Corporate Branding | Hipster Runoff

Corporate Branding

Will the combination Red Lobster + Olive Garden restaurants 'save' suburbia?

I spend a lot of time and energy h8ing suburbia, wanting to break free from my past, shaking my fist at the mold that created me. However... as I enter the twilight of my twenty-something prime, and look ahead, I can't help but wonder if suburbia is actually some sort of 'utopia' where everything is pretty easy. U can drive a huge car, park in a huge parking lot, and unload the groceries via the garage in2 ur big ass house with a big ass TV. Even though right now, that process sounds lamestream and authentic, maybe it's a good way of life.

What if u were hungry, and u could drive less than 2 miles to a series of relevant franchise chain restaurants, all at varying price points, offering you the opportunity 2 dine on cuisine from 'around the world'? Is that really a bad thing?

As u know, most chain restaurants work in 'combos' 2 maximize operational efficiencies. I'm sure yall have vibed out at Pizza Hut / Taco Bell / KFC.

And maybe eaten at Chili's / On the Border of Mexico / Maggiano's Lil Italie.

But what if I told u that the new 'it' combo restaurant was the combination Red Lobster + Olive Garden. Seems rlly convenient, like this is the type of innovation that we need to 'save' suburbia. More restaurant mashups, more convenience, offer more opportunities 4 consumers 2 have more power than evr.

Sorta wonder if complimentary cheddar biscuits are going 2 become the new 'SXSWestern eggrolls.'

Or if 'free salad and breadsticks' will become the official relevant appetizer of the 2k20s.

I am rlly excited. Have had so many great memories at Red Lobster/Olive Garden.

Feels like we were transported 2 'Little Italy', eating rustic concept food.

Celebrating 'girls night out' with a bottle of wine @ the olive garden

Celebrating my 21st birthday with some lobster, some free cake, and some of my best friends.

Red Lobster: A great place 2 get some fried_wave shrimp/seafood + creamy sauce
Olive Garden: A great place 2 get some noodles & ketchup / creamy alfredo
Combo: A great place 2 bring ur family 2 share good times.

Really feels like Red Lobster + Olive Garden 'hybrid' restaurants might be what makes suburbia 'relevant.' Really hope that the 2k10s become known as the years when franchise restaurants were really down 2 'collab' and 'remix' one another. It feels like with this type of 'collab', we should no longer 'fear the suburbs', but instead 'buy property and build a factory home' in the suburbs. Maybe Win Butler was wrong all along...

I'll see you guys at Olive Garden / Red Lobster.

Which restaurant collabs do u want 2 see?
McDonalds + Chipotle?
Whataburger + In&Out?
Taco Bell + Panda Express?
Panda Express + Pei Wei?
Subway + Wendy's?
Chili's + Applebees + TGIFriday's?
IHOP + Denny's?
Panera Bread + Quizno's?
Golden Corral + Golden Corral?
Outback + Ruby Tuesday?
Is combination Olive Garden+Red Lobster 'the new Chili's?
How would u rate the dining experience at Olive Garden/Red Lobster?
Should I get a waitressing internship at Red Lobster/Olive Garden since I am only taking 6 hours at my suburban community college this year?
Do franchise chain restaurants make u feel 'trapped in suburbia/society'?
If u had a family of four that you had 2 feed for a low price, where would u take ur family 2 eat?

My parents drive a car that makes me look poor/rich/middle-class.


I remember when I was a child, my parents would drive me to school most mornings, dropping me off to start my day. Even though they didn't realize it because they had 'grown up problems', there was a lot of anxiety within me abt the kind of car that they drove. A lot of ppl say u go 2 school to 'learn', but the American school system is actually a process of 'being judged' and learning how to react/evolve/thrive/fail. Most Americans know whether or not they 'fit in' with society by the end of freshman year of high school.

Even though my parents didn't really have a 'sloppy jalopy' like some of the poorest kids at school, I still felt like my parents should have probably worked harder so that they could have bought a sweet car that would have aided/enhanced my personal brand. It's sorta weird how even though ur a kid, u can still tell how 'material things' can shape ur 'social status.' Even though u r young, and have no idea how money works/how much BMWs+Mercedes+Range Rovers cost, u wish ur parents would move to a cheaper house so they could at least have a sweet ass ride.

I felt scared that my personal brand would be compromised if some1 saw me getting out of a 'poor person'/lower middle class car. Like ppl would think that I ate 'free lunch' and lived in some sort of 'crappy apartment' on the edge of town/our district. They would find out I came from a single-parent household, or that we had been on 'food stamps' until my mom got her most recent job. They would find out that my Abercrombie clothes were actually 'hand me downs'/purchased on sale/that I made my mom max out her credit card 2 purchase them.

Didn't really matter if my parents had paid off our car
Paid off our house
Had an excellent retirement / savings / college fund 4 our entire family...

Nothing says 'I'm fucking sweet + loaded'
Like getting dropped off in a sweet car
Will Smith was right
'Parents just don't understand.'

"I don't tolerate dorkiness." -lil ass hole bro


Feel ashamed of my father
for being such a 'middle class failure'
I wish he would get a sweeter job
Buy me sweeter shit
Kewl clothes, Video Games, Macbooks, Vlogging Cameras
I am more than just a spoiled tween
I am a lifestyle brand

"My dad is a fucking pussie. I am ashamed of him. The whole world treats him like shit because he is a human turd."

Nothing is sweeter than having a sweet car with kid-friendly features
Were u the kind of ass hole who made ur parents listen 2 ur selected tunes
or did u let them play their 70s/80s classic hits?

But srsly...
I am ashamed of my 'dumbass dad'
He doesn't know how to use a fucking GPS
turn on the CD player, satellite radio, the seat warmers
Really clear why he hasn't gotten a raise/promotion in 10 years
when his dumbass probably can't even figure out how 2 use the copy machine.


Look at his bald, fat ass
I swear to god
I will kill myself if I become him
I mean, let's be honest...
He drives a goddamned Toyota
I am pretty sure those are for 'middle class' ppl
no matter how u try 2 brand them.

Letting ur friends ride in the back seat with u
Have some sweet ass TV screens in the back
Escape from their lamestream parents
Who don't really 'get' why social status is important
4 forming a successful child in our modern society


Just glad my parents took the time to really 'think abt' how a kid can turn out to be 'effed' if they think they are inferior to other kids. Kids need to feel 'rich', even if they aren't. Raising a kid who thinks he/she is poor means raising a kid who doesn't believe they can achieve their dreams. Instead of seeing money as no object, they see it as a bottleneck/restraining factor in their existence.

My parents understood that they had to 'spend some money' to make sure that I was rich and able to select from the top tier of 'potential friends' at my local elementary/middle/high school.


Once again
My personal brand
is a lifestyle brand
I am 'selling myself' to all the other kids at school
They want 2 be me
They want a part of me
They want to know what my life is like
I am a unique experience/human/brand

Would give anything
to be dropped off at school
in a helicopter / airplane / submarine / time machine every day
Just want my parents to be 'richer than every1'
Want to be secure
Want my dad to 'be a man'
I want to have the #1 personal brand in my class.

I am a lil tween ass hole
Way 2 aware of material things & social status
If only I could appreciate my parents
4 putting a roof ovr my head
and filling my spoiled face with fast food

//ashamed of u dad

Is Toyota launching a 'brilliant' / 'spot on' marketing campaign, or are they 'pissing off America'?
R u afraid of having a spoiled tween who thinks too much abt 'social status'?
Did u make ur parents drop u off a block away from school because they drove a shitty car?
R u ashamed of ur parents for being 'too poor/middle class' or did it help 2 shape u / make u 'appreciate life' more?
Do u wish ur parents were rich so u never really had 2 work/take things seriously?
Is this kid a 'lil ass hole'?

Is 'the lil ass hole' the new face of Toyota?
Should I go and buy a Toyota Highlander so my tween son will stop being a spoiled lil a-hole?

Did I mention my dad is a 'complete fggt' who wears fanny packs?
So ashamed of him
Srsly not going 2 become my parents
trapped in suburbia
driving a pseudo-luxury SUV
popping out spoiled kids like myself.


I'm going 2 break the cycle
H8 SUVS, suburbia, mortgages and raising kids

My parents drive a car that makes me look poor.

I bought a hybrid car and a polar bear came 2 my house 2 thank me 4 saving the environment.


I'm just a polar bear
the distant cousin of the Panda Bear
Living in the Arctic/Antarctic
Every day big pieces of ice that I live on
begin 2 melt away

kinda sad
so many humans
ruining my vibes
by driving 'gas guzzlers'

but recently, humans started driving Hybrid Cars
which use a lil bit of gas
and a lil bit of electricity
has really helped out
shits not melting as much any more
it's rlly sweet

I decided to go on a lil 'road trip' to visit a human
just to say 'thnx'
Even though he didn't realize it
he really helped me
and I just want him 2 know that he is a chill bro
for riding the electric car wave

Swam in the ocean
crawled thru the forest
walked thru relevant major metropolitan areas
Walked down highways
Visited a few chill places, bought some souvenirs
Even lived in a sweet loft in Brooklyn
but ultimately felt more alone than evr

Anyways, eventually got to that bro's house
and hugged him
Dude thought I was gonna kill him
but I was like 'no bro--thnx 4 buying a hybrid. U saved my life.'

Then he was all like "Dont know who the eff u r.
I wanted to buy a Hummer
but ended up in this lil piece of shit car
Know the gas is cheap
but still
feel like a pussie when I drive it around."

Then I was like "I live on an ice cap
thanx for not melting it."

Then he said "Global Warming is Bull shit.
Go back 2 ur g-d hippie college
and leave me alone with ur liberal propaganda
[via the Daily Colbert Show]"

I went ahead and caught a JetBlue flight home
so I could watch TV during my flight.
Feeling kinda dumb
Like a long distance love affair that didn't work out.

