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WES ANDERSON CHARACTER COSTUMES: THE DEAD END OF HALLOWEEN CIVILIZATION

Photos by Tenenbaumfail


Maybe it's time
to retire the Wes Anderson film character costumes
It's ovr.
When was the last time Wes Anderson made a movie that resonated with modern society?
Maybe we have evolved beyond the indie era
and u r compromising ur authentic personal brand
by dressing like a Tenenbaum
a Max Fisher
A #TeamZissou
A Darjeeleng

Don't care if u had to go 2 a couples costume partie

It's time 2 retire
the Wes Anderson film-based costumes
It's time to get serious abt life
stop pretending u r in an indie movie

Ur life is for real
ur never going to be a character in a film
Stop living in an effing dream world
ur never going 2 slit ur wrists [via suicide]

Ur a mexi
Ur not even white
Jesus Christ
Cmon bro

We get it
ur alt
and u watch indie films
but just that vibe really doesn't resonate ne more

Also, ur AZN

Ur not the white/Jewish Max Fisher
Ur not in HS
Ur not a tragic overachiever
ur an underachiever
Forgettable, lazy, mediocre
Ur not interested in anything
and ur not interesting

Ur not as pretty as Gwyneth Paltrow
or else u would be married to the coldplay bro
I don't think u r a talented, yet cunty woman
ur just an effing hollow broad with no feelings

But I do endorse the concept of the female costume that is
[ANYTHING] + [SLUTTY] + [TITTIES HANGING OUT] = great costume

R u addicted 2 drugs?
Do u want to be part of a brilliant family?
Escape from ur middle class past
ascend into 'tragic greatness'?

Did any1 even like the Darjy Limited
or was every1 'over it'

Not sure why any1 would want to go to India
Seems like there's a lot of ppl there
when there are so many ppl
it is hard 2 be an individual

Sorta just wish I had an azn sidekick
to integrate into my costume :-(

Would rather be Chill Murray [link]
than a second rate Bill Murray character

Never forget the time I saw 'Life Aquatic' in theatres
and was 'pissed' that it wasn't Rushmore/Tenenbaums set underwater

Kinda wish u'd just chop off ur finger
so u could feel 'real pain'
Instead of ur 'seasonal depression'
or whatever u r medicated 4

yall seem like real bros

Feel like u might as well 'vote 4 pedro'
instead of being a Tananbaum

So many Tenenbaums
So many Lamestreamers

Miss u myspace era

Really feel like when it's all said and done
and the world ends
we will be able 2 say
that Napoleon Dynamite had a bigger cultural impact than the combined effect of Wes Anderson films

I guess maybe we're all just lamestreamers
deep inside
and we're trying to brand ourselves
to be authentic

Maybe Wes Anderson relied 2 much on 'characters'
and gimmicky sets + costumes
and the human fabric of his films
have withered away

It's time
It's been time
I'm sorrie
Good bye Richie
Margot
Ari
Uzbro
Royal
Danny 'I'm too old 4 this shit' Glover
Jase Schwartz
Owen Wils
Luke Wils
Pagoda
Bill Murray
Adrien Broski
Wes Bronderson

I'm sorrie
dead end of halloween costumlization

Is the Wes Anderson film costume gimmick evr going 2 die?
Will people still dress like Wes Anderson characters in 2k10?
Are Wes Anderson films transcendent of time?
Were Wes Anderson films ever meaningful, or did u 'always see thru them'?
R u an entry-level or a lamestreamer?
Is there a 'huge backlash' against the meaningful indie film boom of the 2k0s?

Gnite bros
See yall in the suburbs
growing old
and handing out tricks and treats 2 spoiled kids

Fly Mordecai...

Fly....

This is ALTERNATIVE HALLOWEEN WEEK on HIPSTER RUNOFF

DAY 1

Wes Anderson

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Wes Anderson is a popular indie filmmaker & director who directed the hit films Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tanenabombs, and Lost in Garden State.

Read more>>>>

I send my child to a school for the Performing Arts which specializes in creating kid memes that 'go viral.'

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I want the best for my son. I want him to be happy. I want him to go to a school where they teach him about important stuff in today's world. Last year, I enrolled him at the Meme Institute for Gifted Children. I don't care about math, science, and dated skills of the common man, driven to get you a desk job for the rest of your life. I want my son to be an artist, an internet entrepreneur. I want him to be part of a meme that 'changes the way' grownups think about how kids can go viral on the internet.

I will be most proud of my son when he creates a viral meme that gets over 1million hits and/or youtube views. I know he will never be a professional athlete, or a billionaire, but maybe he can find the sense of worth that I never found if he is part of a viral sensation that gives him a period of microfame for 1-2 weeks.

Want my son to reenact Scarface, using a pile of popcorn that represents a 'shitload of blow.'

My son needs to be smart, and understand what people want to see. What makes people laugh. How he can make mainstreamers all across the world say 'aww...that's so hilarious. LOL!' (then be inspired to share the link with others.

Enrolling my son in this gifted and talented program at the Meme Institute for Gifted Children has been the best thing that ever happened to him. He learns about marketing, business, the internet, computer programming, and participates in social media discussions. Many of the top advertising and branding firms in the world recruit directly out of the school. Even if he doesn't create something great on his own, I know he will get a job doing what he does best: getting attention on the internet + going viral.

Feel proud of my son for participating in this Scarface play. Most parents wouldn't 'get' why this performance was necessary, and even though it is cute, they would probably be calling for the Theatre Teacher to be immediately fired. At the Meme Institute, parents know that kids have to go above and beyond performing Shakespeare. If we really want our kids to go viral, they have to do something special / universally appealing.

Just want to go back in time to my youth, back when I watched Rushmore for the first time, then projected myself into Max Fischer's shoes, pretending I am some sort of jack-of-all trades quirky character at my high school.

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Wonder if plays will replace bands/concerts as the authentic alternative live experience for the 2k10s.

Is Scarface overrated? Is Scarface a shitty movie that mainstream bros glorify because of the drugs and violence?

Should I buy a Scarface poster for my dorm room to put right next to my Bob Marley 4-20 poster? Is Scarface the 'Dave Matthews Band' of movies?

Is Al Pacino an overrated dramatic actor?

Should I just 'drug up' my kid and keep him in an altered state until he does something 'funny' that goes viral?

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Really want this for him. More than I even wanted anything for myself.

When u have kids, will u be disappointed in them if they don't 'go viral'?
Do u want ur kids to be part of something special on the internet?
Should this production of Kids Scarface have used real cocaine instead of popcorn?
Was this viral marketing for a video game or something?
Should Obama pass a law protecting the rights of kids who 'go viral'?
Will u encourage ur child to try to be internet famous?

Where the Wild Bros Are Chilling [via Indie Rock Music Festivals]

Photo via stereogum


Recently, I saw the popular indie film Where The Wild Things Are after seeing it advertised on every media website/blog/tv channel that appeals 2 me. It changed my view of the world, and sort of made me want 2 'get back 2 basics', and 'become a child again', kinda like Animal Collective lyrics. I feel like the inside of me is just a lil boy, and I live in a world with tons of metaphorical monsters.

That's kinda why I decided 2 dress up like the lil boy, then attend a relevant music festival. It seemed appropriate, and I was able to give my Am Appy hoodie a 'second life.' It seems like ever since the altbro aesthetic died, most former altbros are trying to 'pick up the pieces' of their former personal brands, and trying 2 sculpt themselves into something modern/'real.'

I want to feel 'real' but I also kinda wanna be an 'escapist.' I feel like finding a popular movie character to mimic might 'bring me back 2 basics', kinda like the year of my life where I tried to be/think/act like Tyler Durden/ZBraff/miscellaneous Tenenbaum character.  I am a lil bit distant and dark, but there's also a lil bit of 'hope' in my brand.

What movie character would yall morph into?
Will u use Halloween 2k9 as an opportunity to 'morph' in2 some1 else?
Isn't it weird how we want 2 be 'more than human' now that we have already evolved from apes/chimpanzees/guerillas?

Do yall know if it is still alt 2 go 2 a music festival dressed as a Starship Trooper?

It seems like a storm trooper might have been relevant if u were going 2 woodstock, but now, it might mean that you are an 'old ass bro' from back then, or something.

Sorta feeling like I wish I could be any1 but myself right now. Wonder if the next decade will be all about 'escaping from urself' instead of trying to 'enhance urself.' Wonder if they are the same thing. :-(


Previous Where the Wild Alts Are

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/06/what-is-more-alt-where-the-wild-things-are-or-gooby.html

Srsly though...what are some good ideas 4 alt Halloween costumes?
Is PeeWee HermanAlt still a 'relevant' costume?

