. Sometimes I wish I could authentically communicate with them in the same manner that I communicate with a group of my closest friends when I am buzzed. But that will probably never happen.

Part of me longs to get this table of people who I am related to [via blood] to 'get' me, but the alternative part of me wants to stop honoring mainstream concepts like bloodlines and family.

*****
I look around my childhood room, and I take a moment--a moment to think about how far I've come. I used to be so disillusioned/impressionable/out-of-touch-with-reality. Now I know who I am. I know what I will become. I take solace in this fact.

What am I thankful for?
I am not sure.
I am sure.
I know.
I know what I am thankful for.

//// What I am thankful for.
////// by Carles

I am thankful for social networks, a place that helps me express myself and connect with friends.
I am thankful for blogs, a form of media where I can truly express myself without the constraints and excess noise of social networks.
I am thankful for my friends because they help me to feel better about myself after I find out how sad/alone they are bc they have parents who didn't love them as authentically as mine love me.
I am thankful for Napster for creating the mp3.
I am thankful for Mark Zuckerburg and Tom for being my friend.
I am thankful for vegan bc it made my family make me a 'special lil meal' at the Thanksgiving table.
I am thankful for computers for making electro too accessible.
I am thankful for Apple for creating the iPhone so that I can do lines of blow off it.
I am thankful for Macbooks and iMacs for giving me the opportunity to 'connect' and 'create' to build my weblog website thingy.
I am thankful for Fiji water for giving me the opportunity to differentiate.
I am thankful for frozen yogurt for giving me an alt+healthy 'smart treat.'
I am thankful for Justice for being a meme that can be blogged about until they make a new album and inauthentic people will 'say it is good' but they will just be holding on to how the world used to be/who they used to be.
I am thankful for party photographers for 'going out' so that we don't have to.
I am thankful for girls who show their breasts in party pix for coming from fractured families.
I am thankful for child predators who made child predator glasses possible.
I am thankful for Anthony Volodkin for creating the Hype Machine and adding value to the long tail of meaningless, crappy, terrible, unjustified, poorly written music blogs.
I am thankful for the man who invented the remix.
I am thankful for cool dads who drive Priuses.
I am thankful for free spirited moms who drive Lexus SUV hybrids.
I am thankful for free spirited moms who make 28K per year and dress like they just came out of a dumpster.
I am thankful for my blog bffs for posting a few good songs per week so that I don't have to listen to the crappy mp3s that entry level producers send me [via email].
I am thankful for street fashion bloggers for being the kind of people who 'still carry a camera around with them every where they go' (this is what people did when digital cameras came out, but now with camphones, it's a whole new landscape).
I am thankful for tumblr for taking the meme economy to a place we never thought it could.
I am thankful for people who hang out on message boards who 'have opinions.'
I am thankful for people who are trying to take their alternative personal brand to the next level.
I am thankful for Sparks for keeping me awake when I am abt 2 fall asleep at 1 p.m. every day.
I am thankful for my boss at my 'real job' not knowing what Sparks is, so that I can drink it at my desk at work.
I am thankful for blow.
I am thankful for sluts in bathrooms.
I am thankful for God, for creating people of all colours.
I am thankful for AZNs.
I am thankful for blipsters.
I am thankful for Obama.
I am thankful for MexicAlts/Altinos.
I am thankful for white people for oppressing s00 many people, enabling some of the most 'bad ass' art which has inspired college dorm room art for mnstrm bros.
I am thankful for my brother who doesn't 'get' me.
I am thankful for my sister for 'trying to understand me.'
I am thankful for airlines so that I can fly abroad to find myself.
I am thankful for Australia, France, the UK, and other altCountries for passing laws which legalize study-abroad programs.
I am thankful for HIPSTER RUNOFF.
I am thankful for Carles.
I am thankful for 'meaning.'
I am thankful for authenticity.
I am thankful for finding a place where people who 'see the world the way I do' go to talk about life.
I am thankful that Carles 'gets' me.
I am thankful for me.
I am thankful for my personal brand.
I am thankful for American Apparel for creating a simple, yet [highly branded] way for me to express myself.
I am thankful for Barry Obama.
I am thankful for the War in Iraq for helping our economy through tough times.
I am thankful for the Financial Crisis for giving us something 2 blog about.
I am thankful for Sarah Palin, the meme of 2k8.
I am thankful for trivial electro producers.
I am thankful for RSS/GoogleReader.
I am thankful for my brain for letting 'memes' happen.
I am thankful for ________________.

What are u thankful 4?
Do yall know what the first alts served at the first THNXGVNG?

(miss u)

//wish u were here [via miss u]

What does ALT mean 2 u?

A lot of people come 2 my blog and comment with stuff like 'I h8 all of this hipster bull shit. I am so above it and h8 how all of yall r. Nvr want 2 b like u."

But this isn't a blog about hipsters. This is a blog about alt. A lot of people don't know what "alt" means. They are not sure if it is like "alt-rock" from the 90s, or some sort of zany interpretation of "alternative." Alt is authentic. Alt is sillie. Alt is a three simple letters that tie us together. We are alt. We are a part of something bigger than ourselves'.

I received an email from a concerned reader:

I kinda have a problem. My sociology class has been assigned a collective project; to assign twenty specific and significant stereotypes to our school. It was a fairly easy assignment until I was confronted with a question that I honest-to-godspeed did not know how to answer. Everyone was just sort of spitting out their favorite social groups to be written on the board. I finally got my word in for Alt, but it raised a bit of a tumult in the classroom.
People demanded to know what Alt was. I was dumbfounded by their idiocy...but then I realized that I really didn't know what to say.
I described an Alt to them.
I explained what an Altbro looks like, entry-levels too.
I told them about the characteristics of an Authentic Alt.
But I couldn't even provide a decent definition for any of the three.
S0//DESPAIRED//
////EMBRSSD////
/FRUSTRATED/
I've been depressed ever since.
plz help
HOW DO YOU DEFINE "ALT"?

HOW//DO//U//DEFINE//ALT?
AN ESSAY/MEME CONTEST PRESENTED BY THE POPULAR WEBLOG HIPSTER RUNOFF

A lot of people don't know the difference between "HIPSTER" and "ALT."
It is ur job as an informed citizen 2 let the ppl know what the difference is. How is 'alt' different than anything else that has evr come b4?

"Hipster" is a term for mainstream news publications & startup 'progressive' journalistic outlets 2 talk about to cultivate interest in what they are doing with people who use the internet.

