Hipster Runoff | Hipster Runoff

Hipster Runoff

Might retire.


Thinking about retiring from blogging. Not sure if I 'have it in me' any more.
Feel like 'the scene' is just so negative. Always just been trying to be a chill positive bro. Seems like every1 is 'out to get one another.' I don't even 'have fun any more.'

Feel like I have lost in touch with 'the common man' who reads my blog. Think it 'went corporate.' Damn. Just trying to be 'me.' Trying to build a meaningful brand on the internet.

Worried. Think I possibly have 'blogged about everything possible' in my niche. Wonder if I have already written 'the perfect blog post.'
Might just try to 'see the world' and like 'travel to the other side of the world.' Might live in Paris like that 1 song.
Feel like my blog 'possibly crossed the line.' Remember I got hacked one time, and I thought ' i lost everything.' but now it's like I lost everything, except I did it 2 myself. Not sure if I am 'relevant.' Feel like I am 'just another site on the internet.' Maybe I should have never even started a blogspot.

feel like 'such a fucking fuck up.' Shit.
Worried. Never thrown down 'an emotional blog' before.
Not even sure if I am still an mp3 blog. Don't even know who I am.

Should I just 'retire'?
help me. do I even 'mean' something 2 u?

'do i have a reason 2 be alive?'
-hipster runoff

'why am I here? who am I? what do I believe in?'
-hro

Wish a 'less fortunate' alt would say 'Carles u mean the world 2 me' so I would be 'inspired.'
worried that googlewave will 'change the internet' 4ever.

I am 'hosting' some party in Chicago.

Hey yall. It's me, Carles--a blogger. I am 'hosting' some party in Chicago. Not sure what that means, but I think it means I 'get paid' for 'being a chill bro' and 'lending my brand' to this party. Hope it 'works out.'

Party Flyer:

Major 'Party-Throwing Company' Underwriting the Event: Industreate
Name of Party Brand: Branded Up
Location: Congress Theater Chicago
Date: Friday June 19, 2009
DJs/Performers: The Rapture - dj set, HeartsRevolution, The Rub, DJ Funk, Guns N Bombs presenting the debut of Deathface, Jordan Z, Rob Threezy, Gatekeeper - dj set , Kid Color, Black Holes and Thunderous Olympian
"Hosted by": Trash Menagerie & CARLES of the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF.
Photos by: Clayton Hauck Everyoneisfamous.com
Tickets: $16.00 pre-sale, and $19.00 in advance via TICKETWEB.COM & CLUBTIX.NET
Ticket giveaway: Enter to win tix at Trash Menagerie.

Hope that this partie is 'chill.' Hope that the artists are still 'relevant.'
Sorta just want to chill in Chicago and see if the 'scene' is worth moving to. Looking for a new scene. Just want to meet Michael Jordan.

Does n e 1 know something 'fun' 2 do in Chicago?
Did Carles 'sell out' again?
Will u chill with 'Carles' in Chicago?
Is there a lil bit of Carles inside of every1?

HRO READER SURVEY

1. What makes u happy about HRO?
2. What do u want 2 see in HRO 2.0?
3. What are ur favourite kind of posts?
4. What does Carles need to post more of?
5. What does Carles need to post less of?
6. Is HRO 'about 2 die'?
7. What are the most memorable posts of 2k9?
8. Does HRO 'cross the line'?
9. Should HRO be an ad-free blog? Or have more obtrusive ads?
10. Should I try to 'raise money' because the economie is such a 'cold hard bitch'?
11. Who is the next big band?
12. What is the future of the internet? Does HRO have a place on the internet?
13. What do u want from me?
14. Am I ur bro?
15. Please leave ur race/ethnicity/household income/age/general location / fave food /etc.
16. Should I 'turn off comments' on my blog 2 be more authentic like I am a newspaper/magazine like the Pitchfork strategy?
17. Is it 'kewl' to be 'first' 2 comment on an HRO post?
18. how ru

Please leave yalls feedback. Need yalls help.
Yall are important 2 me. Just wanna make yall happy.

Trying to 'make sense' of my site statistics


Yall. Looking at the cities that visit HRO the most. Trying to 'get a better sense' of who reads HRO.
From what I can tell, people in suburbia do not read HRO. People from 'the city' read HRO. I can conclude that only white people and rich people read HRO, because they live in 'the city' and 'can afford rent/Macbooks.'

Can u find urself in this list?
Are yall 'surprised' by a city that u 'didn't think was THAT authentic?
Still need more demographic info, because I basically 'guessed' this list.

THE TOP 500 CITIES TO VISIT HIPSTER RUNOFF

  1. New York
  2. Chicago
  3. Los Angeles
  4. London
  5. Sydney
  6. San Francisco
  7. Melbourne
  8. Philadelphia
  9. Don Mills (Toronto)
  10. Austin
  11. Seattle
  12. Portland
  13. Washington
  14. Minneapolis
  15. Vancouver
  16. Paris
  17. Atlanta
  18. San Diego
  19. Houston
  20. West Hollywood

Need yalls help

Feeling down. Can yall help 2 cheer me up?

