Media Analysis | Hipster Runoff

Media Analysis

The Negrofication of Pitchfork and the Death of White Man's Indie

Before I was born
into an authentic alt indie music maker
I heard an old legend / old wives tale
abt some 'cool dad' band called Wilco made an album
that received a 10.0 from Pitchfork

I was still incubating in an alternative womb
and wasn't able to appreciate 'the genius of Jeff Tweedy'
I still don't even know what Wilco sounds like (but I would probably find them 2 be boring)
so I didn't really have any sort of 'foundation' for what 'indie greatness' was

This means my modern life
Has been all about 'searching for that 10.0 buzzband'
Selecting 'unknown' bands before they even have an entire album to sample
Watch them grow
Watch them create new genres/memes/mp3s/mediocre music videos
Watch their debut album get a 8.0 - 8.7
Wait for their second album 2 disappoint/exceed expectations

I wanted 2 be there the whole way
Until a buzzband got a 10.0
Sort of like how u 'root for a sports team 2 win a championship'
It doesn't mean as much when u tune in to the final game
to celebrate as a 'bandwagon fan'
U want to be there opening day of the regular season
I wanted to be there the whole way
Watching a buzzband earn their alt-cred

Tons of bands picked 'the easy way out'
and just 'went mainstream'
instead of 'catering to authentic indie audiences'
Trying to get that 10.0

I guess it makes more sense from a 'financial perspective'
Because u have 2 make money in order 2 buy groceries

Just wish I was born 5 to 10 to 20 years earlier
and started a music website when the internet was 'first learning how 2 blog'
I feel like I have a unique perspective
that can be turned into an editorial site
offering news, reviews, and unique writings
on relevant musical themes

I feel like I could have had the chance to be 'Pepsi'
where p4k = Coca Cola
It seems like all blogs are just a bunch of
Mountain Dews

In a world where bloggers change their last name to the name of their blog
I wish I could be 'Carles Pitchfork'
and be 1 of the most relevant ppl of all time [link]

Back in the late 2k0s
mainstream media outlets wrote a bunch of articles about how
'a great Pitchfork rating can make or break ur career'
(not sure if that is still true or if Pitchfork ratings are just another internet meme/talking point 4 people who read 2 many blogs)

Felt like they had 'won' the indiesphere
Got 'tons of hits' + mainstream coverage abt how 'indie websites are relevant'
The rest of the internet online indie scene was/is an 'afterthought'
They banded 2gether as a unit 2 battle for relevancy

Tons of lil MP3 blogs began 2 pop up
(way 2 many, probably)
Hype Machine made them a lil more powerful as a unit
But then Hype Machine made them all seem kinda long-tail-y
Then a bunch of crappy lil alt snark blogs emerged that don't really offer that much value

And now we are in a stagnant phase of mp3 blog innovation
the niche exists
People know what they are getting
But maybe it is all 'stale' and 'boring'
now that the buzz + buzzband manufacturing process is so established

Who will offer a disruptive indie-blog experience
and 'take online music journalism'
and buzzing
2 the next level?

November 22, 2010
Kanye West's "My Dark Twisted Fantasy" receives a 10.0 from Pitchfork [link]
Review by some bro named "Ryan Dombal"

I googled the name Ryan Dombal
Because it seems like this is 'the defining moment of his journalistic bloggy life'
Even though I don't know anything abt him
And possibly will never know anything more abt him

It seems like he tweeted abt the reaction 2 his article
Wonder what it feels like
2 monitor twitter
knowing something that u wrote
'resonated' with hundreds/thousands/millions of ppl

Wonder what resonated more
the 'writing'
or 'the number'

"Life is all about numbers."
-probably some smart person / business person / mathematician

I never thought I'd live 2 see this day
a 10.0 on a new album
via the Pitchforks
(until Merriweather Post Pavillion is re-issued in 5-20 years)

But I feel 'a little bit effed'
Like there is 'no where to go' now that I have experienced perfection
It would be kinda like of God descended from Heaven
and was like 'Sup it's me--God.'
Then every1 would be like 'well, I guess we know who God is now.'
and there would be no more problems + drama
no more unanswered questions
no reason to keep searching 4 truth
Because God bro was like 'sup, I'm truth'

Perhaps this will lead to a 'reactionary sect'
creating 'even more backlash' [via hits] for the Pitchforks
But also
It might get 'rlly boring'
And no1 will even care any more

Maybe 'white man's indie' has been killed
and mainstream African American hip hop for white people will 'crowd out'
altbro internet market share
We live in a time where humans use tastemaking websites
2 construct their identity
Maybe alternative ppl will 'disconnect' from the internet
now that 'online perfection' has been experienced

We already know that in the 2k10s
only rappers can be 'brilliant' / produce perfection
so groups of 1-4 white dudes
can't make relevant albums any more

As a white skinned bro
Who used to think indie music made me 'unique'
I'm not sure why I am alive any more
I no longer believe that 1 day I will create the_perfect_buzzband

I sorta want to pull a 'reverse Michael Jackson'
and become black
not to play in the NBA/NFL,
but instead to write a relevant album

Somewhat confused about the decision to co-brand with Kanye West
Attaching ur credibility 2 Kanye West
unless u think he is gonna 'tragically die'
and then people will overrate him
and they can say 'we were on board b4 he died'

I thought that Kanye West = mainstream
And he didn't really make albums, he just gave outlandish interviews
and generating troll-wave memes
Waiting for a dude to implode/die/commit public sucide/overdose
I guess maybe he is 'more like Radiohead'
where every1 has to say they are 'amazing' whenever they release something

I thought Pitchfork was a place for white skinned people 2 chill
But I guess now they will probs start blogging about video hotties, sneakers, and the NBA
I respect them for going after 'the negro mainstream'
Kanye West represents an amazing land bridge
2 those 'random black avatars on twitter'
who are tweeting about mainstream stuff + trending topics

It takes a socially transcendent moment to remind us what makes life worth living [link]
But sometimes
It might make us think that life is worth giving up on
[via having 'no identity'/no reason to 'go on']

Really don't care abt Kanye West
This is 'just another meme'
in the Top 20 memes of his career
I still rank 'banging Amber Rose' ahead of getting a 10.0 from Pitchfork

"I'd rather pound an ass like that than a 10.0 from Pitchfork' -a bro

Today is not abt Kanye West
Today is about
An important day, a celebration of greatness

'making a bold decision'
'shaking up 2k10'
'shaking up the decade'
'shaking up indie'

Taking time 2 celebrate's blogzine career
Behind every blog/website is a spirit
and they were waiting for a 10.0
even longer/harder than u were

Back in the day
It used to take a 'revolutionary piece of journalism'
an interview where 'some1 famous said something controversial'
or a 'behind the scenes look at a public figure who is relatively secretive'
to make a splash

But today
It only took one number to transcend the modern state of music journalism
four characters 1 0 . 0
1 meme

(sorta wonder if they should get the rights to a 10.0 sponsored by a brand)

10.0 brought 2 u by Old Spice / Heineken / Bud Light Amber Wheat

My life is totally different
My life is totally the same
My online existence where I search for relevant bands, albums and mp3s is no longer a journey
I have reached my destination

Maybe Pitchfork
Should give themselves a 10.0
For winning the battle 4 hits]
The battle for relevant memes
The battle for editorial weight in a world where bloggyspots just post reactionary crap and forgettable mp3s on the reg
Transcending the long tail
and the bottlenecks of content generation
and 'making the leap'
to 'mainstream'
riding the human meme
that is Kanye West

Do u think this 10.0 will 'revitalize' Pitchfork's brand?
Does a 10.0 mean anything to people who already listen to Kanye West?
Is the new Kanye West album 'bold' and 'amazing'?
Do u wish u could be a journalist/blogger/online web presence?
What is the future of online music blogs?
Do u think Pitchfork will take away Wilco's 10.0 because they are white?

When an authentic black artist writes an authentic album, does it 'transcend race' or should it only resonate with 'fellow black ppl'?
R u proud of Pitchfork for 'doing something bold'?
Do u think P4k will ever give a modern buzzband a 10.0 now?
Can a 'crappy new white buzzband' get a 10.0, or does this introduce a theory where u first have to 'go mainstream', then make something that 'is bold/innovative' that makes u more relevant/10.0worthy?
Is Pitchfork 'done' with the Animal Collective brand?
Will ppl begin to associate P4k with Kanye West instead of AnCo?
Does this mean 'less Animal Collective = the face of indie' jokes will ultimately hurt the band?
What's next for mp3 blogs? Will they find a new 'indie darling'?
Is indie music dead?
Do u buy into any of the 'conspiracy theories' abt this 10.0? [link]
Does any1 even 'give a shit' abt p4k ratings any more?
Has pitchfork 'rebranded' and 'opened up a new era' in online journalism + the evolution of their reviews?
Is this the greatest moment in Pitchfork Reviews history?
If Pitchfork could rate ur life, what do u think they would give u?

Chill energy drink drinking bro finds mouse in his can of Monster Energy drink


I just saw this local news story about a chill bro who just wanted to get some energy [via a sugary drink loaded with caffeine and branded for young, xtreme bros], but he got more than he bargained for. He ended up finding a dead mouse in his can of Monster Energy Drink. Naturally he is 'suing the fuck out of monster', because finding a mouse in a beverage can is sort of the equivalent of 'buying a winning lotto ticket.'

Do u feel bad for this traumatized bro who just wanted some N.R.G.?

"But that wasn't the only monster... He found inside..." -local news prize winning journalism scare pieces

"Anytime anyone talks about monster, I just get that sick feeling in my stomach," says Vitaliy Sulzhik.
It happened March 20, 2010. Sulzhik remembers it like it was yesterday. He went into the Fred Meyer in Des Moines, and bought himself a Monster Energy Drink. When he finished drinking it, he didn't realize another monster would be at the bottom.
"I put it down and I felt it was still heavy. So I backwashed it and all this debris went into my mouth," says the 19 year old. "Then I looked in the can and I saw the tip of the tail and I vomited everywhere."

Would u vomit if u found a mouse in ur can of soda/beer/etc?
Seems like it is a chill mouse, who just wanted some energy, too. Maybe we're all similar, and the human experience is the same as the animal experience.

Do u think this local news piece 'scared' old people about the dangers of energy drinks?
R u afraid to drink sodas out of cans now?
Do u think Monster sales are going to drop dramatically due to this story 'going viral', sorta like that time that 1 dude died from eating Jack N the Box?

X-rays and autopsies showed the mouse didn't suffer any trauma, like from a mouse trap, nor was it killed using poison. In other words, there were no signs the mouse was killed and then forced through the opening.
"You hear these wild stories out there. Sure, you're a little skeptical at first," says Reed Yurchak, Sulzhik's attorney. "But everything here has checked out."

Do u feel bad for this 'chill bro'? Is he traumatized both physically and mentally?
Or does he just want 'mad lawsuit dollars'?

Whenever u drink a can of soda, are you taking a risk that some creature will be hidden inside [via prizes]?
Did Monster ruin this bro's vibes?
Do yall know how to stuff a chinchilla in a can of Four Loko?
Are energy drinks for 'lamestreamers'?
Do u drink 5 Hour Energy because rats can't fit into those bottles?
Does this bro seem 'chill' or is he just trying to 'get rich quick' in our depressed economy?

The guy who uploads indie mp3s into Shazam gets an NYTimes Profile piece

shazam indie bands
Shazam is a popular 'app' that you have on ur phone, and when u hear a song playing and u wanna know what it is, u turn on Shazam, then u let it listen to the song, then it tells u which song it is. It works 'like magic.' One minute, u don't know who a buzzband is, then SHAZAM!... u know exactly who it is...

But have u ever wondered how they are able 2 catalog so many rare indie buzz mp3s? Sure it is easy to find mainstream and classic songs... but how do they stay on top of the rapidly evolving indie buzzosphere?
What if I told u that there was one man 'behind it all' who uploads rare indie buzz mp3s into the Shazam system?

Sure, Shazam, the popular music-spotting cellphone application, can identify that Rihanna track. But what about the new song from the Sandwitches, a Bay Area folk-rock band?

Before the Shazam service can find a song, Mr. Slomovitz or another sourcer must locate and input the recording. That is where Charles Slomovitz comes in.

Mr. Slomovitz was roaming the aisles of a record store here recently when he spotted a flame-haired clerk. It was Grace Cooper, one-third of the Sandwitches, which had just put out a single that was getting attention on music blogs.

“She’s got that sound that’s getting to be big,” he said as she handed him a copy of the song, “so I’ve got to have it.”

S00 jealous of Charles Slomovitz.... Wish I had his job... #alt_dream_jobs

So ur telling me there is a job out there where I can basically scan the Hype Machine and MP3 blogs and then upload them into Shazam, and I will be a 'relevant part of the music tech industry'? Feel like my parents would be proud of me if I worked for a 'startup' that was 'shooting for an IPO in _ years.'

The article really tries to take the angle like 'The music industry has totally changed yall [via technology]'

Mr. Slomovitz, a music industry veteran, spends his days tracking down hot new artists — but not for a big record label. Instead, he works for Shazam, maker of the application of the same name that can figure out what song is playing in a bar, a clothing boutique or a TV commercial.

“It’s like a scavenger hunt in real time,” said Mr. Slomovitz, 42. “It never stops.”

Mr. Slomovitz’s job is one of the more unusual in the new digital music era, as he and the dozen or so other “music sourcers” at Shazam try to ensure that any songs the app’s users might want to identify are ready and waiting in the company’s database.

Do yall listen 2 'internet mix tapes' and 'college radio'?

At Shazam, the music sourcers’ challenge goes beyond just getting a copy of the latest single from Kanye West. Shazam also wants the latest club tracks, Internet mix tapes and whatever is playing on college radio, anything that might inspire curious listeners to pull out their phones and fire up the app.

