Yall... Can't believe Halloween is already over. It seems like the goal of the modern Halloween costume is to 'go moderately viral' on the internet. Ur Halloween Costume can last forever if it is 'memorable enough' to be 'worth blggng about.'
These are the alt-est costumes of 2k9. Which 1 should win the most 'indie pitchfork points' for being creative/original/relevant?
Banger-era masked DJs.
Daft Punk bro costume.
Justice Xavier DeRosnay Rentacop.
PoliceBro of Justice #2.
Zany bro from the Office
Continue reading 4 more zany alt costumes...
Photo by the cobrabro
Yall. Still searching for an authentic tattoo 2 get drawn on to my body. I feel like no matter what design I pick, it will be pretty 'kewl', but I just need to find a place on my body 2 actually put it. Think that I might have it done underneath my armpits. I feel like I'm in a lot of situations where I raise my arms, like at bad ass concerts and other places where u get pumped up like bars and sporting events. It makes sense 4 me to get one under my pits.
Does n e 1 know if u have 2 have ur hair removed before u get a tattoo somewhere? Not sure how body hair can interact with a tatty. Would feel kinda weird having to shave my pits so ppl could see my tattie. Just want to be natural.
Nervous about my first tattoo. I just want it to like 'make sense', ya know. Not just like 'a random set of tattoos like Marc Jakebros.
My body is not a sheet of a doodle pad. It is a canvas/photoshop .psd file upon which art is generated.
Previous Tattoo memes
Antsy. Doing some online shopping. Might regret it.
Think I need to buy this new keyboard, to remind me of the city/graveyards/death. I think this is supposed 2 remind u about how the whole world is built on computers [via data entry on keyboards], or something like that. 'and then we all end up 6 feet underground.'
Paul Chan meme
Might get this Photoshop tie. Need it 2 prove that I 'get' design. Need people to know that these icons are the tools through which I can make anything happen.
Might get this shirt that is 'a clever take' on that line from the Sixth Sense, and talks about how I feel like I am superior to most people who I encounter during the day.
Might get this shirt that also lets people know that I have a higher state of consciousness/self-awareness than they do. Want them to know not to try to have some dumb conversation with me--I don't have time for that shit.
Might 'brand myself' as some creepy, foreign douchebag who probably 'has too much confidence around women' and 'at his job', and decide to buy a new computer. Will talk about how I am so informed, and in touch with my own needs, then buy a sillie Dell computer
Maybe I'll just 'get blazed' and go 2 IHOP. Eat some pancakes.
Not sure if I am even interested in 'buying shit', but probably more interested in convincing people 2 buy shit. Might start an ad agency, and organize a cult's mass-suicide as a viral marketing campaign for Nike/the company of ur choice.
Will build a shoe inspired by the event, and have Kobe Bryant/ LeBron James wear the shoes at the Olympics in China.
This will be part of a global plan/brainwashing scheme to 'take down the Chinese' and take back control of being 'the most relevant country on the Earth.'
Need investors. Ideas take money, whether it is buying something 4 urself, or executing a creative project.
Worried that I don't have much money left in my bank account. Might have to fly 2 France so that I can 'pretend I am rioting in the name of change', but actually just 'try to steal some cash from an ATM.' Might have to alter my physical appearance to make me seem like a 'bro with no will to live' who would actually 'do something THAT crazie.'
Have yall seen n e thing kewl 2 buy lately?
Have any ideas for projects that u'd like 2 do that would impact the world/ur local community?
Photo via Jezebel
Sometimes I wonder why the characters from childhood educational shows are such relevant figures in our lives'. Maybe it's bc they represent ideals which parents feel comfortable 'outsourcing' to fictional characters. These creatures have a better chance of conveying these critical themes to us than our parents who are not 'vulns' enough 2 talk 2 us about life/issues. 95% of kids find 'miscellaneous creatures' to be easier to talk to than elders like parents, teachers, or civic/community leaders.
Did yall have any 'muppets' who u identified with because ur 'perception of urself' was a lot like a particular character?
Kermit the Frog is a significant figure from the Jim Henson/Sesame Street/Muppet Collective. He had this song called "It's not EZ Being Green." In the song, he starts out singing about his 'desire to stand out.' He wishes he could have a different skin colour/be a different person on the outside. He feels 'ordinary.' He is sad. He wishes he could be unique. We all just wanna be special, yall.
Then in the second half of the song, Kermit starts to accept the fate/circumstances that God and society have assigned him. While he is kinda 'sad', he realizes he needs to stop focusing on 'the desire to be different' and enjoy his meaningless life. These are messages that our parents wish they were able to communicate to us.
"It's Not Easy Being Green" - A Poem by Kermit the Frog [via Jim Henson]
It's not that easy being green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold...
or something much more colorful like that.
It's not easy being green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ord'nary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
or stars in the sky.
But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain,
or tall like a tree.
When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.
Photo via TheFader
Should I become a DJ/performing artist who tries to spread the same core values that children's shows tried 2 spread?
Was Jim Henson a better artist than Andy Warhol/Shephard Fairey/Leo DaVincBro?
Do u value the 'creativity' of ppl like Jim Henson and Walt Disney, or do u think they were 'just kinda krazie'?
XX BONUS JIM HENSON WORKSHOP MUPPETBRO ANALYSIS XX
Photo via Lookbook
Cookie Monster represents ur 'desire for more of stuff that tastes/feels good.' He has no self-control. In his song "C is for Cookie", he accepts that something as simple as a "cookie" is "good enough for me." This is a song about accepting that life might not be THAT meaningful, but maybe u should just be happy about small stuff, and stop trying to search for big lifechanges 2 make u happy.
Do yall think Muppet Collectives are the next Animal Collectives?
Do yall h8 new stuff like Teletubbies/Kid Robot/the Wiggles who trivialize early children's programming?
Should I not let my kid watch TV and only read blogs his whole life?
Do yall ever wish u could 'not be green' [a metaphor powered by Kermit the Frog]?