Feeling really 'irrelevant' right now.
Can yall send me pix of yall that remind me who the 'real people' who read my blog are?
Not even sure if people read 'this stupid site' any more.

Think I might turn it into some sort of 're-branding'/'marketing' campaign.
Not even sure who reads this n e more.

Feeling down. Not sure why I even blog n e more.
'Who am I? What do I believe in?'
-a tween trying 2 find out who he is

Also, trying to get some demographic data about who reads this blog. Please leave a comment saying 'what race' u r, and 'where ur from' or any sort of data that that census collects. Please also include household income, the number of computers in ur house, ur level of education, and ur life expectancy.

Best,
Carles

PPS: u can also email me, twitter me, or myspace message me.
carleser [at] gmail.com

Overwhelmed by the Swine Flu


Don't even feel like anything I blog about even matters. When u hear about a story so serious, it's like all of this 'alt music and culture' stuff doesn't even matter, cuz in the end, we're all humans. In case yall haven't heard, there is a strand of the flu going around called SWINE FLU.

Always thought I would get to die of natural causes. Worried about some sort of disease that my body can't 'overcome' ending my life. Hope that I don't have to wear some protective suit for the rest of my life.

Hope that Hollywood makes some movies that capitalize on our 'fear of the unknown' kinda like when they made all of those movies about a meteor hitting Earth.

Feeling pretty human, yall.
I think that within the next year, the tone of my blog will focus on encouraging the human race to start planning a way to get off the Planet Earth before we all die [via global warming]/natural disaster.

Kinda weird when something that is 'viral' actually 'goes viral.'

From what I understand, swine flu came from Mexico because their farms are dirty.
Hope I didn't get swine flu at Coachella. I think that California is close 2 Mexico.
Please use this post to share tips on how 2 avoid 'catching' the swine flu.'

Gonna go do some research. Sorry if this post is underdeveloped. Just learned how 2 use 'google news.' Freaking out.

nvr eating 'bacon' again.

**************
**************

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW 4-27-2009

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

playlist 'after the jump'

Does n e 1 know where this picture was taken?

Yall. Saw this picture. Does n e 1 know where they took it?

a) a meaningful music festival
b) a Paul McCartney concert
c) on the set of American History X
d) at an authentic punk show during the 80s in the greater New York Area
e) Dan Deacon documentary/biopic 'fight scene'
f) Some sort of altbro tribunal lynching
g) a violent SXSW partie
h) a 311 concert
i) on the set of The Wrestler [via Mickey Rourke]
j) from the movie IN TO THE WILD, YALL
k) some sort of 'bear' convention
l) something about the hipster grifter
m) an answer about 'memes'
n) Pitchfork Music Festival
o) at some sort of clinic where people 'donate blood' and/or 'plasma' to get money
p) at a 'Mixed Martial Arts' event that people 'think are bad ass' these days
q) Choose.Your.Own.Response

ugh.. h8 violence & graphic images.
HRO: SFW IN 2K13

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW 4-20-2009

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

Playlist After the Jump

When do yall wanna stop working?

[MP3]
Poney Poney When Do You Want To Stop Working? (Pacific Remix)

Grade: 4.8745 out of 10 runoffs
Review: From what I understand, I am supposed to appreciate pop music from France, like Phoenix and bands like that who 'write well crafted pop, but sing in English.' I think remixes are pretty kewl, too. Think this track is 'nice to have' in ur iPod library. Need 2 blog more about tracks that are 'nice 2 have around' since they are not asking u to consider them the best song ever written. PARA ONE produced the original version of this song and Xavier DeRosnay is apparently producing their next album/produced their old stuff.

MP3 Hijack + original version located at this blog
http://electrorash.com/poney-poney/

More formal information + purchase 12"
http://www.institubes.com/catalog/ins12032/

Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/poneyponey
http://www.myspace.com/musicpacific

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW 4-13-2009

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

Playlist after the jump

CARLES HAS DIED / CARLES IS RISEN / CARLES WILL COME AGAIN


[MP3]

See Post to Stream & Download
</embed>

HIPSTER RUNOFF - Carles Has Died An Original MP3 by Carles of HIPSTERRUNOFF.com

I'm back, yall!
It's me--Carles.
Let's learn 2 meme again.
We've both made a lot of mistakes

The HIPSTER RUNOFF Band's Myspace Page
http://www.myspace.com/hipsterrunoff

everything has a natural life


i see newspapers and magazines
shut down/go bankrupt
and I wonder when blogs will die

when will HRO end?
should HRO have ended _ years ago?
When will all of the memes in the world be blogged?
What happens when the river of meme runs dry?
What happens when bloggers decided 2 unplug from the internet?
what happens if ur favourite blogger gets in a car crash 1 day, and u never hear from him/her again?