It seems like this job is rlly hard. Do yall think u have what it takes?

The hunt keeps Mr. Slomovitz on his toes. Every morning, he skims dozens of music blogs, checking for new releases he might have missed, as well as the iTunes, and Billboard charts, and blog aggregators like the Hype Machine.

Most weeks he also goes to local record stores to see if there is something in stock he has not heard of, or if older albums are being remastered or reissued. And he listens to local radio stations, especially near universities.

Really feel like this job fits in perfectly with my current lifestyle... Really angry at this Bromovitz bro.

Do u listen to mp3s + bootlegs that are way too alt 2 be Shazam-able?

Shazam executives say their mission is to catalog every song in the world. But it would be impossible to feed the machine with each and every song released by a tiny label or a bedroom studio.

Instead, Mr. Slomovitz has to try to think like a music tastemaker, guessing which songs might get attention and potentially stump Shazam’s servers.

“They’re our A.& R. to find anything that might be played,” said David Jones, a vice president at Shazam.

Is Shazam the ultimate entry level music discovery tool?
Has Shazam always found the bands ur looking for, or does it consistently let u down because ur too underground?
Do ur friends call u "Shazam" because you are able to identify every mp3 in the world?
R u more alt than Charles Slomovitz?
Do u think this bro is 'hella legit' or does he only listen to overground crap?
Does he deserve a New York Times profile piece, or should they save those 4 world leaders?
What do yall use 2 discover music?
What do u have to major in to work for Shazam? Do u think they drug test or can u blaze hard while u discover indie mp3s?

Some 'effing hipster' robs a bank

Just read some 'press release' abt how some guy robbed a bank. Then there was some sort of 'security footage' of him, and he 'looked like an effing hipster' because he was wearing a messenger bag (to carry money), emo glasses (to evaluate his surroundings), and an 'ironic' cream colored sweater. His age range was 'effing twenty something.' He is also a 'very vegan' 150-170 lbs.

Really unsure as 2 whether or not this guy was a 'real hipster' or if he is just a mainstreamer pretending 2 be alt in order to 'throw off the cops' from finding him. Feel like every day tons of mainstreamers pretend 2 be alt for tons of miscellaneous reasons.

ASHEVILLE - Police were called at about 11:07 a.m. today regarding a bank robbery that occurred at 10 Woodfin St.

A white male with short brown hair who was wearing glasses came in and slid a note to a teller.

He did not display a weapon and did not speak. No one was injured.

The man was wearing jeans and a cream colored sweater and appeared to be 25-30 years old. He was described as being about 5'7", 150-170 lbs., and had stubble on his face. He was carrying a bag from Abercrombie & Fitch.

The suspect ran out of the building to the right, toward Woodfin Street.

Anyone with information is asked to contact police at (828) 252-1110 or Crime Stoppers at 255-5050.

Kinda bummed 2 find out that his bag was 'Crombie.'

What do u think he used the money 2 buy?
'PBR'? 'Four Loko'?
'Did he ride off on a fixed gear bike?'
'Was he listening to Vampire Weekens, MANAGMANT, or PASHY PIT as he rode off on his vespa?'
'did he livestream the robbery to his twitter account?'
'do u think he wasted all of the money from his effing trustfund?'
'Did he use the money to start a Brooklyn based buzzband chillwave project?'
'do u think he was robbing from a bank that gave out buzz bucks?'
Have twenty-somethings 'hit rock bottom'?
Is this guy an 'effing hipster' or is this just 'worthless blog fodder'?

Did yall see this guy earlier today working at ur local Panera Bread?
do u h8 it when mainstreamers dress up as alts when they attend concerts/music festivals/the mall/the first day of school?

NYTimes writes article abt how chain franchises are 'invading' Brooklyn

Apparently Brooklyn is a 'super alt' place where 'tons of effing hipsters live' and every1 likes to be authentic, support local vendors and buy organic, but now that a bunch of poor/middle class ppl live there, they basically needs cheapness + convenience + decent quality so now Brooklyn is getting a bunch of chain restaurants/stores/everything.

Do u have chain stores in ur area?
Do u prefer the cost, convenience, and experience of a standardized franchised experience?
Do u support 'mom and pop' stores, or are they failures because they didn't have a business model to 'go national'?
Should Brooklyn get a Walmart?

For many residents it signaled that dreaded chain stores — symbols of all things corporate and uninspired — were about to breach the industrial neighborhood turned bastion of the young, do-it-yourself and arty. Bedford Avenue, which runs parallel to the waterfront for the entire length of Williamsburg, is a lively mix of the kind of retailers that have all but disappeared in Manhattan: independent coffee shops, record stores, drugstores, boutiques, jewelry stores, bookshops and even a local bank, Cross County Federal Savings Bank.

Do u think chain stores / restaurants / grocery centres / Whole Foodses are chill places 2 shop?
Have u ever moved 2 a relevant city and missed the convenience of

Now CVS is building a store in the Edge, another waterfront high-rise a block north of the Duane Reade on Kent Avenue. And it looks as if Starbucks may replace the ever-popular Bagel Store on Bedford Avenue when its lease runs out next year.

“Duane Reade is greed,” Jonathan Schmidt said after shopping at Kings Pharmacy. That store is directly across Bedford from the new two-story, 24-hour Duane Reade, which features aspirin, liquor, cosmetics, stationery, frozen food, cold cuts and produce, including three kinds of cherry tomatoes. “It’s becoming the East Village.”

Here is some Brooklyn Lady with a Baby. It seems like it is hard 2 be a parent in Brooklyn because they don't sell diapers in the bulk 4 ur baby since u r supposed to be 'green' and use cloth diapers or something

A newcomer to Williamsburg from Manhattan, Ms. Lind said she found the neighborhood to be very inconvenient. Many of the chic stores refuse to take credit cards. And, she said, the quaint gourmet coffee shops charge too much. She said she sent an e-mail to Food Emporium imploring the company to open a supermarket in Williamsburg.

“For some reason,” she said of her neighbors, “they don’t want corporate stores. They don’t want convenience.”

do yall <3 convenience, or do u want to 'stay authentic' even when ur a consumer.

Here is some guy who was quoted saying 'gentrification' just 2 try 2 sound smart:

“I guess you’d call it the gentrification of Williamsburg,” Mr. Winick said.

Wish I could be a landlord in Brooklyn who was 'getting rid' of the cheap mom-and-pop tenants and making 'big bucks' from huge corporate giants who would pay me whatever I want.

“Williamsburg used to be known for a type of idealism,” Mr. Rossillo said. “Williamsburg landlords have taken a different view. If they can squeeze blood from a rock, they will.”

His said his landlord wanted to double his rent to almost $15,000 a month when the lease is up next year. When he complained, the landlord said that Starbucks was willing to pay that much.

“I can’t pay it,” he said. “I don’t have Starbucks money. I’m a small business.”

But the landlord, Samuel Backer, said he was not trying to push out “the little guy.”

“I’ve given them every opportunity to renew the lease at fair market rents,” he said.

Do u think small shop owners think they deserve 'special rights' 2 keep them from having to pay 'tons of money' even though that is the current market rate?

Is Brooklyn the new suburbia?
Is it no longer 'alt' 2 want to move 2 Brooklyn bc there are just a bunch of chain restaurants?
Will this make Brooklyn 'more affordable'?
Do u hope Times Square moves 2 Brooklyn?
Now that Brooklyn is 'gentrified' / retailed-out, will there be a new alt city?
Does Portland let gimmicky franchises in2 their city?
Should I just move to Houston, TX and embrace The_Suburbs?
Is WalMart a new relevant alt hangout?
Do u think this is what Brooklyn will look like in 5 years?

Does this look like 'utopia' 2 u?

Unruly Teens are starting to die/overdose from drinking Four Loko


Have yall heard of the popular beverage / soda / adult beverage called Four Loko? Apparently it is like 'the new Sparks' and kids across the USA are digging it because it gets you super effed up fast, and it is 'loaded with caffeine', so u get mad energy, and mad effed up in one gulp. It is sorta like the same concept as the peanut butter jar with jelly mixed in. U just get to ride a dualcore wave without over-exerting urself. Really helps out ppl in today's fast paced world.

Just watched this CNN puff piece on Four Loko. It seems like they are trying to make it seem like a 'national epidemic.'

Apparently some bros 'blacked out hard' at some University of Lamestreamers. Do u think they were 'weak' cuz they couldn't handle Four Loko?

Nine Central Washington University students hospitalized this month after an off-campus party were sickened by "Four Loko," a caffeinated malt liquor also known as "blackout in a can," according to a police investigation.
Investigators concluded that none of the students were drugged or given alcohol without their knowledge and no sexual assaults occurred, according to a school statement.
The findings convinced university President James Gaudino to ban "alcohol energy drinks" from his campus.

Then they brought in some expert lady to talk about whether or not Four Loko is dangerous. She seems to have created this 'sweet ass infographic' that conveys tons of information . The visual representation rlly helps me understand why Four Loko is dangerous.

Is Four Loko 'dangerous'? Can u die from drinking Four Loko? Should I make a documentary abt only drinking Four Loko for one month of my life to demonstrate that it is dangerous/not good 4 u?

The drinks are "a binge-drinkers dream because the caffeine and other stimulants allow a drinker to ingest larger volumes of alcohol without passing out," the chairman of the school's physical education department said.

Once the blood alcohol level reaches a certain level, you can drop like a box of rocks.

"Being able to feel the effects of tiredness, loss of coordination and even passing out or vomiting are the body's defenses against consuming doses of alcohol that will kill you," professor Ken Briggs said.

They got an 'official statement' from the company that makes Four Loko. It seems like they are just like 'we just want ppl to be able to get jacked up and party' and 'we can't control whatever the eff they do.'

Feel like I side with them. College Students' parents should be held accountable for their actions, not the liquor company.

Should u just do tons of blow and drink rubbing alcohol instead of doing Four Loko?
Do these news reporters seem like 'conservative squares'?
Should I just vlog about chugging Four Loko?


Is Four Loko for tweens and minorities?

Is Four Loko a national 'local news'-esque epidemic that is invading middle American townships?


Have u had Four Loko?
What does it taste like?
What do u feel like?
Do u miss SPARKS?
Do u drink redbull + vodka?
Is my heart going to explode soon?
Is it the liquor company's responsibility to make sure ppl don't die/drink and drive/overdose when they consumer?

Are u on #TeamLoko or #TeamLocalNewsPuffPiece?
What does it feel like to 'get drunk' but 'be jacked'?
Should I make my own buzzworthy energy drink / alcoholic energy drink?

Some article abt a church in Brooklyn that 'welcomes effing hipsters'

I sorta want to re-brand myself as a freelance journalist who goes from paper to magazine to zine to local reader, and just writes trend pieces about hipsters. I will locate a community with tons of young ppl who are kinda 'hipster', and try to find a place that they are 'infesting.' It will be an opportunity to educate old people about 'hipsters' and maybe get some young ppl ironic traffic/mad hits.

Anyways, just read an article about HIPSTERS in WILLIAMSBURG BROOKLYN who started GOING TO CHURCH.

Here is the intro that manages to use the buzzwords 'irony', 'tattoos', and 'skinny jeans':

On Sunday evenings, a Hispanic Lutheran church on the gritty south side of Williamsburg transforms into a hipster religious revival with plenty of fashion but no irony.
Worshippers with full-sleeve tattoos, skinny jeans, stocking caps and square glasses pack the pews of Resurrection Presbyterian Church on South Fifth Street.

Sounds so hipster, yall.
Rlly a bzzwrthy trend piece. Young Ppl vibing out at a cultural location/meeting place.

Do any weird ppl go there? Like ppl who don't look like mainstreamers in church?

"The fellowship with everyone here is amazing," said Shaun Lee, 30, a skinny, scruffy East Village bartender who sports a skullcap and cargo jacket to service.

Can 'effing hipsters' be Christian? Do yall know if relevant/buzzworthy humans are Christians? Would I feel comfortable there?

The aisles are full of artists, actors, fashion stylists and musicians.
Even the pastor, the Rev. Vito Aiuto -- trained at the Princeton Seminary -- is in a band, and has recorded music with indie hero Sufjan Stevens, an occasional congregant.

Oh damn. U know Sufjan? Might vibe out at that church if the pastor gives a sermon abt why his new album is 'effing terrible.' Sorta want a pastor who talks to G-d abt buzzbands, and can relay to me what Godbro thinks is relevant.

Live jazz accompanies the collection, and church suppers include plenty of red wine, but the holy hipsters are serious about Christ. During services, parishioners raise their arms in prayer and confess that God saved them from "the power of the devil."

Feeling the power of the devil
inside of me
Need 2 cleanse myself
of 'hipster sins'
fixed gear bicycles
relevant buzzbands that use curse words
relevant buzzbands that have 'gothic' prnl brands
casual sex on the reg
dank on the reg
cocaine blow on the reg

Do yall believe in hipster christianity?
Can alts believe in God?
Is God real?
Is God 'alt' or the ultimate mainstreamer?
Or is he a chill mainstreamer, but has too many lamestreamer friends?

The bro from Kings of Leon says he h8s effing hipsters, <3s being rich mnstrmr

The Kings of Leon are a mainstreamer rock band who may or may not have used 2 be 'indie.' Eventually, they wrote killer arena rock bro anthems, such as "Use Some1 Yall" and "Ur Sexy On Fiya." Now they are basically 'American Rock Gods' and can shit on any band in the world. They basically 'bang models', 'wail on guitar', and do 'whatever the eff they want' on the reg because they are rock stars.

