INDIE GONE MAINSTREAM: GRAMMY 2K11 RECAP
Another year, another crappy awards ceremonies where mainstream celebs try to throw down memes that get blogged about as indie music fans 'wish for' acceptance from mainstreamers. But this year, indie 'finally got recognized' and now every1 has mixed feelings. Seems like it is just time 2 start consuming indie + mainstream music 'side-by-side.'
2k11: The Year of the ArFi
"We did it." -the Arcade Fire
Here is the moment where Barbara Streisand announces that they won and Win is like "What the Hell?" Kinda pissed at him for thanking Canada even though he is from Houston and the Suburbs of America are what inspired him 2 write this album. Really an unchill move by him.
Also Regine babbled something in French. Sorta needs to realize how 2 respect America + the American indie dream.
"Ur telling me the ginger bro gets his own Grammy statue? I thought they got 1 and they had 2 share it."
They 'hid' Regine on drums, which was probably a good call instead of letting her sing Sprawl II and ruining any opportunities they had 2 convert new fans.
Here is the Arcade Fire performing "Month of May" as sweet ass BMX bikers ride around on stage. Wonder if this is some sort of co-branding with the X-Games or something. If the Arcade Fire hadn't won Album of the Year, this would have set indie back at least 30 years.
Really felt like at that point Arcade Fire 'wasnt gonna win shit' bc they were marginalized the a crappy BMX helmet cam gimmick, but after the win of Esperanza Spalding, u know that 'the academy' was ready to vote for alt picks.
'At least it provided a great moment for Win + Regine's relationship.'
Not sure if this is Win Butler or a member of Slipknot
...yeah... yalls sex is on fire...
Anyways, the only other indie thing 2 happen at the Grammies was the Vampire Weekends showing up and losing
And Zooey Deschanel showed up without Ben Gibbard (trouble in paradise)?
Let's move forward with mainstream celeb sightings + commentary...
...because America <3s boobs, asses, nips, and vag-es....
Lady Gaga showed up in some egg
Lady Gaga rode slutwaves during some live performance of her new song. Came out of an egg.
Here is Lady Gaga coming out of her egg.
Here she is winning an award but no1 cares abt what she is saying because we already saw what she is wearing
'We get it. Ur zany. Kewl.' [via dick tracy]
Katy Perry: I wish I arrived in an egg.
Katy Perry: I wish I had integrated an egg in2 my performance
Miley Cyrus parties with a bro who fingerbanged her later in the nite
Rihanna Riding mad slutwaves in a recycled Christmas tree dress
Rihanna trying 2 make Chris Brown jealous bc he knows Drake 'already hit that.'
Wish Xtina Aguilera 'cared abt her career' as a slutwaver and lost 20 lbs and got drrrty again instead of going for the 'BBW Aretha Franklin vibes' [via Jimmy John's late nite sub snacks]
Nicki Minaj tries 2 ride slutwaves but will nvr be as 'hot' as Rihanna / Beyonce
Oprah tries 2 rebrand as a slutwaver
Hayley Williams from Paramore dresses like a skank because she doesn't know the difference between 'pseudo-real' awards shows and the MTV family of Awards shows
...because Justin Bieber is one of the most famous ppl on the planet ever...
Here is Justin Bieber letting Will Smith's son rap on his song. Unfortunately, Jaden Smith can't rlly rap as well as his father [via Gettin Jiggy Wit It]
"My parents are training me how 2 be famous and learn how 2 love it."
'I always know how 2 throw down a good meme.' -Lady Gaga and the Whip My Hair girl
Justin Bieber didn't win any awards. Grammys probably lost a lot of tween viewers. They might have to invent a new category for tweens if they are really gonna start voting on this based on 'artistic merit' and not 'fame.'
'My parents dress me.' -ashamed tween
Selena Gomez thought she was invited bc she is a 'real musician'. Doesn't realize she is just Justin Bieber's 'hotter version' of Zac Efron-->Vanessa Hudgens. Wish Selena Gomez rode slutwaves + rehab waves as hard as Demi Lovato.
Here she is looking upset because she was forced to present with 'the crappy Wahlberg brother'
Snooki has a deep convo with Miley Cyrus abt the best way to 'get off' a bro
COUNTRY MUSIC COVERAGE
...bc ppl who shop at WalMart still buy CDs and listen 2 the radio...
