Lady Gaga was seen riding metaphorical slutwaves in some pool with some bro. I am not sure what his personal brand is all about, or how he was able to 'snag' a rich ass famous lady like Lady Gaga. I think she must be into the 'prince and the pauper' type of relationships, where she feels like she is a rich, rare, valuable resource, and she is giving some 'loser' the time of his life.
Lady Gaga took a break from touring on Monday to hit the pool at Houston's St. Regis hotel with her on again boyfriend, Luc Carl. Between kisses and more PDA, bikini-clad Gaga and Luc battled friends in a game of chicken, and it looks like the singer came out victorious.
Seems like they are mad conceptual/progressive. This seems like a 'very freaky' version of 'dry humping.'
wonder 'who the hell' that bro is.
Luc is the object of Gaga's affection currently, though, and she's spent a lot of her downtime over the last few weeks hanging out with him in NYC, where he works as a bartender in the East Village.
Damn. Bartender in the East Village. Wonder if that is 'more alt' than bartending in Brooklyn?
Do u ever have dry humping fantasies in pools?
Have u ever had sex in a pool? What safety concerns are there?
Do u wish u could be in a relaish with a famous/indie celeb even though u work a shittie job?
Should I get a job as a bartender 2 'pick up chicks' and 'get a beer bellie'?
I have always wondered what it will be like to work at a cutting edge Web 3.0 company. I would have a chill office with tons of zany toys and gadgets on my desk. I would have free food and drink, free dry cleaning, and maybe even a 'happy ending' tug job lounge. It seems like Facebook Inc is a sweet workplace, except they also book 'buzzbands' and 'famous people' to come in and talk to their employees so that their employees feel 'special' and 'in touch' with famous human memes. Feel like maybe they should build a glass isolation cell for Lindsay Lohan in the middle of their office, and let employees feed her animal crackers and raisins.
N e ways here is some video of Kanye West in the facebook offices, doing some 'slam poetry.' I'm not sure what the definition of 'slam poetry' is, but I think it is just 'emotional rapping without music.' Might start a slam poetry club for the ethnic kids at my local high school.
A few facebooks employees got out their iPhone 4G phonecams and recorded this bro rapping on a table. Can't really tell if this is a 'good' performance, or if it is just the same as every other hiphop rap song. Feel like I would be mad annoyed if Kanye West strolled into my workplace. I would be like, 'listen bro. I don't have time for this bullshit. I need to work on enhancing the POKE functionality [via Poke 3d].'
Anyways, Kanye West seems like he is 'coming back'. I feel like he is probably going to make his brand seem 'raw' and 'humble' this album cycle, so it will probably be boring. Themes of 'redemption' and 'overcoming demons.' Sorta hope he just melts down again, for the sake of the blogosphere.
Do u wish u worked at Facebook Inc?
Is this where they filmed the popular edgy film THE SOCIAL NETWORK?
Do u think Myspace Inc employees only get to see screamo bands?
Do u think Twitter Inc employees only get to see Justin Bieber?
What is ur workplace like? Do they book buzzbands to help improve employee morale?
Is Kanye West one of the top 5 human memes living right now [via autoblog content]?
Not sure what is happening in this video. Seems like Justin Bieber is chilling in some sort of mall parking lot, riding a segway, trying to 'run for his life' 2 escape from a bunch of tween girls. I am not sure if he is just trying to 'be an asshole' to prove how 'in Demand' he is, or if this is some sort of viral marketing attempt. Like they hired the director of the Blair Witch project to make this viral video look 'raw and edgy.'
A lot of people have been dying / 'in great harm of danger' at raves lately, so I feel like I can just say that this is a 'rave' since it seems like an insane 'human safety hazard.' Seems like either Bieber will get trampled by fans, then they will chop his body into pieces to sell on eBay, or a few tweens might crush eachother while trying to reach the Biebinator. From what I understand, tween skulls aren't 'fully developed', so they are easier to crush. They basically have 'the soft skull' of an infant, since they are still learning how 2 use social media.
