Relevant Commentary on Modern Issues | Hipster Runoff

Relevant Commentary on Modern Issues

Ode to a Fallen Bro of a Product: The CD Binder

Photo by the cobrasnake

I remember u, CD Binder bro
You used to be hella useful, back when I was overloaded with CDs
disc, jewel case, album insert
needed a system to help me get organized
to keep me from scratching my massive CD collection

We had a lot of good memories.
I remember the first time I organized you
I got rid of my jewel cases
and just kept the album booklet and the CD inside of you
Really trusted u with that shit

Eventually I transported you into my car (a 1992 toyota Camry)
and u gave me access to a rich library of relevant CDs

for a while I had a CD visor
but that really didn't meet my needs
since I had such a massive music collection

CD visor was 'functional' for my on-the-go playlist style listening
but it didn't give my CDs the protection I needed
Didn't allow me to have access to all 100-5000 CDs in my collection

When I moved CD Binder bro into my car
I took him everywhere
We drove to high school together every morning
Took him on a road trip to visit colleges
Sometimes I would even loan him out to my best bros
(h8ed when they stole CDs from me)

CD binder was around, back when 'the album' meant something to me
better than an iTunes playlist because I had an emotional and financial connection with each album
at least until I started burning tons of albums
after buying a 100 pack of blank CD-Rs

Eventually you became irrelevant, CD binder bro
MP3s replaced the CD
and we no longer a sweet organizational tool
in the form of a binder / trapper keeper
because the CDs couldn't be sorted by artist name, song name, album name
genre, rating, play count or other meta data

So weird to realize that music is just 'information'
being transported
and it is better to just send it thru fiber wires/3g networks
as opposed to storing the data on a disc
and packaging it

I really miss u CD binder
U were the chillest of bros
A useful product
and maybe I took u for granted
thought u would last forever

You were always way more chill than the CD tower
The CD tower was utilized by 'show offs'
people who wanted to show off how many CDs they owned
getting dusty in their living rooms

Eventually, the CD tower became the ultimate symbol of waste
huge stack of CDs 'showing off' the hundreds of dollars u wasted on CDs
from bands that were just 'one hit wonders'
or crappy bands like Limp Bizkit / Korn / Matchbox 20 etc
a shrine to your old personal brands
that people could make fun of u for
and all u could say was 'yea, i used to think that band was okay a long time ago'

They say the only thing worse than a CD tower
is a DVD tower
no matter how many 'special editions' u have
u might never be a special edition of a human

The CD Binder is a private, intimate experience
flipping thru pages
U were the original 'cover flow' [the popular feature showcased by Apple products which allows u to skim album art]

I loved the feeling of flipping a page against my fingers
the smell of plastic
every color of the rainbow
a tactile experience that can never be replicated by cover flow

Really miss CD binder bro
might start buying CDs again just to 'get retro'
and reconnect with the CD Binder
(but I already invested a lot of money in a record player + vinyl collection)

I don't want a 'little bitch' CD binder
holding 10-20 CDs
re-gifted to you because the mini CD binder became a product
that it was easy to 'slap your logo on'

I want a huge CD binder
A portable filing cabinet of my life
because music is my life
CDs used to be my life
Before I got into vinyl/mp3s

Miss u CD binder bro
so many people talk about technology and the digital revolution
but we don't take the time to think of auxiliary products
Failing to ask important questions like
"What will happen to all of the iPod docks in the world when iPods are irrelevant?"
"What will happen to memes when the internet dies?"

Maybe I like buzz mp3s
and I am genuinely thankful for the ease at which I can find and steal new music
and listen to my iPod every day
jam out hard to my iPhones
docking my shit into 'alarm clock speakers'

But I miss the simple days
I miss the wasteful CD buying experience
dealing with amassing several hundred jewel cases
scratching and misplacing CDs
and finding innovative ways to tkae CDs out of their original packaging
and sort them in a way that fit in with my lifestyle

Sometimes I feel like life is sorta like flipping thru the pages of your CD binder
trying to find the right album to put on at the right time

Maybe you never were bros with a CD binder
but trust me...
He was one helluva bro
and I would be the person I am today without him.

miss u

New M.I.A. song about hating / wanting to kill gingers

Hey yall. After watching M.I.A.'s music video about h8ing gingers, and wanting to wipe them off the planet [link], I decided to guess the lyrics to a song that she might write about how she wants to wipe every famous and non famous red headed person from our Earth.

Killin Em Gingas

written by Maya Arulpragasam (stage name: M.I.A.)

[gun shots]
[sounds of people running + violence]

Gingas, Gingas
Boom boom ba boom le beeem
Gonna shoot up your bitch asses
even u Carrot Top

Give food and money to the poor
US Government is bullshit faggts
Fuck the UK government too
gotta rid the Earth of Prince Harry and his ginga ass

Lady Di and Prince Charles
paparazzi crash
bitches and ho's

[gun shots]

Molly Ringwald.
Boom. Ur Dead

Danny Bonnaduce gonna get taken down

Lindsay Lohan. u better dye ur hair bitch

Gingas Gingas
Fallin down
boom shacka lacka
we takin down da government
burnin down da white haus

tweet boom tweet boom ba boom

Ariel from Little Mermaid
gonna drown the mutha fuckin ginger
in a sea of bullets
cartoon violence in real life

gonna strangle Shaun White with his gold medals
snow boardin ain't a real sport

Julianne Moore gonna go down
Big Lebowski ass bitch
gonna get boom de boomed

X files Lady gonna disappear
Gingers be goin down gingers be down down

Eric Stoltz in the movie Mask
ur the 1 I'm gonna take down

Gingas Gingas
Crash like paper planes
Put gingers in internment camps
and execute them
1 by 1
or in a gas chamber

Danny Bonaduce roid rage

Gonna take u down like the lil ginger bitch u r inside
boom boom cmon cmon de boom

CONTINUE READING this anti-ginger manifesto

Are Ravers basically electro juggalos?

Photos by thecobrasnake

Part of me gets confused whenever I see a raver. I am not sure if they are actually into raves / techno / drugs, or if it just a one night thing. Like a bunch of tweens going to an indie show, dressing up as Am Appy 'hipsters.' Maybe there are authentic ravers, and then there are people who go to a rave for 1 night, and just pretend that they are ravers.

Have u ever been 2 a rave?
Do some people treat life like it is a rave?
Does the 'rave' really a cultivate a legitimate subculture, or just an excuse for people to do drugs?

Honestly wonder if ravers are electro juggalos. These people seem like they are on their way to the Gathering of the Juggalos

Just wanna get fucked up on pills, then end up dehydrated, falling asleep in an empty field

Have u ever gone to a party / rave with a group of bros, and yall decided to wear a uniform costume? Might dress up as boy scouts with my bros. We found a sweet deal on a few shirts at our local Goodwill.

Might just dress up in Urban Camo

I feel like this person looks like an authentic raver, truly dedicated to 'the subculture.'

I wonder if ravers are trying to 'evolve' the scene, or if they just want things to stay the same. If they just want to get fucked up in abandoned warehouses.

Hey. It's me. Rave Bro.

I wonder if this bro is some sort of electro lost boy

Might become 'thong bro' and show off my firm ass to 'Drunk Girls' after hearing the new LCD Soundsystem song

Will buy a souvenir from the Major Lazer merch booth

will show off my sweet tats

Inauthentic or authentic ravers? Is 'raver' just a costume?

Will get so fucked up that I even squeeze ketchup on to a hot dog, even though ketchup as a hotdog condiment makes u an inauthentic hot dog eater

Wonder what ever happened to the popular HRO meme/tugworthy skank: the XX broad?

Just want to go to a rave, get really effed up, then make love to a girl who looks like Margot Tenenbaum

Have u ever gone 2 a rave?
Is it still alt to try to look like a character from the Royal Tenenbaums?
Is putting ketchup on a hot dog inauthentic?
Are ravers a legitimate 'subculture' or are they the 'ass wipe' of alt culture?
If u could live ur life over again, would u drop out of HS and dedicate ur life to throwing sick raves?
What is the most alt drug to do at a rave? 'beer'?
Are 'ravers' more like to 'hipsters' or 'juggalos'?

entry level rave bros [via freshman year of college away from parents]

The Most Authentic/Relevant/Successful Artists of the Decade (The Best Albums/MP3s/Songs/Artists/Bands/Humans of the Decade)

Can't believe it's already been a decade. I'm trying to think about the person I used 2 be back in 1999. I wonder how familiar I am with that bro, or how much I respect him. Theoretically, I have grown up and become a more 'cultured' person with a developed+refined taste in all aspects of life, including my favourite music.

Piecing together 'The Best Albums/Artists/Songs/Bands of the Decade' seems tricky, like some sort of existential reflection of urself. I feel like most websites that focus on music create 'best of year/decade' lists that assume 'indie music is the best music on the planet (+ a few African American Artists).'  We have evolved into a modern high-level, conceptual aesthetic that we must value, but we can also recognize important eras that 'helped us get to where we are.'   It seems like that sort of neglects the impact of mainstream artists on mainstream fans. Just want 2 create a list that opens up a dialogue for the clash between 'mainstream' and 'alt' in this decade.

Do 'album sales' matter?

Do 'online web critics' opinions' really matter?

If ur song is used in an NBA area/NFL football game/TV commercial, r u more successful than 90% of other artists?

How do gender roles+racial issues change our perception of music?

Are musicians just 'entertainers', and I am allowed to be entertained as I watch some1's life fall apart?

Does 'talent' really matter?

Is 'timeliness' the most important element of a band's formula 4 success?

I will attempt to group some of the most relevant artists of the decade into tiers, creating a multi-dimensional list.

These are 30 different tiers of artists. Each tier represents an artist/group of artists/movement/trend. I attempt to rank each tier, working towards the most relevant artist of the decade in Tier 1. The tiers are sometimes interchangeable, depending on your class/social background/ethnicity/gender/income level/ other demographic factors that make you YOU.







////////// The most Authentic/Relevant/

/////// Successful Artists of the Decade




Tier 30: Bros Who Ruined Their Careers in the Past Decade

'If u got girl problems I feel bad 4 u son. I've got 99 problems but a bitch aint 1.' -Jay Z on managing ur life

Chris Brown

Chris Brown 'beating the shit out of Rihanna' is a story about a bro surrendering his opportunity to make mad bank for the next 20+ years. Remember when he was the next Michael Jackson/Usher/OJ Simpson?

Phil Spector

miss u. Can't believe this bro produced the Beatles AND murdered some1.




Tier 29: Bands/Humans that were 'sort of around' this decade, and were basically just on cruise-control based on their work done in a previous decade

It is difficult to say how 'successful' these artists were in the 2k0 decade. It seems like most of them did their work in the 80s+90s to get to where they were. Some of these artists have 'adapted' to 'utilize the internet' to maintain their brand on different levels, and others have large segments of fans who don't require their band to have an active twitter account. Overall, these bands just 'keep being bands' and have a successful revenue model/artistic personal rewards that keep them going.


  • Beck
  • Nine Inch Nails
  • Sonic Youth
  • Weezer
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • Bjork
  • Dave Matthews Band
  • Foo Fighters
  • Green Day



&#39;Is some1 getting the best, the best, the best of u?&#39;

-the foo fighters




Tier 28: Purgatory-era Alt Rock that Caught On in Weird Ways

It seems like there was a really weird phase in the early 2000s that most online lists seem to forget when it comes to &#39;decade lists.&#39; I feel like this may have been the most important era in indie rock, not the ArcadeFire post-deathcab commercial era.

Dashboard Confessional

From what I remember, Dashboard Confessional had a &#39;very rabid fan base.&#39; It seemed like people were all about the message/aesthetic of Chris Carraba&#39;s solo project. Back then, it was authentic to have a stripped down acoustic side-project, and his lyrics appealed to so many earnest tweens that his brand was &#39;taken to the masses.&#39; Unfortunately, there was a huge &#39;emo backlash&#39;, and authentic music moved away from being too meaningful/cheesy/&#39;homo.&#39; Wonder if we fell too out of touch with our emotions.



It seems like most &#39;indie critics&#39; would omit Dashboard from their lists in order to preserve the current brand of their website.

Saves the Day/Get Up Kids/Miscellaneous bands on niche record labels



Do u remember when record labels were responsible for &#39;building a scene&#39;/unified content? This was back before blogs existed to cherrypick the best artists to &#39;blog abt&#39; on their content feed.

It seemed like bands from this era were supported by regional success, then exported+marketed to other parts of the country.



Record Labels would released DVDs filled with music videos+live performances since there was no youtube and their videos were only MTV2 quality at best.

Jimmy Eat World



Remember when Jimmy Eat World &#39;got mainstream&#39;? I remember that song "The Middle" was played everywhere, and it was one of the first tastes alternative people got of an indie/alt product being embraced by the mainstream. Back then, alternative people were sort of proud of Jimmy Eat World, since they had authentic roots. The indiesphere was a family atmosphere--every1 was rooting for every band to be successful.


Owls / Cap N Jazz / Joan of Arc



Watch this complete live show by Cap N Jazz from 1995, and reflect on what life before &#39;indie&#39;/the internet was like.

Q and Not U



Another band that theoretically had a subliminal impact, but was possibly hit their prime before they had a chance/network/market to monetize. All we have left is their sound/aesthetic. This blurb is probably representative of a lot of bands from the early decade that &#39;had something good going&#39;, but eventually lost the will/interest to continue. Now we can glorify them for preserving their authentic image, and possibly feel bad for them, since they probably watched tons of less talented bands in the same niche make way more money than them.




Remember when these ass holes &#39;went viral&#39; with their treadmill video, back when Americans finally had enough bandwidth to share/embed videos. They provided an approachable song with a zany meme gimmick for people to watch. Sorta the last authentic music video that wasn&#39;t &#39;designed 2 go viral.&#39;



Tier 27: TV Sensations

Bands/artists/humans that introduced themselves to the world while the world was &#39;sittin on the couch watchin TV.&#39;

William Hung

Remember that loser AZN who u got to make fun of since he made a &#39;total ass of himself&#39; on American Idol?

Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson was the first winner of the popular show &#39;American Idol.&#39; From what I understand, she was legitimately talented, and so many people watched the show that she was guaranteed to be &#39;successful&#39; and have strong CD sales. At the time, I think she represented the image that America wanted 2 look in the mirror and see.


"Since U Been Gone" was a bona fide hit

It also seems entertaining to follow her evolution into a chunky chick [via gossip blogs].

More 2 Luv

Adam Lambert Vs. Clay Aiken

Two homosexual American Idol contestants being two different types of homosexuals, existing in different homosexual climates. From what I remember, Clay Aiken was &#39;in the process of accepting his homosexuality,&#39; having more of a Liberache type of public sexuality. I&#39;m not sure if he even knew just how gay he was.

Adam Lambert got to flaunt his gay sexuality (but producers didn&#39;t let him come out during the show), and Americans seemed to use him as a figure to rally around.

I remember people really resented Clay Aiken for being such an obvious homo, but not respecting them enough to &#39;come out.&#39;

Wonder if Adam Lambert is &#39;too gay&#39;, and might set the post-Harvey Milk movement back 5-10 years.

Miscellaneous Failed American Idol Winners+Finalists

I feel like American Idol Contestants who weren&#39;t successful are the most compelling aspect of AI. Either they win, and feel entitled to success, or they are a &#39;fan favourite&#39; who &#39;doesn&#39;t have the ability to sell albums after all.&#39;

Miss u Justin Guarini

Miss u Ruben Studdard [via America h8s fat black men]

I think these failures are so great because they are &#39;famous&#39; in terms of the number of people who know who they are, but they fail to inspire consumers to stay with their brand and go to the store to buy their albums.

The Osbournes

Remember when &#39;reality tv&#39; was a new, innovative concept. From what I understand, the Osbournes capture the hearts of America. I feel like Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne were the aloof parents all teens wanted, and Kelly + Jack were the rich, alternative, free-spirited teenagers that all teenagers wanted 2 be.

Jennifer Hudson

She almost won American Idol, then won an Oscar in the hit film &#39;Dream Girls.&#39;

I feel like when minorities watch this sort of &#39;rags to riches&#39; success, it makes them feel like slavery is officially over. Like &#39;u cant tell me racism still exists when Michael Jackson was allowed 2 happen.&#39;

(I think she is talented, and actually a more appealing large black woman than Aretha Franklin. Looking forward to her career.)