Everything dies--even humans
Every thing has a natural life.

Trends/fads/websites that are 'kewl' and 'authentic' can't always stay what u think they are
u grow up. u turn into a different person who values different stuff
something that meant something 2 u at age 13 won't mean as much 2 u at age 29, unless it is 'Coca Cola' or something like that

1 day, no1 will read pitchfork
1 day, no1 will read newspapers
1 day, no1 will eat red meat
1 day, no1 will be the same as they were 2day
1 day, Am Appy will be the official uniform provider of the NFL/poor people
1 day, ur parents will die, and u'll feel 'authentic sadness' 4 the first time ever
1 day, HRO will not exist
u will still be alive. u will only read memes that are 140 characters or less
u will not feel a need 2 'get all social' on the internet

Afraid of the world ending

Afraid. Afraid of losing everything.
Afraid of my site 'dying.'
Afraid of losing sight of 'what's important in life.'
Scared of who I am finding out I am
Is the internet 'my prison.'
Not sure if I have a healthy sense of self [via the internet]

1 day, we will go outside, and hold hands with our neighbors
and say 'we finally did it,
we finally left Iraq
and got national health insurance
and fixed our educational system
and stopped honoring borders and turned the earth in2 1 chill-ass megacountry.'

Feel sad
when magazines died they got to 'turn into websites'
but not even sure what 'dying websites'
can turn into as a gimmick

We will be happy
'Snark' will be dead
Blogs will be dead
Advertisers will find a new medium to 'overpay' for advertising
No1 will have a computer larger than an iPhone
Twitter will have failed/been hacked and all personal memes will be erased

Good nite Moon
We had a good run.
'The End.' -a book

Best of luck,
Carles

We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should

-the fatboy slims, 2012 as the world ends

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This might be a stupid question...but what r DJs doing when they are emotionally 'twisting knobs'?

Photo by LastNightsParty


Yall. Feel stupid to ask 'dumb questions.' Weird how sometimes u just never ask certain questions because you are afraid ur gonna sound stupid for not knowing, but if u asked, u'd realize that 85% of the world was wondering the same thing as u. Our modern educational system has failed because we believe that any one who asks a question is 'an idiot' [via Nappy Dynamite voice].

but srsly.... does n e 1 know what DJs are doing when they are 'twisting knobs' and 'acting all emotional'? Like the lifeforce of a song is flowing through the knobs into their body where their soul meets their body. Wish I knew more DJ techniques. Wish my parents got me DJ lessons as a kid instead of 'piano'/'guitar'/'miscellaneous orchestral instrument' lessons. Sad that I was never talented enough to be in a band, so I wish I could at least play music that makes ppl happy.

Photo by sharkvsbear

While I am asking, can n e 1 else plz explain what DJs are doing when they 'hold 1 headphone up 2 their ear while bobbing their head and looking intently at their computer screen'? Sometimes I wonder if DJs are 'really doing anything' or if they are sort of just 'pretending to be really involved' to make sure that people don't remember that they are 'just playing music from iTunes.'

Still not sure if DJing is an 'art.' Can some1 plz tell me why we need 2 respect DJs/which DJs are 'worth respecting'? Might need to listen to more guido techno electro core house.

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW 4-6-2009

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

Playlist after the jump

Lord of the AltBros -- Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the AltBro

Photo by Cobrasnake


I remember in the book Lord of the Flies, there is a group of bros who get "LOST" on an island. They have no 'societal norms' and break down into tribes who go to war against one another. One tribe is 'violent' and the other one is 'all about peace.' I think it's supposed to be about how we handle being human after all with a 'lil bit of animal' inside of us.

Kinda feel like that's what's happening with altbros. Now that electro is 'kinda dead' and altbro fashion is no longer 'hip', altbros have broken down into tribes who are either peaceful (listen to conceptual core), or they have turned into violent bros, like the one above. They are hungry for blood, and they will use it as war paint / an interesting accessory for personal branding.

Kinda worried that we're gonna see more murders in 2k9 just for the sake of 'using the blood as face paint.' Just think that people get kinda messed up in the quest for authenticity to the point that they are 'murdering their bros' just because they are too insecure to wear their lens-less glasses without a hand print.

miss u altbros.

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

Playlist after the jump.

I am involved in 'throwing a party' at the Winter Music Conference in Miami


Hey yall. There is some party at some hotel that I am 'involved' in 'promoting.' I'm not sure if all of my readership will go, because a lot of yall live in Suburbia. Not sure if I shoulda had a 'sxsw party' or if a WMC party appeals more to the bloghouse genre. Might offer another blog ~$100 to 'piggy back' on to their party so that more mainstreamers can become aware of my brand.