Worried about raves. Feel like concert organizers really need to 'get their shit together' and minimize danger. Feel like every1 just needs 2 chill out, and realize that we can just listen to MP3s in the comfort & safety of our own homes.
Wish Bieber would just 'chill out', and his handlers would buy him 'top tier, curvy ass' prostitutes, instead of letting him feel validated by the attention of these 'still developing tween fans.'
Worried about stampedes
Worried about deaths [via trampling]
Worried about tween skulls being crushed by tween feet.
Worried abt tween pop stars
Worried that JBieber's 'peen' might get 'chomped off' by a tween girl who doesn't know how to 'give proper blow jobs.'
Just wish these raves would be illegal so no1 in the world would overdose and/or get trampled to death any more. Feel like the American government needs to 'shut down' raves and/or Justin Bieber.
Worried abt safety.
Do yall think if we put all of the tweens in America in one huge mall, they would create a society where different stores are their 'homelands', and there would be wars between different 'countries/shops' in order to create a perfect tween society?
Would u be 'ashamed' of your daughter if she died in a Justin Bieber trampling accident?
Would u rather have ur daughter be 'obsessed with Twilight' or 'obsessed with Justin Bieber'?
Do u want to be a famous tween so u can get unlimited tween lips on ur sexual organs, or are u afraid that u will be chased down + killed?
LeBron James is an NBA basketball super star African American athlete who wants to have 'the greatest personal brand in the history of personal brands.' This brand will allow him to make tons of money, and be so famous that he basically gets everything for free. This summer, the American media has been dominated by talks of 'where' LeBron James will go, since he will bring tons of buzz + dollars to a local economy.
Many expected him to join NBA teams like the Miami Heat and the Chicago Bulls, looking to win NBA Championships. It seems like he 'threw the entire sports world' a massive curveball, deciding instead to retire from the game of basketball, and instead pursue a more organic form of buzz, fame, and social acceptance. Giving up the NBA and millions of dollars and mainstream fame for the difficult, sometimes 'insane' world of blog indie rock. Many mainstreamers and ESPN sports bros don't really understand 'why' he turned his back on them.
Said James, "I just really vibed mad hard to the chillwave movement, and realized there was something out there more important than the NBA. I want to be relevant in the buzz bloggiasphere. Tons of cool shit goin on there, even my main man Jay-Z is into all that white shit."
Joining Animal Collective might be one of the most important decisions in the history of the indiesphere. Animal Collective already has a 'championship team', usually scoring 9.0s and above from Pitchfork. The addition of LeBron James aids their cause, hoping to reach the illustrious 10.0, which is usually reserved for re-issues of classic albums by the Beatles and Pavement.
There was a wave of speculation as to which buzzband LeBron James would join. He was about to join Vampire Weekend, but since he didn't go to college, he didn't really fit in with their brand. Other reports claim that LeBron James was about to join the Kings of Leon, and they would have changed their name 2 'The Kings of LeBron.' Many record executives claimed that LeBron would replace Andrew VanWyngarden as the lead singer of management. Rumors out of left field had LeBron starting a chillwave supergroup with Toro Y Moi and Washed Out.
Here is a video of LeBron James 'stuffing' Kobe Bryant, which many analysts expect him to do to rival buzzbands.
LeBron James has a unique skillset, size, and youth which will be needed to reinvigorate Animal Collective as they climb into their upper 30s. Many blog insiders claim that AnCo's personal brands are getting too old, and adding a younger, African American member will help them appeal to a wider base of fans (the tweens and the blacks). It is AnCo's goal to become a weekly trending topic on twitter.
Many say that LeBron James 'cant even play an instrument', but sources close to Panda Bear say that they have a great plan for building the band's future around LeBron James. They will utilize his 'dunking ability' to replace video visualizations that usually appear behind the band on stage. Instead, LeBron will shoot hoops, and do sick dunks to keep the crowd on their feet.
AnCo's record label Domino is reported to have ordered 10 basketball hoops to place around the crowd during the live show, encouraging fans to 'get active', shoot some baskets, and possibly even see the band/LeBron interact with the crowd. In order to build the brand, Animal Collective will look to sponsor 3-on-3 tournaments before their shows to make more money off Gatorade/Vitamin Water/5-hour-energy concessions.