Susan Boyle

Apparently, this lady &#39;went viral&#39; in Britain, and gave ugly people hope all around the world on the British version of &#39;American Idol.&#39; [Watch] She was an intriguing human because she is such a &#39;freak show.&#39; Just feel intrigued by this broad, much like you feel intrigued by women who are unaware that they have a lil whisker moustache.





Bands/artists that made conceptual albums that some how found an indie niche where people thought that they should appreciate them. Sometimes the appreciation is deserved. Sometimes it is forced.

Boards of Canada - The Books -The Avalanches - 20 other conceptual bands

I am not sure what one conceptual band can do to differentiate itself from the rest. There are some common abstract gimmicks include audio samples, glitchy stuff, minimalism, and noise. On different days I am tempted to say that one of these bands is better than all of the rest, but they all sort of fill the same niche for most people.

Sigur Ros

I think these Icelandic bros are the breakout hit of over-conceptual music, so much so that they probably deserve to be moved to a higher tier of relevancy/success. However, it is important to remember that they sing in a fake language called HOPELANDIC. Before giving them too much alternative credibility or &#39;falling in love with their dream world&#39;, it is important to remember that they are really weird. And they are from Iceland. I wonder if there will be another buzzband from Iceland now that their economy &#39;tanked.&#39;




Tier 25: Over/under-valued Indie bands that could have been important, but possibly &#39;picked up steam&#39; too late in the decade and need to put in anothe 10 years to work

These are solid indie acts that have produced valued products for indie critics, but in the mp3 blog era, critics are wary of giving any1 too much credit too soon. All of these bands have had varied levels of success + opportunities to select various rewards to achieve in the 2k10 era.


Deerhunter/Atlas Sound/Bradford Cox

It seems like it took Bradford Cox a while to &#39;learn the indie game.&#39; Apparently




Fleet Foxes

I feel like &#39;indie rock&#39; would have been totally different if these bros had released their hit album in 2k3.5ish. Instead of so many bands trying to sound like the Arcade Fire, more bros would have grown beards and written soothing forest tunes






I really can&#39;t tell how big this band is, but I think they peaked a long time ago with their hit song &#39;Too Young.&#39; Seems like they will keep producing a consistent product, then evolve beyond Deathcab status.


"Kids" is a transcendent song. The album &#39;Time to Pretend&#39; may or may not be better/worse than you remember.



Wonder if they are the next Kings of Leon [via going mnstrm due to mainstreamer&#39;s expectations of what a &#39;cool&#39;/&#39;fun&#39; band should be].


Grizzly Bear

I feel like Grizzly Bear is the Most Authentic Band of the second half of the decade. Some how, their latest album &#39;charted&#39; at #6 on the mainstream charts. That seems pretty successful. I feel like the thing most music critics hold against Grizzly Bear is &#39;not being from the first half of the decade.&#39;



If Edward Droste had created Grizz Bear ~3 years earlier, it would be easier for Pitchforkian Era purists to honor Grizz Bear.






It is easy to appreciate 1 man with a guitar. He showcases his talent, and in order to garner a level of success, must demonstrate extraordinary talent. There was a higher demand for &#39;singer song-writers&#39; at the beginning of the decade, then Dashboard Confessional bro sort of cheapened the genre/image for every one. I feel like these people are capable of writing the most annoying songs that are played regularly on the radio.

miscellaneous ass hole you had to sit through at a coffee shop

Damien Rice/David Gray/tons of other failed bros who only had 0.7 good songs

KT Tunstall

Jason Mraz

Jack Johnson



&#39;I&#39;m urs.... I&#39;m urs.... I&#39;m urs....&#39; -Jason Mraz




Tier 23: Tween Rock

These artists/brands were engineered for tweens to beg their parents for a credit card number to buy songs/products from the iTunes music store.


The Jonas Brothers

Music that parents feel okay letting their kids listen to. Like most tween products, the goal seems to be &#39;keeping the kids occupied and out of trouble&#39;, sort of like leaving your kids at home with a pack of bologna and a jigsaw puzzle.

Looking forward to their VH1 celeb reality era, when one of them is a crazy evangelical, and another one is a free-spirited homosexual. Wonder what they can learn from 1 another

Taylor Swift

Remember the time that &#39;belligerent negro&#39; ruined the purity of her tween stardom? Think she is supposed to give hope to ugly teens.

Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana

Miley Cyrus is the sexiest tween on the planet.

The High School Musical Franchise

Apparently they made 3 of these. Feel massively relieved I don&#39;t have a kid growing up right now, due to the state of the internet/their sense of &#39;reality.&#39;



Tier 22: B-Rate Females

There aren&#39;t enough women in music, which means that B-rate female artists are often allowed to have a career that lasts 1-10 years longer than it should. It doesn&#39;t matter which genre, mediocre females are everywhere. Girls who identify with some of these artists will probably get really defensive about this section.

Cat Power



For the record, Cat Power only had 1 good/approachable song, and I think even she resented it for being &#39;too catchy.&#39; She was sorta like a less marketable Feist, who was interested in authenticity + perfection, instead of making mad bank and having a general product to inspire the masses.


Avril Lavigne

s000 complicated. Feel like she could have been a bigger powerhouse this decade if she stayed focused and didn&#39;t marry the guy from Sum 41.

She was just searching for her alternative innerself. She was once a sk8r girl, then possibly realized she was &#39;just a mnstrm pop idol.&#39;


Shania Twain

A female artist for tons of women who you will never bother getting to know.




Amy Winehouse

Was she really much more talented than other females? Is her voice really that unique? Is she a genuine talent? Was she an overvalued product of a UK buzzcycle?

I think she is mainly awesome because we got to watch her life fall apart. Fans all over the world got to hear her sing some ditty about &#39;not wanting 2 go 2 rehab&#39; while her life fell apart [via drug addition].


Most men can&#39;t understand why there are so many brands of female beauty products. It seems like the same principle applies to female A b-rate female pop star, but I think there is still a demand for her. Overall, I feel scared of her physical appearance. I think she is a symbol &#39;strength&#39; to mediocre females, like women who are secretaries that just got dumped by their abusive boyfriends.



I think she has a unique voice and a unique look/body. It seems like black male rappers just need a hot female to sing the chorus/hook in their songs, so she sort of plays that role, and has a functional career of her own. I feel like she really underplayed her role as a &#39;survivor of abuse.&#39;

Katy Perry

She seems talented, relatively self-aware and has a bloggable set of boobs. I think she will probably do well in the next decade. I feel like the will probably do a good job of staying relevant by important current applicable retro-sounds, and merging them with her talent.




Tier 21Notable DJs/Producers

DJs/producers who made an impact on the decade for building brands/cultivating aesthetics.

Danger Mouse/Gnarls Barkley

Remember &#39;The Grey Album&#39; that mashed up the Beatles + Jay-Z? It seemed innovative and buzzworthy at the time, but now every bro with a copy of Ableton is able to mashup relevant hits with timeless classics.

Remember the song &#39;Crazy&#39;? Wonder if it the gimmickiest song of the Decade?


I guess Danger Mouse found something to do with CeeLo&#39;s weird voice.

Girl Talk

Wonder how this bro built such a solid brand for doing what the majority of all DJs do. I guess it was because he talked about &#39;digital rights&#39; and other &#39;issues&#39; like that. Then he had an absurd live brand that invited alternative people who just started to illegally drink on stage, which was something the world probably needed

miss u early personal brand Girl Talk


It seems like when DJ AM, every one who was a DJ in a relevant area had some sort of connection to the bro. From what I understand, he legitimately &#39;did a lot&#39; to help DJs monetize their services, inspiring bookings by club owners in LA/Las Vegas/miscellaneous clubs in metropolitan cities that were trying to be &#39;hip.&#39;

While he was definitely &#39;more famous&#39; for being in a funny band with Travis Barker + surviving a car crash+ dating Nicole Richie, it seemed like he was &#39;pretty authentic&#39; for existing in a mainstream context.


miscellaneous techno DJs are are a stereotype



It is important to appreciate the music producers who fuel guido+euro trash culture.


I think he produced a bunch of hits for people and for himself.

He shall forever be remembered as &#39;The Techno Aaron Neville.&#39;


Moments of alternative brilliance by bands in niche genres. While the sound may have evolved into something more, or could have been a &#39;1 hit wonder&#39; (on a micro-scale), it is important to recognize these songs, instead of glorifying the bands like they had a 10 year career that &#39;changed the scene.&#39; It&#39;s chill to admit that 1 song is more important than the band that made it.

The song &#39;Seventeen&#39; by Ladytron

&#39;They only want u when ur 17... when ur 21, ur no fun...&#39;

-Ladytron, 2k2



This song helped us to confront important issues. We want young/impressionable girls who can&#39;t think for themselves&#39;. This applies to all walks of life.

The band in the commercials



<3/h8 modern marketing.

The Microphones



Have u heard &#39;The Glow: Pt II.&#39; It may or may not be the existential journey that all indie rock intended to take us on. Might be &#39;more authentic&#39; than mainstream indie rock, but also a little bit &#39;too Portland&#39; for a lot of people.

Peter Bjorn and John: &#39;Young Folks&#39;

Hey. Have u heard this song? I think you&#39;re going to like it. It was seriously engineered for all humans to like.



Did you like it?

Oh. U like it now?

I sorta h8 it now.

H8 that song. 2 much whistling.

Toby Keith

After 9-11, we needed a song to rally around. Toby Keith delivered the perfect song to let the world that we h8 Arabs/brown ppl/terrorists of the world.



We really will put a boot in ur ass. It rlly is the American way.


Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti

Ariel Pink is some bro from California who uses a lot of drugs and records &#39;lofi&#39; pop music. It seems important to consider him a genius to ensure that your



Even though he may be a troubled man with deep problems and/or a legitimate artistic genius, it is important to honor his abilities.




Tier 19: Soundtracks that &#39;changed the world&#39;/gave Middle America a template 4 &#39;becoming __________ (an alternative ideal)&#39;

These soundtracks helped make movies a complete experience. These soundtracks helped u find out about new bands/songs/ways of life.

&#39;Party Monster&#39; Soundtrack



Money, success, fame, glamour. Think this may or may not have helped to revive/fuel/seed the electro era.


Lost In Translation Soundtrack



The album that introduced shoegaze + the band Phoenix to entry level alts (at the time, 90% of alts were &#39;entry-level.&#39; I think it also brought My Bloody Valentine&#39;s Kevin Shields out of retirement to make something meaningful.


Garden State Soundtrack (2004)

One of the most meaningful compilations of the decade.

Let go yall...Just Let go....



Zach Braff: Possibly the bro that we all were in 2k4.

Zach Braff: The Bro Nobody wanted to be 2k5-2k4evr.

"Needle in the Hay" - Elliott Smith

Remember when Richie Tenenbaum tried 2 kill himself because his sister/lover was a skank?



Wonder if this was the most powerful movie scene of the 2000s.

Wonder how many people listened to other Elliott Smith songs besides this one. (Mainly just wrote that to inspire a rabid response from his most passionate fans.)

Eminem "Lose Yourself"

If ur life was a movie, this song would probably be the theme song.



Sorta wish I had a set of &#39;shitty circumstances&#39; to overcome so that I could make a biopic that was legitimately interesting.




Tier 18: Bands That are from the UK hype machine that may or may not be good/relevant/important, but a lot of people seem to think highly of them

I have nothing overtly positive/negative to say about these bands. I choose American products. Maybe these bands have their moments, but I am a specialist in American music. I believe American musicians are the best in the world at making music that appeals to the whole world, since I assume all people want to be Americans.  But I think these bands &#39;had their moments.&#39;




Tier 17: Approachable Electro Bands Who Probably Racked Up an Alarmingly High Playcount in your iTunes Library

Modern easy-listening/Music that is easier to consume than deep indie tracks.


From what I understand, most modern bands still attempting to be &#39;shoegaze&#39; are ass holes, but I think m83 sort of pulled it off. Maybe because they are from France.

As you can see by this fan-made video for &#39;Graveyard Girl&#39;, they really create a sound/product/aesthetic that is accessible to entry-levelers.



It seems good/bad that

The Notwist



Remember after the Postal Service was a hit, and people were searching for similar byproducts that reminded them of the aesthetic? I feel like the Notwist was the best available band at the time. Sorta glad Owl City wasn&#39;t around then.


&#39;OMG this sounds like a video game. This reminds me of my youth&#39;

-some1 hearing Ratatat 4 the first time

A pretty simple product, but some how &#39;very authentic.&#39; Probably some great brand management.



Cut Copy

This band only creates hits. A gateway artist for any fan of indie-electro-ish/bloghouse/remix culture in the 2k0 decade. Probably the finest Australian export (even though the Presets are more beloved within Australia). I think most indie bros listened to the album "Bright Like Neon Love" more than they realize.



Cut Copy has a pretty interesting existence, because they were probably a pioneer of electro-ish pop in the indie genre, but then released another album when more indie-marketed bands had some sort of electronic pop sound. I feel like they &#39;held serve,&#39; and didn&#39;t really get marginalized by the bloghouse era.




Tier 16: Respected/Important Electronic Dance Music

Bands/brands that are more than just entry-level producers who just put some shitty synthy songs on myspace. Wish I knew more about the history of electronic music. Wonder if these bands mean anything to electro purists.

The Knife

&#39;Highly Respected&#39; critics really love the Knife, even though they are weirdos who wear masks. They are pretty okay/good.


I feel like Justice represents &#39;timeliness&#39;, brand building, and surrounding yourself with a team who understands



Wonder if &#39;D.A.N.C.E.&#39; was the video of the decade. Miss u bloghouse/bangers/electro.

The Postal Service



I wonder if the Postal Service is more important/widely-known than DeathCab&#39;s music. Not only did The Posty Servs give formative indie fans a gateway to appreciating electronic-sounding independent music, they also taught us that it was reasonable to &#39;want life in every word to the extend that it&#39;s absurd.&#39; They taught us it was okay to search for meaning in lyrics/content/tone, and then when our lives&#39; didn&#39;t end up being as meaningful as we would have liked, we turned on them.

(worried abt Owl City)



I wonder if they will dominate the Electro/ghey/faggy/tween genre for the next 10 years.

Daft Punk

It seems like every one has head a Daft Punk song. They are good at what they do, and whenever critics feel like &#39;taking electronic/dance music seriously&#39;, they usually turn to Daft Punk because they have a well-maintained brand. Probably because they constructed a pyramid.

Daft Punk definitely &#39;peaked&#39; in 2002 with &#39;Discovery&#39;, an album that will live on forever in the hearts of all dance music fans/DJs/electro bros.

But I feel like a lot of their branding was done in the late 90s, back when they were a highly differentiated product. They are definitely &#39;the best/most important&#39; electronic/dance/etc group of all time, but we should probably wait another 20 years before analyzing their historical impact.





Tier 15: Modern Soft Rock Songs

These are songs that appeal to people who you resent for being so mediocre/catchy/boring/predictable. Soft rock music that you are forced to listen to at the Dentist&#39;s Office.

The Fray - How To Save A Life



This band has more hits than you think, but they all sort of sound the same. Wonder if they will evolve into a Coldplay-type of band, or have they peaked?


Sarah Bareilles - Love Song



h8 songs that are like &#39;declarations of independence/individuality&#39; for feeble females. Sort of like the 00s version of Lisa Loeb&#39;s "Stay."

...not gonna write u a love song...

David Archuletta - Crush



I think this song might be the best piano-based soft rock song of the 2000s. Sometimes I wonder what&#39;s going to happen to soft rock radio stations. Will they just keep playing the same hits from the 60s-90s, or is there quality

David Archuletta proves that it is better to be successful as a teenager on American Idol, as opposed to being an old freak show, desperate for your last chance. &#39;You gotta give em hope.&#39; -Harvey Milk

Tier 14: Formative Commercial Indie Bands That Garnered Critical Acclaim From Piggybacking Websites/blogs

Music tastemaking websites deliver a stream of content to their readers, letting them know which bands are worth listening to. The best indie music website may or may not be more important/valuable (financially) than the best indie band. Even though &#39;music writing&#39; will die in the 2k10s since readers don&#39;t want to read some bro pooping out words that describe how something sounds when they can just stream it, we must remember this group of artists. This group set the standard/defined the aesthetic from which internet-centric hype mechanisms are now created.