A Party Worth Blogging About
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
RSVP http://www.eatskeet.com/rsvp/
The Gansevoort Hotel Pool Centre
Photos by Miscellanous Alternative Photographers
Music by miscellaneous 'relevant' DJs

Do yall think the flyer is 'authentic'? Is the lineup 'authentic'? Should there be McDonalds cater the event [via 50 piece McNuggets]? Is n e 1 going to WMC, or is that 'too techno' for yall? Are 'music and technology' conferences pyramid schemes/gimmicks? Does n e 1 know if Miami is as fun as that song by Will Smith called 'Miami'? [miss u Gloria Estefan]

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Just want to be less of a 'blog' in 2k9, and more of a 'brand' that 'does stuff' 'in real life.'

Poll Results: HRO IS STILL 'RELEVANT', YALL!


In a previous post, I asked the readers/'the world' 2 tell me whether or not HRO was still 'relevant.' As soon as I am 'not relevant', I will stop blogging, but I am not sure what my cutoff point would be.

Maybe I should do this every 3 months 2 make sure that people still 'like me', because I need approval and positive reinforcement. Yall are probs too afraid 2 admit stuff like that cuz yall r insecure, but unwilling to admit it.

Really feel like I'm 'on top of my game', yall. Sort of like Michael Jordan/Jesus/Barry-Obama-After-He-Saves-The-Economy of blogging, just like 'in the zone' and all of my memes are relevant+hi-level, etc.

Maybe I should 'make a t shirt' or something that 'people could buy', giving me 'more money' and having people 'walk around like they are an HRO billboard' or something like that. Not sure if inauthentic ppl would be representing me poorly, tho.

Do yall know anything about business and eCommerce?

Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'relevant'? [OPEN POLL]

A lot of people ask me 'Carles, is ur blog relevant?' I thought I'd ask the ppl who know best--yall! It's kinda hard to understand 'how important' ur blog is after you've 'come so far' and become 'a blog worth blogging about' or maybe 'a blog that is a bloggable meme. Sometimes I just need 2 ask my readers if I am meeting their expectations.

I know we are recovering from HACKGATE 2k9. So I'm just wondering what yall want me 2 do? Do u want more podcasts? More mp3s? More tweens? More mainstream coverage? More conceptual blogging?

Help me Help yall.

Loading...

///What did yall vote? Might turn the results into 'a graph' or something like that. Do yall like pie charts or bar graphs or line graphs?

This is a post about reader appreciation.

Is Bud Light the next Big Alternative Alcoholic Beverage?

I know we've gone through a Sparks era and a PBR era. However, I saw a picture that represented the alternative communities huge demand for a new alternative beverage of choice. Think this picture is a 'metaphor' for a 'thirst 4 something new.'

[Image via thecobrasnake]
Things are changing soo fast around us. Life is a never ending quest for the best brands 2 align urself with. For example, this broad is 2x 'kewl' cuz she is double nursing these bottles of Bud Light. It is her desire to 'get f*ckt up!' and 'get her partie on.' Have yall ever 'had 2 much 2 drink' just because u were 'desperate 2 have a good time/make a nite meaningful'?

Is ne 1 else unsure of how authentic a beer like BUD LIGHT can be since it was already branded by ______ people?

Should I invest in Miller Light? Is this picture supposed to 'look like that 1 portrait of the Virgin Mary', in order 2 appeal 2 Mexis.

Does n e 1 know any good 'microbreweries'/authentic moonshine makers that are located in the conceptual forest?

Has any1 tried mescaline? Should I just make a gallon of mescaline serum and 'go 2 the desert for 1 week'?

is it still authentic to 'get fuckt up'?
<3 'double fisting'

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ANOTHER SATTY RADIO PLAYLIST

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

Playlist 'after the jump.'

Did HRO rlly get hacked, Carles?

I h8 when people say that I would hack myself.
This is a post where I try 2 explain what happened. Not sure if I can get into what happened 'behind the scenes' cuz I don't really 'get' how the internet works, but trust me it was complicated. Just glad I'm back doing the only thing I know how 2 do since I think I'm 'too special' and my mind is 'too beautiful' to handle a desk job.

Yall. I thought I lost everything there for a moment. Fortunately, I was able to get my blog back with the help of a lot of people. Special thanks to Jakob Lodwick, the Gawker technical support team, Michael Arrington, David Karp, the Connected Ventures IT staff, Sergey Brin, the bro who invented the HypeMachine, and the Computer Science department at Parsons for helping me get HRO back.

It was the most difficult experience of my young life. However, I'm back with a new lease on life. It's like u don't realize how much something means to u until it is 'hacked'/taken away from u. Would sorta be like ur facebook profile being taken away from u with some1 else controlling 'who u r' instead of urself. Not sure if that has ever happened 2 yall.

Carles is back with a new podcast which addresses many questions u might have about the hacking.
(Note: Plz believe me. Trust in me. Trust in Carles. The hacking was authentic. It wasn't a viral marketing scheme. Why don't u believe me?)

[DOWNLOAD NOW] (zshare link)


'be urself' - a marketing campaign 4 tweens against drugs created by Carles, Sr. in 19k81.