Anyways, one of the bros in the band said that he 'h8s effing hipsters.' He says that it is sweet to be a mainstream rock band and have an actual fan base of ppl who listen to ur music instead of a micro-niche of consumers who are 'way in2 it' but won't remember u in 2 years:

“I hate fucking hipsters,” frontman Caleb Followill told to Eliscu in her profile in Rolling Stone #1116. “Everyone talks about indie this and indie that, but would you really want to be one of those indie bands that makes two albums and disappears? That’s just sad,” he said. “When we signed on with our manager, we all said we wanted to have a box-set career. We’ll gladly be the next generation of bands that aren’t going anywhere.”

Do u agree with him? Does it seem sweeter to have tons of fans and have ur music last forever, instead of chasing an 8.4+ on Pitchfork?
Would u rather sell mad albums and get mainstream pussie, or just get 'critical praise' but not rlly appeal to the common man?
Do all indie bands 'die' within 2 albums?
Do u think he feels threatened by the Arcade Fire / Vampire Weekend / Nickelback?

Here is some intro that really 'glorifies' the Leon Kings, making it seem like they are a rock n roll band brand that true American dads can relate 2.

Rolling Stone’s Jenny Eliscu was there, and the band spoke with her about their new LP, Come Around Sundown (which drops tomorrow): How they’ve settled down now that several of them are married or engaged; and how they managed to become one of the biggest bands in the world the old-fashioned way — by touring and gradually growing their fanbase, rather than being a hipster flavor of the month.

Do real bands grow their fanbase 'gradually' by touring?
Are the Kings of Bro-ons a bunch of spoiler mnstrmrs who don't value the 'alt indie scene'?
Where the Leon Kings ever an 'indie band' or have they always been mnstrm?
Do u h8 'effing hipsters'?
Do u h8 the Kings of Leon?
Will 'hipster bashing' help Rolling Stone 2 sell more magazines, or should they just put the cast of Twilight on their cover?
Would u rather be in the Kings of Leon or Animal Collective?
Who do u think gets better pussie?

NSFW: Brooklyn 'effing hipster' entrepreneurs start a vintage porn zine, get profiled in NYTimes

Video may not be playable in ur RSS reader

Apparently, some couple from Brooklyn has started a porn magazine, except they are saying it is 'authentic, vintage porn' instead of just the modern digital smutty stuff. I feel confused by different genres of porn that are based on aesthetical vibes, and not based on 'content.' Feel like all porn should be designed to 'get u off' and people who want to J.O. to a 'vintage feeling' picture of people having sex should just build a time machine and go back to the 70s or something. Wish ppl could appreciate big fake titties and high-resolution digital close-ups of vaginas getting 'rammed' by 10 inch penises.

S000 pissed at this 'entrepreneurial couple' for getting an NY Times profile for selling smut. Guess porn drives hits though, and it helps that they look like huge 'effing hipsters.' They seem to be the 'modern Brooklynite couple.' Wish I could be in that relaish :-(. bet they have 'sick' swinger parties.

They got some NYTimes profile piece that keeps comparing them 2/referencing Am Appy. Here is the intro that really helps u 2 'dive in' 2 their world:

“HOLD it.” Jonathan Leder was standing behind a tripod on the porch of a musty, wood-shingle house in West Kill, N.Y., pointing his camera at a 19-year-old model, Britney Nola, who was wearing nothing but an unbuttoned pink shirt from American Apparel and a pair of slouchy blue socks.

Might start some sort of porn magazine so I can be relevant enough to get an NYTimes writeup. Kinda jealous/sad.

Thought I had to do something 'honorable' to get in the NYTimes, but I guess now I can start some sort of drug dealership/porn company/ assassination firm, and as long as I am 'based in Brooklyn' and have some sort of authentic gimmick, I can get blggd abt.

Do yall <3 vintage porn or the 'big tittied fake stuff'?

Mr. Leder is no ordinary pornographer. Along with his wife and editor, Danielle, the bearded, flannel-wearing Mr. Leder is the creator of Jacques, an upstart adult magazine in Brooklyn that reinterprets vintage Playboy in the age of 3-D porn and GPS hookups.

Joined by a small but influential roster of new pinup magazines — published in places like Amsterdam and the Lower East Side — Jacques is offering a self-conscious throwback to the magazines of the late 1960s and early 1970s, before the days of silicone implants, Photoshop and streaming HD video.

Do u h8 niche, limited-run magazines that pop up even though the magazine industry is dying?

Rlly just want to be in a modern porn relaish. Feeling sad. I thought porn was supposed to keep u from needing a real human, but this couple seems to prove that you can 'love porn' with ur significant other, watch it 2gether, make it together, cum 2gether.

Here is a part of the article where a blogger talks about how important magazines are even though they are a blog in another format.

“As magazines become more-premium objects, they use the paper and the physical experience as part of the narrative,” said Andrew Losowsky, editor of the Magtastic Blogsplosion, a blog that chronicles the global magazine industry.

When was the last time u bought a magazine?
Is Jacques Magazine 'mad authentic'?
Will Jacques Magazine become the new Playboy?
Do yall <3 or h8 'hipster porn'?
Will Jacques Magazine find the perfect alternative breasts?
Do u watch pornography with ur partner?

Might buy their next issue which is apparently 'all AZN'

I wonder if Jacques Magazine even really needs to exist, or if I can just find a free soft porn tumblr.

Nevermind. Just watched this video. Came super hard [via cum imagery].

I guess I was over-thinking it and all porn is good porn.

Kinda wet, yall.

Is all porn the same?
Are these people 'visionaries' or just 'horn balls' who are trying to out-gimmick the world?
Is Jonathan Leder the new Dov Charney?
Do u think they are 'full of shit' or authentic artists?
Is pornography the 'master art'?
What is ur favourite kind of porn?
Do yall h8 this era of magazines becoming 'vintage' things that we are supposed to 'support'/'keep alive' as an 'art form'?
Would u rather read a porn blog, porn magazine, or porn streaming video website?

Should I close this post with an excerpt about nipples 'going soft' + needing ice to get them hard again?

Back at the shoot, camera finally loaded, Mr. Leder took several shots of Ms. Nola, who seemed to gain confidence as the day went on. Her posture seemed more self-assured, her gaze more direct. The photos were coming together, but Mr. Leder found his eye drawn to an unfortunate side effect of the summer heat. Ms. Nola’s nipples seemed to be wilting.

“Ginger, would you grab some ice?” Mr. Leder asked Ginger Ralph, a hairstylist, who returned from the kitchen moments later with a bowlful.

“It’s always the small details, you know?” Mr. Leder said.

What do yall use when ur nipples go soft but ur shooting some vintage-feeling porn self-portraits of urself?

NYTimes writes sexist trend piece abt how women are ‘finally learning how 2 ride bikes’ 2 be fashionable

They say that riding a bike is one of the easiest things 2 do in the world since u learn how to do it when ur young, then u sorta never forget it, like when a lil babie spider learns how to spin a web from its mother. However, I just read a 'hip, kewl' New York Times trend piece that really tried to hype this concept of the modern, metropolitan woman starting to ride bikes to make themselves seem more independent / like they have a unique personal brand.

Basically, the article is saying like "Women are expected to get dolled up and look all pretty, but now bicycles are fashion accessories so women are more willing to ride them 2 look kewl and sexie." The article seems to say "Women are worthless and lazy, but in order to be a part of the trend, they are riding more bicycles even if it means they get sweaty and ugly and they don't have enough muscles to power the two wheeled mobile self-transport system around town."

Here is some intro 'personal story' abt some1 with a super important job who still rides a bike to work. Really helps u 2 connect with the spirit of the modern New Yorker / bike riding broad:

Sometimes she’s done up in sparkly necklaces and towering heels; other times she coasts to appointments, sans helmet, in a blazer and fresh-pressed jeans. “I get sweaty a little, but it doesn’t bother me,” she said. Her bike, after all, is a stylish appendage, “a kind of rustic enhancement,” she said.

She is one in an increasingly visible band of chic New Yorkers whooshing along the green-painted bike lanes that have proliferated in Manhattan, from the Brooklyn Bridge to the Hudson and from TriBeCa to Harlem, clutching BlackBerrys and clad not in spandex but in fluttery skirts, capes and kitten heels.

Seems soo modern [via Blackberries] and relevant [via name-dropping townships in New York City]. I hope my bulky, ugly mountain bike will still help me look fashionable when I 'move 2 the city.'

Really feels like this article is kinda sexist, like women are 'just now discovering bikes' or something because they are the inferior sex.

Here is some paragraph that tries to be all 'beautifully worded', like sentences that used to exist before we could look at a picture and be like 'Okay. I get it. Laters':

Roadways are the new runways for these style-obsessed cyclists, their bikes no mere conveyance but a racy adjunct to their look. More than a few are infusing what used to be an athletic, or purely practical, pursuit with eye-catching glamour and sex appeal. Their style, a modish amalgam of fashion and function, is documented on blogs and emulated by like-minded sisters on wheels. Their enthusiasm is fueling an uptick in business among independent merchants.

Need 2 major in journalism at my local community college so I can write for the local news and try to come up with trend pieces / profile pieces that 'go viral.'

Here is a part where they say that women who ride bikes are just copying more famous people who rode bikes just to 'be green' and 'look kewl/famous':

Ms. Rose and her cycling cohorts began appearing in Manhattan in significant numbers a couple of years ago, influenced perhaps by a handful of early adopters, including local celebrities like Chloë Sevigny and Naomi Watts, who aimed to burn calories, not fossil fuels. Their example inspired Ms. Page-Green. “When I ride my bike, I’m not wasting rubber,” she said. “I’m not spewing exhaust fumes. And I actually keep myself fit.”

Must be a trend if a famous person does it.

They quote some lady who tries to say bikes are as sweet as cars, and tries to make it seem like New York is better than LA:

“A bike in New York City is sort of what a convertible is in Los Angeles,” said Bonnie Morrison, a fashion publicist who gave up her fancy mountain bikes years ago, preferring to scoot around the city on a boy’s Raleigh Chopper from the ’70s.

Honestly would rather just drive a hummer, be safe from the elements, and run over bikers who were trying to 'look kewl' / 'adopt trends.'

Here is the 'closing part' of the article where they have to name drop 'fixed gear' + 'hipster', which seems mandatory in any NYTimes 'trend piece':

Ms. Dares has her heart set on a Raleigh single-speed, once she settles in. “I know, that’s so hipster,” she said sheepishly, “but everyone in Brooklyn rides one.”

Is 'riding bikes' a legitimate trend?
Have ppl been riding bikes 4evr?
Is this trend piece sexist?
Should I move to Brooklyn / a relevant Manhattan subdivision and start a boutique bike shop that overprices 'kewl looking' re-assembled bicycles that are bedazzled?
Can u use 'faded jeans technology' to decorate new bikes to look 'vintage'?
Do u think all of these women ride their bikes like 2x per year, then they just sit in their apartment 4evr?
Do u ride a bike, and are mainstreamers beginning 2 ride bikes?
Do yall hope more hawtties start 2 ride bikes around town wearing sluttie clothes?

NYTimes writes article abt how ‘effing hipsters’ are wearing zany, ironic basketball jerseys

Basketball jerseys have become a chill, alt look for bros in the summer. Whether you are going to a relevant music festival, grabbing a smoothie at Jamba Juice, or mowing ur parents' lawn in suburbia, the basketball jersey is a great way to stay warm with a breathable product and show off ur alt figure. Kinda an old trend, but I think mainstream sports blogs have been generating 'mad photo gallery hits' by posting 'effing hoopsters wearing basketball jerseys' photo galleries.

Really worried abt the state of modern journalism. Wonder if this bro can email his parents and say 'I was in the NYTimes 4 wearing that jersey you bought me before I was cut from the middle school basketball team.'

Mr. Haavisto, a 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker in Manhattan who wears tortoiseshell glasses and Vans sneakers, is among an unexpected breed of memorabilia collectors: 20-somethings with limited finances and unlimited nostalgia for the N.B.A. players — often obscure — of their childhoods.

Walk Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on a sunny Sunday, and you’ll spy any number of young men in vintage N.B.A. jerseys. It’s a safe bet none are headed to the basketball court.

Jesus Christ. None of them heading to basketball courts. Dear Lord. Vans sneakers. Holy shit. 20-somethings with limited finances. Unlimited nostalgia. Christ.

The article goes on to 'interview' a few alts who wear NBA jerseys, and they 'don't want to say where they found their authentic jerseys' because they are afraid of too many people finding out where 2 find relevant jerseys:

Both Mr. Keegan and Mr. Haavisto say they resent the new-found popularity of these jerseys among the fashion-conscious who are not basketball fans, and lament the rising prices for used and replica jerseys. Mr. Haavisto refused to name his favorite vintage store for fear of word getting around.

I wonder if vintage NBA jerseys are 'the new buzzbands' via not wanting mainstreamers to discover them/get their hands on them. Do u ever try to keep people from finding out about relevant bands/buzzworthy albums?

The article then goes on to admit that this article is just trying to 'get in on the hits' that all the blogs are getting by posting 'hoopster' galleries:

the sports blog asked readers to submit photos of themselves in their favorite jerseys for an online feature. A 75-photograph series from Lollapalooza had over 52,000 page views.

Does n e 1 know how much a page view is worth in internet dollars?
Do u wear vintage clothes/jerseys to connect with ur youth/the past?
Are retro NBA jerseys an 'authentic trend', or has the trend been around for a while, but the blogosphere is just 'figuring out the appropriate way 2 memefy this meme'?
Have u 'made it' as a human/trend/cultural movement when u end up in the New York Times?

Is this bro a 'hipster' or just a '20-something'?

Then they interviewed popular jam band singer Dave Matthews and he tried to be all deep:

David Matthews, a contributing editor to Deadspin, sees a possible psycho-social imperative behind the trend. “A friend of mine thinks that wearing an N.B.A. jersey is a way of showcasing your masculinity after years of figurative castration brought on by skinny jeans and the like,” he said.