While there are many losers in the LeBron James signing (such as Cleveland, other buzzbands, the NBA, the sport of basketball), it is an undeniable win for the entire indiesphere. LeBron James + AnCo teaming up is estimated to add at least 1 billion pageviews per year for the indiesphere, enabling blogs to make more advertising revenue and expand into larger media conglomerates.
What do u think of the LeBron James signing?
Which buzzband did u think LeBron was going 2 join?
Was LeBron better suited to join another buzzband?
Will Animal Collective be a better band with LeBron?
Will LeBron and Panda Bear have solid chemistry?
Will a member of AnCo request to be traded to another band?
Is this a 'huge win' for the indiesphere or a a huge loss for the mainstream sportosphere?
R u expecting to see LeBron James doing 'sweet dunks' next time u see Animal Collective play?
Lindsay Lohan is a popular hipster icon, in touch with tons of elements of the alt scene like 'fucking', 'cumming', 'partying', 'doing blow', 'scissoring', and 'posing sluttily in pix.' N e ways, not sure what exactly she did, but I think she is 'going to jail.' She had a dramatic trial, similar to that movie "To Kill a Mockingbird"/"A Time To Kill" starring Harper Lee and Sandra Bullock.
The video is the 'epic showdown' between the lawyer, the prosecutor, and the judge. You can really sense the 'racial tension' in the courtroom, since there are African Americans in the video. It seems like her lawyer sorta 'rolls over', understanding that her client is 'mad fucked', then the judge is like 'ur ass is grass', then Lindsay starts to plea/beg/cry. It sound like a rich/spoiled person trying to get out of trouble after they did something obviously wrong and they know 'money can't save them n e more.' Wonder if Lindsay shoulda hired OJ Simpson's defense team, or maybe she doesn't have enough money.
Feel like maybe should could chill in a Bronco chase to 'get more famous' though.
It seems like she is 'going to the slammer', possibly for life. Wonder if she killed some1 or something. Not sure if she is going to a 'real jail', like the kind u see in movies, or if she is going to the 'soft shit', like where u get to watch TV and browse myspace all day. Wonder if she will like it there. Chill food, tons of pussie, possibly some drugs.
R u gonna miss Lindsay Lohan's sweet vibes?
Is Lindsay Lohan 'too alt' 4 society?
Should more people 'cry' to try to get out of jail, kinda like how women cry 2 get out of speeding tickets?
Is Lindsay 'guilty' and does she deserve life in prison?
Do yall think Lindsay Lohan is the most talented indie female singer of our generation?
Should I be an 'indie songstress' for Halloween?
Not sure 'who actually likes'/'respects' Passion Pit as a relevant band. I think they are sort of representative of the modern model of bands who are 'marketed as indie buzzbands' but are ultimately monetized/plugged in to the mainstream machine. Feel like they 'trick' tons of larger blogs/magazines into blogging about them like 'a buzz band' when they are actually just 'a marketing experiment.' Passion Pit is a man made buzz band.
N e ways, Passion Pit did this remix of a mainstream Katy Perry song called "California Gurls." It is probably some sort of 'requirement' of their major label record contract or something. Song sux/isn't really worth listening to, just felt like writing this post to 'hammer'/'make fun of' Passion Pit and all of their fans. Feel worried for their next ablum. Wonder if Pitchfork is gonna give them a 4.0 or a 9.0. Gonna be really bleepy bloopy in a ghey poppy way.
Feel like the original "California Girlz" song reminds me of a blog house song from the blog house era. Sound better than the pointless Pashy Pit version.
Do yall like Katy Perry's slutwave pop brand, or is she 'trying 2 hard'?
Does she have an advantage over most females in music because she has 'huge knockers'?
Should Best Coast write more anthems about California to be more like Katy Perry?
Are California Girls 'effing sluts'?
What kind of people 'actually like' Passion Pit?
Do u <3/h8 Passion Pit?
Do u wish more indie starts had 'a rack as big as Katy Perry's'?
