The Little Raver Who Could [RAVE HAS NO SIZE] | Hipster Runoff

The Little Raver Who Could [RAVE HAS NO SIZE]

Photo by the Cobrasnake


A little raver had a super important rave 2 attend.

He went along very well till he came to a MASSIVE CROWD. But then, no matter how hard he tried, he could not move the dense pack of ravers and dubstreamers.

He PUSHED and he PUSHED. He ROLLED and he MOLLIED. He backed and started off again. DUB! WUB!

But no! the little raver could not make it to the front of the crowd. He was stuck in non-VIP, General Admission hell.

The little raver understood that it was time 2 get some help...

"Surely I can find someone to help me crowdsurf 2 the front where I can see my fave EDM DJ playing some tunes," he thought.

Over the hill and up the track went the little raver. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo! DUB! BASS EFFING DROP! LEGIT SWAG DUBSTEP.

Pretty soon he saw a big raver bro standing in the middle of the crowd. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, the little raver looked up and said:

"Will you help me over the crowd with my tiny raver body? I love this music just as much as any1 else."

The big raver looked down at the little raver. The he said:

"Don't you see that I am rolling my balls off and trying to make out with this bitch dressed up as a fucking Sesame Street character? I'm seriously frying here, trying to make MY way to the front. No, I cannot help you,"

The little raver was sorry, but he went on, Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! DUB! WOMP! WOOOMP!

Soon he came to a second raver hottie broad wearing basically nothing. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired.

"That raver whore may help me," thought the little raver. He ran up to her and asked:

"Will you help me get to the front of this relevant show? There are so many ppl who are so tall, that I can't get over there."

The raver whore answered:

"I have been here since 3 pm, dancing my ass off, and I am really dehyrdrated, basically about to die. Don't you see how tired I am? Can't you get some other raver to help you this time?

"I'll try to do this shit myself," said the little raver, and off he went. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! DUB WUB DUB WOMP BOOM BASS DROP.

Eventually, the little raver took matters into his own hands. He climbed up some raver's backpack, and had some guy who was on tons of drugs push him above the crowd.

Puff, puff! Chug, choo! Off he started! He began to float above the crowd to the front

Slowly the lil raver began to move. Slowly he climbed to the front of the crowd. As he climbed, the littler raver began to sing:

"I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I think I can - I think I can - I think I can I think I can--"

And he did! Very soon he was making his way towards the front-stage relevant VIP area loft with free access to unlimited Grey Goose alcohol, cranb juice, soda, OJ, and diet Red Bull.

Now he was at the front, and the little steam engine could make eye contact with his favourite DJ.

The DJ played, and throughout the whole set, the Little Raver who could continued 2 sing:

"I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I thought i could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could I thought I could --"

RAVE HAS NO SIZE.
EDM IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY COMMUNITY.
ALWAYS BELIEVE.
NEVER GIVE UP.
NEVER.