Remember that time that Adbusties wrote that article that every1 was s000 'up in arms' abt?
If ur going to write an article/opinion piece about hipsters, u must have phrases like these in ur writing:

  • "an army of drones wearing American Apparel"
  • "with a can of PBR/sparks in hand"
  • "nonchalantly gazing past the DJ"
  • [statement about lighting a cigarette]+ [statement about moving hair out of eyes]
  • "armed with their parents' money"
  • "after reading the latest blog post"
  • "coffee shop glistening with the glow of Macbooks"
  • "iPods filled with music from __________"
  • "blinded me with the brightness of his tshirt"
  • "vapid _______"
  • "hoping to end up on a party pictures site the next day"
  • "after inconspicuously coming out of the bathroom"
  • [Anecdote about how some bro doesn't take life seriously]
  • [Anecdote about selfishness]
  • [Anecdote about unprotected sex]
  • [9th grade English class commentary abt 'consumerism']
  • 'bohemian'
  • 'cannibalize'
  • reference to 'Vice Do's and Don'ts'

[Please note that from the years 2000-2015, every journalistic entity will be required to have a progressive opinion piece on the 'hipster' and what it means to 'society' which will cause ppl to be s00 mad abt 'hipsters' (& old people will ask u what a hipster is after they see it).]

Should I go 2 journalism skewl s0 that I can write hardhitting opinion pieces on 'why culture is s000 bad' and how 'things r worse than evr' cuz 'every1 is s00 full of shit' & we r just 'a bunch of consumers' kinda like 'another brick in the wall' but 'gen y thinx they r s00 special' but 'they're not' bc 'they all look the same' but they 'don't even realize it' cuz they 'didn't even g0 2 college' or 'they did but they don't care' and how in the end, 'we all eat at Chili's'?

We/just/want/2/talk/abt/ourselves/&/find/out/who/we/r.

Here is another keut piece about 'hipsters' and how it's 's000 sillie' that 'no1 admits 2 being 1.'

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Video may not be viewable in ur RSS reader.
[via SB&TVC]

Remember when the HIPSTER OLYMPICS went viral? (h8 it when memes are no longer viral // miss u)

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n e ways...
just trying to say, there is a huuuge difference between "ALT" and "HIPSTER."
We have a chance to get authenticity back from bull shit mainstream labels that don't even capture who we are.
Are yall with me? YES WE CAN.
This is the era of alt. I'm excited.

No more Bush. No more 'hipster.'
More Barry Obammy. More 'alt.'

h8 labels. Just want to be who I really am and transcend labels.


The winner's meme/essay/cmmnt/meaningful vimeo video will be published on the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF. You will also receive a meaningful email from Carles.

"I'm not a hipster. I'm alt."
-Carles, 2k8

THE BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES OF 2K8

s000 tired of Halloween. It's like I've been blggng abt it 4 the past blog-decade. Just wanted 2 find authentic costumes.

not even sure if i'll dress up nxt year. this year took a lot out of me. Not evn sure who I am n e m0re. sux. kinda let down. nite didn't go as I had planned/envision. h8 it when things fall thru.


HIPSTER RUNOFF's BEST ALTERNATIVE COSTUMES of 2008.


PRESENTED BY CARLES OF THE HIPSTER RANOFFS

The Justices

Girl With a 3rd Nipple on her back

FGGT Indian from the Village People

S0 FUCKING DISC0 BR0

AltWayne and AltGarth

HeartsRevolution PaintedMask Ninja Turtle

JokerAltMainstreamer Pack

////KEEP READING///
////FOR MORE GREAT////
////HALLOWEEN KOSTUMES!////

Are French Robots Allowed 2 Vote?


Does n e 1 know how elections work? I have been reading news websites and there is one coming up. Does ne 1 know how to 'create.my.own.vote'? I'm not sure if there is some sort of iPhone app that I am supposed to add to my Blackberry, or something like that. Also, I am friends with a few robots & creatures from the electro jungle. Are they allowed to vote if they weren't born in the United States?

Does the election happen every year?
Do the candidates ever release mp3s that get posted on hypemachine?
Is every blog on the internet supposed 2 'endorse some1' kinda like a newspaper?
How does this stuff work, yall?

I'm also kinda worried about what will happen 2 the world after a 'new bro' is elected? Do u remember the personality type of your fellow classmates who 'wanted to be a politician' when they grew up? Have yall ever chilled with politicians in real life. Are they like a (High School Class President)^10000 ?

Hope the w0rld doesn't end. :-( Just want 2 beLIEve.

Daft Punk

DJ, Buzzband

Daft Punk is a French House band that 'peaked' with discovery.

Read more>>>>

Still searching 4 my ideal Hallowen Costume

Halloween is coming up in just a lil bit.
Kinda getting anxious about 'what I'm gonna be.' I might have to go to the doctor to tell him I need some more of my anti-anxiety pills cuz I srsly can't handle this kind of pressure. H8 dealing with real life + issues that no1 else understand.

N e ways... what should I be for Halloween?

Think I might end up just being DarkHearted Mickey Mouse.

[Photo by GlamCanyon]

I might just settle for being a Hotdog/ popular DJ with dancing edible items. I heard having dancing objects is the new MASKED DJs. PNAU implemented this gimmick a while ago.

Should I be a 'think piece' costume that represents Crimes Against Animals?

Should I just make a costume of an animal utilizing real animal fur? If I end up doing that, I might be a panda/polar bear/manatee.

should I be Girl Talk on a bicycle going to pick up some xtreme MTN DEW at his local grocery store?

Or maybe just a Black Eyed Pea Alt. (blipster)

[Photo by GadeMode]

Maybe I'll just be Alice Glass in 20 years.

Unless yall speak up, I'm just gonna be Juicetise.

[Photo by Style Clicker]

Do yall have a costume yet?

Should I be NIKE 4 Halloween?


Just learned how to make this costume. Arts & crafts help me 2 express myself. I've always wanted 2 b 'black'/a sneaker for Halloween. Are Nike sneakers still authentic? I remember I blogged about 'tennis shoes' like 100 blg years ago.

[Sneaker shoe Via Craftzine]

Maybe I'll just be a zany maze guy. It will represent how I am 'lost' and 'trying 2 find my way in the universe.'

Or I guess I can just grow a stache and wear a 'Beatles wig' and be a MSTRKRFT (masktercrafts).