Here's a picture of Lady Antebellum. What is the deal with modern country bands and how they dress like 'kewl Christian teens' or something. Need 2 get some highlights in my hair or something.
Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley's mom
Bob Dylan trying 2 get out of Jakob's spotlight
Alexis Krauss of Sleigh Bells celebrates her first Grammy after she went solo + released a country album
RANDOM ASS PPL WHO WEREN'T THAT INTERESTING
...bc these ppl are 'famous' and 'relevant' 4 some reason...
'Bc ur amazing... Just the way u r' -lamestream valentine
Eminem looking like an angry meth addict [via Detroit]
'I'm worried that Jennifer Hudson is losing 2 much weight and can't inspire thick girls with decent voices any more.' -Precious
"You'll always just be Jimmy Fallon's backing band."
Janelle Monae needs to stop dressing like a 'little boy' and start riding slutwaves if she wants to get famous-er
"So ur indie, rite?" -Snooki to the Florence and the Machine broad
"Yes, I'm a telejournalist." -MTV's Sway
Does n e 1 know why the mainstream music machine keeps trying to push Florence and the Machine down mainstreamers throats?
Wonder if alt blogs should start covering Esperanza Spalding. What is she all abt? From Portland? Should she just collab with as many types of bands as possible?
GOO PEOPLE + GOOP PPL
...bc Cee-Lo is mad scary... & Gwynny should start a slutwave project.
Here is a video of Cee Lo Green and poopular GOOP blogger Gwyneth Paltrow singing the Walmart edit of "Fuck You."
I really don't know what the deal with Cee-Lo is. Really feel like he is some sort of asexual goo creature that only finds pleasure in diabetes-wave baked goods
Scared of him. Wonder if Chris Martin is 'mad pissed' that Gwenny cheated on him and rolled around on an African American goo man's piano.
"Chris really shoulda been there for her." -Hollywood relationship expert
Beyonce chills with GOOP blogger Gwynny Paltrow
BRO ROCK COVERAGE
...bc rock n roll will last 4evr...
John Mayer got a haircut during the show and presented with J-Lo
Lead Singer of My Chemical Romance
2 of the Kings of Leon plan to 'spit roast' Miley Cyrus 2nite
Here is the band Train winning for 'kewlest dudes in the world.'
Is Muse just a mainstream/poor man's Radiohead?
'We're from Britain. It's like Canada, except for crappy overground alt rock bands instead of crappy overground indie bands.' -crappy alt rock bands
The guy from Maroon 5 wears 'oops I crapped my pants' pants
WASHED UP PEOPLE WHO SHOWED UP TO THE GRAMMYS BC THEY CAN'T LET GO OF FAME
...bc no1 had the heart to tell them 2 'stay home'...
Ricky Martin wears totally alt skinny silver jeans [via living la vida loca in his pants]
Kelly Osbourne invited herself 2 the Grammys more than 10 years after 'The Osbournes' were relevant
Some1 accidentally told Monica that 'The Boy Is Mine' is up 4 a Grammy and she showed up but I think Brandy is in jail.
Jewel crashes the stage and performs "Who will save ur Soul? (Will.I.Am RMX)"
Worried abt JC Chasez's baby dinosaur face. Wonder if any of those non-JT + Lance Bass (post-coming_out) were ever able to find happiness post-NSYNC
The girl in the band from Wayne's World kills her dog and goes 2 the Grammys
"Who invited AC Slater?" -Screech Live Tweeting the Grammys
Adam Lambert still trying to ride his Am Idol fame even though no1 cares abt his music except for 'tolerant Wal Mart shoppers'
The Ghost of the Dead Guy from Milli Vanilli comes 2 reclaim his confiscated Grammy
Did u watch the Grammys?
R u proud of the Arcade Fire?
Was the ceremony lamer than evr?
What's next for Bieber / Esperanza Spalding / Win Butler?
Who deserved 2 win?
Who deserved 2 lose?
Who was the biggest 'out of place' band/human at the Grammys?
Which awards show generates the most memes: The Grammys or the MTV VMAs?
Who will be the next indie band to win a relevant Grammy?
Would u rather win 'Album of the Year' from the Grammies or from Pitchfork?
The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.