Or should I be a vintage ironic human meme from the Electro Era?

Miss u Australian Partie Bro Meme.

(Will probs just be a balloon boy meme costume 2 'get ppl talking.')

Is any1 else excited 2 see the indie sequel "Juno Pt 2"?

I was watching television, and I saw a trailer for the sequel to one of my favourite indie movies of all time. You might remember JUNO, a movie where Ellen Page gets knocked up by Michael Cera, then she sells her baby to Jennifer Garner. But this time, the main character Juno 'grows up a lil bit more' and has to deal with her alternative brand fitting in with a mainstream society.

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I feel happy for Ellen Page--she will no longer be typecasted as 'play a snarky lil teenage girl who wants a more meaningful life.' This role will really elevate her to the next level, possibly making her one of the biggest superstars in the indie world since Natty Portmans. This movie will be a huge hit, striking a chord with the butch failed-alt 30+ roller derby female demographic. Most of these women are 'longing 2 b a part of something' so rollerderby becomes something that they are 'passionate' about so that they can take out their frustrations about life/the scene/growing older/regrettable tattoos through physical aggression.

I think these same women work at places like burrito restaurants, coffee shops that play death metal, and dive bars, so they will probably 'get the word out' about this kewl new movie via the words of their moufs.

I am proud of Drew Barrymore for making her directorial debut in this 'indie film.' I think she has dated tons of indie bros like the Mac Guy, Spike Jonez and Tom Greens, so I think this makes her a qualified director for the indie aesthetic. If I had to put money on it, I would definitively say that this movie will be a 'diamond in the rough' underdog type of movie that will go on to win multiple Oscars.

Hope that it makes money, and gets tons of 'twitter buzz' and 'viral mrktng.'

Seems like it has a 'very questionable' marketing campaign.

I feel sad that indie movies don't have huge marketing budgets, so the stars of the film must literally 'whore themselves out' by performing meme-able sex acts in mainstream magazines.

Not sure if Juno Pt2 is gonna 'bomb.'

I think that sequels are usually kinda kewl, but sometimes u can tell that the story just needed to end after part one. Some movie franchises work and make tons of money, but this is certainly an interesting experiment, since no indie movie has created a sequel. Kinda wish we could catch up with Zach Braff in Garden State Pt 2: Trapped in New Jersey. Or possible Lil Miss Sunshine Pt 2: The Muder-Suicide of Greg Kinnear, Steve Carrell, and Paul Dano. Maybe even Milk Pt 2: Harvey's Revenge. Possibly a sequel to the Royal Tenenbaums.

Are sequels good ideas, or are they trying too hard to make money?
What sequels to independent movies would u pitch?
Should I join a roller derby league?


Previous HRO posts

Drewbarrymore is a mainstreamer who dates alts
/// Weak post about Juno by HRO circa 2k7

Spoiler Alert:

Juno's aborted baby comes back 2 life and defeats her team in the Roller Derby Finals.

Attempting to Understand Twilight without ‘actually reading it.’


It's kinda weird when some thing becomes a 'phenomenon' and u don't even really 'realize it', kinda like how all of a sudden the Kings of Leon were the new Nickelback. Then u sort of have to 'do a lot of googling' to figure out how/why something became 'culturally relevant' within mainstream tween consumer society. Kinda like High School Musical/Jonas Brothers/SpongeBob Square Pants/Pogs/TickleMeElmo, etc. It's just like 'damn... who are the people consuming this stuff?' Feel most alive when I am trying to understand 'WHY' something is popular.

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//////Carles will attempt
////// to 'understand' Twilight
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From what I understand, Twilight was a 'book', but then became 'a movie series.' I think most successful books are not really '1 book', but a series of books. Not sure if that is because of Lord of the Rings, or Chronicles of Narnia, or for some other reason. Think that in our modern world, ppl want to 'connect with a series.' Don't just want a 'one and done' experience. Also think that books/movies in 'series format' are 'more marketable.' You can make 'mad bank' off a 3 part series, and keep building a franchise with what seems like 'natural' buzz.

Here are the book covers. The artwork 'seems very shitty' but also like something 'very branded.' Like something that you see 'every1 in ur local highschool' reading and talking about.

N e ways... Twilight was written by some broad named Stephenie Meyer. She is apparently Mormon. She looks like this.

As you can see, she is 'sorta chubby, yet confident.' This personal brand is critical in establishing Twilight's 'niche.' Twilight is apparently about some Vampire bro, or something, and this regular girl falls in love with him. I think it is supposed to be 'somewhat sexual', but also romantic. I think it is supposed to tap into 'the lonely teenage girl' demographic.' U must understand that the story of Twilight are the dreams/subconscious desires of this 'pleasantly plump, mildly pretty, sweet heart' of a woman.

It's weird to think that 'kids/teens actually read books' still. I feel like cliched 'good parents' have to encourage their kids to 'read' even though the modern 'literary landscape' is probably 'pretty terrible.' Don't have 'first hand knowledge', but I would just imagine that every is trying to become 'the next Harry Potter' or something, or possibly 'the next Devil Wears Prada.' Seems like books are probably 'fucking garbage', particularly in the teen/tween market.

I'm not sure how I feel about 'reading.' Feel like it is something to do when you are in elementary+middle+high school, but you can build a 'more rewarding intellectual life' build around social media + blogs + the internet + the NYTimes. Unless you are reading 'really good books' that are probably from a long time ago, seems 'not worth it' to even bother reading 'a NY Times best seller' or some other gimmick book. Feel like my brain can only really handle 'a wikipedia entry about a book' as opposed to 'actually reading the book.'

Just funnie to imagine a female whose parents 'don't let her date' and 'are pressuring her to go to a good, yet affordable university' finding some sort of 'dream world' within these books. One where love 'seems real', but is also 'just 4 fun' since it is with a Vampire bro, or something. Feel like while these parents are 'raising a good kid', they are also probably 'buttering them up' to be 'mediocre' and never really 'get' important 'global concepts.' Sort of like being 'lazy parents' when it comes to 'letting them fit in' but at the same time, emphasizing 'positive stuff' like reading, participation in 'the arts/community/team sports', and other 'stupid shit.'

Seems easier to raise a bro than some girl.

n e ways... think that Twilight is trying 2 tap into this 'lonely girl' zeitgeist. Think that lonely girls 'chill on the internet' but also have 'an internet curfew.'

I guess 'being a movie' is helpful in creating an opportunity where 'being a Twilight fan' is something that girls can 'be a part of.' Sorta like how bros are into sports, I think girls are eager to prove that they have 'something of their own' and often get 'too into it' or something.

Think it is also important that they have a 'hot bro' who is the main vampire. Not sure if he is 'hot.' Seems like a teenager who 'just started to learn how to use a hard cock', and has a face of 'being over eager to stick it into some tight lil teen pussy.'

I think the lead girl in the movie, Kristen Stewart, is supposed to be 'edgy.' Like sorta alt, but pretty mainstream. I think that she is the embodiment of how 'fat girls think that they look' when they put on a ton of makeup + eye liner + have a sexie gaze into the camera.

Think that this greasy teen bro is also in it. Not sure what he does/what the story line is, but he is possibly supposed to be a heart throb.

Twilight has also 'branded itself' with the type of music that the band PARAMORE makes. I feel like 'lonely girls' think that this type of music is the only art that can express their sense of darkness+hope. The lead singer is a female, and she also 'dyes her hair zany colors', so I think that is something that sheltered girls do to 'express themselves' while still 'promising to make all A's in school.'

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Can't believe this book series is 'culturally relevant.' Think it is one of those things where it is an 'interesting topic' so you'll get 'mad hits' if you cover it, and before you know it, every outlet 'feels pressure' to cover it. I'll bet the book 'reads really easily' or something, so it doesn't isolate teens who have a low reading level. Guess it is just important to 'understand ur audience' so that u can write words + stories that they relate 2.

Maybe everything is the same. Maybe we're all the same.

Does n e 1 know if this book is good?
Are vampire bros capable of 'loving' or do they 'just wanna fuck'?
Should I read Harry Potter?
What book represents U?
When people read a 'popular book' and tell u it is 'actually really good', do u tell them that they need to 'grow the fuck up'?

Wonder if Twilight is the new Catcher in the Cradle (Fight Club--A Seppy Peace).

Feeling sad that this movie was made 4 me. h8 the economy. h8 my ‘worthless college degree.’

I recently saw this movie trailer, and it felt like 'God' had decided 2 'make a movie abt my life.'