Guess I'll just have to stick with Jeffrey Dahmer dressed as Justice unless yall can think of some1 better.

[via the google images database of funnie pix]

Should I be Joustice for Halloween?

[Image by thecobrasnake]

Should I be Justicing for Halloween, or should I be the AZN in the background who is depressed about the economy?

Or should I find some1 to be an Alternative Interracial Couple? [AltBro+AZN edition]

[Photo by Red Slurpeee]

PPL keep telling me that I need 2 b 'the zany guy from Empire of the Sun.' The trouble with that is that I don't even know which 1 is the zany 1 !!!!

Or should I go as "FGGT" from the movie Tokio Hotel: Dunston Checks In?

Halloween is basically 5 blog minutes away...
GIVE ME SOME GOOD IDEAS. (Doesn't help that I did blow off my white MacBook lappy earlier.)

Monitoring the Blippest Blipster Alive


Can we officially name this Blipster "The Blippest Blipster Alive"? I know he may not be the traditional blipster who can only express himself with a tall tee (+ large print text) and some 'fly kicks', but I feel like if Blipsterdom had an 'essence', this bagbro would probably transcend it.

[Photo by EZ Fashion]

Or do u think we need to consider some other BlackAlt, like the TVoTR guy?

Or is it Santogold?

Or after recent events, can OJ Simpson finally prove that he is 'the altest man' within a mainstream society that can't handle his personal brand?

When some1's personal brand is so strong, can mainstream society contain them? If your personal brand is so strong, do the laws which govern most people no longer apply to u?

Remember when HERTZ rent-a-car decided to merge their brand with OJ Simpson's personal brand?

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So who is the alt-est Blip in the world, and what sort of criteri(on collection) would u use 2 judge him/her?

Dealing With Tragedy: The Power of a Youtube Tribute

A new theme that HRO will continue to explore is coping with tragedy. As the internet evolves, our society (and tweens) are finding modern ways to cope with loss and/or tragedy. For example, there were the infamous 9-11 alts who ended up on their city's local news. Was wearing replicas of the World Trade center too much, or was their perspective just too progressive for most people?

Is there an authentic space that exists where we can truly pay our respects by honoring our genuine perception of the event? Where is the line between 'funnie', 'inappropriate' and 'as terrible as it could possibly get' when it comes to modern coping.

Here is this video tribute to DJ AM & Travis Barker. They were in an accident that you wouldn't wish upon any one. As the internet evolves and tweens have dehumanized celebrities into fake entities, will this be the future of 'authenticity' when it comes to dealing with loss+tragedy?

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These girls have communicated at 100% capacity, conveying their complete perspective on the TRV$ DJ-AM plane crash. Should I find this offensive, or representative of reality?

h8 yall

MTV is discovering stuff that’s alt. Does that mean it’s not ‘alt’ n e more? [BEWARE OF THE MAINSTREAMERS]

Lately, MTV has been doing these in-depth investigative journalism pieces about parts of the world no1 has ever heard about. I wanted to share these rlly informative pieces with yall, because I assume that if you read this blog, you are one of the most culturally-connected persons within your local community. You are a first-line tastemaker, and you deserve to know about [EXCLUSIVE] stuff like this.


Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris' never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it's like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER

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Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called "Portland, Oregon."
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Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other 'second tier' cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole 'alternative gimmick.' There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili's employees in every city, so I hate when a city's personal brand revolves around 'sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.'

I'd say Austin, TX is pretty good example of 'shitty city who is gimmickifying it's underwhelmingly-alternative brand', too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I'll give the edge to Portland when it comes to 'moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.' No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don't you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as 'heaven on alt-earth'? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her 'partying phase' and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

  • Perception of being 'green'
  • Perception of a bustling 'local economy'
  • A high 'basically unemployment' rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
  • An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
  • An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
  • An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky 'interesting' music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend's band who sound exactly like _______
  • Overhearing the 'future plans' of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
  • An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
  • An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
  • Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on 'what is currently cool' and usually just rely on 'liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.'
  • A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
  • They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly 'marches.' Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against 'The War', and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
  • These cities have significant populations of 'cool dads' and 'free spirited moms' by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply 'participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.'
  • A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the 'hip side of town' feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland 'show me around the alt side of town' and then 'take me on a tour of their business district'?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

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Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. "Justice" was a concept invented in America, so it doesn't matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There's no such thing as a 'city' n e m0re, yall. We're all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can't believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I'm just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

What is a lifestyle brand?

Sometimes I'll get pretty into a band, or a t-shirt company, or any other sort of business, and I find out that they are not what I think they are. They are in fact 'a lifestyle brand.'

According to wikipedia:

A lifestyle brand embodies the values and aspirations of a group or culture.
A successful lifestyle brand speaks to the core identity of its customers. Individuals each have their own sense of self, based on their background (e.g. ethnicity, social class, subculture, nationality, etc.). A lifestyle brand provides a powerful supplement to this core identity, by allowing the individual to publicly associate themselves with the brand. 

Alternative lifestyle brands are the present and the future of the arts & entertainment industry. Bands will no longer be bands; they will be lifestyle brands. Designers are lifestyle brands. Films must exists as lifestyle brands. Blogs and Websites are lifestyle brands. Humans will be lifestyle brands.

In order to be a lifestyle brand, you must do any combination of the following:

  • Make Music
  • Make T-Shirts
  • Make totebags
  • Have an e-commerce website
  • Have 'inventory' of something cool within your apartment
  • Participate in yardsales/own a vehicle from which you sell your goods from
  • You have hired your best friend as a 'designer'
  • Have placed an ordered in bulk quantities from American Apparel
  • Have a myspace page with 500+ friends
  • Have exchanged emails with another 'lifestyle brand' about collaborating to make a cross-brander product
  • Have a logo
  • Have a website with over 100 images
  • Have an internship program
  • Have executed a 'guerilla' and or 'viral' marketing campaign
  • Have been blurbed in an alternative magazine or blog
  • Other crap that I'm sure people will cmmnt about

The best part about being a 'lifestyle brand' is that you are really easy to blurb about in alternative magazines that people may or may not read/take seriously. You supply writers with multiple 'talking points' that they can reference in blurb-style mentions. For example, HEARTSREVOLUTION.

Part of being a lifestyle brand means you don't have to know what the hell you are talking about. Here is an interview with some people who work in an ice cream truck.

