Whaddup guys? It's Vercetti. Lucas. Call me Luke if you guys want.
Just wanted to say SUP and that I've been working on some music of my own. Don't get met wrong, I'm really appreciative for my job at the Odd Future retail outlet store. We're even thinking about opening a new store at the Outlet malls. You know, the ones 40 miles outside of town where fat old ladies go because they think they are getting deals by driving so far away, and they make a day out of it and have a nice brunch at Cracker Barrell. It'll be sick. I hope I'm not transferred there, though.
I just want to get out of the shadow of the guys. You know, sort of like a spinoff show. Maybe like 'Frasier' after 'Cheers,' 'Joey' after 'Friends', or 'Maggie's World' after 'The Simpsons.' Even if I fail, I will know that I tried to make it on my own. Without any charity from the Odd Future guys. They treat me like shit all the time, but it's a good gig. I even get to date some one who was harvested in Demi Moore's womb. It's CRAZY to watch 'St. Elmo's Fire' and know that I have a personal connection to it.
Now that's what I call a brat pack!
Plus check out my 6 pack! Skating actually gives you a FULL BODY workout. My core is effing ACTIVATED. Don't listen to the haters that don't think it should be an Olympic sport. I might never make it to the X-games, but that's not why I skate. I do it to clear my mind. It's when I get a moment of peace when I'm not being forced to lick feet by Tyler and the guys. I truly hate them and I want to escape. Tallulah gives me strength.
Well, I have to go gather some papers because we are being audited. It SUCKS. I hope I didn't eff up the inventory. We were on cash basis accounting for a while, so I would take some off the top here and there, so maybe I should fess up but I don't want to go to jail. U know how it is. Thakns for listening guys. Please comment and support.
VERCETTI OUT
LUCAS WAS HERE.
VERCETT!
Lucas Vercetti
Alternative CelebrityLucas Vercetti is the White Guy in Odd Future, and the manager of their store in Los Angeles
Lists: Odd Future, Los Angeles
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Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All
Buzzband, MemeOdd Future is the lofi shock-rap crew run by Tyler, The Creator.
Lists: Californians, rappers, blipsters, African Americans
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Photos by Erez Avissar
Oh Vicki...
I'm getting lost in ur curls...
Literally...
Trying to find a wave of curls to ride...
But there are just so many
Vicki LeGrand...
Ur kinda like the Sexi Cousin It of indie
How do u execute such PERFECT Feist-like bangs with a curly mop of hair?
Ur hair stylist deserves 2 be celebrated
for breaking laws of physics
for the sake of ur PREMIUM ALT DIVA STATUS
Oh, hey OTHER DUDE
What's been up?
that's cool. I think Vicki should go solo
Sometimes ur guitar riff vibes get too heavy 4 me
Just sayin'...
UGH
I h8 other dudes
Why can't indie just have premium BBs
With curly mops, bangs, bangin bods, sass, and PIZAZZ
VIXXX LEGRAND...
VIXXX VAPO-RUB
U truly are my favourite Vapo-rub [via taking mad molly]
Soothing my vibes
Even though I might think 'Teen Dream' is better than 'Bloom' or 'Blossom' or whatever ur new album is called.
Next time u come to my city
I will be in the front row
Taking pix of u with my cam phone
It has 4 megapixels
Do u <3 Vicki?
Does she look better than evr?
Will her curls overtake her body?
Are her curls more important than her voice?
Should Vixxx LeGrand's curls go solo?
Whaddup guys?
Things are going SUPER WELL in my life. So first of all, I'm a frigging TV star. I got my own show on Adult Swim called Loiter Squad. Sure, it was embarrassing to have to put a food in my mouth, but look at what's in my mouth right now... the product of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. As Matt Damon said in Good Will Swagging, "How do u like dem apples? SWAG!"
U see us filling up with gas... but that's not the ONLY THING that's being filled up... if u know what I mean... LUUUUCAAASSSSSSSSSS IN DA HOOUSE! Vercetti!
Things are going super well with Tallulah. I feel like she knows I am the most famous member of Odd Future, especially cuz I was able to snag her, some premium tabloid Hollywood a$$. Don't get me wrong, I treat her like a queen. Part of me feels paranoid that she only dates me to replace the youthful zaniness of Ashton Kutcher in her life. At the end of the day, it's pretty swag to get to hang out with the stars of Die Hard With a Vengeance AND Striptease whenever we eat dinner.
The Odd Future store is doing GREAT. I'm managing the shit out of it! We just got in these swag new tees! They have the Odd Future logo in this REALLY sick font that references something else from popular culture. You'd have to see it to understand. It's a bitch folding every one of them, especially now that I am famous. All of these tweens want to take pictures with me, and I'm all like 'UGH I HAVE A JOB TO DO' and they are like 'TAKE A PIC' then my gf walks in and she is like 'Why are you hitting on fans?" and I'm like "IM NOT IM JUST TRYING TO FOLD TEES AND PEOPLE WANT TO TAKE PIX WITH ME BECAUSE IM FAMOUS" and she's like "I'm the only famous 1 in this relationship" then I tell her "sorry" and we go out to eat some SWAG burritos at our favorite place.
HAve u ever had 'carnitas'? I think it Spanish for 'HELLA SWAG MEAT'.
Anyways, I gotta go help upgrade our inventory management software. I'll see you guys on the flipside.
VERCETTI OUT!
-Lucas
What it's like to be the white guy in Odd Future: The Lucas Vercetti Story
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