Air has a strong brand. I think they made some solid albums because they had authentic instruments + an solid understanding of music composition.


I hear people really appreciate this band on an authentic level.



From what I understand Jeff Tweedy is &#39;a prolific song writer.&#39;

The Walkmen

The Walkmen produce authentic music. They seem pretty timeless, and much of their more recent work goes over my head. I think &#39;Every One Who Pretended to Like Me Is Gone&#39; and &#39;Bows and Arrows&#39; are two of &#39;most complete/conceptually-unified&#39; albums of the decade.

"We&#39;ve Been Had" might be the most underrated/clever song of the decade.



Arcade Fire

"Funeral" was released in 2k4. "Neon Bible" was released in 2k7. It seems like that is the timerange which defines the &#39;heart of the indie era.&#39; If your band was incubated in this era, you had the opportunity to emerge into an authentic/respected/mainstream band later in the decade.

It seems like the Arcade Fire put on a meaningful/epic live show that defined &#39;what we expect out of an indie concert.&#39;



I am not sure if they are more/less important to &#39;indie&#39; than we realize. It seems like they are the standard for &#39;greatness&#39; by an indie band. I am not sure if this is fair.


Probably the most underrated memorable indie band of the decade, mainly because they peaked with their debut album, then their next 2 albums were weird/sucked.



Wonder if all alternative ppl should value "Turn On The Bright Lights" more than they do. It sort of reminds me of &#39;going to indie shows&#39; before they were filled with mainstreamers/bros/entry-levelers overactively looking to have a meaningful time.

Reminds me of pre-blog indie, back when people still bought physical CDs.

The Shins

Cool Dad rock before Cool Dads got too old.



I wonder if Garden State helped or hurt their brand.

Hope it made them tons of bank.

"New Slang" seems very earnest, like I might cry while listening to it if it didn&#39;t directly remind me of Garden State.




Britt Daniel, the main Spoon bro seems intimidating. I feel like most of Spoon&#39;s songs are transcendent of a &#39;now&#39; sound, and go for the whole timeliness gimmick (usually works well).



I think Spoon probably deserves to experience more mainstream success instead of being endorsed by the same indie sites over and over again. Maybe they were buzzworthy too early. Much like the Walkmen, I feel like I respect bands that were making music before &#39;indie&#39; was as defined as it is now, and were more of just &#39;bros

The Flaming Lips

Wonder if &#39;Do U Realize?&#39; is the most uplifting indie song of the decade.



They seem to have built a model for modern indie festival bands to get absurd & sensational.

I think this type of gimmick is still exciting to new music fans, but bitter relevantwave bros are &#39;totally over&#39; this type of gimmick.

The Rapture



A legitimately exciting band that was a solid representation of a &#39;current scene&#39; in the NYC area. It seems like it must have been easy and exciting to blurb about them, since you had a lot of obvious ways to describe their sound. It helps when buzzbands are from an NYC borough.

Then ppl said their 2nd album was inauthentic since they &#39;were bigger than the scene&#39; that incubated them.

Broken Social Scene



I have heard that Ryan Schreiber &#39;gushing about BSS&#39; was sort of what propelled the zeitgeist of Pitchfork. People &#39;had a feeling&#39; that there was &#39;something more&#39; out there. Music that was &#39;better than the corporate bullshit on the radio.&#39; Music that you could find meaning in, then go to a show and enjoy the band put on a memorable live performance, unlike anything you could see at a regional corporate-owned amphitheatre.

I feel like they embodied the romantic spirit of a &#39;collective&#39; of artists, working to build a sound 2gether.

&#39;You Forgot It In People&#39; is probably an indie rock pantheon album. Sorta wish this album was &#39;more famous&#39; than Feist, but I guess u just have to settle for inviting your friends/ex-bandmates to be your &#39;backup singers&#39; when u go on Letterman.








Tier 13: Mainstream Alt Bands That Probably Make Mad Bank


These bands may or may not have ever been &#39;indie.&#39; These bands are easy to resent. These bands are confusing.


Modest Mouse

Remember when "Float On" was &#39;all over the place&#39; in 2k4, and u were like "I&#39;ve been listening 2 Modest Mouse for _ years! We lost another band. They used to be ours...They used 2 be ours.&#39;



The song "Float On" was so catchy/grating that authentic alt music fans wrote them off, and held on to their past. I feel like the Modest Mouse Bro was dealing with personal+drug+depression issues.

The White Stripes

I am not sure if I think Jack White is overrated, or maybe I don&#39;t have the tools and historical context to appreciate his talent.



Wonder if this is the &#39;Guitar Riff of the Decade.&#39;


Franz Ferdinand

The song &#39;Take Me Out&#39; seemed to have transcended the &#39;indie rock&#39; genre that it may or may not have been marketed as being a part of.



(it also had a &#39;cool&#39; music video.)


The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

From my perspective, The YYYs only have one &#39;truly great&#39; song, "Maps."



Since they have a charismatic female singer who music writers can &#39;compare to a female rock star from the 70s/80s. I think it also helped that they were sort of lumped into the &#39;NYC Scene&#39; that was sort of Strokes/Rapture era rock that was easy to blurb about. I am not sure if there are many other legitimate rock bands with a female lead singer, so I think they are doing pretty well.


Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl



Was this song ever authentic/alt?

All American Rejects

I feel like AAR is the one of the most directly mainstream band in the blurred alternative rock genre (besides Radiohead for more complex reasons). It seems like this band writes solid songs that inspire tweens, mainstreamers, and post-ironic alternative people



So inspiring. Really want to experience a life tragedy, then &#39;move along&#39; from it.



Music for People Who Listen to Too Much Music

I think a lot of these artists are tail-end of the decade indie bands that were obviously influenced by weird/important stuff earlier in the decade/late 90s. Maybe high level music criticism bros are the only people who can appreciate these types of bands. Maybe they are the lucky ones. I think these bands have a very, very warped set of standards/expectations. It doesn&#39;t seem like it would be very enjoyable.

Tier 12: TV on the Radio

Mixed feelings. Possibly good/successful in terms of critical acclaim. Sort of turned into a safe &#39;edgy&#39; selection that old magazines could &#39;buzz about&#39; without isolating their core fan base. Considered writing about &#39;race&#39; in this blurb, but decided to save that for the &#39;hip hop&#39; section of this post.


Dirty Projectors

I think bands like DP are indicative of new markets of &#39;people who have listened to way too much music&#39; in their lifetimes. They need something that sounds s0 different that it potentially blows, but it is also possibly &#39;genius.&#39;



I sort of wish I could Teach for America, and play this in a class full of innercity minority kids, and then experience them making fun of me for listening to it. I would have had the intention of &#39;making them more cultured&#39;, but then they would give me a swift reality check, letting me know that maybe I should assimilate to their culture, and stop living in my pseudo-relevant indie dream world.


LCD Soundsystem

James Murphy can &#39;do no wrong&#39; according to web indie pundits. It seems like he is generally authentic/respectable, but then will make products that I can&#39;t really get into/identify with. Possibly because I am not cultured enough.



&#39;Losing My Edge&#39; seems to have an important message in regards to &#39;the always-evolving state of cool.&#39; Songs like this are important to remember when you feel underwhelmed/bored with some of their other songs.


Animal Collective

Conceptual All Stars. Created by/for the internet.



They seem pretty easy to appreciate/enjoy. I think they are more representative of the zenith of the potential of music journalism.


Vampire Weekend

The most impressive thing about Vampire Weekend is how deliberate/aware they seem to be.



Even though they may or may not have a douchey brand, and listening to them might be &#39;exhausting&#39; because you have to read tons of &#39;backlash&#39; articles, they still seem to be performing beyond 1st release expectations. Excited to see what happens 2 them in the next decade, because it will be pretty awesome/hilarious/sad/funny/etc.




Tier 11: Michael Jackson&#39;s Death

Michael Jackson spent ~20 years being regarded as one of the most disturbing human beings on the planet. Even though his musical abilities made him &#39;more than human&#39;, his eccentricities made him &#39;beyond human.&#39; It seems good that he died, so things didn&#39;t get darker.

I am worried about the year 2060, because I think that is when critics will start making &#39;Best Music of the Century&#39; Lists. Wonder which MJ song will win/if he will take down the Beatles.






Tier 10: Single Songs That are More Socially Important Than any &#39;Critically Acclaimed Indie Band will ever be.&#39;

It seems like these songs are way more important than any single indie band. Just fun stuff that whites/blacks/tweens/minorities/old/young folks can listen 2 and talk about how they feel about it.

Usher - the song "YEAH!" ft Lil Jon & Ludacris


Remember when bros thought it was funny to do their Lil Jon impression?


Lonely Island - Jizz in My Pants



Can&#39;t believe this song has over 73 million views on youtube. "Dick in a Box" might be more relevant since Justin Timberlake was involved. I guess Andy Samberg and the less famous members of Lonely Island are sort of Modernized Weird Al songs adopted for bro+internet humor-centric audiences.

TI - Whatever You Like/Those Innercity Kids Who Did the Election Version of this Song




Outkast - Hey Ya!




Phantom Planet - "California"



Wonder if this is the most successful indie-aesthetic


Soulja Boy Tell&#39;Em - Crank That (Soulja Boy)



It is important to appreciate &#39;dance movements&#39; in the post-Macarena World.

50 Cent - In Da Club



&#39;U can find me in the club.&#39; -a metaphor/escapism from real life

&#39;I&#39;m into having sex, I ain&#39;t in2 making love.&#39; -humans after all?

Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment



Can&#39;t believe this song was released in the year 2000. This song may or may not have been the death of 90s alt rock.

Nelly - Hot in Herre


Its gettin hot in here (so hot)

So take off all your clothes

[woman&#39;s voice]

I am gettin So hot, I wanna take my clothes off

R Kelly - Ignition (Remix)



Flo Rida Ft T-Pain "Low"



Sometimes u just need songs that girls with gifted bodies can &#39;shake their asses&#39; 2.





Tier 9: Talented Ass Bitches

Women have female needs that only other females can understand.

Alicia Keys

I think she had some good songs+talent, and sort of evolved past being &#39;a backup singer&#39; to a male lead/rapper.



Solid brand. Helps that she plays piano in her genre, since most African American females &#39;only sing&#39; and are more replaceable.

Norah Jones

Wonder if &#39;Don&#39;t Know Why&#39; is the boring-est popular song of the 2000s. Still unsure who it appealed to.




Solid product. Opportunity of a lifetime. The perfect indie female.



I hope we can build a few more Feists in 2k10, but it is more difficult to cultivate this type of artist than u think. You usually end u with some one who is too feminist/post-breakup anti-male, then they isolate a lot of people.


Have u heard the song &#39;Paper Planes&#39;?  (having second thoughts.  Maybe she belongs in the B-list female tier.)



(Thanks Diplo bro 4 producing me. -Maya)

Gwen Stefani

Thinks she did a good job making it clear that she is bigger than the confines of No Doubt.

She also did a lot to promote the adoption of AZNs as a fashion accessory/personal servant.

Cristina Aguilera

She once was a teen sensation lolita [via Genie in a Bottle]

Then turned into a dirrty skank.

but people always said she had a good voice. That type of voice freaks me out, though, since there is an element of manly snarl.


Madonna&#39;s gimmick has always been &#39;reinventing herself&#39; then finding a relevant sound, hiring the right producers, then singing over it. I feel like the world might be getting freaked out by her since she is 50 years old and still trying to be sexy.


Wonder when it is time for Madonna to turn into Cher/Bette Midler. When it is realistic for her to stop trying to be so &#39;now&#39;, and just be happy with her ~30 year career.

Britney Spears

Some people shouldn&#39;t be famous.

Some people shouldn&#39;t have kids.

Some people shouldn&#39;t have relationships.

I feel troubled when I think about Brit Spears. I feel bad for her. It seems like she &#39;went insane&#39; now she is just sort of sedated, and rolled out to perpetuate her brand.

Leave Brit Alone, yall.




It seems like she is talented. She married Jay-Z. Always has definitive songs and video.



Wonder if &#39;Single Ladies&#39; was the perfectly executed song/theme/video integration strategy gimmickry of the decade.

Lady Gaga

It seems like she is probably &#39;the new Madonna&#39; since Brit Spears couldn&#39;t stay normal/functional. It seems like she is legitimately talented and self-aware, so it is probably a good thing that she is filling that niche. She will have fun, wear zany outfits, say stupid things, and we can all form an opinion/laugh about it.

Thanks for being entertaining Lady Gaga. Not sure if I take women in music very seriously, and you might be the perfect solution for this niche market.

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey is a unique talent who will continue to surround herself with high level producers who know what to do with her voice.



Hope she stays at the top of her game, but afraid she will probably get old+fat in the next decade. I&#39;m sure she is relieved that Whitney Houston turned to a life of drugs and Bobby Brown.

Mariah Carey&#39;s major error of the decade was marrying Nick Cannon.

No1 wants 2 die alone.




Tier 8: Wal Mart Rock

Music for people who you are better than. The poor people who shop at Walmart for all of their needs--food, toiletries, cell-phone plans, guns, and rock CDs. (sorta wish Whole Foods offered my demographic more goods+services).


3 Doors Down



(This band rlly sucks).



"Chad Kroeger is a fucking genius."

-Person who knows &#39;nothing&#39; about music

"Chad Kroeger is a fucking ass hole idiot worthless human being."

-Person who knows &#39;everything&#39;/&#39;too much&#39; about music

Understanding the power of Nickelback means understanding the power of Wal Mart Rock. No matter how &#39;authentic&#39; you think your taste in music is, you always need to remember that you are in the minority. There are tons of poor people in rural+middle America who still buy CDs



Never made it as a wise man

I couldn&#39;t cut it as a poor man stealing

Tired of living like a blind man

I&#39;m sick of sight without a sense of feeling

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

-Chad Kroeger appeals 2 the simple man.




Tier 7: Bands that Outgrew the &#39;Indie&#39; Label Due to Talent/Marketing Power/Timeliness

Bigger than Indie. The New Mainstream. Indie is Dead. Indie Never Was.

Death Cab for Cutie



Deathcab seems to have followed a predictable career path. They were probably better in the middle of the decade, but as they &#39;got more popular&#39; the appeal+quality of their music continued to go down the shitter.

Really want to build a time machine and listen to meaningfulcore indie before the world got all jaded/snarky/meaningless.




The Strokes

The Strokes are easy to like. They are authenticity marketed to inauthentic people, inspiring the authentic fan base to feel betrayed/marginalized when tweens list &#39;The Strokes&#39; in their fave music on myspace/facebook.



Beyond their sound, I feel like the Strokes define the general perception of &#39;what we want a band 2 look like&#39; in the 2k0 decade.

"They must be from a kewl city or something."

-suburban fans

I think I probably won&#39;t listen to them for another 10 years, but then listen to it and appreciate it.


Kings of Leon

In 2k9, it is easy to hate the Kings of Leon, but probably because they perfected the evolution process of the modern band. From what I understand, the Kings of Leon were just some teenagers who were the sons/extended-family of a traveling pentecostal preacher--they had no exposure to music/culture/&#39;the world&#39;. Eventually they found out there was no God, and their lives completely changed. They started to make music at a late age.

I am interested to see what they evolve into, because it might get really bad/great. Afraid mainstream bros have ruined it, though.



U know that I could use somebody....

some1 like u....



The Most Vulnerable Song of the 2k0s?




Tier 6: The "Negro Leagues"

Music by African American artists, usually about urban themes, that some how appeal to every one. Really wish I could figure out how/why &#39;rap&#39;/hip-hop is so widely accepted and popular. Maybe it is the perfect form of music.

50 Cent

This bro seems like a terrible rapper, but some how has a respected brand. I think it was because he was legitimately a &#39;gangster&#39; who got shot a bunch of times before he realized he could make money legally by rapping over &#39;sick beats.&#39;


Miscellaneous members of the Wu Tang Clan

It seems authentic to enjoy miscellaneous members of the Wu Tang Clan as rap artists. They seem to use high level samples and sing about &#39;urban life&#39; in an authentic way, as opposed to just talking about booze/drugs/sex/going-to-jail/fuck-whitey in the traditional tone.