Lifestyle brands are the only way to reach alternative markets. If you are a band or a business, and your audience is not willing to let you steer their identity, then you should not exist. We should all strive to be lifestyle brands, and take over the psyches of your friends, family, and any one who ever encounters you. When other people see you, they should say, "I wish that person made a t-shirt that I could wear so that other people would know that I associate with him/her."

For example, these kids love the Ed Banger Lifestyle Brand.

Should bands stop being 'bands' and start being 'lifestyle brands'?
Do you know any one with a startup lifestyle brand that deserves to be blurbed about on HRO?
When will HRO officially be a lifestyle brand?


XX BONUS LIFESTYLE BRAND COVERAGE XX

A few of my favourite lifestyle brands:

  • Communist China
  • Nike
  • Michael Jordan
  • Pedro Winter/Tommy Banghalty
  • Supreme
  • McDonalds 50 Piece McNuggets
  • Pizza Hut 'Book It' Program
  • Broken Social Scene
  • Erlend Oye
  • Apple Computers
  • Google
  • Wal Mart
  • Rickrolling

What are your favourite and least favourite lifestyle brands?

: Remembering Steve Jobs Via My Consumer History


RIP Steve Jobs... U were more than just another bro who walked the Earth searching 4 entry-level happiness.

My Apple Personal history.


My parents wanted to buy a 'family computer' because that's what good, middle-class parents were supposed to do so their kids didn't end up 'dumb'/so they could type papers instead of having to handwrite them 'like a poor'. Back when we were tweens, Macintosh computers were branded as 'being educational.' They bought us some Performa Machine. It was kinda weird, but had sweet games. External modem. Back then your computer was 'baller' if it could play CDs. Hung out in 'At Ease' before Windows 3.1 became mainstream relevant [via Gateway 2000 cow boxes.]

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Then Macs/Apple kinda disappeared 4 a while.... Rode some PC waves thru the Napster era/entry-level high speed internet era

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I had just started college. iPods came out a few years before, but I am not sure why they didn't seem like that big of a deal to me yet. Maybe I cherished the CD Binder/Tower lifestyle too much. My roommate was some bro who was all 'Check out my iPod.' I was sorta jealous. It was probably my first exposure to the modern vibes of tech envy. I still walked around with a portable CD player. He would take pictures of himself in the mirror, showcasing his white earbuds. He wore System of Down tshirts.

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I was dating this girl who had an iPod mini. I told myself that it was 'the right product for me'. I vibed on it. This was probably one of my most meaningful eras of music. Right before the MP3 was 'completely devalued'. I thought that little machine was a 'box of buzz magic.' It was probably also one of the first 'expensive things' I bought 'without my parents money', so you probably feel a little bit more proud of it, even though u get older and can wipe ur a$$ with Apple products now.

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I won some iPod shuffles in a contest. I gave them away like candy, giving all of my friends and family a taste of the good life. A taste of the entry-level iPod lifestyle. I still believe you only need about 512 MB of music on any device 2 be completely satisfied and engaged with ur portable mp3 listening device. The Shuffle/Nano lifestyle made me confused when ppl wanted their entire library of music with them at all times.

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I was dating this broad who had an iBook. I felt insecure on my crappy Dell laptop. Several months later, I made my parents purchase an iBook for me bc I told them it would help me in school. Remember when Dell tricked every1 who was going away 2 college's parents to get them Dell desktop/laptop with 'educational discounts'?

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1 GB white iPod nano. It ended up in the washing machine. Several years later I plugged it back in and it worked perfectly. U gotta give Steve bro props 4 that 1.

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I bought some black Macbook. It seemed 'way cooler' than the entry-level white Macbook, but still probably felt insecure next to ppl with Macbook Pros / Powerbooks. Without that Black Macbook, there would be no HRO. It crashed a few times. It also overheated on the reg.

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Got another green iPod nano that replaced the washed iPod nano. It was what I signed up for, but I think probably right before any device with under 10 GB of space was still overpriced despite being 'completely worthless.'

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I wanted the new U2 album, so I bought a red Nokia Razr and the U2 iPod. jk :-P <3 u BonBono

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I went to Best Buy. I bought an iMac desktop. It seemed chill. Mad screen space.

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I have never owned an iPhone. I remember when they were 'hot', but now the sorta feel like 'tween toys' or something. Not sure if I will ever vibe that hard to them, but I'm sure they are a chill product. Miss the days when ppl would get murdered over them, though. I still feel like iPhone users 'have a lot of pride' in their phone, though.

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I went to the Apple Store and bought a Macbook Pro. Some young dude was all like "I work at the Apple Store, bro." He wanted me to really explore my options, but I was like, "I'm cool bro. Just get me the 13 incher." He was all, "We have bigger monitors." and I was like "Nah. Maybe I shoulda gone 2 Best Buy to deal with a Geek Squad wave bro."

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God Bless u, Steve Jobs.
U changed my life.
U changed the way I consume.
U changed the way I compute.

Please use the comments section to share ur Apple stories & reflect on the life of Steve Jobs.

Tyler the Creator nominated for BET Award, declares he has finally won over 'nigger' markets


BET is a channel for African Americans to celebrate their music and culture. They live in the shadows of MTV, but still enjoy celebrating hip hop and r&b culture. Similar to MTV, they have fake awards shows. This year, indie horrorcore buzz rapper Tyler the Creator was nominated for BET Award. He celebrated with a celebratory tweet in which he declared, "I Guess That BET Nom Means That i Actually Got Niggas On My Side hahahaha NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA hahaha."

Although Tyler the Creator was very hyped from white sources, and marketed to white tweens as a 'cutting edge mainstream buzz act' [via winning a VMA Award], it seems like he is very much still searching for a place in the hearts of the pure African American artists. Although he continually utilizes the 'n-word', u sorta get the vibe that he is not saying it 'in solidarity with his people', but instead to appeal to white hate markets who actually use the word in a derogatory vibe.

Although Odd Future's gimmick is running dry despite Tyler the Creator's next album being a commercial success despite its eventual poor quality and taste, we will always remember them as 'that one band that made the white indiesphere feel awkward when it came to publishing the word 'nigger'. Last Friday he even pretended to sign a fake artist named Young Nigga to Odd Future's label just 2 play a trick on blogs that are eager 2 cover them.