Wonder if I should just tuck my cock between my legs, walk around with a mangina, and chill in a WNBA jersey.

Is the NYTimes 'relevant' or just a blog content aggregator?
What is the most alt retro NBA jersey?
Should Am Appy start selling vintage NBA jerseys 2 save their business?
Should I move 2 Brooklyn and try to 'start a trend' so that I can get a writeup that launches my career?

Local Hipster in Brooklyn hit by a bus 2 be alt


Just read a headline about some woman being hit by a bus in Brooklyn. Not sure what the scenario is, but assume that she was a 'hipster' and I will use this post as an opportunity to 'bash hipsters' for being consumer ass holes who are just slaves 2 trends. Might feel kinda bad if it wasn't actually a 'hipster', and just a 'regular human' who is trying to stay alive + provide for her family.

Seems kinda like some bummer news. Soo weird that a car accident happened in Brookslyn when I thought every1 there rode fixed gear bikes.

A woman is in critical condition after being hit by an empty school bus in Gravesend yesterday afternoon. The woman was carrying groceries while crossing Ocean Parkway near Avenue X. She had the light, but it changed when she was halfway across the street, and the Grandpa's Bus Co. Inc. bus crashed into her.

Wonder if she was on her way home from an organic vegan popup shop. Probably had her iPhone on too loud [via technology]. Probs listening to Vampire Weekend, MGMT, or another maltstream band.

Those hipsters... when will they ever learn....

One witness told the Daily News, "I heard the noise and went to help her. She was already bleeding from [her] head and mouth."

Probably was fake blood that she was using just to 'be unique.' Wish they'd realize that people bleed every day, and u can't be an individual and that trends are just recycled. They are all trying to be unique artists that they don't even follow street crossing rules.

Do u think this story was about a 'hipster' or just about a 'regular human'?
Should more articles 'bash' hipsters who 'live in Brooklyn'?
Do 'regular ppl' live in Brooklyn? Read a lot abt it on the internet as a 'hipster mecca.'
Did yall ride the bus to school in suburbia?
Are bus drivers careless + irresponsible?
Should Grandpa's Bus Co be 'put out of business' 4 hitting people?
Is it unchill 2 run over humans with school buses?

CNN writes article 4 parents abt how to fix spoiled tween behavior

From what I understand, tweens have 'behavioral issues' cuz their bodies are changing, and because they feel 'alone' cuz every1 at school fits in. With technology, texting, sexting, and yotube facebook, it is difficult for a tween to sort through the noise and find his or her identity. Unfortunately, most parents are inept, and don't realize what is going on, so they basically ruin a kid in their formative tween years., a blog for middle american liberals, published tips on 'how to fix ur broken/spoiled' tween.

The story starts out with a 'personal story' to get the reader invested in the situation

When my daughter, Anna, got home from school the other day, I told her, "We've got to get you new shoes. Take a quick break, and then let's jump in the car. "

In response, my usually mellow and mild-mannered 12-year-old threw down her backpack and snapped, "Oh. My. God. I JUST got home and you're not EVEN gonna let me rest for five minutes? FINE! LET'S GO! "

"NO! I have to get in the car. COME ON!"

"Hey, calm down. You can rest a minute..."

"YOU rest! I've got to go somewhere NOW!" And she slammed out the door.

"What's wrong with her?" my 8-year-old asked.

"I think the hormones have arrived, " I said.

"What the...?!"

H8 Anna. Wish she could just chill.

Do yall feel 'hurt' when ur tween gets angsty, or do u know he/she is just being a lil bitch, and u have to break them down, letting them know that ur 'the fucking boss'?

When your tween starts talking back, or yelling at you, or rolling her eyes every time you start to open your mouth, you're bound to feel shock, then maybe anger, followed closely by hurt.

Tired of tweens 'making excuses' about their bodies changing + searching for some sort of social identity. Wish they'd realize that we all are searching 4 the same thing. We gotta stop taking these kids seriously:

This may be especially true if it seems that your kid has gone from happy to snappy before her time. After all, this is the kind of behavior you expect from 13- and 14-year-olds -- not kids who haven't even hit the double digits. But the onset of sassiness is not your fault.

With adolescence looming, kids naturally feel compelled to start going their own way.

"They're not intentionally being disobedient," says Mary-Ann Lowry, a parenting coach and educator from Thousand Oaks, California. "They're on a path toward 'individuation,' when they really try to figure out who they are separate from you."

Do yall know how to punish a tween? Take away his XBOX /Macbook.

Choose a tween-appropriate punishment for infractions

When your child was a toddler or preschooler -- or maybe even as recently as a year ago -- you could pretty much get her to do what you wanted with positive reinforcement (praising her for being good, showering her with stickers) and the occasional time-out.

With a tween, however, most parents find they have to bring out the big guns; very few older kids are likely to change their behavior based on, say, the promise of an ice cream cone if they can go a week without stomping around the house.

"I find that taking away a favorite activity, like their Xbox or cell phone, is the best punishment when my kids talk back or mumble something rude under their breath," says San Diego mom Dana Hess, who has a 10- and a 14-year-old. Whatever you do decide, she warns, follow through. "Once you don't do what you say, they'll take total advantage, and you'll lose your upper hand again."

So tired of parents 'treating their tweens' like they are 'more than animals who need to be house-broken.' Don't over-analyze it, just 'take off ur belt', get out a paddle, and don't be afraid to turn that little ass red with pain / lashes. Michael Jackson turned out alright, and his dad beat him and the family 'on the reg.'

Think this is the worst advice possible. Stop acknowledging their feelings. Tell them to make straight A's and they'll have permission to be an individual when they get a full ride to a public/private university.

Along the same vein, be ready to talk when your tween needs to. Sometimes Anna will wander in while I'm working on the computer to lament some schism with a friend at school, say. I'll make a pointed effort to stop what I'm doing and pay complete attention to what she's telling me.

Even 20 minutes of focused conversation, I've found, does a lot of good, showing her that I do care about what she's going through and that I take it seriously.

If I'm right in the middle of something, I'll make an "appointment" to meet with her downstairs in half an hour. I'll put on the kettle (in our household, a cup of tea represents calm and comfort), and we'll talk about whatever's on her mind then.

Do tweens have real feelings?
Are u tired or over-parenting?
R u worried about raising a spoiled tween?
How can u keep ur kid from finding out about 'individuality' and just keep them on the track towards 'success'?
Do parents need to stop 'babying' their kids so they don't turn into worthless 20somethings?
Should tweens be banned from TV, internet, vlogging, youtube, and 'real life' privileges?
What tips would u give to parents who have spoiled tweens?

PASTE Magazine ‘folds’, mp3 blogs celebrate ‘taking down a magazine’

MP3 blogs are apparently 'the future' of content filtration and recommendation in the music industry. Old magazines are no longer profitable because no1 buys them cuz u can't stream mp3s on paper. Some indie music magazine called PASTE just 'went under.' Did yall read that mag, or are music mags for 'cool dads'? Do u like reading glorified blurbs about glorified generic sounding indie rock bands?

Not sure if that means they will still have a blog spot web presence, or if they will just 'shut it all down.'

"Seems sad" -a cool dad who loves 2 read magazines

The music monthly Paste magazine is shuttering its print publication after struggling financially for more than a year.

Editor-in-chief Josh Jackson said Wednesday that the magazine based in suburban Atlanta will keep its popular website going but will stop sending print editions to its more than 200,000 subscribers.

Seems unchill to 'axe' all of their music writers. Wonder if they will just outsource content production to India. Feel like that will probably keep 'writers' from thinking that they are actual artists.

Wonder if they will 'see a backlash' from people who donated to their fundraising campaign, but now feel 'effed over' that it went under.

Last year, the magazine asked readers to donate money to help it stay afloat. That drew thousands of dollars. Jackson says the donations helped delay the inevitable, after advertising revenue dropped.

Good thing 'website format' is their core competency. Wonder if Pitchfork 'dodged the bullet' by not trying to make a paper edition 'work' in the early 2000s?

Paste started as a website in 1998 and was first published on paper in 2002. Each monthly edition includes articles and photos on music, film and culture, plus a CD with songs from up-and-coming artists.

It seems like all hype machine mp3 bloggers should 'take out a bottle of champagne' since 'we' just won another battle, taking down another antiquated media standard by 'stealing their content + ads + improving the user experience.' Seems exciting, like a 'great day for new media.'

Do yall like mp3 blogs more than 'rock n roll magazines'?
Which music magazine is gonna go under next? Rolling Stone? SPIN? Buzzband Magazine? Gorilla Vs Bear Weekly Zine?
Do yall miss 'authentic music journalism'?
Is it weird when blogs write about magazines dying being a 'sad day'?
Should blogs celebrate any time a newspaper or magazine 'folds'?
Is 'music journalism' overrated?
When will HRO 'go under'?
When will blogs die?
Should HRO MEDIA ENTERPRISES hire the fired Paste Staff at 'below market wages', or should they just create some sort of 'robot' that scrapes the web and generates a crappy blurb based on other articles?
Is 'indie dead' or just indie rock magazines?

R u gonna miss PASTE?
Is music journalism 'dead'?

Fox News writes ‘hipster bashing’ article. Did they ‘nail it’? [via cultural commentary]

From what I have heard, 'backwards conservatives who hate brown ppl' watch Fox News and 'effing liberals who have white guilt' watch CNN. Then there is some weirdo segment of people who watch 'The Daily Show'/'The Colbert Report' and think they are 'smarter + more globablly aware' than any1 else cuz they are able 2 'LOL @the_news'.

Anyways, I'm not sure what the deal with the Fox News website is. Maybe it is a blog, maybe it is a 'news service.' Probs just one of those things where they throw up stuff for SEO. It seems like some Fox News Bro wrote a 'hipster bashing' 'article.' Honestly not sure what it says/if it 'says anything new.' Might have been relevant in 2k1 or something:

Hipsters. We all know one. They’re those fun, little, arrogant people who let the ideal of “anti-consumerism,” combined with a hatred for all things normal, dictate their every action. Whether it’s spending more time and money at thrift shops for threads (anti-consumerist threads, mind you), or combing the record store for the most unknown/least coherent band they can find, there’s one thing that hipsters constantly want you to know: that they are better than you. That, and also, those frames that you’re wearing are so mainstream.

Of course, it goes without saying that a leftist world view is a staple in the hipster’s theological wardrobe. For years, young adults have adopted extremely liberal world views in their attempts to be different, ultimately failing to see the irony that they’ve all become the same.

Sigh... when will those effing hipsters ever learn that they are just 'bullshit humans.' Yall are all the same.

The Article is titled "The Trouble With Hipsters." Might start headlining every blog post 'The Trouble With _____' 2 let every1 know that I am about to 'drop some mutha fuckin truth bombs' [via opinion puff pieces].

Might take a Sunday stroll thru 'NYC's East Village' sometime soon:

“I’ll never be a corporate suit or sell-out!”...“America is an Evil Empire that rapes the earth of its resources, and robs from impoverished countries!”...“Islamic terrorists wouldn’t want to kill us if we just left them alone and stopped being so arrogant....We don’t own the world!”

These are all common beliefs of hipsters that can be overheard on a Sunday stroll through NYC’s East Village. -- Just be sure to avoid the tainted syringes. -- If you were to ask the modern hipster, he… I mean she… Sorry, IT is likely under the impression that Usama Bin Laden is wearing skinny jeans in his cave, currently listening to Animal Collective as he throws back cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Certainly Al Qaeda shares a common bond with the trust-fund jackass, bobbing his head at the Vampire Weekend concert.

Vampire Weekend. PBR. 'trust fund jackass' Animal Collective. Is 'Al Qaeda' a buzzband?

Feel like the author of this article really 'let down his readership' by not including other buzz terms such as 'Williamsburg', 'Brooklyn' and 'fixed gear bicycle.'

Not sure if he 'nails' the ending or not. Seems like he coulda been more apocalyptic in his tone, like maybe saying that Barrack Obama is a blipster who is going to end the world.

It seems to me that at one point in our country’s history, young people adopted fashion styles that would come back to haunt them decades later.

Today, young people are increasingly adopting fashionable philosophies that could hurt the world for decades to come.

Also, they should shower more.

Steven Crowder is a 23-year-old comedian, writer and Fox News contributor.

Thnx Steve Bro. U 'nailed it' [via might get a Pullitzer or a Nick Jr. Kids Choice Awards]
If he's a comedian on Fox, does that make him a MAD TV cast member?

Did u vibe out to 'The Trouble With Hipsters'?
Is this 'the greatest Hipster Bashing piece of all time'?
Do u watch Fox News, CNN, or just ur local news?
Is Steven 'harshing the vibes' for Middle Americans who don't know 'what a hipster is'?
Does 'hipster bashing' appeal to only liberals on the internet, or will it 'crossover' in2 middle America?
Does n e 1 know when Fox became a 'news channel'? Thought it was just a station that syndicated episodes of the Simpsons, the Fresh Prince, and Home Improvement. Kinda confused.





Who do yall h8 more--leberils or consorvetives?

NYTimes does article on ‘effing hipster freegans’ who ‘go dumpster diving’ behind Whole Foods

Not sure what the New York Times is trying to do. I guess create 'compelling cultural content' that is sharable + can 'drive mad hits.' Anyways, they made another zany article about 'hipsters in Brooklyn' have 'started to' 'dumpster dive' behind high-end grocery stores. Feel like when I am hungry 4 food, I just go 2 the store and pay for it.

Can't imagine riding the freegan wave [via salmonella waves].