Previous Podcasts
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/hipster-runoff-podcast

Feels good 2 be back, yall.
missed u
//learning how 2 blog again
//learning how 2 podcast again

Ask questions if yall have them and I will try to make sure that I have ur trust back. miss yall.

This is Carles.


They say u don't realize how much something means 2 u
until u lose it
or it gets hacked
or ur compy crashes and 'ur whole life is on there'
or a member of ur immediate family dies.

hi.
learning how 2 blog again.
this is carles

<3 CRLS

Thnx 4 being my true bro. <3 u

The Rebranding of HIPSTER RUNOFF


In 2k9, I will work hard to rebrand HIPSTER RUNOFF. I recently talked to a brand manager who charged me $500 and he told me that it was necessary to build a brand that 'every1 wants 2 be friends with.' He told me that I need to be more accepting of people from all kinds of backgrounds, no matter what they looked like, the colour of their skin, or if they had physical or mental disabilities.

It was tough, but I'm starting 2 listen 2 him. Let me know what you think about my rebranding PR campaign. Just trying to let every1 know that they can be alt if they put their minds to it. Even the most mainstreamest black person in a wheel chair could be alt if they wanted 2, right yall?

Welcome to the Hipster Runoff! a place for every1 / society's 'leftovers'.

Found this flowchart and I think I might find out what it means and make it corporate policy.

Just want 2 hire people who are all different colours and sizes, so that we get a lot of different backgrounds+perspectives analyzing the problems we have and coming up with meaningful solutions. the actual solution isn't as important as the fact that we 'overcame' together even though we're all different and some of us came from divorced families.

Need 2 make sure every1 has the right to become the 44th President.

Need 2 do more meaningful graphic design.

Here is another flowchart that I am thinking of implementing/turning into more money so I can hire another staff writer.

This is a graph about white guilt.

This is a meme using American Apparel colours as a metaphor for people's skin colour.

Need 2 UNITE my readers instead of finding out about comment wars and how HRO commenters are trying 2 kill 1 another.

Gotta do more to reach out to suburban tweens who are going through an internal crisis/realizing that they h8 their 'cookie cutter life' in suburbia that they were born in2.

Yall. Please don't spend time commenting about how inauthentic HRO readers are getting. Instead, try to be more positive. Welcome them! Encourage them to become part of this brilliant community of trendsettings and beautiful minds! If u think about it, every1 has a beautiful mind in their own way.

HRO CARES
HRO GIVES A SHIT ABT U 'AS A PERSON'
HRO IS HERE 4 U
HRO JUST HIRED HUMAN RESOURCES STAFF
HRO WANTS MORE COLOUREDS AND TWEENS ON HRO
HRO 'GETS' U

//// This is the rebranding of HRO.
Want u 2 feel 'welcome.'
This is ur home away from home, yall.

This post is not good enough.

This post is intended to 'not meet your expectations.' The HIPSTER RUNOFF brand is meant to be authentic, insightful, and enlightening. Ultimately, it is an amorphous brand which can be 'anything that you want it to be.' However, I cannot be "every thing to every one" [via that EVERCLEAR song].

As HIPSTER RUNOFF continues to meet traffic goals, and expand, you will feel 'less unique' reading this blog. However, I am trying to work my way into your 'daily routine' on the internet so that you 'feel obligated' to consume the memes which HRO generates. Am I trying 2 'take over ur mind' or am I just 'trying 2 generate ad impressions'? I am not sure who I am or what I am trying 2 do. What should I do?

"What do u want from me?" - a person 'having a breakdown' in a mainstream film
Why do you come to the HIPSTER RUNOFF dot-com?
What does HRO mean 2 u?
Is HRO going 2 be too mainstream in 2k9?
Will u stop reading it?
Should I turn my website into a Microsoft Word document?

[Photo via SharkVsBear]

Dress me up
Make me pretty
Think the world of me
Cum on me
and in me
and on my face
and 'dehumanize me'
Find a new hole
Just as long
as u don't leave me
If it makes u happie
it can't be that bad
I feel s0 alone
in this world
even though 'the world' is 'watching me'
and gives me feedback [via comments]
if only they realized
that I am 'just a blog'
and I will never be
human after all.

-probably from a Madonna song when she was 'trying 2 be sexie' before she got all old

What HRO fans will look like in 2k11

U have officially 'made it' when teen boys will write that they <3 u on their bodies.

-the Jonas Brothers ft. Kurt Cobain

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In 2k10, I will use the power of my tween+teen audience to inject a youthful, less jaded spirit into our modern world. We will reunite around a series of common goals, and won't quit our mission until our dreams become reality.

We can do this together, yall. Not gonna lie. I need yalls help.
This is my new internship program.

We need 2 put together a plan 2 'go viral' 2gether [via going mainstream].
Let me know if u have any suggestions so I can mail u a starter kit.