Does Tyler the Creator abuse/exploit the n-word?
How do u prefer to read the word 'nigger' on ur fave Odd Future covering indie blogs: n****r, nigga, n-word, or n$&^$#*?
Do u think Tyler the Creator appeals to African Americans or just white ppl who are into horrorcore rap culture?
Will Tyler the Creator eventually play the Gathering of the Juggalos?
Will he win a BET Award, or lose to B2k/Omarion?
Are black ppl 'allowed' 2 use 'the n-word'?
Do u feel bad abt the lingering effects + language from the slave trade era still being prevalent in hiphop?
Should BET go after white indie markets by creating a 'wack ass white dude who calls himself indie' award that ppl like Bon Iver and James Blake can win every year?
How should journalists and online websites deal with Tyler the Creator's perpetual abuse of hate words like 'nigger' and 'faggot'?

Tyler, The Creator

Alternative Celebrity

Tyler is a teenage producer, rapper, and the leader of an experimental lofi shock-rap crew called Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

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Chill energy drink drinking bro finds mouse in his can of Monster Energy drink

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I just saw this local news story about a chill bro who just wanted to get some energy [via a sugary drink loaded with caffeine and branded for young, xtreme bros], but he got more than he bargained for. He ended up finding a dead mouse in his can of Monster Energy Drink. Naturally he is 'suing the fuck out of monster', because finding a mouse in a beverage can is sort of the equivalent of 'buying a winning lotto ticket.'

Do u feel bad for this traumatized bro who just wanted some N.R.G.?

"But that wasn't the only monster... He found inside..." -local news prize winning journalism scare pieces

"Anytime anyone talks about monster, I just get that sick feeling in my stomach," says Vitaliy Sulzhik.
It happened March 20, 2010. Sulzhik remembers it like it was yesterday. He went into the Fred Meyer in Des Moines, and bought himself a Monster Energy Drink. When he finished drinking it, he didn't realize another monster would be at the bottom.
"I put it down and I felt it was still heavy. So I backwashed it and all this debris went into my mouth," says the 19 year old. "Then I looked in the can and I saw the tip of the tail and I vomited everywhere."

Would u vomit if u found a mouse in ur can of soda/beer/etc?
Seems like it is a chill mouse, who just wanted some energy, too. Maybe we're all similar, and the human experience is the same as the animal experience.

Do u think this local news piece 'scared' old people about the dangers of energy drinks?
R u afraid to drink sodas out of cans now?
Do u think Monster sales are going to drop dramatically due to this story 'going viral', sorta like that time that 1 dude died from eating Jack N the Box?

X-rays and autopsies showed the mouse didn't suffer any trauma, like from a mouse trap, nor was it killed using poison. In other words, there were no signs the mouse was killed and then forced through the opening.
"You hear these wild stories out there. Sure, you're a little skeptical at first," says Reed Yurchak, Sulzhik's attorney. "But everything here has checked out."

Do u feel bad for this 'chill bro'? Is he traumatized both physically and mentally?
Or does he just want 'mad lawsuit dollars'?

Whenever u drink a can of soda, are you taking a risk that some creature will be hidden inside [via prizes]?
Did Monster ruin this bro's vibes?
Do yall know how to stuff a chinchilla in a can of Four Loko?
Are energy drinks for 'lamestreamers'?
Do u drink 5 Hour Energy because rats can't fit into those bottles?
Does this bro seem 'chill' or is he just trying to 'get rich quick' in our depressed economy?

Mark Zuckerbro has illuminati meeting with Barry Obama and Steve Jobs

Mark Zuckerberg meets Obama
In this photograph, we see the CEO of America (Barrack Obama) and the CEO of Facebook (Mark Zuckerberg) meeting at the White House. I'm not sure what they had to talk abt. Maybe Obama needed some 'tech support' learning about privacy controls or how to tag his bros in photos. Maybe Zuckerbro has some ideas for a new age democracy where every1 just votes on issues utilizing facebook, and we don't need Congress any more, and Zuckerbro can just ride dictator waves/rig some votes.

Is 'technology'/'the internet' really a big deal that deserves national attention, or just another 'fad' that will be outdated 1 day? Are tech CEOs just 'legalized dictators'? Is Mark Zuckerbro trying 2 hard 2 be famous and control the world?

It seems like this was some sort of modern illuminati meeting, with every1 who controls the world (because the world = 'the internet')

As you can see from the photos, the star studded invitee list included Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Apple CEO Steve Jobs, Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz, Cisco’s CEO John Chambers, Twitter CEO Dick Costolo, Oracle CEO Larry Ellison, Netflix CEO Reed Hastings, Genentech Chairman Art Levinson; Google CEO Eric Schmidt; former state controller and venture capitalist Steve Westly Doerr, and Stanford University President John Hennessy. The event was held at Kleiner Perkins partner John Doerr’s home.

"Who the hell invited the CEO of Netflix? All he does is mail DVDs and upload mediocre movies in2 the Watch Instantly Queue." -CEOs of 'real tech companies'
Is Bill Gates 'too irrelevant' 2 be invited bc Windows/Microsoft/Bing is mad lamestream?

Seems like this was probably some sort of huge meeting to 'control the future of the world.' Here they are toasting to 'enslaving' ppl with less than 100 friends on Facebook and making them do 'data entry enslavement' 4 the rest of time.

Do u think Facebook can save our government?
Is Barry Obama trying to 'control the internet' so he can get re-elected?
Who didn't belong at this exclusive White House event?
Will Barry Obama ever 'reach out' 2 the indie community, inviting the most relevant blogs & buzzbands 2 dine with him?
Will Mark Zuckerbro 'rule the world' 1 day?

Mark Zuckerberg

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Mark Zuckerberg is the CEO of the_facebook.com and the star of his self-directed documentary called "The Social Network."

Read more>>>>

The guy who uploads indie mp3s into Shazam gets an NYTimes Profile piece

shazam indie bands
Shazam is a popular 'app' that you have on ur phone, and when u hear a song playing and u wanna know what it is, u turn on Shazam, then u let it listen to the song, then it tells u which song it is. It works 'like magic.' One minute, u don't know who a buzzband is, then SHAZAM!... u know exactly who it is...

But have u ever wondered how they are able 2 catalog so many rare indie buzz mp3s? Sure it is easy to find mainstream and classic songs... but how do they stay on top of the rapidly evolving indie buzzosphere?
What if I told u that there was one man 'behind it all' who uploads rare indie buzz mp3s into the Shazam system?

Sure, Shazam, the popular music-spotting cellphone application, can identify that Rihanna track. But what about the new song from the Sandwitches, a Bay Area folk-rock band?