Photos via Today & Tomorrow
This is an image of a high fashion show where a hot model is wearing clothes with a sunny side up egg on it. I think she also has a baguette on her head. She might be some sort of transformer who transforms in2 a picnic. Not sure what the dress is trying to 'say', but I think it has sometimes to do with survival, and how we have to go grocery shopping to stay alive, instead of being a hunter and gatherer. Might also have to do with the death of the nuclear family.
I know that I am kind of a 'fashion blog' but sometimes I don't 'get' fashion. It seems like the most bloggable looks are stuff that are too expensive for even upper-middle class people to buy. And most people 'don't look like models' so they look like they are 'trying too hard' when they try 2 look 'all cool and fashion-forward.' It makes me sad when I see poor people who wear 'clothes for poor people that they think are cool, trendy, and sexy.'
Every1 is just trying their best to look presentable and modern. Kinda sad when people 'try 2 b sexie' when they aren't.
I feel like if I saw some girl with eggs on her, it would make me think she is 'trying too hard 2 be kutesy' and probably needs to focus on developing a more intense sexual identity, instead of seeking shelter in deceptive kutesy aesthetics which represent a reluctance to 'grow up.'
Designs by Agatha Ruiz De La Prada
UGH. Still haven't figured out what's the difference between design, art, and memes?
Sometimes I just feel like we live in a world where every1 is just trying 2 b blggd about. Kinda like that 'In the future, every one will be world-famous for 15 minutes' quote by Andy Warhol, except it'll be m0re like:
Yall. Just got back from Foot Locker. Asked them for 'the new Kanye West shoe' and fortunately they have one pair left in my size. I have been looking forward 2 these shoes since the Reebok Pumps came out. I am looking for a shoe that changes society. I prefer to buy products that challenge pre-existing notions of engineering/design.
Kanye West is one of the most brilliant minds of the past 200 years. He is a master of the arts, and he can 'do anything that he puts his mind to.' This is why I was surprised when my Kanye West shoes were so terrible.
s00 uncomfortable. They gave me calluses and I think I might have to get my feet amputated like I have diabetes aka 'the sugar.'
Also the design is a litle bit too zany. I am 'not sure how to fasten it 2 my foot.' There multiple laces, straps, latches, chains, fasteners, knots, and velcro apparatuses that I can't figure out. Kinda makes me wish that I was 'a special needs human' who only had 2 worry about 2 velco straps on my shoe.
Not sure if I should return the shoe, but I already wore it to the Presidential inauguration.
Might buy this zany shoe instead.
Might ride around on Katie Couric's back instead
Might cut out my eyes and replace my hands/feet with paws instead.
[Photo by EZ Fashion]
Also, a group of blipster gang members who were transitioning into the modern thug brand [via Louis Vuitton] mugged me and stole my shoes. Here is a picture of them but I am not sure if I can accurately describe them cuz they were s0 fresh.
Can yall understand this guy, or is he 'just full of babble'?
n e ways...
not sure what I should do about my shoe situation.
I kinda regret 'having idols' who make shoes. Ever since I was a little kid, I always had to buy a shoe that an athlete made. Now I don't know what 2 do. What can I do if I can't trust the celebs who I love?
Will probz just have to get a new pair of my MSTRKRFT Pumas.
or maybe just the SoMe + Busy P Nikes.
////2 many / not enough choices
//// consumer identity is s00 lost. :-(
(Should I become a Kanye West + ANCO only blog?)
Are you interested in looking like Justice?
What if I told you that Justice is releasing some cute jackets and pants? I know these photos look like they are clothes that are made for dolls, but they are for real humans, like yourself.
Do you hang out with a group of people who will respect you more, because you bought a jacket that was designed by Justice?
Are you interested in jeans with subtle, yet loud neon orange buttons to make sure every one knows that you are in jeans designed by Justice?
Would you feel like a more unique individual if your clothing tag said "JUSTICE FOR ALL" instead of "American Apparel"?
If you bought this jacket, would you find a way to make sure that people could see the cross in the inner-lining?
I think Justice failed to capitalize on female markets. Much like professional sports teams make pink versions of their jersey to appeal to girls, Justice should have made a cute pink jacket. For example, NFL Quarterback Peyton Manning only became popular after the release of this pink jersey.
What do yall think of the JUSTICE jackets+pants? R u gonna buy them? I am no designer, but I have watched several seasons of Project Runway. Do you support Justice's 'design collaboration' with Surface to Air? Would you rather buy a jacket at a different store? Just based on the pictures, I'd say they look like clothes for little ass hole 5-12 year old boys whose parents style their hair for them & want them to have 'girlfriends' at age 9.
Who is that alt hottie McHotHot? Well, in case u didn't recognize her jaded-wave gaze and her keut bod, it happens to be popular tween fashion blogger 'Tavi Gevinson', who got all fashion internet blog famous because she was a fun-loving tween with a REFINED, HIGH-LEVEL taste in stuff, then ppl were all like 'ur so kewl and ur only 12 years old' and then she became marketable, and now magazines/designers 'use' her to get press even though she is the same as any other tween who shops at Claire's, Hot Topic, Old Navy, Justice, and where ever the hell girls shop.
Anyways, 'the blogosphere' is creaming their pants bc she is 'becoming a woman' and showing off her NEW BOD. I can't tell if she looks 'unique' or if she is going to turn into 'every other alt skank' who I have my eyes on about an hour before my local dive bar closes.
Miss u alternative innocence. HAVING SAID THAT... VA VA VA VOOM, BB!
When Tavi isn't doing normal teenage things like attending music festivals with friends she can often be found doing the extraordinary. At the moment she's co-writing a book about her life with Marisa Meltzer with contributions from Miranda July and the Rodarte Sisters.
She used to be a kutesy alt tween... but now, she is not a girl not yet a woman, which basically means the entire alt-osphere is waiting 4 her to turn 18. Do u miss the old Tavi?
She's only 15 years old, so I guess every1 will have their 'child predator glasses on' for ~3 more years.
Is Tavi 'a genius'?
Will she become 'less special' as she becomes older?