HRO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES


Hello,
My name is Sanjay, Director of IT, Finance, and HR for the Hipster Runoff Web Company Network. Please excuse some of the recent slowness. With the recent surge of mainstreamers interested in reading about Animal Collective and a recent boost in ad money from Pizza+Fashion based sponsors, we have been experiencing some network overages.

Fortunately, our team is hard at work repairing the issues. You might even already be familiar with our team. Due to 'the economy', we have been using 'the economy' as an opportunity to lay off workers who spend all day pretending to work and reading blogs on the internet.

We are using the savings to open up new facilities which will help us to produce 3dimensional content, and new social experiments.

In 2k9, we will roll out a Team of Outsourced Meme Generators. We hope that after they read every single HRO post, they will be able to 'replicate Carles.'. It is our goal to cut out Carles from the Runoff, and make the memes appeal to a wider audience. Carles has been demanding a pay raise, and was considering putting a 'donate 2 me, yall!' paypal button in the overcrowded sidebar.

This is TEAM MEME [Beta].

If you ever experience any outages in HRO service, please contact Technical Support. If you are interested in joining Team Meme, please contact us. We are actively seeking Meme Generators.

Thanks for your continued interest in HIPSTER RUNOFF. As we continue to make this formerly 'authentic alt' website more mainstream, we appreciate your transition to 'mainstream' status as well. We had a good run. Thanks for the memories. We are also considering a layout change and usage of the font COMIC SANS or 'The Times of the New Roman Empire.'

Thanks,
Dr. Sanjay Gupta

HIPSTER RUNOFF Presents 2k8's Most CMMNTd Posts

HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for discussion. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for commenting. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a for some of the most important social commentary in the world. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for progressive ideas. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for cmmntrs to 'talk like Carles.' HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for rash reactions. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place 2 express urself after Carles expresses himself. Commenting is an opportunity for you to align your personal brand with a single post. Each post a meaningful parcel of information. PART OF A BLOG POST NEVER DIES (therefore PART OF UR CMMNT NVR DIES). Thought yall might appreciate this info. Kinda weird how sometimes I spend 2 minutes on a post (basically sharting out a low level alt meme), and it gets more cmmnts than 'a hi level meme/post that I spent time compiling.'

UPDATE: LINKS WORK NOW. SORRY YALL. DON'T 'GET' HTML.

  1. 178 comments Who Are the World’s Best DJs?
  2. 132 comments TV on the Radio Gimmick Post
  3. 127 comments 1st Post about HIPSTER RUNOFF sirius show
  4. 115 comments Which shoe company represents U?
  5. 109 comments WTF IS BLOGHOUSE?
  6. 104 comments Austin + Portland Analysis
  7. 102 comments I’m thinking about doing blow 4 the first time
  8. 90 comments Should I move 2 Portland
  9. 88 comments Pissing Alt Broads
  10. 85 comments My Relaish with Girl Talk
  11. 84 comments Amy Core’s Beached Whale sexie dance
  12. 83 comments Pitchfork starts war with Electro (Steve Aoki gimmick post)
  13. 80 comments Sparks Eulogy
  14. 73 comments HIPSTER RUNOFF BINGO
  15. 72 comments Bro Gets Stabbed in a Party Pic
  16. 70 comments Blipster Bingo
  17. 70 comments What is the most authentic alt job?
  18. 70 comments Artists 2 watch: David Matthews Bands
  19. 65 comments The Proud Grin of an Entry Level Alt
  20. 65 comments I Wish they Had Macbooks when I was a tween
  21. 63 comments What is a lifestyle brand?
  22. 63 comments Sparks Memorial
  23. 62 comments Meaningfulcore bands
  24. 62 comments Election Day Post
  25. 62 comments AltBag
  26. 61 comments Post where yall told me what the best HRO posts are
  27. 61 comments Bands 2 watch: Savage Garden
  28. 61 comments Art School Commentary
  29. 61 comments AmyCore Paper Planes
  30. 60 comments Post about Mexicalts/Altinos/Brokencyde
  31. 60 comments Is talking like HRO bad for ur personal brand?
  32. 60 comments <3 // h8 // Miss: The theory that changed HRO
  33. 60 comments Electroma = Poop
  34. 59 comments I’m lil and I smoke weed, yall
  35. 59 comments Human After Yall
  36. 59 comments Bands 2 watch: The Postal Services
  37. 58 comments King of Leon AltBro or Altbag
  38. 58 comments A s00 random post about ‘the past’
  39. 57 comments Ableton Live
  40. 57 comments Tween Alt’s Birthday Party on Cobrasnake
  41. 57 comments Simpsons Alts
  42. 57 comments Post with the penises of Kevin Barnes & Devendra Barnhart
  43. 56 comments Some FGGTS made a Postal Service music video
  44. 55 comments That alt with the moustache
  45. 54 comments AltBro or AltBGGT
  46. 54 comments THNXGVNG
  47. 54 comments Matt and Kim video that is an indie cliche
  48. 53 comments Entry Level AltBro or Altbag
  49. 53 comments Girl Talk is a PC
  50. 53 comments Mexialts
  51. 53 comments MSTRKRFT can fix any song theory
  52. 52 comments Girls who went out dressed as D.V.N.O. but then asked me 2 take their pic down
  53. 52 comments Rave or Die
  54. 52 comments FGGT or Eurotrash
  55. 51 comments My authentic Life is full of Authentic Props in my Authentic Apartment
  56. 50 comments Failed Alternative Marketing: Pitchfork + Southern Comfort gimmick video piece
  57. 50 comments Girl Talk + Full House gimmick post
  58. 50 comments Australia AltBro Theory
  59. 50 comments gimmick post on Super Mario Brothers 3
  60. 48 comments S00 stressed--h8 finals!
  61. 48 comments Polar Bears are the new Panda Bears
  62. 46 comments ALT Bingo