The Black Eyed Peas

I feel like the Black Pea Eyes are some sort of &#39;pep rally&#39; type of &#39;pump yall up&#39; type of band for humanity. It seems like their songs are usually catchy/poppy/well-crafted. Maybe Will.I.Am is a genius. Definitely the Wyclef Jean of the Decade.

Really fascinatingly awkward to watch them perform a song like &#39;Boom Boom Pow&#39; live.



Maybe they are from the future or something. Maybe I should put them on my &#39;workout playlist&#39;


I am not sure why people like Jay-Z so much. It seems like he just raps about how great/authentic he is, then will reference being from New York, then make some sort of reference to a great basketball player/business man. I&#39;m not sure. I feel like I just described all rap.

A lot of his songs also seem to be about hating women. &#39;99 problems but a bitch aint 1&#39;, and &#39;big pimpin&#39; seem to be about putting women in their place. I guess he appeals to domineering white males who thing they are great. Talking this out helped me to understand his success.


Lil Wayne

Lil Wayne has face tats. Lil Wayne smokes marijuana. Lil Wayne drinks lean until he gets retarded. Lil Wayne puts babies in mommas. Lil Wayne buys illegal guns from the black market. Lil Wayne is a rapper who &#39;gets deep&#39; about his life sometimes. Michael Phelps listened to Lil Wayne before winning tons of Gold Medals. I am not sure why Lil Wayne &#39;broke thru.&#39;



I feel scared of Eminem&#39;s success. From what I understand, he mainly &#39;made topical jokes&#39; about celebrities, back before snark celeb blogs did that on a daily basis. In addition, he also wrote songs about killing his mother. It seems like he is a consumer force.

&#39;Maybe it was just because he was white.&#39; -settling on a simple opinion



I think Ludacris has an interesting voice, and all of his songs are pretty inspiring. &#39;Move Bitch&#39; is a song about males asserting their power and space, a theme all humans must familiarize themselves with.

In 2000&#39;s hit love song "What&#39;s Your Fantasy", Ludacris sings about wanting to lick the woman he loves from her head to her toes.


Seems like a simple bro, kind of like Panda Bear.



I am impressed by the pop power of Outkast. It seems like Andre 3000 is the valuable talent in the band, not the rapper bro. Even though it seemed like both members of the band wanted to go in different directions, they stayed together to release Speakerboxx/the Love Below.

This reminds me of having a discussion with a total bro about how this was &#39;the best album ever made.&#39;

I feel like &#39;Bombs Over Baghdad&#39; has been selected as their &#39;most authentic&#39; hit of the 2000s by music critics who like to include pop rap on their BEST OF THE DECADE lists.



I generally respect Outkast, but I really don&#39;t know anything about their history/context/evolution.


Kanye West

Kanye West finally embraced the &#39;egoism&#39; gimmick associate with most rappers. He honestly believed he was the best, and wasn&#39;t afraid to let the world know that he thought he was the best.

I feel the concept of &#39;greatness&#39; produces a very warped human being. While most other rappers learn how to contain their ego, and market it in effective ways, Kanye West &#39;went big&#39;, and we should probably respect him for it. As opposed to be some forgettable humble bro talking about &#39;his art&#39;, he stood up for his art/existence, something that more humans need to do.

Remember Kanye West&#39;s &#39;first hit&#39; "THROUGH THE WIRE"? It was a rap song about how awesome he was for surviving a near-fatal car crash, then having the passion



Sorta reminds me of something Jesus would have done.

I feel entertained by Kanye West, but feel like he will probably die prematurely somehow.



Nelly is the #1 rapper of the decade. His hits really appeal to the masses.



&#39;Hey, it must be the money.&#39; - Nelly



Who could ever forget Nelly&#39;s love letter to the popular shoe Air Force Ones?



(Please Note: I know nothing abt the state of hip hop.)




Tier 5: Bands that need another Decade to Become &#39;Legends&#39;

These bands will probably be in the rock n roll hall of fame.


Rob Thomas

If the world had known that Rob Thomas was going to evolve into some funky soft rock singing bro, would alt rock fans have supported Matchbox 20 at the turn of the century?



[via Smooth Ft Santana]

Worried that this bro will be around for 30+ years, generating similar songs over and over again.


The Killers

Remember the personal brands of the early Killers, back when they were &#39;just a buzzband&#39;?

Then they got rugged.

I feel like the Killers and the Kings of Leon are possibly the decade&#39;s most &#39;successful bands.&#39; Somehow, they have both transitioned into festival headliner-status bands. This must mean that their music is &#39;good&#39;/they appeal to a lot of ppl. Both bands are not afraid to write &#39;massive/epic ballads&#39; that are meant to fill arenas/festivals.



Feel like I possibly respect this existence/career path as a band more than the &#39;trying 2 stay authentic&#39; indie band.

The best music in the world appeals to the

&#39;I got soul but I&#39;m not a soulja.&#39;

&#39;R we human or are we dancer?&#39;

&#39;I&#39;m so much older than I can take.&#39;

-Brandon Flowers


Linkin Park

If I could be in any band, I might choose to be in Linkin Park. It seems like they are probably &#39;the next radiohead&#39; (this may or may not be an insult to radiohead fans). It seems like they are conceptual, write approachable songs that may or may not be more awesome than we realize.

Maybe Linkin Park is a good thing for society since it is some sort of healthy therapy for people who can&#39;t afford professional help. Maybe there&#39;s nothing wrong with turning modern angst into a genre that appeals to lower-middle class America + AZNs who drive Honda civics.





Tier 3: Supremely Talented Human Beings

Sometimes it is easy to forget that we are watching &#39;greatness&#39;/highly talented individuals excel at their craft.

Sufjan Stevens

I feel like Sufjan wrote some of the most definitive indie songs of the decade. Sort of like weird Christian indie rock.  Seems like a weird bro who lives in vans for fun.




Panda Bear

I wonder how much time Panda Bear actually put into his hit album Person Pitch. I wonder if Animal Collective would still be culturally relevant/as good without Noah Lennox in the band.


&#39;Bros.&#39; - Noah Lennox




R Kelly

R Kelly is a sick, demented human being who likes having sex with teenage girls, urinating on them and implanting them with his semen. He lives in a dream world, and he writes songs about this dream world. Maybe RKelly is so successful because so many people want to venture into his world, standing trial for &#39;acts of love.&#39;


Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams seems to fit the &#39;fatally flawed human being&#39; cliche of most &#39;immensely talented artists.&#39; I feel like he has produced a lot of content in the decade, which makes him &#39;more exposed&#39; for critics to locate holes. Maybe music fans feel comfortable with a new album very 2.5-3 years.

&#39;Come Pick Me Up&#39; may or may not be the most meaningful love song of the 2000s.




Justin Timberlake

"Gonna have u nekkit by the end of this song." -Justin Timberlake

The World needed Justin Timberlake to be successful. We needed him to help us forget about the boy band era. He stands for something more than his own personal evolution.

He &#39;was funny&#39; on SNL according to critics.

He &#39;gets to act like a black person&#39; when black people are around.

He is involved with singing/producing hit songs.

He is &#39;talented.&#39;




Tier 2: Lifestyle Brand Bands

These bands are lifestyle brands. The Coca Cola/Nike/Wal Mart level brands that exist in the form of bands. They are pillars. They must exist.


Blink 182

&#39;All the Small Things&#39; (2001) was a very successful song/video, back as the boyband era was dying and MTV still had the audience to propel a band&#39;s brand.



They seem to have marketed the California skater punk corporate designer tshirt wearing altbro market, teaching kids all around the globe how to wear wristbands and have a zany,outgoing personal brand. All of their songs sound the same, but I think that is the mark of a lifestyle brand level band.

They also broke up, 1 bro formed a shitty &#39;new wave&#39; band, then 1 bro almost died in a plane crash, then they got back together.


The Beatles

I can&#39;t believe these bros still sell so many albums. Maybe the best thing that ever happened to the Beatles was John Lennon getting &#39;assassinated.&#39; It gave us the opportunity to preserve our image of the Beatles and the 60s+70s. I would feel bad seeing 4 old dudes performing their old hits, making millions of dollars touring around the world, still challenging themselves&#39; to make &#39;great albums&#39; in a world where they are older, and potentially &#39;fit in&#39; less than ever.

(I wonder if the world would respect Ringo Starr more or less if the Beatles were still around).

The Beatles benefited from so many changes in formats. Record --> &#39;analog ---> 8track --->tapes--->CDs--->digitally remastered ---> video game Rock Band format.

I guess &#39;they deserve&#39; money though, right? Cuz they are good? Or should there be revenue sharing with less fortunate bands.

The World Prefers Bands with 4 bros in them. This is what we want.



Let me go on the record by saying that I &#39;openly dislike Radiohead&#39;, mainly because I think it makes me a more authentic music fan. Maybe they have had some great moments, and potentially made some solid/innovative albums. I don&#39;t really feel comfortable with letting them be considered the #1 band of the decade. It seems like they sorta lucked out because their major label contract dissolved/ended, and they were able to let people &#39;pay what they want&#39; [via the internet].

I think most music critic bros are close to the age of 30, and probably have a warped perception of Radiohead, since it was probably their &#39;experimenting with drugs&#39; music from 1995-2005.

&#39;Yesterday, I woke up sucking a lemon.&#39; -Thom Yorke

Confused. Seem talented, but not very likable. I prefer American products, unless it is Coldplay/the beatles/etc.



Probably the most resented/backlash-inspiring new band of the 2k0s. Sorta weird how far they&#39;ve come. I wonder what the 2k10s will bring for them--will they choose to &#39;be themselves&#39; or will they just try to be U2/the beatles/oasis/etc.

Chris Martin got so famous that he got to marry Gwyneth Paltrow. Coldplay seems to have defined one of the most defined sounds of the 2k0s. I feel like most modern bands that are attempting to &#39;make it big&#39; are compared in relation to Coldplay. I feel like they sort of embraced their gimmick for a while, but then attempted to get all artsy with that &#39;Viva La Vida&#39; album.

I feel like &#39;the evolution of coldplay&#39;s sound&#39; is less interesting than the evolution of their personal brands.

Kinda shows has 4 bros who form a &#39;rock n roll band&#39; truly can turn into four huge douchebaggy looking bros who write honky music that 80% of the world enjoys.

"Look at the stars,

look how they shine for u"

-coldplay, 2k2


"I used 2 rule the world..."

-coldplay, 2k9



People seem to h8 U2, but I feel like their brand is strong and their songs are pretty inspirational, mainly because they are general enough to appeal to humanity as a whole. I can&#39;t imagine anything more challenging than &#39;writing a song for the common man when you are one of the 10 most famous ppl on the planet&#39;, but Bono seems up to the challenge, and has managed to deliver on multiple levels for several decades.

I wonder how &#39;buzzworthy&#39; U2 would be if they were a new band in 2k9.

Would they experience a &#39;backlash&#39; on their 2nd/3rd album?

I feel like U2 has done the best job of maintaining reasonable personal brands as they aged.

People seem to &#39;resent&#39; Bono/think he is some sort of huge joke for becoming such a social activist, but I feel like Bono, Bill Gates, and Lance Armstrong are probably three of the only publicly commercialized humans who managed to effectively lend their brand to a global mission.

U2&#39;s "Beautiful Day" may or may not be the song of the decade. Maybe 2day really is a beautiful day. Can&#39;t believe they wrote that song in 2000, already knowing that every day truly was beautiful.



Maybe U2 is the perfect band. Maybe we want all mainstream music to be &#39;great.&#39; We all want to fill up the same football stadium and be uplifted by four regular men playing guitar+drums+bass+vocally talented bro.



Maybe U2 this decade proves that U2 is better than the Beatles. Maybe U2 did something the Beatles were all too selfish/self-centered to do. They stayed together and moved forward with a global mission driving their creative process. It seems like there is a point where money/success/fame/critical acclaim become irrelevant/obsolete. U2 may or may not be transcendent.





The Most Authentic/Relevant/Successful Artist of the 2k0 Decade

#1: John Mayer

The year is 2000. My name is John Mayer. Hello.

At the turn of the century, u met John Mayer as a standard cargo pant bro who played ditties on the guitar.  This was the kind of bro you wanted to be friends with at the time, before you decided on your eventual personal brand in 2k4.  Kinda weird how he evolved.  Sort of intimidating how good he is at guitar.  Sort of like he is &#39;taking a huge shit&#39; on indie music/critically acclaimed indie  rock.



John Mayer is &#39;a self-aware douchebag.&#39;

He dates famous broads.

He picks up Brad Pitt quality leftovers.

Remember the time John Mayer got to be the only white bro in the Michael Jackson funeral show?



What makes a rock star? What does a successful musician have that &#39;regular people&#39; don&#39;t have? I feel like the core elements of success that people in the 2k0 decade are &#39;fame&#39;, &#39;ability to have sex with attractive people&#39;, &#39;money&#39;, and &#39;acknowledgment of talent.&#39;  John Mayer seems like a role model.

Was any musician more &#39;successful&#39; than John Mayer? Did he become &#39;more than just a singer-songwriter bro&#39;? How did he handle &#39;fame&#39;/reaching the status of becoming a &#39;parody of himself&#39;?

@JohnCMayer has over 2.5 million followers on twitter. He seems dedicated to staying connected to his tribe, letting his followers know his offbeat opinions of world issues.

&#39;Your Body is a Wonderland&#39; may or may not have been the Ultimate Mix CD 4 a girl song in the first half of the decade. These days, it is more difficult to make a good mix CD for a member of the opposite, since your partner has been exposed to more music, and you are no longer



I wonder if we all want to run through the halls of our high school.

I wonder if we all thought we&#39;d escape from the real world.

I wonder if we all think &#39;the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve.&#39;

I wonder if we think there is some sort of alternative spirit that we can cultivate, live by it, living a richer, more fulfilling life.

"No Such Thing" might be the #1 song of the decade by the #1 artist of the decade. The video reminds me of the image we wanted an artist to project at the turn of the century. Some1 we could trust, legitimately talented, singing songs about the human condition.


"Welcome to the real world", she said to me


Take a seat

Take your life

Plot it out in black and white

Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings

And the drama queens

I&#39;d like to think the best of me

Is still hiding

Up my sleeve

They love to tell you

Stay inside the lines

That something&#39;s better

On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the

Top of my lungs

I just found out there&#39;s no such thing as the real world

just a lie you&#39;ve got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track

Faded white hats

Grabbing credits

Maybe transfers

They read all the books but they can&#39;t find the answers

And all of our parents

They&#39;re getting older

I wonder if they&#39;ve wished for anything better

While in their memories

Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you

Stay inside the lines

But something&#39;s better

On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the

Top of my lungs

I just found out there&#39;s no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible (x3)

As long as I&#39;m alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the

Top of my lungs

I just found out there&#39;s no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you&#39;ve got to rise above

I just can&#39;t wait til my 10 year reunion

I&#39;m gonna bust down the double doors

And when I stand on these tables before you

You will know what all this time was for

One day, u will make something of urself. You will prove to the people who didn&#39;t &#39;get&#39; u in high school that you are more valuable to society than them.

You will prove to them that your perception of the world is the most valid perspective in the world. You have a career where you are contributing to society and getting paid for them.  One day you&#39;ll show them.  Until then, fill your iPod with empowering music that has themes which directly relate 2 ur life.  Find meaning in the music.  Lose yourself.  Let Go. You better lose yourself in the music, the moment.  You own it, you better never let it go;  you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow.  This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.  It was a beautiful day... I used 2 rule the world.


This was the decade.

I appreciate artists. I appreciate having mp3s on my iPod, usually for free.

I appreciate consuming bands, analyzing their image, comparing them to the past, predicting their value in the future.

I enjoy artists who embrace success, understanding that the best music is usually listened to by the largest number of people.

What is &#39;success&#39; for the modern band? Album sales? Digital sales? A good review from a website? Selling out arenas?

What was ur favourite tier of artists?

Which artists were omitted/which tiers were overlooked?

Should &#39;relevant indie music&#39; matter more than &#39;shitty mainstream bullshit&#39;?

Did indie rock become &#39;shitty mainstream bullshit&#39;?

Which band had the biggest 2k0s?

Which band will have the biggest 2k10s?


what&#39;s next in 2k10. The Tweens are Growing Up.

Maybe our time is over.