Will she get in2 dangerous drugs and fall out of blog relevancy?
Is Tavi the #1 most famous alt-teen girl on the internet of all time, or are u still more in2 Kiki Kannibal?
is it 'kreepy' to have an alt-countdown-to-18? Is Tavi the 'Miley Cyrus of the alt-osphere'?
They only want u when ur seventween....
Levi's is a popular mainstream / alternative jeans + denim company that makes various styles of jeans for all types of humans. Fat, skinny. Alt, mainstream. Bros, broads. Tweens, grown ass men. Anyways, we're living in the modern consumer landscape where retailers have to 'memefy' their products in order to drive traffic to their website. Levi's created the Ex-Girlfriend Jean just 2 ride the hipster bashing alt blog meme wave.
Are yall gonna buy these skinny jeans, or are they too skinny?
Would u rather just buy girl jeans?
Are skinny jeans still alt?
Remember the girlfriend with the great style? Here's a tribute to her -- a fit that's super-snug allover, an update of the five-pocket classic that's as skinny as it gets. Made with plenty of stretch. This pair of Levi's® Jeans is part of our program that minimizes water in the finishing process. Country Of Origin: Imported
WAIST: Sits below waist, 10" rise
FIT: Super Skinny Fit
LEG: Skinny, 13 1/4" leg opening
R u gonna buy these jeans, or do u still just wear Gap Khaki's [via the 1990s]?
What happens if ur GF is actually a mom? [via mom jeans]?
What happens if ur dating a transvestite-wave human who is transitioning from female to male and she wears big baggy jeans to look like a ghetto dude?
Are you going 2 buy 'ex-GF' jeans?
Do yall remember the 'slept over at my BF's house big shirt'? [link]
Do u fit in2 ur GF's jeans?
Are 'girl jeans' still alt, or are they more of a Hot Topic emo trend now?
What pants do u wear?
R u skinnie?
Is ur GF 'mad hefty'?
Will Levi's 'sell out' of these jeans?
Have u ever stolen any property from ur exGF?
Do u retain possession of ur exBF's property?
Do u buy Levi's jeans, or are they 4 lamestreamers?
I am not sure who Alexander Wang is, because I don't really follow fashion. Sometimes I'll watch Project Runway, so maybe that makes me cultured + in touch with modern trends in the fashion industry. Anyways, popular mainstream / alt DJ Diplo was hired by some fashion designer 2 'be a model.' I don't know if he is supposed to look like an 'indie hunk' or what. Seems to just be chillin in a white tshirt or something. Making his usual sillie Diplo faces. I don't know 'what makes a good DJ', but if I had to guess, it would be 'maintaining a crazie twitter account that makes lamestreamers LOL.'
The DJ, producer, and MIA ex-boyfriend added spokesmodel to his resume with a series of Blackberry ads last year, but now he's moving even further in the professionally-handsome direction by starring in a new campaign for T by Alexander Wang alongside up-and-comer Ashley Smith.
Do yall know who Alexander's Wang is?
Would u 'totally bang' Diplo? Will this fashion line 'tank' because of Diplo's modeling?
Does he look like a 'male model' or should he get buffer and show more peen?
Will this help Diplo's career?
Does Diplo look 'hot'?
Is Alexander Wang the most influential twink in the world?
Should Diplo model 4 Abercrombies and Fitches?
Is Diplo a 'killer DJ' or is DJing just abt 'building a brand'?
Do u think his brand would be more valuable if he wore a sillie mask? [via the Deadmauses]
Do yall know if 'Diplo' is Diplo's real name, like his parents named him 'Diplo' or what?
Star Magazine is a relevant crappy celeb gossip magazine, which I think existed before television and blogs. It was designed 2 'get the attention of a lamestream woman at the super market' who has no connection 2 the outside world except thru magazines. She is forced to skim thru these pix of famous ppl and think abt her life 'if she coulda been famous/beautiful/talented', but instead she is forced to take care of 2+ kids and do grocery shopping.
Anyways, Ariel Pink is getting 'really famous' because he was featured as a 'fashion disaster' in Star Magazine. I wonder why they don't 'get' his indie vibes. It seems like this might be one of the top 5 moments in Ariel Pink's career, showing that he has the potential 2 'appeal to mainstreamers.' Wonder if he should 'cut his hair' and write an accessible album that is perfect 4 commercial licensing.
R u 'proud' of Ariel?
R 'we' 'losing' Ariel 2 the mainstream?
Is Ariel Pink 'too zany' 2 ever 'go mainstream'?
Can Ariel Pink become an indie 'fashion icon'?
Should he fire his band and obtain a stylist for his next tour?
Can he brand himself as 'the new Kurt Cobain' or something like that?
Do yall evr read Star Magazine when ur checking out at the grocery store?
Are 'gossip rags' more authentic than 'gossip blogs'?
Is Star Magazine 4 Middle Americans?
Do yall ever buy the magazines that are in the checkout aisle at ur grocery store or are they usually abt aliens?
Animal Collective is one of the most relevant/authentic/critically acclaimed indie concept wave buzzbands of all time, and they are constantly coming up with ways to brand themselves as 'authentic', 'green', and 'way chiller than u.' It seems like their latest gimmick is an 'environmental commerce' gimmick that is built around releasing a lil shoe or something. Feel like it is important to sell shoes because it makes u more famous, like basketball players. I'll never forget the time I got Air Jordans and I was able 2 jump higher. Also the time I got Barry Bonds sneakers, started doing steroids, abusing my family, chilling with back-ne, tons of mood swings, but I hit a lot of home runs and our team won state.
If ur wearing relevant shoes endorsed/created by some1 in ur field, ur gonna excel and become a 'bad ass baller.'
It seems like they ripped of the TOMS business model, and are giving most of the money to charity. Feel like AnCo shoulda just signed a deal with Converse and bought some new hybrid Lexus SUVs with pre-installed car seats or something.
We are so pleased to announce our collaborative project with our long time friends Animal Collective. Each member of the band has designed their own shoe, using Keep silhouettes with all profits from the sales going to the Socorro Island Conservation Fund, a non-profit working to preserve the unique biosphere of the Revillagigedo Archipelago off Baja California, where illegal fishing, in particular of its shark population, is a continual threat.