After processing this information, it is clear that my most valuable posts are about ___________. It will be important for me to post about ________ at least once a week, in order to generate discussion/ad impressions. I should cut back on posts about _________ because no1 cares. It's clear that ______ is a popular topic/gimmick that needs more attention. I will explore it more in 2k9. When a post gets __+ comments, that means it is relevant commentary on a modern issue. Or it means that I posted a picture of __________ (human body part). Whenever I blog about ________, you can tell that people from ________ (city) get defensive and feel like they have to justify their existences. Glad they found my blog from a local newspaper/blog who 'thought my post was an unfounded outrage.' People also like to gawk at pictures from events like ________. I hope I get to attend one some day. Overall it was a good 2k8. Hopefully I can keep 'producing results' by blogging more about ________ and less about _________. Carles reads (all/none/some) of your comments, so he definitely appreciates ur feedback. Every comment is a love note. Do U <3 HRO?

THE BEST OF...HIPSTER RUNOFF

Carles is one of the most important bloggers in the history of the blogosphere. His posts are consistently meaningful in a meme economy where memes are forgotten within hours of posting. His memes and posts digg deep into your alternative soul, and stay with you forever. It's difficult to do what Carles does--he's consistent, empathetic, and his writing transcends anything ever done by any other human. After every post, an army of entry level commenters leave comments like 'nice post' or 'this post sucks.' No other blog is critiqued like a work of art on a daily basis. HIPSTER RUNOFF is more than just a meme pooper.

As the year 2k8 winds down, we will take some time to celebrate the year behind us. We will help Carles to find out which of his posts made the biggest impact on the alternative eCommunity. While there is a sidebar full of 'memorable posts', only the readers know which posts are memorable. Help HIPSTER RUNOFF. Let HRO know which posts were memorable 2 u.

Foreward by Carles, CEO, CFO, COO, Online Editor of HIPSTER RUNOFF


What was ur favourite post of 2k8?
What was ur least favourite post of 2k8?
What does Carles need 2 change in 2k9?
Is HRO 'too formulaic now'?
Should Carles post a suicide vlog on vimeo/youtube?
Will HRO die in 2k9?
What does HRO mean 2 u?

<3 u / h8 u / miss u

HIPSTER RUNOFF + Sirius XM Satellite Radio


Hey yall. I got a Satellite Radio show. If yall drive cars with leather interiors, yall can listen 2 me. It's a great opportunity 4 me 2 take my 'blog brand' 2 the next level, and get a lot of people to read my blog who don't even know what 'weblog' means. Yall get 2 hear me talk. Most of yall won't.

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you're an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

THIS WEEK'S PLAYLIST

  • Tough Alliance Neo Violence (Shazam Remix)
  • Vampire Weekend - The Kids Don't Stand a Chance (Chromeo Remix)
  • Friendly Fires - Paris
  • Animal Collective - People
  • Broken Social Scene - Cause = Time
  • Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
  • Felix Da Housecat - Ready 2 Wear
  • Miami Horror - Make You Mine
  • Panda Bear - Comfy in Nautica
  • Phoenix -Too Young
  • Friendly Fires - Paris (Aeroplane Remix Feat Au Revoir Simone)
  • Sebastian Tellier - La Ritournelle (Metronomy Remix) [MP3]
  • Thieves Like Us - Drugs in my Body
  • The Walkmen - Thinking of a Dream I had
  • We Have Band - Oh!
  • Pnau - Embrace (featuring Ladyhawke)
  • MGMT - Of Moons Birds and Monsters (Holy Ghost! Remix)
  • Elliott Smith - Needle in the Hay
  • Holy Ghost! - Hold On [MP3]
  • M83 - Kim & Jessie [MP3]
  • Feist - 1234 (Van She Remix)
  • Interpol - Untitled
  • Sneaky Soundsystem - When We Were Young (Breakbot Remix)
  • Digitalism - Apollo-Gize (Breakbot Remix)

Is my playlist kinda weak/too mnstrm?
Are yall excited?
Does this mean that I have 'made it' as an MP3 blog?
Does this mean I have better taste in music than u?
Is my radio show just a meme?
Should I start podcasting?
Are yall 'excited 4 Carles' or 'kinda disappointed' or 'a lil jeal' or 'h8 u'?