Before the Shazam service can find a song, Mr. Slomovitz or another sourcer must locate and input the recording. That is where Charles Slomovitz comes in.

Mr. Slomovitz was roaming the aisles of a record store here recently when he spotted a flame-haired clerk. It was Grace Cooper, one-third of the Sandwitches, which had just put out a single that was getting attention on music blogs.

“She’s got that sound that’s getting to be big,” he said as she handed him a copy of the song, “so I’ve got to have it.”

S00 jealous of Charles Slomovitz.... Wish I had his job... #alt_dream_jobs

So ur telling me there is a job out there where I can basically scan the Hype Machine and MP3 blogs and then upload them into Shazam, and I will be a 'relevant part of the music tech industry'? Feel like my parents would be proud of me if I worked for a 'startup' that was 'shooting for an IPO in _ years.'

The article really tries to take the angle like 'The music industry has totally changed yall [via technology]'

Mr. Slomovitz, a music industry veteran, spends his days tracking down hot new artists — but not for a big record label. Instead, he works for Shazam, maker of the application of the same name that can figure out what song is playing in a bar, a clothing boutique or a TV commercial.

“It’s like a scavenger hunt in real time,” said Mr. Slomovitz, 42. “It never stops.”

Mr. Slomovitz’s job is one of the more unusual in the new digital music era, as he and the dozen or so other “music sourcers” at Shazam try to ensure that any songs the app’s users might want to identify are ready and waiting in the company’s database.

Do yall listen 2 'internet mix tapes' and 'college radio'?

At Shazam, the music sourcers’ challenge goes beyond just getting a copy of the latest single from Kanye West. Shazam also wants the latest club tracks, Internet mix tapes and whatever is playing on college radio, anything that might inspire curious listeners to pull out their phones and fire up the app.

It seems like this job is rlly hard. Do yall think u have what it takes?

The hunt keeps Mr. Slomovitz on his toes. Every morning, he skims dozens of music blogs, checking for new releases he might have missed, as well as the iTunes, Amazon.com and Billboard charts, and blog aggregators like the Hype Machine.

Most weeks he also goes to local record stores to see if there is something in stock he has not heard of, or if older albums are being remastered or reissued. And he listens to local radio stations, especially near universities.

Really feel like this job fits in perfectly with my current lifestyle... Really angry at this Bromovitz bro.

Do u listen to mp3s + bootlegs that are way too alt 2 be Shazam-able?

Shazam executives say their mission is to catalog every song in the world. But it would be impossible to feed the machine with each and every song released by a tiny label or a bedroom studio.

Instead, Mr. Slomovitz has to try to think like a music tastemaker, guessing which songs might get attention and potentially stump Shazam’s servers.

“They’re our A.& R. to find anything that might be played,” said David Jones, a vice president at Shazam.

Is Shazam the ultimate entry level music discovery tool?
Has Shazam always found the bands ur looking for, or does it consistently let u down because ur too underground?
Do ur friends call u "Shazam" because you are able to identify every mp3 in the world?
R u more alt than Charles Slomovitz?
Do u think this bro is 'hella legit' or does he only listen to overground crap?
Does he deserve a New York Times profile piece, or should they save those 4 world leaders?
What do yall use 2 discover music?
What do u have to major in to work for Shazam? Do u think they drug test or can u blaze hard while u discover indie mp3s?

Best Coast releases new song abt how it is unchill 2 "traffick humans"

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As yall know, Best Coast usually writes songs about weed, cats, boys and Sunny Delight California Style... but what if I told u she was exploring a new side of herself + writing songs abt things she felt passionate abt. As a tween, it seems like 1 of the issues nearest and dearest 2 my heart is human trafficking. At first I thought it was like 'website traffic' [via humans visiting websites], but then I realized that there is an entire industry of modern enslavement going on, even in our own USA.

Do yall like this new Best Coast song abt how human trafficking is totally unchill.

Human trafficking is the illegal trade in human beings for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation or forced labor, a modern-day form of slavery.

Here is an INFOGRAPHIC abt what u can do with a human while u r trafficking them

Do yall know the difference between 'polygamous marriage' and 'human trafficking'? [via domestic servitude]
R u worried about the 'Misc' section of this graph? [via darkness beyond prostitution]
If u work in agriculture or in a factory in Asia, r u basically a modern day slave?

Do yall think Best Coast got blazed watched this Lifetime movie 2 'do research' 4 what human trafficking is like?

Increasingly inescapable Best Coast frontwoman Bethany Cosentino has lent her vocals to "When Will I Feel Love", a new song and video that aims to raise awareness of human trafficking. It's an effort from MTV EXIT, MTV's global anti-trafficking initiative

Sometimes I will be tempted to purchase prostitutes off craigslist, but then I get scared that I will some how end up in a really dark human trafficking ring.

Do u have any human trafficking stories 2 share?
When a buzzband is on tour, are the humans that are trafficked around the country?
Do yall think that Best Coast 'really cares abt human trafficking' or is she just trying to break into AZN/Chinese markets?
best coast trafficking mtv human
Do u wish all humans can get along?
What is the difference between 'being trafficked' and 'working in a cubicle'?
What is 'free will'?
R u glad that Best Coast is finally getting away from the fuzzy buzzy and writing some piano jams so she can go mainstream?
Every time u purchase an illegal drug, r u supporting terrorism, human trafficking and other 3rd world evils?

"Stop trafficking other bros, yall. Check out indie buzz tunes instead."
-MTV + HRO

INFOGRAPHIC: How many hits do ur favourite music blogs + streaming services get?

If you’re red-green color blind then this is going to hurt. Based on estimated traffic data from Compete, this visualization depicts web-based music consumption in the U.S. in 2010. Included are websites where music is streamed and/or downloaded. Due to accurate sample rate availability (and in the interest of sanity) websites with less than 100,000 monthly visits are omitted. The map is to scale. Larger map areas represent higher website traffic. Green indicates positive growth in 2010. Red indicates negative growth in 2010.

I just looked at this infographic that attempted to demonstrate how many hits some of the most popular music sites on the internet get. It makes me kinda sad that there there aren't very many music blogs on this infographic, maybe demonstrating how music listeners would rather 'discover music' based on an algorithm.

Anyways, what do u think of this infographic?
What music streaming service do u use?
Is Rhapsody 'alt'? eMusic? Should I get a new Napster account?
Is Soundcloud 'legit' or do they just allow illegal streams on their site?
Do u think all of these 'successful' sites will eventually just get purchased by iTunes and exist outside of the browser?