I feel like a huge piece of shit
I wish my ice cap igloo house had just melted away
and a huge piece of ice cut me in half
killing me, taking me out of my misery

Humans are kinda lame
Not sure if they 'get' the environment
or if they really care abt animals like me/relevant ecosystems
Seems like they only care abt hybrid cars
for the sake of 'status'

Just kinda sux that everything
is abt branding + consumerism
instead of 'doing it 4 the right reasons'
2 save the polar bears

I'm still alone
No1 understands me
I'm completely fucked

Nothing can save our Earth/world/environment/society
It doesn't matter what I do with my life
who I am nice 2
what I believe in

We're fucked.
Goodnite world
Sad/Dead on the inside


Can we save the environment [via carbon emissions] or is it already effed?
If I buy a hybrid, will some sort of animal come 2 thank me?
Do hybrid cars even make a difference?
If a panda bear/ polar bear hugged u in ur driveway would u try to kill it?
Is global warming = bullshit?
Should I buy a Nissan Leaf or does it look like a clown car?
Are the ice caps rlly melting, or is that an old wives' tale?
Should all animals be preserved 4evr in man-made environments at regional zoos?
Should ppl 'walk' instead of buying hybrids?
Will polar bears come 2 kill us if we keep melting their igloos?
Do u h8 environmentalism?

Are the new iPhone 4 commercials trying 2 hard to appeal 2 old Middle Americans & vloggy tweens?

Apple recently came out with a new iPhone that has a webcam / HD video camera on it, so u can vlog and video chat with other people instead of using the phone in a generic manner. The new ads 'highlighting' this feature seem like they are really trying to demonstrate how technology can enhance opportunities for authentic human connections. Sorta feel like they portrayed tons of mainstream, Middle American ideas of 'family', 'love', and 'relationships', trying to make the Apple brand 'essential' in Middle America.

Honestly feel kinda bummed because I thought I was progressive 4 using Apple products.
Guess now that there is an Apple Store at every suburban mall, I should stop kidding myself
Apples are for streamers
Dells are fore streamers
GPS devices are for suburban streamers
All technology has 'gone mainstream' [via relatively affordable price points/in-store credit opportunities]


Every1 loves 2 love technology
An opportunity to stay connected
Every new product--website, software, or hardware device
gives us an opportunity to take 'humanity' to the next level
Making us more relevant than any generation before us
the ability to do more great things

So pumped to use the lil camera on my iPhone 4
Gonna livevlog so hard
No longer waiting til I get home to upload my vlogs to my youtube/vimeo account
my tribe of followers are gonna be soo connected to my web brand

Gonna tell my boyfriend that he finally planted a load of semen in my vagina

Livevlogging via Apple will change everything
Feel like it will be just as fulfilling as hanging out with some1 in person
Won't even really have 2 leave the house
or buy a cell phone plan--probs just a data plan
with the skype/iChat app

Can't wait to break up with my GF using iPhone video chat technology
Or to tell her that she 'looks like shit' and needs to put on something
more flattering/forgiving for our date


Might also tell her that I have an STD
Or 'threaten 2 kill her' [via Mel Gibson / OJ Simpson]

I always feel creeped out
and uncomfortable when old people use technology


I feel like they deserve to live their lives' without it
New commercials make me kinda sad that we are forcing iProducts down their throats
because I don't really think I want to experience any of these lamestream events in my life
Don't wanna have a family
Don't wanna have a kid
Don't want to 'take care' of my parents after they get old
Gonna stick them in a homeless community without wifi, and limited TV access
Might just ship them 2 North Korea

But maybe when I am a dad,
I will buy my daughter a cell phone so that we don't fall out of touch
I can use technology to relate to her on her own level
send her positive texts
maybe even 'get hornie' and sext with her if my marriage falls apart and I become an alcoholic


She is soo spoiled
Paid for braces
Data plan
Private School
Horse Riding Lessons
and she can't even vlog with me?

'spoiled ass bitch' -Gen Y dad after raising a terrible kid

Even if I'm in the military
and my wife gives birth
U can jam an iPhone up her pussy
and 'live vlog' that shit
Kinda sad I won't be able to start off being a 'deadbeat dad' on the right foot.


Even if u can't 'talk' on ur phone, u can utilize sign language
to vlog hard

I miss the days when Apple would just put a cutesy indie song in their commercials
harvesting buzzbands to the mainstream
like the Feists
or other 'shitty alt rock songs'
like that one by the band JET

I remember when I was the only alt in my elementary / middle school / high school / college dorm to have a Mac
Before it was even 'maltstream trendy'
Really just fit in with my lifestyle
Not even trying '2 be kewl'

But now every1 has an apple product

So many opportunities
to help Middle Americans and mainstreamers
utilize technology in tacky ways
How much is 2 much?

I remember when technology used to just be for people who lived in relevant cities
but I guess suburban families are kinda rich
and have tons of money 2 blow
at Apple Store outlets

How do u feel about Apple's new Middle American brand?
Is Apple 'swirling down the shitter' or are they like a buzzband that is morphing into U2?
Are Apple's products 'perfect' or is AT&T 'fucking bullshit'?
Should I start using Android for pure Google integration?
Do u h8 living in the vlog era?
What meaningful moments of ur life do you think you will livevlog with your friends and families?
Do these commercials make u want to throw up?
Do u wish you could be a semi-professional actor who got the chance to star as a 'generic American' in an iPhone commercial?
Are humans 'too connected' via technology?

I am a grassroots marketing representative for an energy drink.

Photo by thecobrasnake

Hello. Would you like to try a new cutting edge energy drink? It comes with an authentic boost of natural energy, made from healthy things that come from the Earth like vitamins, vegetables, plants, and miscellaneous non-synthetic elements. You won't feel the same 'crash' that you feel when you consume other energy drinks.

I like my job. I'm good at it. We basically find events where 14-25 year olds are hanging out, then go there with our cooler truck, and encourage them to try our brand of drink. We are real marketers. We don't just sit back and pray that something goes viral on the internet. To really promote a brand, we have to take it to the people.  This is authentic marketing.  Roll up your sleeves and get to work.

Day after day.  Going to the warehouse.  Filling up the truck with ice + energy drinks.

Driving.  Flat screen TVs in the back of our car.  Wearing a polo shirt with the brand on it.  Casual cool business attire.  This is the good life.

People really get excited when our truck rolls around. We play some really fun tunes by relevant buzzbands, and our branded SUV turns into modern tailgate party , with people rallying around our brand.  It really becomes a mad house.  I am not sure if people are excited about our brand, or if they are just excited to get something for free.

The hardest part of the job is when minorities and greedy teens try to hoard our free product.  I wish they would understand that we are trying to promote the brand to as many people as possible.  We want to give you a sample, but we are not looking to give you a 1 month's supply of energy drink. Show a little bit of respect. Not just for me, but for urself.

You think this is an easy job? You're fucking wrong. What we do takes a high level awareness/understanding of marketing, human nature, and the local cultural event economy. Not every one can do what we do. Not every1 can hand out free drinks to strategic markets.

Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? No. But this is an important resume builder as I move up in the company, or take my knowledge to another company/brand.

Energy Drinks.  Brand Building. Letting consumers know that they can believe in our brand.

The road goes on forever
and the demand for energy in a can never ends.

What is the most authentic type of energy drink?
Are energy drinks 'for ass holes'?
Do yall believe in grass roots marketing?
Have u ever had a job where u sat at a table and represented a brand?

Should Shamu / the ‘Shamu’ brand be ‘put to sleep’ [via execution]?

Have yall ever been to an amusement park? It seems like it is a concept known by kids who were born before 1992. Before television, video games, and the internet emerged as the perfect ways to waste time/keep your kids quiet+entertained on weekends, huge plots of land called 'amusement parks' used to exist. On these plots of land, 'sensational shit' existed. Rollercoasters, rides, live shows, and other places where you could piss money away to 'have a good time.' It is sort of like the concept of a 'playground', except monetized.

Sea World was a company that seems to have been founded to build a 'sweet ass' amusement park, but maybe have a few educational values, since they feature aquatic life and creatures from the North + South pole. This was probably a good gimmick in the 1960s-1980s, back when parents wanted to give their kids a 'hands on' learning experience.  In addition, before high-speed internet + cable tv with 100+ channels existed, you didn't really have access to something 'sensational' on a daily basis.  Back then, watching a whale/dolphin/seal jump out of the water and dance around with a trainer in a wet suit was 'legitimately entertaining.'

For example, this picture probably looked 'cooler'/'more amazing' in 1980. A consumer in 1980 would probably think that they were special to see this sight in person. However, in the 2k10s, the critical mind is trained to ask more questions/understand why it won't be very special to see a couple of sea animals jump out of a pool of water.

Wonder if Sea World is 'the most absurd place' on the planet. It seems like a zoo, except 'extreme,' like it just drank a lot of Red Bull / Mountain Dew.

Shamu, a killer whale / orca is the face of Sea World. Even though the park has evolved and added more rides to compete with other dying amusement parks, Shamu has been the mainstay of the brand. Unfortunately, Sea World seems to be 'in the shitter' ever since the Discovery Channel + Animal Planet developed HD channels.  It seems apparent that people would rather see animals in their natural element, instead of performing 'lame ass tricks.'

Shamu seems like a good idea, since graphic designer can probably do a lot with the natural form of an orca.  Unfortunately, the killer whale is the #1 predator on the planet. Even though the great white shark + t-rex have strong brands as 'bad ass animals' [via Jaws + Jurrasic Park], the Killer Whale is actually most likely to 'tear shit up' in the wild.

Apparently the first Sea World opened in San Diego in 1964. I feel like they probably should have branded around a penguin / dolphin / sea lion / seal / otter /beluga, but instead, they branded around the orca. I imagine a team of 1960s business men thinking that 'Sea World' was a cash cow without evaluating the environmental impact of such an absurd, dangerous playpen.

Every 1 - 5 years, a killer whale attacks a trainer and kills/maims the human. This demonstration of man vs. nature never really ends well, particularly for the Sea World Brand. In today's modern world where we are eager to turn any thing mildly sensational into a meme, it seems like a bad idea to have such a volatile brand ambassador who might eat a human.