The 2K0s: The Were the Altest of Times...They were the Mainstreamest of Times....

'Are video games too violent for humans/do they inspire I.R.L. violence?' -progressive journalism in the 90s

Hey yall. As yall know, I spend most of my time on the internet, but sometimes I like to escape 2 a different reality by playing some video games. Decided to 'smoke a bowl of marijuana cigarettes' and unwind by playing this new chill game. Had to go on a 'mission.'


Damn. This game seems 'mad violent.' Like stuff that they use to train terrorists/miscellaneous evil people in the world who do things like 'shoot up high schools/colleges/work places.' I wonder if it is good to have progressive games like this. Do u think they offer 'truly sick people' a reality where they can enact their rage, or is it more of an incubator for terrible I.R.L. things 2 happen? Sometimes I feel happy that some of the most 'fucking pathetic' people in society are lost in a world of video games, pornography, and Doritos/Hot Pockets. It makes me happy that they live indoors, and don't even know what it feels like when the sun hits their skin. Feel like they get most of their perspectives on the world from movies like 'The Matrix' and other ideologically-charged action scifi movies.

Do u think it would be sweet to play a video game with these scenarios?

  • driving a UHAUL with a bomb up to a federal building and 'blowing that shit up'
  • going on a serial killer type of spree where u rape/murder/bury bodies beneath ur house
  • flying planes into buildings
  • backpack bombing public areas
  • shooting up a school and having 2 kill over 50% of the students
  • trying to ignite a bomb on a commercial airliner

I wonder if video games are 'better than ever.' Maybe this is the type of stuff that all humans want 2 do, but now we finally have a realm where it is safe 2 do it.

Maybe all humans want the same things.  Maybe we just want 2 cum at all costs.

Just want a room full of vaginas to make love to.

Need a way to take out my tween angst.

So many different video games. Wonder which 1 I would be if I 'loved video games.' Feel like I might either be a tween who plays a Nintendo DS, and has digital friends/pets/possessions in a simulated world, or maybe just an old person who plays Wii to battle Alzheimer's/depression/arthritis/diabetes.

Wish more video games brought humans 2gether, instead of promoting the killage of humans.

Want to connect with my local retirement community scene, coming together, celebrating our last years on Earth.

Feeling confused. At the beginning of this post, I thought video games were terrible for humanity, but then by the end of my internet research, I determined that there are positive uses for video game simulated technology. I feel like we need to promote human connections, but it would also be acceptable to round up the major threats to society, and allow them to get most of their life experiences in a simulated version of a violent reality.

It seems like if we programmed some sort of violent video game that took 40-100 years to beat, we could really save a lot of communities/international relations. Just want 2 live forever, and eliminate violence.

Not sure abt video games.
Do yall know of any video games that are safe/violent?
Are video games a 'waste of time'?
Do u know if we could build some sort of system where we plug human brains into a hyper-reality, but actually use their body heat to create the energy that powers the computers that run our society?
Are video games 'the master art' since they combine all elements of modern art?

Previous Video Game Coverage

Game Boy Necklace Blipster....
Beatles Rock Band = ghey
Landing in the Hudson River video game

Indie Bro Obsession & the Objectification of Female Indie Alt Celeb Musicians.

I was recently watching a youtube video of an indie bro watching a youtube video of a live performance by the popular indie female artist The St. Vincent.  The video is compelling content, an open love letter to the female of his dreams.   In the video, he pours out his emotional/spiritual/sexual/intellectual desires, letting St. Vincent know that 'they could have a perfect life together.'


Transcription of youtube video:

Hey St Vincent. I'm sitting here sprung out watching 'You Dig a Pony' meanwhile I just want to be digging your pony. I think you're sexy as hell. I've been stalking you since back when you were just an mp3 blogger meme, back in 2006. But I saw your potential, and here we are almost four years later, rich and famous. And I'm just so proud. I see you wearing those black tights all the time underneath your skirts and shorts, and to me, that just make a nigga go buck wild. The locks of your hair curl to perfection. You got a slammin bod and my dick raise up like a scissor kick when you hit the high note. But all I wanna know is, can you shred on your guitar like that bent over? I like that you sing in two microphones, because then it's like there's two of you, and I always wished that God made two of you so that I could fuck you while you lick my ass. Your lips are sexy red and I want to rub the large space in between your eyes. I'm best friends with Grizzly Bear, and I just want all of us to be friends in Brooklyn, and maybe live in your house and sleep in your bed. And I hope that when you watch this vid, you fall in love with me, because when I turn my swagger on, no one got it like this, and I be in your mother fucking dreams tonight. Thank you for watching my youtube, St. Vincent. Thank you for your music. And I love you.

I think many people would probably find this video to be 'sick', 'troublesome', and miscellaneous feelings that would put them 'above this type of cheap ploy for attention.' But it's important to talk about how altbros, indie bros, and music criticism middle aged bros view females in the alternative music scene. If we can assume that men are the driving force behind indie buzz, indie record sales, the indie media, and altEverything, then how do we fairly assess women's role in 'the whole scene.' It seems like in this open love letter to St. Vincent, the youtubeBro gave us a valuable insight into the true desires of all bros who are alt/indie/etc.

This is what alternative males want:

  • We to be loved.
  • We want to be relevant.
  • We want to 'bang' bitches in 'mad crazy' positions
  • We want to live a perfect life in a relevant city
  • We want to be bffs with bands
  • We want to follow bands/artists and watch them grow and attribute their success to ourselves for being on the forefront of relevancy.
  • We want 'the most respected female' in the indie scene to be our gf [via the altbaguette theory]

How does indie bro obsession impact the indiesphere?

Will an ugly/not cute girl ever 'make it' as an indie artist? It seems like indie bros who 'shape' the indie world will always have trouble evaluating female artists. I think the first thing men look at is 'how attractive is the female.' That seems to be 'the most important element' when evaluating a woman in any profession (strippers, actresses, accountants, secretaries, etc).

I think it is also important for indie females to 'seem like they are real musicians.' This can be accomplished by either displaying a relatively high level of 'musicianship', or even just by 'appearing to take themselves seriously.' Many say that behind every great woman is a great man, so even if a 'skilled male producer' creates mad beats, the female band member/lead singer still has a very important task in terms of branding the live performance with the level of 'into-it-ness' of her presence.

Whenever I see coverage of an indie starlet, I imagine some music criticism bro wild a mildly erect penis while writing a blurb. In a short blurb, the music critic bro can project his feelings/hopes/dreams/desires. He can mention that the female artist is 'hot' but also say something that clearly indicates 'we need to take her seriously.' All blurbs about female artists by men are unintentional manifestos in which we 'search 4 a sexual identity.' I wrote this post to 'come to terms' with my homosexuality/heterosexuality/bisexuality/pansexuality/indiesexuality.

I feel like I am in search of 'the perfect alt woman', and I can't help but entirely identify with the St. Vincent Love Letter Vlog.  I want 2 be loved, have krazie sex, and also have an authentic life.  I am not sure if I like listening to music by women, but I feel like I will watch them if they are 'hot.'  It seems impossible for men to 'actually like' music by women, since many of the lyrical themes are coming from the 'fucking dreamworld' that exists inside of a girl's head.

Wonder if I would consider living my perfect life with the Dirty Projector altbaguettes.

Even the Zany SNL video meme bro got 'roped in' by the prospects of a 'perfect alt life' with Joanna Newsom.

How do yall think that the horniness of men impacts the critical acceptance of women? Can indie bros 'put aside their desire 2 mate' when evaluating females in music? Will an 'ugly woman' ever be very successful at anything, or does society naturally 'select out' the uggos? Should we segregate the indiesphere by gender? Should there be a 'pitchfork4Girls' instead of reading men evaluating women?

Does some sort of subconscious sexual desire impact the acceptance of all females?  Is the indiesphere an 'equal opportunity' hype machine?

Maybe indie bros are bisexuals. Maybe we do evaluate everything fairly. Maybe we just need to 'learn 2 love' regardless of (sexual) gender and (musical) genre.


Maybe we all need 2 take a lil ride on the chillwave...

How do the sexual desires of men impact the indie perception bubble/the Western World/the Middle East?
When u watch a female artist, what do u expect from her?
Are chick flicks/romantic comedies and indie-ish female musicians some sort of marketing gimmick to exploit the infamous 'female' demographic of humans?
If u like a band with a male lead singer, are u 'kinda ghey'?
Do women like male singers because they want to 'make love' to them/get swept off their feet into a rock n roll lifestyle?
Is it realistic for men to identify with themes in music made by females?
Will men ever see women as 'anything more than a fuck doll'?

Is Portland's alternative brand deteriorating?

Photo via the cobrasnake

I have always heard that Portland is the perfect alternative city . It's not like Brooklyn cuz u don't have too many inauthentic transplants moving there and accidentally 'corrupting the scene' since they are 'alternative immigrants' who need 5-10 years to learn 'the way of life.' It seems like a place where they actually honor alternative ideals, such as 'going green', 'being vegan', and chilling in the wilderness/public space. They have some sort of 'thriving music scene'... There must 'be something in the water' or something that has made it an alternative utopia. I imagine that if u walk down the streets in Portland, u will see dozens of conceptual pop bands performing for the sake of music--not to make money.

I was startled when I saw this t-shirt that said Portland FUCKING Oregon. It made me think that my assumptions about Portland's brand were entirely wrong. Maybe they are undergoing some sort of 'massive population shift', or perhaps the city has been corrupted with transplants. The shirt seems 'in ur face', as if the city of Portland is a hardXcore band, or possibly a crabcore band. It seems like Portland's authenticity might be 'going up in flames.'

I feel scared about this shirt, sort of like how the 'Keep Austin Weird' shirt sold the Austin TX 'free-spirited' brand to mainstreamers, eventually leading to tons of corporate development, making the city 60-90% less authentic.

I might move somewhere, and create a "Keep (location) alt" t-shirt. It will probably have to be somewhere in 'the middle of nowhere.'

I just need to find a place to live that is 'perfect 4 me.' Tons of kewl bands passing through, a thriving alternative scene/economy, and possibly some sort of organic foods market. Hope I live in a community that has banned walmarts. Hope that I live in a place that is good for 'singles.' Hope I find a place where the real me can be set free.

Worried about Portland FUCKING Oregon.
Does n e 1 from Portland FUCKIGN Oregon know if Portland FUCKING Oregon is in trouble?

Does ur community/scene have an 'official shirt'?
Do authentic ppl wear this shirt, or is it just for 'tourists and maltstreamers'?
Where do u want 2 live when ur a grown up?

A group of animal loving alts protesting Michael Vick’s release from ‘the slammer.’

Photo via animal

Recently, an NFL quarterback named 'Michael Vick' went to jail because he had a huge dogfighting operation in his backyard. From what I understand, he would train pitbulls to fight at high stakes, underground, illegal dog fights. The dogs that were not 'tough enough' were drowned, hung, and electrocuted. Somehow, he got caught, then went to prison for like a year or two.

Recently, Mike Vick was released from 'the slammer.' He was signed to a new team called the Philadelphia Eagles, and a group of alternative people came out to protest not only his return to society, and particularly his return to the NFL. They believe that he should be 'in jail forever' for his crimes against dogmanity. They are also intent on illustrating that Michael Vick is 'not a role model', but it seems like modern society has already accepted the fact that athletes are not role models [via Charles Barkley marketing campaign].


Seems 'obvious' that these 'winners of the genetic lottery' playing professional sports without much of a 'real education' are not role models. Seems like it would be sweet to be them, since you get a lot of money to do what you are 'naturally good at', but seems very obvious that athletes are 'not role models.'

It seems like Michael Vick went to prison for 'longer than rapists go to jail' and possibly longer than some 'drunk drivers who kill people' go to prison. From what I understand, since Mike Vick was 'famous', they decided to 'make an example' of him, even though he really didn't hurt a human or anything. It seems like it still might be 'bad' that he harmed some living creatures, but still plausibly 'not as bad' as harming a human. It seems like there are some people on the planet who love animals more than they love humans.

Dog fighting seems violent. I am not sure what the difference is between dog fighting, boxing, and 'MMA' is. It seems like it might all be creatures trying to 'fucking kill' one another.

I am not sure why people love dogs so much. It seems like it might be an 'American thing' where u r supposed to have a dog in order to have a perfect life. It seems like some people 'love animals' more than they love humanity. I feel like there are a lot of people who are the same way with the 'environment' or something. It seems most reasonable to 'care about other humans' more than anything else.

People really seem to 'get fired up' about animal rights.
Here is a group of AZNs doing some metaphorical protest in support of Animal Rights

Here are some lonely men getting their protest on & raising awareness about dog fighting.

It seems like animal rights bros are 'very angry' about this, and if they had their way, we would kill Michael Vick in the same way that he killed a bunch of dogs. Like we would dunk him in water, hang him, beat him, and electrocute him.

Should we forgive this 'criminal'?

I think his excuse was 'in my poor black community, dog fighting was not only a sport--but a way of life.' It seems like we shouldn't hold it against him for wanting to become the greatest dog trainer in the history of the Earth--he honestly might not have known that what he was doing was 'wrong', or perhaps he did it all because it was some sort of think piece to inspire us to analyze how humans hurt one another on a daily basis.

Hopefully he will be safe from protesters upon his return to the playing field. Not sure if this picture is real, but worried this might happen to him during a game if he returns.

Do yall know if 'dog fighting' is wrong?
Do u know if 'human fighting' is wrong?
Is it possibly to 'rehabilitate' people from 'the streets'?
Do football players 'fight' and 'harm one another' just as much as dogs do when they fight?
Do u support athletes, or are they just 'ass holes who get paid too much and do stupid things'?
Do dogs have 'human rights'?
Are 'underground animal fights' the new 'music festivals'?

Previous animal rights coverage

Is 'The Pope' the next relevant buzz band?

I read today at the Daily Swarm that the Pope 'signed' to interscope records to 'drop' an album. He is apparently going 2 sing + recite some shit, and they are gonna 'garageband' that shit over choirs singing epic bangers. I feel excited about this, because it shows that you don't have to be 'cool' or 'musical' to get a record deal. You just have to have passion about a concept. The Popes will had 'mad passion' about God, and appeal to people who are 'hella down' with being Catholic + miscellaneous Christian themes.

Check out the Interscope logo. Seems like a 'free spirited' brand 4 kids transitioning 2 tweens, kinda like Taco Bell/Highlights Magazine or something.

I feel like it might be a 'brand weakener' for the Pope, because he will have to associate with artists who he 'used to be better than.' Here is a list of Interscope artists who are now his 'equals.'

  • Feist
  • Will Smith
  • Eminem
  • Fergie
  • Black Eyed Peas
  • Gwen Stefani
  • Enrique Iglesias
  • Jimmy Eat Worlds
  • The Gaga Ladies
  • Limp Bizkit
  • Nelly Furtada
  • Papa Roach
  • Pussie Cat Dolls
  • u2
  • =w=
  • Yeah Yes Yeas

It seems risky for the Pope's brand. What if he doesn't have the #1 album in the world? Does that mean that religion is no longer 'relevant', and the Pope no longer has 'true fans'? Do yall think that the Pope will have to market his album in traditional ways? Do yall know if he will have to 'hand out fliers', 'put up banner ads on alt websites', 'try 2 get profile pieces in the NYTimes + Rolling Stone', and 'tweeting' excessively? Feel kinda afraid that the Catholic Church will 'try 2 hard' 2 sell records, and the church will turn into a 'business' instead of a place of worshiping the Lord.

I feel like Interscope should have signed Pope John Paul II, who was a pope from the 80s who was 'really big' with the Catholics. He was known as 'the postal service of Popes', because every1 was really into him.

It will be interesting to see if the Pope 'makes it.' It seems like in order to 'make it' as a relevant band today, you must have an organic buzz foundation, along with a strong marketing team. Hope that he is 'conceptual' or something. Just yearning for 'more' out of music than we experienced during the now defunct chillwave era of indie music.

Will yall buy an mp3 by the Pope, or will u wait til he is remixed by __________?

Will technologie save the American Economie?

Sometimes I wonder what 'the next big technologie' is and what sort of idea will change the way that we all consume a certain product/live my life. Sort of wish I could invent something that would make the world a better place by inspiring pure joy out of humans, and also 'make me hella rich' and possibly socially relevant to every1. Sorta like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin or Jason Twitter.