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Recently, I graduated from a Top 20 university with a liberal arts degree. I was hoping to get a very good job after attending a prestigious school and getting meaningful life experience in a dormitory setting. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. I ended up moving back in with my parents, and started to sexually experiment with 'people who were losers in high school and just stayed at home.'

I was s00 confused...like I thought I was on the 'fast track' 2 'being rich & happy.' However, I was 'just another brick in the wall' of the American economy, and I didn't really have any 'real skills.' Sorta just wish I could get paid 2 'be myself' and 'share my musings' on current events (in 140 characters or less).

Just really starting to learn who I am, and how 2 'find happiness' in this world. Guess maybe I should just 'surround myself with ppl who love me' and things will 'be alright.' Sorta wish there was a 'foreign man' who lived across the street from me who could share his knowledge/cock with me. I wonder if life really is meaningful, yall. Maybe I'll know more abt life when I 'find a real job.'

Sad that my life may not actually be what I thought it would be. This is a movie about 'settling' for less. Sorta like 'a more realistic version of The Devil Wears Prada' for the type who would see this kind of movie.

Previous Job Coverage


http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/05/my-jobcareer-does-not-align-with-my-true-personal-brand.html

What did u major in?

AZN + Michael Cera = True Love?

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I saw this movie, PAPER HEART, and I think it is supposed to be a 'documentary' about an AZN who 'isn't very pretty, but has a good heart.' She doesn't believe in love, and she doesn't even believe in indie-love [via Garden State]. She travels around the USA, talking to 'smart people' and the new generation of 'actors who play themselves' in sillie comedies, and ask them things about love. Went to the 'official website' 2 see what it was all about, and it has a free spirited description

I think it is supposed to be some sort of 'concept movie' where the 'lines of reality are blurred' or something. Like it is supposed to look like a 'documentary' but then 'get all zany and meaningful.' The AZN eventually 'falls in love' with Michael Cera, who has become this generation's version of 'a bro who has fans who admire him for being the same bro in the movies that he might be in real life.' Seriously feel like Michael Cera 'actually was' in movies like Juno, Superbad, and that 1 movie about 2 indie kids falling in love in the city.

I think that Michael Cera is also in a movie with the 'ogre/twit' from the movie 'The School of Rock and Rolling'--a film where tweens come together to make a rocknroll band.

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Not even sure if he is 'a good fit' for that kind of movie. Should have probably had 'a black person' who was a comedian, or something like that.

Feel like Michael Cera represents a woman's desire to 'settle' for a guy who isn't handsome, but might be quirky, and allegedly 'funnie'. He will do things for you like 'make you a mix tape on an actual tape' even though you don't have a cassette player, and 'bring u shitty gifts' that u are able to consider 'meaningful.' Guess that might be why general bros h8 him--general bros are not willing to 'be comfortable with who they are' enough to find some sort of happiness with a girl who is clearly 'settling for u.' Both parties in the relationship share mutually resentful feelings towards one another because they both feel like they are 'settling.' Seems 'very hard' 2 be happie.

When girls 'defend' Michael Cera, what does it mean about their personal brands?
When bros 'attack' Michael Cera, what does it mean about their personal brands?
Is Michael Cera the next ______?
Do u really believe that Michael Cera would go out with that AZN, or would he go out with 1 of the 'hot ass' indie azns?
Do girls 'just wanna ride cock' on 'hot bros'?
Do bros 'just wanna stick it in wet, warm vaginas'?
Trying 2 figure out <3... might see 'paper heart.'

What is more Alt: Where the Wild Things Are OR Gooby?

I think that this summer is supposed to be all about 'getting back to nature' and accepting the fact that there are monsters in the wilderness, or something. Maybe the monsters are some sort of 'metaphor' for what is inside of us.

I recently saw the trailer for the hit film GOOBY, and wondered if it was supposed to overshadow Spike Jonze's new film Where the Wild Bros Are.

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I think it might be trying to appeal to alternative audiences. Not sure which monster/creature movie I will support.

Who would I rather chill with?
Gooby?

Or 'a wild thing'?

Not sure who I should chill with. Think that 'Wild Things' are already a timeless lifestyle brand. Like the Beatles of creatures, or something. I think that WildThingAlts might already exist.

Wouldn't mind 'doing it' with this broad/sharing some milk with her.

Photo by lastnightsparty

Might listen to bangers with this WildAltBro.

Photo by thefriendattack

But Gooby seems like a bro who you could just blaze with, and chill pretty hard.

Probably could just warm up some DiGiorno/Freschetta/Tombstone pizzas, but some Ben & Jerry's, lite up some bowls, and just 'get fucking ripped', then laugh all night watching episodes of The Office. U would just kinda fall asleep without even realizing it, then wake up, smoke some dank, then go to McDonalds for McGriddles, then possibly spend all day playing frisbee golf.

Not sure if I should 'partie' with Wild Things Bros, or just try to be a GoobyBro. Not sure 'what my monster brand' is.

Previous Wild Things coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/where-the-wild-things-are

Some new film by Francis Ford Coppola

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Yall have probably heard of independent film director Sofia Coppola, who directed some of the best indie films of all time including Lost in Translation and the Virgin Suicides. What you don't know is that she has a father who is attempting to break into the movie industry. His name is Francis Ford Coppola. In his debut film Tetro, he casts authentic indie actor Vincent Gallo to play some bro who is just chillin out and being authentic. I think that the film is in black and white to try to win an Oscar, which is a tactic used by Stephan Spielbergher in the hit film Schindler's List of Bros Who Just Wanted to Live a Chill Life.

Not sure how films work since I am not a film student, but I think that this film uses old French techniques that were used to make things seem very authentic. Not sure what they are called.

does n e1 else think that Vinny Gallo is 'a genius'? Wonder what male I'd cast if I had to make a movie starring an authentic bro? Tom Hanks? Bob Downey Jr? Zach Braff? Mickey Rourke? Bruce Willis? Adrien Brody? John Heder? Mikey Cera?

Seems like he has an authentic jaw line.

Well yall... I hope that Francis Ford can live up to the high standards of his daughter Sofia. I am afraid that this is just another case of a parent riding his child's coat tails to fame, much like Lindsay Lohan's parents.


I condemn all parents who are trying to exploit the success and talents of their children. All I want is for every child to be given a fair shot at a normal life. This is a post about parenting

I feel confused about Woody Allen directing the Curb Your Enthusiasm movie.


Yall. I saw the preview for the new movie with the CurbYallsEnthusiasm guy, and I feel really confused. Why did they need to bring Woody Allen on board? I feel like the Larry David comedy formula was just fine as it is. Even though Woody Allen has branded himself as 'being authentic' and 'from New York', I just don't really relate to him. Maybe I'm not old enough. Does n e 1 know if his movies are good? I heard he has some movie called ANNIE HALL or something. Does n e 1 know why I should try 2 relate 2 Woody Allen?

Going to watch the trailer then 'react'

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Feel like it might be one of those films that is about old people 'searching for happiness' or something. Makes me scared to get old. Might need to make a 'Bucket List' or something of things I want 2 do before I 'kick the bucket.' Feel scared about getting old, but still having my 'zany, snarky' perspective on life. Hope I am a quirky old person, like the Larry David brand. Sort of wish Seinfeld was still on the air. Remember sitcoms back b4 people were into hour long dramas/crime scene bullshit / mystery shit like "Lost" / shittie comedies like THE OFFICE?

miss the past, yall.

But srsly yall... Just made this post 2 say that I h8 Woody Allen. I read on a blog that American Appy had 2 pay him $5 million dollars ($US) for using his image on one of their billboards. As a blogger who has been funded by Am Appy progressive advertisements, I feel like this is 'fucking bull shit.'

I have done more for the Am Appy brand than Woody Allen did for having his image used on 1 of their billboards. Sort of wish Am Appy gave me $5 million in banner ads or something. Feel like Woody Allen is spoiled for not know what it means 2 have Am Appy select you as a 'cobranding partner.' Having Am Appy banners on ur webspace is a privilege, not a right.

But then again Woody Allen was 1 of the first ppl to 'buy an AZN.'

I think this movie is supposed 2 appeal 2 me since I am alt and see the world in a quirky way.

Yall. I was at the movie theatre seeing 'Star Trek Wolverine Bro' or something, and I saw this indie movie poster.

At first I thought it was some sort of advertisement for an NBC spinoff show since it had a worker from The Office and another classic 'unfunny' broad from Saturday Night Living.

Then I saw the trailer. I think it has a lot of elements that draw me in2 it.