@Shamu was supposed to be a playful brand with a twitter presence, but they even had to shut down his account after the recent killing of his trainer. This seems like the equivalent of a professional athlete tweeting something 'controversial'/killing some1, then deactivating their twitter. Instead, this animal killed some1 and corporate HQ 'shut him up.'

I wonder if Free Willy ultimately 'hurt' killer whales, by taking their false brand of a 'gentle giant' to the masses. Maybe we all feel let down because we thought orcas were chill bros who just wanted to take you on sweet ass water rides.

Maybe amusement parks that feature animals in captivity are a bad thing.
Should animals be held in captivity to be shown off as 'freak shows'?
Does n e 1 know if killer whales are happier in the wild, or if they prefer living in a confined space and having fish fed to them after they do sweet tricks?

Just watched this vintage clip of a trainer getting her ass 'handed to her.'


Worried that 1 ton predators will always end up eating humans.

Do yall feel worried abt trainers when u see them in the air because u think the are about 2 be eaten?

Does Southwest Airlines regret being cobranded with Shamu? Do people who ride on a Shamu plane think that they are going 2 die?

Should Shamu be 'put down'?
Is Shamu an unchill bro for eating his trainer?
Should the trainer have 'gotten a real job that helped society' instead of swimming around with animals all day?
Do u hope the video game industry kills the amusement park industry, since it is easier/more fun to play a vid game than spend $50 for the right to purchase overpriced snacks + ride mediocre rides where u might die?
Which predator has the best brand? T-Rex? Great White? Grizzly Bear? Cobrasnake? Collectives of Animals?
Is Bitte Orca some sort of prophetic album abt orcas 'biting' humans?
Are yall more into zoos or amusement parks?
Would u rather buy ur unborn son a Wii or a season pass to an amusement park?
Do yall have any relevant/shitty amusement parks in ur area [via Disney / Six Flags /Knott's Berry Farm]?
Are amusement parks just places where local teens get summer jobs or do the really 'add value' to a city as a tourist attraction?
In order to save their brand, should Sea World 'release' Shamu back into the wild, or should they execute him on webcam so that they prove to consumers that they are moving on to a new era with a new brand?

Was the Super Bowl an authentic consumer alt experience?

Last nite, I watched the Super Bowl, because I am currently working in a mainstream office environment, and I secretly feel insecure when every1 else is talking abt a mainstream event, yet I don't have a progressive opinion to 'share' that goes over every1' heads. The Super Bowl seems like a more fulfilling viewing event than awards shows like the Oscars or Grammys or the BCS championship because you have 2 forces/teams 'battling' to be the champion, instead of just voter opinions and computer algorithms.

Did u have a 'Super Bowl party' with chips, dips, meats, brewskies, and 'bros'?

I feel like the Super Bowl is the 1 event all year that really unites the country. Thanksgiving + Christmas are so forced, but I feel like every1 really 'comes together for the Super Bowl. If the two teams are 'compelling', 'exciting' or just 'from a big market', the Super Bowl usually goes well. Every1 in America was 'some what aware' that a football game was occurring, because their lives' were made more meaningful/inconvenienced by it. Just want to be able to have 'meaningful discussions' about 'the big game', then feel a little bit disenfranchised with life because I don't 'care' about it the same way other ppl do.

Did alt stuff happen during the super bowl?

I feel 'most interested' in the alternative landmark events that happened during the Super Bowl. To most alts/ternatives, the 2k10 Super Bowl will be known as 'the year the Arcade Fire scored the soundtrack 2 the Super Bowl.' Every several minutes, the meaningful chorus of their hit song "Wake Up" played over and over again, as it was cobranded with the NFL.  I wonder if their song was better utilized in the marketing campaign of Where The Wild Things Are.


In terms of 'selling out', this might be the biggest case of 'sell out' in the history of indie music.  Theoretically, there was no larger stage viewed by a wider audience than the Super Bowl.  I feel like the Super Bowl will begin to showcase former indie bands during half time in the second half of the decade.  For all we know, Arcade Fire negotiated a Super Bowl halftime 'guarantee' into their contract for this licensing.

To combat 'selling out', it was important for the Arcade Fire to send out an email blast to relevant sites+bloggers, letting consumers know that they were 'going to give the licensing money to Haiti.' It seems like this was a 'good gesture', but as the Arcade Fire transforms into a mindie (mainstream indie) band, you can't help but wonder if that was a 'calculated' move.

I feel like they did this both 'for a good cause', and to have another positive story/brand bit in their wikipedia entry.

Also saw the Grizzly Bear song "Two Weeks" in a Volkswagen commercial. It seems like that 'jingle' was created for mass markets, and it was only a matter of time before it was utilized in a commercial.  Volkswagen may or may not be an alt brand. Possibly is a B-rate 'trustafarian' brand. It makes me feel better knowing that Grizz Bear is being compensated instead of 'giving their money away to Haitians' after so many people texted 'HAITI' to 90999.  It seems like a lot of tweens probably already gave enough money 2 save Haiti, or am I 'being naive/Americentric'?


'Just sort of relieved the New Orleans Saints won, reminding us that 'we had our own disaster' on American soil, and we need 2 fix what is wrong IN America before we invade Iraq/Iran + help with foreign crises. Fire Obama.'
-progressive conservative/liberal

Also saw some Google commercial. I guess they have to 'advertise because they are a lifestyle brand, and fear Bing + Yahoo searches. The concept of their commercial idealizes/romanticizes the idea of studying abroad in France, meeting a cute French Broad, then importing her to the states and putting an exotic blooded child in her.


Is Google 'misleading' consumers by promising them happiness/success if they continue to solve their problems by googling them?
Does this commercial make u want 2 study abroad?

Was sorta surprised to see Alt Famous Photographer Noah Kalina in a Dodge Charger Super Bowl Commercial. Noah Kalina went 'mad viral' because he took a picture of himself every day for 6 years, then made a viral youtube video abt it.

The commercial seems to be an admission that 'life as a man sucks', but there are simple pleasures that you can enjoy during ur lifetime.  One of them is 'driving an awesome car.'  Another one might be 'cheating on your wife.'  Another one is probably 'eating 5000 calorie meals and dying from heart failure.'  Just want 2 make commercials that appeal the middle American Man.


Not sure how much 'alt stuff' happened during the actual game. Think that the Super Bowl is just a 'consumer expo' sort of like some sort of global convention [via web conferencing].

Does n e 1 know if Hurricane Katrina is 'officially over' now that the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl?

Drew Brees' son also seemed pretty alt after his dad won the Super Bowl. He put on some 'huge headphones' and acted like he 'didn't give a damn' about the Super Bowl.

Do u think he was listening to Animal Collective in order to make the experience more meaningful?

Also, some 'cool grandpa' band called The Who played halftime. It seemed like they were some sort of parody of a classic rock band, but I am not really familiar with music from before the year 2000.

Peyton Manning was apparently going to be 'the Greatest Quarterback of All Time' if he won this game, but he 'choked bigtime.' It seems like this loss will cost him millions of dollars. He had a great opportunity to become 'the most marketable athlete to old white people' because of Tiger Woods' fall from grace, but he won't be able to command the millions of dollars that a true champion could have.

Worried about his body language. Like he is a 'sore loser'/not a 'genuine leader.'

Not sure how Americans would feel knowing that the UEFA Champions League Final gets more global viewers than the Super Bowl. As an American, I thought that the Modern 'National Past Time' (the NFL) had a global reach, but I think more global ppl are into soccer + NBA basketball [via Yao Ming China effect].

Can't believe soccer/real 'football' is still the global game. Worried that American Football might be as 'retarded' as the American Metric System.

Commercial Analysis

Here is some in-depth consumer analysis some of the most relevant commercials of the Super Bowl.

Saw this McDonalds commercial where two black athlete NBA players play a game of 'HORSE.' Dwight Howard and LeBron James are two of the most marketable NBA players because they are young, and don't have a bad reputation yet. They continue to attempt 'out of this world' dunks which are created with visual effects. This commercial seems like it is supposed to appeal to 'stupid people' who think dunks are 'effing sweet' and are not aware of the societal impact of the fast food industry. Professional athletes enjoy fast food because of their limited income upbringings and their rigorous practice schedule which enables them to burn 3,000-10,000 calories per day.


(Please Note: McDonalds placed Larry Bird in this commercial so that the commercial wasn't 'too black', and didn't only appeal to new, young NBA fans.)

Another former African American basketball player, Charles Barkley starred in a Taco Bell commercial. He is known for being an 'outspoken black talking head who we have all learned to love.' Despite a gambling addiction and drunken sexual indiscretions, Taco Bell thought his silly brand would help them sell Taco Combo meals, served in a branded box.


Do u want to buy a taco box from a 400 lb rhyming man in a huge suit?

Do u 'forgive him' for past alleged 'criminal' activities?

He seems to have evolved into a jolly, fat, radically opinionated man, as opposed to an 'angry black man.'

Also saw that Bud Light attempted to 'tap into' the mainstream infatuation with the autotune phenomenon from 2k9.

Clubbing baby seals seems like an unchill practice.

It's always weird when a band/famous person becomes an advocate for change, especially when they are 'raising awareness' for a problem that I wasn't really aware of. One could make the argument 'out of sight, out of mind' is a good thing. Like if you knew too much about the world's problems, then u might become paralyzed with fear/h8 for humanity, realizing that 'things would never change' and evil will always live on this planet. But it's also kinda good because if you know more 'issues', then you are more interesting.

I was 'completely unaware' that clubbing seals was a huge problem in our world. I have honestly never seen any1 wearing or eating seal. For some reason, I have 'never had a desire' to wear seal/miscellaneous exotic animal fur. It seems out of my price range, since I am just a suburban upper-middle class alt, and I would rather spend that kind of money on consumer technology instead of clothes. Maybe if Am Appy 'branded' animal fur, I would be interested.

Clubbing seals 'seems unchill.' Like some1 who listens to horrorcore music would be a seal clubbing bro.