I feel like if I could have invented anything in the past 1000 years, I would have invented the popular vending machines called 'redboxes.'

Even though they sound like a vending machine that somehow 'gives u a blowjy', they are actually a DVD rental system, specifically aimed at poor people who shop at Wal Mart or eat at McDonalds regularly, and particularly at a special group of poors who shop at WalMarts and eat at a McDonalds within a WalMart.

Basically, u get to rent a movie for $1 from a redbox. Instead of dealing with Netflix's high subscription cost, or going into an overpriced store like the Blockbuster, u get to easily rent a movie for just $1. It seems almost 'too good to be true.' Sorta wish they also sold popcorn and Milk Duds in the same machine.

I feel like we're always so busy reading about bold new technological innovations that we forget that we are the socially elite members of society, and believe it or not, we are a minority. Real people can't find entertainment in things like twitter because their lives' are boring and they haven't reached a respectable level of self-awareness. They just see life as a trivial routine of going to work, eating, and shitting. Why would they value social networks or memes if they are basically living a dumb life with no desire for a 'creative outlet' where 'a tribe' is able to keep up with u? Real people 'know better' and don't try to cultivate value from feeling close to people on the internet, and they just try to find simple pleasures and stay happy+unhealthy.

I want to get more in touch with 'the common man.' The regular 'dudes and chicks' who are just looking for something to take up their time between the hours of 5-11:30 pm (the time after work, but before bed). Sometimes TV is pretty sweet, and eating can take up a lot of time too. Might get into a dead end relationship, start eating tons of 'shitty food', and chill my way over to a redbox everynight, telling myself that I'm 'getting a sweet deal.'

I get s00 tired of Barack Obama saying that we need 2 'get more technological' to save the economy, like some 'huge breakthru' is gonna save us. He needs to realize that we need to sell down market, creating an economy of 'poor people' who think that they 'have luxuries' and stuff like that. We need to help them feel empowered by making their lives' easier. While so many of the headlines go to things like 'twitter', 'macbook', and 'iPhone' just because they are overwhelming brands, we really need to realize that simple things make money too. Simple things last forever, that's why soda machines still chill in every building in America. For $1, you can have the pleasure of a refreshing cola beverage.

Feel like we need more vending machines, like pizza vending machines

Or possibly games where u 'have a slim chance of winning' but still give u 'hope' that ur special+smart+competent enough to win, like the game STACKER, or that game where you have to knock tokens over the edge to 'win.'

I believe that America can recover from 'the recession', but we have to admit that we are what we are. We have to admit that we are probably only a top20 nation in the world, and that we can build a self-sustaining economy if we just admit that we are humans who have simple pleasures. Sorta like a high school kid who 'thought he should get into an Ivy League school' but then realized he was only 'smarter than the dumb people in his/her high school' and 'started to settle for social acceptance as a reward.' We must get in touch with ourselves'. We can eat well until we die and watch cool shit every night [via HD]. Feel like we need to stop trying to be 'extremely innovative' and possibly just 'execute simple ideas.'

If ur a student going into college, I would encourage you to major in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Marketing, or Communications. These majors will enable you to see how the world works, and teach you to make good decisions about life.

See yall later. Gonna go rent a movie for $1. Hope I return it on times so I'm not charged $25. Get lazy sometimes but at least I get to keep a sweet DVD.

Please use the comments section to pitch ur ideas+economic recovery plan to 'the government.'

Not sure if I will honor Memorial Day because I don't believe in War, Government, & Violence

Yall. I went in 2 work 2day. Not sure if I believe in the Memorial Day holiday. I know that freedom isn't free, but I think that there are other ways to resolve international conflicts without guns, violence, and weapons of mass destruction.

Maybe I'm a dreamer/idealist, but today is just really hard 4 me. I want to say that I 'support our troops' but I don't know if I do. I'm a pretty liberal bro, so I just think progressively. I wish all of those troops were at home with their families, instead of fighting a White Vs. Brown war.

I think if I had been born a long time ago, I would have protested against every single war. Vietnam, WWII, the Battle of 1812, the Spanish American War, The Falklands War, the Aussie Vs British War. Not sure how I feel about communism...maybe America coulda learned something from The Reds... Maybe Obama has a lil bit of socialist inside of him...

h8 terrorism so much. h8 terrorists. Wish we could 'fucking execute all of them' after torturing them until they are all basically dead and have given us the exact coordinates of Osama Hussein Bin Laden.

Might think about war/life/family today by watching a war movie. Might watch Saving My Lil Bro Ryan starring Thomas Hanks.

Might watch Platoon starring Charlie Sheen.

Might watch Hot Shots starring Charlie Sheen.

FUCK WAR, yall.
How do yall feel abt war?
Has some1 that u know served in a war? Were they some 'poor/dumb bro' from ur high school?
Or just some 'douchebag who is trying 2 become a politician' or something like that?
Do yall think that God has Bless Our Troops?


In an effort to be mainstream, Carles decided 2 watch the popular television show 'The American Idols', and then blog about it.

8:00- Opening credits... fucking pumped.
8:02- omg. love this show. head gonna explode. wonder who will win this season.
8:05- yay. love Ryan Seacret. Think he might be 'ghey' though

8:06 - wonder if Ry Seacry had plastic surgery. Miss 'metrosexuals.' :::GAYDAR ALERT:::!!!
8:10- OMG! love this season's cast! I can relate to a few of them s00 much! 1 is from my hometown and went to a high school close to mine!

8:11 - Commercial.... i mean cmon America... do we really need Tacos for 99 cents? LOL!!

8:14 - ugh. finally. New guy is singing. Think his name is Justin Guarini. He is singing a jazzy version of Maroon 5. He might be 'ghey', but also might just be 'pumped to be famous for a month.'
8:16 - Simon is s0 mean!

8:17 - Love Paula!

8:18 - Some tween came up and sang Vanessa Carlton's "1000 Miles." Song always reminds me of the summer we went away 2 college, and I stayed in a long distance relaish.

8:19 - Commercial. OMG. Saw the scariest Volkswagen commercial. Need 2 get 1.
8:22 - Neil Diamond is the best! Great singer and great teacher! inspired.

8:23 - haha. Simon and Ryan goin at it. Those guys have great chemistry. Love their fashion.
8:25 - Just showed some rejects! some faggot dumb asian was such a fucking idiot! hahahaha! this guy sucks.... but he has a good heart... loves him


8:27 - OMG. Black woman got all mad! She seems like a real cunt! But I agree with the judges... all black people think that they are gifted at either music or sports... wish some1 would give them a reality check...


8:30 - Commercial. Yawn. Dorito break!
8:31 - Havin a craving... time to mash some peanut M&M's into some Ben And Jerry's... ugh... snacking will be the death of me... and my waistline! but 1 'junkfood day' per week won't be too bad.
8:34 - back on...
8:34 - is it just me, or has Paula had some work done?

8:35 - Fat black guy singing. Think America gets behind fat ppl because they feel bad that they are gonna die so soon of Diabetes (aka The Sugar).
8:37 - Some twink is singing. Don't think America will vote for his 'fggt ass.' especially cuz only 'dumb people' watch tv, and they are conservativez.

8:38 - some other gay guy is singing.... yawn... wish they could sexually screen these people. Need 2 write it into Prop 8....

8:41 - so gaytastic!!! transitioning into some bro who is trying to sound like Nickelback, I think.

8:43 - some old dad is singing. Time to get a 100 calorie pack! hehe
8:44 - taking the dog out to poop and pee
8:45 - have to take a shit
8:46 - Commercial. Ugh!!!!!! tired of seeing the same insurance commercial over and over!
8:50 - Hefty black girl singing. Think she might win so they can market her as 'the next Aretha Franklin.' Not sure if Beyonce will be willing 2 put on enough pounds to 'fill that niche.'

8:51 - Random thought... Would Jessica Simpson/Ashlee Simpson's career be better if they 'won' Ammy Idol?

8:53 - Kelly Clarkson singing 'Since U Been Gone.' she has 'star' written all over her....
8:55 - Commercial. UGH!!! laptop running out of battery. Gonna make some popcorn for the announcement of the winner.... simon's so mean! will dump Whoppers and Milk Duds into the popcorn to get some salty sweetness goin' on...
8:56 - Nervous for all of the contestants.
8:57- OMG...just eliminated my favourite contestant.... feel sad 4 them. Sad that they go back home to their small town and will become alcoholics/ substance abusers.
8:58 - Time for the winner.........after this commercial... UGH
8:59 - Calling in 1 last time to make sure my fave contestant wins. Gonna call from both my home phone and cell phone. hehe.
8:59 - OMG... here it comes...
8:59 - Ryan has envelope... opens it.
9:00 - THEY DID IT! They won... Think he/she is gonna be around this music industry or a long, long time.

9:00 - A Star Was Born
9:02 - Put in Freschetta pizza. Takes 25 minutes until crust golden brown. hungry

9:24 - Take out pizza from oven with oven mitt
9:25 - Burned the roof of my mouth with hot cheese...Shoulda let it cool off.
9:26 - Open up a 3 liter of root beer and pour it into a big cup
9:30 - put it on some soft porn while eating. Feel my penis get 36% erect
9:34 - finish entire pizza by myself 960 calories... ugh...
9:35 - penis fully erect, rubbing erect shaft with greasy palms. Lubricated. precum
9:39 - rubbing, waiting for a good sex scene to come up
9:43 - get restless, use my laptop to surf for a good porn scene
9:44 - rub butter on to my penis head and rub until is is 'incredibly sensitive.'
9:58 - after waiting for a good scene, finally settle on one that is 'kinda fucked up' but also 'very real.' has a good cum shot
10:03 - about to cum
10:05 - make myself ejaculate at the same time that the porno guy cums on her face
10:06 - take dish to the sink. pile with rest of dishes.
10:08 - have really bad gas. Keep farting.
10:10 - farted and a runny log of shit accidentally came out. go to restroom to take off shit-stained underwear and drop log into the toilet
10:14 - spend 5 minutes looking at myself in the body. Holding my rolls of fat


10:45 - feeling worthless and disgusting
10:50 - write down a workout regiment for the next week...seriously cutting out bad foods.
10:52 - jerk myself off. cum, but it is clear and trickles out.
10:54 - examine myself for cancer
10:55 - worried i have cancer
11:04 - google 'cancer symptoms' and convince myself I have cancer
11:06 - eat a Hot Pocket

11:10 - get angry at myself. cut myself. long gash down my abdomen.
11:11 - bleeding into sink. getting light headed
11:14 - throw up hot pocket. Feel better
11:15 - call 3 friends. no one picks up
11:16 - call my dad to freak him out. Needing attention. haven't talked to him in 5 years.
11:20 - tell him that I am going to 'fucking kill myself.'
11:30 - crying on the bathroom floor. puddle of blood. Drinking a beer mixed with Nyquil and other downers
11:31 - get rifle out from underneath my bed
11:33 - sobbing uncontrollably. shit. Put rifle into my mouth
11:34 - think to myself 'seriously? Is this what I fucking want to do? Do you fucking know what you are doing? You can't fucking do anything right. Fuck. You are too pussy. You can't do anything right.'
11:36 - Check email one last time. Search twitter for something that would inspire me
11:38 - write a series of cryptic emails, facebook wall posts, myspace comments and tweets to people who I know well, and also to people who I don't know.
11:39 - make an iTunes playlist with a mix of Linkin Park, Needle in the Hay, and "adam's song" for people to find playing when they discover me. Also carve 'please tell mom this is not her fault' on my tummy with a steak knife.
11:40 - Check Perez Hilton for his reaction 2 2nite's AI... feel the same way as him.
11:40 - Blow my brains out. Last words were 'Goodnight moon.'

This has been a liveblog by Carles of the popular weblog For more American Idol coverage, please visit

Please comment with who u think will win next season.
What else should I liveblog, yall? Think it is 'fun' and makes me feel knnected 2 the rst of America. Do yall like 2 sit on ur lappy and watch TV, and talk about what is happening on the TV while ur connected 2 ppl on the internet?

Overwhelmed by the Swine Flu

Don't even feel like anything I blog about even matters. When u hear about a story so serious, it's like all of this 'alt music and culture' stuff doesn't even matter, cuz in the end, we're all humans. In case yall haven't heard, there is a strand of the flu going around called SWINE FLU.

Always thought I would get to die of natural causes. Worried about some sort of disease that my body can't 'overcome' ending my life. Hope that I don't have to wear some protective suit for the rest of my life.

Hope that Hollywood makes some movies that capitalize on our 'fear of the unknown' kinda like when they made all of those movies about a meteor hitting Earth.

Feeling pretty human, yall.
I think that within the next year, the tone of my blog will focus on encouraging the human race to start planning a way to get off the Planet Earth before we all die [via global warming]/natural disaster.

Kinda weird when something that is 'viral' actually 'goes viral.'

From what I understand, swine flu came from Mexico because their farms are dirty.
Hope I didn't get swine flu at Coachella. I think that California is close 2 Mexico.
Please use this post to share tips on how 2 avoid 'catching' the swine flu.'

Gonna go do some research. Sorry if this post is underdeveloped. Just learned how 2 use 'google news.' Freaking out.

nvr eating 'bacon' again.




The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

playlist 'after the jump'

Some of my bros started a post-post-ironic rap group

memehijack via latfh

Some of my bros decided to start a post-pre-post-meta-ironic core rap group. I think the concept behind it is that they are 'not black', 'privileged', and 'get' global issues. I think they are going to build a myspace with powerful graphic images that say controversial stuff, possibly parodying hiphop culture. I think they consider themselves 2 b 'artists' but they are also trying to 'rage against the local scene' and 'how fucking stale' it has become.

Yall. What's the deal with 'modern hiphop'? What is the state of 'hipster rap'? Will bands like 'The Cool Kids' ever 'catch on'? Would u rather watch these bros or M.I.A., or are they 'basically the same thing' except MIA has 'better samples'/a higher 'production value'?

Do yall have any 'wannabe rap tribes' in ur local scene who play at art shows?
Do u think that they are 'being ironic' about 'trying to be a band' without the emotional + personal commitment of 'being a band'?

ughh.... so disenfranchised with hiphop/the scene/rap/art/everything.

glad that 'the real slim shady' is back with a brand new gimmick to shake up the scene [via autotune]

Who is the most authentic South Park celebrity interpretation?

Yall.  Started 2 watch South Park.  Need 2 catch up on a lot of episodes.
Helps me 2 formulate my opinion on modern issues and a lot of pop cultural issues.

Not sure who I should like the most/find the funniest. Feel 'jealous' of South Park for being 'so mainstream' but also 'being cutting edge.' Not sure if I should 'respect it', 'go out of my way 2 h8 it', or 'pretend I don't watch it.'

Who is an authentic celebrity interpretation?


The Jonas Brothers?

Tay Zonday + numerous internet memes?

Jennifer Lopez? [via Mexi humor]

Barry Obama?

Tom Cruise?

Crystal Castles? [via Canadian humor]

Kanye West being a 'fggt fish.'


Do yall think that South Park is more authentic than Family Guy, or The Simpsons, or are they the kind of people who just 'make fun of shit' but 'don't make the world better'?

Sometimes I feel like South Park is 'funnie' and that I am the only bro who 'gets it' like it is supposed 2 be 'gotten.' But then I get sad because 'every1 likes South Park and I feel like less of an individual who likes progressive comedy. Wish I lived in the mid90s, back when there wasn't a high demand for 'progressive comedy' and not every1 consumed it and made it a part of their personality.

Kinda feel _______ about a show that has 'become popular' but still 'being progressive' and 'attempting 2 maintain a cutting edge tone' with the 'mass audience that they have garnered.'

Just wanna go 'adult swimming', and laugh at progressive comedy, dreaming about how 'I am random and smart...maybe 1 day I can write this stuff... Might start a pop culture blog instead with political opinions.'

Feeling sad that altbros got violent at the G20 Summit protests

Meme hijack via SeanAhern

Heard that there was some sort of economic and global rights summit for all of the world's most important leaders in the world to 'talk about important stuff', kinda like when tweens have a sleepover. Apparently, there were 'protesters' who wanted these leaders to know that 'shit was fucked', so they 'got all violent' to 'make a scene' and 'make sure that their voices were heard'. It was kinda like they were simulating 'anarchy', or other concepts from punk music. Not sure if I identify with them. Feel sort of resigned to not being in control of global policies.