They are also apparently sending u a cassette tape of unreleased mp3s when u buy one of these shoes. Hopefully some1 who buys them has some technology that converts cassette tape to mp3 and auto-assigns the track data.
R u gonna buy these instead of Air Jordans? Is Kevin Durant better than LeBron James?
If u buy these Avey Tare shoes, are u officially on #TeamAvey?
Will Panda Bear sign with Nike and start some sort of 'shoe war'?
what is the most authentic alternative shoe?
Are these designs 'relevant'?
Are you tired of AnCo doodles?
Does Animal Collective still resonate with blog critics, or has the indiesphere 'evolved'?
Can Panda Bear hurry up and 'release his album?
Does this mean Avey Tare is 'more relevant' than Panda Bear?
R u on #Team Avey or #TeamNoahPand?
Do u think these shoes offer enough support, or should I just wrap my feet in cardboard boxes and doodle on them with Sharpies?
Is this shoe a 'bigger disaster' than the AnCo Guggenheim show? [link]
Gotta give it up 4 my boy Elijah Wood. He 'killed it' in the indie movie "The Lord of the Rings", turning it from a low budget lofi indie flick into a bonafide mainstream cash cow trilogy. Really transitioned from child star to adult actor without 'going crazy', doing mad drugs, and killing himself [via the Two Coreys / Stephanie Tanner meth addict].
Anyways, he went to some alternative fashion show, and it looks like he really 'analyzed the clothes with a critical eye' / eyeball fucked some models hard. He was probs like, "I'm Frodo, yall. Just gotta protect the ring on my peen. " [via simplification of celebrities based on their on-screen personalities].
I see Elijah bro in the background. Hehe. U think he is analyzing clothes or just checking out premium grade-A model ass?
Frodbro seems chill. Feel like any chill bro would go to a fashion show, 'pretend to be into clothes' but really just visualize getting to 'bang' tons of models who are trying to 'make it' in 'the industry'.
Is Elijah Wood 'chill'?
Is he a 'peeping tom', except chilling in public?
When ur famous, do u get to go to a fashion show, then 'hand pick' the model that u want, kinda like a bath house / whore house?
Was Lord of the Rings ur fave indie movie / graphic novel of all time?
Is Elijah Wood a good actor, or does he just look into the camera 'longingly' with his 'beautiful, blue eyes'?
Do u think Elijah Wood could have 'saved' Scott Pilgrim / 500 Days of Summer / Juno?
Basketball jerseys have become a chill, alt look for bros in the summer. Whether you are going to a relevant music festival, grabbing a smoothie at Jamba Juice, or mowing ur parents' lawn in suburbia, the basketball jersey is a great way to stay warm with a breathable product and show off ur alt figure. Kinda an old trend, but I think mainstream sports blogs have been generating 'mad photo gallery hits' by posting 'effing hoopsters wearing basketball jerseys' photo galleries.
Really worried abt the state of modern journalism. Wonder if this bro can email his parents and say 'I was in the NYTimes 4 wearing that jersey you bought me before I was cut from the middle school basketball team.'
Mr. Haavisto, a 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker in Manhattan who wears tortoiseshell glasses and Vans sneakers, is among an unexpected breed of memorabilia collectors: 20-somethings with limited finances and unlimited nostalgia for the N.B.A. players — often obscure — of their childhoods.
Walk Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on a sunny Sunday, and you’ll spy any number of young men in vintage N.B.A. jerseys. It’s a safe bet none are headed to the basketball court.
Jesus Christ. None of them heading to basketball courts. Dear Lord. Vans sneakers. Holy shit. 20-somethings with limited finances. Unlimited nostalgia. Christ.
The article goes on to 'interview' a few alts who wear NBA jerseys, and they 'don't want to say where they found their authentic jerseys' because they are afraid of too many people finding out where 2 find relevant jerseys:
Both Mr. Keegan and Mr. Haavisto say they resent the new-found popularity of these jerseys among the fashion-conscious who are not basketball fans, and lament the rising prices for used and replica jerseys. Mr. Haavisto refused to name his favorite vintage store for fear of word getting around.
I wonder if vintage NBA jerseys are 'the new buzzbands' via not wanting mainstreamers to discover them/get their hands on them. Do u ever try to keep people from finding out about relevant bands/buzzworthy albums?
The article then goes on to admit that this article is just trying to 'get in on the hits' that all the blogs are getting by posting 'hoopster' galleries:
the sports blog Deadspin.com asked readers to submit photos of themselves in their favorite jerseys for an online feature. A 75-photograph series from Lollapalooza had over 52,000 page views.
Does n e 1 know how much a page view is worth in internet dollars?
Do u wear vintage clothes/jerseys to connect with ur youth/the past?
Are retro NBA jerseys an 'authentic trend', or has the trend been around for a while, but the blogosphere is just 'figuring out the appropriate way 2 memefy this meme'?
Have u 'made it' as a human/trend/cultural movement when u end up in the New York Times?
Is this bro a 'hipster' or just a '20-something'?
Then they interviewed popular jam band singer Dave Matthews and he tried to be all deep:
David Matthews, a contributing editor to Deadspin, sees a possible psycho-social imperative behind the trend. “A friend of mine thinks that wearing an N.B.A. jersey is a way of showcasing your masculinity after years of figurative castration brought on by skinny jeans and the like,” he said.
Wonder if I should just tuck my cock between my legs, walk around with a mangina, and chill in a WNBA jersey.
Is the NYTimes 'relevant' or just a blog content aggregator?
What is the most alt retro NBA jersey?
Should Am Appy start selling vintage NBA jerseys 2 save their business?
Should I move 2 Brooklyn and try to 'start a trend' so that I can get a writeup that launches my career?