I feel like 'seal clubbing bros' should be eliminated from the Earth. I am glad that I learned about this cause. I have an opinion about it, and I understand that is wrong, but I am not sure what else I can do to prevent companies and humans from clubbing seals. It seems unchill to skin animals just to wear them. Like the people who value animal fur are 'severely troubled' and have 'a very stupid perspective of the world'--like they didn't go to school and learn stuff. I think that some1 needs to make a movie about seals similar to 'March of the Penguins' so that people think that seals can have a group brand that is 'cute enough to save/care about.' It seems like humans care about cute animals.

Really just happy that AnCo 'made it.' Feel happy that a band from my range of tastes has ascended into 'activist relevancy.'

Can't believe AnCo is such a relevant celebrity. As famous as the homosexual blogger, Pedro Hilton.

Even larger than the star of the recent teen dramedy "She's All That."

AnCo can do as much change as the world for star of 'Laguna Beach Cribs', Brody Jenner.

I feel excited for AnCo. A lot of people think that AnCo 'is going to cross over.' They keep waiting to hear them on the mainstream radio. I feel like 'lending ur brand' to a PETA campaign seems like u have 'made it.' Like if Pitchfork had some sort of 'humanitarian ratings', this would probably be around a 9.6.

Celebrities Speak Out Against the Seal Slaughter.

'U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of fabrics.'

-Panda Bear, 2k9.8

'U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of sounds.'

-Panda Bear, 2k4evr

Feel like my whole life make sense now that 'Animal Collective' has truly become 1 with the Animal Kingdom Collective of Real Animals.

Honestly feel sad/disturbed after watching seals being murdered. Will probably think of seals being clubbed every time I listen to AnCo from now on, even when the themes are happy. :-(

Vintage HRO post [via 2k8.1]

Remember the time Panda Bear and his wife designed hoodies?

Previous Animal Rights Posts

The Impact of Sports Marketing on Regular Bros: This Bro is a Witness

Photo via BallDon'tLie

It's kinda weird how we're all 'witnesses' 2 marketing, and we are impacted by the stuff that is around us. I noticed this bro from Cleveland Ohio who had actually 'converted his garage' into some sort of tribute to his favourite African American athlete in the world, an NBA basketball player named LeBron James who plays in the same city. It seemed weird 2 me, mainly because sports don't really mean anything, and I thought every1 realized that sports is just some sort of intense marketing + branding experiment for males.

Sorta wonder 'why' this bro felt moved to convince his parents to let him turn their garage + old ppl convertible into a LeBron James Tribute Zone. I understand 'being a fan' since I am theoretically a 'fan' of a bunch of indie bands, but I feel like this would be the equivalent of painting ur car to match the Merriweather Post Pavvy cover. It seems 'extreme', like instead of living ur life, you are getting too emotionally attached to the characters + brands that 'sports' create.

I am not sure why LeBron James would 'inspire him' to architecturally alter his property. From what I understand, LeBron James thinks that he is a 'chosen one' when it comes to life. Maybe he 'convinced every1 in Cleveland' that he is some sort of God. (seems like a tattoo that only 'an ass hole' would get/only 1-4 people in the world are 'actually qualified to receive').

I am not sure if this tattoo means that he thinks he is 'better than every1 else at everything' or just at basketball. From what I understand, LBron has not won an NBA Championship and Michael Jordan won 6 of them. Kinda feel like that makes Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong's brands 'legit', since they 'won stuff.' Seems like Nike possibly 'jumped the gun' on branding LeBron James, or perhaps he is the only athlete 'simple enough' to go along with an 'over-the-top' campaign in our modern world where people feel 'shitty' after seeing some1 rub their greatness in ur face.

I feel like the entity 'LeBron James' is some sort of propaganda to save the psyche of people who live in Ohio. From what I understand, living in Ohio is 'a very depressing experience', since u are 'trapped in ur life. I feel like Nike probably recognized the opportunity to 'trick the people of Ohio' into thinking that their life would be improved if LeBron James won more basketball games.

This billboard seems 'insane.' I feel like I would understand why some1 had a 'warped sense of self/the world' if they 'green lit' this sort of billboard.

Nike understood that it was important to reach the white t(w)een bros, and lure them with the 'opportunity to co-brand with 'greatness.'

I am an advocate of children participating in sports/following a favourite team for a 'sense of belonging.' It seems way more healthy than letting your tween 'get into the Disney brand'/Jonas Brothers/Twilight books/etc. The spirit of 'sports' seems positive 'on the field', but I am scared of 'how warped shit can get' when it comes to uppermiddle class male teen bros who 'think that they are the shit.'

Worried that these types of bros are the ones who 'actually fall for sports marketing campaigns.'

Nike even paid Warren Buffet to be a 'witness' to this marketing scheme.

Seems like important African American artists who white ppl think are 'kewl' even participated in this whole 'witness' marketing gimmick. [via Kanye Meme]

Damn. Worried about athletes/rappers/African Americans/Nike and how they brand 'greatness.' I feel like the 'zeitgeist of greatness' is something that white males are pretty into, but I am not sure if it is a healthy concept to explore before a male is truly mature enough to understand his place in the world.

TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' pride themselves' in having the latest expensive shoes.
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' are never 'team players.'
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' often have bad fathers who are not grounded in reality.
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' often reach their physical peak during their sophomore year in high school, then go to a subpar university in order to 'continue playing their fave sport' and major in some field that they honestly believe will 'enable them to stay close to the game that they love', including 'sports medicine', 'sports business' and 'sports marketing.'
If my son is a sports bro, I will monitor the influence of marketing on his psyche. Mainstream Teens are impressionable too.

I don't want my son to evolve into a TeenBro who thinks he is 'great.' I just want him to be happy 4 the right reasons, even if that means he 'plays in the High School Jazz Band'/a local ska band (maybe not).

Should I convince my parents to convert my garage into a tribute 2 ______________?

This post is intended to appeal to the sportsbro and post-teensportsbro demographic.

The Dorito Bro.

After pouring his beautiful heart/mind/soul into his last post, Carles was scared, afraid to blog again. Then the Dorito Bro was sent 2 him [via God] as a reason 2 blog again. This post is a celebration of the Dorito Alt.

Photo via lookbook

Planning a party, so many choices
Just want to facilitate a good time for all of my bros
offering the best drugs and alcoholic beverages
playing the best music
and having the most appropriate party snacks available.

I don't want people 'making a fucking mess' in my house
I don't want to spend too much money
I do want ppl 2 b able to 'grab n go'
I do want ppl 2 remember this partie 4ever.

It seems like there are so many choices in the chip aisle
No transfat, kettle chips, tortillian chips, chips made of the blue corn
Cheetos, Tostitos, Fritos, Doritos, Ruffles, Sour Cream N Onion, BBQ
Cheddar, Jallypenny, Cracked Pepper, Sea Salt, Vinegar
Brands presented 2 me by Frito Lay, Inc
and miscellaneous underground/indie chip brands
trying 2 'break thru' offering a healthy alternative to mnstrm chips
(much like the indie music scene)

I want 2 pick something healthy
but I want something tasty
maybe I'm messing up
and should be in the 'cracker' aisle
or perhaps buying some sort of 'spread'/'dipping concoction'
offered by the local Whole Foods

I trust Frito Lay because of the years, they have done so much
to innovate the chip industry

s0 many choices
s0 many brand loyal customers
s0 many manufacturing efficiencies
s0 many low prices

Seems like i might narrow down my choices
to Fritos, Doritos, Cheetos

Worried that ppl will think I'm 'boring' if I choose Fritos
Worried that ppl will get 'cheeto dust' fingers if I choose Cheetos
Doritos seem like a 'kewl' option.

I think it is alternative/authentic when your brand is customizable
or if the brand offers you multiple alternatives
so that u can choose which flavor truly represents u
From what I understand 'consumers are not searching for the perfect flavor, they are searching 4 as many options as possible.'

s0 many choices with the Dorito Brand

I really appreciate the core flavors

'Nacho Cheesier!' seems cheesier than just 'Nacho Cheese'

'Cooler Ranch!' is also extreme bc of the exclamation point in the name. It is as exciting as a band with punctuation in their band name.

Really could go for a full meal. Possibly a steak dinner.

Might 'cut back on the calories/fat' and eat chicken instead.

Pizza also sounds like a good option

If I lived in India, I would probably 'really dig' the Curry flavored Doritos

If I lived in ______, I would really enjoy the Rock & Cream Doritos.


Not even sure who some of these are marketed 2. Seems like the Dorito CEO made a lot of these flavors 'just for shits.'

It's kinda kewl how their brand did 'mashups' kinda like Girl Talks.

I think this is another mashup for Aznz.

Think this flavour was meant 4 me since I am a 'late nite' bro who needs 'drunk food'

Might fly to Asia just to try this American flavor, or possibly just go 2 Taco Bell.

It is also xtreme 2 eat Doritos because they have 'drugs' in them.

Wonder if I can 'get fucked up' by eating a couple of bags of doritos.

Seems like this flavor is made out of horses.

I'm not sure what these doritos taste like. It seems like the are breaking free from the traditional triangle Dorito shape, providing a new dipping structure.

Doritos 3Ds also 'transcended' the traditional form+function of Doritos.

Eager to try 'human doritos.'

Hi. I'm the Dorito bro.

R u coming to my party?
"Friends, Food, Fun." -the description on the facebook event page
Description: "We're gonna eat a shit load of Doritos, drink Mountain Dew, and listen 2 bloghaus."

Sorta wish Doritos naturally existed in nature and we got to 'harvest' and 'export' them. Feel like it would save our economy.

What's ur fave kind of 'potato chip'?
What is the most authentic chip/party snack?
Do u have any party planning tips?
Are Doritos the most authentic alternative brand on the planet?
Is Doritos the new Chili's?

My bros left me behind and went on a meaningful life journey.

My bros left me behind and went on a journey to a meaningful music festival in Tennessee. Bonnaroo is somewhat authentic, but also somewhat 'jam band bro.' I feel left out. Not just because of the destination of a 'sweet ass music festival', but because of what I will miss along the way. Kinda weird how a lot of people think about life as a destination, even though it is a journey, and sometimes u need to appreciate the road along the way.