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  • Guy with beard and glasses
  • Quirky conversation
  • sillie situations
  • moments where it looks like some1 is 'breaking free' from society's norms
  • Meaningful moments (sometimes with a bunch of people laughing)
  • some sort of folk/indie ballad in the background
  • It is made by focus features
  • couple with shitty car in a modern world
  • animated meaningful drawings that are probably metaphorical
  • scene where people are 'moving' on one of those things in the airport
  • directed by an old guy who gets to 'make love' to Kate Winslett
  • cartoony drawn font
  • actors who create 'caricatures' bc they don't really 'know how 2 act'/it has become a popular tool in the modern 'indie' genre
  • has a bunch of people who are in 'comedies' trying 2 be taken seriously [via Jim Carrey].
  • Remember when Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels were in Dumb And Dumber, but then they decided 2 stop making money and get serious?

I feel like these are some critical elements that draw me into films, cuz they are sort of like a mashup of Nappy Dynamite, Juno, Lil Miss Sunshine, Gigantic, and 500 Days of Summer.  Hopefully the themes that are portrayed in this movie don't isolate tweens and teens, who don't want 2 go 2 the movies to see a movie 'about some pregnant bitch.'  Probably would be boring 2 them, ever since the text message was invented.

I feel pretty intrigued by the guy from The Office's (John Krasinski's) personal brand. I feel like he is sort of like Zach Braff 2.0. I think he is just trying to be 'authentic' but not make anything that will 'pigeon-hole' him quite like ZBraff's masterpiece Garden State.  Think he will probably just be on TV for a long time, and make some krappie movies, and his ceiling is probably co-starring in a Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock/Anne Hathaway movie.


He seems like he's just here to be on the Earth to say 'hey whats up. I'm just a chill bro. A little bit funnie, a lil bit meaningful. Always willing to look into the camera and make a face that tells u I am in a meaningful, zany, absurd situation bc of my boss, The 40 year old virgin.'

I feel weird finding out that Maya Rudolph is married to P.T. Anderson. Not sure if P.T. films are more authentic than Wes [Anderson] films. I think that There Will Be Blood / Boogie Nights / Punch Drunk Love are better than Tenenbaums / Rushmore /etc.

Wonder if he advised his wife against doing this 'krappie film.'

Have yall seen n e good quirky-core indie movies lately with a meaningful theme

Sean Penn: Who is his soulmate?

I think in the future, I will start talking more about 'soulmates.' Do yall believe that there is 1 person on this Earth who u were meant 2 spend the rest of ur life with?

Feel worried about Sean Penn... Not sure if he will find a soulmate, or if he is even looking for 1. I feel sort of jealous that he has been able to cum with so many kute/famous women over the years, but I can't help but think that maybe he should have settled down with 1 of them.

I recently read that he is dating Natalie 'Garden State' Portman. I wonder if she tells him about freakfolk buzzbands, or if she gave him a pre-loaded iPod shuffle with The Shins on it. I wonder if she thinks that she is 'a better actress' by dating him.

There was that broad named Robin Wright Penn. I think she was in the popular fufu-core movie The Princess Bride. I think people really 'like' that movie or something. Not sure what it means about them. I think she might have been his soulmate, but he'd rather cum on women a lot.

He also dated some super model named Petra Nemcova. It seems intense to have to actually date a super model. Wonder if they are 'smart' and 'good conversationalists.' Wonder if u can just do a google image search instead of dating 1.

Feel jealous that he dated JEWEL in her prime. I remember when ppl were like 'is Jewel gonna be bigger than Sheryl Crow?' and then Sheryl Crow won, I think. [via all I wanna do is have some fun]

Wonder if Bono is 'bi'.

Wonder if he thought about 'being ghey' with James Franco during the filming of the ghey-propaganda film 'Milk on Me.'

Should have had a meaningful 3some with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.

Maybe he should have just invested in Dakota Fanning growing up into a 'hot lil piece of tween ass.' I wish every actor was forced to be in a movie where they play 'a retarded' person.

If u ask me, he should have just stayed with Madonna. They seem like a very natural fit. Were probably soulmates.

I feel like he might have been the husband who was 'sort of ashamed' of his wife, and 'laughed at her job/art/craft.' Then he would 'make her feel bad' and 'less natural' whenever they had 2 go out.

Wonder how Madonna's life would have gone if she stayed with Seanny Penny. I wonder if her sound would have 'kept changing.' He might have made her retire, bc she was 'acting like an idiot' or something. Wonder if he would have let her adopt kidz from

This is a paragraph where I write like I actually 'know' Sean Penn, pretending I am friends with this famous bro:
Yall...Sean is such a gifted actor. He has had a hard life, but a special one. I wish him nothing but the best in finding the true love that he deserves. They say that gifted actors are troubled men, but that doesn't mean troubled people aren't worth loving. Sean's a great actor, and I wish him nothing but the best, on and off the silver screen!

tru <3

Excited abt the new Wes Anderson movie about the NBA


I feel excited, because 2 of my favourite things are joining forces to make the best movie of all time: Wes Anderson and NBA basketball. This is a picture from the set in a scene where he is feeling aloof, and goes to an NBA game and 'feels nothing.' Apparently, Bill Murray stars as a down-on-his-luck bro who just got divorced from Margot Tenenbaum, and gets back from sea. He wants to rebuild his life, and get a decent paycheck playing in the NBA.

Eventually, Bill Murray must go through a series of whimsical conversations to get himself a tryout. He eventually makes the team, but then finds out that black men h8 old white men. He goes through adversity, gets dunked on by LeBron James, and eventually becomes a contributor and vocal team leader from the bench on a championship team. He also reunites with his estranged son.

I feel excited about this movie. I think it will help to 'humanize' our perception of professional athletes, instead of thinking of them as lucky/blessed / relevant / important 2 society / ass holes / spoiled / new money bros who buy tyte cars / etc.

Think that the tentative title of the film is HE GOT BBALL DIARIES.

EXCLUSIVE SHOTS FROM THE MOVIE
Bill sad after he doesn't make the team the first time

LeBron James dunks over Bill Murray in the all star game

Bill trying to be more into black culture and killing cops with a bro

Bill hanging out with team mascot

Bill banging a skank on the road... the perks of being an NBA player

Bill joins the army when the league shuts down 'for the war.'

Bill contemplating retirement after he blows out his knee

Bill inspires teammates

Bill's Dad is finally proud of him for making it/being rich & famous

Bill Murray after he gets an endorsement deal

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Is n e 1 else pumped abt this movie?
Looove Bill Murray. Sometimes I feel like he plays the same 'disconnected' character in every movie...but maybe that's a good thing. I have only seen his post-Rushmore stuff, so I don't even know if he is like a 'comedian.' I can't believe he was on SNL once... do yall think he made 'digital shorts' like that Jewish guy on SNL now?

Bill Murray

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Bill Murray is the frontman of the hit chillwave project Chill Murray.

Read more>>>>

Might become a 'Super Fan' of a popular movie franchise 4 the rest of my life.

Photos via thecobrasnake


Is it 'alt' to go to the movies to see mainstream summer blockbusters? Feel like people who 'go to the movies' and 'build their weekly schedules around television shows' make me sad, because they represent how people don't have any thing 2 do, so we just have 2 waste time watching things 2 keep us from thinking about how sad we all are on the inside. Sort of prefer 'wasting time on the internet' because we are all trying to get vulnerable and 'show the world who we are.'

It makes me feel sad when people outsource their personal brands to 'fictional tales.' Like when bros invest in storm trooper costumes, or when teens 'get pregnant' just because the popular movie Juno did it. I wish we could all be individuals, instead of 'feeling pressured to see a kewl movie' because every1 is talking about it. Sort of reminds me of JokerAlts.

Not even sure if Star Trek is 'good.' I just remember it was a television show or something, then they cancelled it for Frasier or 2 Guys A Girl and 1 Cup of Pizza.

Should I see that movie about Wolverines and X-people? Feel out of touch with society. Sort of wish I could build a time machine, and see Jurassic Park / Independence Day /Garden State / Where the Wild Bros Are for the first time again. Sort of dreading 'being a cool dad' but having to 'sell out' and take my kids 2 see 'shitty movies' to feel like they are 'normal.' Might only allow my kid to watch DVDs from the Criterion Collection.

XX BONUS NAPPY DYNAMITE SIGHTING XX

Does n e 1 know what ever happened to the Napoleon Dynamite bro? I think he found a way 2 clone himself or something. Think they will probably use the 'clone gimmick' in Napoleon Dynamite Pt 2: Pedro's Revenege [via Swine Flu {sub-Via Mexis}].