From what I understand, Michael Jordan was 'the greatest basketball in the history of the world' before he 'took his talents to South Beach [via LeBron James]. At a recent concert in Chicago, IL, Christopher Tomson, the Vampire Weekend drummer wore an NBA jersey to 'get the crowd pumped up', as if they were supporting their world champion Chicago Bulls. It seems like he could have worn a 23 MJ jersey, or even a post-ironic 45 Michael Jordan Jersey. Instead, he went with the greatest white NBA player of all time (even better than Larry Bird), Toni Kukoc.
It seems like maybe this was to appeal to white/Eastern-European markets. Heard they are really into the NBA/emerging indie bands.
Did yall ever watch Michael Jordan play?
Was Toni Kukoc 'better than' MJ?
Did Chicago win all of its championships due to Toni Kukoc?
Is Toni Kukoc one of the top NBA players of all time?
Do u wish he found an alt Dennis Rodman jersey?
Will the Bulls beat the Heat in the 2k11 playoffs?
Who is the greatest NBA player of all time?
Was Michael Jordan overrated as a human, father, basketball player, and brand?
Who is the best white player in the NBA right now? Manu Bronobilli? Steve 'Altbro' Nash?
Is Vampire Weekend the last great American band?
Who is more likely to 'get' indie music: MJ or Toni Kukoc?
Is LeBron James better than Toni Kukoc?
Do u feel more emotionally connected to a band when they come to your town, and 'pay homage' 2 a local sports team/eatery/politician/famous brand?
It's soooo hard 2 find a pair of jeans that fits me because I am a woman who is transforming into a pear-shaped body/because I am a bro who is 'starting to drink tons of brewskies every night.' I used to wear Levis skinny jeans, but now I am 'fat as hell' and just searching for something that fits comfily around my big ol belly/rapidly expanding midsection. Pants that can comfortably help me waddle my 'fat ass' 2 my fourth meal on time.
Glad I found this chart so that I can buy jeans that have a small LISTED waist size, even though my ACTUAL waist size is 'out of control.' Really just helps me [psychologically] to know that my waist size is pretty chill, and that I am 'almost healthy.' Feeling good about myself based on the 'clothes that fit me.' Really hope that by the time I am old, the t-shirt size "XL" is recalibrated and called "S" just to make sure I feel healthy and beautiful.
Really just want to be overweight/obese, but still feel 'skinny' according to my jean size.
Are yall obese or skinny/healthy?
What is the most authentic brand of jeans?
Do u prefer jeans that make sure that there is 'no way in hell' that fatties can fit into their brand?
Are you more chill with brands that help 'fatties'
R u wearing Old Navy Jeans right now, feeling 'fat and ashamed'?
Should I go to Old Navy 4 the rest of my life? Is Old Navy the chillest brand on the planet 4 helping out our image?
What is ur waist size?
According to alternative society, are you 'obese' if ur waist size is over 29/30/32/34/50/80 inches?
What brand of jeans do u wear?
What types of jeans are for fat people?
R u obese, and do u prefer to just wear pants with an elastic band?
Is Old Navy for fat Americans?
Do u prefer jeans that are 'accurately sized' or ones that err on the side of skinniness?
What jean brands 'lie' about their size? Which 1s are accurate?
Do u think alternative retailers should help their target market to 'feel skinny' for the rest of their lives'?
Not sure why rappers release shoes. I guess it is because they are 'basically the same as basketball players' / have a ton of crossover in their target markets. From what I understand, all NBA players want to be rappers, and all rappers want to be NBA players, and every1 in America has wanted to be either a rapper/NBA player at one point in their lives' (white or black).
N e ways, Jay-Z released some shoe that is a black Air Force 1. Honestly looks 'the damn same' as every other black nike shoe I have ever seen. Not sure why people would buy these.
Last night, preview photos of the Jay-Z x Nike Air Force 1 “All Black Everything” Collection surfaced online to many people’s surprise. This collaboration, which only features two pairs of five new designs, is currently being auctioned off on eBay. Much like the Nike Air Force 1 WBF Collection, each pair involved in this collection is inspired by five countries including the USA, France, China, Puerto Rico and Brazil. However, this time, each sneaker is obviously done up in all-black. Additionally, each sneaker features its own distinctive texture makeup and a multi-colored, translucent outsole that features the respective country’s flag colors. You can now place on bid on each one of these Air Force 1s now on eBay. Expect to pay a hefty price if you’re lucky enough to win!
Sad I can't just go to my local Footlocker / Payless and pick up these kicks. Guess Jay-Z doesn't care abt the common man. Wish he was just selling shoes to poor people for like $20 per pair, giving people access 2 affordable, ergonomic shoes.
I think his nickname HOV, so he put it on his shoe.
From what I understand HOV stands for 'high-occupancy vehicle' lane, which is what cars with 2 or more people get to drive in
In transportation engineering and transportation planning, a high-occupancy vehicle lane (also called an HOV lane or carpooling) is a lane reserved for vehicles with a driver and one or more passengers. These lanes are also known as carpool lanes, commuter lanes, restricted lanes, diamond lanes, express lanes, and are called transit lanes in Australia and New Zealand.
Do yall vibe in the HOV lane when u go back 2 suburbia?
Is the HOV lane good for encouraging middle class suburbanites to 'carpool'?
Is HOV a 'chill' nickname?
Think that this label means it was 'made with the hands of Chinese tweens'. Feel good about things being made in China.
R u gonna buy these shoes?
Are Jay-Z shoes the new 'Jordans'?
Is his shoe 'less gay' than Kanye West's shoe? [link]
Will buying these shoes make u a better rapper?
Do u want to buy shoes endorsed by indie celebs?
Does Jay-Z need to 'step it up' and make shoes that are more authentic than just forgettable black Nikes?
Should I just vibe out Heaven's Gate style, start a cult, and throw down a mass suicide in some chill black Nikes?
Jared Leto is the lead singer of the popular alt rock band "30 seconds til we get to Mars--Are We There Yet, yall?" His personal brand is 'so out there', and he really represents the old vibes of rock n roll. Just a dude who is all about the performance, the glam, the status, and mother effing rock n roll.