Feel like the Pitchforkmobile must be 'the most authentic RV in the world.' Probably listening to a very progressive/ambient playlist, trying to get a signal to tweet [via iPhone], and talking about 'who r u pumped 2 see live.' Possibly thinking about 'who they feel like hyping'/'putting on their shit list.'

Feeling left out. Feel like I deserve to be in there, chilling, being myself. Going on a journey. Bonding. Connecting. Discussing. Understanding. Agreeing. Disagreeing. Broing.


When I was a younger bro, growing up, one of my bros and I made a website called It started out as a place to post pictures of bands + my favourite song lyrics, but eventually evolved into one of the leading music criticism and news 'webzines' on the internet. Unfortunately, before the website rebranded itself and started making $10 million per year, I was kicked off the editorial team for being 'too controversial' and 'too artsy.' I feel somewhat responsible for the site's success and initial direction, but have seen no compensation since they changed the password on our community hotmail account.

I'm not angry that I was kicked off team p4k, and I'm not bitter that they tried to hire me as 'an unpaid news intern' in mid-2008--I'm sad that I didn't get to share special moments with my bros. I didn't get to feel the excitement when we got our 1millionth hit, or when we got press passes to our first music festival, or when we planned our first music festival, or when we scammed our first advertiser into believing that our site was 'actually worth' what they paid, or even when we just got our first Am Appy ad. I don't really care about things like money/material things, I just want to know that I am living each moment to the fullest and have food + shelter + macbook + 3G wireless network capable phone. Wish I could have been there on the journey towards the top.

Feeling sad. The bros I never had. Feeling sad. Wish I could be in that RV.

All I ever wanted 2 do
was start a website with my bros
turn it into a viable business
and build a meaningful brand

Not asking for much
but just trying to 'live off the land'

then spend the rest of our lives'
managing our brand
protecting it, strengthening it
but ultimately
protecting 1 another
and strengthening our bonds 2gether

U need 2 learn 2 appreciate 'the journey', no matter what life throws ur way.


Can’t believe Lance Armstrong ripped off the Obama HOPE meme aesthetic

Meme via ps4k

I remember during the Barry Obama campaign, I really got behind this meme of Obama representing 'hope.' Artist Shephard Fairey really found a way to take memes to the mainstream and have them be 'more than just an image that is freely traded on the internet.' His viral art created a timeless hit that will hang in the Obama Presidential Museum on the campus of Art Institute Chicago.

Can't believe Lance Armstrong hired the same meme designer to make his own propaganda/brand+identity. I think that Lance Armstrong created 'hope' after he beat cancer and conquered Europe, so it makes me kinda sad that he had 2 piggyback on the Obama meme. Feel like his brand is strong enough already, and he created something that has already transcended mainstream global culture with the LIVESTRONG BRACELET. [via Nike branding]

I just hope that mainstreamers are able to actually appreciate/notice that these 2 iconic memes are by the same designer bro. H8 when the world doesn't appreciate cobranding, but also kinda h8 when things 'aren't original' since I want everything to come from an authentic life force.

Remembering Sparks–An Extended Memorial

What HRO fans will look like in 2k10?


Sparks is gone.
We continue to mourn in authentic and inauthentic ways. The process of mourning is more important than your expectations of results.

Is n e 1 else investing in the post-ironic vintage Sparks products market circa 2k20?

Buying a lot of this stuff from Plz don't outbid me, yall. This stuff is really important 2 me.
I beta tested Sparks when I was on a tour of the World of Coca Cola Brewery in Atlanta, GA.

Related Posts from which this meme has been built
Sparks: A Eulogy by a True Bro

I love music videos that are supposed 2 look indie for MTV/VH1 audiences

[video may not be viewable in your RSS reader]

How many 'indie music video' gimmicks can u count in this music video?


I was watching this video by the Matt and Kims for the song "Daylight." I feel like this video is the perfect execution of the 'indie aesthetic for people who like things that look earnestly quirky are meaningful.' (These people were created after NappyDynamite Fever.) The song structure is baffling enough for people to not know if it is good or bad, enabling them to decide on the quality of product based on 'how it looks' in relation to 'stuff they've seen in the past.'

Since it is a mashup of indie/meaningfulcore aesthetics, the product is approachable, and most entry level alts are able to assign meaning to it in a deliberately arbitrary way.

BUT SRSLY...if I lived my life in stop-motion, would it be more meaningful?
///Just want to exist where soul meets body//////////////

NSFW if you work in a work environment that doesn't allow 'dancey female lead singers' who 'sway to-and-fro with the sounds of an indie ballad.'


"I tried to do handstands for yall."
- Chairlift (a.k.a. Apple Buzzband version 4.6) [commercial]

Matt & Kim


Matt Johnson & Kim Schifino make up Matt & Kim, a band 4 entry level lamestreamers.

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Which shoe company represents U?

I am trying to understand my identity as a member of an 'alternative market', and trying to figure out how & why marketers target me to sell their bloggable/unbloggable products to. In a world where everything is trying to 'go viral', it's hard to know what's authentic and what makes you seem like less of a 'real person.'

I think it's fair to say that NIKE will always be the best 'lifestyle brand' for both mainstreamers and alts. They have a dual identity. While the probably have well-developed research facilities to develop cutting edge products for the top athletes & the best 'kids who play a sport and have parents who love them too much', most of the alternative branding is done with 'old products that aren't incredibly comfortable, but people enjoy how they are perceived by others when they wear the product.' AKA 'The Convese All Star Theory'.

Sneakers/shoes/footwear are a HUGE representation of 'who u r', so I figured I should breakdown what popular shoes mean about U.

Good examples are:

The Samba - I wonder what would happen if people who owned Sambas were required to register for an indoor soccer league. Overall, a 'humble yet alt' look that I would compare to a modern take on the Converse All Stars.

Nike Air Force 1s - They are for both black and white people. For people who have advanced beyond having a desire for owning the shoes that belong to a popular athlete.

Generally, Air Force 1s are colourful, and these colors can be used by generic altbros to differentiate from 'the pack.' People think they are supposed to be interested in interesting colors on shoes.

Nike Dunks - Are these the same as AirForce1s? I can't rlly tell.

New Balance 991s - A shoe made for mainstreamers/frat bros/girls who wear athletic shorts+a university t-shirt. These shoes are built for comfort. I wonder if they selected a comfy shoe on purpose, or if it was an arbitrary decision.

Reebok PUMPS - Worn by some one who is probably a VERY dedicated alt or a self-proclaimed 'sneaker freak' who wants to stand out more than Nikes would allow him to. When it comes to 'form', I don't see why any one would prefer a Reebok design over a Nike design. However, the guy who 'is wearing pumps' really wants your attention.

Vans - You might be an entry level 'scenester' if you wear Vans.

Checkered Vans - You might be a future FGGT/GHEY/future-failed-alt who gets too involved with marijuana and being quirky

The awkward Nike shoe that looks like an indoor soccer shoe/Van
- what kind of ass hole would wear this? Probably a failed cool dad.

Adidas Gazelles
- If you want an Adidas indoor soccer shoe, you should buy a Samba. Gazelles are kind of like alt-Vans (that's a bad thing).

Steve Madden Men's Shoes - It's probably 'business casual day' if u r wearing these shoes.

Keds - You are REALLY being an ass hole if you wear KEDS. You are probably a 'kid who thinks he/she is smart even though you go to community college and only wear Earth tones/pastels and actually still have Wes Anderson posters up in your room.'

Doc Marten Sandals
- Ur probably taking a bath in Abercrombie cologne and shaving your 14 year old pubes in preparation for your 'first sexual experience' if you wear these.

Asics - these are for people who are still trying to find themselves/are trying too hard to differentiate.

LA Lights - The type of person who wears these would also like to have a conversation about shows that were on Nickelodeon when you were a kid. 'Remember Pete&Pete?'

Regular Converse
-a classic look that often justifies itself/leaves much to be desired at the same time. It sort of says 'I am a humble person' but still lets people know that you are either 10-25% alt or 100% post-alt.

Quirky coloured converse - You were probably in a ska band in high school and are attached to your image as 'the smart kid who was also artistic and also had a quirky side that his teachers absolutely loved!'

Interesting print Converse - The weekend shoes of mainstreamers.

Converse All Star Xtra High
- If u wear these, u do not contribute anything positive to society. Your legs should be removed from the knees-down, and your legs should be used to keep kids in Africa warm.

Awkard Puma soccer/turf shoe - You should have bought some Sambas instead of being a weirdo.

Womens Reebok Freetyle Hi
- I have yet to meet a girl who would actually wear this.

Why is Reebok trying to trick French people who like tecktonic into thinking their shoes make them dance better?

Yelle is more important to Reebok than Michael Jordan is to Nike.

Have u seen this Funny YELLE product placement commercial for Reebok?

On the subject of alt-celebrities promoting shoes...
I still can't believe Converse hired the guy from the Strokes, the black guy from The Pharrell, and Santogold to write a song to promote Converse. This quirky video that forced music blogs to sound excited about an MP3 from multiple artists from different target audiences was one of the biggest hoaxes of the modern bloghouseosphere era.

The song is pretty funny. I feel like sneaker companies forget t
hat 'normal people' wear shoes. It's not just people who 'think their shoes make them look cool.' This song is the type of song that 'people who think that listening to certain new/buzzworthy artists makes them cool' would listen to on their way to the mall.

I feel like music blogs have a bad reputation because up to this point because of this type of content. A lot of 'd-bags who think the are supposed to find a collaboration like this interesting' are the main proponents of mp3 blogs as a news/culture source. So while bloggers feel pressured to 'blog about this new [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE] content', the marketers/companies gain promotion but subtract from the authenticity of their message & the authenticity of the targeted blog as a tastemaking source. Advertising to 'alts who are too cool for anything, but still kind of impressionable' is difficult, and companies must hire better marketing teams in order to reach the new ALT MARKET, as opposed to advertising to the circa 2002 HIPSTER MARKET.

IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO PROMOTE THE CONVERSE ALL STAR? If I were the CEO of Converse, I would stop making every non-AllStar shoe and cancel their initiatives with high-profile athletes like Dwayne Wade.