Should I wear a VHS tape around my neck [via 'favourite childhood movie']?

Photo via thecobrasnake


Yall. Saw some bro wearing a VHS tape around his neck, kinda like a necklace. I remember when bros used 2 wear record hats, other alts wore cassette tape necklaces, and some other bro wore a postcard necklace. I wonder what movie he has around his neck. Probs something like The Goonies or Getting Even With Dad or something zany like Pete & Pete Bros. Would be pretty authentic if he had something like 'a snuff film' around his neck, or maybe some sort of vulnerable childhood film that u could show 2 people that ur in a relationship with 2 make them 'feel closer' 2 u.

Need 2 convert more dated technology into 'fashionable items.' Might start wearing a USB drive around my neck, like I work in the IT industry.

Feel weird when people 'watch movies' and 'love them.' Sort of feel sad when I see bins of DVDs for $2 each, especially when I used to think that 'the movie experience was valuable.' Wonder where the magic of the movies went? Wonder what the carbon footprint of 'the movie industry' is. Probably almost as bad as driving a car or something.

I might just paint a mural of every single alt/authentic/quirky-core movie character who has ever been in some sort of relevant indie film / 'cult classic' / dark comedy.

Who would yall put on ur 'dream mural' of every relevant character?
Would all of the Tenenbaums fit on ur mural?
Would the 'fucking stupid Mexi' from Napoleon Dynamite 'make the cut'?
Would any African Americans be on ur mural?
Should I get a tattoo that says 'CriterionCollecBro'?
Are yall excited about Summer Movies? [via Will Smith/Johnathan Depp / Nick Cage]

Think I wanna see this 'indie' love story

Yall. I really want 2 fall in love. Looking for an authentic interpretation of 'love.' Feel like most movies about relationships are 'just bull shit romanticized crap' but not this 1. I am pretty sure I identify with it.

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Do yall think it looks good? The intro scene where he is all like 'damn. she likes the Smith's. Think I'm in <3 with her' is kind what made me know I was gonna like this movie. Need more movies with scenes where some1 is listening 2 headphones, kinda like that movie Garden State where NatPortty tells ZachBraffbro about the buzzband THE SHINS.

I'm just a bro who wants to be in love, living in a world full of 'crazy cunts' and 'krazie slutz' who 'don't know what they want' and 'don't realize that they have a good bf.' Wonder if Summer dies at day 500. Wonder if there is some 'realistic ending' that I am supposed to respect since it's 'not just a happy ending.' Probably gonna have a 'bad ass soundtrack.' Is there any way I can invest in this film on the Alternative Stock Market?

"I believe in a thing called <3." -The Darknesses

Jealous that Ben Gibbard married Zooey Deschanel. Want to marry some1 who plays a character in an alternative movie and then pretend that I am married to a character from a movie. Thinking about marrying Bill Murray and pretending he is Steve Zissou/a Ghostbuster/CaddyshackBro.

I think I like the REMIX of this trailer that is meant to just make the movie seem 'meaningful' by not saying much/but just having a meaningful background song, deep voice-over bro, and demonstrating the 'lovely cinematography' in the movie.

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Just want 2 find meaningful love in a city. Want a girl who is alternative, but also 'seems like a slut who is down 2 fuck.' Want life to seem like an indie movie that is a mix of realism, quirky convo, and surreal events like 'dance sequences' and 'moments that seem larger than life.'

Never knew the 3rd Rock from the Sun bro would grow up 2 be a leading man in an alternative love story.

Not sure what movie I want 2 see. Kinda pumped about Gigantic / Where the Wild Things Are / JUNO.

Might buy candy and popcorn at the movies. Then will 'complain about how much it costs.'

sad that tweens can't go to the movies any more and fngrbang eachother without 'a lil bit of popcorn butter on their fingers.' just s00 expensive.

Not gonna take my kids 2 see WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE bc I feel like they’d grow into lil assholes

I recently saw this new Arcade Fire music video/trailer for the movie 'Where the Wild Things Are' and thought it 'looked kinda lame'/'trying too hard.'

I kinda wonder who this movie is supposed to 'appeal to.' Is it supposed to appeal 2 people who read the book 'when they were growing up'? Or maybe 'people who read about new movies being released on tastemaking blogs'? Kinda weird. Feel like this is supposed to be a Children's Movie, but think it accidentally appeals to 'middle aged people who are trying to be kewl' too much.

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Not sure 'what happens' in this trailer, I just know it looked meaningful cuz of the lighting/music in the background. I'm not sure 'why that book was a big deal.' I remember reading it while I was a kid, and it seemed kinda 'underdeveloped.' I think there were like 10 sentences in the whole book, so I'm not sure why it gets to be made into a movie that is longer than 14 minutes.

I feel like there were less children's books before 'publishing books got cheap' so now a book like WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE wouldn't even get published because it wasn't colorful enough and didn't have any likable characters that could realistically be turned in2 a movie. In our current creative landscape, I think 'writing childrens books' is a gimmick for people who failed at other creative ventures, so now there's just 2 many authors/books with pictures/zany characters who teach positive lessons. Would have trouble selecting the authentic ones for my kids, so I'd probably just buy him a netbook and have him browse 'kidz blogz.'

If I could be a kid again, don't think this movie would appeal to me. It seems like something that my cool dad would take me to, but then I would ask 'Why didn't we see XXX: Part 4? Need 2 see movies that will keep me informed so that I can participate in conversations about kewl, edgy movies with groups of my friends at school.' Would be confused about why my cool dad was so excited about this movie, and why he bought me a copy of the book. Then he would tell me 'I read this when I was your age' and I would feel kinda closer to him, but then start to h8 him for not realizing how much the world has changed.

Does n e 1 remember what this book was about? Was it about the dark side of humanity/pedophilia?

Kinda wish they had used the band Animal Collective in the trailer.

I just want a meaningful Alternative Life in an AltCity with an AltGirl and quirky altInteractions

I was watching a movie preview about a movie that I really want 2 see. Sometimes I wonder what my ideal life would be like if some1 portrayed it on 'the silver screen', and which actors would play me + my parents + my friends + my GF. I don't take life very seriously, so I know that the background music in my movie would be 60% 'quirkily meaningful' sounding.

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My interactions with ppl are pretty unique. Kinda feel like every1 in my life is a character from the Royal Tenenbaums, except that Gene Hackman would be too authentic for my script so we would have 2 select our 10th choice to play the patriarch--John Goodman. Want to 'make love' to an insecure zany girl who comes across as having been 'quirkily sexually abused' like Zooey Gibbard-Deschanel in this movie. Want to be a humbleBro like Paul Dano, who does something trivial for a living, but has a quest to do something meaningful, like buy an AZN baby. Wish my life was a series of quirkisms/ zanisms / series of whimsical interactions with ppl who are caricatures of any1 resembling some1 'normal.'

Does n e 1 else think that this movie will 'win an Oscar' or will it just be 'another shitty movie on HBO' kind of like Juno: The Pregnant Snarky Teen?
Do yall think that Paul Dano 'tries 2 hard' and 'isn't THAT talented'?

Sometimes I wonder about the 'self-concepts' of ppl who write these kinds of movies. Do they really 'see the world' this way? Ultimately, they are writing about their own life since ppl can't see outside of themselves, but are they just so insecure that they 'have to make things seem zany, meaningful, quirky, and interesting'? Would feel kinda bad if I wrote a movie about my life and made every one seem like a 'walking turd that pooped out lil quirkisms out of their mouth at every opportunity.' Not sure if my family would 'think I was sane.' Guess it wouldn't be interesting to write a movie about family that goes 2 Chili's/Olive Garden / TGIFriday's /etc.

Seen n e 1 good alt movies lately?
R u upset that the Bollywood movie won all of the American Awards at the OscarGrammys?
R u glad that the Ghey Rights movie won a bunch of Oscars?
Is Nappy Dynamite the most relevant movie of the century?
Should I see the quirky romcom (romantic comedy) with the Flight Of the Conchords bro?
Have yall ever 'suicide bombed' a movie theatre that was showing a movie that u didn't support? (Think straight ppl did this during Brokeback).
Which alt actor/actress would play U in an altmovie?

Oscar Recap (presented by HRO)

This post has been certified by Carles. This post is by Carles.

Did yall watch the Oscars? It was sooo magical. (Didn't watch it, just read abt it in a blog. Don't have time 2 watch TV for like 5 hrs per day.) N e ways... thought I would do a 'lil recap' so that yall would know who won, along with my 'snarky commentary.'