Not sure why every1 wants 'things 2 get better.' Wish they'd realize that there'd be no more art if 'things were perfect' cuz most great art is inspired by 'how we wish the world was a certain way', or something like that. We just want every1 2 relate 2 our suffering and stuff.

Sad that the altBro in a Keffiyeh/neon palestinian scarf gave alternative people a bad name. Think these scarves might be dead. Not sure if I want 2 wear mine, or else riot police will break into my apartment and execute my family. Not sure why the bro is throwing a sweet ass flat screen through a window. Seems like a good screen to chill and watch DVDs on. Think this protest was in France, so not sure why he is wearing an Atlanta Braves baseball cap. Must be 'alt' to wear American caps in France.

Do yall 'believe' in anything? Or do yall just like 2 go to events with a lot of people because 'chaos might happen.' Was hoping that would happen at the Obama Inauguration, but I think every1 'pussed out.

Feel upset. Wish that instead of 'getting violent', the protestors could have done something zany, like 'a flash mob' [sponsored by T-Mobile].


flashmobs seem like the only way to 'really make people think' these days about how 'absurd' our world is...

More pix from the G20 protests via 'The Big Picture'

'we believe in something, yall. gotta update my fb status 2 tell people i'm chillin somewhere 'relevant' on a global scale.'

'gotta take some kewl pix for my flickr account. might live tweet about how 'bad ass' this 'shit' is.'

'Wish we coulda broken in2 a Mac Store.'

'feel angry about society and my parents.'

Sort of wish this was an American Apparel hoodie with the white strings so it could be 'like an advertisement.'

Man's Best Friend, yall!

'Feel sad about my iPhone breaking in a scrum. Wish I had bought the dorky case for it like my parents recommended. Didn't buy insurance for $5/month.'

What do yall believe in?

People who wait in line overnight to buy shit.

Photo via Kanye University

Sometimes it is hard for me to evaluate what I truly value, and how much I value it. Do I value 'friends'/'family'? Do I value 'life experiences' like 'studying abroad'? Do I value having new products in my possession? Do I value 'shit like Apple products'/'cell phones'/'the right to say that I was one of the first people to see an adventure action movie that is part of a trilogy'?

I saw these bros sitting outside of an urban boutique waiting to purchase the Kanye West sneakers, which I have previously reviewed. I wonder 'what is so important' about a shoe? Is there some sort of 'technology' that will make their lives' better, or do they just want the right to the experience/right to purchase the shoe for $1000, or the right to sell the shoe on eBay to the 'highest bidder'?

Wonder if I could 'bond' with the people who wait in line for new products, since we basically value the same stuff. Feels weird when 'everything feels like a toy', but there are still these adults who 'really want to buy a kewl new toy that will make people think they are kewler.'

Always kinda weird when there is a higher demand than supply, and when people 'wait overnight' for the right to buy something. Kinda like a Nintendo Wii / Jonas Brothers tickets. Sort of reminds me of 'spoiled kids' from my childhood, whose parents were 'kinda bad and lazy', just sort of letting their son/daughter 'run away with the concept of COOL.' Still angry that my parents weren't like that.

Felt sad when I had to wait in line at an AT&T store for the new iPhone. Wish I lived in NYC/ a city with an Apple store so I didn't feel like 'such a loser' and I could actually bond with 'kewl people' who were part of the same 'product tribe' as me.

So what do yall value? Have yall ever 'sacrificed' ur time 2 'wait for the right' to 'buy something fuckin awesome'? How does it feel when u have the product in ur hand, then spend several hundred dollars 2 purchase it? How does it feel the first time u use it?

Trying 2 be happy, and establish a hierarchy of wants and needs. Not sure if it means that a 'lifestyle brand' has too much control over my life if I am willing to wait outdoors for more than 3 hours for it.

Did youtube 'go too far' just 2 get a laugh? [via April Foolz!]

Was trying to go on youtube, but everything was flipped upside down. Thought my computer was fucked up. Took it into an Apple Store for a Genius(TM) to look at. It took him a while 2 figure it out, but apparently youtube is playing some sort of joke because it is April the 1st. I wasn't actually born in the USA, so I didn't know that today is a day that u play jokes on people.

Feel kinda sad that youtube went so far 'just to get a laugh' without realizing how they could alter the reality of millions of people for days and days. Kinda feel sad about seeing important video memes, historical events, and miscellaneous videos that 'mean' something to me/the world/Americans/every1 upside down. Kinda feel like they 'are trying to say something' about society [via metaphor].

sad that youtube made me feel like an idiot. made me waste gas money going to my local Apple Store. every1 there laughed at me. felt like a real loser.

Had 2 watch a bunch of different videos upside down. Gave me a new perspective, but I would appreciate any help yall could give me to fix my Macbook. Can I press 'alt'+F4 and fix everything?

Had 2 watch Justice's "DANCE" upside down

More zany vids I watched upside down after the jump

The Memefication of Your Band

I've seen a lot in my days as an mp3 blogger. I've seen the rise of buzz bands, the backlash against bands, mediocre bands become 'great', and even bands that are 'good' get close to no coverage. Sometimes I wonder 'how does the modern music industry work?'

If you were starting a band today, what would you do to make sure that you 'made it'? Do you feel like you have to 'make the best music possible' and expect a solid network of followers to automatically warm up to you? Or do you feel like there is a 'game' which must be played in order to 'make it'?

In our modern world, 99% of 'bands' could be defined as groups of people who created a myspace page and uploaded 1.5 songs. These people have no vision of the modern landscape, and do not understand what it takes to grow into a 'band worth following.' While the 'live performance' is eventually a critical element in a band's rise to prominence, there is a game which can be played on the internet to achieve success.

Your band must invade the Perception Economy. Your Band must no longer be a band. Your band must be a meme. A Meme Which Generates subMemes. These memes must be compelling, intriguing, and interesting enough for people to 'follow' or at least think that you are 'worth following.'

Your band is a meme is based upon these principles:

  • A meme is a unit of information.
  • A meme is consumed piece of information.
  • Memes are exchanged from human to human.
  • There are ways to tap into a meme economy in order to make your memes seem 'more important than they really are.'
  • Your band can be 'good' or 'bad in a good way', but it must be a followable meme.

The modern band is not just about 'music.' The modern band must successfully win over fans by finding effective methods to generate themselves into a meme-source worth following. You are more than just your music. You are an aesthetic. You are the news that bros every where need to read about. You need to picture a world where you have at least 20K twitter followers who are eager to follow your lifestream on a meme-to-meme basis.

How do bands get successful? Are they 'smart'? Is it chance/luck? Is there a general template, or steps towards success for creating a highly 'relevant' band in the modern world?

There is an opportunity for your band to do this. You must take each step slowly, remember above all that your band is a meme. Some of these steps can be interchanged, and not every step is for every genre of music. However, this is generally how things work in the alt-indie genre.

Your band is a meme, which slowly injects the meme economy with new memes that make your band seem 'more important.' While your band will always be a group of friends/bros, the perception of your band will grow as the memes which you generate continue to seem 'more important.'


While the music meme economy may seem like a daunting place to enter, if you have confidence in your band's product, and one hit single that syncs up with the current popular & respected aesthetics, your band can invade the Music Memesphere.

You must understand every force that impacts the music memesphere, and how these economies interact with one another.

click to enlarge

These are the Elements of the MUSIC MEMESPHERE:
....continue reading....

Gotta stop drinking bottled water // I feel guilty abt stuff

Yall. I'm not sure if this is a product improvement, or just some sort of marketing gimmick. I drink at least 8 bottles of water per day, 3 bottles of soda per day, 2 cans of Sparks per day, and 4 aluminum bottles of Bud Light per day. Maybe it is time I start thinking about my personal impact on 'the environment.' Might have to start drinking boxed water, boxed milk, and possibly even boxed beer. Just want to 'lower my carbon footprint.'

Sometimes I don't 'get' why ppl care about 'the environment' so much... It's like they think that we're 'going to be around 4ever' and 'we should care about ppl who live after we die.' I think we should do everything we can 2 find pleasure in our lives' while we can. We don't have much time, and if we start worrying about 1 person can't make a difference, so don't make a 'sacrifice' if not every1 else will.

N e ways... might start a company where we bottle the tap water from our local aquifer and market it to people not from our region bc it is s000 g0000d.

Photo via Tap'd NY

I don't rlly 'get' the Bottled Water Industry. It seems like every1 has 'the same product', but for different reasons, ppl tend to 'like' one type over the other. I feel confused. I feel like I am being manipulated to align my personal brand with a lifestyle brand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be one of those people who carries around the 'cheap kind' of bottled water for poor people who buy in the bulk.

but srsly... do yall know if some1 has scientifically proven that 'recycling is bullshit'? If I were mayor of a city, I would give ppl recycling bins, but just take all of that trash 2 the landfill.

ughh... h8 all of these mrktng initiatives to try to 'make me feel guilty' about how fortunate I am. Went shopping the other day at Target, and this lil black kid was chilling in my cart asking 4 handouts.

Photo via WebUrbanist via Tumbledore

I feel guilty for being so privileged and having a world of opportunities at my finger tips. h8 when ad gurus create these design/advertising/marketing memes that challenge my reality just bc they are trying to 'sell something.'

Leave me alone /
Let me 'be wasteful' /
Stop reminding me abt /
the 3rd world /
And other sad shit /
like mortality /
and global sustainability /

I want to go to a College that teaches this class. I would get a B+.

I was reading a blog, and I saw a video about a class that they teach at a progressive university. The point of the class is 2 'get famous' on the internet. It seems like a class that I would be good at. I h8 traditional classes like 'chemistry', 'psychology' and 'Latin American Studies.' I just want to be at a school that understands my existential needs, and what inspires me.

From what I understand, u r supposed to find a way to establish a personal brand and 'go viral' on the internet.


Sometimes I wonder if u even need college. Like if ur passionate enough about going viral, u can make n e thing happen. Kinda like the Choco Rain guy. He had a plan and didn't need a college education to make it happen. A lot of people want 2 'be famous' on the internet, but I they'd realize that if ur uninteresting enough to 'find meaning' in real life, then ur life/opinions/self-generated memes probably aren't interesting enough to make u a compelling figure 4 some1 2 follow on a daily basis. Not even if u r an altbro in a Basquiat shirt riding in a thong then vimeoing about it.

FEel like s0 many people try to 'find meaning' on the internet, or they think they deserve to 'get paid' [via advertising revenue] for just sharing their memes. They are s0 out of touch with reality. It's kinda weird how not even that many people want to be 'mainstream famous' any more. A more authentic version of fame comes with being 'microfamous' via the internet. Some people also want 2 b 'macro-anonymous.'

I feel like social networks, meme proliferation, and services that allow u to get feedback from a 'tribe' are bad for society/our economy. There are startup companies, bands, and web-based businesses that feel like they are 'making progress' because they sign up for social networks and get more feedback than ever. But every1 is getting feedback. It's just part of being alive on the internet. Just makes me kind of sad when a band 'thinks they are getting better and have a relevant fan base' when they have actually just been hanging around on the internet for weeks. Just think it's kinda funny/sad when entities 'stay alive' longer than they should just because they have THE INTERNET to exist as this entity.

Kinda like when some one 'makes a logo' for a cool new venture/blog/website that they are starting, then they make a myspace+twitter+fb group, and then they start being an ass hole about their venture. U wish they would just interact with u from their own profile, instead of [venture-name] It gets sad, and eventually, their web venture fails. They don't achieve their goals/fame/success/monetization. They probably put it on their resume, like ass holes, and will try to tell old people who interview them for a 'real job' that they 'had a startup company' just because they had a twitter and an ebay store.

Do yall know n e 1 like this? Do u h8 when people glorify these types of people for 'having an entrepreneurial spirit'?

Just sayin yall.... don't put all ur eggs in 1 basket. Even if u do get 'internet famous', it doesn't mean u'll get money 4 it, and it doesn't mean ur life will be meaningful. Not every1 can be Mark Zuckerberger.

But srsly... do yall think that class is 'bullshit'? I think that professor probably 'just gives every1 As' at the end of the semester, even the 'cunty, untalented girl' who 'shouldn't be at design school.' Can some1 tell that professor not to give the people in that video 'points' for the class even though I blogged about them? h8 helping ppl.
What grade do u think U would get in that class?
What obvious strategies would u use to 'build a following'?
Just want to be comfortable with who I am [in real life AND on the internet].

////I want 2 be famesies.'
Just want to 'get paid' and be 'critically acclaimed' for 'being myself' and 'living life' by 'being on the internet for 70% of my life.'

I am thinking about buying a new video game because it looks cool.

I don't 'get' people who are really into video games. Maybe I'm just different because I think real life is fun, so sometimes it is like playing a video game, or something. I view every day as a gift and an opportunity. Don't understand why u would spend hours per day in front of a screen pretending that ur some1 ur not, just to accomplish these arbitrary goals. After u 'beat' a video game, do u feel more 'accomplished'? Do u call ur family and tell them that u 'won'? If ur just going 2 go back 2 ur computer 2 beat off, then u should probably just 'beat off' then start ur day/get a real job+real life commitments & relations that keep u from wasting hours in front of a 'sweet ass TV screen.'

But recently I saw this game that I think I might actually buy


It has really bad ass graphics, and it looks so lifelike. The engineers who developed this are amazing, because there are so many factors that make the game basically feel like 'real life.' Every thing is so raw, and real. I just appreciate realism in video games. Just a lot of action, humanity, and challenges that are similar to the challenges in real life, except they present an opportunity to have multiple chances at a 'life or death' situation.

I wish I could be a 'gamer' and really unite with a network of people who I know in real life and not in 'real' life. I wish I could engage in teambuilding experiences. I wish I could share the beauty of gaming with people who are addicted to getting NEW information instantaneously on the internet. If only they could see that there is a value in escaping from 'the real world.' Who needs to know everything right away? Who needs to be so connected? I want to be a gamer. I want to take breaks from 'internet reality' and accomplish goals and missions in an environment that was created by AZN engineers who work in a free spirited workplace.

I do not need human contact, nor do I need relationships.

I can be the person who I want 2 b.

I am comfortable with who I am.

Do yall play 'video games'/'computer games'?
Are there any ones that are authentic?
Are video games 'for losers'?
Do u 'get' people who engage in 'rpgs'?
Should I download 'games' on to my iPhone?
Do people with portable video game devices over the age of 12 need to 'grow the fuck up'?
Do kids who play their lil vidgame thingies in public need to get better parents?
Is the Wii a 'gimmick'?

Have u ever lost multiple years of ur life playing Oregon Trail / Ski Free / Minesweeper / Street Fighter II / Zelda / Shaq Fu ?

The Adobe Creative Suite May or May Not be Bad for Society

Image via Mouthpiece Sports

Sometimes I see images that are constructed for mainstreamers that they are probably supposed to think 'looks cool', but since I am so design-aware, I can't help but think it looks tacky and uninspired. So while a person over the age of 35 will think 'whoa--how did they get all of those players on that magazine cover? Totes looks like they are going after 1 ball...' I think it is stupid because they just created a bunch of layers in Adobe Photoshop. Not very impressive, yall. coulda made that cover as the project for my first class at college--Photoshop 101: for design majors and non majors.

I kinda h8 how my design school education makes me enjoy stuff that is 'supposed to look cool' a lot less. Every time I see a flyer, an advertisement, a webpage, or a commercial, I know exactly how it is made since I am skilled at every Adobe Design Suite Program. So while images might 'look interesting', the process behind them seems so EZ 2 replicate that I am just way above it. Sometimes I feel like I need 2 'ditch technology' and only design authentic things by manually cutting and pasting things together, but I am 0% skilled and kraftwerk.

It's like u see a video of a kid AZN who can make all of these 'amazing effects' and then u realize that this standardized technology has gimmicked us 2 think that we are able to better express ourselves' because the bottleneck of creativity has widened just cuz we have more tools, but still kinda just express the same shittie concept/topics + implement lamer aesthetics.


h8 creative azns. Isn't it kinda funnie how teachers in high school are probably making poorly informed decisions to encourage kids who can 'make laser fight videos' to pursue a career in the arts/film, when there is actually a supersaturated market of 'tweens who have an inaccurate self-concept in which they tell themselves that they are unique and creative because their parents bought them a high-end computer'?
(h8 tweens who brand themselves as 'creative' so that they don't have to take Calculus/physics/math/science/etc)

Is Adobe + Apple bad for kids? Should ppl only be allowed to 'make art' after they are done with college because their ideas 'probably suck' b4 then, and u should save them the humiliation of displaying their naivety in a piece of work that will last 4ever?