Is "California Girlz" trying 2 hard to be a 'mainstreamer summer anthem'?
Magazine covers are sorta like printed internet memes that companies are still trying to sell even though the business model is 'quickly dying.' Seems like it is still a chill way for 'authentic photographers' to get paid + showcase their art in hi-res format, but seems like blogs/websites are a better way to consume music news + opinions, since u can stream mp3s from websites and not via paper.
Rolling Stone, the Pitchfork of the 1960s and 1970s, seems to have put Lady Gaga on the cover of their magazine. She is known as the leader of the modern slutwave movement, taking over for previous slutwave pop legends like BritBrat Spears, Madonna, and the women of the Lilith Fair. On the cover, she is posing 'bare assed' with some machine gun bras. Not even sure what her vibe is supposed to be about. Maybe like 'i am a slut. i will metaphorically fuck u then kill u.' Sorta not even 'getting hard' 4 her.
Feel like you 'get' the essence of the magazine just by viewing the cover, but u can always just look at the cover in .jpg format, instead of actually going to your local news stand and purchasing the magazine. Who will buy this magazine? Lonely females? Hornie teens? Will some store like WalMart 'refuse to stock it' because it is too sexual and give the issue 'more press'? Is Larry Gaggy 'trying 2 hard'?
'Sex sells. Violence sells.'
- the makers of the popular video game Grand Theft Auto/snuff films
Wonder what Lady Gaga's plan to stay relevant is going to be. Feel like her body is just gonna get old, but she will stay the same. Worried about her. Wonder if Jay-Z would be more successful if he 'got naked' more often and showed off penis + his muscular frame. Seems more chill to be a bro in music instead of a female in music.
Should Lady Gaga have used more bubbles to make a bubble nudity meme?
Did Christina Mexiluera have the most authentic 'slut' phase?
Is Brittney still #1 in ur slut power rankings?
Do naked bros sell magazine covers?
Should I start a magazine and have the first issue be a 'cock pic'?
adidas made some commercial, and I am not sure what it has to do with the World Cup. I think we are sorta in a phase where every 'high budget' commercial has to be aimed at 'getting tons of youtube plays' on the internet by people who aren't even interested in soccer/football/the world cup / adidas. I guess adidas feels pressure from Nike, since Nike always makes better commercials than they do.
adidas basically put Daft Punk, Snoop Dogg, some guy from Oasis, David Beckham, and a few other famous ass holes who appeal 2 different demographics in this video. Felt 'pressure' to blog about it, since it was such a strategically created meme. Overall feel like it is 'boring.' Star Wars is chill/memorable after riding a chillwave for a few hours, but still just feel 'whatever' towards this video just because I am too young for the Star Wars brand to 100% resonate with me. Like it was theoretically 'successful' but didn't really even add anything substantive to the brand, except maybe that they were willing 2 pay LucasArts to use Star Wars footage.
Do u think this meme is 'phenomenal'?
Is Nike better at commercials than adidas?
Who is adidas' target market?
Did this commercial 'do anything for u'?
Was it 'good branding' or just some blog fodder?
Is Star Wars 'authentic'?
Jay-Z attended a baseball game with Eminem, where the New York Yankees played against the Detroit Tigers. I am not sure if this was some sort of 'promotional' stunt or something, but I'm not really interested in Jay-Z and his music because he is a mainstream artist. Feels like tons of blogs 'cream' over his music, though, but it makes me confused because most of the blogs I read are 'white, indie blogs', then they will write about rap and use words like 'represent, 'respect', and 'sliggas be sliggin.'
I remember back when Jay-Z used to be into indie bands. He'd go watch Beach House [link] and the XX [link]. He'd chill around the festival grounds of Coachella. He would watch indie buzzband Grizzly Bear at Brooklyn and 'get his dance on.' [link]
I feel sad that it was all just a joke. I get really pumped when mainstream artists and celebrities are into alternative culture, because it makes me feel like 'we' are right about the best music in the world. Feel let down that Jay-Z is a turncoat on indie music. Wonder if he is just 'using' the indiesphere to get authentic credibility. Feel like 'every1 in the world likes him', but I feel not very into him.