Best Jew h8r of the Year - Mel Gibson

Best Actor - Tom Hanks

Best Supporting ActorBro who died and created a viral mrktng campaign for his movie - Heath Ledger

Actress Most Likely to be a Tween pop sensation who eventually marries Ryan Adams- Mandy Moore

Best Batman Villain of All Time Who Makes Love to Zany Sex Icon Jenny McCarthy- Jim Carrey

Lead Singer of a Bad Ass band that mixes pop, rock, and hosting an entertainment recap show - Mark McGrath

Authentic Milf of the Year - Meryl Streep

People who I can't relate 2 cuz they want so many kids - Brangelina

Guy who Banged Madonna of the YEar - Sean Penn

Chillest Bro of the year - Matthew McConaughey

Guy who 'doesn't want UR life' - James Van Der Beek

Bro gang of the year - these bros

Actor who hasn't 'adapted' to the modern Apatow comedy aesthetic - Ben Stiller

Guy turning in2 goblin - Mickey Rourke

Director who may or may not be as good as people believe he is (Original Blipster) - Spike Lee

Lil guy with a faux hawk of the year - Elijah Wood

Teen Actor who doesn't have an education and handled 'getting older' decently well - Christian Bale

Black Actors of the year - Morgan Freeman & Denzel Washington

Comedian of the year - Larry the Cable Guy

Bro Comedy Superstars of the Decade - these bros

Tween most likely to participate in SEXTING (the act of sending sexually charged text messages) - Miley Cyrus

Old zany guy most likely to write a sillie, yet meaningful song for a Disney+Pixar movie - Randy Newman

Person who might as well not have a 'personal life' and should just always be pretending 2 be some1 else, like a method actor - Daniel Day Lewis

Bro 'gone zany' of the year - Joaquin Phoenix

Are yall surprised by any of these awards?
What awards did yall agree with?
Do the Oscars need to let 'fans vote' on the best movies of the year?
Can I send a txt message to OSCAR to vote?
Do u think they should start calling Hollywood "Hollyweird"?
Do u miss the Oscars+entertainment events b4 blogs 'ruined everything?'
Should we cancel the Oscars when there are wars/our economy is in 'the shitter'?
Should I adopt a kid from Afrika as a performance art piece?

The State of Bro Comedy in 2k9

We are all searching for media that 'makes us laugh' without having to think about 'why we are laughing at it.' We just want something that isn't 'trying too hard' and isn't 'too bitter and self-aware.' We want comedy that is smart and a lil bit dumb at the same time. We just want to relax, but feel 'progressive' and 'current' with what we find humorous. The 'stuff u find funnie' is just as important as the mp3s on your iPod.

This is a post about Bro Comedy in 2k9 that is kinda disguised as offbeat comedy which is lumped into an alternative comedy genre. (Tweens love bro comedy because it makes them feel like they 'fit in'.)

Yall. I'm just wondering if yall know if 2k9 is gonna be a good year for zany movies with zany characters. If u think about it, we haven't had a movie that resonated deeply with Gen-Y since the hit film Napoleon Dynamite (aka NAPPY DYNABRO).

n e ways....
I recently saw a trailer for a film that looks kind of zany with one of the zany bros from FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS

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Does this movie 'seem funny' 2 u? Does something inside of u feel like u need 2 see it because of how it emulates popular comedic aesthetics, looks sort of meaningful, and has a character/actor from a popular TV show who is playing a different character/actor? I wonder what type of bro is inside of the ConchordBro from this movie. What inspired him to play these 'oddball characters'? Does he think that he is making the world a better place by delivering a message through these quirky characters? Should we all just lighten up and laugh a lil bit? Do we really need to see another movie about 'sad, dumb people' to realize that life is precious in a meaningless way?


What's the deal with the Flight of the Conchords? Are they supposed to be 'funny'? I remember I watched an episode, and it wasn't very funnie, but there were quirky characters who wrote songs about zany stuff. The songs borrowed popular aesthetics from music over the past 50 years, sort of 'parodying' these genres while musing about the dilemma that the characters found themselves' in. Not sure if I should 'respect them' for writing their own songs that sound like old songs, or if I should find them to be inauthentic.

This is a funnie song by them where they are being kind of zany.

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Does any 1 'get' why people find comedy in music format to be 'funnie'? Do you appreciate the craftsmanship + innovation of some one who can 'play a guitar' while singing funny things? Is that more valuable to society than a guy who plays guitar and say serious things about relationships/life ?

Have u heard of this group of bros called THE LONELY ISLAND?

I feel like the Lonely Island bros are sort of like 'class clowns who were also jocks/alpha mainstreamers.' There is an expectation for comedy/comedians to be 'progressive' or point something out about how society is sooo messed up and how ur perspective is different. But not with Funny Alpha Bros. Because they choose to be 50% zanier than they are expected to be, packs of mainstreamers feel comfortable 'laughing at' the zany humor presented by a group like the Lonely Island Mainstreamer Bros. Laughing at the relatively safe, non-progressive humor of a Lonely Island bro makes you 'belong' a little bit more--but you also get to feel like you are sort of rebelling against the standard alpha bro. Even though alphaBro humor is usually 'shock humor', it isn't the kind of 'shock humor' that is like taking a shit on an American flag. It's more like 'poop+curse+reference from the past+extreme sexual innuendo.'

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The Lonely Island kind of remind me of WEIRD AL except a bro-version that appeals to the type of people who 'buy complete seasons of DVDs', watching them multiple times while 'getting stoned' and 'chilling with friends.' Just the kind of people who aren't very fascinated with 'being alive' and would rather be able to carry on conversations with other people about popular mainstream media in video+audio format. As you grow old, you can compare various media and rate them historically. For example, "The Simpsons in its prime is way better than _______(Adult Swim show)." <3 the Bromedy demographic.

Is there something inside of alts that feel the need to 'fit in' and find this humor 'funnie'? You can also see that Alts like the Arcade Fire enjoy cobranding themselves with the Mildly Alt Comedy Jocks.

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I suppose that these bros have 'worked hard' to 'be successful', but kinda makes u wonder if they should be doing more with their 'platform.' Or are they being 'progressive' since they are doing something kind of zany when everything else is 'conforming' to previous concepts of comedy? It's just hard for me to take them seriously when I feel like they seem like the type of bros who are only capable of feeling validation from things like 'performing a skit that made fun of the teachers at our high school' or 'my mom thinking that I have a funny personal brand.'


Does n e 1 else find 'comedy albums' to be kind of weird and uncomfortable? I feel like they are purchased by people who don't 'get' the memesphere. Like of course you can see something 'oddly delightful' in a zany song the first time you hear it. But should it inspire a sane person to buy an entire album full of lil sillie songs. Do you plan on listening to this album for the rest of your life? Or will you just put it on when you feel like having a laugh? Or is there something inside of you that wants to create bro-humor + be an alphaBro who makes the ppl laugh?

Anyways, yall. What's the deal with BRO MAINSTREAMER BUTT BUDDY FGGT COMEDY? (this is a new genre term that I invented)
Everything has changed since Weird Al 'sold out' and got a nose job.

Should I only value altComedians like David Cross and Bob Odenkirk?
Is Will Ferrell the #1 comedian of all time?
Do u miss Phil Hartman?
Is Steve Martin overrated?
Was George Carlin overrated? Should I eat pizza until I die while watching reruns of Seinfeld/Curb Ur Enthusiasm?
Was ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT overrated?
What type of comedy do u respect more: College Humor or Lonely Island Bros?
Do comedians owe it to themselves to do more than 'mock' popular aesthetics, and try to change the world by pointing out what's wrong with it, and helping us laugh through troubled times?
Is Chris Rock better than Eddie Murphy better than Richard Pryor?
Is there like some sort of 'science'/'psychology' to what people find 'funnie'? (can some1 who went 2 college please answer this)
Has the meme economy cheapened 'comedy'?
Is it easier for nonfunny comedy in non-sitcom format to thrive simply because it's not in 'sitcom' format? [this question is trying 2 say that the Office sux]
Do yall wish we could just appreciate sitcoms again?

What makes something 'funny' and 'authentic'?
Just trying to preserve my personal brand, yall.

The Most Meaningful Metaphors of Our Young Lives’


Some metaphors stick with u forever. I need 2 spend more time reflecting upon how these metaphors have constructed who I am 2day. In the hit film GARDEN STATE, Zachary Braff's character stands in front of a mirror. He looks into this mirror and he sees himself. He is wearing a zany t-shirt which his zany relative gave to him--he then finds out the zany print on the t-shirt is the zany wallpaper in the zany relative's zany bathroom. Yall probably see where this is going:

This scene is a metaphor for searching for meaning in a zany world.