<3/h8 Adobe Creative Suite

Adobe gives creativity 'a new life.'
Without the Adobe Creative Suite, I would not be able to make art/design/memes.
Without the internet, I wouldn't get the feedback from my 'art' which would give me the positive reinforcement that is necessary to 'keep going.'

Dear Lord,
Thank u 4 Adobe. I will use u. But when I create 'art', I will make sure to not make it so obvious that I utilized ur functionality, and try 2 have my 'art' exist in its own space to be evaluated. I value ur product, but I don't want ppl to evaluate my technical skills in the final product.
Parsons / Pratt Class of 2011

This Bro in a lil Box Is Me--This Is A Representation of Me [via the Internet] I am the bro in my avatar

Image via Design Notes by Michael Surtees

It's rlly hard to decide who u want 2 b on the internet. Like u have this lil box on your profile, and u have to choose an image which 'represents u.' U have like 300x300 pixels to show the world what ur all about. Seems like a lot of pressure.

Some people post a picture of themselves where they look deep/hot/kute. Some people use a picture where they are visiting somewhere interesting. Some people 'outsource' their image to be something funnie.' Or some people have a 'cartoon representation' of themselves'.

Do yall have any sort of selection criteria when ur building ur personal brand on the internet?
I know a lot of people who are 'lonely' so they usually post pictures where they are hanging out with their friends. I know some bros post pix of themselves 'at a sports game' because they think that is meaningful/makes them seem really bro-like. Other bros like to post pix of themselves' at a place that 'seems important because they are wearing a collared shirt/blazer.'

So much 2 think abt, yall.

Sometimes I wish I could be an AZN, so that I would already 'kinda look like a cartoon' and just pick some sort of AZN doodle.

I just googled 'userpic' and now I will post a bunch of results.
Just trying to analyze some photos and what they mean when people select it as their 'user pic.'

Alone Bro in his room with big headphones and dark music

I got a new item of clothing and I want u 2 see it

I went to a sporting event. I will replace this pic with a pic of me&my GF when I get a GF

Me and my boyfriend (we have mediocre sex but we act like porn stars and talk rlly dirty and do dirty shit)

I am a tween who wants 2 b fngrbngd


The Crystal Castle Mobile

Yall, I just saw this amazing new transport vehicle. Was thinking about trading in my lime green VW bug for it, but then I realized that it is a car created by the popular web band CRYSTAL CASTLES. I remember when I posted a picture of Trapped in SuburbiaBro wearing a CRYSTAL CASTLES FAN CLUB branded shirt. Kinda like their logo. glad they are 'branching out' to be more than just musicians.

I think seems more progressive than a Smart Car, and probably saves more energy. Not sure if it has solar panels on it, or if it comes with USB ports, but still might be nice to have as a 'weekend car.'

I read on a Wall Street Blog Journal that the Auto Industry is 'in the shitter' because they don't have enough solar cars and because fossil fuels aren't being turned into car gas any more because the Arabs 'got greedy' after the religiously charged attacks on America in the early 2000s. Think it's kinda risky that the Crystal Castles, LLC is headed into the auto industry, but maybe they are going to try to get a bailout if they prove that they can revolutionize the industry?

Will u buy 1 of their transport, all-terrain vehicles? Or would u rather buy a different 1?

Interested to see if 'hybrid cars' actually work out, or if we will all just end up walking and/or riding fixed gear bikes.

Whenever I see a smart car
I think about being an ass hole who drives one
and then getting in a routine car accident
where I accidentally die
because I drive 'a lil cartoon fggt car'
just because I wanted 2 'save the environment'
and had the expendable income to 'prove that I care'

Miss u newspapers

[Image via lookbook]
I saw this picture of a tween posing in front of newspapers, and it kind of reminded me of how obsolete physical copies of newspapers are. Newspapers were created to be recycled. I'm not an environmentalist, but it seems like a big waste of time+paper+people standing at corners selling newspapers and making u feel sad inside that they are only making like $20-50 per day. Sort of wish all newspapers would 'go online' and stop their paper-based operations.

Unfortunately, I don't think that will happen until the 'old folks' die. We are 'the young folks' [via Peter Bjorn and John]. Don't rlly care about 'saving our earth' but just have always thought newspapers were kinda awkward. Like they are big, and u have 2 fold them, and there are no hyperlinks on the page to read about related stories or issues. Also kinda sux cuz newspapers don't come with an 'archives' section. Just kinda want a meaningful experience that can also play videos+audio sometimes.

I went through a phase where I only used the internet to myspace+facebook+steal music. I kinda didn't use it as a tool 2 'stay in touch with the world. Then I kinda grew up and realized that 'the world'+'current events'+'opinions on those current events' are more important than a minifeed of my friends, acquaintances, and bros who sat beside u in Organic Chemistry. Just want to stay relevant and on top of things. Don't want to feel 'left behind' when I talk 2 important ppl.

Do yall know what I mean?
can yall relate 2 this?
Should HRO publish itself to a zany newspaper?
Do yall wish public libraries would be consolidated in2 a series of computers + a laptop kiosk in a public space?
Do yall know if 'the rain forest' is running out of trees?

Do yall ever use the New York Times skimmer 2 pretend that ur 'reading the newspaper' on ur computer?

Is it authentic to read the NYTimes everyday and send ur friends+family 'relevant articles' to connect with them and let them know that ur an interesting person?
Is visiting for mainstreamers?
Should I just follow a bunch of relevant newsmakers on twitter, and follow links to news stories?
Just want to create an accurate version of 'the world' according 2 my internet experience.
Might decide 2 only subscribe 2 tastemaking and coolhunting blogs, and not worrie so much about the world. Might also read some 'technology blogs' so I can stay on top of relevant products that I am supposed 2 want. And I think I'll also subscribe 2 a few 'guilty pleasure' celeb gossip blogs. t00tally h8 myself 4 following that--but s0 fun.

This is actually a picture of my desktop. I like 2 have all of my lil widgets on my toolbar to stay connected to various social media tools.

Do yall like 2 digg/stumbleupon/delicious? Is 'stuff going viral' authentic when it happens on those sites, or is it kinda like Newspaper moguls when they 'controlled everything'?
Do u believe that u can create ur own internet, and within that context, cultivate meaning + an appreciation of 'the world' according 2 u?
Should every site on the internet be a .gov?
Should I only use my computer to google questions about life?
Is google the 'anti-christ'/God?

My life takes place
on the internet
And then sometimes
real life happens
but I come back to the internet
to reflect on it
and record it
and 2 make it

kinda weird how we're all the same
cuz we all use the same tools 2 express ourselves'

When I die, will my social network accounts be deactivated?
do I need 2 leave my password 2 my email account in my will?
Or is that how hackers get in2 ur account?

Turning 21, yall!

[Photo via lookbook]
I finally did it! I turned 21! I can finally 'find out what alcohol tastes like!' Excited. 2nite I'm getting 2gether with a group of my closest friends, and a few other people who have really boring lives' and only go out when some1 they know has a birthday. Hope I get some good gifts/meaningful giftcards.

Do yall have any friends who 'make it a big deal' when it is a birthday? Do u h8 it? Do u get people gifts, or do u think that ur true bros don't expect gifts from you? Don't know how 2 feel about birthdays. I really like the attention, and that my parents gift me money/cars/macbooks, but still... there's just something a little bit mainstream about 'celebrating a birthday.' Do u just want to 'go downtown' and 'overpay for drinks' at a place that u have to 'wear something nice' to, instead of the usual underage-friendly bar that u 'chill at'?

Not to get all philosophical, but 'time' as we know it is kinda a human construct. Things like 'days', 'weeks', 'months' and 'years' are just labels. If we were all cavemen, we would only really know night+day AND hot+cold AND various weather changes. We would have no way to track the exact day we were born. That's probs why the cavemen died when the dinosaurs got hit be a meteor/cholera.

Whenever u go out for some ass hole's birthday, don't u feel kind of like u are trapped in a photo opportunity like this:

It just kinda sux. I want my birthday to be meaningful. Like more than just dinner+drinks+friends who can't distinguish how special UR night is from every other night. Same stuff happens, except there is cake, or 21 shots, or pizza, or something like that. Maybe I should 'plan a trip' for my birthday. Or maybe I should drive to the tip of South America on a motorcycle. Just want something more.

Do yall think birthdays are like the SUPER BOWL of Girls Nights Out?

When's ur birthday? I'll send u an eCard? [via 1997]

Miss U

Dear President George W. Bush,
First and foremost, I just wanted to say 'miss u.' I really took u for granted. I remember when u were in office, I liked to pretend that I was 'outraged' about 'the way our nation was going.' I was 'pissed off about the war' (even though I would never have to go), and I thought that u were 'too strong armed and oppressive.' However, I realized that you were a lot like me. You were a chill bro. You were a dreamer.

In the future, I will learn from my mistakes. I will not be influenced by the mainstream liberal media who just want some Commy Red in office. I will value u. U ruled our nation during my most critical formative years. U r as significant as the time that my parents' marriage fell apart in early 2001. U r part of the 'perfect storm' that made ME.

We have a lot in common. We both like to do blow. We are both set in our ways. And we both found out about 9-11 while we were in a public school.

I'll never forget after 9-11. I was so afraid of the world. I felt fragile and vulnerable. I felt scared. And then u walked into Yankee Stadium and threw a strike while wearing a Bullet Proof vest. I thought I could do anything. I almost even joined the armed forces, but then realized I was upper middle class and didn't have to resort to such a drastic lower-class solution like that.


We're just a lot alike. U were kinda spoiled and entitled to a lot, and I'm kinda like u except on a smaller scale. I liked u. I feel like I wasted our glory years. U did what I would have done during ur lame duck term: chilled hard. It's also important 2 realize that most reasonable people h8 Al Gore. Glad u won. Not sure if I will ever vote again, unless a true bro emerges.

These next 4-8 years are gonna be sooo annoying. I might even not be able to watch my two favourite shows 'with my peen out' any more--The Colbert Report and the Daily Show. (I still think that Craig Kilborn was the best Daily Show host). Without u, they don't have a world to pretend is 'bad.' Just glad I realize that things were never really too bad with u. Kinda weird how when ur a citizen, u feel 'small' and can't ever really tell when things 'change.'

I'm just trying to say that before 2k8, I wasn't very progressive, and I thought 'being into politics' made me an individual. Then I realized that it's kind of a gimmick for 'people who want 2 seem interesting+concerned with global issues.' Now I feel kinda bad that I constructed my personal brand based on h8ing u 'with a passion.' I now realize that I was just an entry leveler looking for a gimmick--however, I realize now that I was only searching for my perfect vision of our world. I now realize that my utopian society will not be achieved through 'politics'--instead it will be achieved through the arts/self-expression/the internet/conceptual stuff.

miss u
wish we had 8 more years.
h8 when people call my blog 'sarcastic' or that I am trying to be 'satire' but this is what's actually what I'm feeling deep down inside of me. Just trying 2 b 'raw', yall.

President Bush
a true bro
We Miss U
Way more chill than your dad
and more vulnerable than Obama
if u were going 2 do a mountain of blow
with any President,
who would it be?

[photos via nytimes blog]
All I ever wanted was an authentic bro to run this nation.

<3 Carles


YALL, I HAVE BEEN WONDERING is a new HRO gimmick where Carles presents a question that he has been thinking about a lot. Based on cultural observations and personal experiences, Carles will ask tough questions that directly relate to our society.

are black people a lil bit too cocky now?
Have they 'changed' ever since Barry Obama was elected?
Do yall know any African Americans personally?
How have they changed since the Inauguration?
Do yall think that they will cultivate 'pride' and market it in a new genre of positive hip hop?
Can we 'close the door' on saying that our nation is still feeling the aftermath of slavery?
Are all men created [via equal]?
If u are an African American child growing up in 'the projects', do u have a better chance of becoming a President, a rap mogul, or a drug dealer?
Will popular rappers 'piggyback' off the image of HOPE [via the Obama campaign], and add some 'swagger' to it, and market it to mature audiences who have grown out of 'cop killa' rap?
Is Barrack Obama 'authentic' black?
Are issues of 'race' over 4ever?
Is Larry Bird the best NBA player of all time?


Do they really have 2 use the N-word, yall?

...History, Black History
No President Ever Did Shit For Me
Had To Hit The Streets Try To Flip Some Keys
So A Nigga Won't Go Broke
Then They Put Us In Jail Now A Nigga Can't Go Vote
So I Spend Dough All These Hoes Is Trippin
She Aint A Politician Honey's A Pole-a-tician
My President Is Black Rolls Golden Charms
22 Inch Rims Like Hulk Hogans Arms
When Thousands Of People Is Riled Up To See You
That Can Arouse Ya Ego You Got Mouths To Feed So
Gotta Stay True To Who You Are And Where You Came From
Cuz At The Top Will Be The Same Place You Hang From
No Matter How Big You Can Ever Be
For Whatever Fee Or Publicity Never Lose Your Integrity
For Years Theres Been Surprise Horses In This Stable
Just Two Albums In I'm The Realest Nigga On This Label
Mr Black President Yeah Obama Fa Real
They Gotta Put Ya Face On The $5000 Dollar Bill ...
- Nas (from "My President Is Black")

Great Moments in African American Meme History


Are 'black people' cared about again now that Gerard Bush is out of office, yall?

Is HRO a Cyber Bully?

I recently saw a life changing public service announcement. It made me question 'who I am as a blog.'


I just realized that my blog might be a 'cyber bully', yall! Not sure if I should stop blogging, or maybe just focus on blogging about crappy mp3s + mediocre altNews bits. Sometimes I see people on the internet, and I think 'omg... they are s00 zany. I need 2 blog about them so that we can understand the modern state of altCulture.' However, maybe I am 'being a lil bit 2 harsh'... Maybe I am a cyber bully

I did a mini-research paper for my community college psychology & teacher certification course, and came up with this power point slide. Do yall 'get' what it means to be a bully in cyber space? Do yall realize how it's apparently 'cowardly' 2 be a cyber bully? Do yall realize that cyberbullying is responsible for 60% of tween tragedies [via school shootings and suicides]?

People on the internet are REAL, and whether or not their personal brands are authentic or not is none of my business. The internet shouldn't be a place where 'u come under fire 4 being urself'--it should be a safe haven, where any 1 can post a picture without having 2 fear 'being made fun of.' Just because ur 'hiding' 'behind a screen' doesn't make it any different than 'real life.' Why would u say something mean abt some1 on the net that u wouldn't say 2 their face? Internet feelings are the same as 'real life' feelings, yall. Do u agree? Am I making sense?

Wonder how I will raise my kids. Might not let them have the internet until they go away 2 college. Will probably print out the entire wikipedia for them instead of buying a set of Encyclopedias. Will let them have graphing calculators 2 play games on. Just don't want their lives' 2 fall apart b4 they even start. If I walked in on my 12 year old son/daughter vlogging, I would punish them swiftly (physically and emotionally). There is no reason 2 let ur kid have a computer before the age of 16--just sayin... be careful yall. There's more 2 raising a kid than 'feeding it' and 'changing diapers.'

N e ways... should I ban cyber bullying on HRO?
Is HRO an altCyberBully?
Am I a cyber bully if I talk about people without internet, like 'poor'/'3rd world' people?
Is Pitchfork a 'cyber bully' of musicians?
Are 'gossip blogs' a 'cyber bully' to celebs?
Is 'the newspaper' a 'paper bully' to events?
Am I a cyber bully 2 myspacers worth blogging about?
Are rich tweens cyber bullies 2 poor/coloured/fat tweens?
Is a cyberbully 2 ugly ppl?

Just trying 2 'get my head around' cyberbullying. What does it mean 2 u?

I just want
people to like me
in real life
& on the internet

If ur ever feeling 'alone' or 'bullied' on the internet, come to HRO as a safe haven, yall. We 'accept' every1. Kinda like an interracial church.

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