Not sure what his vibe is all about during this show. Seems like a 'poor man's lady gaga' or something. Like he didn't get a legit costume designer, and instead went to a local Walmart crafts section.
Do yall know where I can buy some plastic shoulder pads + lil studs? Does Hot Topic carry those lil things, or maybe at an outdoors store?
Always feel perplexed by this bro. Not sure what world he is living in. Wonder if he is 'insane' or if he is 'chill.' Just trying to figure him out, but not sure if I ever will.
Whenever I feel like getting more confused, I just watch 30 Seconds to Mars music videos + live performances.
Here is one where they go to Asia and become ninjas, singing a majestic core alt rock song.
Just wanna write majestic alt rock
wear eye liner
bang 'top tier' pussie
change my personal brand every 2-3 months.
Sorta h8 Jar Let
but also kinda
wish I could be him
Should Jared Leto just 'be himself'?
Or should he try to ride slutwaves?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars 'the best rock n roll band of all time'?
I have never read the Harry Potter books, nor have I seen the movies because I don't really like chain movies, even though I enjoy the consistency, familiarity and franchise structure of chain restaurants. It is actually my dream to open up a series of food franchises in a small town, forcing local businesses to shut down, making their former employees work for me at lowered wages where their 'seniority' is irrelevant.
N e ways, the girl from Harry Potter seems to have gotten a 'little boy haircut', probably to look alt, and possibly to 'appeal to child predators. Feel like she should do something zany with her hair, maybe 'spike it up' like a tween boy', or do a progressive wedge/Caesar haircut. Do u remember that time she went to that Music Festival with an Alty McAltAlt? [link] Do u think he cut her hair while she was sleeping?
s000 'millenial' of her to tweet out a new pic of herself just to get approval [via @ replies + retweets]
Here she is 'in the raw'. Feel like she might need to dress 'more feminine' to look less like a little boy so that hornie Harry Potter bros can still think of her as a high end tween sex icon.
Photo by the Arab Parrot
Have yall ever cut ur hair short?
Did u like 'looking like a man'?
was it 'empowering'?
Did u ever pretend you were Ellen Degeneres, wearing a strap-on penis around for the day just to 'feel powerful'?
Do u wish u could stay young forever?
R u more turned on by 'adult women' looking like little boys, or are you more of an authentic child predator who is into 'the real raw shit' [via having sexual issues]?
Or is 'growing old' and experimenting with ur identity and personal brand a fulfilling part of the modern human experience?
Is Emma Watson 'alt' or just 1 of those weirdo people from the UK who don't truly understand the beauty of modern American consumer-wave altdom?
Should Emma Watson start a slutwave band and 'show off dat body', wearing a series of zany coloured wigs?
Bros are searching for a chill ass summer look since they can't just dress slutty like girls can to 'beat the heat.' The need something retro, alt, mainstream, and something that inspires nostalgic images of you. It seems like the 'vintage NBA jersey' was 'huge' at Pitchfork. Not sure if that was actually true, or if bloggers just needed to create interesting photo posts that weren't just bands 'looking all boring, playing ditties on stage.'
I sorta want to start wearing retro NBA jerseys 2 music festivals so that I can 'reconnect' with my aspiring mainstream kid days, back when I thought I would morph into a 7 foot tall black man who could play in the NBA. That was back before my dream was to become a buzzband. Feel like retro NBA jerseys can 'really say a lot about u' if you are aware of NBA Jam/NBA on NBC retro era basketball.
The Charles Barkley Jersey means that 'u luv blow jobs and eating food.'
I think this is Shawn Kemp [via Dream Team 2]. From what I heard, he loves unprotected sex since he has like 30 illegitimate children 'all across the world.'
After LeBron James' "The Decision", it seems lie we are yearning for the simple days of Larry Johnson, back when superstars got our attention by dressing up like a Granny and throwing down sweet ass dunks.
Might put a chillwave / fuzzy buzzy song over this and turn it into a buzzband's 'official video' [via nostalgic images of youth]
Dennis Rodman on the Bulls seems 'relatively alt', but the #91 might be a bit too 'obvious alt.' Would have opted for a rare Mavericks/Lakers Rodman jersey, but Spurs/Pistons seem more likely.
I think Pitchfork Music Festival has tons of
I think Grant Hill might have been 'the greatest Buzz NBA player of all time' but never really panned out. Sorta like when a buzzband makes 1 good mp3, but then sucks, then at the tail end of their career they make a decent album and we can all 'laugh' about their undeserved buzz, but kinda pretend their career was more fulfilling than it actually was.
Worried Magic Johnson jerseys might 'ruin the chill vibes' [via HIV awareness + free condom handouts]. We all wanna 'hook up' but this jersey seems like a 'public service message' 2 bros to 'wrap up + practice safe sex'.
Are alternative bros chill bros in retro NBA jerseys, or should they just neutralize their personal brands and wear Am Appy?
Are vintage NBA jerseys 'authentic'/'alt' or are they trying too hard to reconnect with a bro's mainstream past?
Are 'throwback' jerseys for black people who are into 'streetwear', but post-ironic NBA jerseys still fit u snug since you bought it way oversized during your youth?
What vintage NBA jersey do yall wear? What metaphor/analogy can u tie into ur own personal brand?
Has the NBA 'gone down the shitter' with all of these young NBA players who misinterpreted the Michael Jordan era? [via H8 u LeBron James]
I remember when the festival bro was first invented, he represented a simpler, chiller bro in an Incubus/raver kind of way [link]. It seems like the modern festival bro might be more of a bloggy bro--a hyperconnected bro with high level opinions on indie music who ventures out into the real world several times per year for relevant shows and music festivals. He 'creates his own merch', making it clear that he 'gets' the 'scene', hopefully looking to attract the attention of an entry level blog reader lil slut who giggles at his shirt. If that plan doesn't pan out, 'being blogged about by a festival blogger' seems like a 'decent consolation prize' [via getting to share it in your facebook feed.'