Not sure if this writing is 'real.' Maybe NYTimes is now just some sort of complex art piece/satirical commentary on modern journalistic techniques:

The Dumpster divers started their bicycle run just after nightfall on a summer Friday, rolling through the steamy streets of Williamsburg and Greenpoint, stopping only to dig through trash bags and pull out produce. They wore plastic gloves for the messier bags and used a flashlight on the darker stretches of sidewalk. Then they loaded their finds onto a cargo bike, retied the bags and cycled on.

The goal was to find enough food to supply an every-other-week gathering called Grub, which one founder has described as “a cheap, simple dinner for friends and co-conspirators.” It is a communal meal created from food that would otherwise have been wasted — and that many people might not deign to eat.

Feel like I'd rather go to a gathering called "Grub" if it was hosted at Golden Corral / Chili's / some franchise chain with quality control.

h8 freegans sooo much
Wish they were forced to get Costco memberships and just 'load up' in the bulk. Not sure how I feel about members of society who are happy to 'just eat discarded leftovers.' We really need a society filled with people who want to eat at fancy steak houses every night so that we don't lose 2 the Chinese in WW3.

Here is some paragraph where they romanticize the 'amazing items' that they found. Honestly feel like u have a 'better selection' when u go into the store and browse, instead of just looking in some trash bags:

So Jessie Martens grabbed a bruised cantaloupe and some shiny heirloom tomatoes from a curb in front of a supermarket on Union Avenue. Eric Levinson found bottles of organic juice being discarded outside a building near the Pulaski Bridge. And on Bedford Avenue, Phoebe Gray and Eric Lewis sifted through seven bags of trash before uncovering a bounty of kale, blackberries and peppers, as well as a punctured avocado that Mr. Lewis called “premade guacamole.”

Wonder if my local grocery store can start offering 'pre-made guacamole' by puncturing avocados in the fresh produce section.
Really just want to get 'more sustainable', live a 'greener life', and utilize

Is 'dumpster diving behind Whole Foods' a better solution than 'shopping at WalMart'?
Do yall prefer super-sized non-organic produce + meat + poultry?
Might just buy some non-organic boneless, skinless chicken breasts and make a meal.

Feel like this might have been some sort of 'produce placement' inspired advertorial. Kinda just want to buy some pita chips and TRIBE HUMMUS. Maybe I can dive in2 a dumpster and find a smart snack.

They tried to make it seem like they 'crafted a gourmet meal' out of the trash food. Not sure if I believe that they 'scored' all of that food.

Wonder if homeless people know how to make 'gourmet meals' after they dumpster dive, or if they just eat raw meat to stay alive, like some sort of authentic urban animal/savage.

Worried that they are portraying this place as some sort of indie/alt/crusty form of 'heaven':

Songs by Alex Chilton and Charlotte Gainsborough played through speakers. Ornaments and cardboard cutouts in the shape of stars and planets were suspended from the ceiling with ribbon, and a breeze blew through a skylight. Kale and sweet potato stir fry sizzled on a stove. Somebody made a jumbo salad. Somebody else uncorked a bottle of wine.

Should they open a restaurant and charge 'high prices'?
Do yall know people who 'do this kind of shit'?
Do u wish they'd just go vibe out at a pizza buffet?

Here is how the night/article ended. Seems deep.

The light faded. People took turns playing a mandolin as trucks rumbled in the streets below. As darkness fell, the dinner guests climbed back down the iron ladder, carrying empty plates and glasses.

Have yalll ever been dumpster diving?
What did u find? Did the food make u sick / give u food poisoning / 'the runs'?
If food is in the trash, is it safe to eat it?
Do u abide by a '10 second rule'?
Should dumpster divers 'be arrested'?
Do u 'call bullshit' on this event/trend?
Should I shop at Target, Walmart, or just dumpster dive?
Do u h8 how grocery stores and restaurants are required to throw away food?
Should we just create some sort of 'system' where that food is given to homeless people, alts, and freegans?
Does Whole Foods need to burn/cremate all of their old food so that homeless people + freegans don't have access to it?
Does 'trash' belong 2 no1, or is it the owner's right as an American to know that their garbage wasn't re-used or recycled in any format?
Did the New york Times write 'another brilliant article', or are you tired of 'hipster trend pieces'?
Do u think they should use the word 'hipster' more freely in articles/blog post titles, instead of trying to work around it?
Should I go dumpster diving behind Chili's and pick up some Fajitas, bottomless chips and salsa, and SXSWestern Eggrolls?
Should I go dumpster diving behind _________ and pick up some ___________________?

NYTimes writes new culture piece on “zero-something” hipsters who opt to skip kindergarten 4 self-discovery

Not sure what the deal with the NYTimes is--is it a news paper, a blog site, or a cultural documentation resource center? Didn't live in NYC as a kid, so I am not sure if they have always published 'cultural trend' pieces that try to explain sociological + generational trends, or if this is just like a modern traffic hoarding technique, like a 'smoke and mirrors' form of a photogallery. Anyways, it seems like after their hit article about 'twenty-somethings' who are in no hurry to grow up, they decided to take it to a new extreme and write a trend piece on 'zero-somethings.' Basically just 4 or 5 year olds who are about to start kindergarten, but then due to their own free will, or based on the assessment of their parents choose to 'stay home' instead of starting kindergarten.

Not sure what's so difficult about kindergarten. Isn't that just where they teach u to 'color inside the lines' and to 'wipe ur own ass'? Seems like parents need to stop babying their kids at such a young age, or else they will grow up to be 'twenty-something hipsters' who have achieved/excelled within the American educational system, but cant' really contribute anything to society/earn income.

Kinda seems like both twenty-somethings and zero-somethings are both super lazy, 'redshirting' the option of growing up:

AFTER all those attentive early childhood rituals — the flashcards, the Kumon, the Dora the Explorer, the mornings spent in cutting-edge playgrounds — who wouldn’t want to give their children a head start when it’s finally time to set off for school?

Suzanne Collier, for one. Rather than send her 5-year-old son, John, to kindergarten this year, the 36-year-old mother from Brea, Calif., enrolled him in a “transitional” kindergarten “without all the rigor.” He’s an active child, Ms. Collier said, “and not quite ready to focus on a full day of classroom work.”

“Redshirting” of kindergartners — the term comes from the practice of postponing the participation of college athletes in competitive games — became increasingly widespread in the 1990s, and shows no signs of waning.

Sorta wish my parents considered whether or not I was 'ready 'for social interaction before they enrolled me in public school, and made me ride the bus every morning. Seems like they just thought school was a 'public baby sitting program' or something, so they just kinda abused it to keep my busy.

Kinda wish I could take 'transitional years' regularly, finishing college at age 45. Do u think my parents would be chill with that? Feel like people think they can only 'take a year off' during college, but I guess u can do it before kindergarten too.

Did u take a year off during school? Were u 'held back'?
how old were u when u started kindergarten? Were u an older class bully, or a young, smart bro who deserved to be there?

With the wide age spans in kindergarten classrooms, each new generation of preschool parents must grapple with where exactly to slot their children. Wiggly, easily distracted and less mature, boys are more likely to be held back than girls, but delayed enrollment is now common for both sexes.

“Technically, Lillian could go to kindergarten,” Ms. Tayse Baillieul said. Moving her up from part-time preschool would allow Ms. Tayse Baillieul to return to work and earn income. But Lillian’s preschool teachers counseled her to hold Lillian back. “They said staying in preschool a year longer will probably never hurt and will probably always help, especially with social and emotional development.”

If u had the chance, would u 'delay growing up', and start kindergarten at age 10-15?
do u feel like u would be a natural, free, authentic spirit if u didn't get ur vibes crushed in a public/private educational institution?
Should we all just be homeschooled?

Seems like parents don't want their younger kids to be influenced by the bullshit consumer trends of older kids in their kindergarten class:

Still, it bothers her that children in the same class are as much as a year and a half older than Clare. “She has friends who are 11 who are going to get their periods this year, and she’s still playing with American Girl dolls.” Another mother complained that her 4-year-old became hooked on Hannah Montana by her aspiring-tween classmates. A 6-year-old wielding a light saber can be awfully intimidating to a boy who still sleeps with his teddy.

Did yall have ur first period in kindergarten?
Were u worried that u were gonna die?
Wish all humans could mature at the same rate and never die.

Sorta wish my parents started me in kindergarten 'right out of the womb' so I coulda gone to Harvard/Yale/The New School/Pratt/something more prestigious than community college:

“Among parents here, there’s a tremendous demand for kindergarten earlier,” said Eva Moskowitz, founder of the Harlem Success Academy Charter School, which pushed its cutoff back to Dec. 1. “If these parents could start their kids at 2, they would.” Not everyone, alas, defines academic privilege the same way.

Wish we could just come up with a rule that solved this societal problem, instead of using the age-old excuse that 'every1 is different.' We rlly need to fix this problem before zero somethings become ten-somethings, then those ten-somethings become twenty-somethings.

Is the NY Times 'killing it' with progressive journalism, or is this article just made for parents who are taking 'internet breaks' to catch up on relevant websites so they don't feel so isolated from the world in their American dream?
Do u think zero-something kids are 'ass holes'?
Are they worse than twenty-somethings?
Are parents 'over-parenting' and just need to let kids make their own mistakes, even if they are 2-7 years old?
Do parents help to create worthless kids at a young age?
Did u learn everything u needed to know about life in kindergarten?

R u gonna enroll ur zero-somethings/toddlers in school, or just buy them a condo in Brooklyn and let them 'figure out life on their own'?

NYTimes writes article abt how worthless 20-somethings can’t get jobs & try 2 stay young 4evr

Just read another article trying to figure out the 'social forces' that have constructed Generation Y as they have 'grown up', graduated from college, and chose to neglect their standard duties as functional members of society. For some reason, every1 is trying to figure out 'hipsters' / 'twenty somethings' / 'college grads who can't find work' / college grads who are 'above' working entry-level jobs that aren't 'fulfilling.' Seems like 20something just know how to chill hard, and realize we don't have to 'fucking conform', except we have 'the balls' 2 follow thru cuz we can just chill on our laptops all day 2 escape from society without actually giving up 'being social.'

Are u 20something?
R u unemployed?
Did u graduate from college, but not really digging ur options/career path(s) available?
Did u move back in with ur loving parents because they are 'upper middle class'?
Do u feel pressure to get a 'real job', 'get married', and 'have some kids' asap?
R u a free spirit who is in no hurry to 'start real life'?

It’s happening all over, in all sorts of families, not just young people moving back home but also young people taking longer to reach adulthood overall. It’s a development that predates the current economic doldrums, and no one knows yet what the impact will be — on the prospects of the young men and women; on the parents on whom so many of them depend; on society, built on the expectation of an orderly progression in which kids finish school, grow up, start careers, make a family and eventually retire to live on pensions supported by the next crop of kids who finish school, grow up, start careers, make a family and on and on. The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain un­tethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life.

Worried. I thought Teach for America was a 'legitimate' option for jumpstarting my career. Worried that the on-campus recruiter I talked to last week was just 'blowing smoke up my ass' to meet recruitment quotas.

Are yall glad that ur not like ur parents, and u haven't felt pressure to start a career that would probably 'peak' with a job in middle management? Is ur life meant for 'so much more' than such inhumane desk work?

Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation.

Seems like they also asked 20 year old ppl to document their lives' with their iPhones to make the story 'visually captivating'

The New York Times Magazine asked 13 young photographers to capture the identity of their generation using iPhones. They brought back photos of friends, family members, strangers and themselves. See each photographer’s work, organized by row, below.

Here is a sample 'photo'. Seems kinda like the vibe is some1 taking a myspace pic even though they are about 10 years too old.

Do u feel pressure to 'get pregnant' or do fertility drugs mean that you can pop out 7 identical babies when ur 45 years old?

Among the cultural changes he points to that have led to “emerging adulthood” are the need for more education to survive in an information-based economy; fewer entry-level jobs even after all that schooling; young people feeling less rush to marry because of the general acceptance of premarital sex, cohabitation and birth control; and young women feeling less rush to have babies given their wide range of career options and their access to assisted reproductive technology if they delay pregnancy beyond their most fertile years.

Not sure why this beardbro is in this story. Seems to just be an 'effing hipster' who represents a zany 20something who doesn't care abt society's standards. Seems chill that he is 'living strong, wearing yellow'.

It seems like there is 'no official age' where society calls u an adult, so 20something bros can just delay 'growing up' as long as possible.' Wish local + federal governments who get their shit 2gether:

Our uncertainty about this question is reflected in our scattershot approach to markers of adulthood. People can vote at 18, but in some states they don’t age out of foster care until 21. They can join the military at 18, but they can’t drink until 21. They can drive at 16, but they can’t rent a car until 25 without some hefty surcharges. If they are full-time students, the Internal Revenue Service considers them dependents until 24; those without health insurance will soon be able to stay on their parents’ plans even if they’re not in school until age 26, or up to 30 in some states. Parents have no access to their child’s college records if the child is over 18, but parents’ income is taken into account when the child applies for financial aid up to age 24. We seem unable to agree when someone is old enough to take on adult responsibilities. But we’re pretty sure it’s not simply a matter of age.

So confused. Wish u were just considered an adult right after the first time u grew a nice bush of pubes / share an intense orgasm with a a member of the opposite sex.

'Age is just a number n e ways... All we are is flowers in the wind.'

Do u think that ur gonna live to 100 years old, so there really isn't any worry about 'wasting ur 20s' banging as many ppl as possible? Do u feel pressured to 'get married' to form a collective identity with another human, or are u focused on 'finding urself'?

The more profound question behind the scholarly intrigue is the one that really captivates parents: whether the prolongation of this unsettled time of life is a good thing or a bad thing. With life spans stretching into the ninth decade, is it better for young people to experiment in their 20s before making choices they’ll have to live with for more than half a century? Or is adulthood now so malleable, with marriage and employment options constantly being reassessed, that young people would be better off just getting started on something, or else they’ll never catch up, consigned to remain always a few steps behind the early bloomers? Is emerging adulthood a rich and varied period for self-discovery, as Arnett says it is? Or is it just another term for self-indulgence?