Also here is an 'infographic' that represents how many more hits youtube gets for streaming music purposes than every other service on the internet. Also 'pandora' is way more popular than a lot of these sites.

Then they talked abt how popular Rolling Stone, NPR, Pitchfork Media, and the Pirate Bay are.

Bonus tracks: Right now The Pirate Bay gets as much traffic as MTV.com. Based on its current trajectory Pandora will soon surpass The New York Times. The most popular music magazine online is Rolling Stone—2.2M visits in December 2010. The most popular music blog is Pitchfork—1.4M visits in December 2010—like two Hype Machines. NPR is in the same ballpark as Last.fm.

What can Pitchfork do to 'get more hits' than Rolling Stone, or will it lose its 'indie cred' [via 'going mainstream']?
Should all music just be free?
Has Hype Machine 'gone down the shitter'? [via too many crappy remixes + blogs]
Has NPR 'taken over' the indie music marketplace?

So many hits... So many users searching 4 an authentic streaming experience.

Would u rather start a 'music blog' or a 'streaming music discovery service'?
Are all of these websites 'stealing money from artists' or do they legitimately help artists reach wider audiences?
Do u hope every music site on the internet 'goes under'?
Who is going to 'win' when more Walmart-core people start streaming music instead of buying it at Walmart?
Are there enough hits on the internet for every1?
Do yall use spotify, pandora or last fm?
R u sad that iTunes purchases Lala?
What streaming app do u use on ur iPhone / android / blackberry?
Do u just stream videos on youtubes?
Do u just illegally download rapidshare + mediafire + megaupload indie leaks?
What music website will 'win the internet'?

The iPad DJ broad returns, brags abt her life, has 'totally alt' pink streak in her hair

Remember the iPad DJ? [link] Her name is Rana Sobhany, and her gimmick is 'getting covered by tech blogs' because she is a woman who pretends to DJ from the iPad. Anyways, she has a new video where she keeps repeating herself abt how she is inspired

Anyways, some tech blogger dude basically oggles at her goodies during the interview, and probably asked her out on a date afterwards. "We share the same passions. Technology. Apps. Pads. Social Media. And streaks of a bright colour in our hair."
ipad DJ
She basically just rambles on abt how great she is and how she loves iPads and apps and portability and her awesome new DJing career. I am not sure, but I think I saw her on the 3rd draft of the Coachella flyer.

Here is the crap she brags abt in the video:

  • She has done 75 shows in the past 7 months
  • in 5 countries
  • for 100,000 people
  • with just 2 iPads
  • Cool places she has played
  • House of Blues, Webster Hall, Apple Stores in NYC + SF,
  • Show at Google coming up

"Blah Blah Blah Read my new book called Mobilize! It is abt apps"

R u gonna read this book, or would u rather eat ur own poop?
Is the iPad DJ 'living a lie'?

Just gonna re-embed her music video so yall remember why 2 h8 her.

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Should I book the iPad DJ at my relevant SXSW partie?
Are you one of the 100k people who have seen the iPad DJ play 'live'?
Do yall hate 'tech ass holes' from 'the Valley' who are just trying to 'spin deals' and invent 'the next Groupon app twitter content hub'?
Has the iPad DJ 'successfully leveraged social media to expose her brand to the masses'?
Will the iPad DJ get above a 9.0 on Pitchfork for her next album?
Should I get a pink streak in my hair 2 'look more alt' [via the 1990s]?

the iPad DJ

DJ, Meme

The iPad DJ is some broad who claims that she is the world's first iPad DJ but she just uses iPad apps to make dumb sounding entry-level trance mixes.

Read more>>>>

Guitar Hero taken off the market cuz no1 buys it any more


Apparently, no1 buys that Guitar Hero bullshit any more, so they decided to 'fold' the franchise. I wonder if it just 'isn't in demand', or if they basically hit the 100% threshold of the market for 'losers who would actually buy a game that you needed a fake little plastic guitar that would end up chillin in ur living room and u would think that the lil guitar made you look cool.' Don't really understand the appeal of video games when u can play 'the game of life' every day. Also 'becoming a buzzband' is kinda like a video game/RPG if u rlly think about it, so I would rather play that game + press buttons on a sampler as opposed to a fake plastic guitar.

Anyways, Guitar Hero is 'dead' (until they decide to re-release it with a redesigned controller that every1 has to buy all over again).

“Due to continued declines in the music genre, the company will disband Activision Publishing’s Guitar Hero business unit and discontinue development on its Guitar Hero game for 2011,” explains the company in its latest financials, as reported by MCV.

The publisher is also suspending development on its DJ Hero franchise, having confirmed that its ‘peripheral-based’ console games – which also include Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater – sold less copies than expected in 2010.

Does this news make u sad?
Did yall think that Rock Band was gonna 'save the music industry'?
Is Rock Band the 'lamest' game in the entire world?

Miss u DJ Hero [via silent flops]

Don't worry, yall. Rock Band is totally 'in the shitter' too.

The news comes shortly after Viacom sold Harmonix, the team behind the Rock Band games. Its decision to sell was seen as evidence that the music game genre has lost its lustre – something compounded by today’s news.

Gonna miss u music genre...
Do u think all of the lamestreamers who played Rock Band will try to sell the
Will Rock Band / Guitar Hero become 'ironic/vintage' in _ years, or will it just be 'straight up lame'?
What are the popular video games of the 2k10s?
How did the Rock Band / Guitar Hero franchise 'go wrong'?
Did u ever throw a sweet partie where ppl played one of these games the whole time?
Do u feel bad for ppl who thought these games and the music on them were hella sweet?

CARLES'S TOP 8 LAMESTREAM ROCK BAND + GUITAR HERO MOMENTS OF HIS LIFE

10. Chillin with kewl video game bros who look like they are in alt rock bands.

9. The time I played against Tony Romo

8. The time my mom played Guitar Hero and I drank a Diet Dr Pepper

7. The time I invited ever1 over 2 partie, and played guitar hero and made every1 watch me for 5 hours, and when any1 else tried to play, I just kicked their ass and made it un-fun

6. The time my little brother 'kicked my ass' at Rock Band, but then we bonded for the first time in years and beat the game together

5. The time I took my Rock Band to my grandparents' retirement community to help fight Alzheimer's

4. The time South Park 'parodied' Guitar Hero 4 being dumb and it was really funnie but then I still kept playing it anyways cuz I partied with my bffs

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3. The Time I beat Accordion Hero

2. The time I played a classic Southern Rock song on guitar hero and 'thought I was actually playing' the song and visualized myself on tour with the band and banging bitches

1. The time I was me and I was a bad ass and I crushed it while playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band at the same time.