Whatevz. Have fun at ur baseball game with the wigger horrorcore rapper M&Ms.
R u pissed at Jay-Z?
Was he always mainstream, just sorta 'misleading' us?
Do u think he really likes indie bands, or was he just trying to get Pitchfork coverage?
Is Eminem going to start listening to the XX?
Will Jay-Z rap over the next Grizzly Bear album?
Do u think Jay-Z is only 'into' indie bands just to be nice to Beyonce and Solange?
From what I understand, Hanson used to be a band of three brothers from Oklahoma that consisted of tweens before the 'tween' demographic became a legitimate consumer force in America, since they all got cell phones + high speed internet. They were sorta like The Jonas Brothers, except the music marketing machine was kinda different in the late 1990s [via VH1 alt rock bands].
Hanson seems like they are 'making a comeback.' They cut their hair so they don't seem like 'inbred white trash' any more.
Wonder if Hanson is a 'relevant' band, or if they are just trying 2 be some sort of ironic meme, sort of like Rick Astley's career [via Rick Rolling]. Might try to 'save major labels' by converting their old starts into internet memes and getting licensing fees / iTunes sales bumps.
Not sure if Hanson will ever 'break free' of their previous image, no matter how 'soulful' they try 2 be, or how 'talented' as musicians that they want 2 prove that they are. Wonder if their new video would have been 'cutting edge' in 1993.
Here is a video from their previous hit, MMMBops, which achieved 'Best New Music' status on the popular website Pitchfork Media.
Do u think buzz bands in the modern indiesphere are starting 2 sound like Hanson, except 'fuzzier'?
I think the song MMMBop is actually commentary on how short the lifespan of buzzbands can be:
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?
Wonder if Hanson are the 'founding fathers of chillwave.'
Do u think Hanson will 'crossover' and reach a new audience? Do u think inserting Weird Al Yankovic into their video was a good decision, or should they have booked the modern version of him? (Andy Samberg)
Is Hanson a relevant buzz band?
Do yall think Taylor Hanson is hotter than Joanna Newsom / Zooey Deschanel?
Should Hanson 'grow out their hair' again?
Is Taylor Hanson a 'cool dad'?
Should he make his kids form a band, sort of like Michael Jackson's father Joe Jackson?
Does Taylor Hanson still 'look like a bitch'?
Tiger Woods recently cheated on his wife and banged a bunch of whores, escorts, strippers, skanks, and professional sex women. He is currently making a 'comeback' from his downward spiral, about to play the popular white person sport GOLF again.
Nike created a new commercial trying to 'capitalize' on his 'comeback.' The commercial features a sad looking Tiger taking a verbal message from his dead father, Earl Woods. I think they must have contacted him [via the grave] to make this commercial. Feel like his voice sounds 'disappointed', but also kinda 'proud', like his son might be a 'pimp baller' for banging so much sweet, white vagina.
Is Nike 'exploiting' this situation?
Is the Nike marketing wing the 'greatest advertising bros in the history of the world?
Is Tiger 'exploiting' his dad?
Will Tiger Woods ever win the NBA Championship again?
Would this commercial have been cooler if it featured Neon Indian / She & Him / Grizzly Bear?
Did Tiger's dad raise an 'ass hole'?
Did Tiger's dad raise 'the ultimate bad ass'?
R u ashamed of Tiger?
Did Tiger let down black people?
Did Tiger let down white people?
Should Tiger be able to 'bone' any big titted stripper that he wants 2?
Have yall ever done drugs and had sex with some1?
Is Tiger Woods the greatest bro of all time?
Lou Reed is known as a bro from the pre-internet band The Velvet Underground. From what I understand, they are very influential.
Chloe Sevigny is a popular alternative model + actress + designer + Renaissance Woman. It seems like she is probably watching the 'Dot Race' on the jumbotron, but he is thinking about some sort of deep Velvet Underground song.
The two were seen at Madison Square Garden watching the New York Knicks play against the Atlanta Hawks. Wonder if NBA games are a new relevant alternative event. Like a chill party where every1 can wear Snuggies and chill on a 'cold one.'