Might just get a job at my local Hot Topic / Pac Sun

Seems like in ur 20s, u can' believe u can do anything'. Seems like an empowering outlook on life. Hope it lasts forever, so that even after my life 'turns to shit' and I have to 'take care of kids + a naggy, annoying life partner', I will always know that my life will pan out:

DURING THE PERIOD he calls emerging adulthood, Arnett says that young men and women are more self-focused than at any other time of life, less certain about the future and yet also more optimistic, no matter what their economic background. This is where the “sense of possibilities” comes in, he says; they have not yet tempered their ideal­istic visions of what awaits. “The dreary, dead-end jobs, the bitter divorces, the disappointing and disrespectful children . . . none of them imagine that this is what the future holds for them,” he wrote. Ask them if they agree with the statement “I am very sure that someday I will get to where I want to be in life,” and 96 percent of them will say yes. But despite elements that are exciting, even exhilarating, about being this age, there is a downside, too: dread, frustration, uncertainty, a sense of not quite understanding the rules of the game. More than positive or negative feelings, what Arnett heard most often was ambivalence — beginning with his finding that 60 percent of his subjects told him they felt like both grown-ups and not-quite-grown-ups.

R u a 'grown up'?

Seems like we are all trying to deal with 'getting old' or something, even comedic dads. For some reason, the Gen Y struggle seems 'more special' because our collective identity is more unique.

Good 2 know that when ur parents are rich u r in a better position than if ur parents are poor, since they can't really offer u money 2 help u. 'Relieved' that my parents are rich, and I can just 'piss away my twenties' instead of actually having legitimate responsibilities.

This dependence on Mom and Dad also means that during the 20s the rift between rich and poor becomes entrenched. According to data gathered by the Network on Transitions to Adulthood, a research consortium supported by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, American parents give an average of 10 percent of their income to their 18- to 21-year-old children. This percentage is basically the same no matter the family’s total income, meaning that upper-class kids tend to get more than working-class ones. And wealthier kids have other, less obvious, advantages. When they go to four-year colleges or universities, they get supervised dormitory housing, health care and alumni networks not available at community colleges. And they often get a leg up on their careers by using parents’ contacts to help land an entry-level job — or by using parents as a financial backup when they want to take an interesting internship that doesn’t pay.

Not sure if this article offered any job tips, like 'upload ur resume' to / or anything like that. Really hope Gen Y bros just chill hard, have no money for retirement, and are forced into virtual homelessness.

Why are 20somethings not willing to 'get real jobs' like Gen Xers + Baby boomer + every other old ass person before 'us'?
Why won't 20something hipsters 'grow up'?

Did u ever move back in with ur parents, and feel a lot of weird vibes because of their expectations for ur life, and ur lack of conformity to society's antiquated norms? Do your parents truly 'love you for YOU' or do they just love the person who they think u r?

Is ur mom chill, or do u feel a lot of 'disappointed' vibes from her?

Did this article 'uncover' anything 'insightful'?
Do 20somethings need to 'get their shit together'?
Will Gen Y 'retire' without a retirement fund?
Should we all just continue trying to be bloggers/social media gurus/buzzband members, instead of getting jobs as teachers/insurance agents/bank tellers?
Will there be some sort of "Recession of Chill" when 20somethings don't accomplish their dreams?
Will u land ur dream job, or is ur head in the clouds?
Do parents have a responsibility to get their kids' head out of their asses, even though their children now 'look like grown ups'?
What is more interesting: the era of articles abt Gen Y 'using the internet a lot' or the articles abt Gen Y 'growing up and not having real jobs'?

Should I get my life together before it is too late?
Should I just go to 'grad school'/law school to extend my youth?
Am I 'above' 98% of the job opportunities that are available for me?
Does n e 1 know if it is true that every human on Earth will die one day?
Am I 'living in a goddamned dreamworld' because I believe that within my lifetime, scientists will find a way to make us live forever?

New York Times admits it utilizes ‘bloggy tactics’ by using word ‘hipster’ in headlines to get hits

It seems like the New York Times are trying to 'rebrand' and be 'more than a crappy blog' that turns every article about young ppl/culture/technology into some sort of 'hipster expose' / 'hipster bashing' piece. Feel like 'hipster' headlines get 'mad hits', since so many ppl want to find out 'what makes a hipster tick' and/or 'wtf is a hipster?'

Do u think blogs 'force' hipster memes to get pageviews from mainstreamers who want to figure out how to be more alt by learning abt hipster/alt trends?
Do u think the modern media has crafted the image of Williamsburg being 'alt heaven'?

According to the NY Times robot statistician, they used the word 250 times in the past year, up from 19 times in 1990. Seems like maybe the word just 'means more' in 2k10.

We try hard to shed our old image as stodgy and out of it. Perhaps too hard, sometimes.

How else to explain our constant invocation of the old/new slang “hipster”? As a colleague pointed out, we’ve used it more than 250 times in the past year.

Can't believe they've used the word 'hipster' so much. Seems like 'cheap journalism.' Sorta wish there was a new blog/magazine/newspaper that wasn't in it for money/pageviews, and only care about the purity of reporting 'exclusive scoops':

Our latest infatuation with “hipster” seems to go back several years, perhaps coinciding in part with the flourishing of more colloquial (and hipper) blogs on our Web site. In 1990 we used the word just 19 times. That number rose gradually to about 100 by 2000, then exploded to 250 or so uses a year from 2005 on.

In addition, every time an article is written about Brooklyn, writers must feel pressure to use the word 'hipster' in it, because that is where tons of 'effing hipsters' live.

Then there’s the Brooklyn connection: our archive confirms that Kings County is the very center of hipsterdom. Ninety-six Times pieces in the past year that included the word “hipster” also mentioned Brooklyn, edging out even once-hip Manhattan, which had 87 overlapping mentions. Queens trailed badly with 33, while the Bronx merited only a handful and Staten Island just two.

In any case, hipster’s second life as hip slang seems to have lost its freshness. And with so many appearances, I’m not sure how precise a meaning it conveys. It may still be useful occasionally, but let’s look for alternatives and try to give it some rest.

Can u replace the word 'hipster'?
Is it 'cheap journalism'/'crappy writing' when
What does 'hipster' even mean, yall?

Is 'hipster culture' dying or evolving?
Is the 'hipster' culture fighting to live on forever, avoiding cultural natural selection?
Did 'hipsters' die in 2k_?
Do yall know any1 who calls themselves a 'hipster'?
Are newspapers 'the original blogs'?
Is the NY Times the biggest 'hipster basher' in the world?
Should newspapers get more bloggy, or deactivate their blog websites and exist only in paper format?
Will blogs ever be 'as relevant' as newspapers?
Will blogs ever go to 'print format', or is that part of the business just a 'huge financial burden'?

Time Magazine writes article about Pitchfork, ‘uncovers’ dark secrets of p4k origins

Pitchfork Media is a popular blog magazine website that has 'gained a lot of organic buzz' over the last 10-30 years. It seems like ppl go there to find out about a new buzzband, or determine how much they should like a buzzband based on their 'reviews' system. N e ways, it seems like this new blogspot has 'blown up' and started to get some mainstream press for the traditional 'they were once a lofi operation, but they have rlly grown, and they even have a successful music festival' type of story. Not sure if they hire real journalists to write this type of stuff or if they just pay an intern with free promo CDs and free Kashi products in the company break room.

Anyways, seem like Pitchfork started because the dude who made it didn't have a Xerox copy machine to copy and paste a 'zine', so he had 2 use a 'boring old' webpage.

In 1995, Ryan Schreiber was a 19-year-old Minneapolis record-store clerk who wanted to publish a rock-music fanzine but lacked access to a photocopier. Instead, he started a website, called it Pitchfork and began posting his thoughts on bands like Sonic Youth, Fugazi and the Pixies — groups whose songs rarely (if ever) appeared on the radio or MTV. It was the first golden age of "indie" artists, back when the word was shorthand for music released on independent record labels, signifying the artistic freedom and cachet that came from operating on the fringes.

Wonder what the world woulda been like if Ryan Schreibs had a scanner/printer/faxer [via HP]. Wonder what the world would be like without Pitchfork.

The article also says that the article that 'put Pitchfork on the map' was a review of KID A by the Radioheads:

By 2000, Schreiber had moved the site to Chicago, acquired some freelance writers and codified the Pitchfork review into a signature formula — a long, rambling personal opinion of an album, accompanied by a rating on a scale from 0.0 to 10.0. But the site's readership was still, to use his word, "negligible." That changed in October of that year, when Pitchfork posted a fawning, grandiloquent 10.0 review of Radiohead's experimental rock album Kid A. Critic Brent DiCrescenzo's paean included lines like "butterscotch lamps along the walls of the tight city square bled upward into the cobalt sky" and became an Internet sensation — for all the wrong reasons. "The writing was so purple, so outrageous. People passed it around because it was funny," Schreiber says. Pitchfork's readership jumped exponentially, to about 5,000 hits a day.

Then an odd thing happened: people made fun of the prose, but they kept reading Pitchfork. Schreiber and his writers knew what they were talking about; Kid A., which later debuted at No. 1 on Billboard, really was a 10.0 album.

seems like back than a 10.0 = 'a guarantee for a #1 spot on the Billboard charts.' Wish new p4k would give JBieb a 10.0 to keep their brand consistent.

Gotta check out that "A KIDZ" album, see what it is all about. Wonder if Radiohead is a band created for/by/on the internet.

Sorta feel like I just looked behind the curtain of the Wizard of Oz finding out that Pitchfork isn't some robot. Kinda feel inspired. Like me and my bros can start an organic indie music site, and eventually rise to prominence and 'control the fucking scene' while 'rolling around in piles of cash.' Might cancel my plans to start a chillwave buzzband and opt to build a blogspot.

Anyways, here is a generic paragraph about 'indie bands that have gone mainstream':

Pitchfork's reviews of artists previously considered unknown or underground — like xylophone-prone Icelandic band Sigur Rós and harmonizing rockers Modest Mouse — began to act as stepping-stones to mainstream coverage. In 2000, Modest Mouse moved from independent label Up Records to Sony-owned Epic; by 2005, they had performed on Saturday Night Live, been nominated for two Grammys and guest-starred on Fox's teen drama The O.C. Their songs are now used in car commercials.

R u inspired by the story of Pitchfork?
Do u wish Pitchfork was 'never born' or is it 'an important part of the indie scene'?
Without Pitchfork, does 'indie' go mainstream?
Does Pitchfork have a 'dark, secret past' or is it just like any other website?
Is 'indie' in good hands with p4k, or are they 'ruining' auth indie vibes?
Is Pitchfork 'the most successful buzzband' in the history of the world?
R u gonna start a website blog with some of ur friends, offering a unique perspective on music & culture?

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Read more>>>>

Ryan Schreiber

Alternative Entrepreneur, Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Ryan Schreiber is the creator of Pitchfork Media. He is one of TIME MAGAZINE's most important people in the world ever.

Read more>>>>

Am Appy CEO h8s blogs who pan their brand just to get hits, singles out Gawker

American Apparel is an American-based Apparel Retail selling company who is known for provocative ads. It seems like their company is 'blog bait' since 'effing hipsters' are constantly wrestling with their relationship with the brand. The CEO of American Apparel is named "Dov Charney", and he is usually 'torn to pieces' by blogs for being 'inauthentic' about his company's 'social missions' since blogs would rather focus on his 'sexually deviant' personal brand.

Some blogspot wrote some post about Am Appy, then he called the blogger to 'set their ass straight.' Do yall h8 bloggers who are ruining the lives' of companies, buzzbands, record labels, and entrepreneurs who are just trying to make the world a better place/sell shit?

First he says Gawker is 'bullshit' because they hide behind so many levels of satire, but don't try to make the world a better place:

Gawker's exploiting their position as a satirical website -- they should be using their power to effect social change.

Do yall like Gawker? From what I understand it is 'one of the biggest blogs in the world' since they 'invented snark.'

N e ways, Dov Charney has been 'branded as a sexual deviant' according to blogs. He says that some bro lied about all of that, now he is stuck getting tons of coverage about it even though it isn't really even that true.

So the sexual harassment accusations aren't founded?

Charney: Absolutely not. You're a fool to think that. You and Gawker are part of an ongoing campaign of self-interest. Gawker wants people to read their posts. Go look at yourself in the mirror. It's cheap journalism. It wouldn't be as exciting if this was a story about Zales. There's a catharsis you should all go through. This is a fake crusade, an entire media campaign since 2005 initiated by an attorney who wanted money. No one has the balls to remove him from the system. It's one fake case after the next.

There's a high level of intelligence behind the business. We're marketing well and hiring people who know how to speak to the essence of the brand -- or at least we're making efforts to. Could Larry King show up to his job with a septum ring? We're trying to cast the right people for the store. We have room for a lot of exception and variety. That's somehow unethical? We regulate the taste in our store. Gawker's coverage of the issue has not done justice to the social issues at hand. The media has choices.

Do u think it is unfair for coverage to focus on 'sexual harassment' + other sexual vibes associated with their brand/employees? He goes on to say that Martin Luther King Jr also 'got his swerve on' even though he was changing the world/ending racism. Bros will be bros--no big deal. Men do great things, and men also love 2 make love.

Martin Luther King was having affairs, but his work was too important so the media didn't bring it up. They're deploying sexual shame tactics -- it dehumanizes the subject. Ideas are more important. I accuse you of being a creep. A large number of the plaintiffs stole from the company, or we had valid reason to want to remove them. If I'm a creep, they're creeps. Provocative ad campaigns make sense. Who cares?