What are yalls fave guitar hero moments?

Myspace emails all users begging them 2 come back. Will this save Myspace?

myspace dead graveyard
I was recently checking out my email account, browsing thru emails, and I couldn't help but notice an old social network had emailed me. Usually my bros at twitter and facebook email me, but I hadn't heard from myspace lately. After so many fake spam accounts friended me for like 2 years straight, had to turn off all notifications bc I couldn't figure out to deactivate my account. Anyways, Myspace emailed me, begging me to come back, and they apparently emailed every1 who hasn't logged in2 Myspace got this email.

Here is the sad email from myspace.

We've missed you at MySpace lately. Plain and simple, we think you should come back. The new MySpace provides the best social entertainment experience on Earth. For serious. You can now follow your favorite topics in music, movies, celebs and TV and get instant updates from around the web. The new Myspace gives you custom recommendations so you can discover more of what you love and connect with new like-minded friends.

For serious? Cmon Myspaces.... yall will never change [via the SPAM aesthetic]

Do u believe them?
Has Myspace 'changed'?
Is Myspace 'ovr'?
Do u feel sad 2 think that ppl still use myspace?
R u gonna go back 2 myspace?
Is Tom 'rich off his ass'?
Do u think 1 day Zuckerberg is gonna send out a sad email begging u 2 get back on Facebook?
Will Jeff Twitter send u a direct message 2 get ur ass back on twitter?
Have yall checked out the new Myspace?
Is Myspace gonna 'bounce back' and replace Facebook?

Cee Lo plays a concert for a sea of white ppl


I remember when Cee-Lo's song "Fuck You" came out, every1 tried to get all excited about it, like the kind of vintage hype where people are like "Hells yea! This is what pop music is all about. They sure as hell don't make em like they used to!" However, the whole time, the song was basically just another generic lamestreamer anthem. Anyways, I just saw this funny picture of Cee-Lo performing at a Sundance Party. I guess only white people make movies and attend Sundance, or maybe the majority of Cee-Lo's audience is white ppl.

From what I hear, Sundance is basically just like 'tons of losers from LA who think they are in the_industry', except they are all wearing winter snow gear. Seems like they all took out their smart phones/cameras to make sure every1 knew they were 'chillin with @CeeLo.'

Is Cee-Lo relevant'?
Do yall h8 that one song of his "Forget You"?
Do u think any1 would ever date Cee-Lo or does he just buy a bunch of escorts 2 rub baby oil all ovr him?

I really don't even know if Cee-Lo is a human being. I really feel like he is some sort of 'goblin'/'troll' creature that was blessed with a cartoon voice. Really hope some1 does a DNA test on him so we can find out if he is a human being or just some amorphous gooey echo chamber.

Do black people like Cee-Lo, or is he just a white person artist?
Was Gnarls Barkley overrated?
Is Cee-Lo for lamestreamers?
Do u know if black ppl enjoy Cee-Lo or is he just one of those African American artists that is marketable 2 white ppl?
Does Cee-Lo 'have a good voice' or does he just sound like a cartoon / alien?

Google censors rapidshare, megaupload, & torrents because they leak 2 many albums


No1 buys albums any more, unless you are a tween or an overgrounder, so people just illegally download them by googling [album name] + [file hosting provider]. It seems like Google is trying to make that process more difficult because they 'turned off autocomplete' for these [file hosting providers]. The results still show up, but u just have to type it all out now. S000oo0o0o00oOO ann0ying, Google.

Searching for file-sharing information via Google is going to take a little bit more effort now, thanks to new steps taken by the search engine to remove all sorts of references to torrents from its instant search and autocomplete features.

Do u think the dude from Metallica who shut down Napster 'made this happen'?
Do u h8 the RIAA?
Have u been sued/served bc u illegally downloaded something?

It’s taken a while, but Google has finally caved in to pressure from the entertainment industries including the MPAA and RIAA. The search engine now actively censors terms including BitTorrent, torrent, utorrent, RapidShare and Megaupload from its instant and autocomplete services.

Why do u think they singled out these services, but let u autocomplete sweet services like The Pirate's Bay, Mediafire, and AlbumLeakedFreeZipFiles.net?

Part of the problem with this new implementation, as TorrentFreak noted when it broke the story, the list of banned terms is "seemingly arbitrary." No version of the word "torrent" will work for instant search - neither the software "uTorrent," nor "BitTorrent," the name of a protocol and a San Francisco-based company. But while the cyberlockers RapidShare and Megaupload are now forbidden, other sites like HotFile and MediaFire are not. Furthermore, you can still find the names of other popular torrent sites, including The Pirate Bay.

It seems like these companies are trying 2 pretend that 'legitimate users' use their services, not just people who are trying to illegally leak + share files. C'mon yall... It's chill. Accept what u r.

RapidShare is not pleased with Google’s new filter either, at least not with its current scope in today’s roll-out.

“We knew about Google’s plans for quite a few weeks now. We embrace that certain search suggestions will not put a wrong complexion on RapidShare anymore, but we are concerned that at the same time the legitimate interests of our users will also be affected. We believe it was the wrong decision to remove the term ‘RapidShare’ from the search suggestions,” RapidShare told TorrentFreak.

“RapidShare is one of the most popular websites worldwide. Every day hundreds of thousands of users rely on our services to pursue their perfectly legitimate interests. That is why Google has obviously gone too far with censoring the results of its suggest algorithm. A search engine’s results should reflect the users’ interests and not Google’s or anybody else’s,” the company added.

Is Google being 'totally unchill'?
Will they stop indexing these file hosts, or just do this autocomplete crap?
Is Google more useful than the Hype Machine now?

Is it gonna be 'totally annoying' 2 have to type out 'rapidshare' when ur looking for a relevant album to download for free?
Do u wish Rapidshare at least had 2 share their download numbers with record companies so that the DLs could be counted towards album sales numbers?
What are some great ways to download leaked indie albums?
How many leaked albums do u download per year and what is your preferred file hosting service?
Should Google just be chill and let us search 4 whatever we want?
What searches should google 'ban'?
Is Google 'owned by the Chinese/US govt'?
Will bing become the next big relevant illegal file hunting system?

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