From what we have researched on Google Images, Chloe Sevigny is a 'die hard' New Yorker, and supports local teams.
She even supports the popular Canadian sport 'hockey.'
Are alt celebs starting to sit 'courtside' to get more exposure? Wonder if mainstream hiphop culture is 'rubbing off' on alt celebs.
Will Vampire Weekend sit courtside at nationally televised games just to create blog buzz?
Will Chloe Sevigny convince LeBron James to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers and sign with the New York Knicks?
Is Chloe Sevigny a chill bro who u can 'watch the game' and 'drink a brewskie' with?
Do u respect the fact that Chloe brings her glasses to the game so she can have a clear view of the action?
Kobe Bryant is an NBA player for the Los Angeles Lakers was formerly accused of raping a woman in Colorado. Since he 'overcame' that public relations disaster, he won some championships, and every one forgot about it, since his 'victim' was possibly just a lying little spoiled white broad. In addition, he had a bitter breakup with his teammate Shaquille O'Neal, and they gave up the opportunity to build a dynasty so that they could be 'alpha dog.
Terry Richardson steps out of his comfort zone to chill with Kobe, since he usually takes 'edgy' pix of rock stars and nude women. He probably should have made Kobe do some sweet 360 dunks, utilizing the 'action shot' style of photography.
Terry Richardson was hired to photography Kobe Bryant for the cover of GQ, a men's magazine. We can only assume that the featured article 'glorifies' the work ethic of Kobe Bryant, makes a few Michael Jordan references, and features some of Kobe Bryant's hollow, generic, passionate statements.
Seems like he got a sweet souvenir that he can sell on eBay.
Lil Wayne is going to jail for doing something that black people/rappers do. I am not sure if it has to do with guns, theft, drugs, or tax evasion, but he had some sort of 'sweet ass party' before he is shipped away.
I feel happy for him, since he got to enjoy the New Orleans Saints' Super Bowl victory with a group of his closest bros.
I wonder if his network of enablers/childhood friends who he 'employs' are worried that they will have to 'get a real job' until he is released.
Seems like they had buffet style weed + cough syrup + top shelf alcohol that has been branded to African Americans. Wonder if he had a 'sick orgy' before getting shipped to jail.
'I wish I could fuck every girl in the world.' -Lil Wayne, 2009
Does Lil Wayne seem like a chill bro?
What would u do the night be4 u got ur ass shipped 2 jail?
Is hiphop culture bad 4 America?
Do rappers get a sweet 'album sales bounce' after they get out of jail?
Will Lil Wayne die within the next 5-10 years?
Do u remember that time Lil Wayne was 'critically acclaimed' and 'deep'?
Do you wish Lil Wayne 'acted more white' like Jay-Z/Kanye?
Not sure if this is true. This gimmick was apparently some 'high priced' commissioned photos for some AZN/Chinese fashion label called Me & City.
The Chinese brand hired them + Glorified Alt Photographer bro Terry Richardson to create a shoot that 'got a lot of blog buzz' for the brand. Wonder if they were paid 'millions' to be the face of the brand.
Seems like the 'concept' is being a Hollywood/domesticated couple, sort of like Pete Wentz + Ashlee Simpson, or maybe Nicole Riche + The Good Charlotte bro.
Do u think they would make a good alt couple, or were they better when Agyness Deyn was in a serious relaish with Albert Hammond Jr. [via Green Aggs and Ham]
Even if they aren't a real couple, do u think they 'got drunk at an afterpartie & ended up messing around a lil bit after having a lot of chemistry on the set'?
Damn. Orlando Bloom. Not sure if he is Alt, or just another post-JudeLaw Bro.
I know Kanye a little bit and that portrait captures something in him I haven't seen before. Whether you like him or not is up to you. That shot is just a simple portrait of a man in a difficult moment in his life and as a artist I would be crazy not to react to that moment (especially if it falls within a mood I'm feeling). I love the contrast that these two portraits create. And lets be honest, we can't assume that this woman is any more or less refined or graceful than Kanye. I think the not really knowing makes portraits all the more fascinating