MLK seems chill for 'getting his Tiger Woods' on [via having a dream of premium blow jobs].

N e ways, seems like the resolution is that 'bloggers are cowards', and don't really even contribute anything to the world since they are possibly the worst kind of journalists since they just have to make up lies/stories/focus on negative vibes just to get hits.

Journalists are in collusion with one or two plaintiff lawyers. Who's the victim if I can't finance my business? Shareholders? Workers? They're writing crap to get $300 for a blog post. There's a hysteria in the community that separates itself from reality. Gawker can play an important role in using satire and humor. It's morally reckless on their part to put out random stories with altered or fictitious emails, or to take one person's opinion and cast it as the opinions of many. It was like 12 emails from a group of 5,000 retail workers. I think it's creepy. I've invited them to come to the factory and talk to the workers.

Do yall think Dov Charney is chill?
Do blogs harsh his company's vibes 2 much?
Is Gawker being 'mean' just 2 get hits?
Should more blogs blog for social change, or do blogs need to blog 4 hits?
Do blogs just belittle the intentions of others without even bringing anything innovative to the table?
Are blogs bad for journalism?
Is blogging 'cheap journalism'?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF ruining buzzbands/companies?
Is THE ALT REPORT 'cheap journalism'?
Do u support American Apparel?
Do u believe in their social mission?
Every time a blog 'takes a shit on Am Appy', are they really just hurting the factory workers who depend on the company for their job?
Every time some1 posts a blog, will feelings get hurt?
Are you on #Team_Appy, #Team_Dov, #Team_Gawkie, or #Team_Blogger_Mad_Hits?

Some magazine puts an ‘effing fixie riding hipster’ on the cover 2 sell copies

Look at that effing hipster
riding his fixed gear bike
chillin with a chest tattoo
open plaid shirt
skinny jeans rolled up
as he bikes into chillwaves
listening to summer beach jams

never heard of this magazine
but it seems to have a 'chill business model'
Most magazines just put famous tweens
and half naked sluts on their magazine covers

But this magazine just puts 'effing hipsters' on that shit
doing 'trendy, hipster shit'
like riding fixed gear bicycles
listening to buzzbands on iPhones
going to relevant music festivals
riding chillwaves
working as baristas at starbucks
doing blow
updating their myspace scene hipster profiles
and other hipster ass shit

Might buy this magazine
and frame it
as the day that 'hipsters' finally got 'mad mainstream old media coverage'

Just want to be a poet &/or writer
and read about other poets and writers in a chill magazine
that has high resolution photos
and solid zine elements

Effing hipsters
'when will they ever learn...'

R u pumped about the 'hipsters on magazine covers' era?
When will we see 'an alt' on the cover of __________ (mainstream magazine)?
Does this bro seem like a good writer based on the way he looks?
Can u 'judge a book' by the author's personal brand?

LOCAL NEWS reports new trend: Tweens biting 1 another 4 blood bcuz of Twilight

Watch CBS News Videos Online
Twilight is a popular movie amonst tweens and teens. The movie is about a wolf bro and a vampire bro who 'want to fuck' the same normal chick, and make her part of their clan, forcing her to carry their baby. N e ways, the movie is so popular that teens are starting to 'suck eachother's blood' just to be like authentic vampires.</br/>

No matter where you watch, big screen or little, vampires are everywhere. The "Twilight" movies earn millions. "Trueblood" has a huge following. Even the "Vampire Diaries" are popular. And with the abundance of blood sucking entertainment many young people are living out what they see.

The newest craze is biting. The vampire fans are biting each other in a show of affection. But that can be a dangerous thing CBS News health correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton says the bites can cause serious infections.

N e ways, the segment is kinda boring/is all based on circumstantial evidence. They really should have interviewed a few tweens who love drinking blood, and go to local blood banks to ask for free samples. It was sort of a 'mailed in' local news piece that was 'just good enough' 2 go viral. The standard 'interview teen' ---> shots of teens passing thru halls in high school ---> interviewing 'expect blogger' ----> interviewing medical professional.

Here is another 'crappy ass' local news segment. The 'news journalist' does some hard hitting work, and travels to a local movie theatre to interview teens and their parents: the ultimate source of truth.

Might get a job as a local news producer with the goal of covering odd social high school niches, just so that we can go viral and 'save' our local news station.

N e ways, the trend probably isn't even 'that real' and the authentic vampire bros were probably sucking blood way before Twilight. I have heard that authentic Vampire bros started 2 suck blood right after 'The Lost Boys.'

Really feel like the 'wolf tweens' [link] were the best 'profile piece' of an emerging stupid teen trend/subculture. You really got a dynamic view of their 'way of life.'


IF u were tweens, would u be wolves or vampires?
Are local news segments intended 2 scare old people the best content in the history of humanity?
Should I just pick up a copy of the Twilight Soundtrack, murder some1, and drink all of the blood in their body?
Is blood more refreshing than water/beer/Sparks/milk?
Do u think teens really 'bite eachother' or is this 'fucking bullshit'?

NYTimes writes profile piece on MIA making her look stupid, MIA gets pissed & tweets writer’s phone number

The NY Times recently wrote a 'profile piece' about M.I.A., and basically 'panned the eff out of her', not only as an artist, but as a human being. It wanted to make sure we understood she was a 'contrived bitch' who was just doing things for memes / press / coverage. Even though she has an 'artistic vision' or whatever, she still just tries to 'be all sensational' and lies about stuff she doesn't really fully understand. Really pans her. (Bloggable excerpts posted below).

Seems like the article had 'an agenda'/the 'holes in M.I.A.'s character thesis are kinda obvi.' Wonder what 'the truth' is.

Anyways, M.I.A. got pissed at the writer of the article, Lynn Hirschberg, and tweeted out her phone number.

Seems like M.I.A. has 'gone insane' possibly. Like she is living in a world that no1 else lives in.
Seems like a 'very unchill move' that might get her 'press' for 'being so rock n roll', will probably just send her deeper into a spiral of inauthenticity.

Wonder if this article effectively 'killed' M.I.A.'s career. Worried. Feel like M.I.A. has 'a lot of shit up her sleeve', and it will be sorta like watching some1 having a mental breakdown right in front of our eyes.

Breakdown of 'meme-worthy' highlights of the article:

Made her seem like she cared more about her own fame than having her own child:

Although her publicist had a wheelchair ready and a midwife on call, Maya, who has a deep and instinctive affinity for the provocative, knew that this Grammy moment was not to be missed. It had everything: artistic credibility, high drama, a massive audience. The baby would just have to wait. The combination of being nearly naked, hugely pregnant, singing incendiary lyrics and having the eyes of the world upon her was too much to resist.

Her whole life is basically a huge contradiction because she is 'rich' but pretends to be 'from the streets':

In one of many contradictions that seem to provide the narrative for Maya’s life and art, Ikhyd was not, as she had repeatedly announced he would be, born at home in a pool of water. As usual, she wanted to transform her personal life into a political statement. “You gotta embrace the pain, embrace the struggle,” she proclaimed weeks before Ikhyd was born. “And my giving birth is nothing when I think about all the people in Sri Lanka that have to give birth in a concentration camp.”

Made her seem like a bitch for eating olive bread:

Maya’s tirade, typical in the way it moved from the political to the personal and back again, was interrupted by a waiter, who offered her a variety of rolls. She chose the olive bread.

Went to a smart guy to explain how M.I.A. 'abused' the imagery of a Sri Lankan terrorist group:

In the press, Maya was labeled a terrorist sympathizer by some; others charged her with being unsophisticated about the politics of Sri Lanka. “People in exile tend to be more nationalistic,” Kadirgamar said. “And Maya took a very simplistic explanation of the problems between Sri Lanka’s Sinhalese government and the Tamils. It’s very unfair when you condemn one side of this conflict. The Tigers were killing people, and the government was killing people. It was a brutal war, and M.I.A. had a role in putting the Tigers on the map. She doesn’t seem to know the complexity of what these groups do.”

Srsly. She made the situation in Sri Lanka even worse. She doesn't even know what she is talking abt.

Her rhetoric rankles Sri Lankan experts and human rights organizations, who are engaged in the difficult task of helping to forge a viable model for national unity after decades of bitter fighting. “Maya is a talented artist,” Kadirgamar told me, echoing the sentiments of others, “but she only made the situation worse. What happened in Sri Lanka was not a genocide. To not be honest about that or the Tigers does more damage than good. When Maya does a polarizing interview, it doesn’t help the cause of justice.”

Made sure to make her seem like a 'contrived bitch.'

“All of what I’m wearing is American,” Maya said. “If I was a terrorist, I wouldn’t be wearing American clothing.” She paused. This may have been a joke, but Maya rarely laughs. She speaks carefully, slowly, with a kind of deadpan delivery. Like a trained politician, she stays on message. It’s hard to know if she believes everything she says or if she knows that a loud noise will always attract a crowd.

She is a hypocrite, yall.

What Maya wants is nearly impossible to achieve: she wants to balance outrageous political statements with a luxe lifestyle; to be supersuccessful yet remain controversial; for style to merge with substance.

Called 'bullshit' on the status of her father:

Her father remained in Sri Lanka (whenever they saw each other, he was introduced to Maya as her uncle, so that the children wouldn’t inadvertently reveal his identity). Maya claims that she has not seen him in years. Diplo told me a different story. “I met her dad in London with her,” he said. “He was very interested in sustainable living and was teaching in London. But he wasn’t a good father.” Whatever the truth is, Maya has gone from trumpeting her father’s revolutionary past in order to claim that lineage to playing down his politics to support a separate narrative. “He was with the Sri Lankan government,” she now maintained, when I saw her in Los Angeles. “He’s been with them for 20 years. They just made up the fact that he is a Tiger so they can talk crap about me.” (Her father could not be reached for comment.)

M.I.A.'s husband hates Diplo because he was a better lover, doesn't let Diplo into their home studio:

Diplo wasn’t allowed to work at the house (“Her boyfriend really hates me,” he said)

Threw in a Gaga bash just 4 shits:

Maya feels that Gaga is not original, that she mostly borrows from the Abba playbook, and she gets annoyed when Gaga is compared to Madonna. “You can’t really say that Gaga is culturally a change,” Maya said. “Madonna was truly unique.” Gavras nodded. “And Madonna was pretty,” he said. “Pop stars should be pretty.” Maya flipped open her computer. “Do you want to see this amazing parody of ‘Telephone’?” she asked. “It’s brilliant!” Gavras stood behind Maya and watched. “This parody has three million hits,” Maya said. “That’s way more than I’ve ever had.”

Do u think M.I.A. is 'bat shit crazy'?
Do u feel bad for Lynn Hirschberg for getting her phone number 'trolled out'?
Is M.I.A. 'inauthentic'?
Will M.I.A.'s album 'swirl down the shitter'?
Will Pitchfork be forced to 'stand up for M.I.A.' since she took over their twitter for a day to promote the "Born Free" video?
WIll writers be 'afraid' 2 write negative press about M.I.A.?
Is M.I.A. 'the blogosphere's #1 meme generating artist'?
Do yall feel excited that indie music coverage is starting to get 'really scathing/troll-like' and more interesting than just writing about how awesome every artist in the world is?
Did u call our homegirl Lynn just to say 'sup'?
Can M.I.A. be sued?
Is M.I.A. a bad person?
Is M.I.A. just a 'rich, entitled' fame whore?
Does M.I.A. know 'exactly what she is doing'?
Do u feel like M.I.A. has an inferiority complex regarding white women + white pop stars?


Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Pitchfork writes article about the brilliance/shittiness of HIPSTER RUNOFF

Pitchfork Media is a popular music website which as evolved into the most influential music media outlet in the modern world. The site is famous for reviewing albums. Recently, it wrote some article about Irony and the State of the Music Scene. The article kinda mentioned stuff about LCD Soundsystem and James Murphy, and talked about some other stuff, probably dropping metaphors, similies, and other journalistic tools.

Eventually, the article 'got to the good stuff' and started talking about HIPSTER RUNOFF, a popular weblog:

This idea of knowingness, though-- our relationship with it can get complicated. Right now, one of the internet's most successful bastions of knowingness is a blog called Hipster Runoff, a performance that's almost nothing but knowing: It shrugs, it takes an arch, pseudo-scientific tone, it puts every other word in scare quotes. Here you go, it seems to say: Here is your weird market of hipness and cool. The end. You can take it as withering satire, if you want to, because its skewers are dead on target. Of course, if its pseudonymous author really thought the market of cool were that pointless and vacuous, why spend so much time thinking about it-- why know it well enough to be savvy? It's not so much a satire as a whole performance of knowingness. And even if I don't often have the stomach for it, I can't pretend the performance isn't an immaculate one: it's knowingness raised to the level of poetry, free of the burden of "intent" or sincerity or any point beyond what the reader reflects out of it. It goes beyond "the author is dead" and turns the author into some kind of zombie.

Not even sure what the message of the article is about, just feeling 'incredibly culturally relevant' after reading the HRO blog name in Pitchfork. Feel like a bro in the 1970s who got blurbed about in Rolling Stone Magazine. So many buzzbands try their best to be analyzed / reviewed / blurbed / memed by Pitchfork, but I am just a blog, dropping memes, and I 'made it.'

Can n e 1 read this article and tell me what it is abt? Got super confused, like it might be too 'high level' for me, like writing that belongs in a book or magazine--not on the internet.

The article continues, then mentions HRO again in a closing paragraph:

Hipster Runoff uses the internet to make the old knowingness into performance art.

Kept scanning the page everywhere searching 4 a 'rating.' From what I understand, Pitchfork is famous for giving ratings, so feeling disappointed that I didn't get a 10.0. Not even a 1.0.