Converse should just start distributing through thrift stores and be happy with 'letting people pay what they want' for their shoes. It worked for Radiohead's "In Rainbows" and I think this product is similar.

Overall, I think Nike is the powerhouse with all of the history to make the best marketing campaigns. They realize that alts buy their products, but they don't dedicate that much direct marketing towards them. They let 'sneaker designing boutiques' and popular athletic figures who every1 liked as a kid to keep the brand's presence strong with the alts.

This commercial appeals to both mainstreamers and alts with powerful imagery/iconography that we can all associate with. In addition, it utilizes that anthem by the Killers about having soul but not being a soldier (this song theoretically appeals to every1/sounds like the kind of song that mainstreamers-who-are-unaware-of-new-bands will go out and buy, then have conversations about 'hearing this awesome song in a Nike commecial and the CD is actually really amazing.')


I don't think Nike's alternative advertising is very heavy-handed. They keep their mainstream markets as a top priority as opposed to trying to 'take over the alts.' For example, this Nike Soccer commercial was directed by Guy Richie, who is theoretically an indie director (who banged Madonna), so every one can feel comfortable liking it.

N e ways...What kind of shoes do you wear?
Which lifestyle brand do u trust?
Which business is the best?
What shoes will be big in 2k9?
Do u feel like u r way 2 valued as a 'hipster' consumer by d-bags who have brainstorming sessions where they try to identify 'what makes a hipster'?
What is a 'hipster'?
What is an 'alt'?
What is a 'scenester'?
Should I buy shoes only based on comfort?
Should I buy shoes that are made by lil AZN kids/women who are being underpaid?
Does being a 'responsible consumer' make the world a better place?
Remember hippie kids who 'didn't wear shoes'?

Is the new Pitchfork Music Festival logo 'too alt 4 its own good'?

I just saw the new Pitchfork Music Festival logo, and it looks pretty alt. Like it might be the background .jpg to my new indie underground altered zone wave blog that also has a vintage minidisc label... Sure it looks alt... but is it 'mainstream enough' to really present the p4k brand to the mainstream bro type? Can they really 'slap that bad boy on a t-shirt and sell the hell out of it' to all of the lamestreamer Midwesterners who go 2 Chicago for Lollapalooza?

I sorta miss the old vibe...

Always <3 making up my old fonts when I am bored in class.

This seems kinda chill too

Stencils are pretty chill. One time I spraypainted address numbers on curbs just to pick up a little bit more cash.

Do yall <3 the new redesign / rebrand?
Is this 'worse than the GAP logo'?
Is the new logo 'branded' enough in a mainstream lamestream way, or did they make it 100% alt?
Is the redesign 'brilliant' or does it leave u 'wanting more'?
R u an 'arm chair graphic design major' [via having high level design sensibilities]?
R u gonna get ur parents to buy u a 5 day pass 2 this music festy, or will u wait to see honkier bands at Lollapalooza?

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

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CNN rebrands 2 appeal 2 more Mexis, HIPSTER RUNOFF launches Spanish language site

CNN is a website 4 liberal mainstreamers who 'think the are interesting' bc they read the news, but aren't snarky enough to be all like "I love the Daily Show and the Colbert Report! Effing genius! Obama 4evr. H8 Fox News Bill O'Reilly is bullshit. Eff George W. Bush. I am interesting, I read news but not the newspaper and not the local news, but basically just as krappie." Anyways, CNN has a similar content stream for the Hispanic 'Underworld' called CNN En Español.

They apparently have a new logo with an "ñ" over the two "N's" in the CNN logo. This is supposed to be 'more conceptual and help Latinos 'identify' with the brand.

CNN en Español keeps the channel’s iconic red logotype, but will now include a tilde over the two “N’s.” This device suggests movement, the dynamic nature of news, and a reference to the language that unites our viewers.
— Press Release

Do u think this logo is 'brilliant' or 'effing dumb'?
Is CNN 'a legit news source' + 'content provider' or are they basically 'the local national news'?
Do all ppl in the Third World get their news from Al Chareezo [via Usaman Ben Laden]?
Do u think ur gonna start learning Spanish so u can get in2 this brand?


Inspired by the CNN en Espanol logo, HIPSTER RUNOFF has decided to launch HIPSTER RUÑOFF, a site for MexiAlts and Altinos.

Bienvienidies Al HIPSTER RUÑOFF, un blogotequa que tiene que blogar sobre.
Me llamo Carles. Sígueme en el Twitter.

¿Es HIPSTER RUÑOFF muy estupido y lamestreamando?
¿Es el blogger Carles del HIPSTER RUÑOFF un hombre muy chistoso?
¿Es HIPSTER RUÑOFF muy mainstreamanda?
¿Estas en #EquipoHIPSTERRUÑOFF o #EquipoAmericanoBlanca?
¿Piensas que CNN en Espanol es muy 'effing lame'?
¿Sabes un websitio muy 'alt' en el internecio?
¿Escucha a la indie banda Managmento o Semana de Los Vampiros?
¿Tienes Mac o PeeCe?
¿Quieres que leer HIPSTER RUÑOFF todos los dias o nunca quiere leer este bloga?


Meme, DJ, Company, Buzzband, Blog, Alternative Celebrity

HIPSTER RUNOFF is a blog worth blogging abt, created by Carles that is trying 2 stay relevant. It blogs abt buzzbands, alt stuff, relevant topics, the end of the social web, and more.

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Vampire Weekend writes the official jingle for the Honda Civic commercial


Recently, Tommy Hilfiger put the song "Holiday" by Vampy Weeks in2 one of their commercials [link]. It seems like Vampy Weeks 'cashed in' because they also sold the rights to the song to Honda in this new commercial for Honda Civic. The commercial is supposed 2 have that whole 'quirky'/'artsy' aesthetic going on, so I guess they wanted a song that sounded whimsical 2 mainstreamers.

I wonder if Honda/Tommy Hilfiger is pissed that Vampy Weekend 'hustled them'/'two-timed' them. While many ppl

Do u think this commercial will make u want to buy a Honda Civic?
From what I understand, Honda Civics are for high school girls and sensible young adults who don't have enough money to buy more of a luxury sedan, so the Civic is something that shows ur sensible, not poor, and still trying to make more money.

I guess it was a good idea that they put Vampy Weeks in their commercial so they can have an 'upscale brand' instead of being 'the official street racing car of AZNs.' [via Tokyo Drifting while ur 2 fast and 2 furious gone in 60 seconds]

Did Vampire Weekend strategically compose this song to make 'mad bank'?
Does Vampy Weeks have to raise 'mad capital' to pay Kirsten Kennis' broke ass?
Do u think the label is 'green lighting' these commercials bc of Kirsten?
Will 'Holiday' be used in another holiday-themed ad before the year is over?
Will Vampire Weekend's exposure in these commercials lead them 2 become 'bigger than U2' when their next album is released?
Is 'writing songs 4 commercials' the best way to make $$$ as a band?
Will Vampy Weeks next album get a 10.0 from p4k?

Tommy Hilfiger buys a Vampire Weekend song to put in their commercial


Tommy Hilfiger is a popular 'preppy wave' brand that 'effing prepsters' like to wear, except maybe they don't wear Tommy Hilfiger any more and only gang members wear it + their smell ghetto cologne. Can't really tell who 'still wears' Tommy Hilfiger. Feel like preppy bros just wear Polo / Northface / ________. Anyways, they have some new commercial that is trying to rip off the Wes Anderson wave and make it seem like their clothes are meaningful or something, and they utilized the Vampire Weekend song "Holiday" in the commercial.

It makes sense that they purchased the rights 2 the Vampire Weekend mp3 "Holiday" to try to save their brand. Remind ppl "We are more than just a brand that sells oversized polo shirts 2 cholo gang members."

Do yall know who the Tommy Hilfiger brand resonates with?

Is it one of those brands that gang members wear, or do 'real preppy ppl' wear it?
Is this some sort of agreement 2 give Kirsten Kennis a modeling contract with Thomas Hillfingers?
Is "Holiday" the best mp3 on "Contra" or are u on #TeamHorchata?
Should I write a blog post abt how this is a 'perfect pairing' because 'Vampy Weeks is sooo preppy'?

Will Vampire Weekend's "Contra" be the album of the year in 2k10?


Is Ezra Koenig 'the hottest bro in indie music'?

Urban Outfitters rebrands with an ugly new logo

It seems like in 2k10, every company is trying to rebrand, creating a new logo that makes their brand seem modern/bad ass/etc. I remember when GAP made a new logo, but then ppl on the internet were like 'that is ugly + stupid, yall', and then they changed it [link].

Urban Outfitters decided to create a new logo. I don't even know if they have an official logo. Maybe this is just a crappy logo that they put up on their website to drive traffic after the new GAP logo got so much internet buzz. Probably just trying to design something way dumber, see if it is a good marketing gimmick.

Does Urby Outtie have an official logo? Do they have a 'flexible logo' that represents constant evolution + 'now-ness'? Do logos grow old and die? Should Coca Cola rebrand [via cursive]?

Do u think they used Microsoft Word Art to design their logo? Is the Adobe Creative Suite 'overrated'?

Do u believe in the power of graphic design?
Is Urban Outfitters a legit store, or the ultimate entry level over-priced thrift store?
Why do u think Urby Outfitters is doing well, but Am Appy is 'swirling down the shitter'?
Do u think re-branding helps brands sell more goods?
Does this logo 'crush it'?
R u gonna start using Microsoft Word / Word Art 2 do most of ur designing?
What is 'the new aesthetic' now that the Helvetican look is 'dead'?
Is the new Myspace logo the #1 re-brand of 2k10? [link]

Urban Outfitters


Urban Outfitters is an alternative retailer that sells a bunch of clothes and knick knacks 2 alt ppl.

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GAP pusses out on their sweet new logo bc ppl on the internet made fun of them

Recently, the popular American retailer THE GAP 'rebranded' with a sweet new Helvetica logo [link]. Basically just opened up photo shop, made a lil box, used the 'fade' tool, then wrote "Gap" in Helvetica font. Pretty chill with me. Nothing wrong with Helvetty.

