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THE ALT REPORT
ELECTRO NIP SLIP OF THE DAY
Photo via The Cobrasnake

nip slip
I go 2 raves
2 see the nips
of gurlz on drugz
Some call me the nip slip bandit
My eyes are like telescopes
infrared vision
searching for that white hot heat of a nip
slipping out from a bra, tube top, or tankie toppie

In that moment that I saw that nip slip
Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲

Goodnite, sweet vibes.

God Bless.

▲ ▲

Former child star Haley Joel Osment is now grown up, has turned into alt twink

haley joel osment grown up picture
Haley Joel Osment is famous for being a keut lil kid who saw dead people in an M. Knight ShammyLanny film. He also got murdered in 'Pay it Forward' for 'paying it forward', I think. Anyways, he was once ON TOP OF THE WORLD, making mad bak for being cute. Unfortunately, he was unable to find a fountain of youth, and was forced to 'grow up' like the rest of us.

Doesn't he kinda look like a keut alt twink?

I guess he was s00 alt that he saw ghosts or something. Sorta makes sense...

Apparently it is from this movie. Looks hella terrible, but I guess this is the kind of crap that gets 'green lit' if u have one post-ironic celebrity in it.

Can Haley Joel Osment transition into the alt film scene?
Can he revive his career?
Should he build a time machine?
Do u ever miss Jonathan Lipnicki? [via The Human Head Weights 69 lbs {via Jerry Maguire}]

Do u <3 alt twinks?

The Hot Altbaguette from Chairlift spotted jimmyjangling an unidentified instrument. What is it?
Photo by Erez Avissar


HIPSTER RUNOFF is the #1 leading source for all late breaking occurrences of relevant female singers JIMMY JANGLING tambourines. However, we CANNOT identify what is being jimmy jangled in this photograph. We currently have our research department making calls, attempting to find out what exactly is being jimmy jangled.

We are dedicated to following up on this story, delivering the TRUE, UNCOVERED story behind this unidentified jimmyjangled object by Caroline Polachek of Chairlift.

As you know, we were ON THE SCENE when Zooey Deschanel Jimmy Jangled her first tambourine. She truly has taken the entire jimmyjangle movement to new levels.

We also followed up on the story when Zooey Deschanel jimmy jangled a tambourine in a sailor outfit.

We were there when Regine Chassagne jimmyjangled a tambourine with the dude from Pearl Jam.

There have been many great jimmyjangling moments in indie rock history. We will not let this one slip thru the cracks.

Does n e 1 know what is being JimmyJangled in this picture?

Please comment below, or contact us using the ALT REPORT TIP LINE.

Caroline Polachek

Alternative Celebrity

Caroline Polachek is the female vocalist & star of electro band Chairlift.

Lists: QTs
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Chairlift

Buzzband

Chairlift is a Brooklyn-based electro group. You may know them as the people who had that one song ("Bruises") in that random Apple (iPod) commercial in 2k10.

Lists:
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