I am back home with my mainstream family. I feel so displaced coming back to suburbia. It's like I don't even have a home n e more, and I can finally relate to the theme of most indie movies made from 2000-2005.
I look across the dinner table, and wonder who these people are, and how they have forged my independent spirit. They have no knowledge of what I know and what I have seen, but some how, they made me into the person I am today. While I am thankful for my parents' support, I wish I could prove to them that I can make it on my own. I wish I could prove to them that there is a reason that I live my life the way that I do.
This will happen one day.
They see me, and they don't quite 'get' me. Perhaps they are just relieved that I am pursuing a degree. Perhaps they are relieved that I am not a 'ghey' like they probably thought I would end up being during high school. Sometimes I wish I could authentically communicate with them in the same manner that I communicate with a group of my closest friends when I am buzzed. But that will probably never happen.
Part of me longs to get this table of people who I am related to [via blood] to 'get' me, but the alternative part of me wants to stop honoring mainstream concepts like bloodlines and family.
I look around my childhood room, and I take a moment--a moment to think about how far I've come. I used to be so disillusioned/impressionable/out-of-touch-with-reality. Now I know who I am. I know what I will become. I take solace in this fact.
What am I thankful for?
I am not sure.
I am sure.
I know what I am thankful for.
//// What I am thankful for.
////// by Carles
I am thankful for social networks, a place that helps me express myself and connect with friends.
I am thankful for blogs, a form of media where I can truly express myself without the constraints and excess noise of social networks.
I am thankful for my friends because they help me to feel better about myself after I find out how sad/alone they are bc they have parents who didn't love them as authentically as mine love me.
I am thankful for Napster for creating the mp3.
I am thankful for Mark Zuckerburg and Tom for being my friend.
I am thankful for vegan bc it made my family make me a 'special lil meal' at the Thanksgiving table.
I am thankful for computers for making electro too accessible.
I am thankful for Apple for creating the iPhone so that I can do lines of blow off it.
I am thankful for Macbooks and iMacs for giving me the opportunity to 'connect' and 'create' to build my weblog website thingy.
I am thankful for Fiji water for giving me the opportunity to differentiate.
I am thankful for frozen yogurt for giving me an alt+healthy 'smart treat.'
I am thankful for Justice for being a meme that can be blogged about until they make a new album and inauthentic people will 'say it is good' but they will just be holding on to how the world used to be/who they used to be.
I am thankful for party photographers for 'going out' so that we don't have to.
I am thankful for girls who show their breasts in party pix for coming from fractured families.
I am thankful for child predators who made child predator glasses possible.
I am thankful for Anthony Volodkin for creating the Hype Machine and adding value to the long tail of meaningless, crappy, terrible, unjustified, poorly written music blogs.
I am thankful for the man who invented the remix.
I am thankful for cool dads who drive Priuses.
I am thankful for free spirited moms who drive Lexus SUV hybrids.
I am thankful for free spirited moms who make 28K per year and dress like they just came out of a dumpster.
I am thankful for my blog bffs for posting a few good songs per week so that I don't have to listen to the crappy mp3s that entry level producers send me [via email].
I am thankful for street fashion bloggers for being the kind of people who 'still carry a camera around with them every where they go' (this is what people did when digital cameras came out, but now with camphones, it's a whole new landscape).
I am thankful for tumblr for taking the meme economy to a place we never thought it could.
I am thankful for people who hang out on message boards who 'have opinions.'
I am thankful for people who are trying to take their alternative personal brand to the next level.
I am thankful for Sparks for keeping me awake when I am abt 2 fall asleep at 1 p.m. every day.
I am thankful for my boss at my 'real job' not knowing what Sparks is, so that I can drink it at my desk at work.
I am thankful for blow.
I am thankful for sluts in bathrooms.
I am thankful for God, for creating people of all colours.
I am thankful for AZNs.
I am thankful for blipsters.
I am thankful for Obama.
I am thankful for MexicAlts/Altinos.
I am thankful for white people for oppressing s00 many people, enabling some of the most 'bad ass' art which has inspired college dorm room art for mnstrm bros.
I am thankful for my brother who doesn't 'get' me.
I am thankful for my sister for 'trying to understand me.'
I am thankful for airlines so that I can fly abroad to find myself.
I am thankful for Australia, France, the UK, and other altCountries for passing laws which legalize study-abroad programs.
I am thankful for HIPSTER RUNOFF.
I am thankful for Carles.
I am thankful for 'meaning.'
I am thankful for authenticity.
I am thankful for finding a place where people who 'see the world the way I do' go to talk about life.
I am thankful that Carles 'gets' me.
I am thankful for me.
I am thankful for my personal brand.
I am thankful for American Apparel for creating a simple, yet [highly branded] way for me to express myself.
I am thankful for Barry Obama.
I am thankful for the War in Iraq for helping our economy through tough times.
I am thankful for the Financial Crisis for giving us something 2 blog about.
I am thankful for Sarah Palin, the meme of 2k8.
I am thankful for trivial electro producers.
I am thankful for RSS/GoogleReader.
I am thankful for my brain for letting 'memes' happen.
I am thankful for ________________.
What are u thankful 4?
Do yall know what the first alts served at the first THNXGVNG?
//wish u were here [via miss u]