Then a bunch of ppl on the internet made fun of them because it was such a 'lame' logo. Anyways, it seems like The GAP reverted to their old logo just because their new logo was a trending topic on twitter. Do u think the GAP was 'cyberbullied' into changing their logo? Should they have believed in their identity?

“Since we rolled out an updated version of our logo last week on our website, we’ve seen an outpouring of comments from customers and the online community in support of the iconic blue box logo.

“Last week, we moved to address the feedback and began exploring how we could tap into all of the passion. Ultimately, we’ve learned just how much energy there is around our brand. All roads were leading us back to the blue box, so we’ve made the decision not to use the new logo on any further.

“At Gap brand, our customers have always come first. We’ve been listening to and watching all of the comments this past week. We heard them say over and over again they are passionate about our blue box logo, and they want it back. So we’ve made the decision to do just that – we will bring it back across all channels.

Kinda unchill. Seems like they shoulda made a logo that they believed in, and stuck with it. Wish they understood that when it came to branding/user-experience, the customer isn't always right. It is the brand's responsibility to curate a modern experience for their customers.

Maybe they are just trying to 'milk the meme' or something to get more 'advertising on blogs.'
Do yall think that the Gap is 'mad lame'?

Here is the rest of the press release where they 'totally puss out' and say 'we should have consulted yall with some sort of facebook voting system or something. Sorrie, but glad yall <3 our old logo.'

“In the meantime, the website will go back to our iconic blue box logo and, for Holiday, we’ll turn our blue box red for our seasonal campaign.

“We’ve learned a lot in this process. And we are clear that we did not go about this in the right way. We recognize that we missed the opportunity to engage with the online community. This wasn’t the right project at the right time for crowd sourcing.

“There may be a time to evolve our logo, but if and when that time comes, we’ll handle it in a different way. “

Do brands take 'random ppl on the internet too seriously'?
Was the Gap Helvetica logo really 'a failure' or is it just as forgettable as the old/new Gap logo?
Should brands ever re-brand?
Should all brands consult with relevant bloggers/super users before morphing their identity so that there isn't an 'internet uproar' abt their new logo?
Is The Gap logo the ultimate 'logo failure meme'?
Should the Harvard School of Biz write a Biz Case abt the Gap logo, and how this whole fiasco has no impact on sales?

R u gonna miss the 'new, old' The Gap logo?

Some AZN flight attendants try 2 go viral by flying the slutwave


The slutwave is an exciting new genre of music featuring artists such as Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and even Rihanna. They are all basically trying to wear the least amnt of clothes/make the sexiest dry humping/blowjob dances possible while still appealing 2 tweens and Christian Middle America. It seems like these airline flight attendants are trying to 'calm down' their customers who are abt to fly in2 the air by dancing around to some slutwave music by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. They are giving the customers safety instructions in case of an emergency, but at the same time, they are making it interesting, engaging consumers by making them 'a lil bit erect'.

They dance around, shaking their perfect AZN booties 2 "Just Dance", a 1990s hit by Larry Gaga and "California Gurlz--We <3 2 give BJs" by Katy Perry. So exciting, so modern. Really helped me be 'less afraid 2 die' in a huge airplane crash. Started 'carrying on' my own parachute bc I have a fear of flying :-(

Are yall afraid of dying in a plane crash?
Do yall h8 when they tell u how not 2 die when ur plane is abt to crash?
Do u think u will ever end up in a water evacuation?

Just wish I could be a flight attendant who 'goes viral' by offering a unique customer service


Just want a job where I have the ability to show off my 'talents' + personality that exist beyond my 'boring ass job.'
Want to be part of a brand that encourages

Will the airline industry continue to 'bleed money' unless they jazz up in-flight entertainment with topless dancers + mobile bath houses?
What is the most authentic airline experience? Jet Blue? GoGo in-flight internet? Southwest Airlines? Virgin Consumer Space Flights?
Do yall wish these flight attendants 'stripped naked' and let every1 'motorboat' them 2 go viral?

What is it about the flight attendant personal brand that is 'so sexie'?
Do they just seem like 'easy women' with no sense of home who just want to 'make love' to business travelers?

Jason Schwartzman's career hits new low as he gets naked 2 sell iPad apps


Jason Schwartzman is an alt actor who starred in Rushmore. He is sorta like the alt version of Macaulay Culkin [via Home Alone] because no1 really wanted him to grow up, and no matter how old he gets, every1 still imagines him as Maxwell Fischer, the lovable dreamer from Wes Anderson's Rushmores film. Basically, Bill Murray and JSchwartz have been 'coasting' off solid performances in that movie for the past decade.

Anyways, kinda worried abt JSchwartz. Recently, he starred in the BOMB movie called Scott Pilgrim Vs The World : The Michael Cera Chronicles. Now it seems like he is in this iPad commercial. Kinda wish I could build a time machine, and travel back in time with the knowledge of indie films that I have now. Basically would have made sure he was in every possible hit indie film. Garden State, Lost In Transitions, Avatar, and even probably would have got him cast as Iron Man / Spider Man.

Gotta admit, he was in a tough position cuz he probably 'nailed' his best role when he was 9 years old, but kinda wish he had gone mad mainstream so he wouldn't have to 'overthink' his participation in non-alt movies. Would rather have seen him evolve into an action star / romantic comedy zany love interest+bff instead of preserving his brand as an alt icon. Sad to see him in a magazine iPad app commercial

Not even sure what 'The New Yorker' is or if it is relevant. If I had to guess, it is probably part of the New York Times blog website, and they are trying to launch an iPad app to appeal 2 young ppl since magazines and newspapers are dying.

Did yall see his peen in this video? Do u think his schlong will help sell apps? Will 'apps' save the newspaper magazine industry?

Does this iPad app interface seem 'effing sweet'?
Is iPad gonna replace 'paper' / 'real computers' in 2k14?
Is this commercial authentic, or did Jason Schwartzman 'mortgage his brand' for a few ad dollars?
Are 'high end viral web shorts' the most authentic brand of commercials?
Is JSchwartz 'hot'?
Do u read the New Yorker Times, or do u just chill on
Do u feel sad about the 'Wes Anderson Curse' where former stars in his movies are forced to peddle technology in commercials 2 save their careers? [via Luke Wilson AT&T commercial]


Democratic Party redesigns logo to tap into the post-Obama ‘HOPE’ brand

After the election of Barrack Obama in 2002, beating George W. Bush III in one of the most heated elections of all time, Democrats have been trying hard 2 hold on to their liberal, left wing power. Many say that the power of graphic design is what got Barry Obama elected into the Presidency chair because he inspired Americans 2 align with his logo that was all about 'HOPE'. It seems like the Democratic Party has 'unveiled' a new logo / brand / corporate identity. They are probably trying 2 ride Obama waves or something because he is trying to get re-elected with all of the other Presidents in every other State in the Union Confederacy. Who are u gonna vote for for mayor/city councilman/senator / Supreme Court Jousteece?

Logos + graphic design play a huge part in my consumer decisions every day. Something abt the Taco Bell / Pizza Hut logo makes me go there for lunch every day.

Really trying 2 analyze their new logo / brand. It seems like their old brand was all about 'being a donkey' and also 'being an American.' Now their new logo is about 'being a chill, minimalist Democrat' who only really cares abt reading design blogs, sweet fonts, and tweeting with @ObamaBro.

It seems like the "O" surrounds the D to represent the omniscient presence of Barrack Obama in the context of the modern Democratic Party.

Do u think their logo design and corporate identity will inspire u 2 vote for them?
Did Obama 'revolutionize politics' with effective graphic design?
Will the Republicans come up with a new logo in Comic Sans?
Is Obama 'overrated' as a politician, leader, and graphic designer?
Is the Obama brand more relevant than the Democratic Party Brand?
Are 'independents' ruining life 4 Democrats?
When Obama takes our country 'down the shitter' in 2011, will we all join chill ass Tea Parties?

An Am Appy employee is ‘found dead’ at their corporate HQ

Just read on Gawker, the official 'let's put Am Appy out of business by exposing their unchill ways' blog, that a bro died while working at Am Appy. Not sure what happened.

American Apparel just can't catch a break. An employee was found dead at the company's downtown Los Angeles headquarters yesterday, adding yet another misfortune to the clothing retailer's ever-growing list of public relations woes.

County coroner officials identified the deceased as Danarichie Lyndon Sindo,

At this point, was kinda confused about the name. Figured that since it was 'ethnic', it was probably just a factory worker, and was wondering why the death wasn't 'covered up', but then kept reading:

County coroner officials identified the deceased as Danarichie Lyndon Sindo, a 44-year-old native of the Philippines whose Facebook page says he worked as a data analyst for the company since 2008.

Details are still scarce, but LAPD spokesman Lt. Andrew Neiman confirmed to Gawker that Sindo reported feeling sick and vomiting before leaving to "get some air" on the roof. He "then went back inside and eventually went either into the bathroom or locker room and later was discovered deceased." According to a source, the body was discovered around 5 p.m. in one of the building's fifth-floor restrooms.

Not sure what happened. Do u think it was toxic t-shirt fumes?
Do u think it was 'totally unrelated 2 work conditions' cause of death and blogs are just gonna 'assume it was from sex/drugs/corruption/enslavement of Mexican workers' because that is the Am Appy brand?

R u worried abt Am Appy?
Have yall ever seen one of their employees 'die' at 1 of their retail stores?
Do u wish u knew what the bro looked like? Can we assume he was an Am Appy model, and that every1 who works there has a hot, alt aesthetic?

Is it ur 'dream job' to work in 'corporate' for Am Appy?

R u worried that Am Appy is 'gonna go under'?
R u sad for this bro?
Does God h8 Am appy?
Do u hope they write a Law & Order / CSI about a 'death at a retail factory'?
Should am appy outsource their operations to an AZN country so that we don't have to find out abt it when some1 dies while they are working, and their body can just be 'put in the furnace' and their families will be compensated fairly with $250 (50% of their expected lifetime income).