This bro seems to be 'Crazy For You' about Chillwave, the popular post indie genre which garnered critical acclaim in 2k9. Pitchfork Music Festival showcased chillwave artists Washed Out, Neon Indian, and Pavement. It seems like this bro was 'repping hard', just wanting "less chill" and more "wave."
Not sure if his shirt might have been 'anti-chillwave' though. Kinda confused now. Just want to know what this bro is all about to see if we are into the same vibes/walls of sounds.
Have yall ever made ur own shirt?
What type of shirt would u make?
What should the official chillwave shirt say?
Can 'wave' be a genre of music, or can it only be a genre suffix?
Does Pitchfork Music Festival seem like it is filled with chill bros?
Do u still ride chillwaves or what? R u worried about chillwave in 2k11?
A lot of blogs were buzzing that Kanye West had 'broken up' with curvy ass white girl Amber Rose. She was spotted canoodling with NFL player Reggie Bush [link], but that was probs just a '1 night stand', and staying with Kanye West was probably better for her career long-term. Tons of blogspots love 2 cover Kanye memes.
N e ways, they did some photo shoot that seemed 'mildly pornographic' [via Terry Richardson]. Not hardcore stuff, but just super soft stuff. Some people really 'get off' 2 soft porn since it leaves more 2 the imagination.
Do yall like the 'dark, hard, snuffy stuff' or the 'soft porn' type of stuff?
Do yall like public displays of affection?
Not even sure what is happening in this pic. It seems like he thinks she is some sort of 'popsicle', or perhaps he will lick her from her head 2 her toes [via that 1 Ludacris song].
I think this pose 'turns me on' the most. Used to use this one all the time against the lockers in high school/at the movie theatre.
Will 'denim jackets' be a new blipster trend?
Will Kanye West's new album be the album of the year?
Lookbook.nu is a popular alt social network where users come together to create a 'global fashion scene.' From suburban Middle America to suburban UK to suburban Korea, every alt who doesn't live in a relevant alt city can bond with a network of alts, feeling 'together' as they look at what they are wearing.
Some altbros are known to 'pleasure themselves' while browsing lookbook, since it features many barely legal alt sluts [via hipster porn]. Not sure if that is 'legal' or if u can go to jail if they find out.
It seems like alts are getting younger and younger. This 8 year old alt from Portugal named Nana S created her own lookbook profile. When I was 8 years old, social networking, 'the alt internet', and blog buzz didn't even exist. Feel amazed that this lil alt coordinated her own photo shoot, uploaded pix to her computer, touched them up in photoshop, and then uploaded them to Lookbook. Feel like this alt is a 'baby genius' or something.
How alt were u when u were 8 years old?
Will this alt get a modeling contract with Baby Gap/Baby Am Appy?
Is this lil alt a Baby Genius?
Should I move 2 Portugal to raise an alt kid, kinda like Noah Lennox?
Do yall have any other tips to make sure that ur kid grows up to be alt?
Just wanna be a super model
but still kinda be alt
Want to be beautiful
but also have a creative spirit
I want to create
I want to create beautiful things
I want to go to my local arts and crafts store
Pick up a hot glue gun
tons of different fun paints
and a little bag of those eye ball thingies
I am looking at u
with the extra eyes
i have on my jacket
the jacket that i created
i used to be a scrapbooker
i used to crochet tons of shit
i used to cut up t-shirts and call it 'fashion'
but now I'm finally
this is my creation
Looking at u from a post-acid state of mind
does Agyness Deyn look 'mad hot'?
Is Agyness Deyn 'alt'?
Do u think she should grow her hair out and learn how 2 cook [via traditional women]?
Do u think she is a gifted designer, or did some1 else design this jacket?
Is her jacket 'high fashion' or something that homeless ppl should wear?
Have yall ever made ur own fashion at ur local arts and crafts store?
It seems like some1 designed this picture to create a 'snarky take' on the hipster fashion cycle. The JPG photo, possibly designed in Adobe Photoshop or Adobe Illustrator seems to try to 'analyze trends.' Assuming that 'hipsters' are on the cutting edge of culture, this photographic tries to 'give in depth analysis' on how 'effing hipsters' try so hard 2 be individuals, but don't realize that they are 'just part of a fickle cycle.'
Really opened my eyes, and made me feel like I wasn't unique [via Fight Club/Tyler Durden/Brad Pitt].
Do yall think this meme is 'insightful', 'duh', or 'just plain wrong'?
Are there any problems
Do yall feel like every phase of the fashion/trend cycle is sorta ironic/post-trendy?
So many mainstreamers trying to go viral with 'hipster memes.'
Do yall think this cycle applies to every hipster fashion/trend?
(Yes/No) Mom Jeans
(Yes/No) Fixed Gear Bicycles
(Yes/No) Skinny Jeans
(Yes/No) Vintage thriftwave shopping
(Yes/No) being Richie Tenenbaum for halloween
(Yes/No) being Margot Tenenbaum for Halloween
(Yes/No) Record Hats
(Yes/No) The XX
(Yes/No) Animal Collectives
(Yes/No) Child Predator glasses
(Yes/No) Palestinian Scarves
(Yes/No) working at a coffee shop
(Yes/No) working at a starbucks
(Yes/No) going vegan
(Yes/No) going to Six Flags
(Yes/No) wearing khakis
(Yes/No) drinking soy milk
(Yes/No) memeing on the internet
Just trying to 'break down' this meme, and see if it is 'truly insightful' or if
Do yall think this infographic is 'correct'?
Do yall adopt trends or do u transcend them?
Do u h8 'effing hipsters'?
Do all alternative trends turn mainstream, and all conservative mainstream trends turn alt?
I think one of M.I.A.'s latest gimmicks is 'talking about how unoriginal' Lady Gaga is [link]. It seems like M.I.A. is trying to 'pull off her own zany gimmicks' to create bloggable photo memes. Maybe all females in music are the same / have the same goal.
I am not sure if what she is doing 'works for me.' Feel like women in music are supposed to 'dress like sluts' and 'act sexual.' M.I.A. dresses like an electro urban homeless woman, and acts violent. Really not a good combo for me, in terms of 'getting turned on', which is Lady Gaga's model.