Is 'talking like HRO' bad for your health/personal brand?

Yall. HRO is a unique place. I make up a lot of original stuff. I talk about important concepts. I am there for you. There is nothing wrong with cobranding your personal brand with the HIPSTER RUNOFF lifestyle brand. Don't let n e 1 give u shit 4 it.

U R UNIQUE.

It is okay to talk like me. Talking like Carles/HRO makes u normal+self-aware+authentic.

A lot of ppl complain in the cmmnt threads that cmmntrs try 2 hard to sound like HRO, but there's nothing wrong with that. You are a part of something bigger than yourself. Something authentic.

Be extremely proud of yourself for 'getting it.'

In fact, "getting" HRO is the equivalent of fulfilling an 60 hour requirement of 'progressive' liberal arts courses at a top 100 university/community college.

We are all trying to build an army of supporters who are eager to 'mimic'/'implement' ur 'way of life' into their way of life. When u get into a relationship, u don't rlly NEED another person. U just NEED a reason to be alive. We want to know 'why?' We want 2 know other people identify with us. We want 2 know that we are unique. We want to know that we are differentiated.

Master lifestyle brands want you to be a soldier for them.
A Master Lifestyle Brand will represent you what you represent the brand.
Start seriously thinking about the future of your personal brand. R u looking to go local, regional, national, or global?

// I am building an army.

My MP3 Blog Is My MP3 Blog

This post has been a part of Mainstream=Alt: An eArt Gallery Presented by the Popular Weblog HIPSTER RUNOFFS.

/// What does MP3 blogging mean 2 u?
/// What is ur fave MP3 blog?
/// What do u look 4 in a good MP3 blog?
/// Are MP3 blogs important 2 u?
/// Are MP3 blogs ruining everything?

/// I am my own personal hype machine.
/// (a personal branding strategy)

When HRO memes come 2 life.

Yall. I remember 1 time I wrote some [MEMORABLE POST] about Girl Talk, and then made a meaningful GIF abt it.

Then I was reading a popular BrooklynHipsterNewsBlogAboutVegans, and I saw my meme come to life on a post-self-aware post-entrylevel meaningful alt having post-post-meta-ironic fun at a Girl Talk concert.

[Photo by Nilshot]

I feel rlly happy when one of my memes comes to life, kinda like a Progressive High School Teacher who feels gratified when students 'extend concepts' outside of the classroom.

<3 yall.
"Yall make my memes come true."
-to the tune of Hall and Oates' "You Make My Dreams Come True"

</embed>

I just realized something.
I only rlly have 3 emotions. I can only rlly feel 3 ways about something.

I can <3 some1/something.
I can h8 some1/something
I can miss some1/something.

While yall may not respect me cuz I'm not complex, yall need to realize that these simple emotions are the core feelings behind everything.

<3 = when u either rllly luv some1 or when u 'fake luv' them and are kinda being sillie about liking them s0 much. Kinda worx both ways since I'm afraid of commitment/meaning what I say. U can prove that u rlly luv some1 or something by surrounding it with <3s. For example " <3 [object] <3 ."
h8 = when u hate something/dislike something/are uncomfortable in a situation/feel inconvenienced/feel like something has wronged u/don't like what something stands 4
miss = when u get a lil nostalgic about something u used to <3 or h8. It kinda symbolizes growin' up and seeing things a lil bit differently than u used 2. u nvr realize how important something was until u start 2 miss it. U can also kinda 'fake' miss some1 2 make fun of how u used 2 view the world.

Feeling in action:

h8 u

miss u

miss u

<3 u

<3 u

h8 yall

miss u

h8 yall

h8 yall

miss u

<3 u

h8 yall

miss u

<3 u

miss u

h8 u

h8 u

h8 yall

h8/<3/miss u

What do u h8/<3/miss ?
Let's get vulnerable.
want 2 see ur soul

Is there n e thing left 2 blg abt?

Have I seen everything?
Have I discovered authenticity?
Has every original meme in the world been made?
Will music ever get better, or did it already peak in the 60s/70s/80s/90s/00s/bloghouse?
What happens if the hypemachine 'breaks down'/shuts down?
Has every alt worn every type of zany accessory there is to wear?
Has the party pic industry 'peaked'?
Am I more/less than 'just another snarky blg'?
What is gonna happen when the facehunter loses his will 2 hunt faces?
Should I turn into a krappie 'news blog' now that I have 'advertising'?
What do u want from HRO?
Should I stop blggng?

///help////

Can I die and go to heaven now that I have seen a Green Aggs an Ham DJ set?

(miss yall)

R/I/P/

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