The truth is that we are all searching for a way to express our individuality. It's difficult though, because we spend most of our time reflecting within ourselves--u will notice that the shot is kinda like he is looking in a mirror. This represents searching within urself 4 meaning. However, u can barely 'find yourself' when u can barely even see yourself, cuz ur kinda just another brick in the wall.

Have yall ever felt a little bit Braffy? (this post is just an excuse to post these zany people. srry. laters.)

[meme via weburbanist]

Do yall ever feel overwhelmed by the other 2 billion people on this Earth? Kinda hard 2 feel 'unique', in my humble bropinion.... But who am I? Just a bro with a blog. Goodnight, yall.

This has been a post about movies. I am going to start blogging more about cinema like The Mall Cop Movie or Ashton Kutcher's "What Happens in Vegas, Yall!." Is that kewl with yall? Who is gonna win one of those Movie Grammy MTV Video Award Thingies?

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Do yall know any other metaphors/symbolism that I should analyze so we can get to the 'root' of who we are? How about the Che Guevara meme?
Do yall know if Garden State is in the Criterion Collection or has only Armageddon made it in?

Do yall know if they let blogs into the Criterion Collection?

Does n e 1 know if this is a ‘got milk’ ad or a real movie?


Yall. I've heard of this new liberal movie about a time where things weren't so free-spirited. I think I'm supposed 2 see it bc it will mean that I am an informed/tolerant/historically-aware person. Kinda excited 2 see Sean Penn. Heard he gives a great performance of 'pretending to be an authentic ghey guy with dreams of becoming President.'
Spoiler Alert: He is assassinated. (Haven't seen it yet. Just guessing.)

Not sure if I wanna see it, though. Kinda worried that it's just some viral marketing stuff.
/// "GOT ALT?" - Hipster Runoffs

Might see this movie instead.

Or maybe this movie

Or maybe 'Freakie Fridayz'

Or maybe just a ghey twink film.

Every year, a few films come out that I think I am supposed to see to make sure I can carry on relevant conversations with relevant people. Is "Milk" the first movie of 2k9 that I am 'supposed to see' because it's gonna be brilliant/relevant/ghey?

Should I wait til it is on DVD/VHS, have a 'girls nite in' based around watching it, order pizza, and then have a 'group suicide ice breaker' activity where we move on to our next lives' while eating stuffed crust?

Is Daft Punk's ELECTROMA a big pile of p00p?

Electroma is a meaningful story about 2 robots who want 2 be human. As you can see from the 10 minute highlight reel below, the robots drive in cars, put on plastic human skin, and then burn themselves' alive.

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I can't even remember when Daft Punk's film ELECTROMA came out (in 10 total theatres). Is it still in post-production? Is it coming out soon? I know that as an electroDescendant, I must find Daft Punk to be 'authentic'/'a respected elder', but just unsure about this lil robot film thingy.

Maybe because of the Masked DJ era, it's more difficult to take a film about masked DJs who put on human masks seriously. I'm sure it provides relevant commentary on technology, humanity, and other important teen issues, but I don't know if I will ever 'get' it. Maybe it's a concept film like that one Wall-E.

Maybe I can identify with scenes like this where you feel like an alt in a mainstream world. :-(

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h8 it when I go out in the sun & my face starts to melt.

SRSLY THO... who has actually SEEN all of ELECTROMA?

Do u know n e 1 who has actually sat through Electroma?
Do u know n e 1 who owns Electroma?
Do u know n e 1 who went to a [RARE] screening at an authentic movie theatre in a major metropolitan area in order to see it? Do u think they wasted ___ minutes of their lives' watching a sillie robot film?
If this film was made in the 1960s, would we have seen it on Mystery Science Theatre 3000?

When a movie has a 4 minute long face-melting suicide scene, should we take it seriously?

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(do scenes like this make ELECTROMA the greatest film ever made?)

I'm in crisis, yall. Don't know how to feel about Electroma. Was it a landmark in filmmaking? Just wanna know if people have actually seen it. Have yall?
Why do all of the modern electroActs just make documentaries? Why can't they make fictional stories about themselves and their quest 2 b __________.

Daft Punk

DJ, Buzzband

Daft Punk is a French House band that 'peaked' with discovery.

Read more>>>>

Jonah Hill will star in "Pitchfork: The Movie". Will it be the next Social Network?

pitchfork movie
Apparently, some trendy writers penned some script called "Pitchfork." The type of writer bros who write meaningful bro comedies about bros 'coming of age' after a series of quirky events that lead you to question the spirit of bro, and make the brotagonist wonder if he will ever grow 'beyond a bro' to 'become a man.' Anyways, this headline seems trendy because the name of the movie is "Pitchfork." I don't know if mainstreamers know about that indie music site.

Titled "Pitchfork," it's a dramatic thriller about the middle-aged mother of an indie rocker who, after her son is killed in a car accident, seeks vengeance on an online blogger who had peddled snark about her son (on the music site Pitchfork, hence one of the title's entendres). Things take a turn, though, when she finds out the snarker is just a teenager.

Is Pitchfork even 'snarky'? It seems like they 'respect artists' and never really question them as human beings or memes. I wonder what the indie rocker's personal brand will be all about. I wonder what the blogger will look like? Probably some MASSIVE, disgusting blob who hasn't seen the sun in days.

I wonder if this is based on a specific Pitchfork 'writer.' I think they all call themselves 'writers' even though it is just an HTML file on the internet.

Apparently Jonah Hill 'is rumored to have read the script' so we can basically go ahead and say he is 'starring in it' [via blog industry standards].

The film contains a juicy role for the mother (Susan Sarandon is one of the actresses who's being sought for the part) as well as the teen blogger, with Hill having discussed it with the filmmakers, said a person familiar with the pitch.

Was really hoping that this was going to be a biopic about Ryan Schreiber, and the bro he betrayed to start Pitchfork Media. Kinda let down.

This seems like it is the kind of movie that will just 'get a lot of blog buzz' and then no1 really goes 2 see it [via Scott Pilgrim]/the majority of movies involving Jonah Hill or Michael Cera.

R u going to see this movie?
Will this movie 'get greenlit'?
Do u think Pitchfork should let this movie 'use' it, or will it be a 'jump the shark' moment when the movie tanks and becomes 'dated' in _ days?
Will it be as meaningful as 'Almost Famous' [via Rolling Stone]?
Who is the #1 indie snark blogger?
Is this movie 'based on Carles'?
Will the mother of a deceased indie rocker hunt down Carles 1 day?

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

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Zooey Deschanel writes new song for the Winnie the Pooh soundtrack

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Zooey Deschanel was hired by the Winnie the Pooh movie 2 write some songs about how Winnie is a chill bro and Christopher Robin just wants to stay in a permanent chill zone [via nostalgic images of youth]. I wonder if they picked Zooey Deschanel because her rate was significantly lower than hiring some random top tier pop star. Anyways, this video features Zooey Deschanel talking abt how she loves Winnie the Pooh, and how she wants to hug him, which might explain her initial attraction 2 Benjamin Gibbard b4 she made him lose tons of weight.

"Hi I'm a musician.' -some actress

Feel bad for M. Ward because these songs are 'by Zooey Deschanel' but they don't want his creepy old man brand associate with the movie [via scaring the children]. He is just in the background playing the guitar.

Zooey Deschanel is also wearing her 'rowdy' wedding ring, proving she is property of Ben so that no1 gets 'any ideas.'

Feel bad for Winnie the Pooh. He seems chill, and I think he woulda rather gone for 'authentic lo-fi vibes' as a soundtrack choice.

Does this song 'seem amazing'?
R u sad 4 Winnie, or do u think he likes Zooey Deschanel?
Is M. Ward being 'phased out' by Zooey Deschanel?
Is Zooey Deschanel an 'indie musician' or just a KIDZ BOP musician now?
Do u think they should turn Winnie the Pooh into an indie movie where Winnie wants to find true love [via a relationship with Zooey Deschanel]?

She & Him

Buzzband

The Shims are Zooey Deschanel's buzzband. Even though they are terrible, they sell a lot of records.

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Arcade Fire releases trailer for short film abt teen life in the Suburbs (directed by Spike Jonze)

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I just watched this trailer for a short film inspired by the Arcade Fire album 'The Suburbs' called Scenes From The Suburbs. It is basically just going to be the long form video for the hit music video "The Suburbs" which was directed by Spike Jonze. Not really that interesting to me. If I wanted to watch 'Scenes from the Suburbs', I'd just go outside and walk around my neighborhood (since I had to move back in with my parents after a rough stretch where I quit my office job).