Also feel confused by her 'weed goggles.' Would rather just get stoned and have crazy red eyes 2 let people know how danked I am. Worried that she bought that camo hoodie from the 'hunting section' of Wal Mart. (Actually a kinda good idea, might start buying camo hoodies
Are yall more into Lady Gaga or M.I.A.?
Does MIA 'wish' she could have as many twitter followers/fans as Lady Gaga?
Should I buy WEED GOGGLES?
Should I buy more clothes from the Walmart hunting section in order 2 look like I am a Sri Lankan terrorist / freedom fighter?
Is that wig, or is that her real hair?
Can M.I.A. go mainstream, or has she already maxed out her market potential?
Should all artists just dress in 'all black' like the XX?
Bjork showed up at some party for Marina Abramović since her zany exhibit where she stared at people ended [link]. Not sure how to feel about Bjork. I think she might be 'past her prime' so wearing this kind of stuff doesn't really work, even if that is what her personal brand is all about. Like there is a time in every1's life where u have to say 'I am old' and u can't do things that young people do, even if ur relatively healthy.
Feel like old Bjork needs to give up 'zany outfits' and just start shopping at Ann Taylor or something. I just googled for some sensible looks for middle aged women. Seems like Bjork would look like a good mom + professional in one of these pant suits.
Is it time for Bjork to 'tone down' her personal brand?
Did Lady Gaga out-bjork Bjork?
Would yall rather listen to Gaga or Bjork?
Should Bjork get naked and show off her titties to gain mainstream acclaim, sorta like Lady Gaga did?
Do u think Bjork's daughter is proud of her mom, or do u think she wants her to 'chill out' and let her get Americanized?
Does Bjork look 'alll good' in gold?
Some interview with the fashion designer who made the Daft Punk robot suits + some zany M.I.A. costumesBy Carles on 11 May 2010
From what I understand, bands are required to have a 'crazy ass' live show that is not only an audio experience, but also a 'visual spectacle.' Some bands dress like normal people, then just rely on trippy visuals going on behind them. Other bands feel like they have to do something 'special' with costumes to differentiate their brand from all the rest. Sort of like that flamer band Of Montreal.
This lady apparently created the Daft Punk robot costumes. She is some sort of 'fashion engineer', who made Kanye's illuminated heart, and did some miscellaneous work for M.I.A. I guess artists with 'massive budgets' can hire her to create clothes that light up. She says in the video that she gets to work with her fave artists, and that if she listens to an artist enough, eventually they will magically contact her to do business.
The founder and Chief Fashion Engineer of Enlighted Designs, Inc, Janet’s sewn her lifelong passions for fashion, art, and technology together into spectacular lighted costumery that’s illuminated shows like Dancing with the Stars and laser-lined real-life Tron characters Daft Punk (like this and this). And yes, she gave Kanye his illuminated Kanye shades.
In this episode of Motherboard, Janet shows us her San Diego studio and explains her technique for coaxing the robot side out of some of the world’s biggest future-minded performers. After learning to sew at age 7, she began installing miniature lights in her own dollhouse, and as her costume-making hobby bloomed, she began to incorporate more electronics into her fashion. While developing her artistic skills — she’s also a multimedia painter and sculptor — Janet studied engineering, and picked up a PhD in biomechanics. Today, she is arguably the most prolific lighted clothing designer in the world.
Always thought that maybe if I didn't make it into a buzzband, maybe I would go to design school and try to start my own line, kinda like the people on Project Runway. I would get to meet tons of kewl celebrities + artists + musicians, and help them to strengthen their brand thru my artistic vision. Sad that I don't really have any legitimate skills to bring to the table, even though I feel like I am a really interesting person.
Feel like this lady actually went to school and learned real things. Worried that I am too dumb, and don't know enough about physics, engineering, fashion, architecture, or design to actually make something that I could contribute to society on any level.
Do u like musicians who wear costumes, or are they just trying to distract u from mediocre music?
Ultimately kinda bored with this kind of blog coverage. I'd rather not know about this type of 'insider' info--would rather just assume that it is 'magic'/stuff that I don't have to think about.
Do u like artists who have visually stunning live performances?
Do u feel bad for artists that don't have major label money who can't afford clothes that have neon lights on them?
N e ways. I was at the mall last weekend, and I saw some ethnic bro selling 'light up tshirts' that had ying yangs and shit like that on them. Not even sure if what she does is a skill, or if you can just get that kind of stuff custom made at the mall.
Should I contact Janet Hansen to make me a meme costume that lights up?
The Cobrasnake, a party photographer recently posted photographs from a relevant Australian Music Festival. It seemed like it was geared towards 'the electro party scene.' I am not sure if there were any highlights of the show, or if foreign artists just abuse Australian budgets to 'make mad bank' and get a free vacation.
Mainly feel like utilizing this post to promote the Genre Shirt meme, a shirt designed by Carles, highlighting different types of music from around the world.
Do u have a genre shirt?
Are genre shirts 'so last year'?
Have u received ur shirt?
Did I AM CARLEs 'tanks'?
Discount code for 25% off all purchases: BLOGBUZZ
Steve Aoki apparently designed some new tennis shoes / sneakers. They seem like they are supposed to be very alternative, since they don't include the mainstream technology called 'shoe laces.' Instead, they feature 4 futuristic straps. Maybe they are marketed towards people who never learned how to tie shoes, but no longer want to wear dorky velcro shoes.
Finishing up the Spring 2010 NS lineup is the Strapped II. Steve Aoki’s signature shoe has been completely redesigned from the original – the new model retains the signature four-strap design while sporting a taller cuff and lower-profile vulcanized sole. The Strapped II will be relaesing over the next two months in Black Full-grain Leather, White Canvas and Acid Wash Denim versions.
Do u think Steve Aoki shoes will become 'the new Michael Jordans'?
Do u still wear sneakers, or are they for entry level alternative bros?
Do u like his shoes?
Are shoe laces alt or mainstream?
Do u own a pair of sneakers?
What is the most authentic footwear?