Steve Aoki and the Cobrasnake make some commercial for a deadly rave


Steve Aoki is a popular nightlife DJ, and Mark "The Cobrasnake" Hunter is a popular photographer + lifestyle personal brand human. They are known as 'the kings of the LA electro scene' because they are able to appeal to every1 who wants to be alt in California--white entry level tweens, MexiAlts who just wanna rave, AZNs who drive sweet Honda Civis, and even mainstream dbags who just want to pound their fists in a club while listening 2 an exclusive DJ set by 'some1 famous' (while being photographed).

Anyways, it seems like they made some sort of commercial for a 'rave.' Feel like every music festival in California can be called a 'deadly rave' now, since ppl have died at them. Not sure if this is fair, but gonna go ahead and call Coachella a 'deadly rave' too.

Not sure if this commercial is 'on TV' in the greater Los Angeles area, or if it is just for people to embed on their facebook pages. Seems important to get 'the endorsement' of alt celebs so that ppl know an event will be relevant.

Bands. Sick artists. Heavy DJ sets. Tons of hot bitches. Chillin with Stevebro and Cobrabro. Probably some free Energy Drinks. Worried that every music festival is 'the same' now since they all book the same artists and offer the same amenities. Hope a music festival offers stadium seating sometime soon.

Does this commercial seem chill?
Do they seem like chill bros?
Is the California Electro Rave scene 'going mainstream'?
Whenever u hear about a music festival in California, do u get scared that some1 is gonna die?
Do u wish u could work for a media company in California and make movies/commercials?
Are these bros on the 'front line' of what is relevant in Los Angeles?
Are Steve Aoki and/or the Cobrasnake 'relevant' in 2k11?

The Cobrasnake

Alternative Celebrity

Mark Hunter is the Cobrasnake, some bro who travels around the world taking pictures of alt shit so now he has a lifestyle brand.

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Honda makes car commercial that ‘makes fun of effing hipsters’


Not sure if it is 'still cool' and 'bloggable' to make fun of hipsters. This HONDA commercial for their new car called the HONDA JAZZ was apparently made for the continent of Australia. Think every1 there is kinda alt or something. N e ways, this commercial just 'makes fun of' how 'hipsters' think that they are individuals, and they collect vinyl, use polaroid pix, ride fixed gear bicycles, read 'deep' authors/philosophers, and drive cute lil modern hatchback station wagon sporty cars. Tries to 'take on' concepts like 'consumer identity' while providing relevant commentary on modern subcultures.

Do u want to buy one of these cars because u 'are a hipster' or because 'u want to make fun of hipsters' while driving around in the lil car?

Do u think this commercial is 'spot on' and 'friggin hilarious'?

N e ways, here is another commercial for their lil car that makes fun of black people / hip hop culture / the rap community. Seems potentially racist, but I am not sure if there are black people in Australia to get pissed at HONDA.


Do yall like hipster bashing?
Do yall like 'black ppl' bashing?
Are these commercials 'funny' or 'lame'?
Were these commercials just designed to 'get viral blog coverage' but not really inform people about the product?
Do u want to buy a fuel efficient, sporty, multifunctional modern station wagon?
Are yall bros with HONDA or do u prefer Mazda / Nissan / Volkswagen / Prius / Lexus / Ford / Chevrolet?
Should I buy a 'jazz'?
Should they rename their car the Honda Indie?
Who 'invented' hipster bashing, and should they 'sue' Honda for stealing their memes [via Vampire Weekend cover art]?

That band who wrote a song for Converse performs it live, sounds ‘terrible’


Best Coast, Rostam Batmanglij, and some rapper named Kid Cudi 'wrote an indie jingle 2gether for Converse.' They are really milking the meme for blog coverage, making a music video and making sure every alt/afro american who likes one of these bands is 'aware' of the song.

They seem to have had some 'party' where the song was performed live. Some1 took this video, and it seems 'bad.' Not sure if it was because they wrote the song in the studio and never intended to play it live, or if it is just 'a bad song.' Maybe Converse should have rented them a practice space, or possibly made them 'lip sync' the song to make sure it didn't sound so poor. Feel like their brand managers 'really let them down.'

Feel like the Vampy Weeks bro is just chillin, playing some guitar, but the rapper dude sounds terrible (maybe that is how all rappers sound live. Best Coast's voice seems 'under stress'. Might be a bad night, but might be 'exposed.' Rapper just keeps mumbling all over the song then tries to sing with Best Coast.

Does the song sound 'bad' live, or is it just a bad sound rip?

Here is some blog's writeup, trying to 'kid' readers into thinking the performance was 'good'/'worth taking seriously'. Not sure why some blogs can't just let performances/bands 'suck':

We all know that music is fragmented these days—a different venue, CD, subculture, genre for every type of person in the world. And we definitely know that that those different musical worlds don’t often collide with each other either. That really sucks, too, because when they do, like they did last night for the Converse: Three Artists, One Song show, the friction is pretty real and pretty beautiful. Kid Cudi, Bethany Cosentino of Best Coast, and Rostam Batmanglij from Vampire Weekend don’t seem to have much in common, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Their performance of the song last night at Music Hall of Williamsburg highlighted that while the whole isn’t necessarily better than the parts, it might be just as good. Plus it’s kinda awesome to see all three of them on stage at once.

N e ways, seems like this meme is over. As a blogger, I felt a 'huge internal struggle' during the whole thing, since I 'didn't want to be a pawn in a marketing scheme' but just wanted to give people the opportunity to discuss and analyze a 'modern product marketing initiative.'

What brand + buzzbands will be the next to collaborate on an mp3 release?
Will Mountain Dew + Converse 'keep striking out'?
Will this collab be a 'blemish' on all of these humans' careers?

BRANDING STRATEGY EXIT INTERVIEW: Do yall feel 'more or less likely' to buy Converse shoes now that this is over?

Best Coast


Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

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Best Coast and Vampire Weekend sign record deal with Converse, release blog mp3 content

Converse and other brands with huge marketing budgets doing the thing where they hire bloggable artists, then get them to make some MP3, then the brand gets to 'release the MP3' in order to get blog buzz from bloggy woggies. Not sure what to call these things, maybe just 'brand record labels.' I guess the concept is that if I 'like these artists', I will like their brand or something.

Converse threw 'mad bank' at Kid Cudi, Bethany Consentino of Best Coast, and Rostam Batmanglij from Vampire Weekend. Not sure who Kid Cudi is, but I think he is a 'modern blipster rapper.' Best Coast is probably supposed to appeal to indie females and blogbuzzbros. The Vampire Weekend bro is probably supposed to appeal to 'mainstreamers', mindie bros, and the homosexual community.

They threw down a sweet collab, and I guess the goal is to create the perfect 'genre transcending' mp3, one of the great mp3s in the history of the world.

Is this song 'any good' or is it just a buzzband pupu platter of an mp3?


Do we live in an era where fans are 'genuinely excited' about these types of collaborations sponsored by brands?
Do u resent bands for taking 'mad bank' from brands, or are u relieved that they are getting paid?
Which member of this collab deserved 2 get paid the most: Rostam bro or Kid Cooties?

I remember the last edition of this Converse gimmick with Julian Casablancas, Santogold, and Pharrell. Not sure if they released an 'iconic mp3' or if it was just a good lil ditty to put in a Converse commercial.


It seems like there always has to be 1 white man, 1 black man, and 1 female (race optional) in order to appeal to a wide set of demographics/get covered on a multitude of blogs.

Did this mp3 'kill it'?
Should Converse try to create a 'good mp3' instead of just doing pupu platters?
Does Converse need to advertise, or will people always just buy their shoes?
Do fans take these types of brand-released MP3s seriously?
Do u think Best Coast was difficult 2 work with because she was so blazed?
Should Vampire Weekend hire Best Coast to join their band for their next album to sell 2x as many records to female demographics?
Did Ezra Koenig 'demand 2 much money' to be a part of this collab?
R u sooo tired of brand record labels [via Mountain Dew, Levi's, etc]?
Do marketers need to come up with a 'new gimmick' 2 get us excited?
Are blogs 'slaves' to certain artists, required 2 blog about them no matter what?
Would Pitchfork 'best new music' this shit, or would they just make it a 'passing blog bit'?

Best Coast


Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

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Sunkist Soda makes their brand more alt, lets Jared Leto score their new commercial


Sunkist is a popular orange soda, competing with orange sodas like CRUSH and FANTA in order to create the perfect orange soda formula. They are in search of a demographic of alternative ppl who 'love orange soda.' Colored sodas are stereotypically associated with minorities (red, purple, orange = for browns and blacks) but it seems like they are trying to give Sunkist a new vibe. Something that 'hipsters', 'alts' and Beach Bros can drink when they get blazed, maybe.

Maybe they are trying to create a more meaningful Mountain Dew, like something that is for xtreme alts, except when they feel like chilling. Hope 'Orange Label Sound' launches soon.

Can't believe they picked the majestic song "Kings and Queens" by Jared Leto's buzzband 30 Seconds To Mars. Feel like that song is 'hilarious' since they are trying so hard to be the most meaningful alt rock band of all time. In the original video, a clan of bicycle alts roam the streets of Los Angeles, searching for meaning.


Seems like Sunkist is trying to create a group of consumers similar to the alts seen in this video. Alts who vibe out to majestic altrock, living in a post-apocalyptic urban environment, where nothing matters except for beverage choices.

<3 u J Leto. U write the best soda songs. Way better than MTN DEW BROS

What's yalls favourite orange soda?
Do u think Sunkist will rebrand itself successfully and make more money?
Is Jared Leto the perfect alternative spokesman?
Should Sunkist try to ride chillwaves to sell more sodas?
Are colored sodas for minorities?

Red sodas are for __________ (Mexis?)
Purple sodas are for _________ (Blacks?)
Green sodas are for __________ (xtreme white bros/white trash/skaters)
Diet sodas are for __________ (rich, fat whites/dumb girls)
Regular brown colas are for ________ (every1)
Water is 4 ________? (no1)
Is coffee for _______?
Is tea for ________? (AZNs/Indians)
Lemon Lime sodas are for _______?

What kind of soft drinks do yall drink?
Do different colored people have a natural affinity towards certain soft drinks, or is it just 'branding'?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

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