The story seems to be about the military taking over the_suburbs, and teens trying to make sure that they had meaningful existences. Just the usual high school stuff. Riding BMX bikes, fingerbanging the same girl as your bros did, and wishing ur parents understood u.

Do yall think tons of entry levelers are gonna buy this 'dvd' and be all like 'I am a true Arcade Fire fan because I care abt the story behind the music and bc Spike used 'Wake Up' for Where the Wild Things Are book movie'?

Here is the original music video for 'The Suburbs.' U can basically watch this video and know what happened in 'The Suburbs'. Just pretend you are all of the tweens in this short film [via acting in a 1 man play].

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Is Spike Jonze 'overrated'?
Did he ruin 'Where the Wild Things Are' or was it a brilliant, emotional film?
Are yall tired of 'The Suburbs'?
Does the Arcade Fire need 2 find a new gimmick that doesn't involve Sprawl (IV) Subways Beyond Panera Breads?
Do u wish this short film was just the story of Regine and Win settling down in the Suburbs of Texas?
Will yall ever forgive Spike Jonze for 'taking over Heath Ledger's life' [via Michelle Williams + Matilda]?

Arcade Fire

Buzzband

The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.

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Natalie Portman and Dwight Schrute from The Office star in a new lame indie film 2gether

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I just saw this new movie trailer for a film called "Hesher." It seems to star indie actress Natalie Portman, the guy who plays Dwight Schrute in The Office (named Rainn Wilson in real life), and Jason Gordon Levitt, the lamestreamer from the hit indie film "500 Days of Summer."

Overall, the movie seems horrible. I thought Natalie Portman had moved on beyond these types of roles in identity-less indie films. Oh well, at least she wore some really sweet child predator glasses 2 'really get in2' her character.

Can't believe Rainn Wilson was allowed 2 be in another film. I think he has over 1 million twitter followers, but not really sure if any1 cares abt him as an artist/actor.

He tries 2 act all serious [via growing a beard and acting despondent], but of course, it looks like a big joke, and u just wait for Steve Carrell 2 tell him 2 'get back 2 work.'

I remember his last film was one of the biggest flops in the history of movies.

Here is a picture of Jason Gordon Levitt, who played Zooey Deschanel's indie lil bitch in 500 Days of Summer. He plays trailer trash in this movie, and probably thinks he will get nominated 4 an Academy Award.

I feel rlly bad 4 every1 involved in creating 'Hesher.' Maybe it would have 'worked' 10-20 years ago if it had an indie soundtrack filled with tons of indie artists, but now just looks like a big pile of indie cheese.

Does this movie 'look horrible'?
Do u h8 indie quirky dramedies 'abt lower middle class life'?
Will Jason Gordon Levitt ever 'make it' as an indie actor, or will he always just be a teen actor?
Do u think Natalie Portman's career has 'regressed' by taking this role?
Can Rainn Wilson pull of a 'serious role' 2 get his post-Office career going, or will his career basically 'go in the tank' when the Office is cancelled?
Do u <3 indie films that are 'trying rlly hard' 2 look indie'?

Natalie Portman

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Natalie Portman is a mainstream actress who tries 2 maintain indie authenticity by starring in indie films.

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Natalie Portman stars in an indie comedy with Ashton Kutcher


Natalie Portman is an indie female star who is pregnant and is trying 2 get indie cred by starring in tons of indie films. For some reason, she tried 2 get even more indie by starring in an indie romantic comedy with indie star Ashton Kutcher. It seems like they have a series of indie diy friends and just do indie stuff, act like 20somethings in coffee shops, and try 2 find meaning in their lives'. They just hang out with friends, and try to find love in all of the wrong places, trying 2 grow as humans, and grow 2gether with another human, but there are tons of comical follies along the way.

Do u think Natalie Portman might get a 'best actress nomination' 4 this hit indie film?
Do u think this will be more successful than he portrayal of 'A Black Swan'?
Do u think that Ashton Kutcher will gain more indie cred in this indie film?

Will 'the ethnic girl' from the Office ever get to 'carry her own film' or is the ceiling of her career being a 'wing woman' in a mainstream romantic comedy?

Can 2 ppl ever just have sex with 'no strings attached'?
Do u have a group of 'girl friendz' / 'boy friendz' who totally remind u of the innercircle of a romantic comedy 'group of friends'?
Did Natalie Portman only make this movie 2 fund her upcoming baby?
Do u think this mainstream romcom will hurt Nat Portman's indie cred?
Will Natalie Portman ever 'top' her performance in 'Garden State II: The Braffy Strikes Back'?
Do u think Ashton Kutcher had more fun banging Natie Portie than he does banging his own 'old ass' wife? [via Demi Moore]

Do u think Ashton Kutcher's 'twitter follower count' can help a movie be successful, or will every movie he is in 'totally suck'?
Are rom coms 'art', or just a 'disgrace' 2 filmmaking?

Francis Ford Coppola hires Dan Deacon 2 score his next film. Will it flop?


I never really thought that Dan Deacon was a 'real musician.' From what I understand, he is just a 'performance artist', and his music seems pretty simple and random, so I am confused as to why he was selected to score the next Francis Ford Coppola film. I feel like maybe Coppola was like "my daughter is bros with Phoenix, and Spike Jonez is bros with the Arcade Fire, so maybe I have to start a working relationship with an indie band." Feel like Deacon isn't really aligned with his brand.

Dan Deacon has been tapped by Francis Ford Coppola to score his next film, Twixt Now and Sunrise, due later this year. The gothic romance stars Val Kilmer, Bruce Dern, Ben Chaplin & Elle Fanning. In addition to scoring the film, Mr. Coppola and Mr. Deacon are collaborating on a larger level, details of which will be announced soon.

Do yall wish some1 could build a time machine so that Dan Deacon could go back in time 2 score the Godfather/Apocalypse Now?

Is this movie 'doomed'? Will it 'flop'?
Is Francy Ford 'past his prime'?
Is Dan Deacon an 'artistic genius'?
Do u think he can handle 'scoring' a relevant movie?

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Is Dan Deacon one of the ultimate entry level alt 'live music experiences'?
Should Francis Ford Coppola quit making film and focus on his wine business?

Dan Deacon

Alternative Celebrity

Dan Deacon is an electro bleep bloop performance artist who makes the audience participate all zanily at his shows.

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Tron: Legacy 'didn't tank', is the #1 movie in the USA


Tron: Legacy is some new Disney movie abt electro, computer games, robots, 3d, and other weird crap that people who drink Mountain Dew would like. However, it seems like Disney did a 'good enough job' of marketing the new Tron movie in order 2 make ppl go see it so it was #1 at the box office.

Tron Legacy raked in an estimated $43.6 million on approximately 5,600 screens at 3,451 locations

Wonder if Daft Punk made 'the right decision' by co-branding themselves with this movie. Feel like it still didn't get a lot of mainstream Avatar-level buzz, so not sure if mainstreamers <3 the Daft Punk brand even more now.

Disney tackled the challenging sell of Tron Legacy by bombarding the public with a massive marketing campaign, hoping to hook viewers with its father-son storyline and the razzle dazzle of its visual effects, even if it didn't make a lick of sense to the uninitiated. Predictably, Legacy's audience skewed heavily male (66 percent), according to Disney's exit polling, and 75 percent was aged 18 years and older.

Which do u think is a more powerful way 2 get people in 2 see ur movie: having a niche electro band do the soundtrack, or 'include the Disney logo' on ur movie poster + have a 'massive marketing campaign'?

Do u think modern movies just 'cheat' 2 get people in2 theatres by using the whole '3D gimmick' which elevates ticket prices and makes studios more $$$?

The 3D illusion was a big part of Tron Legacy's advertising, and 2,424 locations presented the picture in the format, accounting for 82 percent of the gross. That included 234 IMAX 3D venues, which made up 24 percent of the gross. Last year, Avatar had a 71 percent 3D share at a smaller 3D location count (2,038).

Is the IMAX 3D experience 'amazing' or just 'straight up lame'?
Did u see TRON: LEGACY?
Did it 'crush it'?
Was TRON just a 'big pile of crap' that ppl still went 2 go see?
Did Daft Punk 'carry the movie'?
Will Daft Punk some how get 'an Oscar' for 'Best Original Score', or will they lose to Toy Story for "You've Got a Friend In Me"?
Will they show up 2 the Oscars in robot costumes?
Will Thomas Banghalter get an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, or is Christian Bale an automatic lock 4 his role in The Fighter as a crack addict?

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