Do u know what this article is about? Something about irony and knowingness?
Is 'knowingness' a real word? Spell checker kinda freaking out on it, saying it doesn't exist.

Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'performance art'?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'an mp3 blog'?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'another blog that is a slave to indie artists / the blogosphere'?
Do u 'get' HRO?
Has HRO 'gone down the shitter' recently?
Is HRO 'better than ever?
Is the Alt Report better than HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is the Alt Report Robot better / more influential than Carles?
Is HRO 'in bed' with Pitchfork Media?
Is Pitchfork/HRO 'killing' the music blogosphere?
What is the best music/mp3 blog on the internet right now?
What is the worst music/mp3 blog on the internet right now?

NYTimes writes article about Christian counseling 4 female porn addicts, includes photo of hipster porn addict

I don't think this post is even really that relevant. The NY Times wrote an article about female pornography addiction counseling. I don't think they really 'care about' porn addiction like it is a real problem, but it seems like something that could get a lot of hits, since it involves religion, females, and pornography. It also really helped that they had a photo of an entry-level alt girl as the physical representation of female porn addiction. Do u think she uses her keffiyeh as a cum rag?

I wonder if the journalist who wrote this had 'a laugh riot' when he/she attended one of these counseling sessions. Seems like it must have been crazy to go 2 Kansas 2 see this go down:

LENEXA, Kan. — It was the final session for the women at Westside Family Church’s Victory Over Porn Addiction group, and the youngest member, a 17-year-old named Kelsie, had not had a good week.

“I slipped two nights this week,” she said, to nods of support from the other women in the group.

“I decided that every time I’m tempted I’ll just let everything out to God,” she said, “then pray specifically for someone else, do selfless acts, to get away from being selfish.”

Damn. R u a Christian?
Do u watch porn?
How do u know if you are addicted to porn?

For the graduation ceremony, Ms. Renaud passed out balloons and asked the group to write down the things they were giving up. Out came the bad stuff: Porn, Masturbation, Lustful Thinking, Cutting, Feeling Useless, Dad’s Bad Choices, Self-Gratification, Self-Mutilation, Unhealthy Thoughts.

They finished by popping the balloons and hugging. Ms. Renaud allowed that the culture’s forces were against them.

“This group should be much larger, but they’re afraid to come forward,” she said. Even after seven years without pornography, she told the group, looking at it too long it might attract her. Recently, she said, she watched “Titanic,” including the nude scene, without a relapse.

Is this 'kinda like a Daily Show segment' except in written format?
Have u ever masturbated to the nude scene in Titanic?
What's the most amount of times u masturbated in 1 day?
R u addicted to porn?
Have u ever written all of ur problems on a balloon, then popped it to metaphorically represent 'overcoming' personal demons / problems?

Are all entry level alt girls from Kansas addicted 2 porn?
Can God help u get over any addiction?

NYTimes does ‘humanizing’ profile piece on the bros in MGMT

Since the NYTimes is the ultimate blog aggregator, they were forced to cover the hit buzzband MGMT, who will soon release their leaked album Congratulations. I am not sure if they had some sort of agenda with this article, but I think it was sort of just a 'mailed in' profile piece about young people in a band maturing. Maybe the metaphorical equivalent of 'moving from Brooklyn to Manhattan' to 'grow up & get serious about life'

I think the article brands the two MGMT bros as being 'mavericks' who only care about being artists, and not pleasing the masses. They are aware that they 'peaked' in college when writing "KIDS":

“It’s like the only songs we have that have really been noticed on widespread levels are songs that we wrote in college,” he fretted.

Mr. VanWyngarden piled on. “We should really be listening to, like, the masses,” he said, “instead of making an album that no one is going to like.”

The NYTimes also asked an MTV Vice President for his opinion, because he probs knows a lot abt music + the music industry + buzzbands. Prob chills at tons of industry parties and hands business cards 2 buzzbands:

“There was an incredible amount of curiosity for this album,” said Joe Cuello, a vice president at MTV. “We were all waiting for the prerelease from the label and sat down and listened to the whole thing in my office when we got it.” Their response was that the record was “challenging,” said Mr. Cuello, who oversees music licensing for MTV shows. “They’re certainly asking for something from their audience, an investment and a perspective that doesn’t fit the marketplace completely.”

They talked about how the album wasn't critically accepted, so they had to re-brand the whole album as a "grower" and try to make it seem like this was really MGMT's artistic vision:

But the response has recently shifted as more people have heard the album, and as the label’s marketing campaign, which urges listeners to take it as a whole and spend some time with it, has sunk in. “Congratulations” is now categorized as a grower, earning praise for its bravery if not always its artistry. (Mr. Cuello said that after considering it, he was a fan.) Whether it will sell is another question.

“Different’s not bad,” said Steve Barnett, the chairman of Columbia Records. Asked if the album was commercial, Mr. Barnett said: “Listen, I think Andrew and Ben are very smart, creative guys, and I think they understand the right path that MGMT should take, and from our perspective we’re happy to support that. Sometimes I think we have to sit down and talk to them about consequences — if you do this this way, this is going to happen — and we’ve had that conversation. And at the end of the day I think their approach is really refreshing, where art leads, and commerce follows.”

Wonder if some1's head is gonna 'roll' at Columbia Records if this album flops hard.

Really enjoyed this paragraph where they tried to describe the essence/personal brands of the MGMT bros utilizing architecture + fashion:

Though the duo spent their early 20s living as any young transplants to Brooklyn do — giving and going to loft parties and goofing off, amping it up when they became successful, cavorting with groupies and acting debaucherous — now they seem rather sedate. Mr. Goldwasser recently moved from an apartment with roommates in Bushwick, Brooklyn, to a one-bedroom in Lower Manhattan with his girlfriend so that her commute to dental school in New Jersey could be shorter. Mr. VanWyngarden is a furniture and design buff, and his apartment is expensively and eclectically decorated, with a zebra-skin rug and point-of-conversation art (some of it scavenged from the street). Across from the vintage brown leather sofa in the living room is a wooden sleigh bed covered with throw pillows. Beside surfing books are copies of the magazine Art in America and the I Ching. In a plaid shirt and Doc Martens (Mr. VanWyngarden) and a gray hoodie and jeans (Mr. Goldwasser), neither would pass for rock stars. They barely pass for hipsters. They seem more like bookstore employees, and not even the judgmental kind.

The journalist probably asked them the entry level question 'r u hipsters' so that he could produce this quotable, made to get 'tons of hipster blog headlines':

“We’re like yuppie Brooklyners,” Mr. Goldwasser said. Mr. VanWyngarden listed his nonhipster credentials: “I don’t blog. I don’t have an iPhone. I’ve never done cocaine.”

So many great blurbs. Here is the part where they talk about how they snubbed tons of mainstream artists who wanted to work with them. Does this make u respect them more?

At the height of their popularity, they said, they were inundated with requests to work with major artists but declined. “We said no to Coldplay, U2, Lady Gaga, Pink, Radiohead, Stone Temple Pilots,” Mr. VanWyngarden said. “It’s not a judgment on them. We didn’t feel comfortable opening up for them.”

They did agree to a collaboration with Jay-Z for his album “The Blueprint 3.”

“We talked to him on speaker phone, and he’s like: ‘I want you to do whatever you guys want. Do your MGMT thing,’ ” Mr. Goldwasser said. “I think he was eating crackers or something.”

They eschewed the beats that Jay-Z’s camp sent over and made their own, a “vampire-pipe-organ, chromatically descending, really weird beat,” Mr. Goldwasser said. Jay-Z, they said, responded by asking them only to sing on the track’s chorus. They passed.

Does this make u say, "wow. they told Jay-Z to go fuck himself. Gotta give em props for saying screw u." I feel like I kinda do, only because I think that rappers are just looking to hijack anything that is mildly cool just to build their personal brands. Not really into rappers.

Did u read this article?
Did it help u to relate to the band?
Do u feel like u 'get' MGMT now?
Are they just two bros trying to grow up and be in a buzzband at the same time?
Are the MGMT bros playing some sort of Joaquin Phoenix type of practical joke, and the Columbia Records PR department is just trying to 'cover up the biggest mess' in the history of mainstream indie record releases?
Were the bros "off message" during this interview (and pissing off their PR team to be rebellious etc) or does their Sony/PR team just have no idea how ________ they sound?
Did MGMT create a 'cult classic' or will this album just be forgotten?
Did MGMT create the greatest record of all time?
Is MGMT the ultimate indie band?

Do u feel pissed that MGMT had the forum, the funding and the technical ability to create one of the most important albums of all time, but treated it like it was some sort of joke, totally afraid of 'taking on the beast'? Maybe this is why Animal Collective is 'unconditionally loved' even if they make something that is too weird/unapproachable.

NYMag does profile piece on Solange Knowles, tries to make her sound like a ‘real indie artist’

Solange Knowles is the little sister of Beyonce Knowles who is trying to 'make it' as an indie artist. She is unlikely to have a credible career in the same genre/path as her sister, so she has had to 'go alt' to carve out an authentic path that she probably finds fulfilling / allows her to create her own identity.

NYMag did some sort of 'puff piece' / 'profile piece' about her existence / career / evolution from failed mainstream to indie schmoozing artist.

In February, Solange performed live with Dirty Projectors for the first time, at an Ace Hotel party populated by all manner of cool people (Spike Jonze, Jason Schwartzman, Terry Richardson, Donald Glover, Michael Stipe … ). They did Solange’s version of “Stillness Is the Move,” with Dave Longstreth head-bopping while playing the “Bumpy’s Lament” riff, then segued into Groove Theory’s 1995 hit “Tell Me” (Solange’s pick). She had only practiced with the band once, a few hours earlier in her hotel suite, and says she stumbled over her cue: “I was supposed to come out way later, but I couldn’t hear shit. It was awkward. I just started dancing.” The crowd certainly couldn’t tell, roaring their approval for the surprise guest spot. (Justin Theroux seemed to be particularly into it.) Afterward, Solange D.J.’d the rest of the event, then continued the party upstairs in her room along with Dirty Projectors.

Does this music journalism make u feel like 'u were there' witnessing this special event?
Will Solange 'make it' as an indie artist?
Will Solange become a high level alternative celebrity, or is she going to become the African American female version of Jared Leto?
Whatever happened 2 the Dirty Projectors?

Solange also tried to explain what her new album will sound like by declaring that white indie artists 'stole' music from black people:

“You have Vampire Weekend who have more African references musically than most African-American artists,” Solange says, by way of explanation. “As soon as I heard the Dirty Projectors song, it sounded like an R&B song. That happens when I listen to Of Montreal — I can hear so much funk shit that I grew up listening to … There’s so many different musical references in everything now that it just makes sense to take advantage of this moment.” She adds, laughing, “The white kids aren’t going to jack our style anymore! We’re taking it back!”

Do yall miss classic music journalism that tries 2 brand artists as being 'cool', 'up-and-coming', or 'buzzworthy'?
Is Solange going to 'make it' and get a 7.0-9.0 on pitchfork?
Is Solange Knowles the next Zooey Deschanel?
Is indie music born from African American music?
Did the human race really start in Africa?

Solange Knowles

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Solange Knowles is Beyonce's little sister. She is trying 2 appeal to alt audiences.

Read more>>>>

Are media outlets abusing the word ‘Hipster’ in headlines 2 get hits?

In the linked article, the writer bro discusses how the word 'hipster' doesn't really mean anything, but can be used as an interesting / generalized term 4 'young people.' From what I understand, putting 'hipster' in a blog subject or newspaper headline can make a story 30-50% more interesting. As opposed to saying 'young ppl', 'hipster' provides a more compelling angle.

Why? Because media outlets have learned that anything with the word "hipster" in it is a pretty great ingredient in the murky dark potion-making of SEO, or search engine optimization, as evidenced by the rising number of search queries above. Long story short, news outlets (present company included) figured out over the last year or two that using words in headlines that people are more likely to search is better for their business than a great headline without those magical words. And one of those magical words is "hipsters."

The article uses Google Trends to demonstrate that people searching 4 'hipster' is at an all time high. This is probably tweens learning how to use bing to find out about new trends.

Is n e 1 under the age of 30 a 'hipster'?

Do yall like reading articles about 'hipsters'?
Do yall like reading blogs about 'hipsters'?
Do meme blogs abuse the term 'hipster'?
R u a hipstar?
Is the mainstream media / large blog outlets abusing the term 'hipster'?
Will tweens evolve into 'hipsters' or will they get their own genre of human?

ABC News does puff piece segment on juggalos + horrorcore.


In order to educate upperclass Middle America about juggalo and horrorcore culture, ABC News did some piece where they basically listed all of the murders that self-proclaimed juggalos have committed, explained the violent content of horrorcore music, interview a police officer from a rural white town who deals with horrorcore murders, then they interview the Insane Clown Posse while they are wearing make up.

Wonder if we should send Insane Clown Posse to jail because they encourage people 2 kill other people in violent ways. Not sure if poor white people are 'educated' enough to understand what human life really means. It seems like all they really care about is listening to rap where artists talk about murder, cutting up the dead body, then having sex with the chopped up dead body.

Wonder what it is like to be in a juggalo buzzband. It seems like they probably make a lot of money off poor whites who still buy CDs. Might try to become a relevant horrorcore artist instead of trying to break into the internet indie chillwave game.

The interviewer, Martin Bashir, seems to have really 'fallen' since he did high level Michael Jackson interviews.

If u could interview a juggalo, what would u ask them?
Do yall think Middle America is worried that a juggalo will murder them?
Do u remember the time when juggalos wanted to murder Carles for calling them less than human?
Is Horrorcore bad for society/humanity?
Should I transition my brand into juggalo wave?

Will MTV create a new show similar to 'Jersey Shore' except about Juggalos?

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