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THE ALT REPORT
Odd Future's Adult Swim show "Loiter Squad" looks stupid, trying 2 be 'The Black Jackass.'
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Odd Future has some television show coming out on Adult Swim called Loiter Squad. This is a preview of the show, and it looks 'stupid,' but I guess that is basically the Odd Future brand. Just the whole 'Nigga, look at me!' gimmick that they keep rolling out without saying anything except 4 "Swag" and whatever else white suburban tweens are looking to adopt/replicate.

I guess they are just trying to be 'the black Jackass,' but I'm not sure if they are really willing to go 'balls to the wall' in order to achieve maximum pain and internet sharing virality. I have no idea why any1 even cares abt Odd Future, but I guess they are the rap equivalent of an overvalued indie band to the black and white-skateboarding-culturally-lost generation.

Hopefully they get to drop 'mad n-bombs' on TV, or else they will have completely 'sold out' and 'gone corporate.'

Does this look 'funnie'?
R u LOLing?
Does n e 1 even care abt Odd Future any more?
Should Tyler the Creator 'go solo' so that he doesn't have to pay all those other random black ppl?
Will the blogosphere quit pandering to white suburban tween swag skater boi bros and stop pretending like Odd Future is 'kewl' and/or 'innovative'?

Tyler, The Creator

Alternative Celebrity

Tyler is a teenage producer, rapper, and the leader of an experimental lofi shock-rap crew called Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

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Indie cat lady Best Coast announces clothing line "Bethany Cosentino for Urban Outfitters."

best coast bethany cosentino fashion line urban outfitters
Bethany Cosentino is desperate for mainstream fame. Best Coast is doing her best to try to become 'the next Zooey Deschanel', even though she still has a trashy C-list alt celeb BF in WAVVES. Her next album is going to be all about converting mainstream tweens to her fem-wave alt rock crappy grunge sound, appealing to the Hello Giggles and Rookie Mag markets. Not sure if the album is going to be 'huge' or 'completely tank,' but it seems clear that indie critics are getting ready to 'pan' it, and larger content farms will be ready to blindly 'hype' her just to get a few hits, in case she does something controversial.

Anyways, she tweeted that she has a new clothing line for Urban Outfitters called "Bethany Cosentino", which makes sense because she usually looks like she threw on some over-priced thrift store garbage outfit. I guess that's what fuzzy buzzy tweens want to look like. I have no idea if this picture is even 'real', or if it is just some random ass broad in a Bethany Cosentino outfit.

Do u think her clothes come pre-coated with cat hair and day-old dank smell?

There's something refreshing about Bethany's personality on Twitter to lamestreamers, because she always takes on the 'OMG! This is crazy! Such big thangs poppin for Lil Ole Me! I'm livin my dream!' Bethany Cosentino is already rumored to drive a high priced Mercedes.

Only time will tell if Best Coast will be able to 'go mainstream', but more importantly, is the AZN BRO in her band getting a cut of fashion sales, or is she trying to monetize without him?

Do u <3 or h8 Best Coast?
R u gonna buy her clothes?
R u excited 2 see lamestream wannabe alt suburban tweens dressing like ur favorite indie cat lady?
Is Bethany Cosentino a 'fashion icon' or a 'fashion wannabe'?
Do u shop at Urby, or do their clothes always end up falling apart?
Is Bethany Cosentino 'a mainstreamer' who gets covered by indie blogs?
Can she build enough 'backlash' to 'go LDR', or will no1 even care abt her?

Best Coast

Buzzband

Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

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Sleigh Bells PREMIUM frontwoman Alexis Krauss eats pizza, still has BANGIN BOD

sleigh bells pizza
Oh Sexi Lexi...
How do u do it?
U have the perfect voice
The perfect alt personal brand
and u manage to have the ULTIMATE BANGIN BOD in indie
and u still eat pizza

Honestly, u look good, bb!
But at the same time...
I sorta wish I was 'other dude' in ur band
so that I could buy u toppings.
Do u like artichoke hearts?
Or just a pepperoni type of viber?

I sorta wish Other Dude would chill out some times
I mean, WTF bro? This isn't freaking Desert Storm

Wish he would just ease up on the aggro vibes
now that we got Saddam and Osama

I wanna buy u an HD TV
so we can 'warm up a premium DiGiorno'
and just vibe on it
watching some killer eps of a relevant TV show

Oh Sexi Lexi Krauss...
I'd rather canoodle with u
than #LDR any day of the week
Gonna be so pissed when that broad gets a sleeve tat

Do u <3 Alexis Krauss?
Is she the #1 indie diva BB in indie?
Do u want 2 eat pizza with her?
Do u wish Other Dude would chill?
Were u Born 2 Die or Born 2 Lose?



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